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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Getting In The Way

There are so many single people that are oblivious to what it takes to keep people interested in them. So many of us focus on the absolute wrong thing, that we end up getting in our own way of making a connection. Here’s the thing: just because you have a great resume and look great on paper, doesn’t mean the right person will chase you down or fall into your lap.

If you really think about your last dating misadventures, you could probably pinpoint where you went wrong. It’s not always “I picked the wrong person” either. It’s possible that it is you. You are part of the problem and you may not know it.

One thing that I have noticed that I do is act very aloof with men that I am interested in. I have had this problem for quite a while and even when I actively try to change it, it seems to be a defense mechanism that kicks in like a knee-jerk reaction. What do you think is getting in the way for you?

I have noticed that in Atlanta, a man can think that his great car, fly clothes, and a little swagger (that word is not going away, is it?) is enough to make women fawn all over him. Oh, some fawn over him, alright! This is also the same guy that will complain about women who are too materialistic and shallow.

While the single women in Atlanta can boast of their hot looks and gym tight figures, they are happy to turn the heads of gentleman. They showcase their looks and accomplishments but will complain that men don’t take them seriously. They get upset when they can’t keep a man interested beyond a couple of weeks. They haven’t quite figured out how to capture a man’s imagination and his mind. This is most likely because they lack the ability to bring peace to his mind and heart. Men need that, I think. Just as much as they need a woman that looks great and can put together a great meal.

So, let’s be honest, what is getting in the way of our dating relationships? What are you going to work on that has impeded you in the past?

625 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
12:20 pm

they just tried to take over, once they walked in..

You know how we do :)

Melo

August 6th, 2009
12:23 pm

It keeps me from not pushin Queen down the steps tryna get her spot!

@Mytwo: that and b4 that, is the closest to ur confession i can get and i appreciate u 4 it!!!
Ur sophisticated mental musings have not escaped me either.Ur a phine dime too,i angst smetimes,just imagining u walking by.
Phluckk it,im in a tight box!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

( i was thinking about Rell last nite in ref to yesterday,can u imagine??And i said to myself,brother is in MIA,hes in the right spot,maybe he just needs a lil more mental nudge to get it going 4 him)

Beautiful

August 6th, 2009
12:23 pm

that was dedicated to *2CPTG*. lol. thanx for poppin’ in last week. *wink*

have a good w/e bloggers!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
12:24 pm

but honeslty if she were walking down the street in front of me and someone came and shot her in the head I would step right over her and not lose a step or shed a tear….

I don’t EVER want to represent THAT to a man…ever. I don’t want to ever hurt anyone like…

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:24 pm

Ared I got my fly swatter ready for the exes…it tickles me when they send me email tags to befriend them, yeah right!

:lol:

I’m trying to decide how “friendly” I’m feeling right now. I don’t do the friends with ex thing. Except for the one who is insisting that we’ll be friends.

Shyt, another one is calling as I type this. Something must be up. Maybe I’m posted on a men’s room wall somewhere. :lol:

Fulfilling Me

August 6th, 2009
12:24 pm

@Leggs

Thank you!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
12:25 pm

have a good w/e bloggers!

You,too….I know I will ’cause I’m off tomorrow and today is my Friday….can’t wait for the weekend! :)

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:27 pm

but honeslty if she were walking down the street in front of me and someone came and shot her in the head I would step right over her and not lose a step or shed a tear….

:shock:

I’m so sorry that you have to endure this W8. Your son deserves the best, man. :(

W8©

August 6th, 2009
12:28 pm

Im not into the being friends with exes either..if there was something to hold onto we would have worked out the relationship

Leggs

August 6th, 2009
12:32 pm

@W8, when you can let that hurt and that disgust for your ex go, then you’ll truly be able to have a healthy relationship w/another. Another sign of you “working on yourself.”

