Forever?
In the great words of Atlanta’s own Outkast, “Forever never seems that long until you’re grown and notice that the day by day rule can’t be too long.” When we were kids growing up reading the fairy tales, happily ever after actually seems attainable. Once we are hit with the reality of love and romance, we realize that forever is a long time, and in a lot of ways, just a fairy tale.
Do you think we should still believe in forever? I’m inclined to say yes, because I have that whole Pollyanna view about relationships. I know love can be hard. I know there are days where I would quite possibly imagine causing the demise of my husband. I also know that you can’t and should not go into relationships or marriage expecting Utopia. It does not exist.
We all change and become new versions of our former selves which takes its toll on relationships. How many of us can really imagine forever with a person regardless of who they become?
Do you think every relationship has its own expiration date? Is there a way to handle relationships so that they withstand years of ups and downs and still survive? Is it more than commitment that makes it work?
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© 2009 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
492 comments Add your comment
Professor (Going home to eat my Apple Jacks)
July 1st, 2009
9:09 am
It’s a beautiful morning!
WD, I love that song being from the ATL I am a huge Outkast fan, and I like this topic.
Do you think we should still believe in forever?
I think we should believe in until death due us apart…at least that is what I am striving for and committed to if I become married. And, no I do not think some type of fairy tale exist where I will live happily ever after, but I would not enter into marriage thinking about an exit plan.
Do you think every relationship has its own expiration date?
I laugh at this one only because I knew a lady (she was married at the time), and she told me marriage should be like your driver’s license every four years both parties should have to agree on a renewal, and if both parties does not agree the marriage should be disbanded. She really wanted out!
I-85
July 1st, 2009
9:09 am
Look at Samford, I don’t think forever is attainable. There is that lingering mind after certain years with someone and you always longing for something new. I can say I love my gf forever but I have the desire to mingle and see whats out there, even though I know she is no 1. If something happens I know I will run to her but I can’t say I can be 100% commited to her forever. No. Not possible in this day of age.
Professor (Going home to eat my Apple Jacks)
July 1st, 2009
9:17 am
Is there a way to handle relationships so that they withstand years of ups and downs and still survive?
Maybe I am naïve on this one, but I say yes. My parents were married for 30 years, and my dad actually passed away on their 30th wedding anniversary. So, again I believe if you marry the right person that you can stand the test of time. Standing the test of time takes a lot of things (love, patience, commitment, trust, loyalty and applying Biblical principles etc.) to the cauldron of marriage.
Off topic (I know it is early), but I am proud of Ursula Burns CEO of Xerox!!!
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
9:19 am
Enter your comments here
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
July 1st, 2009
9:19 am
Why not? Why can’t relationships last forever?
All it takes mutual commitment, mutual respect, and 24/7 willingness and determination with or without reciprocity. Therein lies the rub, you need ALL of these.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
9:22 am
Morning all. I am a Pollyanna too.
Yes, now that we are living longer, forever is a long time. And we have more options than ever. But there are bonds that can span a lifetime and the same can be said for love. That is, if you go into it wisely.
Even in my 30s, I can still forseeably have a 50+ year union with my husband. I really don’t feel pressure to rush into marriage, I’d rather make sure it’s right or not go into it at all.
Dan
July 1st, 2009
9:24 am
Good morning
Having experienced the palatable feeling of “out growing” someone you’re in a relationship with, that “season, reason, lifetime” proves to be an appropriate idiom.
All in all, from my experience, having someone willing to grow with you is best recipe. Relationships take work, but when there’s the added pressure of personal growth apart from your partner, it’s darn near another job.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
9:31 am
Morning!
“Forever” – Yes i believe in a relationship lasting forever it is certainly obtainable.
“Expirations” – Yep, possible to, exp in those relationships when he/her gets tired at their partners act/facade and “spooning” – usually best used before spoiling.
Because of the representation today’s topic for the Hometeam – Outkast! Yea-yah!! I will not be checking my sanity upon entrance into Blog Lounge today!
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 1st, 2009
9:31 am
We all change and become new versions of our former selves which takes its toll on relationships. How many of us can really imagine forever with a person regardless of who they become?
