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Everything Old Is New Again

The results of the Great Male Survey 2009 from Askmen.com are in. I eagerly anticipate this each year (no sarcasm, really) because it’s like getting a small peek into a cross-section of men that are in my dating pool. From what I can tell, modern men are still big on tradition: “When it comes to the romantic front, everything old is new again”  I feel that this is a great thing to hear, for the most part.  That doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with some of the ideas that come with that though.

The Dating & Sex part of the survey had a lot of great questions. I would be interested to hear some of our male readers to respond to the first five: Do you believe that you have a soul mate? What is the most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material”? Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”? Do you believe in marriage? How important is it to you for your future wife to sign a prenup?

Ladies, the Great Female Survey was given by Yahoo’s female portal, Shine. Same questions for you: Do you believe that you have a soul mate? What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? Do you believe in marriage? Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Would you sign one?

Some of the numbers surprised me, what do you think about the responses?

Happy Friday everyone!

584 comments Add your comment

C tha 1

July 24th, 2009
8:22 am

I remember completing this survey a couple of weeks ago. Some of my answers were not posted on the cue box but here goes:

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? Yeah . . . more than one.

What is the most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material”? First of all be a lady . . . simply put I ask myself the question would I be proud to introduce this woman to my mother?

Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”? Of course . . . why bother with a relationship otherwise.

Do you believe in marriage? Yes.

How important is it to you for your future wife to sign a prenup? I’m not a man of great wealth. I’m not a pauper either . . . in a nutshell I would not make my soulmate sign a prenup.

ImAPeach404

July 24th, 2009
8:48 am

@ C – So interesting that you mention being a lady. I have a GF that is GROSS!!! She’s always burping – and she sounds like a man when she does it. It disgusts me so I know if she does it around a man he has GOT to be totally turned off. I asked her if she does that (burp) in front of dudes and she said “If he got a problem with gas, he can’t be with me!”(ewwww!). She smacks when she eats, talks with her mouth full, and is very messy. She also curses worse than a sailor. I think being a lady (but not a priss) is important.

Do you believe in a soul mate YES!!!! But, I think mine was killed in a car accident as a child so I’m SOL…

Personality trait for relationship material Consideration.

Husband potential? Absolutely! I don’t date for “sport” anymore – nor do I date to find a husband. But, I am looking for a long-term committed relationship that will hopefully be my last, so…

Marriage? It’s not my end-goal but, if he wanted it, I would do it to make him happy. I’d be satisfied with the Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell deal as long as we were totally committed to each other.

Prenup? Ehhh…I wouldn’t require it and I wouldn’t have a problem with signing one either.

ImAPeach404

July 24th, 2009
8:49 am

One more thing – Did anyone notice in the survey that majority of the guys said they wanted their woman to have no more than 5 partners?!?!?! HA!!!!! Lie ladies… LIE!

Shout out to the homey Mike Vick!!!!

kimmie

July 24th, 2009
8:50 am

Morning blog people!

Enjoying a day at home today. Happy Friday!

I believe in the soulmate concept and I believe you can have more than one. My boyfriend must be husband material or I’m wasting my time because I date to marry at this stage in the game. I had fun in high school & college. So needless to say I definitely believe in marriage. What makes a man relationship material is character. If he is of good character, other things will be present like integrity, honesty, true to his word, responsibleness(if that’s a word). He does what he says he is going to do.

I really don’t want to go down the prenup road. Me nor my SO “got it like that”. We’re comfortable and each has different responsibilities. He has kids he has to look out for. We both have homes. I expect should we marry we would have things in place like wills, insurance policies, etc. A prenup would be just overkill and leave an unneccesary bad taste.

Kym

July 24th, 2009
8:52 am

Do you believe that you have a soul mate?
I use to think yes…but now I believe your soul can connect with more than one person so..Nooooo.

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”?
Sense of Humor you have to laugh at yourself more than others most days.

Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”?
Nooooooo

Do you believe in marriage?
For others yes..for me Nooooooooo

Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup?
Since I don’t want a future husband …Noooooooo

Would you sign one?
Sure, why not?

