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One size fits all

A little tip to the men: women like to feel as if she is special. Yes, we know that it can be annoying to you at times, but it is the truth. If a woman is dating a man and he doesn’t make her feel special, chances are he will lose her interest.

One of the ways we like to feel special is knowing that the man has put some real effort into getting to know her. Then doing thoughtful things that shows he, in fact, paid attention. It’s all really simple, actually. If you have some routine that you use that has worked on previous women (and by worked, I mean it got you laid), it doesn’t mean that your object of desire will like the same things.

I think some women can tell when a guy is going through the motion, using his same tired wooing techniques. Some of which are horrendous and don’t work. One size fits all does not apply to dating all the time. Mix it up, listen to her likes, and let her know that you think she is special by her special, customized treatment you give her.

Ladies, do you think single men use the one size fits all approach to dating and relationships? How can you tell when that is happening? What would you do if you noticed a guy doing this? Do you try to switch things up when you are seeing a guy?

Guys, why do some men use one size fits all? The same lines, routine, dating destinations, etc. Is it because it works so well? Perhaps it is just easier? If you meet a wonderful woman that you want to impress, do you make more efforts to make her feel special? Have you ever noticed a woman who tries to use the one size fits all approach with you? How did you know?

497 comments Add your comment

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
12:58 pm

Leggs

@PoppaG, and inspite of them STILL trying to work it out even though through different households he goes back to get some loving/attention from the person who’s the part of the source of his marriage breaking up.

I’m not saying what he did was right at all.

After reading some of the e-mails, I see that the other woman really cared for him too. After being kicked out, he was vulnerable. It is obvious that the wife was really upset. i say it time and time again. The human body hates stress. It will do whatever necessary to relieve stress if only for a temporary break.

He was one of Bill Clinton’s critics. 1999 Clips of him talking about Clinton’s affair are being played over and. I guess that he’s also feeling like a hypocrite too.

In other news

RIP – Farrah Fawcett.

wbk

June 25th, 2009
12:59 pm

In my life experience, I have seen women repulsed by good men then later after having two to three babies these ladies find them somewhat attractive. Hmmm, I believe I am onto something–chemistry changes?

Women play and then settle for what you should have taken in the first place. Men, who are charming, good looking, and physically attractive usually get the women first. The rest get left overs.

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:08 pm

On Topic

Humans, all humans, are creatures of habit. I would imagine that dating routines are followed more or less unconsciously.

My routine was being myself. Shoot, the real me (flaws and all) would come to light eventually anyway.

As far as sex being the objective, I can’t remember approaching a chick with getting in the pants in the forefront of my mind. For me, my time is priceless. I wanted to determine if said female was worth my time and energy. That came through conversation. I hate telephone conversations( & still do), but I did them. I am a in person conversation lover. I like reading facial expressions and body language. That isn’t possible on the telephone.

As for texts, I absolutely hate them. Men and women rarely speak as it is. These young men and women will have more problems communicating. It is a passive form of communication.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:11 pm

Tazzee I have learned am learning to save the nice shirts and pretty ties for just because gifts. When it comes to buying for an occasion get ‘em what they want.

One rule I like, and I learned from a former co-worker, is the whole set rule. She said when she and her husband first starting dating her gifts would be centered around completing a set of something that he already had or starting a set of something that he liked.

Like if he liked to work with his hands and had tools that were missing several pieces she would complete the set for him. Also works with someone who has a favorite author and is lacking a few of their pieces.

It could be done with music. Especially if you go out of your way to complete an oldie vinyl collection. I imagine in this age of dvd’s movies and television shows can be included.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:17 pm

PoppaGrande do you know if she and Ryan O’Neal got married before she passed? I heard tell of them planning to marry after all these years. I know they wanted to do so before she passed.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
1:18 pm

Raqi – thanks for that jewel. I was going to get him some cufflinks because he needs some (IMO) but I’m glad I asked.

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:23 pm

Raqi

I have no idea. I only know that she died because CNN sends me breaking news texts to my smartphone. They sent it to me while I was typing that particular post so acknowledged it.

EdMcMahon, Farrah Fawcett, _______________ (who will be the 3rd?)

Leggs (Karyn)

June 25th, 2009
1:24 pm

@Tazee, that’s a pet peeve w/me too. Why don’t ppl listen to their messages? You have voicemail for a reason.

@LK, like your post!

@PoppaG, I know you’re not defending him. I had to laugh this morning when they played back on his clips critizing Clinton’s actions. Yep, he’s feeling like a hypocrite. And, I know he was feeling vunerable and needed to rest his head on someone who cared for him. However, in this case as in others, if you truly want to work on your marriage then you have to take the black eye and stay your ground. Don’t go out and get another black eye. Man up, take the lumps of being horny and vunerable and do the right thing by you and your family (if this is what you want).

