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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

One size fits all

A little tip to the men: women like to feel as if she is special. Yes, we know that it can be annoying to you at times, but it is the truth. If a woman is dating a man and he doesn’t make her feel special, chances are he will lose her interest.

One of the ways we like to feel special is knowing that the man has put some real effort into getting to know her. Then doing thoughtful things that shows he, in fact, paid attention. It’s all really simple, actually. If you have some routine that you use that has worked on previous women (and by worked, I mean it got you laid), it doesn’t mean that your object of desire will like the same things.

I think some women can tell when a guy is going through the motion, using his same tired wooing techniques. Some of which are horrendous and don’t work. One size fits all does not apply to dating all the time. Mix it up, listen to her likes, and let her know that you think she is special by her special, customized treatment you give her.

Ladies, do you think single men use the one size fits all approach to dating and relationships? How can you tell when that is happening? What would you do if you noticed a guy doing this? Do you try to switch things up when you are seeing a guy?

Guys, why do some men use one size fits all? The same lines, routine, dating destinations, etc. Is it because it works so well? Perhaps it is just easier? If you meet a wonderful woman that you want to impress, do you make more efforts to make her feel special? Have you ever noticed a woman who tries to use the one size fits all approach with you? How did you know?

497 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
12:01 pm

You’d be amazed, you can state it over and over again, but some just dont get it..

W8 – I do get it though. It doesn’t surprise me. I’m a planner. Most often I know exactly what I’m doing on any given weekend days to sometimes weeks before. If I meet a guy in the midst of it, I will tell them my schedule and when I am free. I figured to just be upfront about it. But quite often I get, “you’re too busy for me,” then moment I’m not willing to change exisiting plans. Oh well.

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
12:02 pm

I state my position upfront and I prefer a chick do the same with me.

Yes For Real, for the 3rd time I know YOU state your position up front. Again, I was just giving YOU insight to as why women do not. I have already stated that I do.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

June 25th, 2009
12:02 pm

typing is crappy AGAIN

AmazonRed™ - in SC signing the anti-sloppy pimpin bill

June 25th, 2009
12:03 pm

if that’s the case, men should come right out and say they want the dun-un-da-nuns. and we know that never happens.

:lol:

M'

June 25th, 2009
12:03 pm

What is worse than the one-size-fits all approach, IMO, are the men who still want to pimp that ’70’s rap on me…seriously, I have met so many oldheads that are still saying the same thing that they were 25 to 30 years ago…lol


M’ meets dude in like 1978:

Dude: Yeah, I could get my shyte together if the Man was pimping me down all the time…and if I had a good woman who really understood me and MY needs as a MAN…a good woman who could support my goals…ya know, I am trying to stay artistically focused, so someone has to help with the finances now so I can make it happen later.

(M’ thinking…okay, he does not want to work, he does not want to pay bills, he does not want to be responsible for himself…NOT!!)

M’: Ummmm, sounds like you got some issues brewing on your burners…good luck, I hope it works out for ya’.

M’ meets dude in like 2008:

Dude: Long time no see…so what’s up with you??? You ain’t married yet?…you got a man?

M’: Yep, long time…about 30 years or so…not much new and no, I am still not married…still single.

Dude; Wow…really, I think about you all of the time…and I wish we coulda kicked it ya’ know cuz I prolly made it with a sister like you…but yeah, I could get my shyte together if the Man was pimping me down all the time…and if I had a good woman who really understood me and MY needs as a MAN…a good woman who could support my goals…ya know, I am trying to stay artistically focused, so someone has to help with the finances now so I can make it happen later.

M’ experiences a strange sense of deja vu…smiles, waves good bye and turns away to walk on.

QC (Ne-Ne)

June 25th, 2009
12:05 pm

Hey Bloggers…i’m just stopping by to speak..i need a vacation from last weekend..hope all is well with everyone….Enjoy the rest of your day bloggers…TTYL :)

http://www.blackthen.com

Dan

June 25th, 2009
12:07 pm

@Randy

It’s not a competition, it’s become one.

