Nature of a Man
Since I’m headed to New Orleans for the Essence Music Festival, I was preparing my travel playlist on my ipod. There is a song that Heather Headley sings, Nature of a Man that took me back to a fight I once had with an ex-boyfriend. It was such a silly argument but I think it went so far because it stemmed from our habit of always competing with each other.
Women sometimes find it difficult to find a good balance in letting the man be the man while showing that we are strong enough to be their woman . I think it is important to give men the opportunity to feel needed. It’s a tricky thing to tone down the competitive behavior for me, but it goes a long way when I do.
Ladies, are you a competitive person by nature? Do you find that your competitiveness surfaces in your relationships? Do you think you understand the nature of a man? If you don’t, are you making efforts to?
Guys, do you have things that you prefer the women let you handle when you are dating her? Do you like to call the shots in certain ways? Have you ever had to tell a woman that you don’t want to compete with her?
The Misadventures in Atlanta blog will be closed tomorrow. Have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend.
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236 comments Add your comment
SexyCool - He's a man and I like that.
July 2nd, 2009
9:00 am
First!!!
LOL!
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
9:07 am
Good Morning All! Excited about hopping on that plane tomorrow.
Ladies, are you a competitive person by nature? Yes, I think I mentioned that yesterday. I’m very competitive. At my 5k Saturday I was determined to be the first person that crossed the line pushing a stroller (I had my godson). I think it stems from when my grandma told me at an early age that I can do anything I set my mind to do and if someone else can accomplish it, I have no excuse.
Do you find that your competitiveness surfaces in your relationships? No, not really. My competitiveness only surfaces in competitive situation. Like I said, my demeanor is very different when playing games.
Do you think you understand the nature of a man? If you don’t, are you making efforts to? I haven’t heard the song you referenced so I’m not clear on what you mean by the nature of a man. I do understand that a man needs room to be himself. Meaning if I’m constantly overstepping my boundaries into his territory then I’m nullifying his importance in the relationship. Whatever his territory may be. That is why it’s important to try to understand the nature of my man. His territory is not the same as another man’s territory. I believe all men are the same in that they have to be the provider and protector, but they way they portray those roles may be different.
I’m ready for this workday to end…
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
9:07 am
I think it’s cute when a woman is competitive. She can call some shots but I always have veto power.
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
9:08 am
SexyCool – LOL, I would’ve been first if I wasn’t trying to post a well thought out comment
– I wish there was an emoticon with a tongue sticking out because I would have inserted that one.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
9:10 am
@SexyCool and Tazzee…you two are so competitive….lol
SexyCool - He's a man and I like that.
July 2nd, 2009
9:24 am
As to the topic, I’ve recently met someone who is extremely competitive and makes no apologies for it. He is determined to be a winner in life, by any means necessary.
Given my personal standards of excellence, that is so sexy to ME! I don’t have a problem allowing my man to take the lead. It’s what he’s supposed to do. And while I will not be a doormat or allow myself to be run over (I, too, have a voice.), I don’t have to be competitive at home (read: in a relationship). There is enough I have to compete against in the rest of the world.
I don’t have to prove my competitive nature to him by competing with him. With me, he should be able to come and find refuge from all that he deals with in the rest of the world. I am his partner and his support, not his opponent. I shouldn’t be one more area of his life that he has to show me his is king. I should just allow him to be that because I know that he is capable.
And I’m finding that, with this one, I can be comfortable in that thought because he sees the real me, through the fence that I have up, through the Sexy and the Cool.
Three Words Daily – Winner takes all. lol!
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
9:28 am
Happy “Friday” All!
I’m not a competitive person by nature, but I am self-sufficient by nature. And I’ve been self-sufficient for a long time. I handled my own appointments and schedule in my parents house, I put myself through college, and I handle my business as an adults. I’ve never really asked my parents for money nor anyone else and no one has ever paid a bill for me.
