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Complicated

I really dig complex men. Those extremely cerebral types really do it for me. In the past, my questionable choices in men have often backfired on me. I think part of problem was that I was often drawn to the tortured soul. In my head, I glamorized their personality as complex and complicated. Someone who thought deeper, felt intense emotions, and challenged me. Yeah, NO.

The reality was they didn’t think all that deeply, their emotions stayed on the “cold” side, and I wasn’t being challenged, I was being barked at and berated. It took some heart break and a restraining order to realize that crazy is not the same as complicated.

A truly complicated, complex person won’t hide behind empty rhetoric or ambiguity. They may start out guarded, but they will give you access when you have proven yourself trustworthy. Then you peel away the layers and realize that complex can be a very positive attribute.

I don’t want to paint all complex people with the same brush. I still feel drawn to the “complex” type, but I think I have improved my selection skill now. It’s like a hidden prerequiste that I don’t outright tell the men I date that I am looking for in a man.

One of our MIA Blog men, Mr. W8. got me to thinking about this kind of “hidden qualifier”, when he posed a couple of great questions:

What are those things that you know that you want in a potential mate, but you never reveal it? Perhaps you just wait to see if they do (or show) it on their own so they won’t fake it.

Have you ever dated someone and they do (or say something) that you never knew you needed but it spoke to your soul and now you can’t live without it? What was it? How did you handle it?

Is being complicated and complex a liability or an asset on the dating scene?

697 comments Add your comment

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:04 pm

doggone tags! smh (lol)

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
2:04 pm

Jamoca – Thanks maam.

I never underestimate the postion a person has in the body of Chirst.

Humble is the word.

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
2:04 pm

MO??? when has he sung a song??

I like the choir singing on “his” cds.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!

Mo..thank!!

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:04 pm

@Jam- yeah, God only judges us once on judgement day..so I really could give a care when people try and do it daily..I owe nobody any explanations…and I dont know why I posted that lonnng post..guess I felt like letting it out..since WD posted the idea I sent her for a topic..lol

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:06 pm

Oh shaddup, Demi! Lol….hmmm try I <—(means first for those don’t know they Bible)Corinthians! Lmao

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
2:07 pm

Dang, Jamoca/W8, do you two have a contest going on? :lol:

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:08 pm

PG- I almost CHOKED on my crab claw!!!

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:10 pm

@Mo- I got ya bottle homey. I am taking a hop on our “agency” plane there and back..my homeboys have to fly commercial…but the good thing is I don’t have to go thru customs or any of that crap and I fly for free and can bring back what I want without any trouble.

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
2:10 pm

You are killing me softly! :wink:

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:10 pm

Awww Leggs – Not you too?! Naw, but since W8 got jokes hey…

So who do you think won? Lol

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:11 pm

Why do men think they have a big wang when it is OK?

SexyCool - Building a new tribe.

July 21st, 2009
2:12 pm

Maybe I am just a bit complex (among other adjectives that can be found to describe me.)

I’m okay with that.

Whomever chooses to really know me past all the levels of experience, personality, beliefs, morals, faults will find simplicity of life at the core. – To love and be loved. To be served and to be of service to others.

And to any perceived complexity – Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
2:12 pm

Jamoca…hahahahahahahahaha…cute!

I owe nobody any explanations…

W8…Yeah you do!!! My home girl wants to know…why do fed dudes have that funny walk when wearing a suit…is it the shoes?

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:14 pm

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song.

Melo

July 21st, 2009
2:14 pm

Why do men think they have a big wang when it is OK?

MEN??? :oops: Cam!!
sorry for that men misfortune baby! :lol:

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:15 pm

@Alvin- tell her I am just bowlegged..lol

@Leggs- Jam is the long post champion, followed by my dear friend Kimmie..then me when I get the urge..The true sign of a champion is consistency and Jam consistently posts long post..lol

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:17 pm

Sexxsay- I know that is RIGHT!! PREACH!! And this right HERE–>Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter<– Straight Gospel

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:19 pm

Heavy W8 – Oh, you didn’t have to mention that part. With or without your name in it…that topic had you written, smeared…fangaprints all over it! LOL But yeah, I hear you on that whole “entitlement issue” of what some folks feel is outright “due” to them.

Humble is the word. Cee Yeah, sis…more folks should try a piece of that pie. While others need the whole doggone thang.

Hey there, Raqi …whenever you get your hands on that coconut milk, do you mind whipping up another pina colada for me too? I love those things!…and the pina colada smoothies tastes like cake. Well, then again it depends who makes it, and where you buy it from too.

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
2:19 pm

Hands down, W8 wins that one.

@W8, yes consistency is a true sign of a champion, but for those 2 long a$$ posts today, you got her beat.

Telling a woman you’re bowlegged will not get her to leave you. No siree!

@Lioness, hey chica! You know not many can accurately see their imperfections. Those with a steady eye and honest heart will always face reality. It’s a toll for others to do so.

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
2:19 pm

Why do men think they have a big wang when it is OK?

Lioness…wow men do this?