W8©

August 6th, 2009
12:34 pm

@Ared- We are going back to court

Grace

August 6th, 2009
12:34 pm

for a guy to ask me to be friends with him after a relationship goes belly up, aint happening, I take it as a slap in my face, torture….how can I be friends with someone I wanted to share life with? knowing that he’s making it happen with someone else? sure I’m not for everyone and everyone isn’t for me I got that, but to be all chummy is a bit too extra. I’m in a pissy mood right now…must be the hormones :evil:

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
12:35 pm

LEGGS See I was really asking bout age range. Knew your mind would veer off, tho! Everyone always says they can see me with older, tho I can’t fathom it.

ARED I kinda sorta think she got the right one. Cept has he said he’s unwilling to be committed… or just not on label lockdown. Must clear out cobwebs to recall…

MELO Yeah, uhm, thanks. That’s just the type of tom foolery that brings me back. But XOXO LOL

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
12:35 pm

Im not into the being friends with exes either..if there was something to hold onto we would have worked out the relationship

My philosophy is if you’re my ex then you’re that for a reason…..I don’t backtrack….at all. Be your friend?….playa puh-leaze.

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:35 pm

@Ared- We are going back to court

I’m sorry. :(

She betta NOT want more money!

Mo (aka Moeisha-This Day, This Minute, Right Now)

August 6th, 2009
12:35 pm

okay I wont even try to speed read and catch up, I’ll jump right in…

“what is getting in the way of our dating relationships? What are you going to work on that has impeded you in the past?” My communication skills (or lack thereof) and allowing my optimism to cloud my judgement (i.e, overlooking those red flags that are waving right at me). Im not the best communicator, always pride myself on letting just enough out to pacify the person or situation and then get pissed when they want more. So I had to say “Mo wouldnt you want more, dont you want to know whats going on with your SO?” Anyhoo, Im a work in progress, trying to learn from my mistakes and grow. I’ll never stop being optimistic, but I wont be dismissive of the reality of said situation anymore either. Im in no rush though and plan to approach my next relationship differently…..

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:38 pm

My philosophy is if you’re my ex then you’re that for a reason…..I don’t backtrack….at all. Be your friend?….playa puh-leaze.

Sassy – I’m sooooo with you on this. I did backtrack once, just to affirm that I shouldn’t backtrack! :lol:

But after a “grace” period, I can allow myself to be “cool” with my ex. Like, I haven’t talked to my ex Beau since we broke up. He’s recently started texting me. I can text him back. But I’m not initiating everything.

While my married ex just told me he’s moving to GA and that his wife won’t be coming for another month…. SO?!? :lol:

Leggs

August 6th, 2009
12:41 pm

@mytwo ~ HAAAAAAAAAA. Thought you tole me to “run with it” (how low). HAAAAAAAAA, I thought about dancing! How low? Must admit that in the past 2 years I’ve changed my mind. I saw this 29 year old for a spell, but thought he was too young. We had fun together, but that was my personal hangup. I will no longer let that be a hangup for me. If we connect on the levels that we both are comfortable with, then I will interact with him. So, 29 the lowest (very mature at that). But really 35!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
12:41 pm

My thang is Im a very dominant dude, so I can come off as domineering.. After going thru my deal I had to learn to talk to her instead of at her. Chill out with the big dawg thing. I had to reel myself in a bit. I believed everything must go the way I thought it should but when you have individuals you have to know that everything you think is right may not be right for the next person.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit...do it right or not at all :-)

August 6th, 2009
12:41 pm

While my married ex just told me he’s moving to GA and that his wife won’t be coming for another month…. SO?!?

So nothin’…..operative word beingmarried…..

W8©

August 6th, 2009
12:42 pm

@Leggs- I only dislike her because of what I have to do to see my son..once I see him on the regular I am fine

@Ared- I am the one taking her to court…thing is..is that she is an attorney and man they are tight with other attorney’s and judges…it feels like going to war without a map or ammo…but sometimes you have to just go ahead and jump right into the middle of battle and see what happens

@Mo- Hey!! Would set Page straight please…lmao

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:44 pm

So nothin’…..operative word beingmarried…..

Right…tho the other operative word is being “ex” :lol:

Demi

August 6th, 2009
12:45 pm

Fear of Success is usually an unconscious thing. It is like the first two lines of the poem entitled “Our deepest fear”:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

PG…I wrestle with fear of having a sucessful relationship for all of…two days.

