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Complicated

I really dig complex men. Those extremely cerebral types really do it for me. In the past, my questionable choices in men have often backfired on me. I think part of problem was that I was often drawn to the tortured soul. In my head, I glamorized their personality as complex and complicated. Someone who thought deeper, felt intense emotions, and challenged me. Yeah, NO.

The reality was they didn’t think all that deeply, their emotions stayed on the “cold” side, and I wasn’t being challenged, I was being barked at and berated. It took some heart break and a restraining order to realize that crazy is not the same as complicated.

A truly complicated, complex person won’t hide behind empty rhetoric or ambiguity. They may start out guarded, but they will give you access when you have proven yourself trustworthy. Then you peel away the layers and realize that complex can be a very positive attribute.

I don’t want to paint all complex people with the same brush. I still feel drawn to the “complex” type, but I think I have improved my selection skill now. It’s like a hidden prerequiste that I don’t outright tell the men I date that I am looking for in a man.

One of our MIA Blog men, Mr. W8. got me to thinking about this kind of “hidden qualifier”, when he posed a couple of great questions:

What are those things that you know that you want in a potential mate, but you never reveal it? Perhaps you just wait to see if they do (or show) it on their own so they won’t fake it.

Have you ever dated someone and they do (or say something) that you never knew you needed but it spoke to your soul and now you can’t live without it? What was it? How did you handle it?

Is being complicated and complex a liability or an asset on the dating scene?

697 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:36 pm

ARed omg wtf. Ok, I think I remember friday but omg is the blog really that serious? i guess it really is. *shrugs*

:lol: I guess if you’re in the clique it is.

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:38 pm

abc

July 21st, 2009
2:38 pm

Kenny G is not jazz, whatever else it is. Dave Koz, Dave Sanborn are not jazz either. That doesn’t mean they’re not fine players, except Kenny G — he sucks!

Just playin. I know yall like that stuff.

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:38 pm

Rell I am with you on that one.

SexyCool - And my wolfpack, it grew by one.

July 21st, 2009
2:39 pm

W8 dela Soulnificient – snaps, snaps….

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:40 pm

Rell- Your mental is REALLY special

- i am specail, what is your fixation with dizzle….we have talked about this before on the other blog….lady…you are a closet freak just admitted…lol….you like sex more than you let on

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:41 pm

Okay, looks like my dear dawg friend W8 went “Jamoca” today!LOL!! It’s all good though, he opened up and that’s good coming from a dude!

kimmie – I guess it is refreshing. But I’m am wondering if the brotha had a brush with death or a visit from the Ghost of Christmas past or something! :lol:

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:42 pm

LOL Melo- why r u trying to get on my good side? I’m veryyyyyy nice.

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
2:42 pm

@ Jamoca – Okay lil mama.

@ ARed – Do you have a specific question about what was said in ralating to what i mentioned yesturday about blog chemistry? I’m not sure if you saw where i mentioned things don’t havta be “messy” if negative comments and piggybacks, pick-a-parts and dissecting a comment was not so prevelant. Shouldn’t be were folks are so concious about what others think that they wouldn’t venture to explore someone on here if they wanna. Wasn’t at all derived from anything other than what i wanted to say yesturday.

…but yeah that’s what i feel about it.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:42 pm

Yep I brought up God..told women they were azz out if they aint rollin right…brought up wang and bow legs…and I am fine with it..and will always be real with it…lol

..stepping off the stand of judgement…(while bankhead bouncing to a Church song..wondering if a person in this worlds thoughts can keep me out of heaven)..LMAO

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:44 pm

@grace…it was not the women that bought down the man…they were flawed from the start…pulllllllease..last time a real chick bought down an empire it was not and i repeat not helen of troy…lets try cleopatra….her brand of fun bought the rome empire down….so again why do women think it rules…

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:45 pm

Do you have a specific question about what was said in ralating to what i mentioned yesturday about blog chemistry

Cemeeli – I paid no attention to anything you said yesterday.

Melo

July 21st, 2009
2:45 pm

@Page:I’m veryyyyyy nice

i know u are!
I just dont want my rep sullied, in ur good and innocent eyes,thats all!

SexyCool - And my wolfpack, it grew by one.

July 21st, 2009
2:45 pm

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:45 pm

lurker things that make you hmmmm…you may be on to something.

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:47 pm

sign of a champion is consistency and Jam consistently posts long post..lol

Lol…oh, forget chu’ mayne! Well at least it’s good for something. hahahaaa…

LOL @ Kimmie! But yeah, it isn’t everyday the menfolk digg deep into themselves (when taking a spiritual journey) …especially not on here. But it’s nice to see/read when one does.

…as the runner up, Jamoca now breaks an old clay pot into the shape of a crown…placing it on top of W8’s head. Leggs, walking up to him from behind with a 1970’s style mink robe and placing it around his shoulders, while having a moment of silence listening to “We Are the Champions (my friend)” in the background…now handing W8 a 12-foot scroll titled “Memoirs of a Snap-Baicka” Lol Reading is Fundamental.

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:48 pm

I think I have PMS.

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:48 pm

Rell- I am ONLY fixated on MY life & what goes on in my life sir. My am my mans freak believe that! I’ve never said that I don’t like sex on this site.. Go back & reread..

