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Defining Moments

It’s been surreal the past 24 hours. When news broke yesterday that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson passed away, I got pensive. I usually become this way around birthdays (mine is Sunday!), just to reflect. However,  growing a year older just as the pop icons of my youth pass away, I definitely begin to recognize my own mortality as much as theirs.

I think we all have defining moments in our lives that shaped us who were are as people. It may have been good or bad, involving love or hate, but it had an impact on us. I think one of my defining moments involving romance is my first heartbreak. When someone I cared about did something unforgivable, I think it transformed my ability to trust.

When you have someone you thought you loved do something horrible to you, it makes you second guess yourself. It was a defining moment that I continue to work through. What’s an experience that’s shaped how you are today?

If you don’t care to share your defining moments, feel free to talk about what’s on your mind. Think of today as a day to reflect, laugh, and appreciate life. Life is beautiful. Life is short.

539 comments Add your comment

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:00 am

I wonder if R. Kelly will get this much love when he dies.

Professor

June 26th, 2009
11:01 am

@Kinder she did an excellent job…she did her own show in Atlantic City this earlier this month. I really wanted to go, but I was under contract for something else and could not be in two places at one time…

Professor

June 26th, 2009
11:02 am

@W8 I don’t think R. Kelly will get this much love if he dies, unless he step up his game. IMO R. Kelly is no MJ

kinderbabe

June 26th, 2009
11:03 am

@sassy
thank you for your comment. i work w/children and love them very much. it is an extremely sensitive topic for me when ppl want to apply a “one size fits all” mentality to actions of others. all of the children i’ve taught over the years were beautiful and unique. i think of how much i would have missed out on as a teacher if i had treated all of them the same regardless of their circumstances. an animal that walks like a duck and quacks ain’t always a duck. it could be a misguided goose…lol. i say that to explain that taking time to look at not just the outside but the inner characteristics can avoid alot of misdiagnosing. i have seen so much in the past decade in the children i’ve serviced. i think often about how misunderstood they will be in life b/c not everyone will take the time to see who they really are. it can be overwhelming at times….it is true that we all have endured hardships and turmoil but we have processed those events much differently b/c of our differences. that is not a bad thing, it just contributes to our uniqueness.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:03 am

ForReal – I wore a white doll dress with a black shrug. I was on the floor about 12 rows from stage, right side. Sound box was abut 5 rows behind us.

Where did you seat?

Tazzee I didn’t see you crying. So i’m still proud! Btw – Anthony was taking me to another place lastnight. My friends were like (aren’t we the ones that’s been drinking? Cee you are a FAN!! for for real) Yes i AM! I’m almost tempted to go to Augusta to see him tonight. My family memeber will be in the house…lol. hmmmm

i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)

June 26th, 2009
11:03 am

“I wonder if R. Kelly will get this much love when he dies.”

C’mon, W8 — ease up on R. Kelly… That pi$$ was DIGITAL :lol:

kinderbabe

June 26th, 2009
11:04 am

@professor
i’m gonna have to check her out. i love both of her albums. she is a songstress indeed!:)

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:05 am

I think all of the stuff being said about MJ and why or why he wasn’t normal or abnormal is just speculation based on what has been seen in the media.

W8- Of course R.Kelly would not. I think some would argue that R. Kelly doesn’t have the worldwide appeal that MJ had, not to mention, many people forget what a huge philantropist MJ was and how his efforts with Live Aid brought worldwide attention to famine and world hunger.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:07 am

Cee what is a shrug?

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:07 am

@Professor- You are right R.Kelly liked older kids than MJ, so they are not the same. R.Kelly has had a bigger impact than MJ the last 20 years(writing for the likes of Celine,Mariah, etc etc and his own stuff)..so we shall see cuz they both got off the hook a bit legally.

@Swiss- If you dont want to get pee’d on get out the way..lol

Melo

June 26th, 2009
11:07 am

And for the record,MJ neva got excuses.
He was tried and acquitted,he reportedly paid tons of money to settle other cases and has been ridiculed and was in financial peril,possibly due partly to all of that.So he paid his dues to society,and hes facing his maker,right now as we play and type.
And uall here,paying tributes.
Hes a champ!!! and i doubt now of u haters will have a better funeral? :lol:

Professor

June 26th, 2009
11:07 am

@kinder…she is indeed…I am hoping that she will play Atlantic City again.