Forever..ever? That is a long time but that aside, change is an inevitable part of life but it’s WHAT and WHO we become and how we deal with said change. Some people change for the worse and some for the better and the decision to stay rests solely upon the individual….one person may choose to stay and help their S.O. become better(work through the “bad” changes) or then again they may choose to run for the hills if they deem their S.O as too far gone to help. It’s all about choices and decisions.
Do you think every relationship has its own expiration date? Is there a way to handle relationships so that they withstand years of ups and downs and still survive? Is it more than commitment that makes it work?
Yes and no….I know from experience that people change and grow apart and being in a relationship isn’t as fulfilling as it once was. In these situations I think it’s good to call a spade a spade and end the relationship. Too many times people stay empty relationships for a littany of reasons only to realize years later that they should’ve left waaay back then. Some stay for the children, because they don’t want to “start over” with someone else or they’re just afraid to be alone. Is there a way to handle a relatioships ups and downs with more than commitment…no I think that’s exactly what it takes. Commitment encompasses so many things and can be defined so many ways…can be shown in so many ways. Love,patience,understanding,support, and friendship are forms of commitment that surely has it’s place in a successful marriage…not an always easy marriage but a successful one no less.
Morning blog fam…what it do?
Ghirl
July 1st, 2009
9:35 am
Good morning, forever is a mighty long time. Nothing is forever other than the love of Jesus Christ God Himself. It tickles me when I re read old love letters that closed with love you forever, or forever yours.
Commitment and communication goes hand in hand when it comes to a healthy relationship. You can’t have one without the other.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
9:40 am
There will be charges associated with posts that takes 2 sighs, 3 heavy sighs and more than 2 minutes to read.
This message is brought to you by management and all in violation will see the clerk upon abuse.
Uh...baby...that ring done expired
July 1st, 2009
9:40 am
Speaking of expiration dates…did anyone else read where Usher’s wife did not even know that he was filing for divorce???.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 1st, 2009
9:42 am
Cameeli whatcu talkin’ ’bout?….
SexyCool - Time, Unreplenishable, Non-Renewable
July 1st, 2009
9:45 am
I say all the time that it takes forever to have a relationships that lasts forever.
Happily EVER after implies that no unpleasant thing will ever happen in a relationship. It’s just not possible. There will be the stresses that come with life – and I could name them, but we all know what the stresses of life are.
So, no, I don’t think that I will be IN love with my mate EVERY single moment of every single day. I do know that once I’ve made a commitment, I will be willing to work at it and even on days when I don’t like something he’s done or said and may not even like him, I will still say, “I choose you.” Because that’s really what forever relationships are about continually choosing to be with that person, no matter what circumstances present themselves.
Three Words Daily – Use time wisely.
Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again
July 1st, 2009
9:45 am
Morning Folks!
It’s July 1 and half the year is behind us. While forever seems like a long time, as I’ve grown older time seems to pass much quicker. Before I know it, I’ll wake up and be 50 years old.
Yes, I still believe in forever, I also believe in the concept of happily ever after because I’m the one in charge of my happiness. Throughout life and experiences, I’ve learned to be like Paul said in Philippians 4 – I’ve learned to be content in whatever state I’m in. With that said – striving for forever/happily ever after with the right person is key. Therefore some relationships do have an expiration date. Like Dan said ‘reason, season, lifetime’
I think I’ve had enough reason/season relationships…
SexyCool - Time, Unreplenishable, Non-Renewable
July 1st, 2009
9:51 am
And speaking of using time wisely, yesterday, I took a “Playa Day” and spent a quite enjoyable day, relaxing in a thoroughly enjoyable way. I encourage more of you to just take some time off.
Stop always saving all your vacation time to try and use it all up in one fell swoop. Take a day here or there, start your weekend a day early or extend it a day. Don’t always wait for a special occasion or a planned trip or holiday. Have a weekend day on a Tuesday.
It can be surprisingly delightful and incredibly refreshing.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
9:51 am
Tazzee You preaching this morning!
Lemme go get something to drink…:)
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
9:54 am
“Forever”
Forever is in the outlook or belief of the beholder. Something on would deem constant and for all time, or a long time.
