Uni, Bi, Tri…Come one come all I say…the more the merrier. Cmon you TGirls, give us a shout out!!

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Good Morning All,

Wisey you know I loves the controversy so this is going to be a interesting one today.

Yes on the first encounte it would be rude to ask, but before making the beast with two backs (unprotected)..it would be nice to know something of your partner(s) past sexual history, may not always happen that way. But it would be nice. I have ask this question before and suspected that someone I have been was bisexual can’t prove it. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. I never thought about if I could date a guy that was bisexual. I don’t really think I could take a guy like that seriously. I mean if we are just out for a good time maybe it won’t matter..but a serious relationship with a guy who hangs out at Bulldogs for fun and relax…hmmm nawwww.

I am not so big on any kinds of labels. I hate them and in my personal opinion what you do in your bedroom should not define who you are. We can see race..you can’t see gay or bisexual or straight. There are guys who are straight up and down but have “soft ways”..so let’s not go there.

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Morning all.

I don’t care about your sexual orientation unless you are trying to holla at me. I’ve dated a proud “metrosexual” and in hindsight, I’m still waiting for his azz to come out the closet.

I have asked men I’ve dated if they’ve ever been with a man. I don’t necessarily expect a truthful answer, but if the relationship goes to hell and it turns out he’s gay or bi, I have at least gone on record of asking the question.

I would not date a guy who has had a sexual experience with another man.

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Morning…

Okay wow!

I’ll be sitting with Mo in the Impala drinking some soda and listening to “Ridin’down Dill” ….

…roll out…

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My natural expectation is going to be that if you are expressing an interest in me, you are a heterosexual male. I will only ask you about your orientation if I spot any ‘tendencies’.

It is my opinion that men who encounter women that admit to sexual encounters with females or even bicuriosity tend to think that those females are sexually loose and easy.

Three Words Daily – No whining allowed.

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Ladies raise your hand if you have ever kissed a women….lol

fun topic thanks diva..

btw ared nice dress on saturday…

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However when the question is asked most women are just being a$$es when they ask though not because they think youre gay..

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However when the question is asked most women are just being a$$es when they ask though

DK – Wow, really? You don’t think we ask because the DL life is a very REAL thing???

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Good morning everyone!

I see nothing wrong with asking a man his sexual preference. Will I date a man that has been with another man….NOPE.

@Weezy, thanks for the chuckle so early this morning!

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ARED – Yeah I get it now because when it happened to me I was like are you serious.. Hey like I said the two dudes I saw kissing in the Majestic, I would have ever thought they were Gay. From that moment I understood why women have to ask. It pissed me off to the highest point of pisstivity though. Now I must clarify it doesnt happen often either because most of ya’ll ladies can smell what I’m cooking..

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I used to work with a lot of gay people in the theater community. As long as they kept it non-sexual with me, I was okay with it. I find gay PDA gross and disgusting, but then, I find hetero PDA at least a little off-putting too. To me, it’s along the lines of dealing with someone who liked to eat bugs. If I don’t have to watch them eat, and they don’t have bugs stuck in their teeth when they’re talking to me, then why should I care?

If a chick had had relationship(s) with other women, I’d not pursue her. Homosexuality is an aberration I don’t care to deal with at that level.

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FOX coming out with a reality show called “more to love”…featuring a big guy and plus size women…wonder why they did not go with a big guy and average to athletic shaped women…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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It seems that most ppl are thinking a long the same lines…interesting…mainly that it is not a concern if there is no interest in the the 2 ppl…sounds reasonable to me…a need to know basis sort of thing…and if you ain’t getting any, then I do not need to know…lol

@DK

I can imagine that you were taken aback by women asking that question…lol…like “WTF!!!…I as a man acting as they get”…lol…but Ared is right…with the DL so prevalent it is a necessary inquiry from most AA women today…and what ppl are learning it that the once “obvious” indications of a man’s sexual orientation…ain’t so “obvious” anymore…truly.

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From that moment I understood why women have to ask. It pissed me off to the highest point of pisstivity though

DK – Understandable.

Just know that if we’re to the point of asking those questions, the last thing we want to do is be rude for no reason or to run you away. But AIDS is the #1 killer of black women. You should respect those of us who are doing our due dilagence, cuz you know there are plenty of women who don’t even need to know your last name.

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I’m about as straight as it gets, (never been with, kissed, licked, fondled or anything else with another man) and I really don’t mind it if I get asked. I’m not afraid to ask a guy either. Clears the air immediately if we both know where it’s NOT going.

Scary part is these guys who think it’s okay, after fifteen years of marriage and three kids to all of a sudden decide they’re gay…dude, your not, you’re just disillusioned. Ihave a gay daughter, and she’s known this, without a doubt, since she was 13.

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As to the labeling of it all, we are all labeled all day everyday by every single person in our world and every one we encounter.

SexyCool – Great point. Which is why I run from relationships where the other party is like “why label it?”…but we’ve beaten that horse to death so moving on.

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SOME of my labels: confidante, tall, athletic, serious, goofy, sexy, professional, laid back, crazy, black, office manager, bytch, confident, silly, loud, quiet, mysterious, straightforward, positive, friendly, thinker, partier, supervisor, employee, customer, client, patient, wild, cool, interesting, cocky, daughter, sister, beautiful, friend, therapist, listening ear, cute, life saver, idealogical, logical, illogical, faithful, intelligent, determined, smarta$$, a$$hole….

And I could go on, truth is, your label often depends on two things – 1) The way that you are ‘marketing’ yourself and 2) The filters that are in place for the person that is doing the label.

Some labels are unavoidable. Some are untintentional. Some you cannot control. Some you can.

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I guess sometimes and my sister has some of the finest tuned gaydar in the South East United States. That being said, if we are having fun and it’s not going to be a romqatic relationship, it isn’t anyone’s business.

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DK- Grace – If a dude has kissed a dude he is gay.. There is not such thing as a Bi-sexual man..<– AMEN!! When I say this, male AND female beg to differ.. Confuses the ISH out of ME!!

Good Morning All

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ARED – She said Jedi Mind Trick.. Pull my finger..

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Morning Good People!

If I have to ask, we ain’t datin’! Bottom line, end of story. We can be wonderful friends though. In fact, partly because of my fancy male friends and partly sharp instinct, I have a VERY finely tuned ‘DAR!LOL!! But all jokes aside, I think it is some that is extremely hard to hide, especially over a length of time. And I don’t just notice the obvious stuff either. Funny, “women” never approach me. Guess their radar tells them what they need to know about me too!

M’ – Any doctor will tell you man/man contact is way more dangerous than woman/woman any day of the week. HIV is worst case scenario, they get stuff you never even hear of. It’s no joke. I try to be open-minded, but I would not get with a man that had experiences like that in the past if he was the last dude on earth.

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I have ask this question before and suspected that someone I have been was bisexual

did he juice u in any particular way for u to suspect? Curious!!

A bisexual chic is kinda of a novelty.U wanna see if shes got some advanced techniques being that shes been dealing with other females.Should be a good teacher,hand holding the guy,do this,do that, to evrybody’s delight.But i dont think any guy wants to take her for the long term coz u may end up competing for the same chics.
I ride the train everyday.You dont even have to ask.Lesbos are everywhere but the gay dudes,not so apparent.Its prudent for the chics to ask,i wld think.

Nice topic Diva!

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A man that enjoys that type of sex PERIOD is suspect to me. Not saying that ALL men that like that type sex is playing for the other team but you never know..

- YOU SLOW

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Lioness – You think like me – my man has good taste and dresses well and is clean, but metro he is not. I’m the only girly one up in that house! I’m the only one with the purse! I’m real old school about that! And I know a guy just like the one you mentioned!

Some chicks will dance with other girls on fast songs in clubs – not I! Some friends asked me why when we were out a few years ago. I told them I don’t dance with women. They told me I was old-school, I said “so be it” and I wear the label proudly!

