accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Getting In The Way

There are so many single people that are oblivious to what it takes to keep people interested in them. So many of us focus on the absolute wrong thing, that we end up getting in our own way of making a connection. Here’s the thing: just because you have a great resume and look great on paper, doesn’t mean the right person will chase you down or fall into your lap.

If you really think about your last dating misadventures, you could probably pinpoint where you went wrong. It’s not always “I picked the wrong person” either. It’s possible that it is you. You are part of the problem and you may not know it.

One thing that I have noticed that I do is act very aloof with men that I am interested in. I have had this problem for quite a while and even when I actively try to change it, it seems to be a defense mechanism that kicks in like a knee-jerk reaction. What do you think is getting in the way for you?

I have noticed that in Atlanta, a man can think that his great car, fly clothes, and a little swagger (that word is not going away, is it?) is enough to make women fawn all over him. Oh, some fawn over him, alright! This is also the same guy that will complain about women who are too materialistic and shallow.

While the single women in Atlanta can boast of their hot looks and gym tight figures, they are happy to turn the heads of gentleman. They showcase their looks and accomplishments but will complain that men don’t take them seriously. They get upset when they can’t keep a man interested beyond a couple of weeks. They haven’t quite figured out how to capture a man’s imagination and his mind. This is most likely because they lack the ability to bring peace to his mind and heart. Men need that, I think. Just as much as they need a woman that looks great and can put together a great meal.

So, let’s be honest, what is getting in the way of our dating relationships? What are you going to work on that has impeded you in the past?

625 comments Add your comment

lurker

August 6th, 2009
3:56 pm

Ared Are you on the crack pipe? seriously. If you would calm your azz down you think before inserting foot to the mouth. You big dummy. I’m not even going there with you today.

Elijah( Get ready for your blessing!)

August 6th, 2009
3:56 pm

@Jam…. I meant no harm you know I like me some Jam! I like the fiesty come back!

@W8 why do you have to mention my Cleveland Browns with those teams?

The Browns will have a good season this year!

@My2tatas…. I am having a big Superbowl Party this year! Would you and Jam like to attend! :wink:

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
3:56 pm

The wife is actually home sewing curtains and window stuff for the guest room. Trips to Hancock Fabrics are so boring for me. She was excited.

Leggs

August 6th, 2009
3:57 pm

“frenemies”. That’s a new one, and it makes sense.

Page1908

August 6th, 2009
3:57 pm

Magnum- You knowwwwwwww I love, love, loveeeeeeeeeeee my Lakers and my Phoenix Suns! Hmmmmmm I know u and W8 peeped the super totally cute pink Suns shirt with my future ex hubby’s #13 and his name on the back that I had on the other night, right? *wink* lol

lurker

August 6th, 2009
3:57 pm

My2
LURKER Hmmm Methinks folk been misreading you of late.

SAY IT AGAIN!!!!

Some folks got allll the sense and answers to everything but lacking common…gheesh

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
3:57 pm

TRUST – I’m much more a Falcon” than I’ll ever be a “Panther”!! LOL – my family hates it, too…

Magnum – My bad. I thought I saw something Panthers at some point it time. It probably was Carolina football something! Sorry bruh. Cuz I wouldn’t want anyone to mistake me for a 49er fan. :lol:

W8©

August 6th, 2009
3:58 pm

sooo what you are saying is that these fries that i cooked in the toaster oven three days ago..that i forgot about and just found…i should not eat???

Rana Cash

August 6th, 2009
3:58 pm

hey guys, check out my frugal and fun date ideas every Thursday on ajc.com’s Atlanta Bargain Hunter blog. Everything under $40, and different cool dates every week.

And while you’re out, take some tips from Wise Diva: relax and enjoy yourself.

SexyCool - Jazzy's words called me...

August 6th, 2009
3:58 pm

Which reminds me, Lurker – Saw your last post from yesterday…I’m cool. You’re cool. We’re cool.

Above the Fray.

