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Defining Moments

It’s been surreal the past 24 hours. When news broke yesterday that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson passed away, I got pensive. I usually become this way around birthdays (mine is Sunday!), just to reflect. However,  growing a year older just as the pop icons of my youth pass away, I definitely begin to recognize my own mortality as much as theirs.

I think we all have defining moments in our lives that shaped us who were are as people. It may have been good or bad, involving love or hate, but it had an impact on us. I think one of my defining moments involving romance is my first heartbreak. When someone I cared about did something unforgivable, I think it transformed my ability to trust.

When you have someone you thought you loved do something horrible to you, it makes you second guess yourself. It was a defining moment that I continue to work through. What’s an experience that’s shaped how you are today?

If you don’t care to share your defining moments, feel free to talk about what’s on your mind. Think of today as a day to reflect, laugh, and appreciate life. Life is beautiful. Life is short.

539 comments Add your comment

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:53 am

Melo that’s because no one cares to make excuses for Joe Bloe. He is a nobody and he gets punished for what he does. Even if Joe Bloe’s mother begged at the mercy of the court to let him go free because he did not have a childhood therefore leading him to molest children, won’t nobody want to hear that.

Especially the mother’s of those children. The problem in MJ’s cases is the mothers were paid off. I guarantee if those women were not getting anything out of it they would not have looked the other way.

That’s just like a woman looking the other way when her child tells her that man that is her boyfriend is molesting said child. Some of those mothers don’t want to be without that man so they look the other way.

Melo you telling me if a man molested one of your kids you would be okay with that given his history of not being able to go out and play with his was a little boy. You will tell the court to let him go free.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:55 am

Weight I am done with this discussion for real this time. As a mother I cannot think of any scenario that I would be okay with someone acting inappropriate towards my kids or any kid for that matter.

I guess it’s just the mother in me.

What you got planned for the 4th?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

June 26th, 2009
11:56 am

@ Raqi re: “I imagine every individual sitting in jail can give you a story of their past why they ended up how they did. While there are 5 outside of the prison that can give the same story but made better choices in life despite it”.

I agree 100%. Every one (except for a few true psychopaths maybe) has an awareness of right and wrong, no matter what kind of childhood he/she had. We all make choices regarding our actions and the consequences of those actions. Somehow “accountability” is apparently a word from some dead language these days.

Dan

June 26th, 2009
11:56 am

@W8

No, you cannot excuse choice.

But what you can do is to try and relate to the conditions that created the person that made the choice<— empathy

For whatever Mike did and didn’t do, his life was abnormal at best, criminally negligent at worst. But we can choose to remember the man as a recluse, a pervert, and/or a musician (some would argue one of the greatest).

In the end, it’s the perception of the person making that judgment. I can only say that with all my personal faults, I would hope that when I meet my maker the good outnumbers the bad.

bringing joy and memories to Billions and whatever else he’s done in his life. But I’m not qualified to make that decision (over my pay grade)

Dan

June 26th, 2009
11:59 am

Scenario:

A fireman risks life and limb to to save a child from a burning building only later to discover that he beat his wife.

Does that make him any less a hero, or a courageous man? Does that excuse his more heinous actions?

These are not things to be adjudicated by man, IMO.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 26th, 2009
11:59 am

@Sassy- How do I know that the incoming email will be about P90X

Stop it W8….u got jokes,huh :)

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
12:02 pm

RandyT – thanks for sharing that. Sometimes it takes awhile..

Cemeeli – I’m glad my foot in your tail resulted in minimal errors ;-)

AmRed – you have an answer for everything. I want my free trip to Cali and I want it now!!! :lol:

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:03 pm

No one is saying forgive anyone for doing anything inappropriate to little kids. I’m saying just understand like someone said earlier, the cause of why things like this happened. And there are a myriad of different reasons. In fact, I bet Psychologists and Sociologists would argue different perspectives based on certain things. I, for one, come from the Sociological perspectives, which basically believes that these type of things happen in large part, because of the person’s environment and the societal factors in which they were raised. JMHO.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
12:04 pm

So Dan him saving that child should excuse him from beating his wife??? Really???