***I am wishing you all a happy weekend. I am off today so I am headed out.****

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
11:08 am

Professor – I posted on my FB page that I wish they could have given 15-30 minutes of Musiq’s set to Chrisette. Honestly, I didn’t enjoy Musiq at all. I was looking for him to sing So Beautiful and it just didn’t work for me.

Cemeeli – you had on a black and white baby doll dress ;-) Yeah, Anthony took me there. He started on fire, I almost started crying when he performed The Point Of It All. Then he took us to church. I’ve always liked his voice but his most recent album is the only one I’ve purchased. Guess who will be downloading the rest this evening? :arrow: me

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:08 am

@Page- Don’t forgot R.Kelly’s I believe I could fly days..you’d be surprised at whom he has writte for and the songs he has put out..he is not just mr nasty man…at all..

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
11:08 am

Raqi

I don’t think that he every really mentally grew up. So I doubt that he saw himself as a 40 year old.

There were way too many references to Peter Pan. Neverland Ranch was a manifestation of it. Zoo and amusement Park.

Don’t forget that Peter Pan refused to grow up. In many ways, so did MJ.

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
11:09 am

3 people called in saying they we so distraught that they were taking the day off to grieve

I was a pretty big fan, but that is ridiculous.

MJ always got my vote in the MJ or Prince debate.

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
11:10 am

Mike didn’t write most of the songs about relationships.

Quincy Jones did.

Mike wrote stuff like We are the World, Black & White, Man in the Mirror.

Floetry wrote “Butterflies”.

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
11:12 am

Favorite video is Remember the Time

But the sexiest (and my close 2nd) is In the Closet. Naomi set that video A BLAZE. (I think I just found my Halloween costume :lol: )

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:12 am

W8- Yep, I remember that R. Kelly in some people’s eyes is also considered a musical genius due to his incredible writing, composing, and his all around talent.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:14 am

Tazzee I shared with the blog yesturday how Anthony Hamilton recieved GREAT reviews in Miami. “Point of it All” was the business! I’m still relishing the performance. WITH HIS COUNTRY SELF! He is the fire… i’m so glad i made it!

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
11:15 am

I love Floetry’s demo version of Butterflies – can’t even listen to MJ sing it because theirs is so HOT.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:15 am

ARed- I love Remember The Time. When my cousin Josie was selected to be in the video we all were pumped because she was telling us that the video was going to have a lot of people in it, which it did, like Magic, Iman, Eddie Murphy….that video was groundbreaking at that point in time. Josie was one of the Flyy Girls on In Living Color and when she did the Remember The Time Video, she mentioned that some of the other Flyy Girls were jealous.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:18 am

MusiqChild with that Girl Band and the too-too skirts and high-top wanna be AllStar’s kinda threw me. Then the roses and white teddy bears…anyway. They did good on the old school songs.

Chrisette should have been given more time. I agree Professor.

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:20 am

Floetry’s Butterflies is hot

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:20 am

Nah Weight I am stepping away because like I said we can go back and forth with this to no end. I still say if it was just any old Joe Bloe out there having his mug shot plastered all over the media for having little boys sleeping in his bed some of the people making excuses for MicJac will not even be wondering if that man had his childhood taken away nor would they even be trying to find. They would just see him as a pervert that likes to sleep with little boys.