I am just trying to see how much pleasure I can bring over the next 30 – 200 minutes

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:21 pm

I haven’t been on the blog since Thursday of last week. I was reading Friday’s blog and OMG, someone is trying to bamboozle my moniker

Why is everyone making such a big deal about Friday’s blog? Just asking because it seemed to warrant a lot of discussion yesterday too.

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
2:21 pm

Why do men think they have a big wang when it is OK?

- why do women think there hoe cave rules the world….thats the question….lie o ness!!!

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:21 pm

what is it with these men and bow legged women? they stop what they’re doing and just watch a sista walk by…. :lol:

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:22 pm

Complex could also be noted as character.

SexyCool - Building a new tribe.

July 21st, 2009
2:23 pm

“Why do men think they have a big wang when it is OK?”

Cause somebody lied or was not properly aroused.

Believe it or not, I do TRY to be good sometimes.

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:23 pm

Grace- No HOMO<– LOL!! I think a slightly bowlegged woman is sexy..

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:23 pm

Yep Jamoca that is one of my guilty pleasures that I like to make.

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
2:24 pm

@Grace, men stop and watch because they’re concentrating on the “gap.”

Women stop and look cuz they’re wondering how does it really hang…J/K!

Melo

July 21st, 2009
2:25 pm

why doall women make fun of guys with index finger-size wangs??
They were,chilli and sophia on the Vee,about Shaq’s reportedly, undersized lil finger.

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:26 pm

ARed what happened on Fridays blog?

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:26 pm

SCool You laid it out once again, in your 2:12! Exactly. It’s not actually a bad thing for some of us out here.

And if they just don’t “get it”…then all that I can say is hunnnehhh’ “it wuddn’t foh’ you” <— Cee you already know, so I won’t even go through the whole “riggah muh role” ’bout it. ;)

Oh Mqew Hey lady! Nice to see you fall through today. :)

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:27 pm

lol omg who started using the word “wang”? *shrugs*

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
2:27 pm

What is up with these 2520s in the office. It is so dang cold. I had to give up my heater today. Only one person gets my heater. Lil leggs is here w/me. Thank goodness I have 2 sweaters and a throw at my desk. Sheesh, it’s cold!

@Professor, I’ve been thinking about Michael Franks’ “Popsickle Toes” since you posted liking him this morning. Now, I need to think of a song that will heat me up….Got it….”Red Light Special”…ok, I’m on my way to warming up.

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:27 pm

Rell- Your mental is REALLY special! Not sure what kind of women you deal with but you HAVE to upgrade!

I mean a BIG wang is a BIG wang.. Point Blank Period.. I could understand if dude just go out of the shower & it was EXTRA cold but COME ON.. If it isn’t well proportioned then it is NOT big..

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:28 pm

Bowlegged men are ok..

Page- Melo started it.. :lol:

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:28 pm

why do women think there hoe cave rules the world – @ RELL because it does :) it can make you, break you, bring you tears of joy, make your mouth utter funny noise, lose your job, get a promotion, get you fired, make you tell your wife you’re ain the appalachian mountains on a retreat, get you darn mear impeached, and the list goes on and on

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:30 pm

Dang Grace! Lol

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:30 pm

ARed what happened on Fridays blog?

Page – Nothing out the ordinary in my opinion. But yesterday I saw folks being called messy and folks speculating on blog hook ups and stuff based on Friday’s blog and I’m like :?:

Grace

July 21st, 2009
2:30 pm

:wink: LIONESS/LEGGS

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:31 pm

omg who started using the word “wang”?

The same one who…nevermind.

We all are a work in progress.

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
2:32 pm

Okay, okay…Leggs, so the Heavy W8 Champ won this round. :(

I’ve gotta get my juice “baick”…like Spartans, snap-baickas don’t retreat! LOL :D

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
2:33 pm

AmazonRed™ - road warrior

July 21st, 2009
2:33 pm

make you tell your wife you’re ain the appalachian mountains on a retreat, get you darn mear impeached, and the list goes on and on

:lol: @ Grace.

Yup, many an empire has been brought down by a woman, and a man too weak to say no!

Thank you Eve. :lol:

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

Guys stop and watch women IMO not only because they are quite visual creatures, but they are creatures of habit.

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

ARed omg wtf. Ok, I think I remember friday but omg is the blog really that serious? i guess it really is. *shrugs*

Melo

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

Page- Melo started it..

Cam/Page, i did not,W8 did.

Dang Cam,i want to be on Page’s good side,ok!! :lol: and :wink:

kimmie-just being me & that's enough

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

Okay, looks like my dear dawg friend W8 went “Jamoca” today!LOL!! It’s all good though, he opened up and that’s good coming from a dude!

W8©

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

A poem by W8 dela Soulnificient

Some folks recognize the light but…
they can’t handle the glare…
so they choose to play the back..
talk..gossip or just stare…

Hater’s by nature
even though they are unaware

above the fray..and proud of it…
my heart unleashed…
you can’t handle any of it

Get your mind right..
as I work on me

Meet you at the top
If we were meant to be

Page1908- On set location

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

LOL Raqi- point well taken.

Lioness- Finally granted Parole

July 21st, 2009
2:35 pm

Hoe cave.. LMAO!! REll is INDEED a special creature!