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Lioness from one AA woman to another..please, please don’t think that the writing is that plain on the wall. I’m telling you what I KNOW not what I THINK in that regards b/c of what I’ve seen and continue to see. I still have two gay friends who ’til this day can/will go and get a man who’d one might think is straigt but may not be b/c my gay friends don’t like effeminate men they like ‘em rough and rugged like some of us do BELEIVE ME. It’s that line of thinking and that train of thought that has US ONE OF THE LARGEST GROUPS OF NEWLY DIAGNOSED AIDS CASES.

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Kimmie- Yes ma’am! All that dancing with your homegirl mess is just that, MESS! Grow up & be a lady!

My man is exact way! A MAN.. I knew this dude that would take 45 minutes every time he took a shower.. I was like, What the heck are you washing?? He only used Carol’s Daughter products etc.. I was like, I feel sorry for the women you deal with dude!!

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Sassy- I feel you but REALLY, what dude you think is going to HONESTLY tell you that they have been with men if they are trying to get with you??

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LOL @ Rell and Lioness *ctfu*

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What up Blgo Fam!

First thing first, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BI-SEXUAL MAN!!!

It’s a sad day that the question has to be asked of MEN. I have NOOO respect for men that choose to be gay and then try and hide it by getting involved with women. Make your choice and live with it!!!

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blah, is there some type of behavior that we should look for question that we woman should be asking to tell?

Because we can ask a DL man straight up, but it’s not like we will get a truthful answer.

We can get tested together and be clean, but it doesn’t mean he won’t go out and get infected while he is with us.

I just don’t know what more we can do without being distrustful throughout the entire relationship, and that’s just no way to live.

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And women, claim ownership of your sex lives! – word

@page…ctfu…really…wow

@peanut gallery…i should have introduce my self on saturday…wonder if you would have had the same fire in person…doubt it !!!!

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Lioness it almost seems as though you either misunderstood what I posted or you may have missed the point. I posted to your 10:14 about it being written on the wall plain as day ’cause it isn’t. Let’s not throw a blanketed status quo statement about men lying b/c they ALL don’t do that(per blah’s 10:24). I simply stated that you can’t always tell and it’s obvious that some do lie,hence the AIDS epidemic disproportionately affecting AA women…that was my point. I understand you but Do you understand me now?….cool beans.

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EWWW EWWW EWWWWW

I honestly don’t know how I would react if I were asked if I were gay or on the DL. I used to not mind if a woman was a lesbian etc, but now If a woman tells me that she likes both why should I bother with her..I want a woman who likes men…umm me! I don’t know what a lesbian does for another woman so obviously I would never meet that need.

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Rell- How can you LIKE something & then not be fond of it?? That reads slow TO ME..
Pls don’t start thinking that everything is about YOU today cause I am DEFINITELY not typing anything to you!!!!

Also, I said TO ME!!! Dude You & I have NO interest in each other so why does it matter what I think? It was OBVIOUS what I was referring to! I am not asking any of my male friends about their sexual encounters.. Much better convos to be had..

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Good Morning All:

I have asked the question before because this day and time you just don’t know, and I have had (I think maybe two or three guys ask me) the question before as well (like out of the blue). Well one guy actually told me he saw women looking at me and we were dining in Atlantic Station and when a group of ladies left they actually stopped by the table and paid me a compliment…after that he said he just wanted to know…

@Sassy I know remember Loretta’s and I had a male tell me the same thing about men giving better head.

@Lioness off topic…I really need to buy some yogurt…I am hungry now! As for the back door I agree with you on that one…if that is all a guy wants…well I think he is…never mind.

@ Mo I was in the Midwest (business trip) on yesterday and I heard you alredy got colorin books at hom whatcha gon do wit dem? Long story short Zone 3 was in Chicago I was LMAO.

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@WD

I’m just saying. We’ve all known the “twan” of the orientation that is overtly gay. Then there are the dudes that are “off” in some way.

I don’t hold it as an immutable fact, but if I get a strange feeling or vibe from someone (male/female), I walk away. It’s not worth the hassle to find out later what your gut/spirit/body/soul was telling you initially.

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I wouldn’t say never on there being bi-sexual men. I’ve heard of men who have slept with women, but also sleep with men. It’s concievable that there are men that enjoy sleeping with both sexes. I’m sure there are bi-sexual men. Not everyone is so into labels and what not.

I really don’t care too much about what a person has done in the past. If I am with them now, then what’s the difference. That doesn’t mean I don’t protect myself. Btw, if you think asking someone if they’ve ever had a gay/lesbian experience before having unprotected sex with them is a “sound” strategy, then someone needs to have remedial health classes. Also, call me simple, as a hetrosexual man, but I don’t think a girl is going to give me her number and go out on dates with me if she’s a lesbian ie: not interested. No one is really that hard up for a free meal. You can just tell when people have sexual chemistry and it’s beyond friendship.

It’s kinda like asking a woman her “number”. Who cares!! She may raise her number to seem more experienced because she’s concerned about how experienced you are. On the other hand, she may lower it because she doesn’t want to seem loose. Dumb double standard, but we all know it exists. I’ve been with women who have been bi-curious. It didn’t matter to me. So, I really don’t see why should it matter to a woman unless the man is sneaking around and being dishonest in the present.

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I’m with DK, no such thing as a bisexual dude…. If lips or balls touch, you’ve crossed a line and you ain’t comin back. Your doors to MLB HeadQuarters are closed.
…….. now as far as the ladies, I’m down for dating a girl that can enjoy another girl as much as me…. but she betta like me more!

Who brought breakfast today???

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blah, thank you for your response. That’s pretty much how I proceed anyway.

But there is a “pollyanna” side to me, which is why I have half a mind to hire a PI before the wedding just to be sure.

I’m kidding on the PI…kind of.

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@blah

That was a profound statement. It bears repeating:

….proceed in a search for love knowing that the world is not out to hurt you, That doesn’t mean hurt will not come, either in heterosexual heartbreak or homosexual deceit. But only an individual can find her or his proper balance between vulnerability and protection.

Between vulnerability and protection…..wow!

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Professor- Go to Publix & get the Fat Free Stoneyfield Plain Yogurt.. About to eat mine Now! Where in flying Heack have you been lady

Melo- My man is not so I could a flying pluck if YOU are disappointed

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Terry McMillan(sp?) & Star Jones puzzled the CRAP out of me!!

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We are definitely going off the tracks today..

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I do just about any female that doesn’t smell bad.

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SASSY…I am all for hanging at a gay club here to see and remember faces so if they try to approach me pretending to be straight they will be put on blast. I had gay/lesbian friends back home and I’d go to the clubs with them and you’d be amazed at who was flip switchin’…backdoor batting…fudge packing, etc.

So since I moved to ATL and see the amount of homosexuality that is being kept secret…it scares me. I do nto have a problem if you are gay. My problem are the bi-sexual ones who go any way the wind blows. Choose your poison and stick to it. Double dippin’ is disgusting. I am very up front so I will ask a guy ina heartbeat, ” are gay, bi, tri…have you had an sexual encounter with a man? That includes giving, receiving, batting, catching with anybody born male…even if they looked female at the time?” That way…I cover all my angles. You’d be amazed who thinks that because thear just receiving brain from a dude they are not gay. Or those who think because their d00kie chute remains untouched but they are the pole in the hole to another dude…they are not gay. UGH…give me a break…you are GAY! Admit it! I have had the ex who kept trying to get me to do a 3some. He got cursed out all the time. As so perfectly put by MO….I’m not cat burglar! Then I had one that asked me about anal….oh he was dismissed effective immediately. Any guy trying to do me in the culo instead of the proper spot is suspect to me. I will tell him…let me stick something up your butt and you tell me how it feels. Last time I checked mine is built just like yours…for exit only. And I you think you will not like it…why the hellz do you think I would? Wat di rass….battybuoy!

ARED…”We can get tested together and be clean, but it doesn’t mean he won’t go out and get infected while he is with us”…I say this all the time. It’s creepy!

LIONESS..I dance in the circle with my girls because I actually care to dance at a club….not have some dude I do not know walk up behind me and get his free rocks off by grinding on my pretty brown round! If you want to dance..then do it. Otherwise..step back and leave it to the pro’s!

