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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Complicated

I really dig complex men. Those extremely cerebral types really do it for me. In the past, my questionable choices in men have often backfired on me. I think part of problem was that I was often drawn to the tortured soul. In my head, I glamorized their personality as complex and complicated. Someone who thought deeper, felt intense emotions, and challenged me. Yeah, NO.

The reality was they didn’t think all that deeply, their emotions stayed on the “cold” side, and I wasn’t being challenged, I was being barked at and berated. It took some heart break and a restraining order to realize that crazy is not the same as complicated.

A truly complicated, complex person won’t hide behind empty rhetoric or ambiguity. They may start out guarded, but they will give you access when you have proven yourself trustworthy. Then you peel away the layers and realize that complex can be a very positive attribute.

I don’t want to paint all complex people with the same brush. I still feel drawn to the “complex” type, but I think I have improved my selection skill now. It’s like a hidden prerequiste that I don’t outright tell the men I date that I am looking for in a man.

One of our MIA Blog men, Mr. W8. got me to thinking about this kind of “hidden qualifier”, when he posed a couple of great questions:

What are those things that you know that you want in a potential mate, but you never reveal it? Perhaps you just wait to see if they do (or show) it on their own so they won’t fake it.

Have you ever dated someone and they do (or say something) that you never knew you needed but it spoke to your soul and now you can’t live without it? What was it? How did you handle it?

Is being complicated and complex a liability or an asset on the dating scene?

697 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:24 pm

Tazzee The dryer balls make the cheap towels smell good. that’s all mami. :)

funny.

Melo

July 21st, 2009
3:25 pm

I asked her if she would tell her friend. She said no

Gerald,so how u holding up urself??,feeling sense of guilt,oops or whatever!??

U think u going back to chic for favors or u waiting till she cals u??
watchu gon do playa?? (altho i think u be wondering too,did she or did she not tell,right?)

For Real

July 21st, 2009
3:25 pm

Lets see what the happs on the Blog today:

- God – Imma just gon cross my fangas real tight
- Apparently W8 and Pusha Gurl are trying to see whose is the longest
- W8 don’t hurt them in Spain. Do me favor have few of them call you For Real for me.
- Leggs has reviewed the length of W8 and Pusha Gurl and the winner is W8.
- Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter. do men think they have a big wang when it is OK? – Sometimes ain’t nothing wrong with the shovel it the hole.
- Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind don’t matter. – Huggie Bear said the samethang once in Starky & Hutch.
- Page said OMG and wang in the same sentence – I knew you knew what a wang was.
- Man Grace puddie has been business
- Guys stop and watch women IMO not only because they are quite visual creatures, but they are creatures of habit. – I hate to disappoint you but it’s not that deep. Men watch women cause wait for it, wait for it, WE LIKE WOMEN!
- Apparently W8 opened it up for Kimmie and Kimmie thought it was good
- A poem by W8 dela Soulnificient – See what happens when a brother watches Love Jones too many times!
- Abc I agree with you about Kenny G – Oh my dayumm I agreed with abc I wonder sign of the apocalypse is that one
- I think I have PMS – Awwww dayummm Raqi finna get pregnant again
- Grace “Puddy Power” Jones
- Apparently Page does something for 3 day and then gets really tired.
- For real…..hate I missed it. – Well hold on… can you feel it now?
- “maybe tomorrow my tongue will be all up Demi’s butt.” – For Real is next in line…. Don’t judge me…
- I got a couple of those dryer balls – I thought you gave Mase some?

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
3:26 pm

(..Booty Do.. Her Booty looks betta than her face do)

LOL…@buttaface

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:26 pm

W8 Lemme get that card back, folk. My tank’s on E.

Grace

July 21st, 2009
3:26 pm

Ever notice the ones who claim that the blog doesnt matter to them are the ones who bring the most drama? Or is that just me and my perceptions?? Speak!! :wink:

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:26 pm

I mean why you get on here and type daily about how there is to much drama on the blog…then in person you are talking about the same drama that you despise?

Ce/Jam/Kimmie/ My2- Helllllpp I am trying not to go there

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
3:27 pm

Infamous??? =O

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:27 pm

Raqi said Balls..

Infamous breaks out into his Beavis and Butthead laugh. Heh heh heh

Gerald

July 21st, 2009
3:28 pm

I’m done with the first friend. She was loud, materialistic, boastful and about 40 pounds overweight. She never matured. She has nothing I need or want.

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:29 pm

@ W8 – Above the fray…above the fray… you said. I act on.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:29 pm

W8 – You aint tell me I’mma have a patna in Spain.. I’ll be out to the Dominican Thursday evening..

