Everything Old Is New Again
The results of the Great Male Survey 2009 from Askmen.com are in. I eagerly anticipate this each year (no sarcasm, really) because it’s like getting a small peek into a cross-section of men that are in my dating pool. From what I can tell, modern men are still big on tradition: “When it comes to the romantic front, everything old is new again” I feel that this is a great thing to hear, for the most part. That doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with some of the ideas that come with that though.
The Dating & Sex part of the survey had a lot of great questions. I would be interested to hear some of our male readers to respond to the first five: Do you believe that you have a soul mate? What is the most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material”? Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”? Do you believe in marriage? How important is it to you for your future wife to sign a prenup?
Ladies, the Great Female Survey was given by Yahoo’s female portal, Shine. Same questions for you: Do you believe that you have a soul mate? What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? Do you believe in marriage? Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Would you sign one?
Some of the numbers surprised me, what do you think about the responses?
Happy Friday everyone!
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584 comments Add your comment
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
11:36 am
Mytwocents Guess what babyboy Will’s name is?
…..Jackson.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit ... :-)
July 24th, 2009
11:37 am
We’re supposed to think the cops are our friends, they’re around to help us? Come on. To a cop, everyone is a suspect and a perp…
Say have you guys seen the story about the EMT driver who was on his way to the hospital with a sick AA woman and got pulled over by the cops and they got into this huge altercation that turned physical….all the while you could hear the woman inside screaming b/c she was afraid she was going to die before she got to the hospital. He later apoligized but that was much too little waaay to late.
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
11:37 am
Leggs – If you knew what your neighbor looked like and you saw him trying to force his way into his home, you wouldn’t find that odd?
Especially if someone was with him? (Gates had his driver helping him). I would have been concerned that maybe the person with him was holding him up at gunpoint or something.
Being locked out of your house is one thing, trying to break into your own house is another.
Tazzee - in need of some beach time
July 24th, 2009
11:38 am
On the Gates thing – I was hoping the POTUS would have said I don’t have all the facts so I can’t respond at this time and then make his comment about the fact that racial profiling exists.
What I don’t understand is, how can I be disorderly in my own home. If you’re in my home you’re subject to whatever I say – as long as I don’t put my hands on you…
The only way I agree that race has a place in this is that I don’t think an elderly white man would have been treated the same way and I do believe an elderly white man would have had choice words for the officer.
Poppa Grande
July 24th, 2009
11:38 am
Cee
Unfortunately, calling a spade a spade may come a steep price for him. Passing this healthcare thing was gonna be tough anyway. But now, he has made it harder. He is now getting some labels as racist president. It won’tbe passed before the summer recess in August. So the Congressmen will get to go home and hear from their constituents. This incident that they will have in their minds.
Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture and be smarter than those trying to get you to slip up.
As far as putting on a show for the media, right now I feel like I have subscribed to BHO instead of HBO. Barack Hussein Obama is on TV quite a bit. Whether it is with Brian Williams on DateIine, 60 Minutes, or 20/20, he is on TV often. Let Press Secretary Gates do his job in front of the Media, now.
Melo
July 24th, 2009
11:40 am
This is not a race thing this a my balls are bigger than yours thing
Cops dont like to feel vulnerable, as in being wrong! They cant admit to u,on the spot,that they are wrong either.
Its a power thing to them and i bet u,smething wrong in their training.If u wrong u wrong,why not say so and move on.
They came in expecting to see some black burglers,were in high testestorone mode,found its the lil Proff,were proly going away,except for the,”whats ur name and ID# thing” and the “do u know who i am” statement from the Proff.
Whatever the intended meaning,if he said that,he was dumb.
Raqi
July 24th, 2009
11:40 am
True Infamous, but you don’t have to always prove your point. If you know how they are just as you said f’em and let them do their job.
This is the way I look at the whole thing, if my alarm went off and the cops came I would be more upset if they didn’t ask to see my ID to make sure I lived there. And then I would be okay with them walking thru the house because they would actually see pictures of me and family in there.
But that’s just me.
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 24th, 2009
11:42 am
@M okay time out. If a person is calling in a break-in or a assault robber or whatever. 911 ask you to describe what is going on. It was not dark outside. And they neighbor said two men were breaking in. Describe them. Short black male close cropped hair. Tall black male close cropped hair whateva. I mean if there had turn out to be a robber..who are the police going to look for? Two men? Hell I can find two men right now on the street together this is Atlanta..you have to provide details. Race, height, color of clothing something so they know who they are looking for.
