Light-Switch Moments
I was reading about NBA player, Richard Jefferson’s canceled wedding not long after a reader sent me an article about men and their light-switch moments. The author says that some men have light-switch moments when they just sort of suddenly realize that the woman they are dating is the one.
It seems like the light-switch moments happen pretty organically. It’s not because a women coerced or manipulated him, or strong-armed him into marriage. So a man’s decision to get engaged kind of feels like a light-switch moment when the light-bulb comes on, and he is ready to make the move.
I wondered if Richard Jefferson had a light-switch “off” button? When men figure out the woman of his dreams is closer to the nightmare, does it happen in the same way?
Guys, if you have ever proposed or thought of proposing, did it feel like a light-switch moment? Did you just suddenly see that it was the right time and the right woman? What about when you realized you needed to break up with someone? Was there a light-switch moment when you thought, “Oh, no. Time to go”
Ladies, do you find that the men you are meeting and dating want to get married? Have you ever dated a man and witnessed a light-switch moment? Did he behave differently after that? Have you ever had a light-switch moment with a man when you realized that he was the man of your dreams? How did you handle it?
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144 comments Add your comment
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
2:24 pm
Kym
I agree with 6 to 8 months. Then about 60 to 90 days consecutive leading up to the test itself. In that last month, do at least 2 practice tests a week. It’ll get you used to the length of the test. So, that would mean that if you start now, it probably would be best to take the December test. You might be able to take the October one, but that would be pushing it a bit.
As far as prep, I used the Kaplan CD rom that you can buy in Barnes & Noble, Waldenbooks, Borders, etc. It is way cheaper than the course, and it teaches the same principles. It schedules practice test for you. It was about 35.00 when I bought it a few years back.
You can always buy a book of old tests from LSAC too. Practice, practice, practice.
The classes really just give you one more resource for help than the CD-Rom does. It gives you a live person who has experience with its method.
Good luck.
The thing is that I just gave all that LSAT stuff away to an organization that provides those resources to minorities aspiring to get a legal education. If you’d asked before July 18th, I could have forwarded you my old stuff.
Are you still thinking about sending the son to boarding school? If so, that might be best time to go forward with that legal education. My first year was pure hell on wheels. I lived at the library when I wasn’t at work.
Blasted legal research, writing and analysis will drive you to drink Kool-Aid with no sugar or water.
AmazonRed™ - it's already a grrrreat day!
July 27th, 2009
2:26 pm
My pride and “big ego” would never allow that. I am NO ONE’S second/after thought.
Sassy – A lot of people have “the one who got away” in their lives, whether they let others know or not. Are those people just supposed to stay single forever? Sometimes you just gotta face reality and move on with your life.
Does this mean you’ll never date a widow?
Demi
July 27th, 2009
2:29 pm
Elijah…Sure!! You may have all of my VIP passes for: Blue Flame, blazes, Foxy, Pin-up, Pink Pony..Demi is now has tears rolling down his eyes.Shooters…that mexican spot on Bulford hwy..Demi is now boohoo crying..MAGIC CIIIIITY…AND STROKERS!!!!!
Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
2:30 pm
Kimmie/Sassy….nope she doesn’t know. I mean they seem to be a cool couple and the ying to each other’s yang so, I don’t make any assessements from the outward appearance. I must say though because they could really give a stab at being couple of the year, I was suprised my ownself at that confession.
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
2:36 pm
If I can add, I have mad mad respect for him though because he’s always saying something really positive about her….the wife.
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 27th, 2009
2:41 pm
@Poppa G yeah I am thinking that since the son is highschool bound it would be the best time to start. Boarding school is still up in the air..he showed his Aries horns this year and floundered a bit. But he shall get back on track.
Boarding school or not I think this is the best time to get started. I will finish the Paralegal coursework in December..yippie. So I am thinking Jan until June study and shoot for October testing. When I took the previous test I had the LSAT Logic Reasoning bible and Reading Comp(graciously given by a wonderful person) but they have changed the test a bit. So I will grab the new stuff and buy a few test from LSAT.
Demi
July 27th, 2009
2:46 pm
Page1908…I was trying to hang with them tall brothers in the drinking department…I should have just stay my short behind in my lane…two double shots of 1800 and two hiennys…I was done!!
Demi
July 27th, 2009
2:49 pm
main lurker…wow, sounds like the both of them are putting in a lot of work, to make their relationship seem effordless.
