Where is your label?
Sexual orientation can be a touchy topic among single people on the dating scene. Some people want to know immediately; some try to guess, while others make a fool of themselves with assumptions. Do you think it is rude and impolite to inquire about sexual orientation?
I am a pretty friendly person so a lot of times I like to get clarification about whether I am engaging in friendly chat with a stranger or if we are checking each other out for potential romance, number exchange, or whatever. I have simply asked outright. Not in a malicious way or to offend, I just put it out there so I can get clarity: Do you date women, men, or both?
Do you ask people their orientation when you first meet them? Have you ever been asked the “which team are you playing for” type of question? How did you react?
I have known women who consider themselves bisexual. I am not sure if it means anything, but they currently are seeking/are in relationships with men. Their attraction for women is still there and they openly tell men about their past experiences and it does not seem to impede them.
Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?
Ladies, if a man admitted to having prior experiences with other men, is that an immediate turn off for you? Do you feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with someone you are getting to know?
What do you think about sexual labels: straight, gay, bisexual..etc. Are they necessary or not important?
Touchy topic, so let’s keep the discussion adult and clean.
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864 comments Add your comment
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
June 24th, 2009
1:30 pm
“its worse than being animalistic coz i know no male animals that fugg other males backside in dud hole like that unless its male on female.”
Melo — Actually, this does happen among all types of animals.
You know, I think it was a similar topic that prompted my moniker… I really don’t care who or what does it for other people. I know what I’m attracted to — honed down to a very specific sub-set of women, I might add — so what other people do or like (or like to do) is totally their business. I’m Swiss, as far as all that is concerned.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:31 pm
Blat – You’ve been married for 7 months and have a kid coming already huh? Folks aren’t wasting anytime I see.
I don’t flirt with married dudes. I have too much of an ego to play myself like that.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:31 pm
@Ared- You know you want me ..quit playing with your tall self, besides if we get married we will have the same intials for our first and lastnames..”JJ”…..LMAO..just kidding..just kidding…(runs like hell from Ared)
blah
June 24th, 2009
1:31 pm
Cemeeli — if parents influence their child’s sexual orientation, then why do straight parents produce gay children? It’s very sad that you would rather see a child suffer or be abandoned than welcomed into a loving and supporting home, simply because you have issues with how people are supposed to relate to one another.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:32 pm
KYM – Get your panties out a bunch babe I think we are saying the same thing.. Except.. I consider other peoples feelings.. It bodes well for the universe. I’m not taking up for anyone just giving my insight on being enlightened. I know you dont care about others feelings because you can come across as cold and callous sometimes. I’ve read you enough to glean that piece of info.. If thats how you choose to be then who am I to tell you your wrong for being you.. I dont like the DL set but I dont like Liars period, so chill its all good.
mytw♥cents...la di da di
June 24th, 2009
1:32 pm
W8 a cooton pick’n minute! I bet you won’t call out the chicks actin like they got **** (Double Dare you to say my name lol)
BLAT They do that so as to have a disclaimer…then if sumthin progresses, it’s Your fault…cuz as previously sted,:You’re a dog. Yeah, its almost 2010 and some of us are still runnin low on accountability.
Somebody mentioned married bi women. I know at least three who were all out lesbian & now married , poppin kids out. Had to ask self it this the new gateway to the vows?!?! Then again, could just be cultural as they’re all ‘others.’
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:33 pm
And I don’t give a merry damn if you are black and made that statement. You still out of your MFing mind.
*closing the piano and bolting like dude on Color Purple*
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:33 pm
@Dan – you are absolutely correct! It just amazes me how ignorant some people are in today’s society. I will still be reading. I guess because of some of the anti-gay sentiment the government decided to add sexual orientation to the EEO laws.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:34 pm
LMAO..just kidding..just kidding…
W8 – You damn straight bruh! I’ve got my blog husband and you ain’t he, sucka!
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:35 pm
Lawd W8 – Not you too. Everyone gets slammed on here for saying controversial stuff from time to time.
@Ared_ I wasnt typing that in a Angie sort of way..I was more talking about how people whatever but then a certain topic is brought up then it has to be swept under the rug..why not leave everything open for discussion..lol..I dont have feelings on here..lmao
Corysta
June 24th, 2009
1:35 pm
In response to – why do so many women KNOWINGLY flirt with married dudes?