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
3:58 pm

I’m not even going there with you today.

Good. See ya.

lurker

August 6th, 2009
3:58 pm

Big Bird yeah Imma go there…I did a cut and paste because I thought your answer was sufficient to the idiotic statement of taking different routes to ones house

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
3:59 pm

I’m not usually so trusting of new aquaintances, but misguided might be right. WTF is a Valdosta Wildcat???? :eek:

PG Mine are marinating right now! Have you ever tried a brown mustard & honey rub?

CEMEELI Just cuz… OMG :shock: OMG :eek: OMG :shock: OMG :eek: OMG

SexyCool - Jazzy's words called me...

August 6th, 2009
3:59 pm

Page – I caught that…13 is my favorite number…

Demi

August 6th, 2009
3:59 pm

(@W8: my boyz in Oakland may suck, but I’m still a RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAIDER 4 LIFE !!!!)

Mag…thats only because yousa know Raider’s cheerleaders career enda, LOL

Mag is now forcing a Demi into a 10 hours a day P90x marathon

lurker

August 6th, 2009
3:59 pm

Which reminds me, Lurker – Saw your last post from yesterday…I’m cool. You’re cool. We’re cool.

Above the Fray.

SCool….yep we are

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
3:59 pm

“frenemies”. That’s a new one, and it makes sense.

Leggs – You must not be a Sex And the City fan!

Melo

August 6th, 2009
4:00 pm

4 a moment,i thoght lurker and Ared were in agreement!

Mytwo,i agree,Ared misread her and went left :arrow:

Jamoca

August 6th, 2009
4:00 pm

MyTwo – Yeah, sis most folk already new “truth” was a false. Lol And about mama’s logic…yeah, she made a helluva a point.

Demi – and Mayne, Don’t you start (regarding Foots/long posts in general)…somma you just don’t like reading or like Fantasia, reading is not one of your strong points (but got-dang that guhl sang)! Cuz I dare not put you on blast for fithy-elven (50-11) scriptures at the top of the morning, like you just hip to the 23rd Psalm. Some folks already know about “that goodness”…however, I’m glad to be one of several to witness ya’ revelations.

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
4:01 pm

Page

There is still a little bit of talk (not as much as before) between the Suns and Hawks in regards to Amare.

The Hawks are trying to come to an agreement with Joe Johnson on an extension. If they cannot, Amare might be in play for the Hawks because both Johnson and Amare would be in their contract years. It would clear a lot of money off the books with Josh Smith gone to Phoenix.

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
4:01 pm

Dirty Birds – Bulldogs and GT Basketball. The dicotomy of an Atlanta native.. Yeah I support the hawks, but dont quote me boy.. Oh and the braves but I been half hearted fooling with them sine they names it Turner field when a Living legend played across the street at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium.

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
4:01 pm

PoppaG – My side pancreas is telling me not to talk about football anymore cause there’s not a single game on tonight being Thursday and all.

We can talk about that episode of “The Closer”, or “Hawthorne” from Mon & Tues night though. lol

Magnum

August 6th, 2009
4:01 pm

@ARed: Yeah, it was likely about my boyz from CHAPEL THRILL… And I cannot front- after all these years of loathing the Niners and Steelers (both for OBVIOUS reasons), I am HUUUUUUUGE fans of Coaches Singletary (my high school idol!) and Tomlin (Dungy disciple).

Disclaimer: I wanna see the Coaches do well – the teams’ success is but a mere byproduct…. GO RAIDERS.

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
4:02 pm

Mytwo,i agree,Ared misread her and went left

Hey, it happens. Folks need to get their formatting game together.

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
4:02 pm

Tatas-no, I have tried Brown Mustard and Honey Rub.

I used a rub from Whole Foods for yesterdays ribs.

