Do I Know You?
After reading reports that have emerged about the young lady that killed Steve McNair, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the girl. Like Ms. Kazemi, I think that there are many of us who are dealing with stress and anxiety but we never show it outwardly. The person we are dating could be under a tremendous amount of pressure and we don’t truly know what it’s about or how they are dealing with it.
When it comes to new relationships, how much do we really share with one another? We would probably be apprehensive to divulge the personal secrets and private matters because it would run the person off. At what point do you let someone in?
Sometimes being too guarded and mysterious hinders a new relationship, and in Mcnair’s case it was deadly. How well do you know the person you are seeing? When do they gain access?
I remember when I was seeing a guy for a few weeks and purposely being vague about where my office was located. He kept wanting to come take me to lunch, insisting that he would pick me up. While it was a sweet gesture, I had to say “Look, don’t take this the wrong way, but I am not comfortable letting you know where I live/work, yet” I did not like how he reacted to this because I thought he would be more understanding. A single woman living in the city can never be too careful. I advised him to be selective in who he shares personal information with as well.
Do you ever worry about bringing the wrong person in to your life? How do you safeguard yourself? After you do the general check for “the crazy”, what other things do you observe about the person you are seeing?
Have you ever met someone who misrepresented themselves completely? How did you handle it?
Happy Monday!
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© 2009 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
560 comments Add your comment
DJ Demi
July 13th, 2009
8:49 am
Do you ever worry about bringing the wrong person in to your life?
Nope, Demi is covered by the blood of JESUS-ha!!
How do you safeguard yourself?
By not dating church women who attend chuch seven days of the week-ha
After you do the general check for “the crazy”, what other things do you observe about the person you are seeing?
If the woman is pulling a Papa Roach-ha…by saying:
Cut my life into pieces
I’ve reached my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don’t give a f/k
If I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
And I’m contemplating suicide
Cause I’m losing my sight,
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight ,
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell I’m fine
Pretty Wings
July 13th, 2009
8:59 am
Good Morning
As a single woman, you did the right thing by not giving him information to your home and job, I am the same way. Although I may not obsess over it, I am careful and concerned regarding people that want to get to know everything too fast.
The Steve McNair case was a little different – was it her that mis represented or was it him? I say that because when a man starts buying you cars, condo’s and staying at your crib, that sent the wrong messasge to her (no she should not have killed him). But he misrepresented himself to her what their relationship was truly all about. When she found out that she was a “jump-off” she could’nt handle it – she was young you guys know the rest……….
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
9:02 am
It can be hard to find out where someones head REALLY is. I’ve found that if you pay attention to what she says and ask questions a person will tell you all you need to know. (Been divorced 7 times, 3 kids 5 baby daddies, She can run really really fast in high heels) These are just a few things that should set off a silent alarm.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
9:04 am
Happy Monday everyone. Let’s get it!
While I am open about who I am and what makes me tick, I am EXTREMELY guarded about letting a guy know where I work and live and all that. I don’t plan on leaving my job anytime soon and I don’t plan to sell my house either, so it’s gonna take awhile til you get to see the crib. At the very least, I’m gonna see yours first!
As for McNair, I’m sure he had some inkling of the financial pressures she was going through. She worked at Dave and Busters! She was paying rent, and a note on two cars (and one he stuck her with the payments for). I think he just really didn’t care about her all that much. After the DUI he left in a cab without speaking to her. I think it all began to hit home for her just how insignificant she was to him.
Turd Ferguson
July 13th, 2009
9:06 am
She was just getting even with him.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
9:08 am
Good Morning!
LOL Mike Jones. I agree with you. I’m not a fan of the “20 questions” at the initial start of getting to know someone because I think if you just listen and pay attention to what is being said (and sometimes not said) you will find out what you need to know.
Awwwwwwww...Dayum
July 13th, 2009
9:11 am
She can run really really fast in high heels
Awwwwwwww…Dayum, Mike Jone!!!!!
That’s half of the ladies on this blog!!
Run Forest, Run Forest…RUN!!!
By Awwwwwwww…Dayum
Awwwwwwww...Dayum
July 13th, 2009
9:14 am
My baad y’all. Awwwwwwww…Dayum is having trouble adjusting to this Awwwwwwww…Dayum’n format. This new set up is Awwwwwwww…Dayum, not right.
