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Can I Get Open-Ended?

I used to think that relationships always reached a point where you either had to break up or get married.  The end of the road just comes up and you have to make a decision about what to do next. I’m sure this still applies to many couples, but it seems as if some of us prefer/need/seek to have open-ended relationships.

What are these open-ended relationships? Some of you may be in one right now. They are the pseudo relationships that don’t consist of much relating at all. One or both of you are saying and doing just enough to keep the person around and interested. Perhaps you are waiting for someone better to come along, just in case. These don’t end well, usually. Both individuals deserve better than to be in a non-relationship, wasting time and energy.

I think it is always good dating practice to let someone know that you have absolutely no intention of getting married or being exclusive. At least let them know what to expect. So how do you date someone with no goal of marriage or commitment?

I think it’s harder than many of us think. I know many single people who say that finding someone who just wants companionship is tough. Even when they are able to find someone to go along with this casual, companionship plan, someone begins to want more.

Would you be willing to be in an open-ended relationship? If you met someone that could meet all your “needs” for companionship, do you think you would tell them there was no promise of a commitment?

What would you do if someone you met and got along great with told you they aren’t into exclusive relationships? Could you handle that kind of arrangement?

468 comments Add your comment

Kym-I am the mystery in the room

July 30th, 2009
8:44 am

Is that what it is called? I thought it was just two people keeping company and if it is not broke don’t fix it…Anywoo in the words of Mr. For Real, state your intentions up front. ” I am not looking to get married, I want companionship, not entrapment. Just make it plain. If the other person can’t deal then they have the option to leave, if they choose to stick around…well they knew the job was dangerous when they took it.

mytw♥cents

July 30th, 2009
8:55 am

Bless your heart, Wisey. You’ve had so much sun you forgot you’re on vacation, still posting your heart out…Smooches!

Your Open-Ended is a classic Strung-Along. This is not good because it implies someone is being kept in the dark about the dead end. However, some of us have strung ourselves along (raising my hand) because we focused on what ‘could be,’ rather than what actually was.

I thought you meant it’s open ended because there’s no marriage ending. Which is probably the problem for many who don’t consider it a viable option. They see marriage as an ending, rather than a beginning. Then there are others who have taken the vows before and don’t see a benefit in going down that road again. Or so they say, although as an outsider I wonder if that disillusionment is based in fear, maybe of the same outcome? I don’t know, but it’s a sad motivator for any action/inaction. (Hopefully IV Real, DK, Leggs other lurkers who don’t wanna go back there will address this theory. #506)

But back to open-ended just meaning not ending in marriage. I waver with that one because I’m not into the huge wedding. Some people’s feelings will be hurt to find me fresh back from an island nation with a new last name and maybe never even hearing of our courtship. Because I believe the vow is private and just between God and us two. Which you don’t need a marriage license for. Technically. So depending on the day of the week, long term commitment would work for me.

dw

July 30th, 2009
9:13 am

It’s called “monkey-barring”. Think back to your playground days when you played on the monkey bars. Remember how you would swing between the two bars until you were confident that you could reach the next bar? That’s what people in these types of relationships are doing. They hold on to the first bar(person) as long as they can until they are confident that they can reach the next one.

Ms QC

July 30th, 2009
9:25 am

Good morning Bloggers….have a great day! ;)

Professor...in a great space

July 30th, 2009
9:29 am

Good Morning All:
I am going to make this quick. WD, I agree with this statement, “Even when they are able to find someone to go along with this casual, companionship plan, someone begins to want more.”
Guess what, that is why I don’t do the casual relationships it is always a difficult pill to swallow when you have to explain to someone that you do not have more to give. I find these conversations awkward, and not to mention the fact that I feel like I misled dude. On the flip side, I am spoiled and I like getting what I want so it is disappointing wanting more and knowing dude doesn’t have it to give me. Hence I stay away from this drama, unless I am being deceived and my red flags go off quickly.
What would you do if someone you met and got along great with told you they aren’t into exclusive relationships? Like that ‘80s song I would keep on moving don’t stop no…keeping on moving don’t stop no.
Could you handle that kind of arrangement? I chose not too, I think I am worth more than that at this moment in my life, more importantly I have more to give, which would overflow this small arrangement…pass me the bigger cup that is what I want to fill.