I can’t speak for everybody, but flirting can be a real ego booster, and IMHO it’s not the flirting that causes problems but the interest in and pursuit of taking it beyond the flirting. Some women I know see flirting with a married guy to be completely safe because they’re not worried about that person thinking they’re being promised anything or wanting to take it any further than just bantering. If someone is joking and flirting, generally being friendly with somebody, that’s one thing, but if they’re talking about doing something to/with them or taking it beyond a certain point even just verbally, that’s when it becomes an issue.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
1:36 pm
I’m sorry…masculine & gay man in the same sentence is an oxymoron to me unless the word NOT is in it. I mean how can you say you ar masculine when you are doing another dude in the pooter? @ rusty a$$ hard men laying up with each other…its a bloody swordfight!
W8…no I do not have a man!
And hellz no it would not be that dred dude….he was so not my type! 
ARED…OMG cure his gayness?
What next…I tell ya!
” When I get married, I will get married in the traditional church in front of all my friends and family.” If you guys hear about a church that spontaneously combusts….just know that this is what is going on in there.
CEMEELI…aw your young manchild made his mami dinner. So cute!
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:37 pm
I wasnt typing that in a Angie sort of way..
*hollers* W8 – That’s all you had to say then, bro.
I got you.
Tazzee - countdown to NFL season
June 24th, 2009
1:37 pm
Dan – just sent you the link.
kimmie – I want a recipe too. I don’t have one to share and I’m not sure if I’ll ever make it – but I’ve been accumulating recipes JIC
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:38 pm
she may have been a lesbian.
True Cafe,althho its rare.
When i pounce,9 times outta ten,i come out biting sme on my mouf.
But i aprreciate ur insght,both of u.
Did ur parents ever try to convince u to change that behavior.
Im thinking, if growing up,i ever went about sexxing diff women and my parents got wind of it,they wld chastise me.
Were u allowed to mngage like that by ur parents,willy nilly??
Anne hersch went from str8 to lesbo to str8 and married.I still think it can be done with prayer!
(i aint being funny)
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:39 pm
W8 – I’m done riding the Chevy…you can take it for a spin on Peachtree.
It’s on you bruh…
@Ce- You aint slick..I kow how you roll..and you already knew what I was going to do anyway…didnt ya..tell the truth and shame the devil..lol
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
1:39 pm
MELO..I think Anne Heche was just experimenting then went back to what was right for her.
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:40 pm
why do so many women KNOWINGLY flirt with married dudes?
who asked that stupid qstion??
Kym
June 24th, 2009
1:41 pm
@DK I don’t have my panties in a bunch. I said I don’t care about their feelings. I don’t know them too care. I don’t have to be nice to them because who in the hell says they have to be nice to me. And no where did I say or insinuate that you were justifying DL behavior.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 24th, 2009
1:42 pm
Taz – You got an email I can send it to? Remember, the measurements are not exact, so you have to adjust it to taste. Killer though!!!
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:42 pm
@melo – no my parents didn’t try to “convert” me – Thank God they were into “individualism”. they have despised some of my girlfriends though – and they turned out to be correct with their assessments. LOL
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:43 pm
Oh hey Kimmie!!!! I didnt say it earlier…..uh ohh I may like you…lmao
(trying to lighten the mood)
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:43 pm
W8 – Nah my Guy I would never condemn what you say cause thats how you feel.. Youre being honest. I can accept that rather than someone sitting back riding the fence not saying anything. You know that sneak dissin..
Thats why its great to live where we live because we can disagree as long as we respect each others differences. I understand its a strong provacative conversation. You still my DO double G
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
1:44 pm
Mr. Blah Before i proceed to reply ….Are you gulity of such as i said? Raising a gay or lesbian child?
if parents influence their child’s sexual orientation, then why do straight parents produce gay children?
I never seen a “straight” couple would confuse (the word i used) their child. Porduce? We if the child see “STRAIGHT” couples they are more than likely grow up to be heterosexual adult. If they veer off into the other side…then are we sayint that it’s the hetero parent at fault? Let’s not!
It’s very sad that you would rather see a child suffer or be abandoned than welcomed into a loving and supporting home.
Noooo who said suffer the child? I am pro-healthy child period, not pro-lets pretend it’s not going to affect him/her’s life.
How i relate it is, not healthy.
blah
June 24th, 2009
1:45 pm
Kym, I agree that it is completely different being gay and being black, and that it’s dangerous to make sloppy comparisons. The black experience in America is unprecedented in its violence, inhumanity and persistence. But there are important similarities and differences between the black and gay experience that should be noted when you dismiss the comparison.
Important differences: As difficult as it is to grow up as a black child in America, and learn in subtle ways that the promises of equality are not always afforded to you, at the very least you have family members and others close to you who share in your struggle, and help you navigate your way through what can be a difficult life. For gay children, most suffer alone, in silence, often with their family members being their biggest source of oppression.