Relationships are possible to be“forever”.
GOD, and his love is eternity, for an infinite time!
….sorry, i’m in that mood too.
Grace
July 1st, 2009
9:54 am
@ TazzeePhilippians 4 – I’ve learned to be content in whatever state I’m in. I love that verse.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
9:55 am
Stop always saving all your vacation time to try and use it all up in one fell swoop
SexyCool – Yes ma’am. I fully believe in this. I break up my time and take vacations throughout the year. As well as mental health days where I am at home doing nothing because I can!
This year: Paris, Vegas, Cancun, Los Angeles (twice), San Francisco, and Miami (twice). Hopefully I can squeeze in a New Orleans trip too!
Grace
July 1st, 2009
9:55 am
Preach it Cemeeli
Grace
July 1st, 2009
9:58 am
Ared I thought I was the only one who used the term mental health days
Mo (aka Moeisha)
July 1st, 2009
9:58 am
Nice Topic WD! And you added OutKast to mix…
“Forever? Fah-eva, eva? Faheva-eva??”
I agree with WD/ARed, I have a Pollyanna view as well. I know that I wont like that Sap Sucka everyday (may contemplate rolling him down a flight of stairs) and vice versa.
“Is it more than commitment that makes it work?” it takes committment on a large scale. For example, change is inevitable even in relationships but a lot of times people dont want to acknowledge that their resistance to the changes is what is hurting the relationship. If you can work with your SO thru those changes (job, children, etc), then your relationship survives. Just my .02
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:00 am
I know that I wont like that Sap Sucka everyday (may contemplate rolling him down a flight of stairs) and vice versa.
kinderbabe
July 1st, 2009
10:00 am
@sexycool
i like your 9:45 post.
Rell - woodsman
July 1st, 2009
10:05 am
yea sexy cool and tazze feeling your flow dis morning
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
10:09 am
@Grace – All because of your name’s sake, is way some know the difference.
East Point's Own
July 1st, 2009
10:11 am
Of course relationships/marriages can last until death does them part… But it requires a few things:
#1 The couple must be a good match to begin with
#2 They both must communicate openly and honestly
#3 They both must be willing to negotiate and compromise,(nobody can have it their way all of the time)
#4 They must work together to keep the financial position of the family stable.
http://hispointofview.com/2009/06/mark-sanford/
Melo
July 1st, 2009
10:11 am
I know there are days where I would quite possibly imagine causing the demise of my husband
ehhhh,ehhhh,do i detect plagiarism here???!!
I Forget ure married,WD??
Forever?/ yeah,in my case,we plainning on it and i think it takes being in luv,comfortable and happy(smetimes??) to understand.
We do change with time,yes but there is a constant in there,we going to be tgether forever,no matter what,till death do us part!!!
If u have kids like us,it makes it kinda easy.Coz even tho we luv each other,our daily focus now is not necessarily urselves,us 2.It is about our future,tgether,our kids,our old age years etc and planning for all that.That is what makes it exciting and worth living for and why we wake up everyday looking forward to the new day.Coz we have unfulifilled ambitions,desires and goals.
So far,we havnt done badly,still believe we can pull this forever off and we looking forward to it.
But i do understand the other side of the coin too.
If u have had break up after break up after putting in ur very best,it can be depresssing!
Dont give up tho.Never ever give up on the human race.
There is smebody out there,for u.
Good morning yall!!
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:11 am
did anyone else read where Usher’s wife did not even know that he was filing for divorce???.
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
10:12 am
Hey Mo! My grandaddy used to say Sap Sucker…girl you made me smile thinking about him.
@SCool I agree with taking days off here and there. My favorite thing is taking a Friday and Monday off…on that Friday I will usually treat myself to the spa, some light shopping and a nice lunch…that Monday I sit around eating my Cap’n Crunch watching court TV or reading…straight chilling.