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Lioness – He was the only man I have ever cussed out in my life. And I cussed him out like a sailor!LOL!!

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i reaaly really want to meet u coz u seem nice tho!

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Kimmie- NO!!! **clutching my pearls w/ mouth WIDE OPEN**

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Melo- LAWD!! This heat is really doing a number on you!!

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I’m not even going to go there on a spiritual level…get your mind right…..

I really have nothing constructive to say today that would not be offensive..wow..this is a first

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oh……………. and MLB is Man Law Book

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@Page
morning girl! it means MEN LAW BOARD. i could be wrong though.

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Man Law Book…ok

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I’m like Smoke D on UGK CD “I see it and I dont see it” I dont see what the big deal is.. Do you.. If youre Gay theres no need for a parade just be gay but dont lie and decieve people when you know you like what you like. I dont have a problem with Gay dudes or Gay chicks just stay in your lane.

I do know one thing for you Gay women dont be trying to be slick and holla at my chick on the low because I’m up on it.. Dont come sit by us at the bar and strike up a conversation and be overly friendly with my Babe cause its disrespectful.. Pay your little comment and keep it moving.

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@Lioness I am going grocery shopping today. I might even cook this afternoon if I can think of something quick and easy to make…Monday and Tuesday I was in Chicago on business and Friday I was really busy and I don’t think I had time to post. Okay you can post on my behalf today…LOL you are so right with Star Jones and Terry McMillan…

@ Sassy it was an eye opening experience.

Also I will say this…I think it is always scary and awkward when a grown man acts like he has never been with a woman before and continues to ask for some. It makes me think he is trying to give me something without a cure.

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^5 WD @ 11:05. I personally think it’s gross.

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@Blat

Congrats on the marriage, and kid(s).

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@SNIPER, how you doin’?
personally, i would never ask you if you did men, women, both. if i just met you and we vibin’ big time, why would i ruin our chemistry by asking you a lame question like that?

@PAGE
see, i was wrong. lol. i believe the founder was TRUTH. and again, i could be wrong.

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DK- I actually had 3 women do that to me when I was out with my homegirl one night. Those chicks thought we were down with the rainbow & had the NERVE to ask us back to their apt. & said if it got too late that they had a spare room.. I was like WTH?? #1 I don’t go to strangers houses & #2 I don’t sleep in the same bed with women.. Don’t care if it is my homegirl or NOT!! I’ll sleep in the same bed with my mom & that is about it but it will HAVE to be a King bed.

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…and Melo doesn’t have a filter.

The thing about down-low is that it’s down-low, they won’t tell you even if you ask them outright.

abc If your intuition is tuggin’ at you. Scat!

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What’s up Beautiful? Yea, I can get with what you just said. Sometimes the chemistry doesn’t need to be ruined, but at the same time, I’ve just never been bothered if a woman was to ask me that. It’s all good though. How u been?

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I think it is always scary and awkward when a grown man acts like he has never been with a woman before and continues to ask for some. It makes me think he is trying to give me something without a cure.

Professor hmmmm….You know this is real talk.

& What does any other city doing with a Zone 3? That’s funny.

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LOL Dang, WD, you shole is old lmao. Congrats girl:)

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Thanks for the warm weclome, Wise Diva

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Um no, Melo, the way you talk is gross.

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And here’s another one

http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/node/8759

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if i just met you and we vibin’ big time, why would i ruin our chemistry by asking you a lame question like that?

ok,i’ll say smething to u tday, Angie:
thirst or a dry patch has smething to do with ur philosophy above!

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LOL WD! You might not be able to hang on for another 4 years lol, but then again, I am sure you have seen some real characters on here lol.

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Um no, Melo, the way you talk is gross

i know,sme chics dont like a guy to say too much, but just touch them right and do it.
If ur boy wanted to sexx u up, how does he approch the subject.

Smebody on the blog actually likes u Page and ur answer might actually benefit both of u!

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No DK didn’t just bring back Mr. Wrestling #2! LMAO!!

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Melo, lol omg.

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W8 Auight. auight. I’m going to sit back in the ‘Pala and listen.

Kimmie I need the lemonade for my book club meeting, please. I’m hosting the next on and I want my virgin drinks to be delish. I have this on lemonade i only find in TJMaxx that i spruce up. But…you know my “cater head” is on now that i’m going bbq style.

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LOL W8 cuz it’s cute that’s why.

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DK- Yall must have been bored!

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W8 Stay in your domain, man…stay home.

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@SNIPER
i picture some men getting irritated, upset and questioning me on why i asked. the whole thing will go down hill from there.

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Sister Cee – When is your meeting? Gimme your email address. Keep in mind I don’t have exact measurements, but I know you can handle it, being a cook and all yourself!

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Yes, I ask men that I meet. People we live in DL Capital!!! If they say yes to prior experiences with dudes…then I keep it moving. I will NOT be competing with another guy in ny relationship.

Its all good to not want labels, but if you DL or bi/try…admit it!

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@M
i have a wonderful gay-dar sensor that hasn’t failed me yet.

@WISE
gotcha!

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My kimmie Sister Leggs’ is our pawn. ‘told you yesturday. She cool. We all cooks.

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Wise How long have you been m.i.a resident/moderator?

1st King: Hey did you hear about the new child?

2nd King: Child? That ain’t my child!

3rd King: Noooo 2nd King not that child. The child that was born in Bethlehem.

2nd King: Ohhhhhh okay no I haven’t heard about that one. I just wanted to let yall know that child wasn’t mines. You know how dem harlots lie.

Wise: Heyyyyy okay now kings, don’t start with the woman bashing. A new baby in Bethlehem huh?

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Ce – Email me – cscfromajc@yahoo.com

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If they aren’t having sex with you & yours, it’s really not any of your business.

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@Page1908
i live in gay/dl city! smh. they’re everywhere.

but there’s nothing wrong wit that. lol.

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Man…the stuff you hear on here makes me never want to have sex again!

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@Page

The ATL has always had one of the best kept secrets of a gay underground…it is where Little Richard started performing professionally…and the current trend of DL behavior just melded into to that pre-existing culture, so it make the ATL one of the most prevalently known, and hence visited, areas for DL encounters…several cluster STD patterns were traced to sexual activity in the ATL DL culture…from states like NC, SC and TN.

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Angie, exactly. They are everywhere, which is my point. I think people always seems to say Atlanta, because Atlanta is usually in the media more often and when that dude wrote the book on DL and went on Oprah ever since then, it’s been said that Atlanta. From what I have seen and heard DC beats Atlanta by a long shot, but because DC is hardley ever mentioned, people don’t know. Ughhh.

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i have a wonderful gay-dar sensor that hasn’t failed me yet.

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this chick has only been with 2 dudes in her entire life & she is 40

Cam,they are both suspect!
A chic that is Jehova’s Witness for sho and just got divorced and been with only 2 dudes entire lyfe thus far cannot be like that in 3 months.

These are 2 hoes who just met and like each other.

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just to make it clear, SWINGING isn’t a gay thing.

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ask them if they prayed first and did God tell them to put their troubles off on you – W8 – CHUCH!

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@Beautifu
One Question

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Kimmie – Email me – cscfromajc@yahoo.com

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lovelyliz,u bi??

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Cotton candy, sweet and low, let me see that tootsie roll.
Come on, tootsie roll, just make that tootsie roll here we go, tootsie roll. Just make that tootsie roll….

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@Page- It has been known that Atlanta is the DL capitol and that has been done by studies in the Gay community..you can not just base it off of reported diseases or what have you. Hence the term Down Low it’s secretive so I am sure its not just public info that you can get from a census book or google. Why are you getting all defensive about DL men? Do you have the usual suspects in your life? lol

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Page, i think that statement is more of a euphamism.
A is proly more of the gay capital of the south.
When i was in the shuttle biz, i used to ferry gays coming in here for events and coming from such cities as Charlotte NC,Orlando fl,Houston Tx etc.
I think in the south,the A has gay/lesbo on lock!