Then I said fuggit! Imma just put in 100% and let the dude of the most high handle the rest, LOL

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
12:45 pm

@Ared- I am the one taking her to court…

W8 – Well good for you. But yeah, you’ve got a battle on your hands. It’s hard enough for a man in the family court system.

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
12:48 pm

W8

As long as you have an attorney, you should be fine.

If you don’t, may I suggest Cordell & Cordell. They represent men’s rights in domestic litigation. They only represent men. They aren’t cheap but they are good.

Mo (aka Moeisha-This Day, This Minute, Right Now)

August 6th, 2009
12:48 pm

INFAMOUS – OMG are you my ex hubby??? LMAO! He was the same way!

W8 – what is Page1908 sayin now?

Demi – Im taking that approach next time around, just go all in and let The Supreme Being handle everything else

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
12:49 pm

W8 – Like my Sons mother… I had to realize that she didnt want to be cool with me after the relationship was over. I thought we should remain cordial because of our son and after a while I just had to realize she’s angry with me and in due time she will come around or she wont but you cant allow yourself to hate her like that because YOUR SON LOVES HER, no matter what ya’ll wnet thru. I tell ya there were many nights I wanted to hate her, actually thought I was gonna hve to Wayne Brady her but at the end of the day I dont want me to be the person that kept the drama up.. My son will know that Daddy has nothing against Mommie cause trust when he grows up and begins to observe the situation for himself he will see whos being the A$$. You dont want to be that dude that continues to hurt Mommie or hates Mommie…

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
12:50 pm

W8 and PG – Yeah Cordell and Cordell got me what I wanted..

lurker

August 6th, 2009
12:50 pm

They only represent men….WHAT?!

Wishing death on folks ain’t right either….IMO

Elijah( Game Show Host)

August 6th, 2009
12:51 pm

I have an idea! How about a reality show staring the following people!

A for Real/Infamous DK chance for love!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
12:53 pm

Lurker – Yes they only represent men and you can rest assured they will keep that Fathers right on the front burner. Not only that they wont let the courts take everything from you because they understand the courts are biased against men.. They are the best..

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
12:54 pm

Yes, Lurker..

Cordell & Cordell specializes in men’s rights.

I have one friend who used them and they won the case to the point that the ex wife gets no spousal support anymore & he gets to share custody of their son. I’ve heard other men give great reviews.

I am starting to consider to go in that direction with my legal education as well.

lurker

August 6th, 2009
12:55 pm

that 12:49 is more like it…that’s how you be amicable after a bad situation…

Elijah( Game Show Host)

August 6th, 2009
12:55 pm

I had a partner who’s wife cheated on him and then wanted to divorce him after being caught! My partner hired Cordell and Cordell, they got him the house, he kept the 401k and she got child support and a whole lot of drama.

Now she is so resentful she goes back to court every 6 months for something only to lose and have to pay his attorney fees!

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
12:55 pm

Elijah – Pump your breaks buddy

W8©

August 6th, 2009
12:56 pm

I have an Attorney he is a Frat brother and ex- Assistant DA in Cobb…I have been getting my ducks in a row for over a year..keeping all of the voicemails/emails(of me attempting to see him), child support payment receipts etc..

I recently saw her when Demi I and the others were at the Comedy Club…she was walking with her new man and I just immediately started getting heated, because I wanted to know where my son was…oh well Staceye calmed me down and she and ol’dude ended up leaving once she saw me. My mom thinks that she is acting out because I dont want to be with her…and I say that has nothing to do with my son….I can deal with anything in this world and be cool with it..but when it comes to my kids..the games stop..

ON a lighter note my Falcons Season TIckets came yesterday Section 104….boomchickawowwow

lurker

August 6th, 2009
12:56 pm

DK and PG…THANK God, my daughter’s father had/have no knowledge of. Well, he probably wouldn’t have been able to swing the bill. Wow, again…not knocking it, just never heard of litigating for men only.

