Can I Get Open-Ended?
I used to think that relationships always reached a point where you either had to break up or get married. The end of the road just comes up and you have to make a decision about what to do next. I’m sure this still applies to many couples, but it seems as if some of us prefer/need/seek to have open-ended relationships.
What are these open-ended relationships? Some of you may be in one right now. They are the pseudo relationships that don’t consist of much relating at all. One or both of you are saying and doing just enough to keep the person around and interested. Perhaps you are waiting for someone better to come along, just in case. These don’t end well, usually. Both individuals deserve better than to be in a non-relationship, wasting time and energy.
I think it is always good dating practice to let someone know that you have absolutely no intention of getting married or being exclusive. At least let them know what to expect. So how do you date someone with no goal of marriage or commitment?
I think it’s harder than many of us think. I know many single people who say that finding someone who just wants companionship is tough. Even when they are able to find someone to go along with this casual, companionship plan, someone begins to want more.
Would you be willing to be in an open-ended relationship? If you met someone that could meet all your “needs” for companionship, do you think you would tell them there was no promise of a commitment?
What would you do if someone you met and got along great with told you they aren’t into exclusive relationships? Could you handle that kind of arrangement?
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468 comments Add your comment
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 30th, 2009
12:48 pm
Kimmie – I didnt expect you to tell the truth, but I did expect you to come back with a half a$$ed attack on me.
The funny thing about it is you think you are so smart and I bet you just kill yourself by thinking “Youre getting someone told”.
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
12:49 pm
@ Moca – Maam i’m handlin’ mine.
Waiting on my lunch to get here. How are you love?
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
12:49 pm
DK – If all a friend of mine had to complain about is where her man left his shoes, I’d tell her she had herself a winner!
Dang, what kind of women are yall dealing with that would actually allow a girlfriend to come between her and a good man?!! As hard as it is to find one! Geez!!
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 30th, 2009
12:52 pm
Sassy – Honestly I do call my dudes on some Fcuk Ish. Like if I know he has a good babe at home and he’s tripping. I’ll tell him youre tripping. Only once but I’ll mention it because after that its on him. I’ve called my patnas on plenty of mess and just said youre wrong and they have done it to me. We have that kind of relationship. Now we also have the type of relationship where if youre are being a sucker we’ll mention that too.
Jamoca aka Anck-Su-Namun (reincarnated)
July 30th, 2009
12:52 pm
LOL @ Sassy! Blog Confession for the ladies – #937,562,711. Blog Confession for the Menfolk – #347.
…anybody else???… I mean, since folks want to keep track these days, instead of reading. It’s fundamental, ya know.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
12:53 pm
DK – If it came off like I was “getting you told”, I sincerely apologize. Cause that was not the intent at all. Maybe I touched a nerve, but again I am sorry.
Obviously you got blind-sighted by someone. We’ve all been there too, I will admit to it.
I think I am of decent intelligence, but I know so many that are smarter. I’m humble, no matter how great I think I am, it’s always somebody out there greater.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
12:54 pm
That’s what’s up DK. I don’t think you can call yourself a true friend if you’re not willing to tell them the truth and check ‘em when need be.
Tazzee - countdown to Pensacola Beach
July 30th, 2009
12:54 pm
Jamoca – I think it’s because we don’t talk about the times we were played EVERY time the subject comes up. Doesn’t matter if it happened 5 years ago – the guys want us to bring up those times EVERY time the subject comes up…
DK – I am blessed that I don’t have any “I wouldn’t take that from him” friends. Well, they may be the type but if they are they know that I would come back “well what ARE you taking from your man? Oh that’s right, you don’t have one” But I will tell my friends if they are wrong in a relationship. Not in a nasty way, but more like “Didn’t you tell me God blessed you with this man? Has he ever given you reason to think [insert alleged offense] before? Then why are you doubting him now?” Funny thing is, the last time I had to have that sort of conversation with one of my married friends – another friend was in her ear with some mess.