MusingLee
July 1st, 2009
10:13 am
Morn’in All,
I would like to think relationships can last forever. It’s not easy and it takes the determination and willingness of both participants to be fully committed to it. It takes putting desires that are detrimental to the relationship and not acting on them. Self control and selflessness are a very important part of that. You would never do something willingly to cause serious injury to your body. Think of your relationship as a joining of your two bodies and spirits. Why would you intentionally do something to seriously harm yourself? I just imagine the face of my wife crying from what I’ve done and I can resist anything.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:14 am
Ared I thought I was the only one who used the term mental health days
Grace – I think the term is quite popular. But oh so necessary. My DVR sits on 96% full throughout the year (still hoping to get some time to watch the entire last season of Heroes! Sheeesh, I haven’t gotten to one episode yet!!!
)
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
10:20 am
It takes putting desires that are detrimental to the relationship and not acting on them. Self control and selflessness are a very important part of that. You would never do something willingly to cause serious injury to your body. Think of your relationship as a joining of your two bodies and spirits.
MusingLee I agree on all fronts. Thanks!
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
10:20 am
@ Tazzee – We have Entertainment books if you’re interested.
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 1st, 2009
10:23 am
He’ll sleep with you even if he doesn’t want to be with you, girlfriend.
Okay..kay..kay?…AmRed guul you ain’t never lied on that one. I read the article myself and thought “I know you know better than that“….not unless Ursher’s been puttin’ it down like that
Mo (aka Moeisha)
July 1st, 2009
10:25 am
SexyCool – Im taking one of those days tomorrow. Cant wait! LOL.
Professor – hey home-chica, how are ya? My cousin and I say Sap Sucka all the time, one of my favorite old folk sayings!
East Point – like ya 10:11
Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again
July 1st, 2009
10:28 am
Grace – I love the entire chapter, many of my favorite verses come directly from Philippians 4.
Vacation Days – I’m the same way, I take a day here and there for long weekends. My mental health days come from sick time though. Unfortunately, I don’t get as many vacation days at this company as I have in the past so I really have to be creative. I haven’t gone out of the country this year – but I’ll charge that to the move.
Cemeeli – how much are they? I need to weigh that cost against the BOGO welcome to the neighborhood coupons and our employee discounts on things like movie tix, etc. Are they for a fundraiser? I’ll shell out the $$ for the kids. Send me the deets
MusingLee – love your post.
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
10:30 am
@Ared I saw that about Usher’s wife she even said they knocked the boots a few days before he filed. For her sake I hope that she is playing. It has to be heartbreaking not knowing your marriage is over…getting served with divorce papers and you think your man is just sending you flowers.
What do you think about the SC Gov stating his mistress is his soulmate and that he is trying to learn how to love his wife again?
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:34 am
My mental health days come from sick time though.
Tazzee – Mine too. I used to try and save up my sick days, and at the end of the year I still had 90% of em. I talked to my HR rep about it and she told me to use em when I felt the need. Even if I used em all up by the fall, if I was really sick, they would still give me the days! My company is pretty darn cool. So now I use at least one per month, so that by the time the end of the year rolls around I don’t have any more (it’s use em or lose em here at my company).
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:36 am
What do you think about the SC Gov stating his mistress is his soulmate and that he is trying to learn how to love his wife again
Professor – I’m thinking I’m ready for him to sit down and shut up already!
What do you think?
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
10:37 am
Mo – I’m joining you for tomorrows early weekend/holiday head start. I initially wanted to save it for another time, but my body is telling me ENOUGH already….out Fiscal year end drained me this year…we aquired to many things last year.
Tazzee Check your mail. They are $20 and 10 goes back to the AHA.
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 1st, 2009
10:42 am
Morning Gang!
Amred – I have not read the article yet, but weren’t they seperated for the last year? I thought I heard that. Anyway, she ain’t crazy! She must think we are though.
#1 The couple must be a good match to begin with
EPO – I SO agree with this! In fact, that was the first thing that came to my head in reading the topic! And there has to be room for EACH partner in the relationship to GROW over the years for it to survive. What I mean is, it stinks when one person grows or makes a change for the better and the other party can’t accept it. They want the person to stay stagnant. Change or growth in each other can breathe new life in a relationship and open the two of you up to new experiences that increase the longevity, add excitement! Lack of growth or variety is where boredom sets in and that can be dangerous.