Win, lose, or gethefuggouttahere.

It’s a male mentality that says “I just want sex, and I’mma do what it takes to get it” and a female mentality that says “he just wants sex, and I’mma do what it takes to keep him from getting [just sex]“.

Page1908

June 25th, 2009
12:08 pm

For me, getting married is not just about some dude filling the slot of a husband. To be honest, I rarely even think about marriage, unless of course, one of my grandmother’s calls from LA to ask me “so, how’s your love life going” lol. Other than that, it’s really not on the forefront of my mind and certainly wouldn’t be on a date. So, if I don’t mention it, it’s because that’s not where I’m at, not that I am secretly yearning for it, but afraid to mention it. In addition, marriage for me is about the man as an individual. Unlike other women, there is no way I would know if i wanted to get married by going on one date.

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:08 pm

@Sassy- Yeah I dont blame another womans faults on all women…nor do I carry baggage into new relationships. Quickest way for me to get ghost is for a woman to start pushing her past issues with men on me..You get two warnings..then you get the dueces..I aint paying for another brothers short comings

For Real

June 25th, 2009
12:08 pm

“so why even date?” – I like women —- “what do you consider “dating for a while”, the second date??” – 3 dates! —- “when you say you ask for sex, exactly what do you say?” – It depends on the chick but whatever I say usually includes the word SEX. — “do you always get it?” – Ahhh that would be perfect if I got everytime wouldn’t it. No I don’t but if I was a baseball player I would be the batting champ and an All-Star!!!!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:11 pm

For Real you might want to do a little proofreading before you click the submit comment icon next time…k?

Now to respond to your post…I don’t recall saying anything was wrong with running for the hills b/c if two people don’t want the same thing then it could ultimately be a huge waste of time for both parties involved be it the MAN OR WOMAN who chooses to run. Some will run and some will not…. for them the upfront approach is cool in that regards or the other person may want that BUT just not right now…so knowledge is power….whether that knowledge makes you run for the hills or piques your interests lies soley upon the indivduals involved.

SexyCool - The inmates are running the asylum.

June 25th, 2009
12:11 pm

SOME of THE Rules

1. The Don’t Call Him First Rule.
2. The Don’t Call Him Everyday Rule.
3. The Don’t Kiss on the First Date Rule.
4. The Don’t Sex on the First Date Rule.
5. The Ninety Day Rule.
6. The He Needs to Plan the Date Rule.
7. The He Better Not Text Me Rule.
8. The He Should Wear Size 13s Rule.
9. The He Must Sex Me Good Rule.
10. The He Better Be a Good Kisser Rule.
11. The He Gotta Have A Car Rule.
12. The He Can’t Be Too Nice Rule.
13. The He Better Not Take Me Where He Took Her Rule.

(Okay, um yeah…I’m keeping 8, 9, and 10.)

lovelyliz

June 25th, 2009
12:12 pm

I knew a guy who would send out love letters via e-mail. The exact same letter with only the name being different to all the women he was dating AT THE SAME TIME

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

June 25th, 2009
12:13 pm

@Dan you are probably right. I am getting to dayum old and lazy to play those games anymore (strange, we often don’t want it to be “competition” yet we use the term “play those games” and games are usually competition).

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:14 pm

If when you go out on a date and you only want sex, do you say “i am only here because i want to have sex with you tonight”?

@Page- Yes..but you dont even need to go on a date for that, just be upfront about it if that is what you are looking for..honesty will get you far.Hell women that you have not even been out on a date with will ask for the same sometimes

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:15 pm

@SexyCool- lmao

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:15 pm

W8 I’m feeling that 12:08 brotha…that’s real talk and I feel the same way about men….just b/c the last one messed your head up, “burnt all your bread” and broke your heart doesn’t mean that the next woman you meet will do the same….

