Forgive and forget?
When you are fresh off a painful break up you aren’t always thinking clearly. If your ex has been particularly grimy and awful to you, you probably want them to feel the same amount of distress that they inflicted on you. This is when you need a voice of reason (not a partner in crime!) to talk you off the crazy cliff.
I’m not the type to exact revenge on men who have wronged me. I’ve done my own dirt and karma has visited my address, plenty of times. Sometimes it’s really best to let go and move on.
I have to admit that there are those moments that I think about getting revenge on an ex-boyfriend though. I dwell on it for a few hours and start cooking up some crazy idea to make him miserable. Do you ever think of an ex who you hurt you? How do you let all that go?
Have you ever done something crazy and irresponsible to get back at an ex? Did it make you feel better at all?
How do you learn to forgive and forget without taking revenge?
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287 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
10:44 am
because they seem like experts.
Don’t they,though. I totally understand speaking from experience….YOUR OWN experience. What I dislike is when some come here speaking as if their experiences make up the sum total of ALL dating interactions…for everybody and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Or what about instead of coming with some stats they generalize by broadstroking and making blanket statements that only apply to a very miniscule portion of the population…chile puhleaze.
czBrat
July 20th, 2010
10:45 am
with chubby wives/girlfriends in tow!LOL!!
now THAT’S awesome!!
M. (pronouced Mdot)
July 20th, 2010
10:46 am
@Sassy
“So umm does that mean you likey M?”
Im confused what you meant by the statement above.
I know there are crazy guys out here. Remember that guy that gunned his girlfriend down in front of the Bank Of America building downtown? There are guys who are weak minded and lose it if some regular chick leaves them. Get another female!
I think Guy’s craziness happens but is not on display like women. Anyone ever seen Snapped on the Oxygen network? Explain that foolishness! lol
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
10:46 am
It would just be my luck to do something stupid to a dude’s property and have it end violently for me
@ Kimmie same here!, I’ve never done property damage cause we will have a major problem if dude comes around trying to do some property damage to my ish.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
10:48 am
chile puhleaze
@ sassy you been watching ochocino
you know he loves that phrase
kimmie
July 20th, 2010
10:49 am
I’ve never done property damage cause we will have a major problem if dude comes around trying to do some property damage to my ish.
Princess – Oh yeah, don’t touch my stuff! Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing!
Dig That
July 20th, 2010
10:50 am
It would just be my luck to do something stupid to a dude’s property and have it end violently for me
Glad you guys are using your head because I grew up on Bankhead and I have seen very violent endings.
Lady-Resilient!!
July 20th, 2010
10:50 am
I am well sir thanks!
kimmie
July 20th, 2010
10:51 am
I think Guy’s craziness happens but is not on display like women.
So you don’t call the evening news or Cops on display?!
blue-7/30
July 20th, 2010
10:52 am
@kimmie – lol. beerb bellies and all, lol. gotta love those. the cheaters who get cheated on. the buff who gain a million pounds. the “im better than you”s working a job their embarassed to tell anyone about. priceless.
is why do so many of them have to be soooo overboard. i mean, you shoot her once, shes dead. she doesnt know you shot her 27 more times. you havent “shown” her aything at that point.
@M – Snapped….scary show dude…..lol. guys craziness most definietly exists. what has me all
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
10:52 am
Kimmie,
pre-motherhood, when i was living on my own, I kept a “problemsolver” on ready. I do not play that, keep your hands to yourself, and keep your hands off stuff that doesn’t belong to you.
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
10:53 am
The dude that took the chick’s money was a bigger azz than she was stupid. KNOWING he was done with her. Doesn’t matter how much of an ex or how dumb the chick was, he got it by lying. If she was that much of an ex, then he should have been bumming off his current.
For sure it’s me I get what you’re saying. They were both stupid if you ask me. My friend knew what she was doing when she keyed old girl’s truck and her child’s father knew she’d done it. See whenever he broke up with her she’d use their daughter as a reason to see him but it just didn’t work so she got desperate/stoopid. Was it worth it…it never is.
You know what cz maybe you can see it coming with some but there are a few who you really just don’t know about…the unassuming ones. I get your point though cause hindsight is 20/20….sometimes it’s hard to see when you’re caught up.