SexyCool - Did you realize your were a Champion in their eyes?

July 30th, 2009
9:43 am

Three Words Daily – Possibilities are endless.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)

July 30th, 2009
9:43 am

What would you do if someone you met and got along great with told you they aren’t into exclusive relationships? Could you handle that kind of arrangement?

Been there and done that when I was in college. I was totally consumed with school and a relationship just was not what I needed at the time and I knew that I couldn’t commit to one and put in the work to make it successful. I just chose to focus on my education.

I know many single people who say that finding someone who just wants companionship is tough. Even when they are able to find someone to go along with this casual, companionship plan, someone begins to want more.

This is where I am right now…..sometimes I think I might want a relationship and there are other times I know I don’t….and I don’t want to hurt anyone so I fly solo. I’m sure one day I’ll make up my mind or I might meet “him”…who knows.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
9:46 am

Good morning beautiful people!

I think there is a place for this type of relationship, a just-companionship type of arrangement. Like Mytwo mentioned, people that have been married before and don’t want to do it again, people that just realize that marriage or long-term exclusive committment are not for them, recent divorcees or widows/widowers, etc. Marriage and commitment are just not for everyone. These people need to find each other!

The issues come in when you have folks like Wise mentioned, that are just hanging on until someone they think is better comes along. Or those that have not been out front with their intentions. Or they might be just commitment phobes. Either way, it’s awful for the other person involved with them. They might be a great person overall. Its hard when they meet a person and ARE upfront with their feelings, but the other person says ok at first, but later catches feelings and thinks if they just HANG IN THERE, PUT IN THE WORK, BE PATIENT – they can get them to change their minds. Usually does not work out well. Count me among those that have gotten their hearts broken and wasted precious time.

See, I remember the discussion we had about this a few months back. I think it was East Point, and a few other dudes chimed in, about how they did not believe it when a woman says she does not want a long term commitment or marriage. They say they continue to see her & her mind usually changes. Suppose you’re one of those ladies that will NOT change her mind?

See, we’ve talked a lot of BS on this subject, but bottom line it is a hard thing to pull off successfully. No matter how careful & upfront you are, unless the 2 of you are of the EXACT same mindset, somebody usually gets hurt!

SexyCool - The Closer

July 30th, 2009
9:48 am

Non-Relationships – great way of describing certain situations.

Earlier this year, someone attempted to steer me into one of those non-relationships. At my point of realization (one late,late night call too many and the phrase “booty call” actually being spoken), I let dude know that I was not interested in that type of relationship.

I told him that I desire more, expect more and am worth more. And if that is where he is in his life, then I would respect that. But for me, I was cool on all that.

I let it lie where it fell and moved on.

Professor...in a great space

July 30th, 2009
9:48 am

I think it is always good dating practice to let someone know that you have absolutely no intention of getting married or being exclusive. I concur 100%

At least let them know what to expect. Yep, I think it shows the lack of character when you do not let a person know what to expect, and if you don’t know that is fine let them know that too, and when you realize what you want communicate that with your dating partner.

So how do you date someone with no goal of marriage or commitment? I cannot answer this one because that is not my thing.

Pretty Wings

July 30th, 2009
9:53 am

Good Morning Good People!

Sometimes things aren’t what they seem, people aren’t who we thought they were and circumstances don’t go as we expected them to. Sometimes when we internalize these “situations”, we can be hurt…spiritually hurt and it can be emotionally painful. There’s a thing called trickery, floating around in the universe and it is used by certain negative “energies”, in order to attack & destroy us spiritually and sometimes…sometimes we are blind sided (or not) and blinded from the attack! All we see are the “niceties” that surround us at the time. The strokes to our egos, or the false promise of a fake friendship, or maybe even the temporary five minutes of fame w/a side order of cars, green and bling. However, we must remember that it is just a trick & it is the mission of these negative “energies” to destroy the positive “energies” that was bestowed to us by birth (if we are vulnerable and/or if our spirits aren’t right), by any means necessary…and again, we can be hurt. Nevertheless, if we find ourselves a victim of trickery and wounded from these spiritual attacks, we must learn that in order to heal, we have to forgive the perpetrators of these tricks and ourselves for not having the wherewithal to have avoided them in the first place. If we are so blessed to be able to open our eyes the day after the battle, then we have persevered…Persevered in FAITH!