By Awwwwwwww…Dayum
Leggs
July 13th, 2009
9:21 am
Good morning everyone.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:24 am
Good Morning!!
When it comes to new relationships, how much do we really share with one another?
I am a very private person so it is difficult for me to share point blank period. However if I have a vibe with someone and we are spending quality time together than that makes it a lot easier.
At what point do you let someone in? I guess when it feels right. However I do not like to be strong-armed so I am very cautious of guys trying to push themselves on me (asking where I stay, work etc.).
@Pretty Wings I totally agree. Although the car and gifts were pennies to McNair it was big to her. “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure,” or something like that it meant something to her and spending all of that time with her only added more fuel to the fire.
@Mike Jones/Page I agree just listen to what the person is saying. I do this all the time I listen to what I am being told. At what point do you call them out on (when the lies are coming through)?
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:32 am
@ARed, BTW can you even fathom the pressure she was under trying to pay two car notes on a D&B salary???
Sassy Me...juicy fruit callin' out all fakes :-)
July 13th, 2009
9:36 am
When it comes to new relationships, how much do we really share with one another?
There are alot of things we are still learning about each other in th beginning so I usually don’t divulge deep personal information. Eventually as time passes and trust grows I may open up and share some things but even then there are some cards that I will always keep to my chest in that regard.
A single woman living in the city can never be too careful.
I agree with that b/c I’m very guarded with info about where I live and am usually guarded about where I work but trying to get up here is akin to getting in Fort Knox…if you don’t have an id bagde you CAN’T get in and if you’re visiting you have to go through tight security. When it comes to meeting men places I always meke it a public place….I had a guy once suggest we meet at his house and I was like NOT….a single woman in the “A” can never be too careful.
Do you ever worry about bringing the wrong person in to your life? How do you safeguard yourself? After you do the general check for “the crazy”, what other things do you observe about the person you are seeing? Have you ever met someone who misrepresented themselves completely? How did you handle it?
I’ve learned that people willl reveal themselves to you BUT the key is to pay attention…even to something we think is miniscule. After I do the “crazy” check I look,listen and pay attention to what’s said and moreso unsaid.
I meet men who miserpresent themselves on a constant basis one of MC Lytes raps always comes to mind…..PAPER THIN. Once I’ve seen that then I feed ‘em with a looong handled spoon.
Morning blog fam
I HAD A FABULOUS WEEKEND 
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
9:38 am
@Professor Once you realize they are not being truthful there is no point in calling them out. Just keep it moving.
Grace
July 13th, 2009
9:41 am
Good morning and good move WISE in not letting the new guy in your personal space too soon. I too don’t divulge information about where I live or work until we’ve been talking consistantly for a while and I feel I can trust him and let him know my information. I too have lost a number of dates because I wouldn’t let him pick me up from my house. My sister seems to not have a problem meeting a guy on Sunday and having him over on Tuesday. Some people are comfortable with that, but I’m not, there’s way too much crazies out there for me and I’m too suspicious about everything.
abc
July 13th, 2009
9:44 am
While keeping secrets and telling lies is a chick’s way of life, why are you dating someone if you’re afraid to let them know where you work and/or live? That makes no sense to me.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
9:44 am
BTW can you even fathom the pressure she was under trying to pay two car notes on a D&B salary???
Professor – I’m saying.
You know there is a news report with a quote from her cousin or something. He said that McNair liked her because she was “different.” She wanted to pay for things on her own. I assume she was trying to prove to him that she wasn’t just into it for the money, even though she didn’t have any! I’m sure he took advantage of that fact. You should always take care of your side piece right cuz she can always tell the WIFE!
I mean, if you’re gonna willingly sign up for 2nd best (if that) at least get paid for it!
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:46 am
Thanks Mike that is what I usually do, but one of my friends always tells me, “You should have called his azz out.” My feelings are, what’s the point and does it add any value?
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
9:48 am
why are you dating someone if you’re afraid to let them know where you work and/or live? That makes no sense to me.
abc – So it makes more sense to you to invite strangers into your home upon meeting them?
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:48 am
abc…I think they mean early on in the getting to know each other stage. During that stage you doing know if you are dating Ted Bundy or Ted Turner.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:48 am
I meant you don’t know not “doing”
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:50 am
***I mean, if you’re gonna willingly sign up for 2nd best (if that) at least get paid for it!***
Right On!!!