Leggs (Karyn)

June 25th, 2009
1:25 pm

Yes, RIP Farrah Fawcett. You were truly a delight with that megawatt smile.

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
1:27 pm

And what’s up with not listening to messages, what makes you think I want to say all that twice.

*puts a dollar in the collection plate* Thank you Tazzee!!

Kym-is avoiding an issue.

June 25th, 2009
1:28 pm

RIP Farrah Fawcett–I had her doll when I was a kid. Charlie’s Angel was a great show. And her performance in the Burning Bed…classic.

So we have moved from men and the lazy lines to adultery.. No Comment.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:31 pm

WiseDiva sprouting from a conversation I had with my husband about Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, I have a topic for you. “Would you continue to date after a rejected proposal or broken engagement?”

We were the television together when we heard that they were planning to finally get married. It is said that Ryan asked her several times and she said no. Mr. O’Neal said that she turned him down so many times he just started making it a joke when he asked after that. Mason said he would have showed her the door after the first time she said no. I said maybe not the first time but after waiting several months to a year I would go separate ways if we could not come to where I wanted to be in the relationship.

I wander how many other people continue to date the person that turned down their marriage proposal. My dad taught us growing up that you date to marry. I could see you going your separate based on how I was raised. But you know…

Melo

June 25th, 2009
1:32 pm

So we have moved from men and the lazy lines to adultery.. No Comment.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:33 pm

Helllooo….

Tazzee Mae! I need a break at somepoint today, right.

What cha’ll talking about?….i miss yall…this white noise in the office is booooring. I have worn Chrisette Michelle’ CD out…

I’ve got watermeeeelon…you want some?

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:36 pm

Cemeeli do you know where to get orange watermelon? I was telling my son about it and he thinks I am kidding. I want to find one and show him.

Where is abc? He probably knows. He knows everything.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
1:38 pm

Cemeeli you’re cracking me up. I would LOVE some watermelon. See, we’re opposite – I know all Chrisette’s songs but I gotta listen to some Anthony Hamilton so I won’t be lost at the concert tonight.

Kym I had a Farrah doll too. And I wasn’t into dolls that much. Loved Charlie’s Angels. Sad to see her go.

Raqi She probably explained her position on marriage and why she was saying no, that’s why he continued to date her. Although I wonder why she wanted to right before dying.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
1:38 pm

Where is abc? He probably knows. He knows everything.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:39 pm

@Raqi- I wouldnt continue if my proposal was turned down

Rell - anti-simp machine

June 25th, 2009
1:39 pm

good article diva…I FAIL at making women feel special…for me i have a hard time wrapping my mind around making you feel something you should anyway..lol….but i guess i must learn because its seems like every women says the same thing….

1 – you hang out too much

2 – your friends are more important

3- you always asking me to do something for you

then they follow with i dont feel special…question what should i do..live under your thumb and paint your toenails..lol

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:41 pm

Tazzee Mason said her agreeing to marry him now made him just a number on her BL. Ain’t no way. LOL

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:41 pm

Raqi – Orange or yellow meat watermelons are usually found at the fruit stands. There is one in my area Cobb near East West Connector. Other that their i’m not sure where you can find one.

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:41 pm

Leggs

We don’t know what the wife said in all this. Some women say and do some really hateful, spiteful crap when they want to do. She could have said something as mean as “you can’t see your sons on Father’s Day”. If that was the case, maybe he couldn’t be in the same area and not see them. We don’t know everything. He might just keep that stuff personal because he wants to do the right thing.

There had to be something for him to really affected him to just disappear during the father’s day weekend. I think something more than the need to bust one.

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:43 pm

@Ce- What you know about Orange/Yellow Watermelons?

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 25th, 2009
1:44 pm

Raqi – BL????

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:44 pm

@PG- I agree with your 1:41

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
1:44 pm

WiseDiva – Can we do a topic on sloppy pimpin? I really think folks are crazy in this day of instant information to think they will get away with some of this stuff, especially folks in the public eye!

And I’m sure we all have a story or two of our best laid plans blowing up in our face. :lol:

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:45 pm

paint your toenails

Rell Yep. That is so freaking hot when you do with patience and grace. Approach it like you love it and then pucker your lips and blow them dry. :wink:

Leggs (Karyn)

June 25th, 2009
1:45 pm

Ok, Ok, PoppaG, you got a point. But I did say love/attention. You can have the attention w/o sex, but I gotcha point.

Now, I’ve had yellow meat but never heard of orange meat.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:46 pm

Thanks Cemeeli.

Bucket List. Sorry Tazzee.

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:46 pm

Tazzee I’m so trying to get done…i’m working…

Anthony songs i know…

Kym-is avoiding an issue.