Game Over!

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
9:56 am

So people, what do you do when you’ve told a person upfront that you don’t want commitment, yet you’ve been seeing this person for awhile and you get the vibe that that person is catching feelings? Do you have a discussion with them, break it off?

How long can you have such a non-relationship? Do they have an expiration date? Or is it just until somebody starts to catch feelings or wants more, otherwise it goes on indefinitely?

It would definitely not work for me. If I’m spending a good deal of time around a man, it means I at least like him & enjoy his company. I probably even find him attractive. Feelings are going to come, no doubt about it. Other than that, he’s just a platonic buddy – which is not the topic of discussion.

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
10:09 am

DW – I like the monkey-barring, sounds about right.

You’ve found it to be a difficult conversation, PROFFESSOR? I haven’t because I do believe in self-preservation. The times in the past when I agreed to casual and I began to like them as a person too much, I literally told them that. I double checked if they still didn’t want a girlfriend and politely removed em from my contacts list.

KIMMIE, We do talk lots of BS on this and I still don’t get the discrepancy between why it’s okay for folks – let’s just say menfolk- to state their desire to continue monkey-barring – and the woman who’s being allowed to put in months or years alongside him, while HE knows he don’t wanna take her to the next level or SHE know he will only do so under durress – but it’s not okay for us womenfolk to call it out as settling. Why do men get offended when we call a spade a spade?

Oooh did I just break my own run-on record? It’ll be worth it if I can stir up a good battle of the sexes! ;)

SexyCool - The Closer

July 30th, 2009
10:10 am

Bob Dylan, John Mellencamp and Willie Nelson perform at the ampitheatre in Alpharetta this evening. Why do I SO want to go? Anybody got a hook-up on tix? (lol)

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 30th, 2009
10:10 am

Im Back on the soil and feeling well rested and relaxed.

I am INFAMOUS for pulling a “turning off your oxygen” You know where I do just enough to keep you interested but all the while I’m mingling and replacing you. Oh and its done so in the end you can cut me off and I say you broke up with me. While it was in the plans all along..

Page1908

July 30th, 2009
10:15 am

The problem with people saying they “just want companionship” and nothing more, is this in my opinion…coming from a woman’s perspective, of course, in these type of situations, when the man says this, more often than not, he really wants all of the things that come with a relationship, such as companionshiop, sex, spending time together, spending the night, going out on dates, etc, but doesn’t want the committment or the title of being exclusive. To me, I see the term “companionship” as “friends”. Meaning, we may talk occasionally and maybe even go out once in a blue moon and that’s it.

One of my guy friends told me recently that he just wants companionship only because he is focusing on school. He said it’s hard for him to find that on the dating scene. So, I said “ok with all of the single women here, why do you think that is”? He said he didn’t know. So, I asked him what his definition of companionship is, and he said “you know…just hanging out, going places”. The I said, “what about sex? Do you want to have sex with her”? And he was like “yeah, of course! I mean if I am spending MY time with her, then yes, I expect to have sex”! I’m like “so, ok, you want all of those things, PLUS sex, but this person is not good enough to make a committment to”? Good luck finding that, buddy!

I guess what I am really trying to say is that a lot of the times, the word “companionship” is just a nice way of saying “I don’t want anything serious with you and I don’t want to make a committment to you, but at the same time, I do want to have all of the other aspects of an actual committed relationship”.

Page1908

July 30th, 2009
10:16 am

OMG sorry for the long post. I think that was my first long post ever! *Totally rad*.

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
10:17 am

KIMMIE One guy I reminded him that he said he didn’t want a relationship, so I hadn’t considered it. But he was demanding relationship typ-o-thangs from me. Check Ins, ETA, dinner, tricks in addition to treats… I gave him the opportunity to verbalize why that was… i.e. he had changed his mind so I could see if I’d change mine. He couldn’t or wouldn’t, so I had to reject that. It was for the best because conversations about his ex let me know his resolution to situations/arguments was to go along with whatever shut her up but then he was bitter with her for ‘making him’such n such…

SexyCool - The Closer

July 30th, 2009
10:18 am

I think if anything, I have found some difficulty (not on my part) in ending non-relationships when someone comes along that you want to focus on.