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
12:54 pm
it’s as if some of you want us to wallow in it, while “you” whip folks with the mistakes (also know as life’s lessons) they’ve made. Damn.
Moca
Lol..If you embraced half of some of this crap or these tangents about being platonic cut buddies, you’d find yourself hanging off Glenwood, over the I-20 bridge tombout “I’ma free myself”…
I know you could giva a rats….but you know..i’m jus sayin’.
W8
July 30th, 2009
12:54 pm
@scool- yes I’m able to..I have software from work that helps with that..but if you search google really really hard and know what you are doing..you can also
I’m a wolf..no need for sheeps clothing..but no need to “cry wolf” if I’m not in the area
mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation
July 30th, 2009
12:57 pm
W8 if you don’t know why it’s important to be good at runnin game if that’s in fact what you’re endeavoring to do… I can’t explain it to you at this juncture either. Lawdammercy!
I heart you maddening men too. Mwah! (B@stards LOL)
JAMOCA You gonna get on the 1s n 2s? These hardheaded dudes got me on some ol Ghetto Boys My Mind Is Playin Tricks on me type shii…
CEE I’m plannin the brunch. Jus cuz…
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
12:57 pm
Tazzee You say LEMON PEPPER HOT WINGS to much. ….twiddling thumbs. I ordered, but they arent here. That’s not cool. I was good and got salad, as a side.
Tazzee - countdown to Pensacola Beach
July 30th, 2009
1:01 pm
Cemeeli I haven’t said lemon pepper wings in almost a week. Why you wanna get me started? LOL
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:06 pm
I’m a wolf..no need for sheeps clothing..but no need to “cry wolf” if I’m not in the area
Big girls don’t cry….
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
1:06 pm
I stay out of my friends’ relationships. Unless one of my girls is getting beat up or on drugs/excessive alcohol, I learned to stay out. You’re always on the outside looking in. Other than those extreme circumstances, I have seen too many times situations that looked one way and were something totally different when the real story came out. Had folks to turn on ME when I thought I was doing good & being a friend. So I stay out. If you need a place to stay or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here though.
Jamoca aka Anck-Su-Namun (reincarnated)
July 30th, 2009
1:07 pm
Contrary to popular belief, not all women are so easily moved by their friends…nor do we all tell/share every dayum thing either…and that goes for family as well. Heyal, she’s just asking for trouble by doing that.
I for one am very glad to have the very FEW folks in my circle who not only encourage me, but inspire me to challenge myself…my thoughts and/or my fears. However, I don’t mistake the fact that these same folk will call me out on some bull if they spot it. And if I’m mad, so be it. But they’re real with me, regardless…even if it hurts for them to tell me so. And I am the exact same way…I expect to be checked on some foolishness by those who truly have my best interest at heart.
And yes, I’ve known a few folks in the past who feel that if you’re both cool with the other, that when some bs comes into play, that you should not call them on and turn a blind eye. Nawww…I don’t roll thatta way over here. My folks will have to just get over that. Because if I really have a geniune interest/friendship…or whatever with a person, I’m quick to let them know, the moment that I have nothing to say on important matters, that’s when you’ll know, I truly don’t give a dayum.
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 30th, 2009
1:08 pm
Kimmie –
Raqi – Thanks for your Honesty. I know I can depend on you to be 1 hunnid.
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
1:13 pm
But they’re real with me, regardless…even if it hurts for them to tell me so. And I am the exact same way…I expect to be checked on some foolishness by those who truly have my best interest at heart.
Who you called to the carpet? Wun me! Lol
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:14 pm
OPEN-ENDED??? WTF?
Oh my bad…my mind was in the gutter…as usual!
INFAMOUS…”Not one woman has womaned up and said she has done it before.” Let me be the first to say that I have ran game…and got over on a few dudes! Dats right…I said it!
Now what????
