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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Getting In The Way

There are so many single people that are oblivious to what it takes to keep people interested in them. So many of us focus on the absolute wrong thing, that we end up getting in our own way of making a connection. Here’s the thing: just because you have a great resume and look great on paper, doesn’t mean the right person will chase you down or fall into your lap.

If you really think about your last dating misadventures, you could probably pinpoint where you went wrong. It’s not always “I picked the wrong person” either. It’s possible that it is you. You are part of the problem and you may not know it.

One thing that I have noticed that I do is act very aloof with men that I am interested in. I have had this problem for quite a while and even when I actively try to change it, it seems to be a defense mechanism that kicks in like a knee-jerk reaction. What do you think is getting in the way for you?

I have noticed that in Atlanta, a man can think that his great car, fly clothes, and a little swagger (that word is not going away, is it?) is enough to make women fawn all over him. Oh, some fawn over him, alright! This is also the same guy that will complain about women who are too materialistic and shallow.

While the single women in Atlanta can boast of their hot looks and gym tight figures, they are happy to turn the heads of gentleman. They showcase their looks and accomplishments but will complain that men don’t take them seriously. They get upset when they can’t keep a man interested beyond a couple of weeks. They haven’t quite figured out how to capture a man’s imagination and his mind. This is most likely because they lack the ability to bring peace to his mind and heart. Men need that, I think. Just as much as they need a woman that looks great and can put together a great meal.

So, let’s be honest, what is getting in the way of our dating relationships? What are you going to work on that has impeded you in the past?

625 comments Add your comment

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:11 pm

Tatas – We only get aggressive when we feel like we are being disrespected.. She was used to running her office and minions so she thought she could handle me the same way.. No dice..

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:12 pm

W8 – They are all good.. they tag teamed for me and your situation may be different from mine so they are gonna put the best attorney on the case..

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:13 pm

@PG- Dont mind the expense or paying upfront…and yeah women are ruthless towards other women..I just called and setup a Consult

PG/DK/Eli- Thanks

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:17 pm

Can you believe, it’ll be a year of unemployment next month.

God is good. And you’re still afloat?!

Melo

August 6th, 2009
1:17 pm

Can you believe, it’ll be a year of unemployment next month

keep ur head up lil sis!! I been there be4 and it shall come to pass.

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:17 pm

lol@Demi- I’m really a mean azzhole in real life..lol..UNLESS you have gotten through the layers and I am cool with you..lol

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
1:17 pm

SLIM Hey chick! All you can do is press, press on… This time last year I was where you are. I thought I was gonna Lose.My.Mind. One tip I got (that didn’t actually work) was to increase volunteering. Lots of non-profs end up needing PT workers cuz they can’t afford FT. That may help keep you from becoming a stick up kid.

CEE Come over so I can drape it just so… he’ll get distracted by the length of leg then…BAM hit em with a lil peekaboo cleavage when it accidentally slides down. Lemme stop fore the shower gets moved up.

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:18 pm

Lol stop it MELO!!! WE do that alot!

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:19 pm

Cain’t find my Ipod. DARN!!!

SlimOne

August 6th, 2009
1:22 pm

Tatas Yeah I was thinking about getting some volunteering in. I’m okay mentally. Had an interview this morning as a matter of fact. ;-)

Demi

August 6th, 2009
1:22 pm

W8….oooooooh, dude I was wondering why you had the look your eye…when that couple past.

Trizzle

August 6th, 2009
1:23 pm

after many many years of trying…i find that i’m never happy in a relationship because i’m not happy with myself. I used to meet men online (yahoo, craigslist, plentyoffish, etc…) but found that it was all about sex with them. Once you gave it up, they were gone to another challenge. I promised myself I would never meet someone online again and so far it’s been over a year. Dating here is difficult. IF you dont look like a hard body from the gym, you will rarely even get looked at or taken seriously. I’m in a relationship now, but when this is over, and it will end, i will stay single for a VERY LONG time to come. I’m at the point in my life where I just want to be alone and not worry about anyone else but myself!

Raqi

August 6th, 2009
1:25 pm

Are yall still on topic before I bother resuming commenting on it???

lurker

August 6th, 2009
1:26 pm

God is good. And you’re still afloat?!….YES HE IS

lurker

August 6th, 2009
1:28 pm

but when this is over, and it will end

talk about waiting for the other shoe to drop….SCHLEPROCK

SlimOne

August 6th, 2009
1:28 pm

Trizzle

If you’re already saying the relationship ‘will end’, why are you still in it? Seems like if you’re ready to be alone, that you should just go ahead and end it now instead of waiting for it to die on its on.