Professor...playing my song

July 24th, 2009
8:56 am

It’s a beautiful morning!

Wow…I am going to give short answers and keep it simple:

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? Yes…I believe in soul mate(s) you can connect with more than one person (ohh that was too long).

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Honesty…you have to keep your word

Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? Absolutely anything else is just casual relations…not my style

Do you believe in marriage? Yep, with everything that I am…body and soul

Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Not really…as long as I can keep my dog and cars I am good, but if he mess with that I will…let me look at my “cheat sheet” I will have to cap him…

Would you sign one? Yes, because if it is not mine I don’t want it anyway…

Rell - tell groupie to get over it!

July 24th, 2009
9:05 am

iampeach….what is your phone namber…lol

on topic

Do you believe that you have a soul mate

NAW, its just like unicorns…they dont exist…

Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”?

- No its not important…she just may be for a season
-

What is the most important personality trait that makes a woman “relationship material”?

- cooperation/comprise….and above all else loyalty!!!!

Do you believe in marriage

- Yes

on the prenup…naw…i am a gambler so i will take my chances

Professor

July 24th, 2009
9:05 am

Hey Kimmie! Thanks for the recipe yesterday was crazy, but I did get it…

Peach- I will never forget I was at the Ob/gyn and he asked me at what age did I become active and how many partners I have had…I answered him truthfully and he told me I had very low miles and to keep the morals (we have a good relationship), but I was not expecting that….

@C you are right about being a lady. I grew up with all male cousins and I was a tomboy/prissy little thing. I really credit both of my parents for giving me etiquette and preparing me on how to conduct myself. I have seen so many women that are not ladies and men that are not gentlemen…it is a shame.

kimmie

July 24th, 2009
9:05 am

Professor – Did you get the recipe?

Professor

July 24th, 2009
9:11 am

Hey Kimmie I have it and thanks so much. I taught last night and yesterday was already crazy. I am going to make it or the sangria ( I have not decided) this weekend so I will let you know how it turns out on Monday.

kimmie

July 24th, 2009
9:16 am

Being a lady is second nature to me because I was raised by one and brought up around many(grandmother, aunts, family friends, etc.). Same with my brothers and being gentleman. So the concept of a person not being one is foreign to me. When I see it going on, that person sticks out like a sore thumb.

Good manners cost nothing. They trancend all economic levels. Some of the least fortunate people I’ve known had the best manners and “home training”. Some of the weathiest were the most boorish. If that type of thing was not stressed in your household, read up on it and put it into practice. 2 boyfriends I’ve had did this. It worked wonders for their careers and personal relationships. I’ve certainly reaped the benefits of them myself. Conduct yourself and treat others with the greatest respect. It will just make you and everyone around you feel good! Good manners will take you far.

Grace

July 24th, 2009
9:19 am

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:21 am

Good Morning All :)

Do you believe in a soul mate- Ehh.. Maybe.. I just want my mate to touch my soul :oops:

Personality trait for relationship material- Caring

Husband potential? Yeah..

Marriage? If my man wants it, I will give it to him but I agree with –> I’d be satisfied with the Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell deal as long as we were totally committed to each other.<– Right on Peach!!

Prenup? Not signing one & would not consider marrying anyone who suggested I had to.. When I get married, it is until death do us part PERIOD!! Also, I am ONLY doing it ONCE!

All that men tend to like women who have had LESS than 5 partners in their life is CRAZY! They will get a woman that has JUST as many partners as they’ve had :lol:

I frankly don’t think it is any of their business what went on before them as long as you have a clean bill of health!

kimmie

July 24th, 2009
9:22 am

Professor – Cool.

In the past, if I was just “kickin it” with a guy, he was not considered a “boyfriend”. Most guys I know would not give “girlfriend” title to a jumpoff. Friends with benefits, jumpoffs, kickin it – those are not real “relationships” to me, so it seems to reason you would not care if they had spouse or soul mate potential.

kimmie

July 24th, 2009
9:27 am

I frankly don’t think it is any of their business what went on before them as long as you have a clean bill of health!

