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Defining Moments

It’s been surreal the past 24 hours. When news broke yesterday that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson passed away, I got pensive. I usually become this way around birthdays (mine is Sunday!), just to reflect. However,  growing a year older just as the pop icons of my youth pass away, I definitely begin to recognize my own mortality as much as theirs.

I think we all have defining moments in our lives that shaped us who were are as people. It may have been good or bad, involving love or hate, but it had an impact on us. I think one of my defining moments involving romance is my first heartbreak. When someone I cared about did something unforgivable, I think it transformed my ability to trust.

When you have someone you thought you loved do something horrible to you, it makes you second guess yourself. It was a defining moment that I continue to work through. What’s an experience that’s shaped how you are today?

If you don’t care to share your defining moments, feel free to talk about what’s on your mind. Think of today as a day to reflect, laugh, and appreciate life. Life is beautiful. Life is short.

539 comments Add your comment

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
8:51 am

Although this is a sad day, Good morning everyone!

We asked yesterday who would be the 3rd person to go w/our Maker. No one would have thought it would be Michael Jackson. R.I.P. Mr. Jackson. You were truly loved. Your music will live on forever. I am so so sad and still in disbelief.

Your Stockbroker.

June 26th, 2009
8:53 am

Due to the death of Mr Jackson, I have advised my clients that any of them holding stock in companies that involve the manufacture and/or sale of Demerol and/or Xanax should SELL immediately.

Due to the death of Mr Jackson, I have advised my clients that any of them holding stock in companies that involve the manufacture and/or sale of skin bleach, bleach, Esoterica and other skin bleaching products should SELL immediately.

AmazonRed™ - Pretty Young Thang

June 26th, 2009
8:56 am

Morning all –

Sad news indeed. MJ is associated with so many happy memories from my childhood. I was at his BAD concert for pete’s sake!

My definining moment in dating: Probably when my college sweetheart and I broke up and he ceased contact cold turkey. I was devistated, I was insistant I needed “closure” and I did way extra to get it. But at the end of the day, I realized that once it’s done, it’s done and no amount of arguing or “stating my peace” will change someone’s mind, other than confirming he made the right decision.

It was a great lesson to learn early, and I’ve been making swift and clean breaks ever since and it has prevented TONS of messiness and drama from my life!

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
8:59 am

One of my defining moments that helped mold who I am today was when I was 19 and I left my mother’s home for the first time and got on a plane to attend college here in Georgia. Although I was scared shytless, my mother enstilled in me the strength and belief that I could do anything if I worked hard at it. I will never forget getting off that plane and dropping my heavy trunk on some man’s toes cuz I was crying and missed grabbing the handle. With the Grace of God and my mothers continued belief in me and my belief in “self,” I’m still forging ahead.

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
9:03 am

Good Morning Folks!!!

I’m still saddened and a bit numb about the passing of Michael Jackson. The thing is, I was never a big fan – sure I loved Thriller and Off the Wall, but it was more because everyone else was into him and his music was everywhere. The thing is, he was such a HUGE part of my generation. I remember going to see the Jackson 5 in concert when I was little. I’m talking about little to the point where the memory is a bit foggy. I remember teasing my older sister about her crush on Michael Jackson and us getting into multiple fights because of my teasing. I remember rushing home from school the day The Thriller video premiered and begging my grandmother to let me watch it. I remember a friend of mine that had every Michael Jackson button there was and wearing them ALL on her jacket.

So many memories….

I have so many defining moments. To focus on the positive, it would have to be trying out for the acting troupe first semester of my sophomore year. I’d never acted before in my life but I got the lead role in the play we were doing that semester: Tambourines to Glory. That production got canceled but I performed in some productions after that.

I think that brought me out of my shyness, now I have no problem getting up in front of people. Give me a mic and an audience and I’m in heaven ;-)

RIP King of Pop.

East Point's Own

June 26th, 2009
9:06 am

Every moment of life is a defining moment. Every single decision you make, or fail to make, shapes and defines your future in some way, big or small. Every moment counts, you can’t get back a single second, or undo a single decision. Everything matters, every second counts. Your future is determined by your past and present.