You know letting a person know that you are not as available to them as you once were, that they can no longer pick up the phone and call you at midnight just to talk or that you won’t be available for your usual Sunday afternoon patio lunch.

The other party can make it awkward.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 30th, 2009
10:19 am

I also throw a “I want you back” in there for good measure so we can be friends later. I find that women feel better about being the dumper instead of the dumpee. She will be able to tell her friends Girl see he wants me back, he messed up and I have moved on. Once this happens she feels like she is in control and we can move forward and be friends, because the scorn has been minimized.

Professor...in a great space

July 30th, 2009
10:23 am

@My two…I find the conversation awkward if dude is feeling me and wanting more, because I am candid in stating my desires upfront, so I always check myself because I feel like I misled him. I do know I am a bit of a flirt so I always hope that I did not lead him on thinking more of me was available. Now on the flip side if I find myself wanting more the conversation is cool because I have the gift of goodbye I will keep it moving if I develop feelings and he is not available to give more. I guess that is how the cookie crumbles, huh?.

@Pretty wings I agree with your post.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)

July 30th, 2009
10:24 am

See, we’ve talked a lot of BS on this subject, but bottom line it is a hard thing to pull off successfully. No matter how careful & upfront you are, unless the 2 of you are of the EXACT same mindset, somebody usually gets hurt!

Sometimes this happens and it’s unfortunate that someone gets hurt….especially if “relations” are involved b/c that definitely changes things with some people.

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
10:24 am

We’re on the same PAGE 1908 of this tired azz Non-Relationship book lol Except the spend the night part. Most of them think that if they don’t let the dawn catch em cuddled up, it’ll somehow curtail your emotional attachment.

INFAMOUS WHY???????????? WHY do y’all think that is some kind of brilliant strategy? We already know what you’re doing and it pisses us off that you all weren’t man enough to just throw deuces. Well, us smart ones, and I am confident you don’t like the dumb-dums. The spend the night thing to. You are now tasked wiht answering from all men, since you’re so much of a man hahaaaaa

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
10:27 am

Page – Imma AMEN your 10:15! See, this is how things get messed up – in my book a companion is a buddy, not a FWB! In fact, I think that is a big part of the problem with these non-relationships – everyone has a different definition of what one exactly entails!

SCool – Your 10:18 highlights another issue with these non-relationships!

Why don’t we call these non-relationships what they are – Friends With Benefits?

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
10:30 am

PRETTY WINGS You’re preachin’ bout life, so say that!

DK I tried to limit it to Infamous. But the ‘I want you back’ forces me to revert to the FILTHY VILLANOUS label that I ♥ 4 U. Just so much more appropos :razz:

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
10:31 am

DK – When you gonna grow up man & come up with some new mack moves? Most of us caught on to that mess in high school!LOL!!!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)

July 30th, 2009
10:38 am

Why do men get offended when we call a spade a spade?

Mytwo for some reason they still think we’re just not supposed to be up on game….but I’ve told ‘em before and will tell ‘em again “game recognizes game all day” and they never believe me until they make that Lisa Lunchmeat mistake….thinking I’m slow or rode the short bus to school.

Once this happens she feels like she is in control and we can move forward and be friends, because the scorn has been minimized.

Why play games?…if you want out then man up and say so….and why would a woman want to remain friends with someone who chose to play games instead of being upfront about what’s going on? Buut if it works for you then by all means do you.

Professor I experienced what you posted in your 10:23 a few times and luckily it’s always ended amicably.

Mo (aka Moeisha-)

July 30th, 2009
10:39 am

Well I see the ladies are holding it down today.

SCool – I agree with your 10:18. How do you break-up with someone that you arent really with? As you stated, you find someone you want to focus on and now telling your no-relationship companion that you arent as available is a bit awkward.

Professor – I dont feel bad if a dude is feeling me more and I have to step away only b/c, like you, I make my intentions known upfront. So if you start to catch feelings then I cant feel bad per se b/c you knew what the deal was. Now the same goes for me, if I start catching feelings knowing you dont want a committment then I will back off. We all make a choice in those situations.