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 27th, 2009
2:50 pm
Main lurker – Sometimes the grass always looks greener too. He does not know if things would have worked out with “one that got away” or not. He could have dodged a bullet!
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
2:53 pm
main lurker…wow, sounds like the both of them are putting in a lot of work, to make their relationship seem effordless.
yep, they try and do pretty much everything together
Main lurker – Sometimes the grass always looks greener too. He does not know if things would have worked out with “one that got away” or not. He could have dodged a bullet!
Yep, so true. That’s another way to view things.
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
2:54 pm
Kym
Good luck to you.
I wasn’t trying to scare you about the legal writing but it is what it is. Very time consuming.
I have friend that is planning to take it this October. I gave him the spill about the time consumption. So it is just my standard spill.
SexyCool - In the cut...
July 27th, 2009
2:57 pm
We all or have been someone’s second choice whether we know/knew it or not.
We have all made someone our second choice whether intentionally or not.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit is NO ONE'S after thought ... :-)
July 27th, 2009
2:59 pm
Does this mean you’ll never date a widow?
AmRed you’re right about the “one that got away” theory and no I wouldn’t think they’d stay single forever. What I meant was that some people move on to the next when the haven’t gotten over the last and two things(people) cannot occupy the same space(heart) at the same time. Some people know when they’re playing second fiddle to another and some stick around….I wouldn’t.
As for dating a widower, that’s a different situation. Now if he were recently widowed then probable not for reasons mentioned in the afore paragraph…..BUT if he’s been widowed for a while then that’s something I would consider.
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
3:01 pm
One more….my sister and I and a close family friend all worked for the same company a few years back and all got invited to a “get together” by one of the coworkers….mmm mmm mmm…LM…he was mmm mmm mmmm…no words. Anyway, he’d been married I’d say by the maybe 5 years. Well, during the course of a conversation between him and a dude coworker, the dude coworker took one look at his wife and was like, awww man I see why you settled down. He said, naaah, I was just ready. She was at the right place, the right time. Maybe not a light switch moment for her, but I’d say for him.
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
3:04 pm
We all or have been someone’s second choice whether we know/knew it or not. We have all made someone our second choice whether intentionally or not.
Yep, true.
I’d say I’m in a pretty good place relationship wise but I’d definitely say stockbroker was the one that got away…
SexyCool - In the cut...
July 27th, 2009
3:05 pm
And it’s not a good or a bad thing…it just is what it is.
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 27th, 2009
3:07 pm
@Poppa G not scared at all. All I can do is give it my best shot. Heck I wasn’t sure about this paralegal stuff until I tried..(still not so sure) but I have trained my focus a bit on working for the government. I saw some pretty cool jobs with the Feds so I am like what the heck might as well get the whole shibang if I can. Nothing beats a failure but a try.
Liz
July 27th, 2009
3:10 pm
Enter your comments here
Lurky lurked
July 27th, 2009
3:19 pm
I see all those cesspool orgyy freakies are scared to blog today BAD Day
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
3:19 pm
Good Afternoon All!
@ Sexy Cool – Your 2:57 was on point!
Lord Velonese
July 27th, 2009
3:20 pm
I have only three speeds, Piss off, I hate you, or now I going to do everything in my power to make your life a living hell. Choose wisely for I will not be held responsible for the out come, you’ve been warned…..
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
3:20 pm
Kym</strong.
The other thing that I preach is to research the schools.
For example, since you want to work gov’t you may want to try Georgia State or UGA.
Private schools like Emory or Mercer, might make it really tough for you to repay your loans. I have a friend that wanted to work in the Federal gov’t, but he went to Vanderbilt for law. With that amount of debt, he wasn’t able to do the federal job route. (He is a partner at a huge firm here now).
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
3:24 pm
Although I really don’t think it matters if you are the 1, 2nd or 3rd choice, the real question is were you the right choice.
The Late Bishop GE Patterson would stand whenever his wife walked into the room….this went on even after they had been married for over 30years……..So the real issue is growing love…….love that never stops taking shape is real love to me.