@abc and you are right cops are aggressive there are fewer of them because public safety is getting hit with major cutbacks. Sorry but I feel for the men and women in blue because they have to put up with some serious crap every day and then go home at night and forget it only to come back and pick it up again tomorrow. Heck yeah I would be aggressive too if I had to deal with thugs, molesters, robbers and crooks all day. They can’t tell the liars from the saints because so-called saints lie. They work with what they have.
Hose "JIgsaw" Johnson aka "pullin out early"(W8©)
July 24th, 2009
11:44 am
Do you believe that you have a soul mate?
Yes, had her I messed up the relationship..probably won’t have another..but I will still give my sould to the deserving woman
What is the most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material”?
She is a Lady and she is turstworthy, loyal and respectful to me as a man and at the end of the day I know I have atleast one person in my corner…and thats her
Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”?
Yes
Do you believe in marriage?
Yes
How important is it to you for your future wife to sign a prenup?
No prenup…TILL DEATH DO US PART…I aint never divorcing again…somebody would be dying so no prenup needed
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
11:45 am
@ PoppaG – Yep, Healthcare is way more important. You couldn’t be more right. He now has to get the Media off is back cause his friend had words with an officer. Then after he weed through the bs he can get back to work.
You know i’m not to go down of some bs. But when I see it. I call it. Simple as that. Never been able to convince me to turn around and graze the grain cause it’ll keep me out of the best seat in the house.
Leggs
July 24th, 2009
11:45 am
@ARed, not odd enough to call the police…hell no! Really, probably think his key jammed in the lock, or lost key and all windows were locked. How he gets in HIS OWN HOUSE is not a concern of mine!
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
11:47 am
Sassy- Never heard of that one but how about that NFL dude who ran a light to get to his wife’s mother’s bedside before she passed & the cop pulled his gun on him all the while the nurses were BEGGING the cops to let him go.. Needless to say, his mother in law died before he got a chance to say his good byes.. VERY SAD!!!
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
11:47 am
All of this happened in the hospital parking lot..
THE INFAMOUS DOMINICANO DK
July 24th, 2009
11:48 am
Raqi – I see your point but come on after dude foundout he was the owner then what. Cops are taught to deal with People and use common sense.
W8 – What say you?
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
11:48 am
“As far as putting on a show for the media, right now I feel like I have subscribed to BHO instead of HBO.”
Lol PoppaG As i recall i have missed so many of the interviews. Just cause.
That’s funny.
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
11:49 am
W8 I didn’t say thankyou. Are you going to hit me with a door next time.
abc
July 24th, 2009
11:50 am
Hey, I’m glad there are cops. If nothing else, it means I don’t have to be one. I understand why they have procedures that insist on immediate compliance, or else. I even understand how they’d consider everyone around them to be suspects of something or other, and why particular personalities are better suited for the work. Talk about profiling, there’s some serious profiling right there, I admit it.
Given that I understand all that, when I’m faced with cops, I comply with them immediately, keep my words and actions to a minimum, facilitate whatever it is they’re after and wish them well as they depart — hopefully, they simply depart after the encounter, leaving me at home, in my car, whatever. Gates didn’t do that. He got arrested for giving crap to the cop, not for being black. Young, old, black, white, male, female — anyone would have gotten exactly the same treatment, maybe worse.
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
11:50 am
Leggs – The door was jammed so they were trying to FORCE OPEN the door. Robbers do the same thing. If I wasn’t cool enough with my neighbors to go over and help, I would call the police in case it wasn’t my neighbor and someone was actually trying to break in.
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 24th, 2009
11:51 am
As for President Obama..he had no dog in this fight. He should have shifted the focus back to the topic..Healthcare and kept it moving. I love my friend and family too..but everything they do is not right and I don’t uphold the wrong. As an elected official you can not committment on everything. Hell last week it was skinny jeans..now its Skip Gates..this stuff gets you off task. Focus.Focus.
Henry
July 24th, 2009
11:52 am
I believe in soul mates, but haven’t found mine. I like Mr. Right Now, until Mr. Right comes along. I won’t sign a prenup being divorced, knowing that trust goes a long way with marriage. I don’t have much, but don’t want what anyone else has.
I have been in the military and have seen the world. Some other cultures in the world are way different than here in America. I treat others as they want to be treated; and expect the same. I am a lady and won’t settle for less. I did already…lived and learned.
Leggs
July 24th, 2009
11:52 am
@ARed, also, if it was a break in by my neighbor being held up by someone one else, I probably would have rolled the window up and yelled at my neighbor asking what his/her problem was. Then with the response or lack thereof, I might have had to call the police. Point is, the would be robber would know he’s been seen. Then I would bolt my house down and hide with my cell phone until police arrived!