Mo (aka Moeisha-This Day, This Minute, Right Now)

August 6th, 2009
12:58 pm

INFAMOUS – me & ex are cool but we have our moments and initially that knee-grow gave me pure hell. But I focused on Lil Mo and didnt feed into a lot of that BS he was spewing. Eventually he started to come around but he had to put Lil Mo first like I did. Aint about you or me, we are done…its only about the lil one. Are we best of friends, no…but we can function and be cordial with one another. However our contact with each other is so limited now there is no need for craziness

Melo

August 6th, 2009
1:01 pm

My thang is Im a very dominant dude, so I can come off as domineering

@IDK i think u will do well with a laid back chic,not the A personality type.
As long as u have disposed of the past shenanegans and ur mind is in the right spot, a lid back chic will do the do for u.An A type will just aggravate u and u aggravate her coz uall competing for space.
An explosive mix at best.
Stay away fromthose types,they maybe good but not good for u personality.

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:02 pm

I am going to check out Cordell & Cordell it seems like they specialize in this stuff….

@DK- when I see him I never say anything bad to him about his mother or anything else…I just dislike the fact that she is playing that game with me…but there is no love loss at all..I see my kid I am golden…I dont see him you have me to deal with…let me see my child…my daughter cries at times because she misses her little brother and she doesnt understand why she can’t see him sometimes…even her mother is trying to figure out what is going on with my sons mother..lol

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:03 pm

@Mo- What did i say yall could decorate when yall came over to the new home? Page is being all extra with that

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
1:04 pm

Did you mention cold earlier? Why does it take 1 long sleeve blouse, 1 pashmina & 1 lightweight jacket buttoned alll the way up to get thru a workday. The others don’t feel nuthin! Short sleeve, polo shirt, khaki pants wearing behinds.

Uh maam! I cain’t get them to understand, i’m anemia until they see me put on a sweater. Or if i’m still cold after leaving the gym.

Sup suckas :) .

mytwo Someone will get to see the chocolate wrapped in fuschia love? I figured out how i’m going to wear it until….. A skirt!!! So if somehow the loop/knot gets loose/untied…:)

mwaaaahahahah….mwahhaaaa…

W8©

August 6th, 2009
1:05 pm

@PG/DK Is there a particular attorney at Cordell &Cordell that you suggest?

SlimOne

August 6th, 2009
1:07 pm

Howdy folks! Just thought I’d pop my head in and see what the hecks been up. See yall been still holding down the fort. Can you believe, it’ll be a year of unemployment next month. I’m inviting all the regs to my Rejection Bon fire once the weather gets colder. I’ll be burning all the “Dear John…we ain’t hiring you” letters….rejection never felt so good. Feel free to bring licka, ribs, chicken, tata salad, and herbs. LOL!

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
1:07 pm

“I had to learn to talk to her instead of at her.”

Spread the word…

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
1:07 pm

W8

I am going to check out Cordell & Cordell it seems like they specialize in this stuff

Like I said, they aren’t cheap, but they are very good.

The only real negative that I’ve heard about them is that they are known to put liens on clients who don’t pay.

SlimOne

August 6th, 2009
1:08 pm

Oh and not sure if you all already knew…i think Blatino is a daddy now.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
1:08 pm

PG – They got me split joint legal.. She cant even move unless she leaves him with me. She cant take him out of school unless I agree to it, I have first right to recision, she cant sneeze worng or she’s in contempt.. She tried to take me back to court to get more child support but after they saw what I do for hime the lowered it to only enough to cover his food expenses.. Hey they bumped her and her attorneys head. I could have done morw damage but all I wanted was access to be a co-parent in my sons life. Now I didnt do anything to be dirty but I wasnt going to settle for a every other weekend screw job.. I guess thats why shes so angry with me too because i throttled her in court but at that point I wasnt playing about my son.

Demi

August 6th, 2009
1:09 pm

(but honeslty if she were walking down the street in front of me and someone came and shot her in the head I would step right over her and not lose a step or shed a tear…)

W8…u so nice! lol

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
1:09 pm

W8

s there a particular attorney at Cordell &Cordell that you suggest?

I don’t know one in particular. However, I’ve heard that the female attorneys there are ruthless.

Who better to go against a female than a female?