INFAMOUS – whats good man, lone dude holding it down today huh?

abc

July 30th, 2009
10:44 am

I suppose from a typical man’s perspective, what it’d take to inspire and motivate a desire for commitment is a chick that he wants to be his exclusively. If she requires that exclusivity to be a two-way street, bingo, you have commitment.

If he doesn’t want that exclusivity from her, or if she doesn’t require it to be mutual, then a typical man won’t have much to motivate him toward commitment.

I suppose that could go both ways, for men and women alike.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
10:48 am

abc – So are you saying that everyone WANTS commitment? Those that say they don’t just have not met the right person?

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)

July 30th, 2009
10:50 am

Most of them think that if they don’t let the dawn catch em cuddled up, it’ll somehow curtail your emotional attachment.

INFAMOUS WHY???????????? WHY do y’all think that is some kind of brilliant strategy? We already know what you’re doing and it pisses us off that you all weren’t man enough to just throw deuces.

Mytwo you betta preach then!…but why is that? I mean do men really think these old azz tricks really work?…don’t insult my intelligence…..just like Mytwo said, throw the deuces and keep it moving shyt we all grown.

Page1908

July 30th, 2009
10:51 am

Kimmie and My2- Exactly. It’s crazy. An older lady friend of mine I used to work with back in like 2003 was dating a guy here in Atlanta. Well, this was when I was still in San Diego, and so was she. So she said dude in Atlanta was her bf and I was like “ok he lives in Atlanta and he is dating you in SAN DIEGO”? come on! So, long story short, she dealt with him for 2 years and then one day she emailed me and said she had enough. She said “i got tired of him getting what he wanted and I never got what I wanted, which was a committment”. I was like good for you.

The other day my ex from San Diego like back in 1998 sent me a FR on FB and I was like omg, I couldn’t believe it. We chatted for a while just talking about the old days on the dating scence. Back then, I don’t remember anyone saying “yeah I just want companionship”. Back then, it was like you met people at school or work or through friends, or out or wherever, then it was like ok, you like me, i like you, we are in a relationship. That was it. There was no online sites, speed dating, blogging, texting, etc. I think the internet was in, but it wasn’t big and back then it was dial-up lol. The most we did was send texts on pagers lol.

Now, this new scence of dating has become more complicated with all of the definitions, codes, limitations, etc. It’s like everyone wants EVERYTHING but do not want to put in ANYTHING to get it. That’s the part I don’t understand. We need to treat our relationships like we treat our jobs.

Biatch Pleeze

July 30th, 2009
10:58 am

If you women are so up on game why are you letting it be ran on you? Why don’t you throw the deuce up yourself? A woman will always try to find a way to make herself look good in a breakup situation. “I already knew what you were doing”, “I knew you were flipping the script”. Just another way to save face. It is what it is.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
11:04 am

A woman will always try to find a way to make herself look good in a breakup situation.

So what’s wrong with that? I don’t see the issue? It’s all a game and if one chooses to play along and let you THINK you ran game, what’s the harm?

And do we have to resort to namecalling? It hurts to know your game is wack, doesn’t it?LOL!!!!

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
11:08 am

BIATCH PLEEZE Perhaps if you dealt with women you didn’t consider biatches or weren’t one yourself, you could grasp the concept of how one could live & learn. Now go back, read Pretty Wings and Have a sunshiney day!

Biatch Pleeze

July 30th, 2009
11:09 am

To the victor go the spoils while the loser is making themselves “look good”.

Biatch Pleeze

July 30th, 2009
11:15 am

Only the biatches respond, us real women recognize “game” before stepping on the playing field and do not get involved.

The Real Rell - one man wolfpack!!

July 30th, 2009
11:17 am

lol…game recongize game…women dont have game….only way a women can get game is from a man…not your girlfriends…lol…you dont ish until we show you the play….i agree with biatch pleeazee..lol

Pretty Wings

July 30th, 2009
11:17 am

@ Kimmiie LMAO

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
11:17 am

SASSAFRASS I’m just sayin’… if s/he’s yearning for you, it’ll happen whether the person is there in the flesh or not… Folks are overthinkin it. Just speak plainly and have no worries.

kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!