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 24th, 2009
11:53 am
lawd I am going blind from hunger.. NOT committment…comment on everything.
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
11:54 am
@ARed, also, if it was a break in by my neighbor being held up by someone one else, I probably would have rolled the window up and yelled at my neighbor asking what his/her problem was
Hope you azz doesn’t get shot.
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 24th, 2009
11:56 am
@Leggs..apparently you don’t know believe fat meat is greasy. Robbers shoot witnesses these days. No way in the world I am going to hell out the window at some dudes breaking in a house..”What you doing?” I am not the po-po..let the po-po find out what they were doing. Damn that.
Leggs
July 24th, 2009
11:56 am
@Lioness, I never forgot a classmate in my Constitutional Law class. He had serious self-esteem issues. One day he said outloud that he wanted to be a cop due to the authority he would have over others. I said out loud that I hoped he never makes it into the police academy because he would be a trigger happy walking fool. The class laughed, but I was dead serious!
Kym-I am the mystery in the room
July 24th, 2009
11:57 am
hell..yell same difference. thats it I am going to lunch..
THE INFAMOUS DOMINICANO DK
July 24th, 2009
11:58 am
Raqi – And I was quite hot I might add. I had on Brooks Bros slacks and on my knees in a turning lane between four lanes of Traffic. Oh and I will raise you one more. It wasnt until My White Collegue stopped to see what was going on did they let me go. I put that on everything I love. If he hadnt stopped they were gonna keep harrassing me and their tone changed when he got out and began asking questions. I’ll never forget it. I was right there on Delk road by Lockheed at 5:30 in the evening during major traffic, so not only was I humiliated but I was disrespected and put on display for every one to sneer and shake their head at. Did a businessman come to mind when they saw a well dressed Black male in a Porsche pulled over on his knees? Prolly not.
Poppa Grande
July 24th, 2009
11:58 am
Kym
Heck yeah I would be aggressive too if I had to deal with thugs, molesters, robbers and crooks all day. They can’t tell the liars from the saints because so-called saints lie. They work with what they have.
Exactly.
I have friend’s that are judges, and they say that they like their job, but the downside is that they deal with other people problems all day. That is what police, firemen, doctors, lawyers, nurses, etc do. They deal with other people’s problem.
Melo
I have had cops apologize to me before. (I’m sorry sir for taking some of your time.) A lot of it has to do with how you interact with them. In many of situations, they are just scared. Most have wives and children waiting for them at home.
Sure there are bad cops, but there are bad accountants, bad grocery clerks, bad teachers, bad garbagemen, bad water treatment, and there are just some bad people in this world period.
I’ve had to deal with many cops in my lifetime. We were one of the first black families in our area and dealt with gunshots in the house, crosses in the yard, murdered pets, blown up mailboxes. So, I’ve met cops that were professional about the situation and cops that weren’t.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit ... :-)
July 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Lioness I saw the report on the news and read the story as well….does that cop still have his job or was he fired?
THE INFAMOUS DOMINICANO DK
July 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Raqi – Had to mess with you about the slacks, but it was very humiliating..
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
I am not the po-po..let the po-po find out what they were doing. Damn that.
Black Mamba AKA Princess Xiomara
July 24th, 2009
12:01 pm
” I have a feeling this particular case had less to do with race and more to do with a cop feeling the need to exert his authority”…I personally do not like cops for this reason. They have this ego…such as a male ego…”I must show them who is boss”! Is all the really necessary? I mean really please….Get a gun and a badge and now you are God and deserve to have your a$$ kissed? I don’t think so. You are human just like me. You just decided to be a cop..it’s a job. Get a grip.
Now back on topic….as for soulmates…I do not believe they exist. Hell at this point I do not think I believe in love. It’s all …lust, like and I want compananionship. But do I really love you….do you really love me? I thinketh NOT!
BTW…W8…as for your comment saying I got fired from a BJ…well is it my fault you lil’ peter kept slipping through the mini gap in my teeth?
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
12:02 pm
Leggs- I think MOST cops are people with self esteem issues! FOR REAL!!
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
12:03 pm
Sassy- He resigned..
Stace-
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
12:03 pm
Hell at this point I do not think I believe in love.