Luvbug
July 20th, 2010
10:57 am
No revenge in my past. I’ve wished to get over a person sooner than the rate I was going, but I’ve not wanted to hurt any of my past lovers(so far). ..okay I just wanted to type lovers. LOL
I’ve had one or two who acted up after the breakup…one stalking…the other keeping contact to rail from time to time about me not being so perfect. Long story short, he found religion and start acting like a zealot around me.
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
10:57 am
Im confused what you meant by the statement above.
Did you like the moniker?…that’s all. Sorry if I confused you.
you been watching ochocino…you know he loves that phrase
Princess waaay before the show he starting saying that as a way to say eff you….but since he couldn’t say that on tv and in interviews he started saying “chile pleaze”. So whenever you heard him say that you know he really meant something else.
kimmie
July 20th, 2010
10:58 am
a few who you really just don’t know about…the unassuming ones.
Sassy – Those are the ones that scare me the most! I deal better with someone that’s just all “out” with their crazy!
blue-7/30
July 20th, 2010
10:58 am
It would just be my luck to do something stupid to a dude’s property and have it end violently for me
theres the problem, cause i think most women have a crazy bone, but not all women have a criminal bone, and you need that criminal to get away with the stuff. without it, you go to his house to key his car and brick his windwos, and somehow get run over as he pulls out of the driveway. emts come, ask what happened and u blurt the whole thing out. off to the er in handcuffs……
Dig That
July 20th, 2010
10:58 am
@Lady- How was Savannah?
Heather
July 20th, 2010
10:58 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dfZyfckKPk
Raqi
July 20th, 2010
10:59 am
czBrat, it’s very much an issue of being possessive in those instances. And in some instances I do believe they person wants the other to hurt but they take it waaaay too far. Insanity takes over.
It’s me…lurker, so it is safe to say that we all have our breaking point. LOL One thing I believe about the flawed human being is we all have our points. That point that will bring us to tears. That point that will bring us to violence. Even a point for those that feel that life is utter depression. There is something that can shed a ray of sunshine over them.
DigThat Yep. The lesser of the two evils.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
11:00 am
Sassy
I know
, I didn’t realize he and Keyshawn Johnson are cousins though I was watching some countdown on NFL channel and came across that info.
Lady-Resilient!!
July 20th, 2010
11:01 am
Dig That I truly enjoyed myself!!!!! A good and quick getaway!!!!! The Melting Pot is a great restaurant and eating brunch on River Street always ROCKS!!!!!! Thanks for asking!
How was your weekend?
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:01 am
Oh yeah, don’t touch my stuff! Don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing!
True,true…
kimmie
July 20th, 2010
11:01 am
blue – Your 10:58 – priceless! No, I don’t have enough of that ‘hood criminal in me! But somehow I’m okay with that!LOL!
Lady-Resilient!!
July 20th, 2010
11:02 am
good assessment blue!!!!!!
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:02 am
I didn’t know they were related either Princess…
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
11:04 am
yeah Sassy Like 2nd or 3rd cousins I believe
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:08 am
Sasssssssssssssy I could not bring myself to watch the ochocinco show, and the same with TO after he asked that stupid question about a head wrap.
@PK yes there is a certain feeling when you say, “I don’t have time for this mess I am 30 years old.” For some reason you sound real grown with a tad bit of authority.
anonymousella
July 20th, 2010
11:10 am
How do you let all that go?
never had an ex be grimey towards me. but my last relationship stung like a nest full of japanese wasps.
how did i let it go? i realized slowly that he wasn’t good for me or to me. i got angry and resentful — not at him but at myself for not seeing things sooner. as soon as that fool said didn’t like dogs, i should have bounced. but i was on some “oh, give him a chance. get to know him b.s.” and wound up losing myself.
then i realized that i had no idea what to do next. at some point, i thanked him for my freedom — that would have been a seriously unhappy marriage — and figured out what i’d like to do next. so now, i am working that out.
czBrat
July 20th, 2010
11:14 am
LOL @ blue. the criminal mind is most def an amazing thing. i could never think up the stuff those folks get into (and get away with).