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:16 am

Leggs


We asked yesterday who would be the 3rd person to go w/our Maker. No one would have thought it would be Michael Jackson.

The saying the three is defined as 1 elderly, 1 sick, 1 sudden.

I have an admission. Around the time that Amazon Red mentioned Pinks Hot Dogs yesterday, I got a call from one of the friends with whom I visited while in LA last year. That friend works for the LA Daily News. He told me that MJ was dead. I couldn’t confirm it anywhere at the time so I didn’t post it on here. I started seeing reports right when the blog closed a litttle after 5.

It is a funny thing because this friend’s dad called Monica Kaufman back in 77 to tell her that Elvis died before it hit the public.

I told my wife last night that I really wasn’t surprised. I have never been able to picture him as a old man. He had so much on his shoulders. He really sacrificed his life for his family.

I have always used him as an example to tell parents to let their kids have a childhood, and don’t rush the kids to the the “little man” or “little lady”. Let them be a boy and a girl as long as possible.

Dan

June 26th, 2009
9:19 am

As for defining moments, I’ve had too many to recall on this forum but I’ve learned from all of them:

to live life to its fullest, never regretting anything;
be good to others today, for you may not have a chance to tomorrow;
be honest in all dealings, because deceit leaves a lasting impression;
explore options and test yourself to know what your limitations are and aren’t;

As far as relationships, those principles guide me in life and apply to relationships as well.

As an RIP to Mike (and a shameless plug for my homie) I present:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/61870471901d43ac/

you don’t have to download it, you can just listen to the tracks

Homie

June 26th, 2009
9:21 am

No thanks Dan…it probably sucks real bad.

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:25 am

As far as defining moments (as it relates to Michael), I remember watching the Motown 25 anniversary with my family. I will say his music was music that the whole family could listen to. (I love Prince, but I had a hard time listening to Erotic City with Grandma in the vicinity.)

My first dates (w/o a parent driving us) was taking my girlfriend to the OMNI (where Philips Arena is now) for the Bad Tour.

Wise Diva

June 26th, 2009
9:26 am

Wow, stay classy Stockbroker.

Guys I will be in and out today because I am not in the office. I will chime in when I can :)

kinderbabe

June 26th, 2009
9:28 am

i’m so saddened by the loss of such a great musical inspiration. mike is the greatest entertainer ever! i was a huge fan as a kid and into adulthood. i remember getting into big trouble when my family moved b/c all of my MJ posters on my bedroom walls caused the paint to come off(yes i used tape!) i had at least 3 zipper jackets and sported a curl…hard! i cried at the very thought of meeting the king of pop in person and getting an autograph. there is no other that has had the international impact he has an artist. he is loved near and far. you will forever be missed, MJ.:) we love you!

MusingLee

June 26th, 2009
9:29 am

Morning blog peeps…I’m so bombed out with this Mike J thang…I not doing ishh at work today. I’m listening to Mike all day today. Who’s gonna join me?!?!

Dan

June 26th, 2009
9:33 am

Staying up to watch that special (on a Thursday night I think) was the move, PG!

Went to school the next day tired but crunk about watching Mike and the J5 reunion!

abc

June 26th, 2009
9:33 am

Now, MJ had some great pop tunes in the 1970’s and 80’s, and his talent of that era is undeniable, but it’s 20 years since anything of note came out of him, and he was a child molester.

Will OJ’s football career be celebrated when he passes? I kinda doubt it.

http://www.ajc.com/opinion/content/opinion/luckovich/index.html?cxntlid=sldr_hm

East Point's Own

June 26th, 2009
9:36 am

I do remember the premiere of the Thriller video, I was in Miami at my great aunt’s house and everybody was gathered around the TV,eating lemons we got climbing the trees outside. Man… I miss childhood…

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 26th, 2009
9:39 am

Oh and before the day gets by me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISE DIVA!!! I know it’s not until Sunday but I wanted to take a moment to celebrate you today.