So when a man comes along, it’s hard to relinquish him taking on some of my affairs, even as we’re trying to build a life together. I try to let him know that I do want him and need him around and that I don’t ever want to take away from his “nature” to provide. It’s just that old habits die hard at times. I can definitely see a guy not thinking he’s “needed” when he’s with me, but he is, and most importantly, he’s wanted.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
9:29 am
@SexyCool and Tazzee…you two are so competitive….lol
W8 –
SexyCool - He's a man and I like that.
July 2nd, 2009
9:30 am
Hey, Taz! Yep, I was first. I was first. Doing my victory dance! lol.
I guess that is kinda competitive.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 2nd, 2009
9:36 am
Ladies, are you a competitive person by nature? Do you find that your competitiveness surfaces in your relationships?
Yes I am competitive by nature but it hasn’t surfaced in any of my past relationships….why should/would it if we’re on the same team?
Do you think you understand the nature of a man? If you don’t, are you making efforts to?
Hmmm…the nature of a man..interesting. Since I was a child I always played more with the boys than girls and used to listen to them talk….now that I have more male friends than female I still listen to what they have to say and it’s been quite the learning experience. I’ve learned that men don’t like confrontation,nagging,being asked 100 questions and most importantly they need their space….I don’t like any of these things either so I treat the men in my life the way I would want to be treated. I’ve also learned about the softer side of a man that he only reveals to those closest to him and realize that in alot of those aspects men want the same things women do….sometimes they know how to articulate that and sometimes they don’t and as a woman I’ve learned to recognize that and give him what he needs……..
Raqi
July 2nd, 2009
9:37 am
I am not a competitive person. I don’t have to do or achieve something better than someone else or because someone else is doing it.
I don’t have a problem letting a man be a man. Heck there are some things I don’t even want to take on like a man.
However after having done it all by myself for so long it was hard, and sometimes still is, to let certain responsibilities go. I have no problem letting him do his man thing, provide and protect like Tazzee said, but I had to learn to let him have it. It’s his thing. Why keep holding onto something that he has and was given the physical, mental and emotional capabilities to do? It’s his nature. Let him be who he is.
I don’t have to wear the pants, they are too heavy way, nor do I have to prove that I can wear them just as good as he can.
He stay in his place and I’ll stay in mine.
East Point's Own
July 2nd, 2009
9:38 am
What does this mean? —> Women sometimes find it difficult to find a good balance in letting the man be the man while showing that we are strong enough to be their woman .
Either you are strong enough or you are not. You should not have to balance anything, just be yourself. If you are constanlty told you are too aggressive or too competitive then you may decide to change that for yourself, and then let the chips fall where they may… but you should not have to balance these two things as they relate to s specific man, because eventually you are gonna stop trying or have a bad day and forget to keep tyring and you will have problems.
I personally do not want to deal with a woman who wants to compete with me in anything that is not a sport, video game, card game, or board game….(well we can compete in the bedroom too but that’s a whole nother topic.) In the rest of our lives we should not compete, but we should complement each other to make one force acting in unison toward a better life for us both.
http://hispointofview.com/2009/07/a-long-road/
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
9:40 am
Good morning. I am not a competitive person. I so enjoy my man being the man and I supporting him. He will be the man and I will be all woman.
@Tazzee, since there isn’t an emoticon for one sticking there tongue out, try this….pppppppfffffffttttt! Ha ha ha!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 2nd, 2009
9:40 am
So when a man comes along, it’s hard to relinquish him taking on some of my affairs, even as we’re trying to build a life together. I try to let him know that I do want him and need him around and that I don’t ever want to take away from his “nature” to provide. It’s just that old habits die hard at times. I can definitely see a guy not thinking he’s “needed” when he’s with me, but he is, and most importantly, he’s wanted.
AmRed I think we’re related or something. I went through that in my last relationshiip andit damaged it for a bit until I trusted my then S.O. enough to relinquish some of my power and “let him be the man”. It was so hard but I learned a good lesson from it.
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:40 am
Good Morning All:
Yes I am a competitive person by nature. Although I like to compete on fun stuff in a relationship (I have been known to race my dates in the parking lot) I do not like certain types of competition in a relationship.
