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Complicated

I really dig complex men. Those extremely cerebral types really do it for me. In the past, my questionable choices in men have often backfired on me. I think part of problem was that I was often drawn to the tortured soul. In my head, I glamorized their personality as complex and complicated. Someone who thought deeper, felt intense emotions, and challenged me. Yeah, NO.

The reality was they didn’t think all that deeply, their emotions stayed on the “cold” side, and I wasn’t being challenged, I was being barked at and berated. It took some heart break and a restraining order to realize that crazy is not the same as complicated.

A truly complicated, complex person won’t hide behind empty rhetoric or ambiguity. They may start out guarded, but they will give you access when you have proven yourself trustworthy. Then you peel away the layers and realize that complex can be a very positive attribute.

I don’t want to paint all complex people with the same brush. I still feel drawn to the “complex” type, but I think I have improved my selection skill now. It’s like a hidden prerequiste that I don’t outright tell the men I date that I am looking for in a man.

One of our MIA Blog men, Mr. W8. got me to thinking about this kind of “hidden qualifier”, when he posed a couple of great questions:

What are those things that you know that you want in a potential mate, but you never reveal it? Perhaps you just wait to see if they do (or show) it on their own so they won’t fake it.

Have you ever dated someone and they do (or say something) that you never knew you needed but it spoke to your soul and now you can’t live without it? What was it? How did you handle it?

Is being complicated and complex a liability or an asset on the dating scene?

697 comments Add your comment

Poppa Grande

July 21st, 2009
4:09 pm

Sookie has the power to read minds, which has caused her problems both in platonic relationship and romantic ones.

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:10 pm

PGSookie is a vampire from the Charlaine Harris series of books from which HBOs series “True Blood” is based. Anna Paquin plays Sookie on the show.

aahhh, gotcha….I’ll stay with either Medusa or lurker for now…I’ll pass on the Sookie

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:11 pm

I’m feelin myself right now and it feels good

Should we ask or be afraid to?

Gerald

July 21st, 2009
4:11 pm

Actually, I didn’t. We’d met for coffee. It was my first time seeing her in nearly 20 years. Before the end of the evening, she was on her knees in front of me. I never got my shoes off or my pants past my ankles. I bent her over the trunk of my car.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
4:12 pm

@SexyCool- greatpost

W8 – I was just relaying the advice you always give me when I get riled up.LOL!! I know you are all MAN!

@Kimmie- ahhh you used my Jedi mind tricks on me

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
4:12 pm

Sexycool…the list…the list…the list Sis.

Lawd, i am crying. I’ll take “i’m hood” for 300, Alex.

mytw♥cents...Superstar

July 21st, 2009
4:12 pm

W8 Daaaamn You ain’t gotta tell errybody what I be textin you bout! As punishment I won’t say nuthin trife for 2 days & no threats of violence either.

IV Real why come your recap ain’t tell me what I’m sposed to save W8 from, whose actin childish & when we gotta start posting our email addresses?

MOCA loca tata yaya You in here lil sis? Hey hooch.
Hi Wisey! Need a mojito?

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
4:12 pm

S COOL – A trick.. Dang who is that?

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:13 pm

Gerald’s 4:11….what the heck did I miss today?

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
4:13 pm

Scorned…

It’s funny you bring that up because this morning I told Mason I was not talking to him because I am a scorned woman. LOL He wrote me a note on a post-it asking me to forgive him and if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Check yes or no.

But yep that’s me. Scorned, Scorned NoMo and now Radiant Ardent Quaint Intensity.

kimmie-just being me & that's enough

July 21st, 2009
4:13 pm

Gerald – Just stop. Try & retain what little dignity you have.

Looks like both women dodged a bullet.

Mo (aka Moeisha-Feeling 'Some Kind of Blue')

July 21st, 2009
4:13 pm

W8 – I would like to be a fly on the wall….

Cemeeli – i’ll just chill witcha chica, my people stay right over that way off Ashby (oh sorry LOWERY) and Parsons. Somebody will get us chica

W8©

July 21st, 2009
4:14 pm

@Gerald- Random sex….it happens…I aint judging you…lol..but I dont think I could let a chick who I thought was 40lbs overweight get close enough to do that…but hey thats just me..

Rell - not complex

July 21st, 2009
4:14 pm

Wise Diva

July 21st, 2009
4:15 pm

Thanks W8 for the questions. Man, ya’ll are going in on dude

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
4:16 pm

“She was loud, materialistic, boastful and about 40 pounds overweight. She never matured. She has nothing I need or want.

- but you slept with her player…THANK YOU, RELL. She most certainly had something you wanted and you took it w/o a second thought.

Say it ain’t so, say it ain’t so. Another one bites the dust!!!!

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:16 pm

Radiant Ardent Quaint Intensity….not bad R A Q I

Gerald

July 21st, 2009
4:17 pm

She set herself up to be used that way. As to the 40 pounds, I’m a sucker for great oral skills.