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
9:51 am
Professor- I agree with Mike Jones. For me, if I notice some inconsistencies, I don’t say anything at all. I mean, to me, there is a difference between someone being gaurded and sorta vague (like the work they do) or some specific examples like that, but flat out lying? No, I just keep it moving.
mqew
July 13th, 2009
9:55 am
What up blog fam. Long time no type to.
R.I.P. to both individuals cause obviously issues were alive and well in their lives. McNair should have never got involved with a female that age. That’s absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. What would a grown azz man want with a child? Oh, I know, cause she more likely than not worshipped the ground he walked on. What would a real man want with a baby.
As for baby girl… I cannot imagine my mom being killed. To me, happenstances such as that can either kick you back and make your journey through this thing very difficult or it can catapult you to coming closer to an understanding of this thing called lifeAND how people should treat it.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:55 am
Do you ever worry about bringing the wrong person into your life?
I do, in fact I had a great-aunt (she was killed before I was born) that died at the hands of a boyfriend. So I do think about getting involved with the wrong person. This was further exacerbated when I had a stalker at a previous job. The thing is I never knew the stalker or talked to him he just started bothering me through letters and stuff. I know crazy people are out there roaming I just don’t want them roaming around my house or roaming in my life pretending to be normal.
Off topic: Maxwell owe me $12.83 this CD is so wack!
SexyCool - What's in my pocket, dawg? Big Face Hundreds.
July 13th, 2009
9:57 am
Have you ever met someone who misrepresented themselves completely?
Long story, short – Met a guy that told me he was Puerto Rican, a doctor, never been married and had no kids. Six weeks later, I find out that he is Black, an ex-con registered sex offender, divorced and has a child support case pending. (No further details will be forthcoming on today’s blog.)
Lesson: Ask for I.D. Google can be your friend.
Three Words Daily – Get Plenty Money.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
9:57 am
Hey Page! I guess I was second guessing myself b/c one of my friends always tell me otherwise.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
9:58 am
Off topic: Maxwell owe me $12.83 this CD is so wack!
One of my friend said: “I waited 8 years for 9 songs.”
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
July 13th, 2009
9:58 am
People will show you who they really are, given enough time. You just have to pay attention & actually take your time.
As for the McNair situation… Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s horrible what happened, but realistically, I don’t feel sad for either of them. I feel sad for their families, but both of them were stupid & selfish, and while they certainly didn’t deserve to die, they did both bring this upon themselves. He for being a grown married man & father yet still screwing around w/ a 20-year old (who, by definition are unstable), and she for being too stupid to realize what she really was to him. Honestly, how any woman can buy into the whole “he’s gonna leave his wife & kids because he LOVES me” crap is just beyond me.
mqew
July 13th, 2009
9:59 am
Ared/Prof To me, her signature on the “2nd best” dotted line should be null and void cause she hadn’t lived long enough to know exactly what that really meant.
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:02 am
@AmazonRED and Professor
I totally disagree. This “young” girl put herself in a bad position falling for a celebrity who is married, and then thinking there was potential for the relationship while not relizing she was a JumpOff.
I reserve the right to change my mind if Sanaa Lathan or Gabrielle Union calls me up.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
10:02 am
Girl…yes 8 years for 8 wack azz songs at that…Pretty Wings is the only song on there. In fact, some of the music sounds ok, but he does not sound good singing over the track.
So I guess you can say I got bamboozled by Maxwell, unless one of my blog friends would like to buy it from me…lol
mqew
July 13th, 2009
10:03 am
okay wth happened to my previous post?
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:06 am
SexyCool–I see it pays to do research! Thought he was a Bentley found out he was a Buick with bad brakes! lol
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:06 am
Hey Professor! Yeah, if you have to second guess yourself and play Sherlock Holmes, then, to me, why even bother. BTW, I need some ideas for my 80’s party. I’m trying to think of outfits, but there are soooo many I have in mind. I kinda wanna dress like Salt n Pepa in the Push It video. I can be Pepa, but I’m thinking it won’t work, unless there is a Salt. lol. Then, the other dilemma is that I don’t know if i wanna do 80s caucasian style or 80s black style lol. There is a difference, you know lol.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:09 am
Professor- He sounded pretty ok at the BET awards, which was quite surprising. That show was very hard to watch, but since my parents were here this weekend, my dad happen to catch the re-run of it and started watching it. When I saw Soulja Boy perform, I couldn’t take it anymore lol.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:09 am
I totally disagree
Mike Jones – You totally disagree with what?
