Where is your label?
Sexual orientation can be a touchy topic among single people on the dating scene. Some people want to know immediately; some try to guess, while others make a fool of themselves with assumptions. Do you think it is rude and impolite to inquire about sexual orientation?
I am a pretty friendly person so a lot of times I like to get clarification about whether I am engaging in friendly chat with a stranger or if we are checking each other out for potential romance, number exchange, or whatever. I have simply asked outright. Not in a malicious way or to offend, I just put it out there so I can get clarity: Do you date women, men, or both?
Do you ask people their orientation when you first meet them? Have you ever been asked the “which team are you playing for” type of question? How did you react?
I have known women who consider themselves bisexual. I am not sure if it means anything, but they currently are seeking/are in relationships with men. Their attraction for women is still there and they openly tell men about their past experiences and it does not seem to impede them.
Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?
Ladies, if a man admitted to having prior experiences with other men, is that an immediate turn off for you? Do you feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with someone you are getting to know?
What do you think about sexual labels: straight, gay, bisexual..etc. Are they necessary or not important?
Touchy topic, so let’s keep the discussion adult and clean.
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864 comments Add your comment
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:01 pm
to the INFAMOUS DK – you are absolutely correct!!!! LOL ROTFL Since a straight or bi person can’t say what it’s like being gay, they should probably not comment unless they’ve had extensive supportive conversation with friends and/or family members. Those that do so (condemn gayness) are not being objective and the lack of objectivity leads to ignorance.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:02 pm
Oh that is one desperate a$$ nasty chick for knowingly laying with a man who is a$$hole surfing with men.
Staceye – They are abstaining til marriage.
I figure they will be abstaining after marriage too.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:03 pm
I have gay cousins male and female..I still think the same way
Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”
Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them”
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:05 pm
KYM – I’m just saying.. Everybody has judgements and just reading Blah and Cafe I see their post are getting more and more edgy.. I imagine that some of these commments have probably been hurtful.. Thats all..
I dont know anything about the Gay community either but I’m just not the kind of person who would keep intentionally doing something that hurts someone.
I dont agree with the homosexual lifestyle but its not my lifestyle so who am I to judge is all.. That was my light bulb moment.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:07 pm
Why do women want to call a married man a dog for flirting with them, and proceed to CONTINUE the flirting???
Flirting is fun, but if a married man initiates it, he’s scum.
SexyCool - You don't want to....really.
June 24th, 2009
1:07 pm
My verbal ability overwhelms your small mind.
I drop venomous verse like a sniper on a tight line.
With stealth, my poisonous pen will eradicate you, exterminate you, erase you.
I don’t even have to face you.
All I have to do is place you
underneath my feet to disgrace you.
If this were a race you
would even make it to the finish line,
so slow you couldn’t even find
the right pace and you will unwind.
And I should I allude to
The fact that we will not include you
and now that I have to mute you
and that I would not even stoop to
lend you a helping hand if you begged me.
Yeah, you think you slick, but you’ve pegged me
all wrong.
Naw, you don’t wanna sing that song
cause you ain’t that strong,
and you won’t last that long.
So let’s drop this s#!t.
I am not the one you or YO MAMA wanna get wit’.
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:07 pm
Melo: There is no male or female version in a gay male relationship
Blah,that is interesting.Is that the same with lesbians that they are no gender roles?
Whilst observing gays and lesbians, i have tended to see some as being more masculine and the others as feminine.I see that on the train,a chic dressed as a guy and a guy acting feminine.I took that to mean the lady is the one who has phaging pants,chains on his pants and his pants hanging low means hes the guy version in the lesbo relationship.School me on that!
I was on the train last week and met this lesbo cpple that looked exactly like mr and mrs.The “guy”,in typical male character was sitting there,acting uninterested whilst the female partner was yapping on and on about stuff.Him just nodding and silent,like i wld if my Qiueen was there with me.I actually told Queen about that scenario when i got home that evening.
Is my observation skeewed then Blah.
I would understand what u expalin if we are talking of bi-sexuals in females(no gender roles,that is) but for gays and lesbians,thats kinda weird tho,but i be gald to hear ur clarification on that.
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:08 pm
W8 – There you go – folk that condemn gay people crack me up throwing scriptures but they have yet to provide one where Jesus condemned homosexuality. The individuals in Leviticus are just more people condemning other people. I bet you’d have a fit if you knew I was a gay Christian. LOL
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:08 pm
uh ohh SexyCool has started lyrical warfare…
blah
June 24th, 2009
1:09 pm
M — I agree with everything you said in your last post.