I am not saying MJ was not a great artist, I said that in my first comment but that does not excuse his other actions.

Should that fireman’s wife who gets beat overlook the beatings because her husband pays the bills? Or in your example, saved that child. Should just pretend like the beatings aren’t happening because he did his job as a fireman?

abc

June 26th, 2009
12:06 pm

I would not characterize Michael Jackson as a musician. He was a singer, entertainer and media superstar. Singers are not musicians by definition. Once upon a time singers weren’t even allowed to join the Musician’s Union; now all you have to do to join is sign up online and pay dues with a credit card.

Moreover, characterizing RKelly as a ‘musical genius’ is a gross misrepresentation. That’s just crazy. True musical genius is not illiterate in the ways of reading, writing, composing, orchestrating, arranging and performing music, and all you have to do is listen to RKelly to discover that he knows nothing of any of those things — if one is trained in those skills themselves, it’s quite obvious that he’s not a musician at all, much less a ‘musical genius’.

Kym-Smooth Criminal

June 26th, 2009
12:07 pm

Well I will be making my way to I-tunes next week to get Off the Wall and some other songs for the pod.

Melo

June 26th, 2009
12:07 pm

Melo that’s because no one cares to make excuses for Joe Bloe

Right!!,and blame it on the news media coz they dont wanna waste space so they can give u the next riveting piece of news to fill copy and ad space.Its called American capitalism< :arrow: money!!!.
And they give u a whole lot of space about MJ coz of what??U guessed it,money..that plays into our minds and how we process it.
I aint blaming joe blow,all im saying if i knew more about him LIKE i know MJ, I proly wld not be so judgemental,maybe a lil understanding.
Melo you telling me if a man molested one of your kids you would be okay
The person aggrieved is the least objective,,in this example of urs me, but i may try.
Letting me have that info about joe blow at trial is proly too late to affect my emotions and objectivity.Depending on the defense strategy thru discovery,if i get a detailed piece about that person’s lyfe and iam willing to read it and process,maybe well before hand, i proly wld be more understanding.May not be okay with it , to use ur wrd,but may forgive him and let the justice system run its own course.
I am still not sure who okayed MJ or absolved him of blame if any.He went to court,was judged by a jury of his peers,paid money to settle some of the fall out and is due to meet the Man if not already,so what u talking about??

Beautiful

June 26th, 2009
12:10 pm

i love you michael! :’o(

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:10 pm

ABC, like I said earlier, some people think R. Kelly is a musical genius for his contrubution to the modern music. You may not think so, but others would disagree with you.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
12:11 pm

Tazzee Girl, i just appreciate you sis.

AH…you know he is waaaaayy…way…way…way better in concert/live than he is on ANY song on his CDs.

Moca I will join you. :)

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:12 pm

Hey Angie. Glad you could join us:) How’s it going with dude? Are you taking it easy on him?

abc

June 26th, 2009
12:12 pm

Page, that’s because those people wouldn’t know music if it were blasted at them point-blank at 200db. Straight up ignorance of what music is is the only thing that could lead them to such a conclusion.

Dan

June 26th, 2009
12:13 pm

No, Raqi, I’m not saying that.

I’m talking about judging one (or many) bad events in a person’s life to the one (or many) good events.

Existentially, what makes a man, the good, the bad, the combination of both? I’m just saying some people git real outofpocket talking about the faults and failings of others without REALLY being able to make the same self assessment.

Because if we truly did, no one could claim faultless.

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
12:14 pm

@Raqi- I don’t know what I am dong for the fourth but I do know a grill will be involved..lol..and I am not responsible for the sides..lol

Hmmm, I guess some of those catholic priest are okay because they are doing God’s work in addition to molesting kids right? They get a pass? (My attempt at sarcasm)

Melo

June 26th, 2009
12:14 pm

abc

A musician is a person who plays or writes music. Musicians can be classified by their roles in creating or performing music:

An instrumentalist plays a musical instrument.
A singer (or vocalist) uses his or her voice as an instrument.
Composers, songwriters and arrangers create musical compositions, songs and arrangements. These may be transcribed in music notation, performed or recorded.
A conductor leads a musical ensemble. A conductor can simultaneously act as an instrumentalist in the ensemble.