M.
July 13th, 2009
10:09 am
Do you ever worry about bringing the wrong person in to your life?
Great topic WD. I definately worry about bringing the wrong person into my anything. Saturday watching the clips from the Steve McNair funeral was horrific. Yes he cheated, He was in the NFL. Not saying all of them cheat. I just felt bad because I am sure the RED FLAGS were there. I just hoped everyone learned from this and has opened their eyes that craziness in dating is not just gender based (all men are crazy or all women are crazy).
It can go both ways, and WD, a single guy in the city can never be to safe…LOL
Question for the Blog: Ladies what are RED FLAGS to you from a guy?
Guys what are RED FLAGS to you from a girl?
Another question for you facebookers, what if you were dating someone and they knew of an ex from the past who was on facebook. How would you feel if they add them as a friend on facebook? They were never friends before and are these grounds for dismissal?
Sorry for the long comment but this is a knowledgable bunch of bloogers!
SexyCool - What's in my pocket, dawg? Big Face Hundreds.
July 13th, 2009
10:10 am
Mike – Actually, it was not about ‘research’. Once I found out that he’d lied about his last name. I simply entered his real name in the Google search engine and everything was right there.
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:10 am
AmazonRed–My B.
I mean, if you’re gonna willingly sign up for 2nd best (if that) at least get paid for it!
mqew
July 13th, 2009
10:11 am
In essence.
R.I.P. to these two individuals whom obviously had issues. McNair messing with a 20 year old, smdh. What grown man would want a 20yr. Oh, I know one who wants someone to worship the ground they walk on yapping at their feet. To me that screams LOSER. Sorry.
And baby girl… I can’t imagine my mom being killed. Happenstances such as that either catapults (sp?) a person to a greater understanding of where you’re not even trying to play with this thing called life OR kicks your but so hard that you go through it with no purpose. Needless to say, living life without a purpose is not going to work!
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 13th, 2009
10:12 am
Let ya’ll teel us men are slow and ya’ll can get over on at will. So with that being said.. Can we really know ya’ll? I’m feeling kinda devilish this morning..
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:12 am
Mike Jones – Why do you disagree? You should at least up your lifestyle in exchange. He took her on trips…none were out of the United States! She was getting gypped.
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:13 am
@SexyCool I feel you, its good to be resourceful!
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:15 am
(why are you dating someone if you’re afraid to let them know where you work and/or live? That makes no sense to me.)
abc…dudes are crazy!!! Fugg…THAT!!! I tell all my home girls to keep all info short and brief. A real man will respect that…you’ll get all the info you need in due time
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:16 am
Hey M! Ok, break down the facebook question again for me, please? I don’t wanna get confused before I answer LOL.
Ballwood
July 13th, 2009
10:17 am
Why can’t women see why a man would want a 20 yr old woman but they seem to understand with great clarity Cougars???
Oh and why are some of feeling sorry for a chick that knew she was dating a married man?
“After you do the general check for “the crazy”, what other things do you observe about the person you are seeing?” –
1. Mouth swab
2. pee in the cup
3. Prostate exam
4. Body odor after workout
5. Check for ish stain in her panties
6. Look on the other side of her mattress
7. How many times does she say ill-regardless
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 13th, 2009
10:17 am
This is what happened.. She got her back beat out like she had never had it beat out before.. She got busted in that DUI thing.. Steve starts to realize this is Micheal Jackson Bad and wanted to break it off. She couldnt live without Russell the love muscle and decided to take it with her.. To H E Double Hockey Sticks.
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:17 am
@AmazonRed I guess thats the differnce between a young girl and Woman with more dating experience.
In my eyes thats where so many females go wrong they get wrapped up in a lifestyle rather than the person. (Not saying you just speaking in general) They end up getting taken advantage of…
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:19 am
(Off topic: Maxwell owe me $12.83 this CD is so wack!)
WTF!?…Folks are still buying whole album??
news to me
M.
July 13th, 2009
10:19 am
@Page1908.