PoppaG – never heard that: the elderly, the sick and the sudden. I’ve never believed in ‘death comes in 3s’ but when they announced he was in the hospital when I got in the car yesterday I remembered when someone mentioned ‘who’s next?’ on the blog.

I must say, Anthony Hamilton put it down last night. My first time seeing him in concert and I was not disappointed. Now Musiq on the other hand…

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:39 am

abc

not today.

That was a bit classless for you. You are better than that.

I am kinda like Tazzee in that I was a fan of the music more than the man per se. However, I recognize that he tried to make music that made a difference with Black or White, Man In the Mirror, You are not alone, etc. It probably would have sold more records if he’d followed the trends more than his desire.

Mo (aka Moeisha - blogging from the beach)

June 26th, 2009
9:41 am

Morning All & TGIF!

I was sad to hear about Mj’s passing as well. I am in shock and of course I watched coverage most of the night last night. My cell started blowing up w texts around 5pm.

Defining moments: My divorce and giving birth. While i have always prided myself on handling situations well, these two events tested everything I thought I knew about myself and who I was. A lil rough but I came out on top, a whole lot stronger and with my eyes opened just that much more.

Defining Dating Moment: When I had to call of an engagement. Hurt like hell (and dude flipped out on me) but I knew that marrying then was not right.

I’ll pop in later, headed for some sun now.

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
9:41 am

@MusingLee, I will definitely join you. My daughter called me with the news (but I already knew). She was whining that she’s so glad he was born on her b-day (children).

@abc, I truly hope not!

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:42 am

Tazzee

My grandma used to say that. Al Roker said it earlier this morning. The lady at the new Jersey Mike’s Subs on Northside (that was dinner last night) also said it.

Page1908

June 26th, 2009
9:42 am

PG- I had also heard about MJ’s death before it was confirmed yesterday. My mom’s friend works for one of the well-known funeral homes and they received the call before it was confirmed.

I think I may have mentioned before that I have a lot of family in the entertainment industry. My cousin, Josie was one of the dancers in MJ’s “Remember The Time Video”. She’s the one with the long brains and big forehead lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TvWZGtuHjw

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
9:43 am

Look at this :arrow: Aaliyah died- August 25th, Lisa Left Eye -April 25th, James Brown- December 25th and Michael Jackson- June 25th.

Kym

June 26th, 2009
9:44 am

Good Morning All,

My birthday makes me reflect on my mortality more than the death of those I grew up with. Next year will be my 20 year high school reunion and I told a old classmate when were that age we thought all was possible and we could do it all. So in two weeks I will get reflective on mortality. I was stunned yesterday..and today I am annoyed. The media has played up all the bad stuff(drug abuse, anorexia, child molestation) other than a few news outlets no one is talking about his music. I try not to get to outdone when celebs died but instead look at what joy they brought to my world. In the case of the King of Pop..it was great music, great dance, and fun. I never adjusted to the scary MJ face because I always thought he was the coolest when he was living “off the Wall” that was the first album cover I had posted on my room wall. Sorry to see you go MJ but thanks for the good memories.

**WARNING–WARNING** I know it is tempting for people to put together powerpoint slides and video funeral programs..but the first person to send me one is going to get cussed the heck out. You have been warned.

Also to the Jackson family please for the love of all that is sane..do not take MJ’s body on some world wind funeral tour. Bury, Burn, Build a theme park but don’t do what the Brown family did. Thank you.

Page1908

June 26th, 2009
9:44 am

LOL brains = braids. my bad *shrugs*

Dan

June 26th, 2009
9:44 am

abc

It’s less about the person and more about the cultural inclination to “not speak ill of the dead”.

Personally, I’m of the opinion that everyone is flawed and regardless of their contribution to society (large or small) each person deserves to be judged on the contributions; as opposed to the pettiness of one’s character flaws.

Matthew Ch. 7 v. 1-5 (KJV)

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:46 am

Leggs

My wife show me a twitter posting with that. She is a twitter addict. I don’t twit, tweet, or whatever they call it.

Dan

June 26th, 2009
9:47 am

@WD Happy C-day, darling!

