Testing, Testing
Whether he is a player or a great guy, some men have a way of screening women to qualify her, so to speak. From the moment they spot her the initial screening test begins. He is really curious about her and wants to know what she is about and what caliber of woman she is.
The information they gather through their random tests help them determine different things about the woman. Things such as her desperation level, her patience, her perception, her inhabitations, even her “sanity”.
Now, I am not knocking the men for their pre-relationship/marriage screening tests. I believe that there are just some things men need to be sure about before they give up their bachelor lifestyle and freedom. I have experienced a few male tests in my dating career. Some I failed miserably, and some I passed.
Ladies, chime in with any dating tests you have administered or experienced on/with men. Guys, tell us about the tests that women have put you through.
How do you know when your “dating performance” is being rated?
Do you think these dating tests are helpful or harmful? What mistakes do men and women make with date tests?
One challenge in the dating scene is getting useful feedback. If there are areas of improvement, how do we convey this to one another? Should we even try to give feedback?
How many of us are conducting date/mate tests right now?
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109 comments Add your comment
M'
July 29th, 2009
1:02 pm
@kimmie
LMAO chirl…well he had no rings on his fingers…lol…my BP was not so high that I was BLIND…fool that I am…but he is a bit young…I may be as old as his mother…lol…oh, oh snap cougar tendencies…but PHINE as he is I do not think that I really care…in fact, most of the brothers in that station are good looking men…today I am at 150/100…and I have to keep the daily journal for the next 2 weeks…oh yeah.
Raqi
July 29th, 2009
1:17 pm
It is amazingly quiet in here. I actually expected the total opposite with WiseDiva not being on guard. Trully surprising.
M'
July 29th, 2009
1:25 pm
@Raqi
I was thinking the same thing…what happened to e’erbody????
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
1:28 pm
today I am at 150/100
M I am glad you mentioned that. I have been in sort of a blue funk since after eating lunch I was wondering why. After reading your post I checked my blood sugar level.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
1:30 pm
I don’t know M is kind of strange. When Diva is looking on folks tend to want to jump right in and change the topic, but now that she is not here it’s dead.
Do you think they just like messing with her in changing her topics??? LOL
M'
July 29th, 2009
1:34 pm
@Raqi
Cool…I am hoping that this is a short term issue for me…I have been like 120-130 over 70-80 for years…this just started last year while I was still in the VA…and next week it may be my normal level again…so, I am going to put more walking back in my schedule b/c that really changed when I was in VA…lol…there are some obvious health benefits to being on MARTA.
M'
July 29th, 2009
1:39 pm
Seems like it is just you and me…lol…and the topic always changes…it goes with the program…sometimes there are several topic changes going on at once…but this has been a low post blog today….hmmmm
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
1:42 pm
I have never really had issues with my BP. Mason had an elevated BP at his last check up so I have been trying to make an effort to cook with less salt and he tries to exercise a little more. Some evenings after dinner we put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk. That’s beneficial to us all.
I think everyone may probably be over in ChaPan. I noticed a lot of new names over there when I peeked in yesterday from when I was commenting there regularly. That could be them.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
1:44 pm
LOL So you and I could pretty much talk about anything. I could probably post my government name, SS#, bank accounts and home address and still be safe it’s so dead in here.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 29th, 2009
1:52 pm
It’s been dead in here all week.
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
July 29th, 2009
1:52 pm
“So you and I could pretty much talk about anything. I could probably post my government name, SS#, bank accounts and home address and still be safe it’s so dead in here.”
You’re absolutely right, Raqi. Your conversation is totally private — I suggest you talk about naughty girl-stuff. The more detail the better. No one is listening… it’s all cool…
M'
July 29th, 2009
1:53 pm
What is ChaPan??
Well, I have a fairly decent diet…and I do low sodium cooking and when I do use salt, I prefer sea salt…but I am going to make some adjustments b/c I do not want to be bound to a pill for it the rest of my life.