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A lot of the people who think they know so much about Atlanta’s gay culture, or think they have impeccable gaydar obviously need to do more studying. Yes, Atlanta has a thriving gay culture, particularly a thriving black gay culture, but the vast majority of these men are not on the DL, they are not interested in women, and they are not participating in any charade.

The men you see outside of Bulldogs, the men you see inside Django, no matter how “straight” or masculine or rough they look, the vast majority of those men have not been with, or even expressed interest in a woman since puberty, if even then. Sure, Atlanta has it’s share of DL men; but Atlanta is not a DL city. Atlanta is a proud gay mecca.

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There should be a term for DL women..or is that the term DL women

And aint now way you are born gay

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It doesn’t reallly matter where the capital is. There are too damn many of em everywhere.

I wish there wasn’t such a stigma against gay black men in this country where they feel they have to keep it on the DL in the first place.

I am attending a wedding in the fall of a good friend from college. He has never admitted to being gay, but he’s been caught several times in some questionable situation. Knowing his feelings on homosexuality, I can tell that he never wants to live life as a gay man in America.

He’s found a woman who is looking the other way and they will wed.

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I agree with Blah. To ME, being gay and being DL are 2 different things. They are not one in the same. If Atlanta is a proub gay mecca, so what. No one says San Francisco is the white gay city, do they? I could agree with Atlanta being a gay city, but to say it’s a DL city, ummm nope.

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I love djangos…they have the best pineapple (and bubble gum!) mojitos. I didn’t know that’s where the fun boys went.

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LOL @ fun boys.

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Somehow pineapples and mojitos in the same sentence…

hmmmm maybe it that “Pineapple Lifestyle”….

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Erm, I’m sure I just overlooked it in all the posts, but what does “DL” mean?

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Beautiful, you are so correct on swinging not being a gay thing. I’ll go ahead and put it out there: I’ve been to several swinger parties/club, and there has never been any man on man love going on. Anybody engaging in that would get booted out with the quickness. Now girl on girl love is allowed and encouraged. lol

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@Blah

Truly beg to differ…gay men who have no deisre to deal with women are straight forward with that…and yes, there are many DL men who frequent these scenes…and this I also know from the gay men who are involved with them…I have so many gay male acquaintances who just love to talk about the married men they hook up with…and they also like to point them out in these settings too…so, yeah right…blah.blah.blah.

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i wish i was bi. everytime i see a lesbo couple, they seem so happy. i’m guessing because life is more simple for them. how great is that to be with a female who knows what you’re talkin’ bout and feeling.

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Ared- I guess it is your turn now.. Fun Boys

W8- I agree! That is why she is ONLY on my Yahoo messenger.. also, I see that you can’t hold back your feelings about the suject anymore.. @ Fags…

Melo- I thought she was a freak too to be willing.. @ ATL having the lesbo/gay thing on LOCK!!

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Beautiful – I have seen Lesbo women become more Jealous than men. I have seen a Butch chick knock her girlfriend out because she wanted to go and be with a man again. Be careful what you ask for.

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The Rainbow folks I have encountered strive on trying to turn a person OUT! Female & Male rainbows..

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OMG DK, that’s horrible. Domestic violence is prevalent in same sex couples.

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Corysta is your guy top or bottom or is he a spooner

Grace,plz school me on spooners and all??

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i wish i was bi.

And it’s not often simple for gay people in America.

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Angie- REALLY? I’ve never heard anyone say that before..

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Be careful Lioness you might offend someone with the term “Rainbow Folks”

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Beautiful don’t get it twisted. Lesbo have their problems too. My girlfriend have just as much drama with her relationships/dating as I have had with mine.

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i wish i was bi…i’m guessing because life is more simple for them. how great is that to be with a female who knows what you’re talkin’ bout and feeling

that qualifies u to be bi-curious.
Try it,u might like it but understand that u perpertusting debauchery and heathenism!!
I wld rather sin, phlucking str8!
Just me.

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Are we still talking Straight GLBT? Mytwo Theory# 4080. “Every gay man kinda wants to be a Black woman.” One time this guy (a friend of a friend who was way outta the closet) was being flirty. I was like you’re not serious so stop practicing on me. After like 5 mins of claiming to only be there for “networking purposes” he broke down & was like well can I study you and your friend, you girls are divalicious! hahaaaa But what was said was the pics of the wife & 2kids in Alabama he showed us.

I’m real okay- no, better than okay- with folk being who they really are. So if/when I ask it’s in a very humane way and most ppl can easily divine that you can tell .02 anything & it probably won’t faze me. I’d expect for a dude to be taken aback, MAYBE slightly outraged, but would be irked by a homophobic response.

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@Blah

You do not read very well nor comprehend…I never said that the gay culture was secretive arse…and I also stated that I have been involved with male friends in the gay culture for 31 years…so I am very familiar with it…thank you queen of tude…what I stated was that there is no guaranteed way of knowing who is or is not gay by appearance or behaviors…what I have stated is that there is a strong association of ATL with a prevalent DL scene b/c of the long held gay underground culture hear and associated STD clusters with that activity here…both facts…and btw, the problem for me is not whether or not a man is gay…it is the men who are not honest and still play like the heteroinguisehomosexual…that is the deception I abhor.

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@INFAMOUS
if i were to visit the swingers club, i would just be there to watch. lol. and if i were bi, my chick would be a beyonce’ type. butches wouldn’t be my type. and i’m not really wanting to experience it. i don’t desire to be with a woman like that. i’ll stick with dizzle, thanks.

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Great topic…bad I am in a rental car with my mom and her two grand-kids….we’re heading to a family reunion…to spend quality time with family members…I actually like

blatino…buck them down for me, LOL

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Everybody I have an announcement..

I’m a Lesbian. There I feel so much better. Whew!

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smdh

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@Beautiful, a lot of lesbian women will fight you like a dude. They are a volatile group of women.

I literally laughed out loud at you W8…that was funny and yeah, we did it…too funny!

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I like to ask but that sometimes in iteself can be risky. As a lesbian and with so many bisexual women these days, it’s an important question to ask. Some people are just flirty and/or just down right charming so it’s good to ask. I don’t ask in the workplace though – that’s where it gets risky. The other risk is that there is still a stigma attached to Lesbianism and I think some women will say they are bisexual just to keep their options open. The ones that really get me are the married women with “but my husband knows and is cool with it.” Different strokes for different folks I guess.

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Does it taste like chicken?……..

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Beautiful, I know the place you’re talking about. I haven’t been in a while, and from what I hear, the new management ain’t too friendly. Yea, you definitely won’t see two dudes getting down in that spot at all.

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Tazzee – I do think we here in America are very secretive when it comes to sex and sexuality. I should be able to say I like having sex on my front porch late at night without being labeled a freak. At least I wait for the children to go to bed. Dang!

Huh??? What’d I say to warrant that comment?

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Demi Former Proud Lesbian? Does that mean you’re no longer PROUD? or no longer a LESBIAN?

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Taz – Maybe I got you mixed up with someone else. Or maybe I just wanted to proclaim my love of front porch action..

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M…Again, the shady gay men you associate with may engage in the behavior you abhor, but the point i was making is that the vast majority of gay men in Atlanta are in no way trying to get with a woman sexually. Just because a couple of your friends are messy doesn’t mean all, or even most, of gay Atlanta is.

I can guarantee you that when you were in Django, one or two men might’ve been concerned about you recognizing them from a straight setting, but the hundreds and hundreds of other gay men who were there probably didn’t recognize your existence — that’s how unconcerened they are with women, or with trying to maintain a front.

@Amazing Red — Stay encouraged! Django only host gay (aka “fun”) parties on Sunday night so most other nights it’s frequented by heterosexual men and women.

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Or maybe it tastes like bologna….

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@Sassy–LMAO are you asking the men or women if it tastes like chicken

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Django only host gay (aka “fun”) parties on Sunday night so most other nights it’s frequented by heterosexual men and women

blah, thanks for the 411. I have only been there on the oocaisonal Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

I would go on a Sunday. I don’t have a problem with gays, it’s just that the times I’ve been to django’s I’ve been hit on. So I was all confused.