Lioness – Word! I don’t know why it even comes up for discussion!

Mike Jones (who)

July 24th, 2009
9:28 am

Do you believe in a soul mate–No

Personality trait for relationship material–Honesty–Humor–Be a lady (Theres a big difference between a Lady and a Woman)

Is it important for a girlfriend to have “wife potential”?
Yes, thats the only we she will get that ring on her finger

Do you believe in marriage–Yes

on the prenup–”I hope she’s more like Anita Baker than Robin Givens” lol…Sign here here and here thank you!

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:32 am

Kimmie- I have only been asked that question once and I had to ask if he was serious.. He was YEAH.. :lol: He actually wanted to know how many orally & sexually.. :lol: Told him & he was fine..
I should have asked him how many but I might have ended our relationship that day :lol:

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:34 am

Mike- (Theres a big difference between a Lady and a Woman)Please explain..

Professor

July 24th, 2009
9:34 am

**** I frankly don’t think it is any of their business what went on before them as long as you have a clean bill of health!****

I agree with this statement…it really caught me off guard when my doctor made his comment…it left me wondering if that was his “male” perspective or “medical” perspective since he ask this question all the time. Do you feel me?

Professor

July 24th, 2009
9:37 am

Happy Birthday Lioness! Are you making big plans?

I am still shocked that he asked orally and sexually…he was really digging deep. There is a poem by Danielle Steele relating to this topic…I wish I had it with me so that I could share it…L

Mike Jones (who)

July 24th, 2009
9:38 am

Lioness

IMO
–Any adult female is a Woman. Its a very broad term
A Lady–Caries herself in a respectful way, she respects herself and others
You take a Lady home to meet your mohter, you can’t take just any woman home.

(Brief explanation without going too deep)

Professor

July 24th, 2009
9:39 am

*** Mike- (Theres a big difference between a Lady and a Woman)Please explain..***

Lioness/Mike I am waiting on the answer to this one… I asked a guy this before and he told me that there was nothing wrong with being a woman it simply meant that the female could take care of herself, and she still had manners, where as the lady just meant she had manners…

Kym-I am the mystery in the room

July 24th, 2009
9:40 am

@Professor you are a good one..like you said you have that relationship. Cause my first reaction would be is that question on that form? No, then why you wanna know. You asked when I had my last period. I give you half my blood when I come for all manner of testing..so what’s up Doc?

Sgt. Steele

July 24th, 2009
9:41 am

Soul mate: I believe there is someone best suited for me and I for them.
Relationship material: she must be intelligent and have a lot of common sense
Wife potential: yes, the gf must have some ‘wife’ qualities no matter how big her chest is.
Marriage: Yes
Pre-nup: not necessary

THE INFAMOUS DOMINICANO DK

July 24th, 2009
9:43 am

Greetings from the Bar Right by the beach (In my best carribean voice).

Do you believe in a soul mate? I used to. Now not so much

Personality trait for relationship material Consideration. Consistency, Loyalty and ability to admit when she’s wrong. (Cause we all know women never admit fault.

Marriage? It’s not my end-goal but. I’d be satisfied with the Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell deal as long as we were totally committed to each other. (Yes Peach Yes)

Prenup? Yes without a doubt.. You aint gonna Kelis me.

I’ll be in and out todat ladies and gentlemen.. I’m getting my most intersting man in the world on right now..

SexyCool - I stand corrected

July 24th, 2009
9:44 am

Three Words Daily – Celebrate life’s beauty.

ImAPeach404

July 24th, 2009
9:44 am

@Rell… go sit down somewhere! I bet I’ve met you out somewhere – trying to holla at everythang that pass by :)

@Professor… I feel you on keeping the cars. Because if I can ever afford an M6 and my ex-husband tries to take it from me, he will see all kids of Decatur come out!

@Kimmie… I love a man with good manners! One thing I always notice is how a guy acts when we go out to eat. From being nice to the server (including the tip), if they let me order first, how they eat, etc.