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
3:28 pm
Can You Stand the Rain”
On a perfect day
I know that I can count on you
When that’s not possible
Tell me, can you weather the storm
Cause I need somebody who will stand by me
Through the good times and bad times
She will always, always be right there
[Chorus: ]
Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me
Can you stand the rain
Storms will come
This we know for sure
Can you stand the rain
Love unconditional
I’m not asking this of you
We’ve got to make it last
I’ll do whatever needs to be done
Cause I need somebody who will stand by me
When it’s time she won’t run
She will always, always be right there
[Chorus]
Can you stand the rain [4 times]
No pressure, no pressure from me baby
Cause I want you
And I need you
And I love you
Will you be there for me
Can you stand the rain [6 times]
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 27th, 2009
3:33 pm
@Poppa G GA State is my top choice(part-time and I got my undergrad there) I know the program is hard to get into. Not sure if alot of people know this but the Feds do have a loan-forgiveness program for public service workers(another reason I am considering gov’t service) It started in 2007…here is the link.. http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/publications/student_guide/2009-2010/english/loancancellation.htm
It may not be for everyone but since I already work in public service and would like to stay in that field it works out great for me.
Turd Ferguson
July 27th, 2009
3:33 pm
Beauty is only a light-switch away.
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
3:34 pm
Although I really don’t think it matters if you are the 1, 2nd or 3rd choice, the real question is were you the right choice.
That was worth repeating.
If you are Christian, you should know that pride is one of the seven deadly sins. Letting pride keep you from a blessing that you are supposed to receive isn’t very wise.
By doing that, you are allowing pride to block what could be a blessing.
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
3:41 pm
Although I really don’t think it matters if you are the 1, 2nd or 3rd choice, the real question is were you the right choice.
…..and another “yep”
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
3:42 pm
@Poppa Grand – How did you know you had made the right choice?
Lioness-
July 27th, 2009
3:46 pm
PG- Letting pride keep you from a blessing that you are supposed to receive isn’t very wise.<–AMEN!!!!
SexyCool - In the cut...
July 27th, 2009
3:50 pm
My opinion is that when you are in a relationship, every day, you are choosing that person. So, it’s not a one time choice, it is a continual choice.
You are saying every day, “I choose you.”
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
3:52 pm
Hey Lioness! Pride would not keep me from him,but his inability to make a decision would.
Demi
July 27th, 2009
3:57 pm
I am OUT!!!!
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 27th, 2009
4:04 pm
Pride would not keep me from him,but his inability to make a decision would.
Pretty Wings – I agree – not sitting around for years waiting on anyone to have their “lightbulb moment”!
I’m not silly with the pride thing – being that my SO is a widower I know I’m not his first love. In fact, very few of us are with our first loves, like what SCool said. But I DO know that I would not stand to be TREATED like 2nd choice, or leftovers! That’s where the “pride” would come in with me.
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
4:10 pm
Pretty Wings
How did you know you had made the right choice?
LOL…You would ask me that today. She danced all on that last nerve over the weekend.
Anyways….I don’t recall a light switch moment for the wife. It was a gradual thing.
However, like the other guys, I have had light switch moments when it wasn’t the female was the one.
We didn’t force something to be there that wasn’t. Things just happened on their natural pace. We supported each other in his/her endeavors but we let each still live our lives.
We both are very competitive (she was a gymnast) so many folks have wondered how we have made it work. (She might be tad more competitive as I’ve found out on air hockey at D&Bs)
Respect is there and it is mutual.
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
4:10 pm
@Sexy Cool – Yes!
Mo (aka Moeisha-)
July 27th, 2009
4:17 pm
SCool – That last post……on point chica….
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
4:18 pm
Hey Kimmie- Imma need that light bulb to be a energy saver as well, meaning no drama!
Poppa Grande
July 27th, 2009
4:19 pm
Kimmie
But I DO know that I would not stand to be TREATED like 2nd choice, or leftovers!
Now that is sensible.
Pretty Wings
July 27th, 2009
4:20 pm
Hey Mo! Looks like a meeting in the ladies room!! LOL
kimmie-livin my life like it's golden!
July 27th, 2009
4:26 pm
We didn’t force something to be there that wasn’t. Things just happened on their natural pace. We supported each other in his/her endeavors but we let each still live our lives.
PG – Best thing I’ve read all day. Every successful relationship I hear about has this in common – nothing was forced, things progressed at a natural pace!
Mo (aka Moeisha-)
July 27th, 2009
4:29 pm
Pretty Wings – guess so chica! PG is the lonely dude holding it down right now!
main lurker
July 27th, 2009
5:03 pm
Enter your comments here
Lurky lurked
July 27th, 2009
5:17 pm
Str8 control by fear not good