Let’s say you are dating Joe. You guys are talking and one of your ex’s name’s comes up Brian. Joe looks Brian up on facebook. Add’s him as a friend. They never knew each other, met, or anything. If Joe had questions, shouldn’t he ask you rather than adding your ex bf to his friend list? Who know’s what they talk about.
mqew
July 13th, 2009
10:20 am
Bwood. Thas not a man, thas a boy frontin
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:22 am
OMG Filthy! Don’t start lol. It’s still early in the morning! ctfu @ Russell the Love Muscle! *eyes bulging*
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 13th, 2009
10:23 am
S COOL – A registered sex offender.. Dang. Your dating experiences are bout bad as mine.
Like this one.. Went to pick up a friiend this weekend and had never seen her without her hair done. I’m sitting at the bar counter in the kitchen, she flys past so I lean forward looking down the hall. I see this chick pulling her phony tail out the dryer and putting it on fast as greased lightning.. I fell out laughing and she was embarrassed.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:24 am
In my eyes thats where so many females go wrong they get wrapped up in a lifestyle rather than the person. (Not saying you just speaking in general) They end up getting taken advantage of…
Mike Jones – Normally I agree with you, when talking about a real relationship. However, this chick went into it knowing he was married. She served his family chicken fingers, yanno?! She was trying to prove she was into the “man” and not what he could provide, but I mean hello, how was he gonna respect someone who knowingly auditioned for mistress??? She should have just went for the material stuff and the wang.
But yes, she was clearly too young to know the difference.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:25 am
Okkkkkkkkk M, I gotcha now. Well, that’s weird because why would Joe send Brian a FR on FB if they are not friends? I mean, I do know of people doing that, but I have never heard it with exes. Like someone will send me a FR on FB, then I am like “i don’t know them”. So I look on our mutual friends list and I am like “oh ok, that’s my cousin’s friend” or whatever.
I mean, I guess if Brian accepts the FR from Joe, then that’s his choice to do. I agree that Joe should just talk directly to the girl and not talk to the ex Brian, but you really can’t control that, you know.
abc
July 13th, 2009
10:25 am
I would think that it would be more practical to only go on dates with people that you already know well enough that they know where you work and live, and avoid dating those you meet in venues such as bars and nightclubs, online, etc.
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:27 am
(…still screwing around w/ a 20-year old (who, by definition are unstable)
No Ish!!!
Mo (aka Moeisha)
July 13th, 2009
10:27 am
Professor – say it aint so! Maxwell’s is garbage??? Dayum…..
M – red flags…..let me get that together. LOL
Ballwood – wassup
Demi – hey Chocolate Baby!
Professor
July 13th, 2009
10:29 am
Page- for the 80s party I like the Cyndi Lauper punk rock look of that time period (I really like that side). What kind of music are you going to play? I don’t want to dress like Punky Brewster, but I am doing the cabbage patch all night…LOL just kidding (that is how I rolled in the 80s). Hmmm I would say you can be Salt and I will be Pepa, but I would not feel right. My hair was probably about four different lengths back then and I cannot pull that off now.
You are right he sounded good on the awards and he promoted the mess out of this record…I am really disappointed in it.
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 13th, 2009
10:29 am
Which brings me to this statement.. Women misrepresent themselves all the time with weave, BUTT pads, push up bras and make up. I will not truly know you until I wake up with you for about 3 years. I think thats about as long as a person can keep up a facade.
Its ok though. I’m bout to get me some hazel contacts and swear up and down my eyes are real..
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:31 am
abc – So where did you meet your wife/fiance/girlfriend? (I forget what she is to you right now).
And if it’s practical to only go out with people who you know, how do you get to that point? Everyone is a stranger upon meeting. So do you only then start pursuing people who you know after a year or so?
I really don’t get how “practical” your advice is so help me understand.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:31 am
Attention Kimmie- Where are you? Give me your email address, please!! thanks.
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:33 am
THE INFAMOUS DK…LOL. Dang, baby put the hair in the dryer?? WOW
M.
July 13th, 2009
10:33 am
@ Page1908
Cool, but would you be kind of turned off by that and would that be a precursor to potential trust issues?
Mike Jones (who)
July 13th, 2009
10:34 am
@AmazonRed She should have just went for the material stuff and the wang
LOL WWwwwwoowwwwww!
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:37 am
Its ok though. I’m bout to get me some hazel contacts and swear up and down my eyes are real..
DK – But colored contacts never look real. So now every lady you meet will simply think you are GAY.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:38 am
Cool, but would you be kind of turned off by that and would that be a precursor to potential trust issues?