Cemeeli

July 24th, 2009
9:45 am

Good morning…

I’m so excited today! Hopefully i can post & share with ya’ll the scholar-rap after lunch today.

On topic:

I believe! In soulmates…in marriage…in a mate with good character and a good heart…in a man that cooks…in a mand that’s handy around the house…in a man leading the team…in vision…in supporting dreams…in love…I believe!

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:45 am

Professor- Your doctor was complimenting you but I haven’t EVER had a doctor ask me that & my gyn is a male.. Frankly, it is none of his business neither.. As long as ain’t ish growing or reeking up in the nana :lol:

Thx Chica! My bday is next Friday but I ALWAYS start the week before ;) Grey Goose Pear here I come :D

Mike- You know we gets DEEP on this piece :lol: Especially with this statement–>Any adult female is a Woman :neutral:

Mike Jones (who)

July 24th, 2009
9:46 am

THE INFAMOUS

40K a month…I felt bad for the homey!

Wise Diva

July 24th, 2009
9:47 am

*cracking up* @ ImaPeach, you are hilarious!

Wise Diva

July 24th, 2009
9:48 am

oh Pardon me folks, Good Morning EVERYONE!! It’s Friday, *happy dance*

Mike Jones (who)

July 24th, 2009
9:48 am

Lioness–
I take it you didn’t like that statement…Why?

SexyCool - I stand corrected

July 24th, 2009
9:50 am

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? – I believe that soul mates can be male or female. So, yes. And in fact, I believe that I have more than one. Have I ever had a partner that was a soul mate? Not really.

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Patience.

Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? At this stage in my life, YEP and YEP again.

Do you believe in marriage? YEP and YEP again.

Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Only if he’s promising me mad passionate sex daily in it.

Would you sign one? If he asked me to…I just might change my mind and let him in my heart forever….I just might give my heart and stay here in his arms forever…….so, um, yeah…If he asked me to.

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:51 am

Steele- have a lot of common sense<– Good Luck :D

Peach- I love a man with good manners! One thing I always notice is how a guy acts when we go out to eat. From being nice to the server (including the tip), if they let me order first, how they eat, etc.<– yes maam!! Some men think some women just want to go to dinner to get in his pockets.. NO DUDE! It is essential to have dinner dates cause it really shows you A LOT about a person.. Do they lick their fingers, elbows on the table, clean their teef @ the table etc..

I LOVE an observant man.. I LOVE my man to order my food for me.. That makes me MELT!!!

Grace

July 24th, 2009
9:53 am

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? Yes

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Good personal ethics

Marriage? Yes, recently I haven’t been dating to marry, I see myself leaning towards that step sometime in the future.

Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Nope and I wouldn’t sign one either.

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
9:53 am

Mike- No.. Just don’t agree with it.. Any female is a woman? Do you mean as far genetically?

AmazonRed™

July 24th, 2009
9:54 am

Morning lovelies. Happy Friday. Less than a week til vacay which is great cuz the jobby job is trying to kill a sista. :lol:

SexyCool - Don't lick the humpback.

July 24th, 2009
9:57 am

One other trait that I believe is important in my partner is the ability to call me on bvllsht and correct me as needed.

I exercised bad judgement. Mine called me on it and corrected me in a way that was neither harsh nor condescending.. It’s probably one of the sexiest things he has done to this point. Period. That ish spoke to my soul. And I appreciate it.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit ... :-)

July 24th, 2009
9:57 am

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? Honestly right now I don’t know…I just feel far removed from that line of thinking.

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Honesty means alot to me b/c lies breed mistrust and without that there is no relationship.

Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? I don’t know about that b/c I’m not looking for a husband but if I were dating I’d like to date a man that I would proudly take home to meet my mom and to date that’s only happened ONCE.

Do you believe in marriage? The jury is deadlocked on THAT one.

Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Would you sign one? Truthfully I don’t think I’ll ever get married BUUT unless I hit the lotto or something I wouldn’t make my future husband sign a prenup and if I was asked to sign one then guess who I’ll be looking out for……ME, of course.