I am looking forward to seeing the fellas answer this one:
Guys, do you have things that you prefer the women let you handle when you are dating her? IMO if the guy states that he is going to handle it, and as a single woman I am used to handling everything he is going to pee me off if he does not take care of it.
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
9:40 am
You know I meant “their”
Raqi
July 2nd, 2009
9:43 am
There is enough I have to compete against in the rest of the world.
SexyCool that is how I feel about men in general, and good men even more. They leave the house in the morning going to war. Why put the undue burden on them when they get home? Like you said I am no one’s door mat but I am not always up for a challenge or competition either when it comes to the man I am with.
Home is suppose to be the haven of peace. You come home to refuel.
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:45 am
Listed below you will find a list of things that I would love to relinquish the next time I am in a relationship:
1. Taking out the trash
2. Bringing in groceries
3. Worrying about the lawn (I can take care of the flowers, but I even hate calling the lawn guy)
4. Being bothered with car repairs (car repairs make me physically sick and that’s for real)
5. Keeping the car clean
6. Mopping the kitchen floor (ooh if he doesn’t mine mopping I will marry him)
Replacing the light bulbs (I have one that I cannot reach…)
main lurker
July 2nd, 2009
9:46 am
GM Melo…the question posed yesterday evening (as I went back to read) was not me. You made referenced to a conversation typed the day before. Not that it’s that important but just thought I’d say it.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
9:48 am
@Sassy- Your 9:36 is nice
@SexyCool- Have you gotten “boo’d up” on the sly? Congrats
main lurker
July 2nd, 2009
9:48 am
No need to be competitive, just be yourself. There’s enough thunder for both to have in a relationship.
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:49 am
EPO I agree 100%
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:52 am
@SCool congrats on the new guy you met. He sounds like a good one, in fact I could have used that entire post to describe the guy that I am getting to know. I guess that is why I stated a few days ago I will take a break especially if it does not work out. Congrats again…
anonymousella
July 2nd, 2009
9:53 am
i’m less competitive than i am territorial. if i have a Thing, it’s MY Thing and i’ma have a problem if you try to be all up in it.
ex: one of my hobbies is painting. i like to think i’m good at it when i do it. now, if my man decided to start painting, i’d be annoyed. especially if he was better at it than me. i’m The Artsy One DANG IT. that’s part of my self-identity and i’ma need you to stop infringing on it please. i give my man that same kind of space.
as for letting him feel needed? nah. he knows hat i don’t need him and that he had better act right if he wants me to keep wanting him. i love The Intended to pieces, but i know how to get along just fine without him and vice-versa. i make sure he knows that he is an important person in my life, but his role in it is quite dependent on how well he treats me. so far, so good
.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
9:53 am
I went through that in my last relationshiip andit damaged it for a bit until I trusted my then S.O. enough to relinquish some of my power and “let him be the man”. It was so hard but I learned a good lesson from it.
Sassy – I don’t think I ever really have. If you have your place and I have mine, then our finances don’t need to mix, and our lifestyles don’t need to mix. I’m always in disbelief a little when my friends in relationships are like “he paid this bill or bought this.” Not like I think it’s wrong, just foreign to me.
It’s just more of an even split for me. If he’s at my place, I’m taking care of him. And if I’m at his he is taking care of me. I mean, he will make sure my car is running and that maintenance issues are taken care of…but yeah, the “separate togetherness” is really all I’ve ever known.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
9:55 am
@Raqi-your 9:43..amen amen..Home is supposed to be a safe haven…
@Professor-not a bad list….but mopping the floor? You have abetter chance hitting the lotto..lmao
@Leggs- You must be the only woman from NY who is not competitive…lol..just kidding.
East Point's Own
July 2nd, 2009
9:56 am
Re: AmazonRed 9:28 am post and Professor 9:45 post
So when a man meets a woman who is used to being self sufficient, yet they both maintain seperate households, what do you expect for him to do to help make you life easier, considering you don’t hand him a list like the Professor probably does… LoL How do you let a guy know what he can help you with?