MusingLee

June 26th, 2009
9:48 am

You can say what you will about Mike the man. But, Mike the musician will never be outdone. He is the biggest superstar ever. No one will ever have the wide appeal to every household worldwide that he accomplished.

Kym

June 26th, 2009
9:49 am

I just recently had a defining moment in a friendship..still not sure how I am going to handle it.

Any day with my son is a defining moment..he is becoming a young man..that I am adjusting at lighting speed.

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:50 am

MTV should send the Jackson family a big sack of $100 bills. He help build them into the force that they are today.

Everyone watched the videos off of Thriller, including that long mini video for Thriller. I remember even watching the making of Thriller.

I felt a little sad for Farrah though. She even got overshadowed on her exit.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
9:52 am

Michael Jackson was truly an awesome artist of his time. His music was also a part of my childhood. And yes abc I too believe that he was a child molester, but that he is something he has to answer to before God.

I not doing ishh at work today

MusingLee my assistant called me this morning at home, at 6:15am interrupting my bonding time with my daughter to tell me that 3 people called in saying they we so distraught that they were taking the day off to grieve. Okay not one of them is related to Michael Jackson in any way other than being of the human race. I called all of three and asked one question, “are you freaking kidding me?” One of them don’t have any personal or sick days left to take this year so she got her behind in to work. One of the other I told she better tell me something that makes sense, so she said she wasn’t feeling well and needed to take a sick day. The last one…LOL

Now on topic, I have had many defining moments in my life. The very first moment that I can recall that really knocked the breath out of me and made me view life as it really is, was the death of my first husband. That day is a day I will never forget. My heart fainted when I got that call. The path that event led me to is the one that has me where I am today.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
9:54 am

Early Happy Birthday WiseDiva

Kym

June 26th, 2009
9:54 am

@PoppaG Larry King did a special to her last night. Seriously how is Larry King still alive? Everyone dead but him..he’s a witch.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
9:55 am

Good morning Beautiful People…

As I celebrate what you gave King of Pop Micheal Jackson. I am not sadden mcuh or was i when the news came across on my cell phone….Who knows if Mike didn’t, or wasnt ready to leave this world and be in a world of no hurt and pain…I truly believe in “there’s a better place” when it come to death. Not really sadden in the “natural”, just drab because he will be missed.

Actually, i really didn’t start loving music & dancing until i was given a Micheal Jackson cassette of my own. Then to follow, posters, pins and t-shirts…all to fall in love with that MJ.

Billy Jean is mine…

kinderbabe

June 26th, 2009
9:55 am

DAN thank you for that comment. his contributions far out weigh any perceived flaws. people fail to remember that he was not accused of any crime. but as we all know, you are tried and convicted by the media regardless of the outcome in legal system. it amazes me that MJ is constantly referred to as a child molester when he was acquitted of all charges….i know that i wasn’t there but the only thing i do think he was guilty of is having relationships w/children that most people found bizarre or inappropriate. that doesn’t mean that it was sexually based.

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
9:56 am

RaqI

The answer to the Farrah and Ryan question that you had is that they did not get married. According to Mrs. PG, Farrah wasn’t coherent enough during the last few weeks to do the ceremony. Legally, marriage is a contract and you need to have the ability to consent.

It will be on 20/20 tonight.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
9:56 am

Tazzee I appreciate you not crying lastnight. I’m so proud of you!

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
9:58 am

:lol: @PoppaG, I thoroughly understand. I barely do FB, so I know I won’t be twitting, tweeting or twarting. I’m on this computer all day rarely turn my on when I get home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISEDIVA. HOPE THE ENTIRE DAY WILL BE FILLED WITH WONDER AND CONTINUOUS SMILES!

@Kym, “he’s a witch.” HAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
9:58 am

Happy Birthday Wise Diva!

Kym

June 26th, 2009
9:58 am

I did not like the Thriller video..I am not a horror fan..and damn it Vincent Price’s voice on that damn record scared the hell out of me.(Still damn scared) I watched the video under duress and peer pressure.