M'
July 24th, 2009
12:05 pm
Kym
No, what I meant in my response to what Leggs posted about not knowing what their neighbor looked like…lol…saw 2 black men trying to “force” entry into the house…did the person not know what their black neighbor looked like????…lol
True story:
My father is a retired Deputy Chief of Police. Many years ago when I was about 10 or so…I got locked out of the house…so me being the brilliant solutionist that I am…lol…decided to remove the outside screen window and push open the inside window to get into the house…well, a neighbor (in an predominately black neighborhood) saw the tale end of me going through the window and call the police…now it really gets funny…my pops was on patrol and when he heard the address he knew that it was HIS house…so he bee lined it home…came in with his hand on his gun…saw the window (as I had not put it back on yet)…other cops showed up…went looking through the house and found me watching TV…lol…well, needless to say the windows were changed immediately for a more security against easy removal and access…yeah, I broke into my own house, my father answered the call about a break in at his house…did my neighbor not KNOW that it was me???
Hose "JIgsaw" Johnson aka "pullin out early"(W8©)
July 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
On gentlemanly duties…Ladies it’s all or nothing you cant pick and choose what you want him to do..if he is a gentleman you take the good with the bad.
On this Law Enforcement Convo..I will say this and be done…It’s amazing how people bad mouth the police but never say thank you..I wish we were allowed to have the same piss poor attitude towards others that they have towards us right off the bat from one experience or whatever(I am sure you have had bad experiences with the opposite sex..but you keep going back).but nope…We put our life on the line because we are supposed to…do we have bad days yes are we human ..Yes..I am a Federal Law Enforcement officer so I don’t play by state or local laws…I commend those on that level because they have far to many regulations. Attitude and being mouthy are not criminal offenses. Should cops have to endure a tounge lashing because they are stopping someone that broke the law? one thing I never realized before I became an officer is that you can go to jail or get a citation for anything (Except 2 things and I’ll leave that up to you to figure out). So Peace Officers exercise a lot of restraint and give many brakes more then you realize. Well Mr. Citizen, I guess you have me figured out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I’m stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I’m the “lousy cop.” Unfortunately, the reverse isn’t true. I can never figure you out.
From birth you teach your children that I am the bogeyman, and then you’re shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy, the criminal. You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something. You may take an hour for lunch, and have several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer if you see me having just one cup.
You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals at noon with your troubles. You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and I’m picking on you. You know all the traffic laws, but never got a single ticket you deserved. You shout “foul” if you observe me driving fast enroute to an emergency call, but literally raise hell if I take more than ten seconds responding to your call!!!
You call it “part of the job” if someone strikes me, but it’s “police brutality” if I strike back. You wouldn’t think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but you are always willing to give me a few pointers on law enforcement. You talk to me in a manner and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but you expect me to stand and take it without batting an eye.
You cry, “Something has to be done about all the crime!” but you can’t be bothered with getting involved.
You’ve got no use for me at all, but, of course, it’s OK if I change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car on the way to the hospital, or save your son’s life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or work many hours over-time to find your lost daughter.
So Mr. Citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, or maybe your life might depend on one thing, ME, or one if my buddies.
I don’t want to get into the argument about why cops do certain things, if you’re not a cop you’ll never understand. That’s ok. I don’t know your job and I might not understand why you do the things you do.
East Point's Own
July 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
After reading more about this officer in the Gates case and the other details it seems more like a case of the cop being annoyed by a guy who is challenging his authority.
But I must say that I have been arrested for nonsense while in my own home. Someone had a medical emergency in my home and the police came in with the paramedics… I went to the hospital with the ambulance and some friends, next thing you know I was arrested in the hospital because the police were still in my house checking serial numbers on items in my house and one item came up stolen. Well actually I still had the sales reciept in my pocket at the hospital and they called the store and they described me as the person who purchased the item, and they figured out that they had transposed digits in the serial number while they were snooping around my house.
I have other stories of being held at gunpoint by the police for absolutely no valid reason… but I’ll save those for other ocassions…and I don’t even have dreadlocks or wear baggy pants…
Poppa Grande
July 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
DK
I was right there on Delk road by Lockheed at 5:30 in the evening during major traffic, so not only was I humiliated but I was disrespected and put on display for every one to sneer and shake their head at.
Cobb County has a bad rep for that type of behavior. Heck even the WWE knows enough about it to have had a wrestler by the name of Big Boss Man from Cobb County GA.
I had one of those experiences as well on South Cobb Drive. I was driving a Corvette. Luckily, I was near my friends house, who is a Cobb County judge. He walked down to see what the commotion was about.
Villa Rica was by far the worst though. The US Department of Justice came and dealt with their police department.
I also loathe Fayette cops. I had one experience with them, too. I outran them the next time that I that pursued me.
Melo
July 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Now i will admit,i have rated on some pple in my subdee and called the popo be4.
It was a satrday nite and smetimes, i watch tele till very late.