Secondly considering all that he does to maintain his own household, do women consider that a dude might really not want to have to be Mr handyman, mr lawn man, mr grocery man,etc… at his house and at your house?
Thirdly if you have everything under control does it offend you or make you think less of him if your guy doesn’t do things at your house unless you ask him for help? I don’t mean is is lazy or inconsiderate, but he may not want to encroach on your sense of being an independent woman who has it all under control. Meaning if you are a woman who prides herself in surviving on your own should a man keep trying to do things for you, or sit back and just date and let you ask for help when you need it?
http://hispointofview.com/2009/07/a-long-road/
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
9:56 am
Professor – And he can definitely take over the bug killing duties!!!
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:56 am
I know the mopping would be the extra cherry on top! I guess it will be me or Molly Maid with the mopping…lol.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
9:56 am
I wish there was an emoticon with a tongue sticking out because I would have inserted that one.
Tazzee –
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
9:58 am
ARed that is a good one…please add that one
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
10:03 am
@W8 ~ I am not competitive in a relationship. I love the role the man should have and I definitely know my role.
All you guys getting boo’d up…Yay, my turn is a coming!
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:06 am
EPO – First of all, independent and self sufficient are two different things. Please don’t label me with the “independent” woman tag.
Secondly, if he maintains his house and I maintain mine, he’s made my life easier already. When I’m with him, I’m being taken care of. If I’m hungry, he’s cooking or picking something up for us to eat. He’s making his place comfortable for me to be around. And vice versa when he’s at my place.
Secondly, if he is maintaining his own household, I don’t really care if he doesn’t want to be Mr. Handyman at mine. I’m not asking him for anything constant or elaborate. So if he has a problem he can skip on down the road.
Thirdly, like I said, my house is mine. I don’t expect him to do anything around my house unless he offers or I ask. And when I do ask, I’m not asking him to build a deck. I’m asking him to lift something heavy or check something out.
Raqi
July 2nd, 2009
10:07 am
There are so many things in life that I did because it is what I had to do. I did not sit around waiting for someone to take care of me and mine. I just got out there and did it. I learned that quickly after the termination of my second actual relationship. Going forth from there I did what had to be done. It became my life. After getting married to my present, and even some situations before marriage, I have been told many times “you don’t have to do “that” anymore, that’s my job”.
The many times that I did step out there to still do it, it was not because I am was in competition with him but merely because it was a just what I was used to doing. Somethings I still do but many I have learned to let go and stop stressing over.
SexyCool - Subliminaaaaaaaaaal Messaaaggeeeeeeessss!!!!!
July 2nd, 2009
10:08 am
Boo’d up? Don’t know if I’d call it that just yet. We haven’t had that conversation. He’s someone that I’ve met and am getting to know and I like what I am seeing. He’s behind my fence and he knows it.
I am interested in seeing how this all unfolds. And I do believe that when all is told, it will be RATHER interesting.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:10 am
ARed that is a good one…please add that one
And yes, I have called him from his separate house and asked him to come to mine and kill a bug.
The ArTist
July 2nd, 2009
10:15 am
In the words of Andre 3000 “You know what I really wanna know?
Where do all the good girls go?
What club they hang at?”
That’s what I want to know
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:18 am
I have been told many times “you don’t have to do “that” anymore, that’s my job”.
Raqi – The minute I’m told this, I’m letting him do it! Reminds me of the Cosby Show episode where Cliff told Elvin to let the woman handle it when she said she’s got it. I’m throwing the pickle jar down and throwing up my hands!
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
10:20 am
EPO no I will not give him a list…LOL, but I have a demanding schedule (at times…like now) so if I am out of town for a few days and need help getting things in order it is always nice for him to offer to pitch in. No I don’t want him to be the handyman, but I would like for him to be a considerate man. For me it is truly the small stuff and offering/asking what I can I do? You know what at the end of the day I will do the same for him.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
10:22 am
@Ared- your 10:06 is the realest thing I have ever seen you post
@The Artist- you see the message in what Dre was trying to convey in that verse..lol
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
10:23 am
EPO – my man maintains his own house but I never had to ask him to do any of the things Professor listed – he just started doing them on his own. And he does everything Professor listed except 3 because I live in a townhome and 5 because a mobile car wash company that comes to my job every week.