No, don’t hook up with someone just because they are NICE! That’s a recipe for disaster! You should share some common interests, they should be attractive TO YOU and there needs to be some chemistry! Don’t just sign up for what they can offer NOW, sign up for what they can also offer DOWN THE ROAD! I’m not really talking material or financial, I’m talking stimulating conversation and other intagibles that people pass over but become so important.
Choose wisely people. Upgrade your selection process.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
10:48 am
Amred – I have not read the article yet, but weren’t they seperated for the last year? I thought I heard that.
kimmie – I have a close friend that used to be one of his accountants. She told me they were separated very soon after they married. But of course the were keeping up appareances though, especially as Usher was doing that whole “I love being a husband and father” angle in the press. (The Essence covers were cute tho
)
Sassy Me...juicy fruit and Trini to di bone :-)
July 1st, 2009
10:48 am
What do you think about the SC Gov stating his mistress is his soulmate and that he is trying to learn how to love his wife again?
See the spit fire Trini in me wouldn’t allow me to even stay after some shucky ducky like that went down.
Grace
July 1st, 2009
10:49 am
The Gov of SC states that he not only cheated on his wife with his mistress but also cheated on his mistress with other women. He should be tired, he’s got way to much going on.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
10:50 am
I believe in forever and I will have it…by any means necessary…its all about compromise in my eyes….on certain things
On OutKast..Big Boi’s new album is nice it will be out soon, then Dre’s (havent heard that one yet)..then the Album with both of them on it will be out at the end of the year.
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
10:51 am
ARed…I want him to sit down and close that mouth of his. I have some tape in my toolbox that will do the trick. Honestly I feel bad for his wife, because I would hate for my husband to sit down with the press talking about how in love he is with another woman. Long story short, if he is trying to make things happen with his wife he needs to be at home with his wife talking to her and not the press and if he wants his soul mate he needs to get on the first thing smoking and go find her and make that happen. I am willing to have a fish fry to raise money if he promise to stay out of the news…I am tired of seeing him with those bags under his eyes hollering over a mistress. Whew I do need some coffee!
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
10:52 am
sigh…
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
10:52 am
For ll of the playas..male or female…cheating is wrong but if you are going to cheat..atleast cheat up!!
Uh...baby...that ring done expired
July 1st, 2009
10:53 am
@ARed
I know…when I read it…I was like uh, I do not think that I would want ppl to know that we were still have intimate relations less than a week before he filed for divorce…TMI…lol…and she really did look sad and pathetic with that comment.
And Sanford just needs to fade away…his indiscretions as a political figure are nothing new in that realm of reality…he is just another one who got caught and now thinks everything should be business as usual…I think that they should be able to hang him with something for not designating the Lt. Gov to be in charge in Sanford’s absence…that should constitute some violation of the oath of office or something.
Dan
July 1st, 2009
10:53 am
@Kimmie
We spoke last week about the instant gratification problem in the culture, so asking someone to look years down the road is like asking them about the long term affects of eating McDonald’s $.99 menu everyday.
People don’t put 2 + 2 together.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
10:54 am
Whaddup up Ce!!!!!
Foots
July 1st, 2009
10:54 am
W8 Could you email me the info regarding that job that you spoke of a few days ago? Thanks. footswalker77@yahoo.com
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
10:55 am
@Sassy I would have to divorce him…he is really making this thing into a circus.
@Grace…I agree he has too much going. BTW, how do you cheat on your wife on girlfriend? What is the 3rd woman called, since the other titles are taken (mistress and wife)?
@W8 we missed you yesterday. I agree with your post regarding compromising
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
10:56 am
lol on the SC gov.. I think he and his wife both are really at fault..I dont think he should resign though…hell tons of folks would be without jobs if they had to resign for cheating…from old girl mopping the floor at Cap’n D’s to the President, CEO…etc..
