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Crossed the Line, Now What?

I read somewhere that every healthy relationship has boundaries. That invisible line in the sand that you would never cross, under no circumstances. Riddle me this, what happens to the boundaries when you are in love? Why is it that otherwise normal people toss out their logic and reasoning when they are head over heels?

It’s like being caught up in “the haze of love” completely blinds one to their boundaries. The next thing you know, you are hacking email accounts, looking at text messages, or something equally psycho. Would you be able to get past your date’s behavior if they crossed your relationship boundaries? Did you regret it?

My friend Paul said that he once forgave a young lady for looking through the photos on his laptop without asking. That was just one sign of how nosy and insecure she was about his female friends. They dated for a while but he thinks that the photo thing was a red flag that he ignored.

Have you ever crossed the line with someone you were dating? Did they give you another chance?

My friend D. Young coined the term relationship boiling points, recently.  Those things that can send you over the edge. I can think of a couple that a guy would never recover from. Then there are the ones that can be dealt with and I can be won over again. After a little begging and a trip to the Apple store or something!

What are your relationship boiling points?

386 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:27 am

2C – Post me a number from 8:15 please.

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:27 am

Morning…
I’m ‘even keel’. The same tone I have when I’m disappointed, stressed, offended, and sad, I am the same tone when I’m pleased, content and satisfied.
I’m fluid with my “don’t appreciate” and “do appreciate”…When they happen I just tell the person why/what about it was, or was not kosher with me.

I do not snoop in anyone’s personal space. The last time I was snooping, it was in my Mom’s closet when I was a teenager and I found some things that still to this day my mind is blown away that Momma had those things!

…no, no, no, do not snoop!

Яaqi…And I repeat “I am not to be taken for granted!”

July 31st, 2009
10:27 am

Atlanta Housewives??? That show is embarrassing.

Biatch Pleeze

July 31st, 2009
10:28 am

@Scool- Bob probably wont even respond “Above the Fray”

2CPTG

July 31st, 2009
10:30 am

hey Cee!!!! number? you lost me……

Leggs

July 31st, 2009
10:30 am

@SexyCool ~ first time watching Housewives, and I called my friend who suggested I watch it that this show is a “trainwreck” and I see how people get sucked into watching it cuz I’m now sucked in.

abc

July 31st, 2009
10:30 am

Yall just have to say no to reality TV programming.

The reason that there’s mostly crap on TV to watch is because, evidently, people will watch dayum near anything! It’s even become difficult to find a movie to go watch these days!

I’m back to boycotting reality TV altogether. The only one I’ve really watched is American Idol the past 2 seasons, and then only because my girl likes it, but that show is pure BS sandwich with a side of fried stupid. I watched NeNe for about 2 minutes some months back; Housewives of Atlanta, you have got to be kidding me. Just say no. Maybe folks will be forced to come up with something better if nobody watches that drivel.

Яaqi…And I repeat “I am not to be taken for granted!”

July 31st, 2009
10:31 am

Kimmie I am not talking about rambling, I am talking about a level of trust. I trust my husband to get my keys from my purse without trying to find something that shouldn’t be there. Or he would not want to see. He trust me to get a $20 or a credit card from his wallet without rambling to see if he has any numbers or something there that I shouldn’t know about.

And I can say that we both can trust each other not to have such items that would raise a hair.

SexyCool - Coasting

July 31st, 2009
10:32 am

Raqi – tell me about it.

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:34 am

@ 2CPTG – 8:15 there was a two digit number…tell me what that was.

lol..

2CPTG

July 31st, 2009
10:36 am

oh……hehehehehehe, 30! what, you thought someone was impersonating me?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit says O is for Oochie :-)

July 31st, 2009
10:36 am

I’m really gone need to hear Bob’s side of the story. Sheree dogged him out totally.

I’m interested in that,too. Even though I didn’t watch the show I heard about Sheree and some guy almost coming to blows and he called her and her mother a “B”…actually he called her a trashy “B”…who was he anyway?

W8©

July 31st, 2009
10:38 am

@BP- Girl stop using my phrases

On the crossing the line now what? Hmmm…. I have been presented with this situation and I am very slow to make a decision. Usually I just cut off all ties…but now I just sit back observe and watch patterns…I slide into an eagles eye view rotation pattern…I usually dont pay attention to that kind of stuff when I am dating someone because I know once I become inquisitive I can find out all sorts of stuff…and that requires a special discipline not to…but when folks come at me and try and get into mine…that opens the floodgates on my part and I find out everything I can…I dont mention it…It’s just good to know as I sit back and watch them make a fool of themselves

Leggs

July 31st, 2009
10:39 am

@Raqi, it is embarrassing. I agree w/that. I watched in disbelief mostly over Sheree!