The thing is, I believe a man will naturally do those things for a woman if he really cares for her. No need to ask. Just like I naturally do things for him like fix his plate, iron his shirts, etc. These are things that I already do for myself but I gladly do for my mate.
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
10:25 am
Now killing bugs? I do ask him to do that
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:26 am
@Ared- your 10:06 is the realest thing I have ever seen you post
W8 – It’s always funny to me when folks say stuff like this. Everything I post is real. My 10:06 is just something I posted that struck you more than others.
Professor
July 2nd, 2009
10:26 am
@Tazzee…now that’s what I am talking about!!! I agree with you it comes naturally.
Ok gang I am probably gone for the day…so have a safe holiday.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
10:27 am
Question why are women so quick to get in a mans face …but yet are scared of little bugs?
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
10:28 am
@Ared- dont think that deep on it..just given you some props…..CHUMP..now what..lol
The ArTist
July 2nd, 2009
10:29 am
W8©(thoroughbred…) Yeah there is some real meaning behind that song!
I think a man should be allowed to be a man and so should a woman. But so often one or both parties aren’t willing to step up to the plate. Play your role 100% of the time not just when its convenient!
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:29 am
Question why are women so quick to get in a mans face …but yet are scared of little bugs?
W8 – I don’t do either.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:29 am
(get in a man’s face or a bug’s face, that is.
)
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:31 am
@Ared- dont think that deep on it..just given you some props…..CHUMP..now what..lol
W8 – Yes sir. Thank you sir.
anonymousella
July 2nd, 2009
10:31 am
@EPO: if you and your man have separate households, you talk about what needs to get done and he helps you figure out how to get it done. a simple “do you need help?” or “what can i do to help?” works wonders.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
10:32 am
@the Artist- yep..alot of roles being defined on here today
@Ared..lol…it’sjust funny to me that you can see a little 5 foot nothing woman get into a 6′4 or above dudes grill and just let him have it..but let her get around a little tiny bug that she can step on…she is fleeing..lol
SexyCool - Bullsh!+ is not cotton candy.
July 2nd, 2009
10:33 am
I’m not looking for Cap’n Save’em because I don’t need saving.
I need a head of household, a leader, a partner, a lover, a friend, a confidante, a playmate, a refuge. I need his strength, his understanding, his love, his compassion, his faith and his faithfulness, his support.
I need to be able to put my head on my pillow at night with the knowledge that, with him, I can let down my defenses and just be.
If I can know that, I can rest easy and I am ready to rest.
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 2nd, 2009
10:34 am
Hey Gang! Let the weekend begin PLEASE!
I am competitive at work but not at home, unless it’s something I am passionate about like cooking. My SO is competitive about video games, but since I don’t play them it’s all good. We both like trivia, but usually we play on the same team, so no competition there. But really, I am like the others – home is a refuge for both of us, whether it be my house or his, so we leave all the stresses at the door.
I’m like AmRed with the paying of bills – I’ve never had a guy I was seeing pay a bill for me! As for doing things around the house, I’ve had guys take out the trash & lift heavy objects or hook up electronics that I could not do. Most of the time they just offered. One guy I asked to help me with the yard while I cared for my ailing father. I’ve told you guys before about him. It was like pulling teeth. From then on I just paid the kid in the neighborhood to cut the grass when I couldn’t do it myself.
Yeah, it’s tough to break the habit of handling things myself cause I’ve had to do it for so long. Tough but not impossible, and I am enjoying it! I have no problem with the man being the man, in fact I expect it, it feels natural and like SCool, it’s incredibly attractive!