It was a dark nite and late,round about 1.00 am/2.00am thereabout.Small car is slowing down around my house, i dont recopgnize it and i suspect the 2 pple in there were just trying to get a cool spot so they can get there puddsy and dizzle IN and eat it too..
Dispoatcher says,”"so u wanana come out and see the officer??
I said,”hell no,u just come round and do ur thang!!”
(if that was any of u guys,in a lil blue
car,in ma subdvsion,i apologise for disrupting ur show that nite,i know how that feels esp when u ready)
Sassy Me...juicy fruit ... :-)
July 24th, 2009
12:09 pm
as for your comment saying I got fired from a BJ…well is it my fault you lil’ peter kept slipping through the mini gap in my teeth?
kimmie
July 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
Cee – I agree with a lot of the points made about the Gates case, mostly with Melo & you though. I guess looking at what I have gathered in the news, I have a few questions. Why did they feel the need to arrest & cuff an elderly man on a cane? Is he really a threat to society? He had showed them his id – why didn’t they just turn around and leave? If he followed them out wanting cops badge # & id – what’s the harm? I do think it was a case of flaired tempers – Gates probably had a chip on his shoulder anyway & cop didn’t like being questioned & talked back to. All blown out of proportion.
And yeah, I really don’t think it should have been brought up at the prez’s health care presser, but they do that all the time, especially to this prez. Press loves to stir the pot & make more controversy than stick to the issue at hand. They knew the prez was friends with Gates. And I don’t really think his statements is going to have THAT much effect on the healthcare thing. They were not going to be ready before the recess anyway and he said he didn’t mind the delay as long as they were working on it. The GOP & the conserv. dems were going to bytch about the plan anyway. As for him being on tv all the time – well folks asked for transparency didn’t they? When ABC, CNN, GMA have been asked about it they say they are reporting the news and barring a sit-down interview if the prez is on a foreign trip, doing a speech or a townhall or signing a bill in the Rose Garden, they are gonna show it. If folks don’t want to see him, don’t watch the news. Fox’s sole mission dedicated to dissecting and bashing him any way they see fit.
Raqi
July 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
Infamous what did you do to get stopped? Are you saying it was just random.
I was watching Good Morning America this morning they were talking this guy Williams asking him his take on. I agree with him although we really don’t hear of it happening quite often, but he said that the cops are trained to check out the premises just in case some one is in the house and making get rid of the police. Yeah it seems far fetched because it we really don’t hear of that but it is possible. If it wasn’t the police would not be trained to expect.
I still say hate me for doing my job rather than not doing it and things turning out much worse. The thing is a police can’t or rather should never assume a situation is not the worst.
Just think had somebody been the house and that man was killed or robbed because the police did not do their job. We would still be here talking about racial issues except it would the cops not caring to fully do their duty because it was a black man’s house.
Tazzee I disagree. If I call you to my house as an authority to perform a service of investigation and protection I need to allow you to do just that. Yes I am unruly when I fight you in doing the job I called you to do in my house.
Professor...sitting on my ego
July 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
Stepping back in….
I can see a power struggle going on with both the officer and the Professor. Two men both with a certain amount of power…well we all know a who can piss the furthest contest ensued.
Off topic: I want some lemon pepper wings and some hot french fries for lunch. I am trying to fight the craving…
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
Sassy- I damn near tinkled on myself when I read THAT
The 3 C’s in a relationship: Chemistry, Compatibility & Communication
Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!
July 24th, 2009
12:12 pm
Professor- PlEASE STOP!! I can’t have any of that type of food
Lemon Pepper wings are my FAVORITE!!
AmazonRed™
July 24th, 2009
12:14 pm
Professor – Why fight it?
Yesterday I wanted some McDonald’s french fries and an Oreo McFlurry. It was 3:30 in the afternoon.
It was yummy.
East Point's Own
July 24th, 2009
12:14 pm
AmazonRed Well the report I read said that Gates got in through the back door, and had the driver on the outside of the front dorr, while he was inside the house trying to open the door… So there goes the whole hostage possibility.. LoL
E INFAMOUS DOMINICANO DK I ride motorcycles… and I had a white cop follow me for about 2 miles without his lights on and through 2 or 3 stop lights, and then he pulled me over for “speeding”… I had some friends following me in a car so they pulled up behind the cop car and they were watching the cop… so he comes up and tells me he saw me speeding 2 miles ago he would let me go this time because I did not make him chase me…” I tell you cops don’t need free time, they find creative ways to harass people when they are idle.
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
12:14 pm
@ W8 – I’ve been preached that.
Cemeeli
July 24th, 2009
12:14 pm
Is it Freedom Friday?