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
3:30 pm

Tazzee you put them in with you laundry in the dryer and the help make it soft and fluffy. It also helps cut down on the drying time. The fluffiness moreso than the shorter time. I got mine at BBandY.

Melo

July 21st, 2009
3:30 pm

But the mere fact that I saw the booty and felt it was my duty
a dap and nod to u playa! :lol:

(Booty Do…Her Booty looks betta than her face do) thats the official meaning?? thanx,u know me,myself,mandingo ask way too many qstions and for negroe clarifications)

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:30 pm

@ W8 – It’s all cool homie. Just let that slide.

Grace

July 21st, 2009
3:30 pm

go there W8 go there W8 go there W8 phu-leeze go there W8

Leggs

July 21st, 2009
3:31 pm

@ForReal, the question was why men watch “bowlegged women” so intently. Hell, you guys look for the gap in all women. I honestly know it’s not that deep and that’s not why you really look. I could get raw w/it, but chose not to.

mean why you get on here and type daily about how there is to much drama on the blog…then in person you are talking about the same drama that you despise? HAAAAAAAAAAAA, need to wipe the spit off my keyboard!!!!!!!!!

Tazzee - in need of some beach time

July 21st, 2009
3:31 pm

Mo – I don’t know how I slept on Anthony Hamilton, but after seeing him in concert, I gotta get all his CDs. Lalah Hathaway too.

Cemeeli – those cheap towels are a result of me registering for some nice navy blue towels for a housewarming and a cheap guest bringing me some cheap Wal-Mart towels. That is why I don’t register – just bring me some gift cards…

But I won’t throw them away – those towels are reserved for guests…

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
3:31 pm

DK- Man, I am getting my bday destination together TONIGHT!! Dominican Republic is the business!

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
3:31 pm

Awwww dayummm Raqi finna get pregnant again

ForReal You better stop playing. LOL

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
3:32 pm

LOL Infamous. Yep dem balls.

SexyCool - Get ya popcorn ready!

July 21st, 2009
3:33 pm

Taz – Next slumber party at your house, I’m bringing my own towel. LOL!

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
3:33 pm

(I’m done with the first friend. She was loud, materialistic, boastful and about 40 pounds overweight. She never matured. She has nothing I need or want.)

Yet, you will still try to cut it though…

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:34 pm

lol@Gerald you realized that after you knocked her off a few times..lol..now thats funny…I aint judging you though

@Ce- thank you…above the fray…above the fray

@DK- lol seems like all the brothers are becoming more international…lmao

@For Real- No comment on grounds that it may incriminate me in a court of law..lol

Raqi

July 21st, 2009
3:34 pm

Tazzee you better leave those cheap towels alone. Those dang things feel like sandpaper no matter how much fabric softener you use.

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
3:35 pm

Leggs/Poppa – If ya’ll don’t lee me ‘lone. I’m trying to get my crown and trophy back! Lol

DK/Leggs – Grown folks and lying in the same sentence. Dayum shame.

…now throwing a bunch of capsules of Tylenol PM in the air, like rice at a wedding….while humming “whatcha neeeeed?…Dyc in’ ya life…whatcha need? Dyc in’ ya life…Hey-ho, hey-ho…can a figga get sumthin’ to go?…hey black, hey black…can a figga hit from the back?….hey red, hey red…can a figga get some head? and do it baby, stick it baby, do it baby, stick it baby…uh, do it baby, stick it…uh, stick it baby, do it! LOL

Hey Demi , do you remember these ^^^ booty songs from back in the day? I just thought about it. I used to laugh my azz off at the lyrics and smh.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:36 pm

Gerald – You again.. Dude you are a grwon man. If you 1 hunnid you would just ist them both down and explain it to them.. Instead of being a liar and cheat.

He goes some free game.

Hey Shameka and Boobina – I am so glad the two of you could come.. Would you all care for a drink. The reason I called you here today is this. I have a problem and I know you two ladies can help me fix it

Shameka & Boobina – What it is baby anything for you.

Lame Gerald – Well its apparent that Shameka I like you but I think I like you in a different capacity that I did in college and where I am in my life your friend is more suited for what I need at this point. Please dont be upset but Boobina would you take my hand and go to love land..

See its easy and simple and the truth is always much better than lying and trying to be sneaky. Or if you are a amateur for real tell them on separate occasions so no ones feelings will be hurt and Shameka will help you get Boobina if ya got a million dollar mouth piece. See it aint what you saying its how you saying it.. Player.