W8…Concubines???? MMMMM….do tell! What do sheep taste like? Taste like chicken????
SASSY…girl high 5 on your 1:06….we don’t cry…
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
1:14 pm
@ Tazzee – They’re heeeeere.
I’m only eating 6, and save 4 for Lil Cee. He gon be looking crazy…lol
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 30th, 2009
1:14 pm
Taz – Everyone needs friends like that. Friends that have to understand there are two or three sides to the story. I have had friends to ask me when I was having issues with my EX. Well tell me what you did first and I have to explain the entire situation before they would even offer advice on it. If the story was tooo her laden then they would stop me and tell me I was leaving something out. We know each other and know how we react to certain situations so its no pulling wool over eyes.
Jamoca aka Anck-Su-Namun (reincarnated)
July 30th, 2009
1:17 pm
Cee – That 2PieceChick dun’ called me to the caw-pet on several occasions. She used to be on a sis ’bout that fear disguised as pride…haaawwwd! now that’s a lawduhmercy… Lmao.
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
1:21 pm
I subscribe to SI Golf Nation here at work. Why not it’s free for most in my dept/team?.
Why the boss man come asking me if i’ve ever travel for a game with the associates here? I politeley said, no. But i add that i like to be knowledgable enough to discuss it because in my culture it’s a unique sports entity & combined with the social networking power.
He then goes on to say…No, it’s about spending the company’s dime on an activity that’s accepted as “business meetings” from the finanacial VP.
Okay, so now i will attend one “meeting”…jus cause. What do i wear? Lol…hahahahha
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
1:23 pm
lol @ “hawwwd”. Moca – You are a mess.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:23 pm
I stay out of my friends’ relationships. Unless one of my girls is getting beat up or on drugs/excessive alcohol, I learned to stay out.
I have a VERY small circle around me and usually I find myself being the one they call when they need to vent. So like a good friend I listen…..and listen…..and listen. Now if some ish was to jump off where someone is “puttin hands” on one of my girls then they also know to call me b/c I will take a ride if it comes to that…..
Maxwell Snark
July 30th, 2009
1:26 pm
I worked with a man and woman who dated. They never got married and never lived together. They dated for 15 or 20 years … until he died suddenly.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
1:27 pm
Everyone has different ways of running their relationships & looking at things. That does not mean they cannot be my good friends, just cause we look at things differently though. For example, one friend of mine has what appears to be sort of a volatile, passionate relationship with her husband. They’re not fire & ice – they’re BOTH fire! And extremely jealous and possesive with each other. They constantly have to check up on each other, she goes thru his cell phone & computer & mail constantly. He thinks every other man wants her & one day she might leave him for one of them! It’s crazy, but it seems to work for them. I just listen when she talks about him. What kind of advice can I offer her? Me & SO don’t have all that stuff going and I work from a position of trust until you do something to break it. Not her.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:28 pm
Mamba ¿Cóma está?’ chica?…we don’t cry….we get even….
Jamoca - Now All We Have Is Memories
July 30th, 2009
1:28 pm
2PieceChick How about a lil Mary for ya’…besides I think it may go along with the subtopic of the moment.
Okay, I had this song on repeat after my first/last “serrus” LT committed relationship of putting so much more into the relationship, that I had nothing left on reserve for myself. Lived, loved and learned the hard way. rolling eyes
All those pretty memories,
I know you can hear me now
For the record,
I love you, I love you
[Repeat]
[Verse 1]
When I found out that you were leaving me,
I couldn’t sleep thinking about
All the things that we’ve been through
Now all that I want to do
Is tell you that I, (I)
Miss you…so much…
(You know I really really miss you…)
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
Now that I’m on my own
I know that in time I’ll find somebody new
(Who’ll treat me better than you)
So I’ll go all alone without you
But I still love you
You know I’ll never live without you
[Chorus]
I wish you’d change your ways soon enough
So we can be together
You just don’t understand good enough
But now all we have is memories…
[Chorus]
Memories we shared
No one else could compare
Ohh, I miss you, I miss you
Oh I miss you
…of the way we used to be,
Oh, those pretty memories
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 30th, 2009
1:28 pm
Black Mamba – Dang! Like that.. Hey but it is what it is. See we have instincts to but usually we are so territorial that we get caught up in another Dog pissin in our yard that we miss the fact that shes already gone. We dont want her but dont want anyone else to have her. I mean that in a non Domestic Violence kind of a way though. By the end we are usually looking at ya’ll more as possessions than the other piece to the relationship.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
1:30 pm
I mean that in a non Domestic Violence kind of a way though.