M’ – I’d run faster than Flo Jo. There is no rational excuse for the guy to friend the ex under your scenario.
Pretty Wings
July 13th, 2009
10:39 am
@abc- you gotta watch folks you know too…..I have forbidden my cousin from trying to date anymore of my girlfriends (he has dated 2) as a matter of fact, I have officially univited his azz to anymore gatherings.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:39 am
Professor I love the Cyndi Lauper look too. OMG decisions, lol.
M- Yes, I would be kinda turned off, but not really because you have to be secure no matter what. If Joe wants to contact Brian to ask questions about me, then I say let him do it. There is really nothing you can do. Maybe you can set it up like tell Joe, hey you know Brian and I ended on bad terms or something like that and just let the chips fall where they may. I do think its weird if Joe tried to FR Brian just for the sake of getting info on the person. Kinda childish to me.
abc
July 13th, 2009
10:39 am
She lived down the street from me.
Why date strangers? It makes more sense to date people you know. If you don’t know anyone you want to date, branch out, broaden your horizons, and meet people through those avenues, getting to know them pretty well before you go dating them.
It doesn’t make any sense to me to go dating people just because you like the way they look. It’s pretty superficial, seems to me, and is likely to result in a bunch of folks that only want each other for their looks. It introduces problems such as keeping your contacts a secret because you can’t trust them, since you don’t know anything about them. If you already know them through other means, certainly you’ll already know if you have other things in common besides a mutual physical attraction.
Grace
July 13th, 2009
10:43 am
Good morning, good move WISE by not letting the guy into your personal space too soon. Most guys get me with the “I’m old school, I pick my date up from her house” no thank you! I’m new school and living in the city with much “crazy”. Long story short met a guy, talked a week on the phone, he asked to take me to the movies, I told him I’ll meet him there he says why can’t I pick you up, I said I don’t really know you yet, he asks me if I have something to hide. I said yes, where I live talking on the phone for one week doesn’t justify me knowing you that well. We didn’t go to the movies.
On the McNair/Ms. Kazemi case. Nothing. smh.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
10:43 am
Red flags to me from a guy:
1. Not claiming his child(ren) or forgetting to mention them.
2. Lying about his career, he claims he is an executive, but cannot decipher standard business practices or acronyms.
3. Lying about his status and education, but you find out he cannot even use a fork correctly.
4. You only see his old car and never see his new car that bragged on…come to find out his new car belonged to his baby momma she just used to let him drive it when they were together (now he is back in the heavy chevy).
5. More secretive than I am…
6. Talks the big talk, but all you see are puny results.
Do not add my ex as a friend I will then say that you are crazy, and talk about you on the blog that is some BS!
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:43 am
Could it be be…most women 16-25…think their puddy is golden?
Until a fool like Demi comes along…ten minutes after sex, Demi be like…bey, what’s your name again??
I stop that foolish when this girl pulled a gun on my a$$, LOL
Leggs
July 13th, 2009
10:43 am
Curious, how come of many of you are saying she “didn’t” know she was a “jumpoff?” How could she have thought otherwise. Heck, when he got her a car and stuck her with the car payments spoke volumes. She did know he was still married, right? Her 20 years of living had her believing she was up to par with this athlete. It seems she wasn’t wrapped too tight from jump street.
@Professor, I was surprised that there are only 9 songs on the CD. Nothing jumped out at me!
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:44 am
Why date strangers? It makes more sense to date people you know.
abc – Cuz everyone starts out that way. EVERYONE.
She lived down the street from you, so you had the benefit of already knowing where she lived and where you lived.
And even if you know them, doesn’t mean they are the same person in a dating or relationship situation. I think you’ve stated that the women you married changed once they got their desired objective. Let’s not act like it could happen in the dating realm either.
The Truth-Don't Call it a Comeback
July 13th, 2009
10:44 am
Another great athlete got killed by his young wife this week. Arturo Gatti, a boxer who had the heart of 2 bulls, was killed by his 23 yo wife. He was 37. She strangled him with her purse strap. He may have been hit over the head first. This dude fought like a bear and got taken out by a 125 pound chick. Who’d of thunk it.
Male News Flash: Leave them youngins alone, they’re cwazy.
Sexycool, jump on my yahoo, I have somethin for you.
