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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for August, 2009

I Just Want to be Successful…in Love

Good Morning! I had a busy and fun weekend. How was your weekend? I spent part of the weekend relaxing, catching up with friends, and some of it was spent being inspired. I attended the Women In Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) conference where they had wonderful speakers and panel discussions.

One of the panel discussions focused around women balancing their careers and relationships. The discussion briefly covered how women who are used to being CEOs, strong and powerful women faced challenges when it came to relationships.

It’s sad to say, but sometimes being a successful single woman is another roadblock to relationships: finding them and keeping them.  As someone on the panel stated, women who are go-getters and successful often have to find ways to downplay their success and achievements when they first meet men. Do you think that men have preconceived ideas about women who are successful and single?

As someone on the panel stated, it’s not necessary for someone …

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In Between Men

Ok, not literally between men.  The title refers to the time when a single woman is not in an exclusive relationship but has a couple of suitors on deck who could definitely make a great candidate. I think for a lot of women this time can extend longer than expected or desired. Then she’s left with the dilemma: do I pursue casual hookups in the meantime or wait for Mr. Right (aka Mr. Right around the corner, Mr. Right for you, Mr. Right on TIME).

I don’t think this is an issue for men as much, is it? Do guys ever consider the idea of casual hooking up with one woman a deterrent to having a long-term relationship with another one? Is it necessary to do the meaningless booty calls and random hook ups if you actually want to build something with someone you feel connected to?

What do you do in the time that you are between relationships? Focus energy on finding the long term relationship that you actually desire or hit up the single people buffet until you get full?

What do you …

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Know when to fold them

Have you ever been in a relationship and you had that “this is it” moment when you realized it was over? It could have been after you found a huge difference between the two of you that you were sure you could  not handle. Or perhaps it was their quirky behavior that morphed in to crazy behavior. Sometimes, it’s just the simple realization that you are pretending to be happy, when you are really just happy not to be alone.

When do you decide to end things? What if you don’t have a solid explanation for why you want to check out of the relationship, what do you do?

How do you make sure that you aren’t bailing on dating the person for the wrong reasons? When do you know it’s over?

Being on the other side is frustrating too. You know that the person you are dating is acting strange and distant, but you aren’t sure why. Do you bring it up or wait for the person to break it off? How do you know when to hold them and how do you know when to fold them? (Don’t act like I am the only …

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I’m Focused, Man!

On any given weekend in Atlanta, there are a myriad of events going on in the city. At these events, it’s very possible you will see really attractive people, some being single. This has its pros and cons. If you are in a newly formed “exclusive” relationship with someone, it’s hard to turn down the phone numbers and attention.

Why does it seem as if you become the hottest commodity on the single’s market just as you have started a new romance? One month you can go to a store opening, arts festival, film screening completely unattached and on the prowl and nobody says anything remotely flirtatious. Then weeks later, after you and your honey have decided to make a go of it, all of a sudden you are a babe magnet. What gives?

This situation gets worse when you are the type that has dating ADD!  You already have to struggle not to lose interest too easily with potential dates.  When everyone you meet thinks that you are such hot stuff, you probably have to remind yourself of …

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You Are Who You Date

Do you remember when The Secret was all the rage? You could not escape the law of attraction discussion about making a shift in your thoughts to draw better things in your life. Even though I was skeptical about the commercializing and consumerism involved in the whole “movement”, I can still appreciate the message.

When you apply the law of attractions to dating, it’s difficult to apply the concepts to the reality of single life. Are we all responsible for the love life we have right now? Are we the reason that people come into our lives? If we are carrying emotional baggage, are we destined to pull in the same individual into a relationship? If we are happy and in a good place, will the same kind of person be drawn to you?

Even though we have a desire for one type of person, why do you think the complete opposite lands in our lives?