June 25th, 2009
1:47 pm

@Raqi I know a a few couples like Ryan and Farrah. The men have proposed and the women said..naw we are good just like this. They lived together, had children together, died leaving the other behind. They just never got married. My cousin said if it ain’t broke why fix it. So…

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
1:48 pm

Approach it like you love it and then pucker your lips and blow them dry.

:lol:

Cuz a man with puckered lips is so sessy!

Naw, I get your point, dats hot.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:48 pm

Leggs when I was younger my dad used to get the orange flesh melons. Talk about sweeeeet. Those things run circles around the regular everyday melons we see in the stores.

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:48 pm

W8 You miss me don’t cha’ shawty?

Go ‘head ‘n admit it….

For Real

June 25th, 2009
1:49 pm

PG: I read that’s exactly what SC Gov wife did on top of tell him she would ruin his career.

The Bucket List was a really cool movie. How about everyone list some things on their bucket list?

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:51 pm

Tazzee I recieved an invite to hang with Jazmine Sullivan and Ryan Leslie at the Tabernacle. WHAT? Don’t these folks know the soul children are in town!?!?! Lol

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:52 pm

@Ce- Yup I love my natives.
(suddenly feels like I am being pimped..lol)

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:52 pm

Pucker your lips, while painting my toes…Raqi that’s funny! lol

Kym-is avoiding an issue.

June 25th, 2009
1:52 pm

For Real..I can do that

Visit England/Scotland
Go camping in the Grand Canyon
Take a cross country train ride
Buy a home(working on that one)

kimmie(Sheree)

June 25th, 2009
1:53 pm

Poppa – I read on Huffington that the wife is a millionaire(family owns Skil Tools Corporation) and she is the one that launched his political career and was the puppetmaster behind the scenes. They both worked on Wall Street before they got married, though he did not care for it much. From those emails, I think he really loves Ms Argentina! I bet he is conflicted and seriously does not care about politics anymore and just wants to be with the woman he really loves. Otherwise why would you just chuck it all like that?! Me & my boss bet that he eventually resigns & leaves ole girl. I would not want to be with him if I read emails like the ones to Argentina!

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:53 pm

Kym the way I see it is if marriage is what I want and I can’t get it from “you” then I must move on. Like I said I would not leave after the first rejection but after telling you what I am looking for and giving you time to process it in your head it’s time to move on if you can’t meet me there.

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:53 pm

Raqi

“Would you continue to date after a rejected proposal or broken engagement?”

I have a couple of friends (1 female and 1 male) that are in this situation.

The crazy thing is that the female is now asking me if I think that her SO will ask again. Please Note: When he proposed, she didn’t give him an answer. She started crying and ran into the restaurant restroom and stayed there for 2hours.

When she asked me recently if I think that he would ask again. I must have looked at her as if she had three breasts or something. I was stunned and it must have shown on my face. All I told her was that only he knows if he wants to put himself out there like that again.

The couple has a child and they all live together. He provides for them all, and takes care of his child. (They had this child already when he proposed)

Her answer for her reaction to the proposal (given to me by her) was that it was about her life not being as she planned. (I asked if she had told her man that. She deflected the question) She planned to go to med school, but got pregnant. Her dude has told her to pursue her dream, and he’d support her. (I’ve witnessed him tell her numerous times) So, it seems that she doesn’t know what she wants.

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:53 pm

On my Bucket List:
Scuba Dive with Sharks out of the cage

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:53 pm

W8 – awww…aren’t you sweet?

It’s hard out here for a pimp…lol.

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
1:54 pm

The male in that situation was rejected by the female. But she actually sat him down and told him why. They were able to move on.

Tazzee - countdown to August 1 when I can watch NFLN again

June 25th, 2009
1:54 pm

Raqi – I don’t know why I didn’t get that.

For Real – I got a lot of things I want to do. Let’s see – sing the National Anthem at a Falcons Game. It was on my 40 before 40 list, but I missed the deadline for this season.

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
1:55 pm

Cee waving at Kimmie like Ceelie did in “The Color Purple” during the scence while playing wiht Neetie before Mistah (today that’s Tazzee) come and make her go back to work…..

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
1:56 pm

Bucket List-
Some good friends in an RV and just drive across the United States with no destination

Rell - anti-simp machine

June 25th, 2009
1:57 pm

@RAQI…you got jokes…lol…straight funny….but seriously i usually meet women that just want to monitor me…like your weekends should be spent with me…even if all i want to do is lounge around all day or practice making babies all day..i mean its cool for a minute but er weekend…..lol

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
1:58 pm

LOL Cemeeli not while but afterwards to dry them. :lol:

Girl have you ever had a man blow on your skin? That’s an experience to be had. After he has finished your polish he blows on them for a second then moves up your leg…

And good lawd if you are on the beach or out by the pool and it’s hot…let him suck on a piece of ice and then…O.M.G. somebody done turned on the heat this house.