Prof, thanks for the heads up. I was just about to download that thing.
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:47 am
Hey Mo…I am actually doing work today, LOL
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:47 am
Most guys get me with the “I’m old school, I pick my date up from her house” no thank you!
Grace – Yeah, he can pick me up from my house if he comes in to meet my Dad first. And my dad lives on the other side of the country.
Pretty Wings
July 13th, 2009
10:47 am
Never trust a big butt and a smile!
Professor
July 13th, 2009
10:50 am
Demi I have XM in my car and an Ipod, but if it is an artist I like I like reading the CD cover and having the CD…hell a few bucks to have the actual CD is not going to break me especially since I read the info. It bothers me when the ish is wack more than anything.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit callin' out all fakes :-)
July 13th, 2009
10:50 am
She should have just went for the material stuff and the wang
I concur…if you’re going be second fiddle then at least have something to show for it…not that I would do something like that.
Also on the McNair case the mistress thought he was seeing someone else and she got upset…..huh?….wah?.. Why do women get upset about that?…is it b/c they want to be the “only one” he cheats with?…hellooooo is anybody home? Where is the sense or logic in that? The whole thing is one big oxymoron but that also show where this young lady was mentally PLUS the fa ct that she was only 20.
M.
July 13th, 2009
10:50 am
@Page1908 Good tips…
What up TRUTH! I was wondering what happened to you!
THE INFAMOUS DK
July 13th, 2009
10:52 am
Amazon – You get where I was going with that..
abc
July 13th, 2009
10:53 am
Sure, but my point is, why date people that you don’t know yet? Of course everyone is a stranger before you meet them. Why meet them on a date? Why show that level of interest in a stranger, other than physical attraction?
People changing over time has little or nothing to do with the topic.
Demi
July 13th, 2009
10:53 am
(I have forbidden my cousin from trying to date anymore of my girlfriends (he has dated 2) as a matter of fact, I have officially univited his azz to anymore gatherings)
That’s illegal!!! Cock blocking on the play…why people do that?
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:53 am
Blog Folks- I am having an 80’s Party on August 8th. If you would like to be invited, please send your request to eightiespartyW8Page@gmail.com
We’ll send you the details via email.
Ballwood
July 13th, 2009
10:53 am
Mo: Hey Tiptoes
Mqew: So he is a boy frontin being a man cause he banging a younger chick? Does same goes for a Cougar?
Chick: Umm excuse me… umm I usually don’t do this but my name is Galleria and I find you very interesting. What is your name?
abc: Ummm do I know you.
Galleria: No, but I was hoping to get to know you.
abc: STRANGE DANAGER!!!! STRANGER DANAGER!!!
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
July 13th, 2009
10:54 am
“the mistress thought he was seeing someone else and she got upset…..huh?….wah?..”
Thank you, Sassy. I mean, you’re a mistress; you already know dude is seeing someone else — you!
That’s why I can’t understand why anyone would expect anything from a married dude (or chic), other than sex & maybe some sugar-daddy (or mama) benefits. But to expect that you actually mean anything to that person? Puh-lease…..
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:56 am
Also on the McNair case the mistress thought he was seeing someone else and she got upset…..huh?….wah?.. Why do women get upset about that?…is it b/c they want to be the “only one” he cheats with?…hellooooo is anybody home? Where is the sense or logic in that?
She
finally came on that she was being played. I think part of the reason why she shot him was the satisfaction of knowing that he can’t run this game on anyone else.
In that regard, I can understand.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
10:56 am
That’s why I can’t understand why anyone would expect anything from a married dude (or chic), other than sex & maybe some sugar-daddy (or mama) benefits.
swiss – Precisely!
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
10:57 am
Professor- I like your list, but what about when dudes lie to make them seem more modest? Like if he lies and says he has a Buick, but he really has a Benz? Or he lies and says he lives in Stone Mountain, but really lives in Buckhead?
What would you do if the dude lied, but the truth is actually better??
Poppa Grande
July 13th, 2009
10:58 am
AR
I get what abc is trying to say.
He is basically saying live life and meet people along the way in the regular course of living.
For example:
Someone joining Hand on Atlanta and do charity work because they like to do it (not to meet some female). Then if you meet someone in that setting it is good because you already know that you two share something in common. You are more likely to interact in the normal mode than dating mode and you learn more from the person. Then if attraction flows from those interactions and the two date, the people already know something about each other and there is a higher comfort level.