Tmac — As a masculine gay male, I used to be discomforted by feminine gay men because I thought they gave me a bad name. But you know what, they’re just being themselves, and if I have a problem with people thinking all gay men are feminine, then it’s on me to offer an alternative example.
You think they’re girly, but they are brave, brave souls. For hundreds of years, they were the only type of gay people to say, I don’t care if the world will hate me, I am not going to lie about who I am. From the bottom of my heart I thank them for their courage, because they paved the way so that people like me could one day be comfortable with ourselves without being afraid.
So no, being feminine is not a mandatory part of being gay, and I would bet a great deal of my money that you would never be able to tell that I was gay if I didn’t tell you so, or if I didn’t show affection to my partner in public. I am not proud that I am unclockable, that is just the type of person I am. At the same time it’s IMPORTANT for me for people to know that I am gay, not so that I can shove my sexuality in their face, but just so that I can help counter the centuries of stereotypes and confinement that gay people have been forced to live in.
Infamous — thanks for your support. I’m by no means an expert on gay existence, but I do know quite a lot about it, and think I have a valuable perspective being part of the community we’re talking about.
BLATino..... yes, THAT dude... Now Married, lil girl comin, learning a whole NEW game for the MLB.........and STILL a LESBIAN
June 24th, 2009
1:09 pm
ARed….
I agree, but yet if they think he’s scum then leave it alone.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:09 pm
@Cafe I knew one you would bite…let’s go…besides tell me this Gay Christian how many times is the word Christian used in the Bible..I am happy you are a gay christian maybe we can pray that right up out of you.
M'
June 24th, 2009
1:10 pm
@Cafe
Most of the ppl whom I have asked about their earliest recollection that they were attracted to the same sex told me that they knew very early on…age 5, age 8, age 10, etc…my empirical based conclusion was that ppl are born attracted to: the opposite sex, the same sex or both…period…and why is not even an issue…it just is like that…imagine that…but again, societal stigmas are still very prevalent against homosexual acceptance…ppl still seem to have a fear of tolerance for accepting homosexuality for what it is.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:10 pm
**Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?**
i don’t think it bothers a man that the lady he is dating has been with both. why would it?
Grace
June 24th, 2009
1:11 pm
Corysta that’s why I sid – the information I obtained from my GBF. I can be called fork for all I’m concerned.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:11 pm
W8 – Divorce is also an abomination.
Grace
June 24th, 2009
1:12 pm
Meant it call be called fork for all I’m concerned
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
1:12 pm
BEAUTIFUL…if I am not enough for him…he can go and never come back. I do not do sloppy seconds nor share my man. I doubt if he’d like me to bring another dude home….so why should it be ok for him? HELLZ NO!
ARED…is it a financial marriage only? I hope they are not getting married in a church….lying in God’s Crib! BLAPHAMY!
Wow SEXYCOOL! Do ya thang ma!
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:12 pm
@Ared-unless there was infidelity..
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:13 pm
Melo – what’s the difference between a metrosexual straight man and a very masculine man? ALL gay people don’t act like the opposite sex. Just like metrosexual men may have more estrogen than the testosterone loaded macho man, that doesn’t make him less “straight” does it? There are gay people that based upon the social steroetypes that just don’t fit (gay man= feminine man, lesbian=masculine woman). If you ever asked, you’d be surprised. If you’re a straight man and were ever turned down by what you thought was a very beautiful, sexy, and feminine woman – she may have been a lesbian.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:13 pm
I agree, but yet if they think he’s scum then leave it alone.
Blat – Where is the fun in that? Might as well stick around and see if I can get a bill paid first.
Just kidding. I agree.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:13 pm
**Flirting is fun, but if a married man initiates it, he’s scum.**
O.M.G.!!! i can’t agree more.
blah
June 24th, 2009
1:13 pm
Melo — I mean, some gay and lesbian relationships adhere heavily to classical masculine/dominant roles, but that is not a mandatory part of all gay relationships. I have never treated any of my partners like a woman, nor have they ever treated me as such. I have feminine ways, they have feminine ways, we both have masculine ways, etc…By no means do I mean to suggest that gay culture is beyond gender roles — they still plague us and our expectations.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:13 pm
@Staceye- You got a man now? Is it that guy with the dreds? lol
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:15 pm
Staceye – They are getting married in the Church. They love each other I believe she thinks he has a “sickness” that can be cured with prayer and therapy. They are both very religious.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
1:15 pm
I’m back to my center today ya’ll of “Just Being”.. Just be who you are it doesnt matter if I like it or not because guess what I’m gonna be who I am no matter who likes it.