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:39 am

No. sigh…grown folks…please stop.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 31st, 2009
10:40 am

Raqi – Okay, I get that & agree.

Yeah, I just could not see myself with anyone that I could not trust, had to hide things from, etc.

Professor

July 31st, 2009
10:41 am

@Kimmie I agree with the certain amount of respect you should have for others…that is how it was growing up for me. I am going to try your sangria recipe this week so I know it will be fabulous…

As for the “Housewives” I cannot watch that show or “Tiny and Toya” etc.

W8©

July 31st, 2009
10:42 am

I was kind of tricked into watching that show lastnight..my first time ever watching it…amazing..that Sheree girl has a great shape. Nene is fake to her core and needs others to validate her..Kim is just trash and I heard her say “that one will be working for me”…that spoke volumes right there “that one”..I was just amazed at it all..wow wow wow..

Page1908

July 31st, 2009
10:45 am

LOL @ W8 being tricked into watching the show.

Яaqi…I reside in Not-Atlanta...

July 31st, 2009
10:45 am

I was kind of tricked into watching that show lastnight

LOL at the fact that you actually remember the names after only watching once. I couldn’t tell if you put a gun to my head who is named what.

Яaqi…I reside in Not-Atlanta...

July 31st, 2009
10:47 am

Cemeeli keep an eye on this baby while I run downstairs. (Elizabeth now under Cee’s virtual guidance)

W8©

July 31st, 2009
10:47 am

@Page- Yeah I was

@Raqi- You can walk with me into the mall and i can remember every single car tag that we pass along with the color and type of car…it comes with the job…attention to details

Jamoca

July 31st, 2009
10:47 am

Cee – LOL. Ain’t no what, chica. I’m so blowed….

ON TOPIC

As it has already been stated…and I will agree, we tend to let our SO’s slide with petty issues…and in some cases give the opportunity for them to “make it up” to you, in the event that there was a line crossed.

But like several others, snooping is a no-no. I don’t feel with the idea of doing it, let alone carrying it out. And like I’ve mentioned before, the moment I’m second guessing his words vs his actions then, I’m doing a little self evaluation and really asking myself “how did we get to this point”?

So naw…I don’t snoop, actually, I REFUSE to snoop, period. And I’m looking at the man real crazy if he even ponders the idea that he has to snoop around in my belongings.

Blue_Kolla

July 31st, 2009
10:47 am

Well, well, well…

I see the gang’s all here.

On Topic: We’re grown; you cross me and you’re out the door. No ifs, and, or buts.

Jamoca

July 31st, 2009
10:49 am

Correction: I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of doing it, let alone carrying it out.

Poppa Grande

July 31st, 2009
10:50 am

abc

Thank you. I have company in boycotting reality TV. I don’t see it embarrassing. Those people volunteered to act a fool for a dollar.

It is just Jerry Springer antics taken outside of the studio.

Page1908

July 31st, 2009
10:50 am

LOL W8

BK- Dude, totally omg. Hey there:)

Jamoca

July 31st, 2009
10:51 am

Sup Baybeh Blue !!! What in da hayo’s goin’ on in here? LOL

Okay, who’s next: Du? SeanJohn? AggWitt? QueDog? Dreams?

W8©

July 31st, 2009
10:52 am

reality tv= visual malt liquor

SexyCool - Coasting

July 31st, 2009
10:53 am

Reality TV is not real. It’s improv based on created situations and manufactured tension.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit says O is for Oochie :-)

July 31st, 2009
10:55 am

LOL @ W8 being tricked into watching the show.

I did that,too…..tricked..

Professor

July 31st, 2009
10:56 am

@abc I am with you on reality tv, but I am not a big tv fan anyway I actually prefer reading.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 31st, 2009
10:56 am

Professor – It’s different every time I make it somehow, but always good! Yeah, let me know how it turns out!

As for ATL Housewives, they are a trainwreck, but no more than the NJ or NY or OC Housewives. They don’t embarrass me cause they don’t represent me or my city! In fact, on the NJ Wives, they all seem like they’re in the mafia & once they were all in this nice restaraunt and one got mad & turned over the table. All the women on all the shows are ghetto cause if they truly were wealthy & had good breeding & class they would not even submit to doing such a show.

Just a guilty pleasure I tune into from time to time to laugh at & talk about, nothing more for me!LOL!!!

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:58 am

@ Raqi – Of course. Babygirl will be just fine….