The Real Rell

August 6th, 2009
4:03 pm

@MO…now….puleeze..always….been fan since..Lawerence taylor went to my high school..along with mel gray and ron springs…not to mention i have played against tomlin in high school sports….i remember paying for a dayum high school game to go see ZO play…not to mention i watch iverson dunk at dayum 15 in the tidewater christmas tourney back in the day…came home on leave and caught him playing qb for bethel long before mike vick stole his style….trust i been 7 cities…HR…for a minute…i just hate the dayum dead skins..back in the day all you got in va was either ….9er/raiders/steeler/dallas…on tv every sunday …cbs fins/jets/browns….take your pick from that list..lol

Magnum

August 6th, 2009
4:04 pm

@Demi: LMAO!! I’ve graduated from P90X and stepped into the realm of Elite training; **INSANITY** lives up to the name “4 REAL- 4 REAL” !!!

lurker

August 6th, 2009
4:04 pm

Melo4 a moment,i thoght lurker and Ared were in agreement! Mytwo,i agree,Ared misread her and went left

That chick needs to pull back and re-read what she posts and the tone. She prides herself on “being up on it” quick retorts et al, that it reflects more than what oozies through the screen. Being that chick, the one that knows it alls, says it all, does it all, sometimes ain’t a good read/wear. Relax and learn a little…gheesh.

Melo

August 6th, 2009
4:04 pm

the moment i saw Ared’s response, i went back to that theme of black on black women hate.

I tell ya,uall do that smetimes.

Theres no reason why u shld tear each other apart just coz ur opinions dont jive or coz shanneekwa has some fly shoes and pants today.
Ur menfolk see that and play that against uall!

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
4:06 pm

I am crakin up at Moca! Lol 50-11 and Barrino!! I’m glad you pegged it cause if on mo’ person say they don’t….

Oh lawd! Gal!

W8©

August 6th, 2009
4:06 pm

@Eli- sorry..go Browns!!

So my random thoughts…Paula is gone from American Idol? I only watch the first few episodes…when folks act a fool..but the new white chick is nice…and atleast she can sing…and who ever said Paula can sing?

Is Joe jackson not with mrs..jackson? What’s the deal with that? Sorry ms jackson I am for reallll!!

So umm yeah after I was tricked into watching houswives of atlanta last week I am watching it again tonight..cuz i want to see the one snatch the other ones wig…and I think I may be developing a man crush on her…Magnum you want to crash the girls party again..they are cooking…plus her parents are in town so her pops may need saving…lol

Elijah( Get ready for your blessing!)

August 6th, 2009
4:07 pm

@Kimmie…. I see you follow the world of the politics! Do you have any aspirations to run for a political office in the near future?

@PG….. The Dawg Pound in Cleveland is awesome baby! Back in the day me and my boys use to lift-up the gates at the old Cleveland Browns Stadium and sneek into the Pound! Beers fights, street fights, chasing the opponents fans those were the days!

SexyCool - Jazzy's words called me...

August 6th, 2009
4:07 pm

Mag – Received your email. Thought I was going to check it out the link in the office today. Too many darn distractions. Will get a listen when I get home and follow up with you.

abc

August 6th, 2009
4:07 pm

I don’t see a parallel between Reggie Bush, Mike Vick and Lawrence Phillips. All 3 were college stars, but Phillips winds up in jail after how many counts of domestic abuse — dating back to his college days at Nebraska. Bush gets hurt. Phillips goes to jail for 10, Vick is out in less than 2 after cruelty to animals rap. What’s the comparison?

Now, I’ll be a little surprised if anyone picks up Vick, but you never know. If they do, he won’t last long. Just my opinion.

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

P90X Insanity with Shawn hunh? Don’t be found in the hospital. Lol…we had a call lastweek. HOw you on heart meds and go straight to Insane.

madness.

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

Cee

cause there’s not a single game on tonight being Thursday and all.

CSS shows a football game just about every night. It isn’t anything new, but it is a game.

I watched parts of the Ole Miss/Arkansas game the other night.