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:17 pm

Gerald- LMAO!! You are a DAMN Lie but maybe not if you in the “A”

Melo

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

Looks like both women dodged a bullet

Kimmie,u know how i can look at that bullet statement ur way and mine too,right? :lol:

20 years no see and then, one night!,here.. :arrow: bullet.

u brave Gerald!

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

lol @ Demi. Some times i be like “o really”…and just gon and take it to the head.

Congrats bruh.

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

Random sex…say no more… that says it all. I ain’t going back to read whatever it is he wrote but heck that summed it up

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

@mqew, see For Real’s 3:45 to start things off.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

Funny how things have changed.. I remember the day Raqi changed her name from scorned to scorned no mo and then RAQI. I remember when Scorned and THE INFAMOUS DK used to get it on.. So much so shortly after that I changed my name to THE FILTHY VILLAINOUS DK cause the whole blog hated me and I hated them.

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

Gerald- How many lbs overweight are you? Honestly

Professor

July 21st, 2009
4:18 pm

Gerald how old are you? I had you in one age range, but the 20 years just threw me off

W8©

July 21st, 2009
4:19 pm

I know I know I know who the blog trick is…ohhh I l know I know (raising my hand like a anxious school kid..lokks at kimmie and puts my hand back down…above the fray above the fray)

@My2- NO violence is good

@Mo- you better tell that fly to get off that wall and get on the ground cuz it will get shot if it doesnt..lol

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:19 pm

this blog is funny as heck….

Grace

July 21st, 2009
4:19 pm

I’m loving the way my skin feels, I went old school and brought some Jergens cocoa butter skin lotion…..I haven’t used Jergens since I was a kid….@ LURKER :lol: :lol:

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:19 pm

Melo- You get the middle finga

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
4:20 pm

Don’t fret mytwo, it’s more than you sending text.

Yoooou are not alone. Lol…

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
4:20 pm

Lurker why not just stick with “Lurker” but add in a special character or symbol that makes it unique.

Who wants a job shredding cheese? Start with the smoked gouda.

lurker

July 21st, 2009
4:20 pm

THE FILTHY VILLAINOUS DK….wow ‘member that too…I been here a long time

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:20 pm

I am CONVINCED W8 has majah ISSUSES!! SMDH

Poppa Grande

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

Lurker

I didn’t expect you to pick Sookie. Who really wants to known as a vampire?

Medusa was a gorgon(which means terrible or loud roaring creature) and got the venemous snakes from Athena as punishment.

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

Cee- You going in.. Let me find out who is texting my baby daddy besides mytwo.. :evil:

kimmie-just being me & that's enough

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

Melo – As soon as I typed it, I KNEW you would take it that way.LOL!! But you know what? Either way works!!LOL!!

SexyCool - Sometimes, you feel like a nut.

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

Grace – “I’m feelin myself right now and it feels good.”

Keep up that amazing energy girl. Isn’t it awesome?

Melo

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

what i do Cam?

mqew

July 21st, 2009
4:21 pm

Thanks SexyL

Professor

July 21st, 2009
4:22 pm

Lioness Gerald has a 6-pack and is built like Zeus….

kimmie-just being me & that's enough

July 21st, 2009
4:22 pm

W8 – Come over and sit yourself down. Time out!LOL!!

Mo (aka Moeisha-Feeling 'Some Kind of Blue')

July 21st, 2009
4:23 pm

W8 – alright Mr Trigga Happy, calm down!! LMAO

SexyCool - Sometimes, you feel like a nut.

July 21st, 2009
4:23 pm

And I just want to post a disclaimer – That is NOT a sexual nut. :)

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
4:23 pm

“She set herself up to be used that way. As to the 40 pounds, I’m a sucker for great oral skills.” How the heck did you know she had great oral skills if you hadn’t seen her in 20 years. Not all things get better w/time (although that act should)….focus…her first lick of your or slurp of you wasn’t an indicator of her skills, you just got greedy and went in for the kill. Call a spade a spade!

Demigod33 (via PDA)

July 21st, 2009
4:23 pm

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:24 pm

Professor & Sexxsay- Ya’ll a damn lie! :lol: :lol:

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
4:25 pm

Not all things get better w/time<– Most of the time things get better with wine :)

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
4:25 pm

Lurker its been a long road I’ve been hoe’in.. I went from THE INFAMOUS to THE VILLANOUS and back.. I’m a helluva dude.

Wise – if you are out there.. (I feel like I’m talking to the WIZ)

I need to find some quotes I said.. The one about the castle draw bridge and the one where I said I was lost in the forest dirt biking my way back home or something to that effect.. Make that happen for me deary.. (claps his hands) Chop Chop!!

Melo

July 21st, 2009
4:25 pm

Did any of u catch Bill Oreilly last nite,showing the gay weather man, who had a coackroach roll up on his pants??

Wish u all did..was funny as hell!!!!