As far as violence: Gay men are protected only because we are hidden. Even with all of the advances gay people have made and with same-sex marriage popping up around the country…Two gay men cannot hold hands and walk down the vast majority of streets, neighborhoods and counties in America, without opening themselves up to violence. America’s addiction to patriarchy and masculinity has made male-male intimacy among the most revulsive acts in our society, and such behavior provokes a visceral reaction in many still today…For all of the signs of gayness that people see everywhere and they say it makes them sick, I garauntee you are not seeing male-male intimacy on a regular basis, and it will be quite a while before our world is safe enough for that.
So gay men are protected from violence because we are hidden. We hide our sexual orientation, but black people cannot hide their skin color. This is probably news to you, but it is not a reward or something for you to deny who you are in order to stay safe. It is a constant assault on your human dignity, and so the fact that gay people can hide their sexuality should not be considered a positive, or easy out.
Finally the similarities: The most important similarities between the black civil rights struggle and the gay rights movement is OUR OPPONENTS. If you look at the people who lead the fight against gay rights, their philosophical ancestors are the same people who opposed civil rights, who opposed women’s rights, who oppose immigrant rights, etc. etc., and they often recycle the same arguments. If you are someone who believes in justice and the civil rights movement, the fact that you are now aligned with the forces that were so adamantly opposed to those earlier causes of justice should give you a moment of pause. It should spark meditation, and a conversation with your God about whether your understanding of his will is as infallable as you believe it is.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 24th, 2009
1:46 pm
W8 – Hey, I’m not surprised, what’s not to like?LOL!!! You know I’ve been batting my eyelashes at you since you blazed on the blog scene, with yo UGA swag!!LOL!!
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:46 pm
@Dk-That’s whats up bro..
LOL I see what you are up to though trying to get with Cafe and her lesbian friends…lmao..shhhhhhhhh…lmao j/k..lmao
SexyCool - You don't want to....really.
June 24th, 2009
1:47 pm
Taz – send me the link, please.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:48 pm
@Kimmie- Yeah I am so UGA and so not sidewalk alumni…Now stop batting those eyes girl..you gonna make me open my wallet..lmao..LMAO
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:49 pm
Actually, this does happen among all types of animals
swiss,i doubt it.Ive been with animals all my lyfe and i think u read that from a book,and did not see it.
Ive been in animal settings all my lyfe,never ever seen it!
Prove me wrong buddy!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
1:52 pm
Sexy- You could holla @ me @ michellecamille@live.com if have something to get off your chest Sugar
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
1:52 pm
lolW8 Shame the devil?!
Okay i will!
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:53 pm
W8 – Well she said she was pretty and feminine.. If nothing else she can be my wing man.. Ooops I mean my wing woman.
i'm swiss (aka Buckshot Prior)
June 24th, 2009
1:53 pm
Melo — Some friends of my fiance, have 5 dogs. I’ve personally seen one of them (a male) repeatedly try to hump the other 2 male dogs — and completely ignore the female dogs.
Leggs (Karyn)
June 24th, 2009
1:55 pm
First and foremost, I’m giving Blah a standing ovation on his post@ 1:09 and I admire your honesty. It’s very refreshing.
@Infamous, if I rolled lemons in an apron an high heels and didn’t get your goat, something’s wrong with me! I’m pretty confident I can get your goat!
@Beautiful, wow, they sent you a pic of their new baby. Well, your sons now have another brother.
@Cafe, honey no need to leave this battleground. It’s a mine field on any given day. Only the strongest survive and Beautiful/Angie is the strongest amongst us. Stay and enjoy the varying view points. If things get disrespect for you, call the person on it and keep on moving….
SexyCool - You don't want to....really.
June 24th, 2009
1:56 pm
Press MUTE
SexyCool - You don't want to....really.
June 24th, 2009
1:56 pm
Moving on…
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:58 pm
Heck I have had porch sex and had
DK,who on here condemn porch sexx(looking left and right)???
ima try it in our tree house,in the back yard!
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:58 pm
Leggs – Please please please.. Dont do me like that baby..
Tazzee - countdown to NFL season
June 24th, 2009
1:59 pm
kimmie – Tazzee@gmail.com
SexyCool (and anyone else that wants to participate) you can register at http://www.hbcualumniatlanta.com
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
2:00 pm
LOL@Dk and Melo
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
2:01 pm
Did ur parents ever try to convince u to change that behavior.
I have a 2nd cousin that was flaming since he got out the womb. His father kicked his azz his entire childhood for playing with dolls, wanting to hang with the girls, tumbling and just being “girly.” We felt so bad about his frquent beatings that if he COULD have changed he would have changed.