M'

June 25th, 2009
12:17 pm

@W8

I have zero tolerance for someone bringing pre-existing emotional baggage from another relationship into something with me…no thanks…and if I have stated as much and the person does not seem to make it stick and apply it…no thanks again…like you, I get the holy spirit of Casper the Ghost…and disappear…lol…IMO, I believe that some ppl do this intentionally.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:18 pm

Sexy imma keep 8,9 and 10,too but I’d like to have #11,also.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
12:19 pm

M’ Imma send you an email.

SexyCool - The inmates are running the asylum.

June 25th, 2009
12:20 pm

Sassy – That was supposed to read NICE car.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:23 pm

Sexy I understand that…I’d just like him to have something that HE’s proud to drive….”nice” is open to interpretation and that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah…lol

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:26 pm

@Sassy- You aint lying with your 12:23..When I got my chevelle..it was banged up rusty interior ripped out…but I loved it and drove it like it was cleannnnnn…people didnt see the vision..then once I got it right er’body wanted to ride..lmao…I gotta go get it ready to roll again soon..lol

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:29 pm

Yeah Q8 you know summer time wouldn’t be right if you couldn’t sport that Chevelle…all clean and stuff for errbody to see :)

Professor

June 25th, 2009
12:29 pm

As for the nice car….I am more into what is driving the him, rather than what he is driving.

Cemeeli

June 25th, 2009
12:29 pm

Tazzee may i come out for a few minutes?

…nevermind…

SexyCool - The inmates are running the asylum.

June 25th, 2009
12:29 pm

My best friend when I lived in Indianapolis used to drive a YELLOW CHEVETTE. You couldn’t tell us NOTHING. If VALET AT THE CLUB would have been the big deal then (1992) that it is now, we would have driven that rattling, smoking rusty bucket right to the front door and jumped out like it was a Benz…with five stars.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:31 pm

Oops W8 I didn’t mean to call you Q8 :oops:

Poppa Grande

June 25th, 2009
12:31 pm

EPO/Leggs

So if they were working through it why did he go back to the cookie jar this past weekend???

The wife had a waiting to exhale moment two weeks ago, and kick him out of the house. She wanted time to deal with his infidelity.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
12:31 pm

SexyCool – 3,4 and 5 are mine. Although I’ve broken 5 and I’ve been tempted to break 3 before.

Sassy – I don’t have an unlimited text plan so your example would have had me H-O-T! If a guy texts again after I don’t respond to the first one, I will call and ask him not to text me again. The problem is, if I leave a message – I might get a text back that says ‘I saw you called, what’s up?’ ARGH!!!

And what’s up with not listening to messages, what makes you think I want to say all that twice. My friends don’t listen to messages and it irritates me. Especially the ones where I say ‘Hey I just called to see how you’re doing – I’m getting ready to go to bed so don’t call me back tonight.’ An hour later my phone is ringing tombout ‘hey I saw you called, what’s up?’ ARGH!!!! OK, I feel my presha rising, let me focus on my music.

LK

June 25th, 2009
12:32 pm

Until 3.5 years ago I was a married woman and well out of the dating scene. My marriage was not the happiest but it was stable and I was secure and comfortable with that until he had an affair….
Now here I sit…3.5 years, 2 “boyfriends” and 1 old high school flame turned fiancée turned ex-fiancée, later…and I find myself Hating the Dating!
What’s the secret? Are there any good guys left out there? And if so, where the heck are you???? I refuse to lower my standards and overlook bad behavior (i.e.; yelling/cussing my teenaged children, cheating, lying, controlling/aggressive behavior, physical/emotional abuse, alcoholism/addiction) those are just things I CANNOT live with and why should I? Why should anyone settle for that?
So what gives??? Where are you good guys???? I challenge you to step-up & show yourselves! We need you! Procreation depends upon it!
P.S. please hurry!

tired of it all

June 25th, 2009
12:32 pm

It is obvious that all of you are very hung up on yourselves. Get a grip, be yourself and above all else be honest with the person you are dating. Then if it works out, great. Otherwise move on. What worked in the 60s, 70s, and 80s should still work today.