The ArTist
July 2nd, 2009
10:35 am
@SexyCool Sounds like its time for a nap! lol (Figuratively speaking)
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:36 am
.but let her get around a little tiny bug that she can step on…
W8 – Ew no no no no!!! Never step on them! They squish and that’s gross! *heebie jeebies*
The few times I have to kill and dispose of a bug on my own
you douse em with bug spray til they die, then you cover them with a napkin, then you sweep em up. Whimpering the whole time, I might add.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:39 am
I’ve had guys take out the trash & lift heavy objects or hook up electronics that I could not do
kimmie – I’m pretty handy, and I’m tall so I can reach objects up high. So sad to say, sometimes I’m better at home maintenance and putting stuff together than I am at cooking a 5-course meal! It’s certainly more natural to me.
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
10:42 am
think it’s cute when a woman is competitive. She can call some shots but I always have veto power
well said bwa!
Good morning folks!!!
SexyCool - Mr. Sandman, Is he my dream?
July 2nd, 2009
10:43 am
I don’t squirm from killing a bug. I’m a Kountry girl. If bugs did that to me, I would have been in a corner somewhere rocking and sucking my thumb by the time I was 10.
Now, if a man is around, yes, I expect him to kill the bug.
*Disclaimer* – If it’s some o’ gigantic-may-kill-me-Yugo-sized kinda creature, I will take that back. I will be vacating the premises until backup arrives.
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
10:45 am
SexyCool – your 10:33 reminds me of why I’m so content in my relationship right now. yup, yup!
W8 – I will kill a bug, if my man isn’t there. But I will save it so he can tell me what kind of bug it is. I don’t squish them either, I douse them (from a distance) with bug spray. If I find a dead one, I vacuum it with the handvac and let him come get it.
AmRed – you whimper, I scream
Cemeeli
July 2nd, 2009
10:45 am
Hey gang!
Tazzee Poppin in to remind you not to forget to wear your all white glory for the Frankie and Maze at EMF.
Tell J-Legend i send my “Good Morning”, k?
This is your official reminder.
Raqi
July 2nd, 2009
10:48 am
Repeating SexyCool
I need a head of household, a leader, a partner, a lover, a friend, a confidante, a playmate, a refuge. I need his strength, his understanding, his love, his compassion, his faith and his faithfulness, his support.
I need to be able to put my head on my pillow at night with the knowledge that, with him, I can let down my defenses and just be.
If I can know that, I can rest easy and I am ready to rest.
And I ain’t scurred o’ no bugs.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:48 am
I don’t squish them either
Yes, the key is…the bug is never actually touched.
Fortunately, since I’ve moved into the house, it’s been suprisingly bug free *knock on wood*
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
10:49 am
1. Taking out the trash-MELO
2. Bringing in groceries-PROFESSOR
3. Worrying about the lawn (I can take care of the flowers, but I even hate calling the lawn guy)-MELO
4. Being bothered with car repairs (car repairs make me physically sick and that’s for real)-MELO
5. Keeping the car clean-MELO will,as long as u keep ur car reasonably clean
6. Mopping the kitchen floor (ooh if he doesn’t mine mopping I will marry him)–Professor(u silly for even asking!!)
Replacing the light bulbs (I have one that I cannot reach…)-MELO
SexyCool - This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.
July 2nd, 2009
10:50 am
So, ArTist – Are you sensitive about your s#!+? lol
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
10:52 am
the question posed yesterday evening (as I went back to read) was not me
Good morning to u too!
Its all good.
Ive always regarded u as one of the more and better attuned single ladies on the blog tho(lurker at that,lol).
U got a good head atop ur neck.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
10:54 am
Professor(u silly for even asking!!)
How come you don’t help bring in groceries tho? They can be heavy at times.
Raqi
July 2nd, 2009
10:56 am
Stuff like taking out the trash, washing the car and bringing in the groceries is minor stuff. I ain’t about to be sweating over the minor stuff when there a bigger issues that need to be manned.
Yeah his physical strength makes it more sensible for him to carry the heavier packages, but if he is attending to something more important I will just open the package and bring the items in one by one.
Not to mention I have well able bodied 14 year old son. LOL
Oh I don’t do rodents of any kind. Dead or alive.
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
10:59 am
How come you don’t help bring in groceries tho? They can be heavy at times
i may have misunderstood the qstion,i thoght she meant bringing them from the store.