MusingLee

June 26th, 2009
11:21 am

The house falls black, fog bellows from the stage right entrance, a single spotlight peers into the thick plume. Nothing but a sparkle can be seen. Then you hear the “click, click” of polished leather shoes, next a glimpse of pearly white socks, black pants….A wave of people stand as if catapulted from their seats.. Kids are screaming, grown women are crying and hugging each other, men are jumping with arms outstretched. Mike does a four step combo to no music; you hear the scratch of his shoes across the stage. He now stands with his famous diamond encrusted red zipper jacket flapping in the wind, white shirt beneath. There is a combustible energy in the crowd and it’s searching for a spark. Michael slowly grabs his right pant leg, lifts his foot and swivels around landing with clutched fist raised. The bass line can be heard beating beneath the screams, keeping the crowd alive. Mike’s face is frowned and focused. Eyes glaring, hips churning….This is want the crowd wants……Billie Jean!! Someone shouts…A woman from the front row can be seen being carried away after fainting. A man in the balcony looks as if he will climb over the ledge to get a better picture. Michael grabs the mic, singing “She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene..” The crowd erupts; you can barely hear the rest of the lyrics. Mike is thrusting his hips with robotic accuracy…The moment is magical, seemingly slowing in time. Most hoping Billie Jean never ends and Mike dances forever. But before you know it, the sparkly glove is raised and Mike is being lowered into the belly of the stage. Bright lights and smoke machines cover his escape. Your chest is thumping, the crowd is chanting, little girls are crying and clutching stuff animals, but Mike has left the building.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:21 am

OMG kids are soooo cute! My friend just emailed me and said that her 10 year old daughter asked her this morning “Ok, mom, so if Michael Jackson died….when he goes to heaven, is he going to be the black Michael Jackson or the white Michael Jackson”?

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:22 am

@Raqi – I agree fully with your 11:20

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
11:22 am

I think I can let you fly me out to Cali so I can try In-N-Out Burger again. Let me know when you wanna book that flight

Tazzee – I was gonna stow you in my luggage actually. You down for that? :lol:

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:24 am

Poppa he saw something because he would never have entertained that fake marriage with Lisa Marie Presley if he didn’t need to prove that he was a grown man. Which he was, he was just a grown man that liked inappropriate behaviors with little boys.

But his music was and still is great works of art. Can’t never take that away from him.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:24 am

I disagree with Raqi’s 11:20.

LOL Tazzee, you have to give In-N-Out Burger another chance, please!! ARed will even treat you to a chocolate milk shake lol.

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
11:26 am

One performance that stands out to me was at an award show where he was to perform but fractured or broke his ankle. He was carried out to the stage with its Egyptian theme and tore that song up. Even Ervin Johnson was impressed. I stood up in my living clapping!

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
11:27 am

Honestly, I didn’t enjoy Musiq at all.

Tazzee – That’s part of the reason why I didn’t press to attend. I love Anthony, but I saw him when he came to town with Heather Headley (great concert!). And I knew Chrisette was an after thought in the line up.

Glad you got 2 out of 3 tho!

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
11:28 am

AmRed – by the time you pay for the weight of your luggage with me in it, you might as well buy me a ticket ;-)

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
11:29 am

AmRed – by the time you pay for the weight of your luggage with me in it, you might as well buy me a ticket

Tazzee – I’m an elite flier on Delta. Three bags are free! :lol:

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:31 am

LOL Weight. Ah…you know I think imma ask Mason to go to the Sweet Auburn Market tomorrow and get some ribs for the 4th. I was thinking about doing some pulled pork also. It’s been a while since I did one of those.

Maybe we’ll have some fresh coleslaw and corn on the cob also. Maybe I can get my s-i-l to make some of her awesome baked beans.

Been Thru It All

June 26th, 2009
11:32 am

sup folks….

@Raqi…I agree with your 11:20 also….BUT
I also like to know what caused “Joe Blow” to mess with little children also…I tell me wife all the time, don’t get caught up looking at the end results, see what CAUSED the end results…If people could see how Jeffrey Dahmer lived as a child, we probably could stop the next one…

dw

June 26th, 2009
11:33 am

@musing lee–WOW! Beautiful!!!

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:34 am

@ Page – Shrugs are those short sweaters. You’ve seen them around…mine was short sleeve and ties in the front. I love them, expecially wearing a spaghetti strap last night.