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
12:35 pm

W8 – My Sweetie has a Chevelle. He refurbed it, I don’t like riding in it because it doesn’t have seatbelts. Nor does it have a radio, but I got him one of those for Fathers Day – and I got him exactly what he asked for For Real (except I didn’t go to BrandsMart to get it…can’t stand that place)

Cemeeli – I betnot see you peeking in here again! I need to see you in all your white glory tonight.

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:36 pm

@LK- Demi is a good guy, you should meet him

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:38 pm

@Tazzee- You have a good guy..anytime you want to buy him stuff for it..i.e seatbelts hit me up I can point you in the right direction…he will be happy!!!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:43 pm

gotta go do my 4 miles…read y’all in a bit

W8 are we still meeting you at the Varsity on Sunday for the P90x dvds?……please….oh please :)

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:43 pm

@LK- I changed my mind..you had 2 boyfriends plus a finace/ex fiance in 3.5 years? Sorry stay away from my Lil homie Demi, he is to nice…You should meet Rell he will get you straight

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:44 pm

@Sassy- Yes!!

Professor

June 25th, 2009
12:44 pm

@LK I agree with you do not lower your standards…I refuse to let someone yell or cuss at me. Now hitting me is totally out!

@ Tazzee I agree your SO sounds like a good guy…I love cars though.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
12:46 pm

Tazzee that was a nice gift.

DJ Sniper

June 25th, 2009
12:47 pm

Ok, I’m looking at SexyCool’s rule list, and I wonder how many women are following rules 1, 8, and 13. Rule 1 I can kinda see where that one comes into play, but I really hate to think that a woman would dismiss a guy if he’s not a size 13 or if he took her someplace that he’s taken another woman in the past.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria...feeling more like Pandora :-)

June 25th, 2009
12:47 pm

Oh heavy W8 thank you SOOO much :)

Leggs (Karyn)

June 25th, 2009
12:47 pm

@PoppaG, and inspite of them STILL trying to work it out even though through different households he goes back to get some loving/attention from the person who’s the part of the source of his marriage breaking up. To lie about hiking in the mountains when he was in fact in Argentina goes to show you some men whose noses are wide open can’t think for the smell of puddy lingering on their nostril hairs. He couldn’t go 2 weeks w/o sex. Hell, he should have put that energy in salvaging his marriage if that’s what he really wanted.

SexyCool - The inmates are running the asylum.

June 25th, 2009
12:49 pm

Um, DJ Sniper – One phrase – tongue in cheek.

-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)

June 25th, 2009
12:50 pm

@Sassy- lol..you really want those DVDs huh

DJ Sniper

June 25th, 2009
12:52 pm

I gotcha SexyCool. I just wasn’t sure if you were being funny or not, because I’m sure there are some women who put those rules to use. lol

SexyCool - The inmates are running the asylum.

June 25th, 2009
12:54 pm

DJ Sniper – There are.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
12:54 pm

DJ when my husband saw the Jill Scott bra on the news he said that is what he calls too much of a good thing. And he looooves breasteseses. That’s how I feel about SC Rule #8. Comfort and pleasure is what makes me happy.

Raqi

June 25th, 2009
12:56 pm

SC and DJ I have heard more than a few women pining for a size 16 boot…nevermind.

Somethings I just can’t talk about with a little baby staring me in the face. :smile:

Tazzee - countdown to NFL season

June 25th, 2009
12:58 pm

W8 – I’ll definitely keep your email handy. I guess I need to find out the year of the car, the seatbelts will be a great birthday present for him.

Raqi – I had ideas of what to get him, but then I just asked him. I had been eyeing the same type of radio for my integra so now I’ll get to see his installation skills on his car first before I let him do mine ;-)

Professor – You might meet him tonight.