Page1908
July 29th, 2009
2:12 pm
@ M- maybe you should try Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar to get your bp down. It’s $2.99 at the health food store and is considered a “miracle cure” for many conditions including high bp. I swear by it. I take 2 tablespoons a day every day. Back in November 2006 my dr. told me that my bp wasn’t high, but slightly higher than what they like to see in a 30 yr old woman. She said that if it got higher I would have to beging taking bp meds. Man, that scared me straight! I got online and talked to people and found out about ACV and started taking it. 2 months later, I had dropped 15 pounds and get this, when she checked my bp she was like “wow, i can’t believe this! How did you get your bp down so much so quickly? Your bp and other bloodwork is better than mine”!
Jamoca's - Taken to the Top of the World
July 29th, 2009
2:14 pm
Cause lovin’ you has made my life so beautiful, And every day my life is filled with lovin’ you
Lovin’ you i see your soul come shinin’ through, And every time that we oooooh…I’m more in love with you
La la la la la-la la la la la-la la la la laaa
la-la la la la… do do do do do dooo….
(now as I bust the windows, while hittin’ this high note)
Haaaaaaa-aaaaaahhhh-aaaaahhh-aaaaahhhh-aaahhh-aaaahhhhhhhh
ON TOPIC
Yes, I prefer “the natural order” of things over “being tested”…however, I do expect that the man would observe how I’d normally handle a particular scenario…to include my demeanor, disposition etc…and that part does not bother me so much. Just because he may not go out of his way to single handedly (sp?) create the situation, does not mean that I’m not being “tested” IMO. I expect the man to have standards to a certain degree. And by making a mental note to himself based on his observations sounds to me like he’s judging my reactions (if any) of how well I not only interact with others, but how well I maintain my composure and/or express myself in particular settings.
I just think it works both ways. While he’s checkin’ me, I’m more than likely checkin’ him. How else do we decide if an individual is the best match for us? A test is a test…whether or not it’s administered directly or vicariously in natural everyday living. Not that big of a deal to me…however the only exception to that is if the man has trust issues. Then it’s a no-go.
Otherwise…I have much bigger fish to fry than to get my tailfeathers ruffled over the person making simply observations. JMO
…you all must’ve ran out of refreshments in here…it’s so quiet I’d swear you can hear a group of mice pyssin’ on cotton
Oh
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:17 pm
M my friend Doc said that it is not so much of what you eat but how you cook it. I try to do the right thing for the most part but every now and then we cheat. I sometimes like to cook desserts and I have been trying a few out with equal or honey instead of sugar. Some stuff just has to have real sugar. LOL Almost every day I think about cooking something but I fight that urge because I know I will regret it in a couple of months. Sitting here pretty much all day eating pies, cookies and cheesecakes that I have cooked…Oh No.
M'
July 29th, 2009
2:24 pm
@Page
Thanks…I will get some…I am not in a critical state but I do not want it to get worse…I see if I can find it at Return to Eden or Sevananda.
@Raqi
Yes, that is true…it is more about how you prepare the food…I do not eat much fried food…I prefer to steam, bake, broil or grill most of my meat items…and I like to use high fiber grains for my breads, rices, pastas and cereals…and I also like to cook fresh vegetables when I can, either steamed or sauteed in EVOO…but I am a smoker and that does not help me much either…lol…and I heard an earful from the firefighter and the doctor yesterday about that…so I really need to add quitting to my agenda real soon.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 29th, 2009
2:25 pm
Page – Several people I know use the ACV! I bought a bottle years ago – don’t have a BP problem at all, but wanted to use it for weight control and overall health. I fell off the wagon – need to get back on!
M'
July 29th, 2009
2:27 pm
ACV???????
Page1908
July 29th, 2009
2:31 pm
Yeah, Kimmie, the ACV is so great. Someone told me it’s in that book called “cure’s they don’t want you to know about” or something like that. It is good for so many things you know. It’s amazing what information we don’t know.
M- ACV is short for apple cider vinegar.