W8 – I understand the Bible well but I also know I aint the one to be throwing scriptures at nobody.. Heck I have had porch sex and had some La Perla’s on my head playing Mr Wrestling number 2. And all this was fairly recent. Heck my best friend is a Porn Star so I aint throwing no scriptures around.
Cafe/Blah – Now I’m not saying I will be coming to any gay clubs but ya’ll have made me give the gay community a little more respect as far as me being so abrasive..
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:15 pm
@BLAH – you go Dude!!! Thank you so much! You said it all! Maybe we could hook up and hang out. I need more male gay friends. LOL they know all the single lesbians. ROTFL
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:16 pm
my ex and his wife just had a baby boi.
) the poor thang is a gemini. anyhoo, they texted me a pic. wow! i honestly don’t know what to say about that.
Jamoca
June 24th, 2009
1:16 pm
….what an oxymoron to request a topic such as this to be “Adult” (XXX) & “clean” ??? Most adult discussions are extremely uncensored, which is why grown folks usually send the children away or outside in yard to play…I’m just sayin’
Now my initial comment would have just been “What in the heyal do I look like, seriously considering a man for a relationship (casual or longterm), when he’s made it known or has certain tendencies to prance his sugary azz right back over the other side of the fence at moments notice?…especially being that I have children. Look, it’s pretty clear that homosexuality is first and foremost based off of which gender one PREFERS to have sex with. End. Of. Discussion. And I’m not in the business of convincing nor trying to understand why a man cannot seem to navigate properly with ONLY the use of his own stick shift…but hey, whatever blows his skirt. <—Like I said, that would have been my initial response.
I have no real problem with a person acknowledging and being who they are, just as long as they’re not in the business of converting the community with “their beliefs”. Besides, I don’t go around categorizing folks based on their “preferences” when it comes down to whether or not I can honestly view them as a geniune person. Heyal, I’ve been told at least twice by one of the clerks at one of the one stop (payment) centers of how attractive she thinks I am…saying your face reminds me of a babydoll, everytime I see you. Now she’s obviously a lesbian, but she often apologizes for complimenting me. I guess she thinks I’ll be offending. And really, I am not. I smile and say thank you and usually ask about the other staff that I haven’t seen for awhile. And that’s that.
However, there is one exception and that is when I notice more and more gay couples are being allowed to adopt & raise children. As if that would not confuse the child(ren) more by throwing more gasoline to the fire. I had a discussion with a couple a few years back when I was a volunteer of The Alpha House of Tpa. And the two ladies actually sat there bewildered at the fact that may be their sexual orientation/behaviors in front of one the partner’s 13 yr old had something to do with her rebellious/defiant outburst. I could do nor say a word, except shake my dayum head and walk away.
Honest question for Blah – and out of curiosity…when did you come to grips/acknowledgment/out of the closet with your orientation? And would your preference stem from something that occured during your childhood?…
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:16 pm
he’s a cute lil booger!
Kym
June 24th, 2009
1:17 pm
@DK you know what I really don’t care if their post are edgy or not. I don’t care if their feelings are hurt..hell people get their feelings hurt all the time. Considering the trauma that has been inflicted on some women and men by those so called lost in the sexuality struggle..why in the sam hill(this must be the other word of the day) would someone not be open to the gay community. Now if they want to be all brand new..about the issue of DL men then that works for them but here on the other side of reality we know it goes on and has been going on for years. This goes back to acceptance..if you think what you living and how you living is right then damn what society says..Free your own damn mind..but I think those that live that DL lifestyle do so cause they are not so sure about their own damn choices so they blame everyone else(society) for not accepting them. Hell accept your own self.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:17 pm
@Staceye- You got a man now? Is it that guy with the dreds? lol
Watch out Staceye! If he’s asking he must be interested in you!
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:18 pm
**….what an oxymoron to request a topic such as this to be “Adult” (XXX) & “clean” ??? Most adult discussions are extremely uncensored, which is why grown folks usually send the children away or outside in yard to play…I’m just sayin’**
i know right!
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:21 pm
W8 – BTW – I’ve been OUT my entire life – even during my 12 years of service in the Military. I think folk that are still in the closet are in the closet because of things you’ve said. No one wants to be discriminated against because of their sexuality just like they don’t want to be discriminated for their race either. I’m just thankful that “Sexual Orientation” has finally been added to the EEO laws. When I get married, I will get married in the traditional church in front of all my friends and family.
Melo
June 24th, 2009
1:21 pm
i mweant the guy is the who with hanging pants etc….sorry
It’s not animalistic
Cafe,i aint being moralistic but descriptive but lady/dude!!!??,its worse than being animalistic coz i know no male animals that fugg other males backside in dud hole like that unless its male on female.