I always give Hands on Atlanta as an example because if it goes wrong, there are tons of project on which they need help and one of you can switch to something worth while. As opposed to the employment thing because that is something that can affect your life and income.
As opposed to meeting some dude feeling up the melons in the Kroger department, there is nothing there except physical attraction that led him to interact.
Professor
July 13th, 2009
10:58 am
ARed, yeah they are old school until the check comes and the new school jumps out real quick with them trying to fumble for their cash to divide the bill.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
11:00 am
Sure, but my point is, why date people that you don’t know yet?
abc – Again…how do you get to “know” that person then? You can speak with someone everyday for a month…does that mean you know them? Eventually you’ll have to see them face to face. Meeting in public places is just one way to accomplish that. And once you continue to built that relationship and get to “know” them, then you typically feel comfortable to invite them into your space.
Lurking
July 13th, 2009
11:00 am
It’s interesting that y’all are discussing the dangers of strangers and one of you is about to invite a bunch of folk you don’t know to your home.
Raqi
July 13th, 2009
11:01 am
One of the truest saying ever quoted is “you never truly know a person until you have lived with them”.
However in line with today’s topic there are more than a few questionable characters out there and you should never ignore the obvious signs of crazy.
While you may refrain from giving certain info like your living or work address you really can’t stop a person from finding that out if you choose to go out with them. They can always follow you. Which automatically places them in the possible crazy category.
Life is just a gamble. We can only wish for the best in the people that we come in contact with.
On the McNair issue, I would say he is at fault. That little girl was way in over her head but he fueled that fire. She was 20 years old. He had to be an idiot to think he could lead her on and expect no consequences to follow. I don’t doubt that he lied to her about leaving his wife. He like a lot of deceivers more than likely said whatever it was he needed to say to keep her around for the time he wanted her. And to get her into a vehicle and leave her with the payments is just a simpleton move. I read in one article that her neighbors said that he was at her place so much they started to think he lived there. He lead that little girl on.
That was a mighty big price he had to pay to get some young trim.
Page1908
July 13th, 2009
11:03 am
Lurking, the people that will come are people I know.
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
11:03 am
Someone joining Hand on Atlanta and do charity work because they like to do it (not to meet some female). Then if you meet someone in that setting it is good because you already know that you two share something in common. You are more likely to interact in the normal mode than dating mode and you learn more from the person. Then if attraction flows from those interactions and the two date, the people already know something about each other and there is a higher comfort level.
PG – While I understand that sentiment, I still wouldn’t “know” that person to invite him into my home. Period. I guess it’s a single woman thing.
Folks I meet during community service or even through other friends (having someone who can vouch for them) doesn’t mean they aren’t strangers to me, even if we start to establish a friendship. The only advantage to your scenario is that I might let my guard down a little bit faster, but I’m still going to be cautious.
Cemeeli
July 13th, 2009
11:03 am
♪♪♪ Melodies from Heaven ….rain down on me…rain down on me…Take me in your arms and hold me close, rain down on me, rain down on me.…
Good Day All.
Everyone is not privy to elevated information about me, or my personal.
This reminds me…some of the high school friends are having a 15 year bbq/cookout this summer and they needed my address for invite. I politley gave them my office address for the correspondance they sent out. I did it because if they are anything like they were in school some of them would invite themselves over to my place if they new my address. I have not doubt.
Nah, i’m not the (open door policy-to all) like i were back in school. Things have changed.
Speaking of uninvited guests…My co-worker has now decided my work station is more her place to make private phone calls, internet surf & ect. than any other office…She does it more when i’m away, and then she leaves treats (juice, gum, cute post-its) to let me know she’s been on my headphones (which are personal usage also)…This morning when i got in, i notice a e-pack of Gum and i’m like (Oh really?!) cause she obviously noticed i’d be Monday blues and needed gum and juice? (not really though). So i suffer to say i never say; “Stay away”. I suffer to say sometimes some personal info is left out b/c i’m reading bills/school info. so hmmmm…i think i need to find her a new office buddy.
I’m off my soft vent now…
AmazonRed™ - show stoppin'
July 13th, 2009
11:03 am
It’s interesting that y’all are discussing the dangers of strangers and one of you is about to invite a bunch of folk you don’t know to your home.