Chink.....e

July 24th, 2009
10:01 am

Do you believe that you have a soul mate? Yuppity Yup it can be more than one person that you have a connection with.

What is the most important personality trait that makes a man “relationship material”? Morals/Honesty

Is it important for a boyfriend to have “husband potential”? Yes

Do you believe in marriage? Yup
Do you want your future husband to sign a prenup? Depends
Would you sign one? Depends

Mike While 40k a month might seem like a lot to you but it still might not be enough to suit her lifestyle.

While it does seem unfair we dont know what she had to go through in 5 years of marriage …while money dont provide happiness but it sure would give her some type of take away from a tumultuous marriage. Hey she just happend to marry someone who had some paper!

Professor

July 24th, 2009
10:02 am

@Kym I really didn’t even think about the question when he asked, but his comment is what made me think twice.

@Peach I am with you Zone 3 is going to come out and all of the education and prissy behavior is going out the window. Do not mess with my cars or dogs if we are going through a separation

@Mike I agree with Lioness I think you need to go a little bit deeper on that one

Off topic: I need to crank up some jazz…maybe some Ms. Natalie Cole “Ask a Woman Who Knows”

Kym-I am the mystery in the room

July 24th, 2009
10:06 am

Okay let me try this one again..

This ordering of the food..I mean I heard a woman say she like a man to order her food..just pick something for her and she eats it. That is not going to work for me. I mean what if he picks something I don’t like or not in the mood for? I am not eating it just because.

ImAPeach404

July 24th, 2009
10:06 am

@DK – So glad to hear you say Consideration too… I honestly believe if you consider your partner in all that you do, you will make better decisions for the relationship. It creates room for honesty, loyalty, romance, stability, etc.

Lioness- My Birthday Week Begins TODAY!!

July 24th, 2009
10:10 am

Kym- Nope.. That is not what I am talking about.. If my man knows I don’t like onions, tomatoes, dressing ON my salad, fried stuff etc.. and finds something on the menu while I am sipping on my glass of wine & ask if this is cool, I reply, he places my order without me speaking to the server.. That is what I love.. An observant MAN :D

Melody

July 24th, 2009
10:11 am

44% of women in the female survey said they prefer a 4-6 inch long penis, while only 26% said they prefer 8 inches or longer. TRANSLATION: 44% of the women surveyed have never been with a man who has a large penis and 26% of the women surveyed have!

Cemeeli

July 24th, 2009
10:13 am

@ Lioness – I like when my old man orders for me too….

“Baby what do you want?”….Server comes over…”She’ll have the salmon and shrimps”…then looking sideways at me…”Do you all have “grits” by chance?”

Me: Auwwwwww shucks, you’ve been paying attention to your woman. The book says you were not sharp enough for that baby! lol

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

July 24th, 2009
10:14 am

On topic:

Soul mates: In a sense, yes, but I don’t believe in The One. I think there are multiple people who could potentially be “the one” and whether it comes to pass is all about the willingness of both sides to commit.

Personality trait: Honesty. (Where is abc?)

Necessity of “wife potential:” For anything more than a recreational phluck, yes, there must be some potential there. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Believe in marriage: I sure hope so, since I’ll be married in about a month… :-D

Prenup: I wouldn’t ask, but I wouldn’t have a problem signing one. I’m not out to take anyone to the cleaners and any woman who’s trying to play me for $$ is clearly not a seasoned gold-digger. She can have my student loans, car payment & mortgage if she really wants them. :lol:

Totally off topic: Why? I ask, why can’t my people learn to stop dancing in public? :lol:

Cemeeli

July 24th, 2009
10:16 am

I mean what if he picks something I don’t like or not in the mood for? I am not eating it just because.

@ Kym – If he don’t ask what you want in the first place….???

Just reach across the table and show some Ike skills. I beatcha he wond order chicken fingers the next time!

Professor

July 24th, 2009
10:17 am

@Kym I have had a man order for me. Basically he will ask me what I want before the server comes and that is how he orders for me. Now just ordering something for me without my input…I have never had that happen before…plus I do not eat beef or pork (it has