Favorite videos Remember the Time, Bad, Man in the Mirror, Billie Jean, and all time..Smooth Criminal.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
9:59 am

Poppa I think he was confirmed dead several hours before it hit the media. From what I can tell from listening to the report yesterday is he was taken to the hospital around 12:30 in the afternoon and he was not breathing when paramedics found him at his home. I think it was a little after 5 when the media officially announced that he had died.

Dan

June 26th, 2009
9:59 am

@Kinder

The reason he was aquitted was because the DA used as their star witness a kid that had attempted to extort 4 OTHER celebrities, including Jay Leno (all testified at Mike’s trial).

I don’t judge people for their personal failings, as we’ve seen with this recent spate of politicians, if you choose to stand in judgement be prepared to accept the judgment of others.

MusingLee

June 26th, 2009
10:00 am

Raqi, every little kid grew up trying to emulate those mike j moves. It’s a little surreal. I equate it to the death of Elvis Presley for those that need a reference point. It just so happens that I relate more to Michael.

Said while standing on my desk with the fans on high, High, HIGH!!! OWWWWW

Poppa Grande

June 26th, 2009
10:01 am

Raqi

From what I can tell from listening to the report yesterday is he was taken to the hospital around 12:30 in the afternoon and he was not breathing when paramedics found him at his home. I think it was a little after 5 when the media officially announced that he had died.

Remember, 12:30 PM in Cali is 3 PM in Atlanta

Leggs (Karyn)

June 26th, 2009
10:02 am

@Raqi, WOW, ppl actually had the nerve to call in due to grief.

My first boyfriend was a dancing fool when Dancing Machine came on!

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
10:04 am

PoppaG Hope about this for and omen. The summer camp started practicing a dance routine for the parent’s day show and guess what song/video and moves they are (and started on yeasturday) rehearsing too?

Thriller…and i have NEVER seen my kid dance so well but he has that Thriller move with the hands up and walking sideways. As you know i was asking the director WHY this morning…she said it was the kid’s doing.

Cemeeli

June 26th, 2009
10:05 am

still sleepy…

Correction: How about this for an omen.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 26th, 2009
10:05 am

My defining moment came On October 1, 1991 when my mother put me on a Greyhound bus bound for Atlanta. My parents weren’t happy and unhappy parents raise unhappy children and that was definitely me. Before that bus ride to the “A” I was getting into trouble and hanging with the wrong crowd b/c I was so unhappy at the time. This was a far cry for someone who graduated in the top 10% of thier high school class and had soo much potential. At first I was angry with my mom b/c she sent me away from home but it was for my own good and she knew that one day when I was older I would understand. Later that night as I rode on the Greyhound bus headed somewhere I’d never lived, with no family here to speak of I was scared as hell and didn’t know what to think…..but when I saw that famous Atlanta skyline that has graced so many post cards of/about Atlanta I knew at that moment that I wasn’t ever going to move back home. Once I got to the school I was going to I called my mom to let her know that I’d made it safely and the very first thing I said was “Mommy I’m never leaving this city….thank you for sending me here”. There were many times after that during alot of our conversations that I would just tell her “thank you” ’cause there’s no telling where I would’ve been had I still been home.

One night my mother told me a story that I still share with other people in who are where I once was…she said “Take a picture and hold it up very close to your face…you can see it but it’s not in focus,right?….put a little distance between your face and the picture and you see that when you put some distance between yourself and THE BIG PICTURE you can see it more clearly”. She said you had to distance yourself away from home to see the bigger picture and see that YOU HAD TO LEAVE. That saved my life and to this day I still get choked up talking about it…my eyes are watering right now and the best thing is my mother happens to be in town RIGHT NOW…..GOD IS GOOD Y’ALL.

Raqi

June 26th, 2009
10:05 am

Thanks for the info Poppa.

Last night while listening to the news Mason said that he always thought Michael Jackson would commit suicide because he had fallen so far from where he used to be. And then with all his legal troubles hovering over him he said that he thought he would either just kinda disappear from the limelight or kill himself.

Considering how bad he had altered his body I felt that something would soon happen to him. I didn’t think he would die just yet, but I thought we would hear that he was really ill as the result of how he did himself.