Wise Diva
July 29th, 2009
2:33 pm
I think that topic changing theory has wings LOL, I’m on the beach wondering why I don’t live here! I feel so at home
mytw♥cents
July 29th, 2009
2:34 pm
Why test when you can simply PAY ATTENTION?
My friends came out to Crazy in Love at their reception a few years ago. It was hot. Then this couple whose wedding I planned thought about Ne-yo’s You Make Me Better but opted against.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:37 pm
I heard that ACV should not be consumed over a long period of time. I can’t remember why but that’s what I heard.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:39 pm
I’m on the beach wondering why I don’t live here!
WiseDiva I am glad you are having a nice time. I need a vacation from sitting at home every day. LOL
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:42 pm
M’ How is it you cook healthy then turn around and suck on a cancer stick? Girl put those things down.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 29th, 2009
2:43 pm
Raqi – If taken straight over a long period it can erode tooth enamel & cause acid reflux. The solution to that is to dilute it in water & you’ll be fine.
M'
July 29th, 2009
2:49 pm
@Raqi
Right…lol…well I started the bloody habit when I was like 16 or so…and by 18 it was a serious habit…and a hard one to break…but I actually changed my cooking style due to digestive disorders that were causing me problems more than really trying to eat more healthy…lol…but this last price increase has me cussing myself out every time I buy a pack of smokes…eventually, I may make myself mad enough to quit…lol
Tazzee - countdown to Pensacola Beach
July 29th, 2009
2:51 pm
Afternoon folks!
I shared that wedding link on my FB page…that brought a great big smile to my face.
Don’t like tests and don’t give them. Like others have said, I prefer the natural order of things. With ‘time and pressure’ all will be revealed.
Wise Diva – I’m jealous of you on the beach right now, I’ll be there in a little over one week. Have fun getting kissed by the sun.
OK, so I’m going to keep my godson overnight for the first time this Friday. My 13 yr old nephew is staying the night too but I’m still scared of keeping a toddler for over 12 hours….
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:51 pm
Vicky is having an awesome sale. I think I may run by her house tomorrow and pick some things.
I might just pick up a couple of bathing suits and test them out with my present post birth body.
Lord Velonese
July 29th, 2009
2:51 pm
My tests are designed not to be passed. I will not explain my methods either; I don’t want women to have more ammo on luring or taking advantage of lesser men.
Page1908
July 29th, 2009
2:51 pm
lmao @ “pack of smokes”.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
2:53 pm
16????.
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
July 29th, 2009
2:59 pm
D@mn. Just d@mn. Okay, my only question is: Who’s pitching & who’s catching? Yikes….
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
3:05 pm
Sometimes the look in this baby’s eyes seems to be saying “Lady, one day imma give you hell!!!”
M'
July 29th, 2009
3:07 pm
@Raqi
Yeah 16…just one dumb move…I do not even remember if I did it to be “cool” or out of rebellion…regardless, it is one of the dumbest decisions that I ever made…but, now that I need to have my BP checked everyday and the firefighters at the station will do it for me to help me keep a log…I feel guilty…lol…but I really do b/c even the sister who took it today spoke with me about it…so maybe the positive reinforcement from them and my guilt may serve as a good motivation…coupled with me calling myself some ignorant names when I pay these outrageous prices for a death stick…hmmm, I wonder if it will impress Mr. Phine Firefighter if I quit….lol
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
3:09 pm
Swiss where in the world do they…??? Nevermind, I know. Columbia S.C.
Raqi...Mildly Hyperglycemic
July 29th, 2009
3:12 pm
M’ try cinnamon sticks. One day my husband’s friend came over the house and he had a cinnamon stick in his mouth just like a cigarette. I asked him why and he said he is trying to stop smoking. The harshness of the cinnamon mimics the
cancer stickcigarette. I think that’s what he said.Tazzee - countdown to Pensacola Beach
July 29th, 2009
3:13 pm
Okay, my only question is: Who’s pitching & who’s catching? Yikes…
Buggery???