Gerald

July 21st, 2009
3:36 pm

Like I said yesterday, I did not turn down what was freely given. Afterwards, I looked down and thought to myself, “What did me and my dick just do?”

lurker

July 21st, 2009
3:36 pm

AREDWhy is everyone making such a big deal about Friday’s blog? Just asking because it seemed to warrant a lot of discussion yesterday too.

Actually, I haven’t been on, had a few down moments, attempted to skim and catch up but stopped right where I saw the “come get me, I’m adversting on a blog” post under my moniker…..yep I said “my” moniker…lol I stopped there, didn’t finish Friday’s nor have I read any of yesterday’s. Honestly, not really interesting enough to paddle through so much riff raft. If I ain’t reading and posting as the day progress, more than likely I’m not going to meddle and wad through a buttload of comments. So, no I don’t know what the hype was about yesterday. I actually thought it was funny, someone posting the “come get me” ad as if it was me. Seriously, it ain’t that deep where I have dibs on the “lurker” moniker. Just being funny. Actually doesn’t really matter if someone does impersonate or try and “sabatoge” my blog persona….like I said, it ain’t that deep, I don’t know anybody here and vice versa.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:37 pm

W8 – Internationally known, nationally recognized and locally accepted.

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:37 pm

Tazzee So i get the rough cheap towel? That’s how you treat a guest…auw man!

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
3:38 pm

(See its easy and simple and the truth is always much better than lying and trying to be sneaky)

True…you get invited to a lot of lesbian parties that most men only see on flicks.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:41 pm

Lioness – Santo Domingo Thursday& Friday Santiago Sat&Sun Then Puerto Plata for the week until Thursday

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:41 pm

@Grace-nnnoooo waayyyyyyyy..lol

Mo (aka Moeisha-Feeling 'Some Kind of Blue')

July 21st, 2009
3:41 pm

Ok Im just gonna post up in this corner on the couch and lurk….

Cemeeli – you were on popcorn duty today chica, so whatcha got

And can somebody fix ya gurl a drink?

Oh wassup For Real..

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:42 pm

Tazzee Did youo really sleep in Anthony? How long? I’m stunned. I’ve liked his style for years, even when he first hit the industry.

Jamoca's the Sweetest Thing You'd Ever Know

July 21st, 2009
3:42 pm

W8 – Naw man, Don’t fall for the ‘ol bait n’ catch em…you know better, now do better. ;) …otherwise ya’ folk gotchu.

Lmao at Ballwood and Leggs with her slabbery monitor and keyboard! LOL

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:42 pm

@Alvin- LOL now I know you are coming to guys night at the comedy club…lol

lurker

July 21st, 2009
3:43 pm

I meant muddle and wad….

Cemeeli

July 21st, 2009
3:43 pm

Mo – I’ll pass you a serving of this jalapeno and cheddar popcorn. Good eats sis.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:44 pm

SO I have to work this evening maybe..on call…do you think it’s a bad idea to meet the realtor at the house in all of my gear and body armor with weapons and grenades attached?

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:44 pm

You know what.. I’ve been sleeping with someone on the blog since we had the e-mail addresses on front street.

W8©

July 21st, 2009
3:45 pm

LMAO@DK- TMI TMI TMI

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
3:46 pm

DK- That is what I am talking about! My homegirl is from DR & Puerto Plata is the ish!!! You are going to have a BALL!

Alvin- ATL is notorious for off the CHARTS partays

Mo (aka Moeisha-Feeling 'Some Kind of Blue')

July 21st, 2009
3:46 pm

W8 – I damn near choked on this popcorn!! You are stoopid!! LMAO!

Melo

July 21st, 2009
3:46 pm

What did me and my dick just do?”

Now!! Melo may not agree with u on everyting,but that there :arrow: ,I repeat,What did me and my dick just do shld have been made a playa’s anthem,long time ago!

See it aint what you saying its how you saying it…Player.
thats dope,DK!

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
3:46 pm

DK- Get it IN!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 21st, 2009
3:47 pm

Shs’s my Boo..

It started on a hot afternoon and I got a e-mail that says you dont know me but I smell what youre cooking..

I said is that right.. What do you smell.

She said A whole lot of home cooking. Why dont you come to me home and teach me the recipe.

Tune in Next Time to see what Infamous and his Boo does next and see if he will reveal the name of “his Boo”

Lioness-

July 21st, 2009
3:48 pm

DK- I missed reading your crazy tail!

Alvin

July 21st, 2009
3:48 pm

Just left the men’s restroom…some of these men need their wang check…blood in your pee at cool.