Blue_Kolla

July 31st, 2009
10:58 am

Page, Jamo… what up yoll? All I can say is it’s Friday. Ain’t no tellin’ who might come to dinner. Seeumsayin’?

Hey, I gotta put this out to the A. Anybody finding a black leather satchel type shoulder bag containing one Motorola cell phone, Canon digital camera (with a lot of pics of my kid), and a Crimson Red Nintendo DS, email me @ blue_kolla@yahoo.com.

I suspect that I left the joint at an orientation meeting up at Arabia Mountain High School.

And I’m handing out a serious reward too!!!

Cemeeli

July 31st, 2009
10:59 am

@ Moca – You caught up…it’s not authentic sis.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit says O is for Oochie :-)

July 31st, 2009
11:00 am

We’re grown; you cross me and you’re out the door. No ifs, and, or buts.

I second that motion.

Off topic: It’s raining…….CLAP….CLAP ;)

Page1908

July 31st, 2009
11:00 am

Of course reality show is now real it is scripted. Working in the entertainment business I have seen it all. I have a cousin LA who is a production assistant on Baldwin Hills (BET) and omg! All of those shows have writers, editors, etc.

Blue_Kolla

July 31st, 2009
11:00 am

And for all them folks talkin’ ’bout, “What’s the reward dude?”, the answer is CASH!!!

Page1908

July 31st, 2009
11:01 am

BK- I talked to SeanJ on yahoo the other day, so maybe he will pop in.

Jamoca

July 31st, 2009
11:02 am

Blue – What’s the reward, mayne? $$$ LOL @ The Bulletin addressed to the ville’s Lost n’ Found.

The Real Rell - needs nude pics..email me

July 31st, 2009
11:02 am

what it is – 2CTPG….where ya been pimpin…holla

What Am I Missing (WAIM)

July 31st, 2009
11:02 am

@Sassy, here I am trying not to think about it and here you go with CLAP CLAP! :lol:

Jamoca

July 31st, 2009
11:03 am

Cee – So we got us an imposter, ehhh??? Blue betnot be a cloned version either.

SexyCool - Coasting

July 31st, 2009
11:05 am

I’m a top level executive and I’m gone need you to respect my top.

LOVED that line so much – I HAD to repeat it….

LMAO!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit says O is for Oochie :-)

July 31st, 2009
11:08 am

WAIM blame it on the rain…what’s even better is I’m about to leave work for the day…then again I don’t have anyone to call soooooo…..

Poppa Grande

July 31st, 2009
11:11 am

As far as Bob and Sheree go, Bob roots for her success. I know them both.

She and Bob were one of those couples that were together a long time before getting married. If I remember correctly, they were together about 5 years or so before even getting married.

All I’m gonna say is that he doesn’t let anyone get over on him. His sibling had to propose a business plan in order to get assistance on tuition. He rode them to attend class and then made them work it off either through Patchwerk studios or some other venture. He doesn’t believe in anyone getting a free ride. For example, one sibling had to be his driver for some time.

Even with Sheree, he got her a spot for a boutique on Howell Mill called “Bella Azul”. She had an opportunity to have her own business. It is now closed.

Яaqi…I reside in Not-Atlanta...

July 31st, 2009
11:11 am

had good breeding

Kimmie Orange County was the only HW that I even watched more than two episodes of and from what I remember they all pretty much married into the money. There was not true well-to-do blood running thru the veins. You can take a dog out of the streets, but it is sometimes nearly impossible to take the street out of the dog.

I love days like today. The postman just brought a little box to the door with my husband’s name on it. Crossing the lines would be opening the box. Shaking the box out of curiosity would be, just human nature. :lol: Raqi giving the box two shakes before placing it on the counter

main lurker

July 31st, 2009
11:12 am

Sure I have. I was never caught at it, sneaky bastid that I am. As maturity grows, though, so does a realization of the importance of 1 Cor 13. In addition to that, “Love is not jealous. Love trusts the other person.”

Strongly agree. Just because I’m grown and don’t entertain this type stuff and being all secure with me and who I am, if I’m in doubt or there’s seriously a reason to not trust, I’m just not doing it. Not looking, lurking, shuffling, sneaking, investigating…..NOTHING! Who has the time and energy for that when you can just keep it moving.

Atlanta Housewives….just trashy. How you gon have a “coming out” or whatever the theme, party. They they waaaay too much of themselves and really, way too much time on their hands.

Яaqi…I reside in Not-Atlanta...

July 31st, 2009
11:13 am

Poppa it is embarrassing to the city they claim to represent.

Weight you are now “The Mentalist”.