LOL!! Cute!
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:36 pm
SASSY…”Mamba ¿Cóma está?’ chica?…we don’t cry….we get even….” Es la verdad chica! Tu sabes! That’s cause we are Wolf Tamers!
INFAMOUS….why we gotta be possesions? LOL
Iminthewrongblog
July 30th, 2009
1:39 pm
Most of You sound like Hollywood starlets. So much for diseases.
W8
July 30th, 2009
1:40 pm
Lol@Staceye atleast you admit it.
@Sassy/Staceye-what yall know about taming a wolf..lol
@DK-when I’m done I’m done I hope and pray that when she becomes an ex that she finds another man fast. I’m a one man wolfpack..lol
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:42 pm
W8…my girl Sassy and I know plenty….we will whip and bite that a$$! Now what? “who’s my b*tch?”
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:43 pm
That’s cause we are Wolf Tamers!
You know I know
Cemeeli
July 30th, 2009
1:43 pm
Thanks for making a donation!!!
Go blog!
Alpha Female
July 30th, 2009
1:43 pm
That wolfpack thing is kinda sexy. Kinda.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:45 pm
W8…my girl Sassy and I know plenty….we will whip and bite that a$$! Now what? “who’s my b*tch?”
Watch out Mamba….he likes it rough like that
Jamoca - Now All We Have Is Memories
July 30th, 2009
1:45 pm
in my best voice of Mr.Clarence…”donations!do-naaations!”
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:46 pm
SASSY…I know he does huh…ok..new game plan…we tickle him to death. It will blow his mind!
RelldaRake - one man wolfpack!!!
July 30th, 2009
1:47 pm
Can we all use that explanation when we take it to the far left?
- i hope you have all this air in your chest if/when we ever cross paths!!!….lol
@staceye….lol, you got ova on dudes..the dayum grand pooba of the she-male men hating club…”we dont believe you..ya need more people”…lol
W8
July 30th, 2009
1:47 pm
@Staceye/Sassy- I probably am a two woman job…”Hungryyyyyy like a wolf!!!!!!”
…I don’t know if yall two are running game on me but I am not going to end up open-ended…lmao…lol
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:49 pm
RELL…I’m no Tranny!
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 30th, 2009
1:50 pm
W8 – Somebody is probably running game on you, laying back in the cut, while you try to figure out Staceye & Sassy!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:50 pm
I know he does huh…ok..new game plan…we tickle him to death. It will blow his mind!
Hmmm…tickle him(oooh wonder where) with one of those little feathery things they sell at the novelty stores perhaps….
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:51 pm
W8….Wait til’ you are in the dungeon with Sassy and I….
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 30th, 2009
1:53 pm
SASSY…you know I got a few of those laying around my lair…amongst other things!
RelldaRake - one man wolfpack!!!
July 30th, 2009
1:54 pm
@staceye….lol, i know but i cant believe you would engage in that type of f uckery getting ova on dudes..not you…lol
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 30th, 2009
1:54 pm
Somebody is probably running game on you, laying back in the cut, while you try to figure out Staceye & Sassy!
Kimmie that’s usually how it goes….send in the candy to distract ‘em and then……BAM!
Side note: It’s raining really hard right now…..CLAP…CLAP!