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AmRed I couldn’t help it…it was like a reflex or something….I towwy….I won’t do it again

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@Kimmie ~ Lemonade:

6 lemons
1 cup white sugar
6 cups cold water

DIRECTIONS
Juice the lemons to make 1 cup of juice. To make your labor easier, FIRMLY roll the lemons between your hand and counter top before cutting in half and juicing.
In a gallon pitcher combine 1 cup lemon juice, 1 cup sugar, and 6 cups cold water. Stir. Adjust water to taste. Chill and serve over ice.

Classic recipe, can’t go wrong!

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lol@ yall talking about Trapeze…lmao…

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Blah- Why do you think most men that like both are so secrective??

M- I forgot to give you a for your 12:16 comment

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Mine doesn’t taste like chicken AT ALL!!

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W8 haven’t thought about it from that angle but I guess either could answer….so which is it heavy W8.

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@Sassy- I have never tasted one that tasted like chicken

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Lioness…how do you know what…LOL

I am out y’all!!!!

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Lame People EVERYONE

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This North Korea thing is unsettling

SCool,my wang just went cold on that news announcement.

Why wear your sexuality on your sleeve?
i think it s a good thing.Lesbo-guys(is that what they called),really hate it if u holla at them thinking they regular.They mugg u.
So its better if they got some kinda of label to say,”sorry to guys,i dont take stick!”

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@ARed ~ Sassy – Okay. You’re on probation then….but I saw the bologna comment too you rascal!!! That was comical!

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Leggs – I love the word rascal. It’s a good to slip it in when flirting with a new guy. He’ll appreciate it’s use and it’s a good way to break the ice and get a laugh.

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I am homophobic, ew ew ew especially to Gay black men. I just cant stand to see a black man acting so girly, aggrrrrr

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Leggs – The Firmly roll the lemons comment was sexy for some resaon. I dont know, someone standing in the kitchen rolling lemons with a apron and heels on would probably get my goat..

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Tmac- Don’t be scurred casue most likely they don’t want you either..

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I am sure somebody here proobly seen that guy but I took my uncle from Africa to Westin plaza to have dinner at the sky bar with his wife and this young skinny gay kid was at the receptionist desk. It was so annoying the way he was acting and my poor uncle asked him with harrrrrd african accent, if he is a boy or a girl. hahaha. grabbed him and head to the elevetor with out expecting an answer from that kid.

I dont get it, wanting to have sexual desire with same sex is one thing but why act so girly….ewww it was gross

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Spoiled Lioness…

Thank Godness!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dan please don’t get all Wild Kingdom up in this piece no one said a damn thang about other animals in nature. And USA Today is about as much a news source as the freaking funny pages. Please. You have bisexuals saying they don’t know what or who the sam hill they like..those who say they dont what sex they would like to be..and others saying they will try anyting once..twice if it feels good and three times for good measure.

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I am going to NEED all of the men on here to STOP using “EWWWWWW” It reads so girly..

*weezing*

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Beautiful – It cheaper as a couple.. You get a membership for three months.. So a dude canget a girlfriend of his to sign up with him and she’ll never go but it saves him dough..

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Hello everyone

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Aw…Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo split. This is a teeny bopper headline, but I liked them together.

Bad week for relationships…

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Also, why in the world is it so all fired important for me as a hetrosexual to accept someone who is gay? If you don’t wear it or say it how will I know and why in sam hill should I care? Not to go political but gay rights is a touchy subject with me. I know gay people but I don’t love them cause they are damn gay..I love them because they are great people. This whole thing smells alot like ..the way hippie white folks do..I have plenty of black friends. *wink* Whateva.

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Ared- I thought they have BEEN finished since last year…

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shyyyt…i dumped a hot girl ’cause she is too friendly with gays and has so many of them as a friend. She is one of those “human right” types….

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@Blah

No doubt that gay men are not trying to get with any women…lol…that is why I like hanging out socially with my gay male friends…pure social interaction, cocktailing, convos on many subjects…and no concern for sexual engagement…makes for a perfect social butterfly advent…some of my best.

I am specifically addressing those men who do not come forth right with their sexual duality…and there are many still fronting the straight role b/c of their fears of being alienated or ostracized from a certain perception of a societal norm…like there is this one dude, a brother…big, huge mammoth of a man…he hangs out at Tripp’s…hmmmm, he has tried to hit on me a couple of times…but my inclination is that if he is at Tripp’s it ain’t b/c the drinks are cheap…lol…now, when ask he claimed to not be into men…uh-huh…I’ll beg to differ…Tripp’s is not a straight man’s scene…so I think he is bi and not open about it.

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@Kym- I love you for your 12:50

@Lioness- We dont say anything about the some of yall women here who carry on like dudes…lmao..ewwwww@women who act like dudes..lol

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ARED…”He’s found a woman who is looking the other way and they will wed.” Oh that is one desperate a$$ nasty chick for knowingly laying with a man who is a$$hole surfing with men. EWWW!

CORYSTA…”I’m a chick and I’ve been dating a guy since last year who’s bi. He’s what matters to me not his sexual orientation.” Que crickets!…..WTF…ewwwwww!!! I hope you don’t give brain to that dirty d!ck! I think I just lost my appetite. barf! My Lord she is tasting the rainbow…SKITTLES!

W8….I am tolerate because I have an auntie who is gay. And though I may not agree with the lifestyle I still love her. My friends that are gay..they treat me nice…and always have my back. Again…they know I do not like what they do. But it doesn’t hurt me…and they not make moves on me. Come to think of it…I guess I was the “Hag” because they were always hanging with my crazy butt! Friends with gay/lesbian fine…but no romance!

Oh and what do you know about Trapeze and 2 Risque? FREAK!

DOS CENTAVOS…”“Every gay man kinda wants to be a Black woman” The flambouyant ones…of course! Isn’t it funny!

INFAMOUS….I like front porch/balcony sex!

BEAUTIFUL…I have been propositioned by couples for a 3some so many time. I wonder what that is all about. Shocks me each time that somebody just asks me that! Once it was over breakfast…dang near choked on my egg whites. Granted…it was at Hedo!

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Beautiful, yes it is a nice looking club. The front part has a bar(where you bring your own alcohol), tables, chairs, and a dance floor with a pole in the middle. Once you get ready to go to the back, you cannot wear street clothes. They have lockers for you to put your clothes in, and you can either wrap yourself up in a towel that they give you or you can bring something from home. When you go to the back, there are private rooms where you can close the door, and there are open rooms where you can do your thing in full view of everybody. There are also some couches and chairs where some people chill and some people get down. Then there’s another room in the back that is designed to look like a resort. There’s a heated pool in the floor, lounge chairs, three jacuzzis against the wall, and a couple of canopy beds with privacy curtains. As you can probably guess, I do have a membership there. lol

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@Blah

About my knowledge you are dead wrong…I still have some very strong and vital ties with the community and many of the young ppl in it…especially when it comes to being comfortable with the who of your being…I do not think there is a stigma in being homosexual…and although it is easier today for many ppl to openly acknowledge being gay…some ppl still have problems with the stigma of being openly gay…society is not as evolved in being able to embrace the community as the community itself has evolved…imagine that…and you can not change the fact that many men still hide their sexual duality…women are less stigmatized fro being bisexual involved…not so for most men…just the way it is…so many still hide behind a facade of straight acting and living…period.

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Grace – I know the answer (and it’s not a spooner), but what difference does it make for the purposes of this blog whether he was top, bottom, or a switch?

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Do I hate vagina? I absolutely do not hate it Sexually, I am disinterested in it.

blah – I am easil amused so this made me holler!

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to the INFAMOUS DK – you are absolutely correct!!!! LOL ROTFL Since a straight or bi person can’t say what it’s like being gay, they should probably not comment unless they’ve had extensive supportive conversation with friends and/or family members. Those that do so (condemn gayness) are not being objective and the lack of objectivity leads to ignorance.

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I have gay cousins male and female..I still think the same way

Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”

Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them”

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Why do women want to call a married man a dog for flirting with them, and proceed to CONTINUE the flirting???

Flirting is fun, but if a married man initiates it, he’s scum.