You can’t “convince” someone to change what is natural to them like sexual orientation. As most you may just hide it or suppress it because now you are ashamed of it.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
2:01 pm
riding in my chevy!!!!!!!!!
Jamoca
June 24th, 2009
2:02 pm
Blah Thanks for answering…and Cafe don’t let this here run you off, this is the norm…. and we might fight amongst each other, but I’ll promise you this, we’ll burn dis’ bish down, if you get us pissed…(from none other than) LOL But seriously, stick around…some of your responses are enlightening, even if I do not wholeheartedly agree.
And to respond to why I think gay couples adopting/raising children is not a good idea. Simply, IMO it was never intended to be that way…regarding the natural order of things. Just because the child is in a bad situation, does not warrant another to come along and make the situation worse and full of confusion. Now if the child grows up and makes the decision to go that route, then there’s not much one can do, but the parents/guardians/caregivers are still accountable for showing the child(ren) how it was “initially” meant to go down. Folks have a tendancy to make desperate moves out of desperation. Doesn’t make it right, even if it “helps” you.
Sometimes in life we’re dealt a bad hand, some learn early on and some learn later on how to deal and/or cope efficiently with what they have. But that there is still no excuse. Bottomline: it will/has confused today’s children/teens even more. And that is one example of how folks vicariously convert others with “their beliefs/choices” as a coping mechanism and/or crutch, so that they’re not alone with said choices THEY THEMSELVES made in the beginning.
That’s almost like the state having favoritism for the mother over the father. She may be in AA meetings, recovering addict…the father on the other hand may be “just getting by”…may live in another city, but show favor of the mother, simply because she’s the mother? Naw, she needs help her dayum self…what good is she to the child, when she has not fully recovered herself. So out of desperation, we should suffer the child in a more unstable/unfitting environment, when the child’s environment is already a hardship??? IMO that’s just from bad to worse, but hey that’s just me.
Kym
June 24th, 2009
2:02 pm
Forgive me blah if I don’t break out the small violin and weep and moan on your behalf. First off I have not aligned myself with any forces(this is not MFing Star Wars) 2nd As you say gay is hidden. No one is crossing the street if they see two gay(white) men for fear of getting jacked. And last I checked gay people do not have worry if they will be denied access to the voting booth, or recieve inadquate services in their schools or community because well they are just gays…if all the hell you have to worry about is someone won’t accept you expressing your damn love for someone other dude or dudette as the case maybe then again you are not getting any pity over here partner.
Poppa Grande
June 24th, 2009
2:03 pm
As far as homosexuality goes, I feel that there is a biological gene in it. Therefore, I do by the being born that way argument. Other species have shown homosexuality. Most prevalent are sheep. Many have sex with a female a limited number of time just for reproduction and after that they have sex with other males. Google sheep and homosexuality and you will find numerous studies. I was a psychology major and spent a couple of classes on sexuality. Who would volunteer to be part of a group in which the prejudice that they will have to deal with can be rough.
Being that I feel that there is a biological component, I don’t buy the Donnie McClurkin “I’m cured of homosexuality”.If he is cured, then, he was just confused and not really gay.
However, the gay community loses my support when the whole comparison to being black. I cannot hide my skin color. I have to deal with it whether I want to do so or not. I can lie on a job application, but it will quickly become apparent that “I’s negro” as soon as I sit down for an interview.
Just be you. If you are gay, so what? I see Baton Bob marching around Midtown proudly in wedding gowns or majorette uniforms regularly. He stays in his lane and I stay in mine. Those hiding it, hurt society in so many ways.
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
2:04 pm
On them 24’s. I got my seat let back…
Melo
June 24th, 2009
2:04 pm
I’ve personally seen one of them (a male) repeatedly try to hump the other 2 male dogs
i knew u were wrong there somewhere.Like i said,that dont happen in animals either.
Read ur rebuttal and u will see,nothing in there thats fact that u obseved.
Tell me about an example where u saw a male dogg,cow/ox,donkey,horse,lion,zebra,u name it..etc phlucking another male dog,not “trying”"!!!
It dont happen in animals,its not natural,it dont produce offspring,its not documented etc.
Gays/lesbo are worse than animals in that respect.
(just a descriptive observation,not dergatory at all altho that cld be dble edged)
mytw♥cents...la di da di
June 24th, 2009
2:04 pm
OKAAAAAAY SEXXYLEGGS… Hmmph, gonna find me a goat to get too
Melo
June 24th, 2009
2:04 pm
another male animal,rather!!