Uh...baby...that ring done expired
July 1st, 2009
10:57 am
@Professor
The only title not taken is HoHoHo
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 1st, 2009
10:59 am
Amred – The Essence covers were cute. Concerning the SC gov, I meant to tell you yesterday you were right about him not really caring about not seeing those kids on Father’s Day! I read an interview of Jenny Sanford. She said while she had put him out 2 weeks prior, he is the one that told THE FAMILY that he wanted to go hiking to clear his head & do some writing! She said just what you said, that if he was concerned about his kids he would have stayed close by in SC so he could see them! I know you’ve probably heard too that she said after she found out about the affair, he ASKED her repeatedly COULD HE GO SEE ole girl in Argentina and she said no! Now, what wife would AGREE to that? Now why is she staying after he’s said ole girl is his SOULMATE?
MusingLee
July 1st, 2009
11:00 am
Professor, the third woman is called “the Jumpoff” chick. It’s he a Governor? Where did he find so much time for puddy snacks?!?!?!
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:00 am
W8 Ain’t really nuthin this way pimpin’.
Hope all is well with you.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:00 am
I believe in forever and I will have it…by any means necessary…
W8 – I guess you mean for the next time you marry then?
Ralph
July 1st, 2009
11:01 am
Hey, what happened to Blanca. I don’t see her on here anymore. Is she gone?
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:01 am
@Foots..its on the way now.
@Professor- Yesterday was the best…lazy is not in my makeup but i’ll be darned if it didn’t feel good..hell I just woke up around 930 this morning…sleep is goooooooodddd
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 1st, 2009
11:03 am
Dan – You right!
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:03 am
@Ce- All is good…..Help me think of a way to get the Chevelle hear from Oklahoma…Road trip!!!!!
@Ared- Yep..Im not going to make the same mistakes…I owe that to myself
@Kimmie- Hey Dawg!!
Professor (actually I need some coffee)
July 1st, 2009
11:05 am
Uh…baby I love the Ho ho ho…lol
Musing the Governor made it do what it do…I have said it time and time again a lot of men will not sleep or eat(real food), because they are clocking in overtime on the puddy clock.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:07 am
Yep..Im not going to make the same mistakes…I owe that to myself
W8 – I think singles believe in forever because they have never been married and have no clue what they’re getting into.
But having been married, would you say that if the other party (the woman you marry) isn’t willing to compromise, then there is not much else you can do? You wouldn’t stay just because you believe in forever, would you?
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:08 am
@Foots I sent it to you..and dont be all on this blog requesting me to do stuff in bold..lol
and ummm be careful depending on the guidance from up above I may be your boss if you get that job…lmao..
East Point's Own
July 1st, 2009
11:09 am
The few real issues with Sanford are
#1 being out of communication as the leader of the state
#2 telling lies to his constituency and the public at large
#3 Possibly using state funds and equipment for uses beyond resaonable personal use (driving the state vehicle to ATL to go to the airport)
#4 possibly planning trips using state funds with the primary purpose of visiting his mistresses & ( and using official state business as a reason for the trips)
you can read more of my thoughts on this subject here :
http://hispointofview.com/2009/06/mark-sanford/
kimmie-Her Royal Highness the Dutchess
July 1st, 2009
11:10 am
W8 – What’s shakin’?! Great that you LEARNED from your mistakes – some folk never do. And your mistakes/experiences did not make you bitter toward women and relationships, which is really great!
dw
July 1st, 2009
11:10 am
To quote another line from Andre of Outkast “they say nothing is forever, then what makes love the exception?” I think relationships can expire if you don’t preserve tham. Just like anything else with a use by date or expiration date,you have to do something to keep it fresh and keep it from spoiling or going bad.