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Melo: There is no male or female version in a gay male relationship

Blah,that is interesting.Is that the same with lesbians that they are no gender roles?
Whilst observing gays and lesbians, i have tended to see some as being more masculine and the others as feminine.I see that on the train,a chic dressed as a guy and a guy acting feminine.I took that to mean the lady is the one who has phaging pants,chains on his pants and his pants hanging low means hes the guy version in the lesbo relationship.School me on that!
I was on the train last week and met this lesbo cpple that looked exactly like mr and mrs.The “guy”,in typical male character was sitting there,acting uninterested whilst the female partner was yapping on and on about stuff.Him just nodding and silent,like i wld if my Qiueen was there with me.I actually told Queen about that scenario when i got home that evening.
Is my observation skeewed then Blah.
I would understand what u expalin if we are talking of bi-sexuals in females(no gender roles,that is) but for gays and lesbians,thats kinda weird tho,but i be gald to hear ur clarification on that.

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uh ohh SexyCool has started lyrical warfare…

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ARed….
I agree, but yet if they think he’s scum then leave it alone.

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@Cafe

Most of the ppl whom I have asked about their earliest recollection that they were attracted to the same sex told me that they knew very early on…age 5, age 8, age 10, etc…my empirical based conclusion was that ppl are born attracted to: the opposite sex, the same sex or both…period…and why is not even an issue…it just is like that…imagine that…but again, societal stigmas are still very prevalent against homosexual acceptance…ppl still seem to have a fear of tolerance for accepting homosexuality for what it is.

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Corysta that’s why I sid – the information I obtained from my GBF. I can be called fork for all I’m concerned.

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Meant it call be called fork for all I’m concerned

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@Ared-unless there was infidelity..

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I agree, but yet if they think he’s scum then leave it alone.

Blat – Where is the fun in that? Might as well stick around and see if I can get a bill paid first.

Just kidding. I agree.

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Melo — I mean, some gay and lesbian relationships adhere heavily to classical masculine/dominant roles, but that is not a mandatory part of all gay relationships. I have never treated any of my partners like a woman, nor have they ever treated me as such. I have feminine ways, they have feminine ways, we both have masculine ways, etc…By no means do I mean to suggest that gay culture is beyond gender roles — they still plague us and our expectations.

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Staceye – They are getting married in the Church. They love each other I believe she thinks he has a “sickness” that can be cured with prayer and therapy. They are both very religious.

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@BLAH – you go Dude!!! Thank you so much! You said it all! Maybe we could hook up and hang out. I need more male gay friends. LOL they know all the single lesbians. ROTFL

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….what an oxymoron to request a topic such as this to be “Adult” (XXX) & “clean” ??? Most adult discussions are extremely uncensored, which is why grown folks usually send the children away or outside in yard to play…I’m just sayin’

Now my initial comment would have just been “What in the heyal do I look like, seriously considering a man for a relationship (casual or longterm), when he’s made it known or has certain tendencies to prance his sugary azz right back over the other side of the fence at moments notice?…especially being that I have children. Look, it’s pretty clear that homosexuality is first and foremost based off of which gender one PREFERS to have sex with. End. Of. Discussion. And I’m not in the business of convincing nor trying to understand why a man cannot seem to navigate properly with ONLY the use of his own stick shift…but hey, whatever blows his skirt. <—Like I said, that would have been my initial response.

I have no real problem with a person acknowledging and being who they are, just as long as they’re not in the business of converting the community with “their beliefs”. Besides, I don’t go around categorizing folks based on their “preferences” when it comes down to whether or not I can honestly view them as a geniune person. Heyal, I’ve been told at least twice by one of the clerks at one of the one stop (payment) centers of how attractive she thinks I am…saying your face reminds me of a babydoll, everytime I see you. Now she’s obviously a lesbian, but she often apologizes for complimenting me. I guess she thinks I’ll be offending. And really, I am not. I smile and say thank you and usually ask about the other staff that I haven’t seen for awhile. And that’s that.

However, there is one exception and that is when I notice more and more gay couples are being allowed to adopt & raise children. As if that would not confuse the child(ren) more by throwing more gasoline to the fire. I had a discussion with a couple a few years back when I was a volunteer of The Alpha House of Tpa. And the two ladies actually sat there bewildered at the fact that may be their sexual orientation/behaviors in front of one the partner’s 13 yr old had something to do with her rebellious/defiant outburst. I could do nor say a word, except shake my dayum head and walk away.

Honest question for Blah – and out of curiosity…when did you come to grips/acknowledgment/out of the closet with your orientation? And would your preference stem from something that occured during your childhood?…

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@DK you know what I really don’t care if their post are edgy or not. I don’t care if their feelings are hurt..hell people get their feelings hurt all the time. Considering the trauma that has been inflicted on some women and men by those so called lost in the sexuality struggle..why in the sam hill(this must be the other word of the day) would someone not be open to the gay community. Now if they want to be all brand new..about the issue of DL men then that works for them but here on the other side of reality we know it goes on and has been going on for years. This goes back to acceptance..if you think what you living and how you living is right then damn what society says..Free your own damn mind..but I think those that live that DL lifestyle do so cause they are not so sure about their own damn choices so they blame everyone else(society) for not accepting them. Hell accept your own self.

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**….what an oxymoron to request a topic such as this to be “Adult” (XXX) & “clean” ??? Most adult discussions are extremely uncensored, which is why grown folks usually send the children away or outside in yard to play…I’m just sayin’**

i know right!

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i mweant the guy is the who with hanging pants etc….sorry

It’s not animalistic

Cafe,i aint being moralistic but descriptive but lady/dude!!!??,its worse than being animalistic coz i know no male animals that fugg other males backside in dud hole like that unless its male on female.
I know,animalistic in this sense will take a deregatory connotative sense but jesuuuuus,fugging another man is unconcsienable!

Have u tried serious prayer to see if u can overcome ur tendencies or just abstaining from that shyyt altogether??
It aint natural coz i dont know none of u who have fathered a kid, doing it that way.
What say u??

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@Ared- No Staceye is the only one on her who knows my family and my daughter…ewwwwwwwww

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@W8
your whole 1:22 has me written all over it. thanks!

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W8 – I was just pointing out that it’s the nature of the beast to ask such questions on here from time to time, based on something someone has posted. Never thought you were interested in her, or would care if you were or werent.

But yeah, I’m glad you and Staceye are friends.

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ok, so follow up question….

I’ve only been married again for about 7 months, but its surprising and a little offputting.

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@Kym

I said that the article “referenced” a study.

As an interested party, I actually read the study. But if you wanna argue with scientists and their conclusions, FBM.

@Tazz

You have to sign up for that joint or can you just run? Hit me at danbynight@netzero.com with some details.

I wanna put this training in to practice.

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it’s just odd that others can say what they want for whatever reason then I get condemned for saying what I want for wahtever reason..

Lawd W8 – Not you too. Everyone gets slammed on here for saying controversial stuff from time to time.

There are NO victims here. You say it you should be prepared to stand by it if someone calls you on it!!! (and of course you are always welcome to rebutt or argue in return).

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Ah, yo

Cafe, don’t leave man.

Ignorance is the sin, truth is the answer. Never let someone dismiss you for being you

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“its worse than being animalistic coz i know no male animals that fugg other males backside in dud hole like that unless its male on female.”

Melo — Actually, this does happen among all types of animals.

You know, I think it was a similar topic that prompted my moniker… I really don’t care who or what does it for other people. I know what I’m attracted to — honed down to a very specific sub-set of women, I might add — so what other people do or like (or like to do) is totally their business. I’m Swiss, as far as all that is concerned.

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@Ared- You know you want me ..quit playing with your tall self, besides if we get married we will have the same intials for our first and lastnames..”JJ”…..LMAO..just kidding..just kidding…(runs like hell from Ared)

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KYM – Get your panties out a bunch babe I think we are saying the same thing.. Except.. I consider other peoples feelings.. It bodes well for the universe. I’m not taking up for anyone just giving my insight on being enlightened. I know you dont care about others feelings because you can come across as cold and callous sometimes. I’ve read you enough to glean that piece of info.. If thats how you choose to be then who am I to tell you your wrong for being you.. I dont like the DL set but I dont like Liars period, so chill its all good.