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
1:29 pm

FILTHY Maybe You didn’t until then, but some cats attempt that route off top. Question, was she initially demure in your dealings or did you initially find her strong tone attractive? Lots of slick mouths out here with men. They start out slick, they may not get any slicker, but they’ll at least stay slick.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:29 pm

W8 – Oh yeah mine told me you can just walk away because Im capable of being mommie and daddy until I find him a new Dad.. I almost smacked the taste out her mouth.. But again exercised restraint and plotted my course of action.. Another time she politely told me that the courts system would never give me the time of day about joint custody so i should just give up before wasting my money.. I laughed at her (although I was nervous about court). Since then she has been truly humbled and all I do is smile, say hello and hug my son goodbye. See I had to go into offense mode. I bought a home around the corner from them so i couldnt be denied any access. before i left the marital home, so looking back that might be another reason she’s mad because I already had somewhere to go and wasnt on my behind when I left.. Play Chess Dawg..

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:29 pm

@Demi- yeah that was them I spotted them a block away

...

August 6th, 2009
1:31 pm

Make ya’ next move ya’ best move.

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:32 pm

@ Lurker – Don’t get me started. WITH a job, i WAIT on Jesus! Had me in tear this morning thinking about his goodness!

And as i was reading the guys talking about “child support issues”. My son is 10 years and ask me how many times i’ve had to ask his father for one cent?!!!

Girl stop!!!

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:32 pm

@DK- Yep I feel you on that and thanks for the info..I am really taking it to heart…thanks man….iron sharpens iron…Thank you once again

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:32 pm

Tatas – Nah I used to shut her down but everyone that met her said she looks down her nose at people.. I used to tell her man comeon you aint no better than anyone else so why do you judge everybody so harshly.. We had a good friendship though so we got married.. Now we are mortal enemies locked in this beat it dance with her trying to stick me and me trying to stick her if I need to.

Demi

August 6th, 2009
1:33 pm

SlimOne…yeah, blatino even sent me a pic…I was like awwwwwwww…time to stock up on weapons’n'ish….email me demigod33@yahoo.com

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:34 pm

” you aint no better than anyone else so why do you judge everybody so harshly”

Some folks can’t look at themselves…or atleast admit to it.

Sharre

August 6th, 2009
1:34 pm

I have been in Atlanta for about 3 years now and I have had the opportunity to me a lot of interesting men. Some I’ve talk to for about a week other a couple of months. Of course, I’m not with anyone from that group because they lacked some important things that I was looking for like: trust, communication skill, dependability, some even lacked money along with a lot of basic things. I had to look at myself to see if I need to make any changes and I realized that I had limited myself to a certain group of men. Finally I decided to try another race, and wouldn’t you know, everything that I experienced with the other guys I have yet to experience with my new boyfriend, which is great. My BF has to be one the sweetest and adorable guys out there. He keep his word, he’s attentive to my needs, he caring, loving and he has a heart of gold. So maybe you need to try fishing in another pond. He even took me to Paris just after 5 months of dating.

Tazzee - today's my Friday !!!

August 6th, 2009
1:34 pm

W8 I was in section 104 for 6 years – we just moved to section…umm, can’t remember right now, but we’re on the sideline side of the visitors tunnel.

I hate we lost Harry Douglas yesterday…

Cemeeli I have a hoodie sweater in my office. It gets so cold up in this joint that I ride home with the windows down to get the chill out of my bones. When it gets too cold – I put the hood on.

Raqi

August 6th, 2009
1:35 pm

locked in this beat it dance with her

And it’s not even about the child but her trying to make you miserable.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:37 pm

W8 – and the sad part is she prolly told dude that “Oh thats my sons father he doesnt do anything but pay child support” and dude eats it up.

I’m gonna say it now fellas ya’ll better start getting the facts out these chicks cause its two side to every story and I guarantee if you talked to the EX dude you will find stuff out about your new babe that you didnt know, cause the Boo game is prevalent in Atlanta.. Boo Hoo he left me (when you put him out). Boo hoo he doesnt take care of his kids(when you wont let him see them.. See this stuff aint made up this mess happens for real..

Melo

August 6th, 2009
1:37 pm

@ Trizzle: I’m at the point in my life where I just want to be alone and not worry about anyone else but myself!

u certainly need to get rid of the toxins in ur body and mind and time alone,without having to date, will/may do that 4 u!

IF you dont look like a hard body from the gym, you will rarely even get looked at or taken seriously

Now,there is so much competition out there to be honest.A hard body will get u attn,no doubt.Are u plus size,do u like hw u look when u in front of the mirror or what???
Get ur self esteem right,that wld be my advice.Get around,netwrk,volunteer,go to book clubs,events etc.Even the gymn is not a bad spot to be in.
That may help to get ur mind in the right frame so as to be able to withstand the scrutiny of another person’s eye,accept and recognize acceptance as well as rejection.
Not everybody will like hw u look or talk or walk but others will.Recognize and understand that.
When u do,u a winner be4 u even take that 1st step outa the door!

(i hate sounding like im the luv doc :lol: )

Elijah( Game Show Host)

August 6th, 2009
1:37 pm

@Infamous One….. I thought you were the king of jokes!
Now see this is where I truly get on the ladies! DO NOT PUT YOUR KIDS IN THE MIDDLE TO SETTLE A DISPUTE WITH THE FATHER ESPECIALLY WHEN THE FATHER IS A GOOD FATHER!