Do you agree with the statement that the person you are dating is a reflection of you? If that is the case, do you “look” like the person who is …

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You’ve already met

If I think about all the men I’ve met, dated, dumped, or were dumped by, I really can’t imagine that I would end up with one of them one day. I am pretty sure that if we were “meant” to be together, then things would have happened the first time we crossed paths. What if that’s not the case, though?

I have heard a lot of couples say that they reconnected through Facebook, or found they were living in the same city, and things clicked instantly. Do you think that we meet people at certain times in our lives for a reason?

Is it possible that you have already met or dated the person you are supposed to marry? Do you believe that it’s about timing? How much do you think our life experiences change us? Is it possible that a person can be right for you now, but was wrong for you years ago?

I could be a hopeless romantic here, but do you believe in destiny? Do you think that whatever happens in your love life is going to happen because of destiny?

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Strange Turn-ons

When women want to really seduce their man, they can utilize all the senses: taste, touch, sound, and smell. So if a man walks in the door and he hears soft music, smells something good in the kitchen (and the cook!) he pretty much is a goner. Sometimes all a woman needs to do is just give that look.

Men are constantly saying that they are simple and uncomplicated. In some ways, I am inclined to agree, especially when it comes to turning them on. Since men are such visual creatures, women don’t have to work all that hard to get his attention. Yet, I am still surprised when I hear about the strange and random things that men are attracted to and what turns them on.

Truth be told, women are turned on by strange things too. I love it when a man that I am attracted to reads out loud. Yes, I’m a raging nerd, but I can’t help it. That gets me in the mood! What are some totally unique, strange things that turn you on? Have you ever been surprised to discover that something turned you …

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Too Soon?

After a break-up, it’s natural to want to get back out there and have a fling. It’s also normal to want a distraction from the misery and void the person has left in your life.

The problem is that sometimes you have post-relationship goggles. You see someone who is probably far from the ideal mate for you as The One, simply because they take your mind off, well the last The One.

Rebounding from a serious breakup takes time and it really needs to be realistic. I have been the rebound girl before and it only bothered me because the man didn’t tell me how recent the break up was. Actually, it turned out being “a break” not a break up, and our short-lived romance ended with a reconciliation with his ex-girlfriend. The one that I had no idea existed in such recent history.

If you want to return to dating after a break up, what do you think is too soon? If you are still having angry outbursts about your ex, is it really a good idea to start a relationship with someone?

Do you …

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Clocking In

One of the things that single women really like about meeting a new guy with potential is his willingness to share his time with us. The mystery man can be sexy and alluring in his own weird elusive way, but the man that is consistent and open with his life gets taken a lot more seriously.

I have noticed that a man who wants to be in a relationship with a woman he truly desires he makes the effort to show her who he is. It’s like a subtle way of reassuring her that he wants her to be comfortable with him. At the same time, I think a woman who wants to be in a relationship with a man would be open to showing him that she is just as invested as he is.

I admit that I have a big problem with this. I know, you’re shocked, right? Maybe it is because I have been single for 100 years or have dated some possessive men in my past. I just don’t like it when a guy wants me to clock in, tell him where I am all the time, etc. I realize it doesn’t look good when I answer the question, “Where …

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She Only Loves in Stereotypes

I recall having conversations about politics with friends after President Obama won the election. We were discussing if this would mark the beginning of a post-racial America and what that really meant. What would happen if we began to see one another simply as people? How would it change how we perceive one another if we could interact without stereotypes?

If were to be honest about it, we all have stereotypes and prejudices about people: gender, racial, cultural, socioeconomic, you name it, we’ve all had them or fought them. The one that I battle personally the most: Black women are too angry and have too much attitude. I am super friendly, smile all the time, and I’m opinionated. Does it bother me to get stereotyped? Sometimes it does, sometimes I don’t care. I can only really worry about working on my own stereotypes I have about other people.

Dating stereotypes. What do you think we can do about them? Is it good to discuss them and address them head on? Do you think some …

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