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:48 pm

@SexyCool- I love that movie…lol

@Rell- Did you get my email bro?

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:49 pm

At one point in time on this blog, the emails were right under the monikers and were public, so at that time, it didn’t seem to be messy because you could contact anyone you wanted in private without anyone knowing your business. Now, it seems as though some people actually want others to know. *shrugs*

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:50 pm

it isn’t everyday the menfolk digg deep into themselves (when taking a spiritual journey)

- WRONG…we just dont post it for the “VIEW” to pick apart…stop thinking you know so much….YOU DONT!!!!…its a blog folks….geeesh…some of the most judgemental folks i have ever…

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:50 pm

Melo how do you know if I am nice or not? You know you have a blog reputation lol

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:51 pm

@Kimmie/Jam- Thanks

Melo

July 21st, 2009
2:51 pm

but they are creatures of habit

i think creatures of smell, is more apt, Raqi.
we be doing smething,right? our heads down and engrossed in whatever it is we doing..picture that for a second.
The moment we get a whiff,we raise our heads,look this side,and that side and then,there. :arrow: a curvy one is flaoting and gliding by.
We zoom and focus those beasty,hungry eyes.

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:52 pm

@page – your 2:49 is what i think as well…the blog was not cluttered with cat fights and personal bizness…just real game

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
2:53 pm

(Believe it or not, I do TRY to be good sometimes.)

SexyCool…naw boo, just call it as it I-S is, LOL.

Rell…women have brought down a lot of nations across the globe…throughout history.

Us men need not to be so weak….a dayum shame, LOL.

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:53 pm

RELL you know goodenwell there’s power in the puddy…..stop being in denial.

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
2:53 pm

ARed – lol @ yesturday. Only today hunh?

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:53 pm

Now, it seems as though some people actually want others to know. *shrugs*

Page – Well, since it is a dating blog, if folks want to talk about their business, that’s okay. I guess the messy part is when folks who aren’t in it wanna speak on it.

But I’m not in the blog clique so the last thing I waste my time on is who is creeping with who, who’s shaking, etc.

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:53 pm

Raqi when I do, I just get reallllllllllly tired big time. Other than that, I never have any symptoms. I’m a 3-dayer, so I’m happy lol

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is on the look out for whateva's cleva :-)

July 21st, 2009
2:54 pm

But yesterday I saw folks being called messy and folks speculating on blog hook ups and stuff based on Friday’s blog and I’m like

For real?…..hate I missed it.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:55 pm

Proverbs 27:17 (New International Version)

17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:56 pm

stop being in denial.

- i a not

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:57 pm

Only today hunh?

Cemeeli – You directed a question to me today. I saw my name, I responded.

No more, no less.

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:57 pm

ARed, yes I see what u mean. LOL @ blog creeping. *now let me see who I can text from the blog* lol

Rell, exactly. ^5

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:57 pm

Kelly Hilderbrandt to marry Kelly Hiilderbrandt….bizarre yet sweet

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:58 pm

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
2:59 pm

@W8 – You alright? lol…Well, tell the backseat rider to get out then. I’ll get out.

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:59 pm

Blog hookups?? Pls enlighten ME!!

MsM

July 21st, 2009
3:00 pm

Tortured souls are a no, no.. they are tortured because… they know they are trying to cheat with you, they want to ask to borrower (not pay back) money, they want to use something belonging to you. I met one once awhile back and he always had this aura around his head begging me to ask what’s wrong?.

Melo

July 21st, 2009
3:03 pm

Other than that, I never have any symptoms. I’m a 3-dayer

RAQI/Page,me too,im scared of that swine flu too.
Thats what uall talking about, right?
I dont have symptoms right now Page,thankfully!! :lol:

Grace

July 21st, 2009
3:03 pm

If someone is hooking up, as some people so eloquently put it, it should be their business unless you’re dealing with immature folks who kiss and tell. I wounldn’t be surprised if some folks was getting together, heck we chat/flirt back and forth with each other all day, someone is bound to be curious wanting to put a face behind the posts. What’s so unusual about that?

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:03 pm

Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?
Big, bad wolf? Big, bad wolf?
Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?
Tra-la-la-la-la

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:04 pm

@ARed – You got it! I asked a question. Maybe i was tryna be a groupie today. OR… maybe tomorrow my tongue will be all up Demi’s butt.

:wink:

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
3:04 pm

LOL Melo! omg

SexyCool - And my wolfpack, it grew by one.

July 21st, 2009
3:05 pm

Cemeeli – Rell is the ‘tongue up the butt’ dude. lmao.

kimmie-just being me & that's enough

July 21st, 2009
3:05 pm

Amred – I can’t speak for W8, but I know when I lost both parents and a brother – those events had me really looking and re-evaluating some things in my life. I know we have a tendency to romanticize and make people larger-than-life when they die, but there were things about each one of them that caused me to think. The biggest things I took away from them were #1 – Strive for excellence, #2 – No shortcuts, #3 – Life is short so make the most of it and enjoy each day.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:05 pm

@Cee- I am very cool….but give me a #2 pencil cuz they testin

Sassy Me...juicy fruit is on the look out for whateva's cleva :-)

July 21st, 2009
3:07 pm

Blog hookups?? Pls enlighten ME!!

:???:

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
3:07 pm

My stay may be short lived..