I know that after each argument with my wife, even after the make-up sex, forever seems farther and farther away. However, I think it’s possible, if you keep pushing forward. On the other hand, sometimes the milk does spoil and you have to throw it out.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:11 am
Why is the Chevy in Oklahoma anyway? I’ ain’t playin’ with you and that….lol
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:12 am
@Ared- that’s why my screening process is so stringent…I wont catch everything..but hopefully I learn enough to know how a person would react to certain things…I think alot differently than most men I know that have been through a divorce..they do not wnat to get married at all…me I am the exact opposite..I’d rather have one woman and build with her….also…I like a seasoned woman…A woman who has been wild, been through some stuff…that way she has lived what she wants and what she doesnt want anymore and will fight that much harder to keep what she wants when she finds it…
Rell - woodsman
July 1st, 2009
11:13 am
A woman who has been wild, been through some stuff…that way she has lived what she wants and what she doesnt want anymore and will fight that much harder to keep what she wants when she finds it…
- things are not always that black and white when dealing with people…you would hope she would…
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:18 am
@Ce- I was out there for awhile..and left it there when I came back
and since we are quoted Dre’ today here is my addition:
So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see
Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be
And I apologize if this message gets you down
Then I CC’d every girl that I’d see see round town and
I hate to see y’all frown but I’d rather see her smiling
Wetness all around me, true, but I’m no island
Peninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy
Give up all this puddy cat thats in my lap no lookin back
Spaceships dont come equipped with rearview mirrors
They dip as quick as they can
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:18 am
@Ared- that’s why my screening process is so stringent…I wont catch everything..but hopefully I learn enough to know how a person would react to certain things…
W8 – You know I’m with you on that one!
SexyCool - Time, Unreplenishable, Non-Renewable
July 1st, 2009
11:19 am
ARed – I’ve been married before and I still believe in forever.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:20 am
“A woman who has been wild, been through some stuff…that way she has lived what she wants and what she doesnt want anymore and will fight that much harder to keep what she wants when she finds it”…
That’s just a “ride or die” a women to be down with your husband/man no matter what, through it all the good and the bad.
@W8 – Did you read where there will be citations today for unecessary wording/post.
Pay attention. lol…
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:20 am
@Rell- true, exceptions in every case though..I know I don’t want a green woman though
Oh really...wow
July 1st, 2009
11:21 am
Last night on Nancy Grace it was “breaking news” that Michael Jackson was not the biological father of his children…that a sperm donor was used to help conceive the children…uh, it that really breaking news…it is obvious that the children are not mixed…and some ppl are just now figuring this out????
anonymousella
July 1st, 2009
11:22 am
of COURSE “forever” is possible. total monogamy during that time? i’m far less convinced. my grandparents were married for 60+ years. my parents have been married for 40. and i know — why i know this is a whole ‘nother oprah — that infidelity was a part of both marriages. but then, my aunt and uncle have been together for 45 or 50 years. to my knowledge, neither of them has strayed.
so forever is possible. but you may have to accept a whole lot of stuff to get there.
Grace
July 1st, 2009
11:23 am
Professor he said that he crossed the line with the other women, never had sex with them.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:23 am
@Ce- You know I make my own rules..lol
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:23 am
ARed – I’ve been married before and I still believe in forever.
SexyCool and W8, I’m sure you guys believed that way before, when you were married?
Do you think you could have learned to “right the ship” if your spouse did not agree to a divorce? (Meaning, if you HAD to stick it out, do you think you could have found common ground to work it out?)
If I’m overstepping my bounds, my apologies. Y’all know I’m controversial.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:24 am
Thanks for the peck of “Int’l Players Anthem”….
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:25 am
Nancy Grace..needs a good backhand slap for her show period..lol
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:25 am
so forever is possible. but you may have to accept a whole lot of stuff to get there.
ella – I so agree with you on this. Using the examples my parents and grandparents have set (still married), I know that sometimes you can go YEARS without liking or loving the person you’re with. And some folks can’t live like this.
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:27 am
@Ared- here is something that will ruffle a few feathers on here..I didnt believe in forever before I was married..didnt even think about it..I learned what love was and the meaning of marriage after I was divorced…and then made the decision that I wanted forever…that’s strange huh?
@Ce- You are welcome
Oh really...wow
July 1st, 2009
11:31 am
@W8
Can I give her the backhand slap???…lol…heck, I would even pay to do it…why does she even have a show?????….lol
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:32 am
Rell/W8 – Yup. And the men seem to think when they DO find that “ride or die” that she’ll be just as gansta to leave as she was when she “fell in” for the team! I don’t get that!!!
If your woman goes out on the limb for you, don’t let that “unfamiliar territory”/”foreign act” deter your all knowing comparison to what Shikira, Lisa, and Jackie treated you.
Scared to “fall in” aka commit to her, is seen by a true fruit…i ain’t kdding!