My Queen does the shopping,other than the shopping she sends me for the the farmers mkt,whih i bring!
In both instances, i dont bring the groceries in the house tho coz of my very fertile,u know what!
I used to do it tho during our no-kids days.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
11:04 am
Yall women use wayyyyyyyy to much bugspray..hell it aint the bug spray thats killing the bug with yall…it’s the fact that you are drowning the bug with so much of it..lmao
Example of Love in my family.. When my grandfather on my dad’s side passed..we were at grandma’s house, one morning she decided to drive to the store…she was outside crying crying crying crying….we asked here what was wrong…and she said that this was the first time in over 25 years that she had to start her car at home….That was so deep to me….EVERYTIME Grandma left the house granddad started the car for her….that’s a whole other level of love right there in my eyes..I aint trying to start your car everytime….might get you a remote starter and hit the button though…lol…but thats deep
Tazzee - countdown to Essence Music Festival, New Orleans here I come!!!
July 2nd, 2009
11:08 am
W8 – dang! You know I’m a crybaby…that’s beautiful.
Serena just won her match!
Cemeeli – I don tol you I don’t like Maze…we’re leaving Sunday so we won’t be seeing them.
Chink
July 2nd, 2009
11:09 am
*Bring in Groceries* Reminds me of that movie “woman thou are loosed” when that guy had his woman bringing in the groceries and and he was like be careful with that because of his beer..while she huffing and puffing
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:09 am
In both instances, i dont bring the groceries in the house tho coz of my very fertile,u know what!
melo – You guys are done having kids so you need to go back to brining the groceries in!
East Point's Own
July 2nd, 2009
11:09 am
W8 was your grand pops in the MOB or something… making sure she did not get blown up by a car bomb or something????
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:10 am
WOW, I like that W8. That loving gesture says a lot. I’ve always said it’s those little things that mean the world, at least to me!
For the bugs, I cannot quish a bug. I will not put a dead bug in my garbage can, it will always be flushed. No man in the house to kill so I have lil leggs do it. Don’t want her to grow up squeamish like me!
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
11:11 am
Kids= indentured servants…lol
SexyCool - Just Sexy. Just Cool.
July 2nd, 2009
11:11 am
Raqi – Rodents is exactly what I meant in my disclaimer.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 2nd, 2009
11:13 am
See why I call you “heavy” W8…..that 11:04 was nice….I want THAT.
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
July 2nd, 2009
11:15 am
Hmmm… Maybe I’ve just been lucky, but this has never really been an issue for me. I mean, I am most definitely a competitive person, but I’ve never felt competitive about roles in a relationship. With Swiss Miss & I, we both know the other can handle any of our business, but there’s never any tug-of-war over who handles what.
As far as wanting to feel needed… Well, I don’t necessarily want to feel needed but I most definitely do want to feel wanted & appreciated. But then, who doesn’t?
I don’t know — it’s just never been an issue for me. Or maybe I’m just in a good mood after getting my morning nookie….
Totally off topic: I’m a little sad that today is apparently the last day I’ll be able to see Because He Kept Me Off the Pole in the “recent posts” links… :sigh:
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 2nd, 2009
11:15 am
I use bug spray sometimes. Most of the time I use Windex or some other spray cleaner.
Yes, Leggs, I flush too. Like my grandmother says – “Send him down to his watery grave”!LOL!!
Ever wonder why a bug is always a “he”?!
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:21 am
I meant no man in the house to kill “bugs”. Reading it w/o that word depicts me as having a mother/daughter killing operation going on.
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
11:21 am
melo – You guys are done having kids so you need to go back to brining the groceries in!
if i have to bring groceries in while my kids are playing video games,what am i teaching them? That they can simply eat my food,pee and shyyt but not contribute nothing at the house?
My boy will dog ur daughter when he turns to an adult coz of that upbringing.
My boy just turned 4 and hiz job so far:turning on the lights when it gets dark.
The responsibilities will increase as he gets older and stronger.Soon,i will be retired from cutting grass.