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:14 am
Dirty Di-anaaaaaaa I’ve watched a few bits n pieces of T.O.’s show and I have to admit that the episode with him going back home and finally making piece with his father brought me to tears b/c of my own situation(or lack thereof). It also did something to me to see him cry…it showed his humanity.
Now as for Chad’s show…never made it past the first 10 mins of the first episode…just can’t do it.
czBrat
July 20th, 2010
11:16 am
where’s leggs
where’s sexyc 
swiss 
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:16 am
should’ve been *peace* not piece…but I digress
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:17 am
Sassssssssy I saw the episode when he made peace with his daddy. Now, I got tired of Chad when he was on DWTS
Melo
July 20th, 2010
11:17 am
as soon as that fool said didn’t like dogs, i should have bounced.
LOL
I dont like cats either!
Gina
July 20th, 2010
11:17 am
Watching him walk out of my life did not make me bitter or cynical about love. Rather it made me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how wonderful it will be when the right one comes along!
To Be perfectly honest the worst break-up that I ever had was with my BFF – far worse than with any man.
blue-7/30
July 20th, 2010
11:18 am
@Diana, Princess, Lady, cz – “I don’t have time for this mess I am 30 years old.” yeah got that feeling, like time for me to get a move on and those of who still wana stay the same as youve always be, dont have time. less patience for mess, drama, and all the rest. looking forward to taking some time to get to know me a little better. got married, had kids young, so seems always been wife/mom. who else is in there? already found out short hair isnt really for me, but lets try some other things…am i really a dog person? maybe im, oh, a parakeet person….who knows
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:18 am
thanked him for my freedom…and figured out what i’d like to do next. so now, i am working that out.
That’s what’s up ella….onward and upward…
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:24 am
Now, I got tired of Chad when he was on DWTS
Never watched him on that show….however I did hear recently that he had the hots for his Latina dance partner…hence the uproar over the choice of women thus far on his show…you know the tandard Beckys and a slew of Latinas n such…and maybe ONE of us. But to each his own.
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:25 am
@Blue I feel you on that 11:18. I made a lot of changes my late 20s moving into my 30s. Some of my goals took a while to wrap my arms around…I had to do a few things at a time. Overall I feel my 30s are better than my 20s, and I bet my 40s will be the bomb.
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
11:26 am
Sassy & Diana
I Love T.O. Show, although Mo gets on my nerves! But Chad, I only like seeing his homeboy “B-Twice”
he is quite handsome.
Melo
July 20th, 2010
11:26 am
I cant wait for 2.00 pm when the topic will proly change!
Today kinda feels like some Ol’ Time Sake Misery Convention in blogshere!
Ur fault WD.
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:27 am
Sasssy my mom stopped watching DWTS because of him…he bought his dance partner a diamond ring and a diamond necklace. I heard a clip from the show Wendy Williams did with him asking him about how all he had on his show was Maria and Becky….he gave a real BS answer and the crowd did not clap or say anything.
Lady-Resilient!!
July 20th, 2010
11:31 am
Blue I feel ya!
LMBAO SILLY AT MELO! hot mess!
alrighty gang off to study!
Peace!
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:31 am
Melo,
I cant wait for 2.00 pm when the topic will proly change!
I say you change the topic now, and tell us a good story or something you did before you married Queen
Does anyone have change for a $10 or $.80 I want some cheetoes out the vending machine?
Dirty Diana ♠
July 20th, 2010
11:32 am
Lady have fun preparing for class!
Where is Mister Lurker?
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:32 am
On the real Princess I’v always thought of T.O as a pompous a**hole b/c his football antics but seeing the parts of his show that I have thus far, has shown another side of him. What I find interesting is the vulnerability that’s instantly present on his face when convos of his ex come up. You get so see that other T.O..
blue-7/30
July 20th, 2010
11:32 am
@melo – lol, was wondering where all the guys got to
Sassy Me...Chocolate Cutey :-)
July 20th, 2010
11:33 am
You get *to* see…
PrincessNik..0727 'bout dat time
July 20th, 2010
11:35 am
Sassy, EXACTLY my thoughts also. I love the fact that he is trying to grow as a person. Not to mention he has a banging body O M G.
kimmie
July 20th, 2010
11:38 am
blue- I don’t think they’re able to take over this topic like they did yesterday, thus the crickets from the guys!