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
1:38 pm

Oh and to clarify, I do believe in self improvement, but it has to be for self. Making ome kind of crash course attempt to change sumthin that’s become second nature to you to appease another person just ain’t gonna stick.

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:38 pm

Tazzee I call/email for a work order so the service tech can come and turn the air down. One thermo unit services 3-5 offices. So they get “questionable” when the air is asked to be change….forget that!!! I still ask ‘em to turn it down…expecially day’s i’m wearing light.

brrrrr….

Tazzee - today's my Friday !!!

August 6th, 2009
1:39 pm

He keep his word, he’s attentive to my needs, he caring, loving and he has a heart of gold.

Sharre – My guy is like that too and I didn’t have to fish in another pond. I’m in no way saying anything against interracial dating and I’m not going to assume your race – but I am saying that to say there are some great brothers out there.

SlimOne

August 6th, 2009
1:41 pm

Tazz & Cee I used to sit in my office with my scarf wrapped around my head. I used to sit right up under a vent and I couldn’t stand that cold air blowing on my head and neck. Brrrrrr!

Page1908

August 6th, 2009
1:42 pm

LOL W8- I told you the H got stolen by the “ese’s” when I lived in Phoenix lol. I’m just lucky they didn’t take the whole car across the border and strip it to the bones lol.

Mo- Don’t listen to W8. lol.

Demi

August 6th, 2009
1:43 pm

Trizzle…you read like a woman who has a sign which reads:

DEPOSIT SPERM HERE========> {}

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:43 pm

@DK- I believe you and I have experienced that…it eats me up also

@Tazzee- Yeah I am sad about Harry too, I think Troy B. will be the one to step up…I wish this mess with White was over…I mean he is already under contract I don’t think he deserves a new one

Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara

August 6th, 2009
1:46 pm

What’s up folks???

PAGE….W8…you know you love my skulls and crossbones! :lol:

Dude I swear I thought I was going to have to jump on your back to stop you from going after them. But you held it together. Its so good to see a man fighting to be a great father such as you and DK. Its sad to see the woman use the baby as a pawn because the man no longer wants to be with them. Then you have the lazy deadbeats..

lurker

August 6th, 2009
1:47 pm

Cemeeli@ Lurker – Don’t get me started. WITH a job, i WAIT on Jesus! Had me in tear this morning thinking about his goodness!

When you said that off the rip (in responding to Slimone), I thought, since she entered the blog she’s remained consistant on faith….impressive to say the least

Elijah( Revenge is not a dish that is well serve)

August 6th, 2009
1:47 pm

@infamous one you sound like one of my partna’s ,They have wage a battle going on 7 years non-stop. Now a new battle is he recently got married and now her marriage is on the rocks!

This will guarantee a return to divorce court! A couple of yrs ago my partna wanted to take his children out of the country and I believe both parents need to sign for a passport, the ex-wife would not sign because his present lady was also going on the trip!

Demi

August 6th, 2009
1:47 pm

W8…we both are…if the wrong button is push…PERIOD!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:48 pm

I know u’ve seen alot of things in your life
got you feeling like this cant be right
but i wont hurt you im down for you baby
(i know u’ve seen alot of things) I know u’ve seen alot of things in your life
got you feeling like this cant be right
but i wont hurt you im down for you baby (im down for you baby)

Page1908

August 6th, 2009
1:49 pm

OMG I remember that night at the comedy club, Staceye. W8’s face turned red! Thanks for calming him down lol.

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

August 6th, 2009
1:49 pm

W8 — I don’t have a problem w/ White (or really any NFL player) trying to renegotiate an existing contract, just because of the nature of NFL contracts. Very little is guaranteed — being under contract doesn’t really mean much in the NFL. Add the fact that you’re 1 play away from not only being out of the league, but crippled for life & I can’t blame guys for trying to get paid while they can.

I do wish they’d get a deal done, however — especially now that Douglas is out.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
1:50 pm

DO NOT PUT YOUR KIDS IN THE MIDDLE TO SETTLE A DISPUTE WITH THE FATHER ESPECIALLY WHEN THE FATHER IS A GOOD FATHER!

So true….makes me glad I don’t have kids yet…I tell my guy friends that are only concerned with how “fine” a woman is that if you go raw and she has a baby, you two are linked together FOREVER

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:51 pm

Lurker – Faith is “knowing” everything is going to be alright! I’d spoken to Slim about that before.

Faith = The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:53 pm

Elijah – I swore to myself and told her I would spend every dime I had to be a father to myself.. Even if it meant I would sleep with him in a card board box somewhere along I-20.. She has since said she has seen me give her looks of being serious but she knew that day that I meant that. See dog when it becomes a matter of I would die for this child to live.. It aint no measure you wont take..

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
1:53 pm

Demi I’m surprised at your 1:43…but I liked it though…..stopped just shy of calling izzle a ……

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:53 pm

Testimony….

When i walked out on my baby daddy…baby mamma style! I Was WORRIED as heck! I heard GOD as clear as i’m listening to this radio RIGHT now…he said to me….

“Be still, and KNOW that i am GOD!”

‘n…he has been….