I know,animalistic in this sense will take a deregatory connotative sense but jesuuuuus,fugging another man is unconcsienable!
Have u tried serious prayer to see if u can overcome ur tendencies or just abstaining from that shyyt altogether??
It aint natural coz i dont know none of u who have fathered a kid, doing it that way.
What say u??
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:22 pm
@DK- i am always going to be me and do what I please and speak my mind..it’s just odd that others can say what they want for whatever reason then I get condemned for saying what I want for wahtever reason..I don’t have to accept a damn thing anyone says just like they don’t have to accept what I say. If we enter some banter so be it..they can state the facts form their point of view just like I state mine..Who is right who is wrong..nobody really knows but we all have backgrounds that form our opinions..I am just not the sit back silent type. We can talk about everything from A to Z on this blog..but once certain stuff is thrown out there. whoaaaaaaaa..this post is not directed in a harsh manner towards you or anyone else its just my thoughts..I for one am not without blame, plenty of faults I have
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
1:23 pm
@Ared- No Staceye is the only one on her who knows my family and my daughter…ewwwwwwwww
Kym
June 24th, 2009
1:24 pm
Cafe..if you think being gay equals being black or latino ..but lets stick with black because thats the history I know you are out of your MF mind. Gay can’t be seen..but I see brown, black, tan everyday. And trust me..the level of hatred for that runs way deeper than two dudes 69ing in their own home.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:25 pm
@W8
your whole 1:22 has me written all over it. thanks!
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
1:25 pm
@ BLAH & DK I’m outta here – some folk are getting way too anti-gay. It’s one thing to feel/believe a certain way and it’s another to condemn folk for not feeling/believing as oneself does. Feel free to email me at cafe_amor09@live.com.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:25 pm
W8 – I was just pointing out that it’s the nature of the beast to ask such questions on here from time to time, based on something someone has posted. Never thought you were interested in her, or would care if you were or werent.
But yeah, I’m glad you and Staceye are friends.
blah
June 24th, 2009
1:25 pm
Jamocha: I knew I liked boys when my preschool classmates and I would sneak off to the bathroom together and play with each other’s private parts. I never had a doubt, and I have little doubt that most of the boys I was playing with back then grew up to be authentic, sincere heterosexual men.
Growing up on the South Side of Chicago, I knew it was not OK to like boys and so I was “DL” for most of my childhood and adolescence, But at 18 I feel in love with someone very special, and I realized how disrespectful it was to me, to my love, to my family, to everything I believed in, to hide apart of who I am and pretend to be something I’m not.
BLATino..... yes, THAT dude... Now Married, lil girl comin, learning a whole NEW game for the MLB.........and STILL a LESBIAN
June 24th, 2009
1:26 pm
ok, so follow up question….
why so many women KNOWINGLY flirt with married dudes?
I’ve only been married again for about 7 months, but its surprising and a little offputting.
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
1:26 pm
I appreciate – When i see new unexpected toys in the gym when i go to work out.
I do not appreciate – Someone going in the fridge and eating up my fresh cherries.
I appreciate – My 10 year old making dinner lastnight cuase i was tired. So he has been paying attention on how to us the George Foreman grill. (Mamma’s proud)
I do not appreciate – Gay/Lesbian couples rasing a kid/baby and the child’s sexuality is confused, to that of what’s healthy.
Please stop the madness!
Dan
June 24th, 2009
1:26 pm
@Kym
I said that the article “referenced” a study.
As an interested party, I actually read the study. But if you wanna argue with scientists and their conclusions, FBM.
@Tazz
You have to sign up for that joint or can you just run? Hit me at danbynight@netzero.com with some details.
I wanna put this training in to practice.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 24th, 2009
1:27 pm
Sister Cee/SCool – I just emailed the recipe to the address SCool provided.
Leggs – Thanks for the recipe. If you have an email address, I’ll share my famous one with you too!
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:28 pm
it’s just odd that others can say what they want for whatever reason then I get condemned for saying what I want for wahtever reason..
Lawd W8 – Not you too. Everyone gets slammed on here for saying controversial stuff from time to time.
There are NO victims here. You say it you should be prepared to stand by it if someone calls you on it!!! (and of course you are always welcome to rebutt or argue in return).
Kym
June 24th, 2009
1:28 pm
And I don’t give a merry damn if you are black and made that statement. You still out of your MFing mind.
Dan
June 24th, 2009
1:28 pm
Ah, yo
Cafe, don’t leave man.
Ignorance is the sin, truth is the answer. Never let someone dismiss you for being you
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
1:30 pm
W8 – I’m done riding the Chevy…you can take it for a spin on Peachtree.
It’s on you bruh…