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And I don’t give a merry damn if you are black and made that statement. You still out of your MFing mind.

*closing the piano and bolting like dude on Color Purple*

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LMAO..just kidding..just kidding…

W8 – You damn straight bruh! I’ve got my blog husband and you ain’t he, sucka!

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In response to – why do so many women KNOWINGLY flirt with married dudes?

I can’t speak for everybody, but flirting can be a real ego booster, and IMHO it’s not the flirting that causes problems but the interest in and pursuit of taking it beyond the flirting. Some women I know see flirting with a married guy to be completely safe because they’re not worried about that person thinking they’re being promised anything or wanting to take it any further than just bantering. If someone is joking and flirting, generally being friendly with somebody, that’s one thing, but if they’re talking about doing something to/with them or taking it beyond a certain point even just verbally, that’s when it becomes an issue.

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I wasnt typing that in a Angie sort of way..

*hollers* W8 – That’s all you had to say then, bro.

I got you.

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she may have been a lesbian.

True Cafe,althho its rare. When i pounce,9 times outta ten,i come out biting sme on my mouf.
But i aprreciate ur insght,both of u.

Did ur parents ever try to convince u to change that behavior.
Im thinking, if growing up,i ever went about sexxing diff women and my parents got wind of it,they wld chastise me.
Were u allowed to mngage like that by ur parents,willy nilly??
Anne hersch went from str8 to lesbo to str8 and married.I still think it can be done with prayer!
(i aint being funny)

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MELO..I think Anne Heche was just experimenting then went back to what was right for her.

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@DK I don’t have my panties in a bunch. I said I don’t care about their feelings. I don’t know them too care. I don’t have to be nice to them because who in the hell says they have to be nice to me. And no where did I say or insinuate that you were justifying DL behavior.

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@melo – no my parents didn’t try to “convert” me – Thank God they were into “individualism”. they have despised some of my girlfriends though – and they turned out to be correct with their assessments. LOL

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W8 – Nah my Guy I would never condemn what you say cause thats how you feel.. Youre being honest. I can accept that rather than someone sitting back riding the fence not saying anything. You know that sneak dissin..

Thats why its great to live where we live because we can disagree as long as we respect each others differences. I understand its a strong provacative conversation. You still my DO double G

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Kym, I agree that it is completely different being gay and being black, and that it’s dangerous to make sloppy comparisons. The black experience in America is unprecedented in its violence, inhumanity and persistence. But there are important similarities and differences between the black and gay experience that should be noted when you dismiss the comparison.

Important differences: As difficult as it is to grow up as a black child in America, and learn in subtle ways that the promises of equality are not always afforded to you, at the very least you have family members and others close to you who share in your struggle, and help you navigate your way through what can be a difficult life. For gay children, most suffer alone, in silence, often with their family members being their biggest source of oppression.

As far as violence: Gay men are protected only because we are hidden. Even with all of the advances gay people have made and with same-sex marriage popping up around the country…Two gay men cannot hold hands and walk down the vast majority of streets, neighborhoods and counties in America, without opening themselves up to violence. America’s addiction to patriarchy and masculinity has made male-male intimacy among the most revulsive acts in our society, and such behavior provokes a visceral reaction in many still today…For all of the signs of gayness that people see everywhere and they say it makes them sick, I garauntee you are not seeing male-male intimacy on a regular basis, and it will be quite a while before our world is safe enough for that.

So gay men are protected from violence because we are hidden. We hide our sexual orientation, but black people cannot hide their skin color. This is probably news to you, but it is not a reward or something for you to deny who you are in order to stay safe. It is a constant assault on your human dignity, and so the fact that gay people can hide their sexuality should not be considered a positive, or easy out.

Finally the similarities: The most important similarities between the black civil rights struggle and the gay rights movement is OUR OPPONENTS. If you look at the people who lead the fight against gay rights, their philosophical ancestors are the same people who opposed civil rights, who opposed women’s rights, who oppose immigrant rights, etc. etc., and they often recycle the same arguments. If you are someone who believes in justice and the civil rights movement, the fact that you are now aligned with the forces that were so adamantly opposed to those earlier causes of justice should give you a moment of pause. It should spark meditation, and a conversation with your God about whether your understanding of his will is as infallable as you believe it is.

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@Dk-That’s whats up bro..

LOL I see what you are up to though trying to get with Cafe and her lesbian friends…lmao..shhhhhhhhh…lmao j/k..lmao

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@Kimmie- Yeah I am so UGA and so not sidewalk alumni…Now stop batting those eyes girl..you gonna make me open my wallet..lmao..LMAO

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Sexy- You could holla @ me @ michellecamille@live.com if have something to get off your chest Sugar

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W8 – Well she said she was pretty and feminine.. If nothing else she can be my wing man.. Ooops I mean my wing woman.

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First and foremost, I’m giving Blah a standing ovation on his post@ 1:09 and I admire your honesty. It’s very refreshing.

@Infamous, if I rolled lemons in an apron an high heels and didn’t get your goat, something’s wrong with me! I’m pretty confident I can get your goat!

@Beautiful, wow, they sent you a pic of their new baby. Well, your sons now have another brother.

@Cafe, honey no need to leave this battleground. It’s a mine field on any given day. Only the strongest survive and Beautiful/Angie is the strongest amongst us. Stay and enjoy the varying view points. If things get disrespect for you, call the person on it and keep on moving….

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Moving on…

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Leggs – Please please please.. Dont do me like that baby..

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LOL@Dk and Melo

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riding in my chevy!!!!!!!!!

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Forgive me blah if I don’t break out the small violin and weep and moan on your behalf. First off I have not aligned myself with any forces(this is not MFing Star Wars) 2nd As you say gay is hidden. No one is crossing the street if they see two gay(white) men for fear of getting jacked. And last I checked gay people do not have worry if they will be denied access to the voting booth, or recieve inadquate services in their schools or community because well they are just gays…if all the hell you have to worry about is someone won’t accept you expressing your damn love for someone other dude or dudette as the case maybe then again you are not getting any pity over here partner.

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On them 24’s. I got my seat let back…

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OKAAAAAAY SEXXYLEGGS… Hmmph, gonna find me a goat to get too

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And like Forest Gump said, “That’s all that I have to say about that”.

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PoppaG Please. I too say, just stay in your lane….I’m pro-lane.

SexyCool thank ya!

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I see Baton Bob marching around Midtown proudly in wedding gowns or majorette uniforms regularly

PG – I’ve only seen his pictures!!!

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AR

I’ve actually spoken to him. He isn’t shy at all. He poses for pictures and everything. He was talking to the producers of Will & Grace about a show. I don’t know what became of that, though.

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He isn’t shy at all.

You don’t say???

http://thevitalvoice.com/2003/2003_0425%20Issue/artwork/Bob-sidewalk-web.jpg

Yeah, I don’t think homie would classify as “shy!”

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Now I cant agree when it comes to the Black experience to the Gay experience. I can see why some would want to make the comparision but its not the same. A Gay Man is a Man, but a Black Man was 1/3 of a Man and sometimes still treated as such. There is nothing on the planets history that can equate to slavery and I mean as far back as BC times. For a person to be treated like a aninmal has to be the worst.

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Poppa Grande, I respect your discomfort with comparisons between black and gay, and I will refrain from making such comparisons. I believe the case for gay rights must, and can, stand on its own.

Several interesting points: Baton Bob — free as a bird, victim of a gay bashing.

Gay people hiding their sexual orientation don’t hurt society — but they inflict tremendous damage on themselves. Imagine going through your life believing your love is too disgusting to share with anyone but your partners — that you can’t put a picture of your partner on your desk, or lean over and give your partner a a kiss of love if the feeling strikes you.

The problem so many people have with gay rights is that they assume its all about the right to kiss each other and butt hump. People are obsessed with gay sex that they can’t even begin to see the dignity that we are denied on a daily basis.