Page1908

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

True PG about Amare, but I really don’t think he is going anywhere. A friend of mine works for the Suns and he gives me the inside track because he knows I am addicted to NBA. Like, I knew way before a lot of people that the Suns were gonna get Shaq and when they traded him too. There has been talk about an Amare trade since I was last in Phoenix for All-Star this year, but ummmmmm I guess we will see.

PS- I love Joe Johnson, too, but not as a Hawk lol. I *heart* Steve Nash!

AmazonRed™

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

the moment i saw Ared’s response, i went back to that theme of black on black women hate.

LMAO…it’s always ARed’s fault. Even if she wasn’t calling me simple, she was calling someone simple. It’s one thing to attack the argument another to attack the person, whether it’s a female or not.

Go around calling Queen “your biaatch” to her face and see how the response comes back.

But it’s whatever dude.

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

LEGGS It helps that I browse the People and Life&Style mags while in line at the Target or Publix. Hollywood starlet lingo at its best…

ELIJAH As long as you understand that I’m rooting for the Giants. Even if they ain’t playing. (And where’s Osi? I will root for him, regardless.)

JAMOCA He’s not really an impostor, but he usually posts in the political blogs, and it had me con-fu-zed when I’d go over there.

Hi RANA! (I like that name.)

THE INFAMOUS DK

August 6th, 2009
4:08 pm

Well Infamous is at the world serioes of DICE with Ashy Larry.. Son!

mytw♥tatas

August 6th, 2009
4:10 pm

Oh yeah, JAMOCA… You just wrooonng for that bout Ms. Fanny. My friend refused to see The Color Purple with me talking bout she wouldn’t be able to read her lines. You and She? Straight to H-E-Double Hockey stix!

Mo (aka Moeisha-This Day, This Minute, Right Now)

August 6th, 2009
4:11 pm

Rell – Hold on Harpo! :smile: Im witcha Bruh, I have love for the Tidewater Boys. I dont have the history you have but I saw Iverson play at Bethel as well. How can you be in the area and NOT have love?? Oh and since I was a huge ZO fan I did find out where he lived! My room was covered with two athletes back then :D eion Sanders and Alonzo Mourning

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
4:11 pm

Mytwo :( i don’t know how to do that.

Cee now lookin at mytwocents like she has gotten on the Calypso Coaster Adventure Islands @ Bayou.

Leggs

August 6th, 2009
4:12 pm

@ARed, just every blue moon I would watch that show.

lurker

August 6th, 2009
4:12 pm

it’s always ARed’s fault….learn from that chick….you’re the common demoninator

Poppa Grande

August 6th, 2009
4:13 pm

Eli

You northerners are as crazy about your pro teams as we southerners are about our college teams.

The Dawg Pound was crazy. The Philly Fans are downright frightful if you wear anything but Iggles gear. The NYJ and NYG fans are rowdy. The Pats fans are a set of interesting folks.

Steelers, Bills, and Packer fans are diehards and love their small market teams to the end. (All three have good owners-in the case of the Packers, the fans own shares).

W8©

August 6th, 2009
4:13 pm

lol@DK- With Ashy Larry and the dice game

@My2- Only the best Highschool Football team ever…

Now that there is a tinge of drama popping up…watch who shows up next who has been quiet

Jamoca

August 6th, 2009
4:13 pm

Lurker – Whether that’s you (Ms. Main) or not…I concur…and crackin’ up at the same dayum time. Lol

Melo – Head nod to ya’ 4:04.

MyTwo – Frenemies indeed. And to the invite ova at Eli’s (pronounced E-LYE)…yeah, you & me sis…you & me! Female version of Simmie and Akeem all over again! You wit’ it? Lmao!

E-LYE – We’re good suga…just a little sensative bout my ish (at times). ;)

Cee – Anutha whaaaat??? Fu–>tha. LOL

W8©

August 6th, 2009
4:14 pm

There is nothing worse than Bills Fan…sorry but there isn’t

Cemeeli

August 6th, 2009
4:14 pm

PoopaG No thanks on CSS. It shows all gray, and dated. Ole Miss won in that one? Not saying i watched it though :lol: .