@ Tazzee – :) Yea i’m confused (white and black) was my color. I’m so glad drinked ONE sprite. How do folks justify $4 for a cup of soda, and not feel bad charging that?…my friend bought it but…i’m still a lil upset.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 26th, 2009
11:35 am

W8/N8 you’ve got mail.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:36 am

MusingLee I’m there bruh…i’m there…i remember Billie Jean performance well.

Thanks for that.

Melo

June 26th, 2009
11:37 am

I disagree with Raqi’s 11:20, ME TOO

the pervert that u hear about on the ajc newspage or on the eve news,u dont hear about his whole lyfe or any of his redeeming qualities at length like u know about MJ.Thats the nature of the bizz.
So the 2 are remotely comparable.
If u did hear about joe blow as much as u heard about MJ,in ur face,constantly and incessantly etc,u wld be swayed.
Like Tyler Perry said today in the morn,he was a celeb but he is smebody son and if u cut him,he wld still bleed blood.
The folks we see eve day smetimes,on the train,on the bus,in the news,run down by a train etc seem like a statistic coz we dont know as much about them as we thoght we knew MJ(THOSE WHO DID OFCOURSE)
Thats what makes this diiferent.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:38 am

Ohhhhhhhhhhh ok Cee, yes ok, I know what a shrug is now. OMG weren’t you hot with that on? Last night it was sooooooo hot when I was on my way home. Me and humidty do NOT get along! I’d much rather have Phoenix or Las Vegas heat! *fanning myself*

MS.M.B

June 26th, 2009
11:40 am

@PROFESSOR

I’m mostly a lurker around here, but my dad has passed too and I can really relate to where you said life:

1. before daddy
2. after daddy

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

June 26th, 2009
11:40 am

If I can talk briefly about faith, Andy Stanley, the minister at North Point, said something in one of his series that I have seen the wisdom of many times since. He said if you wait long enough, “you will see the thumbprint on the glass”.

There have been a number of “defining moments” in my life, many of them causing me to look skyward and ask the big “why?” question. The answer comes eventually, but almost never in the time frame I would like it to. Now when I look back, although I would not wish some of those “defining moments” on anyone, I understand now why they had to happen to bring me to where I am and who I have become.

Maybe some of you know him, I only know of him, but there is a Reverend Otis Moss. Andy Stanley was standing with him at a prayer breakfast a few months ago where they were going to be introduced to the first African American President. Rev. Moss told Andy some of his story, a teenaged black orphan in middle GA during the 1950’s, part of the civil rights movement, and had seen some of the worst that this country had to offer and somehow came to and kept his faith. He recited a familiar Bible verse to Andy, Romans 8.28, that says “and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him”. Then Rev. Moss got a distant look in his eye and said, “but sometimes it takes awhile”.

Wait long enough and, IMHO, one does see the “thumbprint”. “Sometimes it takes awhile”.

Page1908- The Countess

June 26th, 2009
11:41 am

Wow, I actually agree with Melo’s 11:37. Also, the so-called Joe Blow’s history is almost always talked about. Typically, the first thing asked is something relating to abuse or what kind of childhood they had, etc. I guess for me during my career in Social Work and Child Welfare I see it in a different way. I also agree with Kinderbabe’s assessment earlier.

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:41 am

@Sassy- How do I know that the incoming email will be about P90X

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
11:44 am

BeenThruItAll although you initially agree, the but in your statement leads me to say, well if that’s the case we may as well empty out the prisons and let every man and woman go free ‘cause every criminal got their story.

Whether they didn’t have a father figure around, or their mother whipped their behind abused them, or they grew up in poverty stricken environments, or they were robbed of their childhood we all can appoint blame for the error of our ways. I imagine every individual sitting in jail can give you a story of their past why they ended up how they did. While there are 5 outside of the prison that can give the same story but made better choices in life despite it.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
11:45 am

OMG! YAY!

Tazzee Thank you sooo much sis! I was really diligent in my entering yesturday. I only had one error, that’s not really an error with my accounts yesturday. Because i put in the work early…i was less stressed yesturday afternoon.

I was a little nervous checking my entries this morning. I’ve been doing this to long.

Baron Von W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 26th, 2009
11:45 am

So it’s “I grew up a certain way please excuse my perversions?”