Imagine, any of you, waking up one morning and learning that 76 percent of your neighbors, of your fellow citizens, in a land where everyone is supposed to be free, had gone to the ballot box and voted to say that you are not equal, you are not deserving of what we deserve. It is shameful.

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@Ce- the chopper is in the back

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Kym: I guess it is Kym’s turn now!!

Mytwo- You listening to Crystal Waters?

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Blah/Cafe – Can I enlighten you for a moment. You might not wanna rush those marriage rights.. Its not all its cracked up to be. I’m just saying.

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Dan

I saw it but it is really different IMO.

Opponent may be the same, but homosexual can hide until they are ready to face that opponent.

Most blacks are out in the open and that opponent can see us. We are forced to face it whether we are prepared or not. There were plenty of blacks that were/are scared. Hiding isn’t really an option for most.

The DL ones make it tough for me to buy the argument.

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I got the Kenwood hot….

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Oh and for the EEEO know it all…

Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA), it is illegal to discriminate in any aspect of employment, including:

hiring and firing;

compensation, assignment, or classification of employees;

transfer, promotion, layoff, or recall;

job advertisements;

recruitment;

testing;

use of company facilities;

training and apprenticeship programs;

fringe benefits;

pay, retirement plans, and disability leave; or
other terms and conditions of employment.

Discriminatory practices under these laws also include:

harassment on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, or age; retaliation against an individual for filing a charge of discrimination, participating in an investigation, or opposing discriminatory practices;

employment decisions based on stereotypes or assumptions about the abilities, traits, or performance of individuals of a certain sex, race, age, religion, or ethnic group, or individuals with disabilities; and denying employment opportunities to a person because of marriage to, or association with, an individual of a particular race, religion, national origin, or an individual with a disability.

Title VII also prohibits discrimination because of participation in schools or places of worship associated with a particular racial, ethnic, or religious group.

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Bout to let them fly

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blah

Gay people hiding their sexual orientation don’t hurt society

Yes, it does. Especially in the realm of relationships, it has been written on this blog today that women don’t expect a truthful answer when they ask about sexual orientation. They means that many females go into meeting a guy (whether he is homosexual or not) lacking trust of the guy in something that could very well kill them.

It is just one of many issues of trust that have women have developed in regards to men.

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No where does it say sexual orientation..and incase you feeling cute Sex discrimination is

Sex Discrimination
Title VII’s broad prohibitions against sex discrimination specifically cover:

Sexual Harassment – This includes practices ranging from direct requests for sexual favors to workplace conditions that create a hostile environment for persons of either gender, including same sex harassment. (The “hostile environment” standard also applies to harassment on the bases of race, color, national origin, religion, age, and disability.)

Pregnancy Based Discrimination – Pregnancy, childbirth, and related medical conditions must be treated in the same way as other temporary illnesses or conditions.

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PG- True Indeedy!

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Ared- Mail Call

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So, Melo — if another dude tries to suck your wang — is that not gay

he wld be as gay as the lady i see walking down the lonely street at 12 midnite and i conclude shes a pro.
We all have our leanings and beliefs,conclusions etc in our heads.Unless u have absolute evedince to that effect,u cant have it as fact but u free to take that evidence and conclude however u want.
Even so-called scientists do that.How many times have we heard of drug companies falsifying stuff so as to arrive at the evidence they want??? Counteless times.
If u tell me u obseverd with ur own eyes those dogs actually phluckking and they are the same sexx,i wld give u props.
Again,i been among animals,in real lyfe,sheep,goats etc,domesticated and have had interration with wild animals too,neva ever heard of 2 males phlucking each other.
Only humans.And u tell me its natural.
Give me a phlucking break!

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My point was that if a dude is knowingly sleeping with women while having HIV or any other STD and not letting them know he’s being dishonest. Actually, having sexual contact with anyone while knowingly having a STD is dishonest and in the case of something like HIV is criminal<– True BUT people shouln’t have sex with ANYONE without knowing their STD status..

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Ce – Is that a yes or a no?

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arrive at the conclusion they want..oops!

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Lioness I really don’t care..I like controversy but I don’t like itchazz behavior..and I was waiting for someone to make that black/gay comparison. Believe me I will go toe to toe on that topic. Black people have suffered to much..to long and lost to much of our heritage in the struggle. We are a proud race or people who I watch every day get further and further away from what we are suppose to be. So I will be damn if you will even for a moment compare “strange fruit in the trees” with some dudes damn desire to get married so society will accept him. Man please the damn “gay community” is still not that damn accept of black gays. I don’t do well with folks who act all brand new.

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Of course its a stupid question, trying to get a rise out the females in attendance. But their responses show me nothing has changed in two years…

Are you kidding with this?

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ARED – I’m so glad you had to opportunity to witness Future Greatness.. Students from the Vanglorius Tuskegee University.. Heeeyyyy Tuskegee! Woo! woo! wooo!

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@Jamoca ~ sssshhhhssshhh!

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Melo Given the break…ditto.

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I’m sorry Poppa — I misunderstood your earlier posting…I thought you said that those who hide it don’t hurt society; I was making the point that they truly hurt themselves. Having re-read your comment, I agree that it is also hurtful to society for gay people to not be honest about who they are.

Dan, I completely understand why many black people are uncomfortable with the comparison to gay rights. I think it is one of the most distasteful aspects of our movement that we are so quick to say, “well it’s just like if the KKK said to black people,” or “This is no different than what Hitler did to the Jews.” These are lazy arguments that turn off more people than they convert.

I think comparisons come so naturally, mainly because the arguments used against gay rights are the same that were used against blacks. Read about Loving v. Virginia, or Brown v. Board of Education…The arguments are identical (i.e. protect the children, God’s plan, yadda yadda), and so often times it’s important to inform folks that you were wrong back then, and you are wrong now.

Finally, the black civil rights movement in America was one of the most successful social justice campaigns on the face of the earth, and shines as an example for all peoples who are striving for liberation: women, gays, Iranians, the list goes on. We must continue to use the valuable lessons that the Civil Rights Movement has offered, while not pretending that our struggle is the same.

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Black and gay people are the same..you sucking on something for real and it is not dizzle <—- Dayum Kym! See that there is a “Cheryl-type chick”…fits you perfectly.

Oh Rasa Devi With how my inna “Pusha Guhl” was feeling, I’ddah wrestled n’ slithered with a few of those Burmese pythons we Flaw-duh folks sent ya’lls way myself. I’m dangerous around this time of year…those 25 foot serpents ain’t nuthin’ on me. And again, may the lawd have mercy on him Lololol

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@Spoiled Lioness
We are in agreement there.

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“If u tell me u obseverd with ur own eyes those dogs actually phluckking and they are the same sexx,i wld give u props.”

Dude, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’ve seen, w/ my own 2 eyes, a male dog mount & hump another male dog — and this same dog shows no interest in the female dogs. Now, I didn’t get in there to check if there was any actual penetration happening, but hey — even dry-humping another male dog seemed gay enough to me… I’m just sayin’…

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even dry-humping another male dog seemed gay enough to me…

swiss – Right, cuz if a guy said, “naw, I’ve never kiss or sexed a guy, only dry humped him…” he’d certainly get the and not pass go with me!!!

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But blah,

Those that make that comparison are using a flawed logic.

Prime example: even at the signing of the Declaration, Black people were not people we were counted at that time as 3/5 of a person = less than human (which is what bugs me about PETA, but that’s a whole nuther story).

In today’s society your rights as an individual (couple) are being quesitoned, not your humanity. Not your right to exist.

Black people have fought to be considered people first, members of society 2nd, and equal members of society 3rd.

No gay person has had that struggle.

So in that respect, they are NOT the same.

Add that corrollary to the “lazy argument” column

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I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GLAD I am Taken & LOVED cause I couldn’t handle that type of truth AT ALL!! I would need the bottle after that convo! Shyte, during that ENTIRE convo!!

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Lioness – What game are you playing gurl!

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There would never be a gay president….just saying

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I can’t function in my mofo guise when all these dang pineapples are around me…

SexyCool I tagged.

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Kimmie- you are so small minded…and I am ignorant

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