I see MJ AND RKELLY both in there as singers.
Get off ur fccking high horse!

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:15 pm

ABC, do you know what music is?

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
12:15 pm

Raqi – I’m going to the Essence Music Festival for the 4th. I’m excited about getting away from here and having some mindless fun for a couple of days. I’m really looking forward to seeing Ledisi in concert. I contemplated seeing her last Friday but I’m supposed to be on some semblance of a budget.

But since I’m going to be traveling I need to fire up my grill real soon in the next month or so. It’s not like me to go this long without some food on the grill. In the interim, I might hit up KC Pit BBQ tonight.

Wise Diva

June 26th, 2009
12:15 pm

Thanks for all the birthday wishes and kind words, I appreciate it! *muah* :)

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:16 pm

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
12:17 pm

you have an answer for everything

Tazzee – :oops: so. :lol:

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
12:19 pm

No one gets a pass, really. I have to agree with Raqi on this issue. We have to look at the person as a whole and greatness in one area does not excuse the shortcomings in other areas. However, because I wasn’t there I can’t comment on the guilt or innocence of MJ. That is for God and God alone to assess and judge.

Beautiful

June 26th, 2009
12:20 pm

good morning PAGE!
yea, i am. (giggle) i’m letting him lead this here. i had to read up on SAGS and it stated to be patient with him . . . to sit back in the cut and chill. so that’s what your gurl is gonna do.

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
12:20 pm

Michael says: Stop talking bout my personal life. Just focus on the music man. 8)

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
12:20 pm

nobody is faultless and the playing field is not even

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
12:21 pm

Micheal’s music is being played at the highest right now, from local stations to all corners of the Earth. It’s amazing how Micheal is a worldwide icon to people all over the world.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:22 pm

Angie! Yayyyy! Good for you. Just still down somewhere and chill girl lol. I don’t really get into astrology, so I couldn’t tell you anything about it. Sometimes, it seems to me to be a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and generalities. *sighs*

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
12:23 pm

A personal mantra of mine:

So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life aint so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

8) 8) 8)

Dan

June 26th, 2009
12:23 pm

How about this, on the Atlantic website:

- A post asking the question “what does Barack Obama owe Micheal Jackson” by – you guess it, a white guy;

- A post by a webmaster Ta-Neishi Coates articulating the moral and religious equvalency that I am, and he’s closed the post because of negative comments (apparently from people who signed up to only post negative comments).

Love him or hate his works (love the sinner, hate the sin) the man was at the very least dynamic

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
12:24 pm

i had to read up on SAGS and it stated to be patient with him . . . to sit back in the cut and chill. so that’s what your gurl is gonna do.

Angie – Despite what you think, I want the best for you. Truly. Please just be yourself. Do what Angie would normally do.

QC

June 26th, 2009
12:25 pm

Have a great day/weekend bloggers..HAPPY BIRTHDAY “WD”

Hey “Musing” it’s always good to read you :) where’s “DEMI aka Cape Crusader”

HOLLA!

http://www.blackthen.com

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
12:25 pm

Kym Do you like garage sales? We are having a community sale tomorrow morning and my friend is burning/copying MJ mixed CDs so we can sell or give-a-way with every purchase at tomorrows sale. Of course it was not mentioned in our distribution email so people will be surprised to get the CD with their purchase.

You have an email?

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
12:26 pm

His music is fine by me…it just amazes me how people make it so personal before this week when was the last time you thought of MJ?

Beautiful

June 26th, 2009
12:27 pm

@LEGGS
i ain’t mad atchu anymore. lol.

@POPPA
it’s you i’m mad at!!! (mean muggin’)

ok, look at the blog comment below from yesterday. see the time of the comment? now read the last sentence of the comment.

your azz is grass!

*****************************************

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:23 pm

Raqi
I have no idea. I only know that she died because CNN sends me breaking news texts to my smartphone. They sent it to me while I was typing that particular post so acknowledged it.
EdMcMahon, Farrah Fawcett, _______________ (who will be the 3rd?)
*****************************************

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:28 pm

QC why do you always post that website?