Raqi
July 29th, 2009
3:17 pm
Tazzee a little on that toddler thing. Very little sugary snacks. Very little. And be careful because juice contains a lot of sugar just like sodas. Get the Mott’s for Tots. It has way less sugar than the regular stuff.
However if you want to be chasing a little one around the house at midnight trying to get him to settle down, ignore my tip.
Tazzee - countdown to Pensacola Beach
July 29th, 2009
3:29 pm
Raqi He’s a water and apple juice drinker. I’ll have to get that Motts for Tots. My nephew will keep him company, but I’m nervous around kids. I don’t even have a table for him to sit down to eat, so we’ll be going out for dinner Friday when I pick him up and hitting up a breakfast spot Saturday morning.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 29th, 2009
3:36 pm
M’ – Yes it will impress him!
Can you go cold turkey? If you can make it 30 days you can beat it. Can you do the patch or nicotine gum or is that contraindicated with your BP issue? My dad started at 15, but had to go cold turkey when he had a stroke at 70. It was H dealing with him, but sure enough after 30 days he beat it and he was so proud! He never smoked another after that.
M'
July 29th, 2009
3:40 pm
@Raqi
I have this strange feeling that when I quit it will be cold turkey…I did not think that I could do it that way…but something says that I will…one day, I am just gona make up my mind and walk away from it…just like I started it…btw, I like cinnamon sticks…lol.
Lurky lurked
July 29th, 2009
3:43 pm
Silence means it is 2 hot in the cesspool. The concubines and master is hiding out. Lord V I know who you are liar
M'
July 29th, 2009
3:48 pm
@kimmie
No, I am not on the patch or any nicotine substitute product…it only takes 3 days to get the nicotine out of the system…the psychological and emotional ishes is another Oprah show…lol…but I honestly do feel guilty having these wonderful ppl at Station 29 making themselves available to my best interest…they were so very wonderful yesterday.
I went to the Chevron across the street…I have been having some serious headaches the last few weeks…almost a month or more (not my sinus ishes)…so my head was throbbing and I went to the station next to the Chevron to have my BP check…they were so attentive and then they became very concerned when it was so high…they immediately decided to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital b/c they did not want me to take the bus/train…I needed to come back and freshen meself up…lol…well, when I was not back in 30 minutes…they were calling as I walked back to the station…called the ambulance…they really took very good care of me and were so sincerely concerned…I think that I owe it to them to really put quitting in my best interest too…they risk their lives everyday for us…and I am taking my own one puff at a time…yes, I see the irony in that dumbness…funny, sometimes all it takes is someone to really care about our best interest, invest in it and it makes us see what we need to really commit to doing for our own selves.
mytw♥cents
July 29th, 2009
3:52 pm
LORD V methinks you need like 5♥♥ HUGS
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 29th, 2009
3:55 pm
funny, sometimes all it takes is someone to really care about our best interest, invest in it and it makes us see what we need to really commit to doing for our own selves.
So true. And so comforting to know that you have people around that care and will look out for you! I have the best neighbors in the world around me too and I have their backs as well.
It takes a village for everyone, not just kids!
main lurker
July 29th, 2009
3:55 pm
no times for games in “tryna” figure anything out….I live by the motto, listen, listen, listen, pay attention and listen. We have two ears and one mouth for listening twice as much as we speak.
M'
July 29th, 2009
3:59 pm
@Kimmie
yeah…I think that they call that village…COMMUNITY…uh-huh…we can not exist outside of some sort of community…it is what bonds our spiritual being to our secular identity…it gives us a substance of faith, hope and being beyond the “I”…”me”…it is an essential needs hierarchy requirement…COMMUNITY.
Lurky lurked
July 29th, 2009
4:02 pm
Flush the toliet
Leggs
July 29th, 2009
4:07 pm
@Raqi, that’s funny cuz every time I would hold my baby in my arms at that age I use to tell myself she’s looking at me saying “I sure hope you do right by me and not drop me.”
main lurker
July 29th, 2009
4:20 pm
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