SexyCool - Time, Unreplenishable, Non-Renewable
July 1st, 2009
11:32 am
Quite frankly, ARed, the first time I was married, forever was not something that I actively considered. (I just expected it.) I was not emotionally mature enough and did not possess enough self awareness to even consider how to get to forever or the work that it would required.
But even with all that, it was not me who chose to end the marriage. It was his choice. I was left to deal with the consequences of his decision.
In my next marriage, we will agree going in that everyday MAY not be “I love you.” (although it could), but every day will be “I choose you.”
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:32 am
that’s strange huh?
W8 – Actually it kinda makes sense, since you did indeed divorce. It shows that people really don’t think about they vows they are making when they say them.
I remember my sister’s wedding last summer. They were so deep, I wonder if she was struck by them the way I was. I just remember that no rational human could live up to the vows they were making. She should have read them first.
Cemeeli
July 1st, 2009
11:33 am
ah, i’d like to retract my last post. ‘cuase auh,…nevermind..
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:33 am
SexyCool – I love and respect that answer. Thank you for responding.
AmazonRed™ - Time flies
July 1st, 2009
11:35 am
I used to baby sit this kid of a couple that kept their marraige vows framed in their bedroom. Each time they walked out the room they were reminded of their vows. I plan to steal that idea.
Melo
July 1st, 2009
11:36 am
Y’all know I’m controversial
Ared,u funny!
Controversial like Blogoavich(whatever his russina name)
Anonymousalla
why i know this is a whole ‘nother oprah — that infidelity was a part of both marriages
who,among those 2 cpples u mentioned, strayed,grandpop,grandmom,pops or mom??
If they did and stayed tgether,they proly forgave each other,asked God for forgiveness and moved on.
Only God can judge them.
Jamoca
July 1st, 2009
11:37 am
Mornin’…
dw – really liked your analogy of preserving the relationship in order to prevent it from “spoiling”.
Okay, I’ll entertain the thought for a spell…However, I also admit (for me), if I were to EVER get married…divorce would not be an option…til the death, baby. And it would be imperative for he and I to make this thang work. And thankfully, I’m no stranger to hardwork, hardtimes, and/or struggling…whether or not I’m in a relationship. Without a few trials here and there, how would one truly know how to maintain themselves or the family as a whole without being tested…to me, if both individuals are up to the task, times like this, brings them that much closer, simply because their history was not only built on good times, but it actually thrived enough when falling on a few hard ones. Of course, I’m not a fan of the latter, but I’m well trained and certainly experienced enough to keep a level head nonetheless. So, with that being said….and as it has already been stated, both parties should have that same mindframe, to include a shyt load of resilience….its easy as heyal to fall, but muthasmucka to get back up…which is why I remain in “my own circle” of those who already know and have a few life lessons under their belts. I’ve just come to realize overtime, that’s people like this are less likely to jump ship in the midst of turmoil and are more likely to deal with whatever the issue head on…without any complaints of getting their hands a little dirty. It comes with the territory, so really it all would just boil down to how bad “you” (both) want it. IMO
-W8©(thoroughbred...)
July 1st, 2009
11:39 am
@Ce- Citation for your 11:32
@Oh Really- I don’t know what her problem is..I read her backstory..she needs to get over her hurt..get some good dyck or something..she is to wound up…
@Ared- it all makes sense to me now…lol funny my ex-wife is all extra nice and stuff now when I pickup drop off my daughter. I mean we dont have drama or nothing but the interactions have alwas been short and sweet no extra words..now she is all chatty and extra nice…something is up…I am on guard..lol
Rell - woodsman
July 1st, 2009
11:39 am
“ride or die” a women
- where are these mythical women????
the first time I was married, forever was not something that I actively considered. (I just expected it.) I was not emotionally mature enough and did not possess enough self awareness to even consider how to get to forever or the work that it would required.
But even with all that, it was not me who chose to end the marriage. It was his choice. I was left to deal with the consequences of his decision
- yep reads like me..just swap he for she…and same thing or same same
Jamoca
July 1st, 2009
11:40 am
Cee Naw, don’t retract a dayum thang, chica!
Speak!