July 30th, 2009
11:20 am

Page – This kind of “flakey” dating thing, folks wanting something for nothing, people stringing folk along, waiting until something better comes along – has been going on since the beginning. It didn’t just start because of the internet either. When we all were young & innocent or in college & all it was going on, it just didn’t have a lable.

The Real Rell - one man wolfpack!!

July 30th, 2009
11:22 am

Perhaps if you dealt with women

- for some reason some of you ladies think you are different then the rest..lol….its just funny how elistist you can be….we all have been duped….ok….we did not recongize game…we got had…we were wearing the sucker on our heads…get off it….

Pretty Wings

July 30th, 2009
11:23 am

@Rell- Game Recognize Game Huh? That is looking real familar. What’s this, homies ova hoe’s day?

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 30th, 2009
11:24 am

Ha ha!!! This is funny.. The reason it still works is because ya’ll dont ever want to look bad in a situation. No one talks about it when women do it.. I’m just honest enough to say it.. Not one woman has womaned up and said she has done it before. Ya’ll are the masters of dropping a bomb on a dude. Ya’ll know months maybe years before ya’ll gonna break up with a dude but will string him along as long as you can. I only do what ya’ll do. Ya’ll always talk about dudes running games but nobody ever talks about women running games.. Cause ya’ll do. Ya’ll just stick together and make it seem like its always our faults when ya’ll are extra slick and greasy. Heck one of my favorite lines came from women.. Do you have a Girlfriend? No but I am dating.. I love that one and the look on a womans face is priceless when they hear it. Oh its going down today ya’ll.. Lets get it..

East Point's Own

July 30th, 2009
11:24 am

mytw♥cents @ your 10:09 post I think its wrong for either sex to create a “monkey barring situation” I say let go of one relationship before starting another… But as far as folks staying in “open ended relationships” from a man’s point of view if we say ” I don’t want to be in a relationship now or with you” and the woman sticks around we feel like we have done our duty, we gave the woman the chance to go on her merry way… now if she decides to stick around for years after that we don’t see it as out fault because we told her up fron… even if it was 2 years ago that we did not want to go there. Sometimes women assume that after we have been seeing each other a few months that the relationship has morphed into something greater.. while men say things are the same as before until one of us verbally changes the rules.
http://hispointofview.com/2009/07/groundhogs-day/

mytw♥cents...Electric Relaxation

July 30th, 2009
11:26 am

BP You’re clearly simple minded or think others are if you wanna go down the road of claiming to have been born knowing it all. And for you to be a woman, calling other women that off top speaks volumes.

RELL … OK… You’re allowed to learn things along the way, or from others, but women aren’t? OK…

I wish y’all had more joy in your lives.

Pretty Wings

July 30th, 2009
11:26 am

Note: There are No Damsels in Distress……..The real one’s keep it moving. Have a great day!

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 30th, 2009
11:29 am

Pretty Wings – Thats the problem Cats need to get back to Bros before Ohs because all this pillow talk is killing game.

Kimmie – You actually think you can get an abbreviated version of this good stuff and understand it. No babe this is tip of the Iceberg and I’m way more complex than I can write about and also way more charming than I lead on, in my writings..

Fan

July 30th, 2009
11:30 am

I’ve been reading these posts for months now. Always interesting … but never really felt the need to chime in. Today, however, I’d like to share something I’ve learned from experience (I’ve been on both sides of this issue), and I hope fellow readers find it helpful.

NEVER LET SOMEONE BE YOUR PRIORITY WHEN YOU ARE ONLY THEIR OPTION.

Be very careful of getting close to someone who is not of like mind as to what your relationship goals are, morals, faith, family, etc. Sometimes we allow initial attraction (sparks, chemistry whatever you want to call it)to cloud our good judgement and cause us to gamble. That’s all fine and good until someone gets hurt because they were hoping things would change.

Simply put, I believe honesty is the best way to get through this type situation. The two of you may eventually decide to commit, but if you should part at least there’s a good chance you’ll gain a lasting friendship and learn something from the experience.

Have a Great Thursday : )

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 30th, 2009
11:32 am

A old man told me once the one thing you want to do with your woman is come to an understanding and everything else will fall into place.. Thats what I believe cause when you come to an understanding there aint no room for lies and BS because the groundwork has been laid.