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:29 pm

ARed…awwwwwwwww *tear* lol

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
12:30 pm

@ Tazzee – I’m missing lunch because Point Of It All is in my ear right now. It’s funny the two Ant…well i’ll get at you with that comment.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
12:31 pm

LOL Angie, so are you saying that PG already knew MJ died when he posted that? *looking at PG* lol I think he said he did know.

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
12:31 pm

Page – It’s QC’s brother’s site. Remember Darrell? Yeah, she used to give us updates about him from time to time. At last we heard he had met someone and was getting married. But she hasn’t let us know if they’re in wedded bliss or anything now. She just does her hi and goodbye posts.

But she’ll pub her bros website while she checks in.

M'

June 26th, 2009
12:32 pm

@W8

before this week when was the last time you thought of MJ?

Funny that you ask this question…I was just thinking about him within the last week or so…I was playing some of my favorite MJ staples…I live in my old school music…and I thought about how he looked so physically deteriorated at the press conference that he did a few months back announcing his tour…and funny again too, I was also wondering if he or Prince would be the first to go…some strange thought took over my “visions”…and I do not know why I had that thought…I just did.

Melo

June 26th, 2009
12:32 pm

send me email toO about it CEE

Melo

June 26th, 2009
12:33 pm

But she hasn’t let us know if they’re in wedded bliss or anything now

Ared,u mad me chuckle. :lol:

abc

June 26th, 2009
12:34 pm

Melo, musicians would tend to disagree with your assessment, especially classical and jazz musicians. MJ himself may never have achieved his pop success without one of the true American musical geniuses of our time, Quincy Jones. His was the genius; MJ’s was the performance of it.

Yes, Page, I certainly know what music is. I know its history and representation all over the world — quite a bit beyond what American pop culture would put forth.

Gain some perspective. The best selling album of all time is ‘The Eagle’s Greatest Hits’, released in 1976. Based on that sales achievement, would you call anything The Eagles ever did ‘musical genius’? Fact is, true musical genius is generally recognized pretty early on, is cultivated and schooled, and winds up in genres that aren’t all that popular. For instance, the principal clarinetist in the Atlanta Symphony shows more musical genius in a single performance than RKelly does in his entire catalog, and she’s merely a very, very good musician.

Popularity does not represent real musical value.

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
12:34 pm

riinnngggg

Me”hey lil sis whats up”

Her” I need to get on a plane”

Me”for what”

Her”I want to go to MJ’s funeral and I want to know if you can get me on a plane when they give the info’

Me:CLICK..(hung up)

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
12:34 pm

Raqi

Poppa he saw something because he would never have entertained that fake marriage with Lisa Marie Presley if he didn’t need to prove that he was a grown man.

I don’t think that he made that decision. People always told him what to do. He had handlers, entourage, etc. He was worried more about image.

I think that the Neverland was him.

But whatever, his peers acquitted him and I respect their decision. He lived in their community, not mine.

Going to that Bad concert, and seeing grown women screaming, yelling, and crying just because they were in the same room as him, just showed me the level of fame that he had. No part of his life was normal at all. So, it is difficult to just it against anybody that I know. He had a level of fame that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

He couldn’t go to Popeye’s and get a two-piece if he wanted to do so without fans, paparazzi, etc following him. I bet you and most people that you know. Without normalcy, there is no place to retreat when things really get crazy.

There is no real comparison.

R.Kelly is no way near the level of star that Michael was. Worldwide appeal is no way close. America maybe, but try Australia.

It is no comparison.

It is funny that I am even making this argument. My wife was looking at me in disbelief last night because I was watching the NBA draft. She was wondering why wasn’t sitting with her watching the MJ coverage.

Beautiful

June 26th, 2009
12:36 pm

@PAGE
i believe in all that stuff: jinks, ghosts, horoscopes, after life, aliens, etc. POPPA couldn’t have known, cause MICHAEL passed around 3:00ish i believe. it’s just not cool to do that. but i’m sure he and others around the world didn’t mean any harm.