The girls(15@11) are cooking,baking cakes etc and taking care of the inside leanliness,folding clothes etc.
Im gon do a thorough job of screeening any potential boys/girl coz my kids will be top shelf by the time they ripe.
M'
July 2nd, 2009
11:31 am
I have been on my own for almost 26 years now…no family, etc…just me…and in the process I have evolved into a person who is quite comfortable with being able to take care of myself and doing things for myself…or getting them done…it is the trade off for being single…but I am not competitive with regards to relationships, but I am not a deferential female by nature either…what I do find is that some men are a little intimidated by my self-reliance or independence, whatever you want to call it b/c it is some of both…mainly b/c they seem to question when and where their need to “lead” fits in…lol…and that seems make them more “competitive” for control…then it is this “you are a challenge” crapola…oh well, at nigh 50 single is good…lol
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:31 am
melo – Oh right. Yeah, the kids are supposed to bring the groceries in once they are able. You know I don’t have any so I don’t think from that perspective.
Yes, we definitely had to bring em in growing up. Just not heavy ones. Mom wanted us to make sure we had babies.
LOL @ by the time they are ripe.
SexyCool - Pro Bowler - Lifetime Avg 115 (Do NOT laugh.)
July 2nd, 2009
11:32 am
What’s the deal on the bowling or whatever tonight?
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
11:33 am
My little man is turning two this weekend
!!!!
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
11:34 am
“…Ain’t nothing wrong with being hen pecked as long as you are pecked by the right hen…”"
So true, so true!! Thanks for that lesson Dad
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:35 am
I hate to admit this, but went bowling a few months back with my company and my high was 78. As you can tell, I’m not a bowler, but we had fun (and that was the bottom line).
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 2nd, 2009
11:36 am
I’m out for tonight..no dice…If yall want to or are hitting up a park or something tomorrow let me know..
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:36 am
“…Ain’t nothing wrong with being hen pecked as long as you are pecked by the right hen…””
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:36 am
^^^
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:38 am
As you can tell, I’m not a bowler, but we had fun (and that was the bottom line).
Leggs – Exactly. Bowling is one of my favorite types of dates. And it shows I’m not competitive cuz the guy always kicks my azz in it.
It’s a great game if I break 100.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:39 am
Grr…there would be a $117 roundtrip airfare special to Chicago the weeekend AFTER the Taste of Chicago. Boo.
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:40 am
Aren’t those strikes exciting? Then comes a string of gutter balls.
AmazonRed™
July 2nd, 2009
11:44 am
Aren’t those strikes exciting? Then comes a string of gutter balls.
Melo
July 2nd, 2009
11:46 am
mainly b/c they seem to question when and where their need to “lead” fits in…lol…
a man who has to ask u where he can fit in is not a real man,hes pantsy.
If im dating a girl and we decide to go to her house to go chill,we get there and i see the yard is looking unkempt,i aint gon ask her if she wants me to cut the grass.
Shes just gona find me out on the yard,no shirt on,all sweat,doing my thing,no qstions asked.
The only qstion might be:baby,where is ur lawn mower?? Then i will check for oil and gas be4 i do the do.
Now,if the guy was neva broght up right,he proly dont know about all this shyyt.
U be butting heads with him all the way.
A real man will simply volunteer/step up to do it if he’s ur man,he dont need permission from nobody,unless ofcourse u specifically stop him for some good reason!
SexyCool - Pro Bowler - Lifetime Avg 115 (Do NOT laugh.)
July 2nd, 2009
11:49 am
I’m just glad bowling takes place in a public place so there can be no “strip bowling” wagers going on.
I would be naked.
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:52 am
Actually, strip bowling sounds like a lot of fun. No doubt I’d be bowling in just my shoes!
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:54 am
Actually, strip bowling may prove to be painful…ta tas flapping all over the place and dingalings flapping against the other balls, then the big bowling ball dropping on one’s foot cuz they lost focus and so on and so on….I know, I’m sick!
Leggs
July 2nd, 2009
11:56 am
My last post about strip bowling was a bit too risque so the blog machine ate it! HAAAAAAAAAA!