Where is your label?
Sexual orientation can be a touchy topic among single people on the dating scene. Some people want to know immediately; some try to guess, while others make a fool of themselves with assumptions. Do you think it is rude and impolite to inquire about sexual orientation?
I am a pretty friendly person so a lot of times I like to get clarification about whether I am engaging in friendly chat with a stranger or if we are checking each other out for potential romance, number exchange, or whatever. I have simply asked outright. Not in a malicious way or to offend, I just put it out there so I can get clarity: Do you date women, men, or both?
Do you ask people their orientation when you first meet them? Have you ever been asked the “which team are you playing for” type of question? How did you react?
I have known women who consider themselves bisexual. I am not sure if it means anything, but they currently are seeking/are in relationships with men. Their attraction for women is still there and they openly tell men about their past experiences and it does not seem to impede them.
Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?
Ladies, if a man admitted to having prior experiences with other men, is that an immediate turn off for you? Do you feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with someone you are getting to know?
What do you think about sexual labels: straight, gay, bisexual..etc. Are they necessary or not important?
Touchy topic, so let’s keep the discussion adult and clean.
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864 comments Add your comment
Demi...Former Proud Lesbian!!!
June 24th, 2009
12:34 pm
Lioness…how do you know what…LOL
I am out y’all!!!!
DJ Sniper
June 24th, 2009
12:34 pm
Beautiful, yep, that’s the spot. lol Ah, the memories I have from that place. lmao
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:35 pm
Lame People EVERYONE
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:36 pm
Should be avoided @ all costs
Melo
June 24th, 2009
12:36 pm
This North Korea thing is unsettling
SCool,my wang just went cold on that news announcement.
Why wear your sexuality on your sleeve?
i think it s a good thing.Lesbo-guys(is that what they called),really hate it if u holla at them thinking they regular.They mugg u.
So its better if they got some kinda of label to say,”sorry to guys,i dont take stick!”
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:37 pm
Random thgt: I have NO idea why I am thinking about YO MAMA jokes..
Leggs (Karyn)
June 24th, 2009
12:37 pm
@ARed ~ Sassy – Okay. You’re on probation then….but I saw the bologna comment too you rascal!!! That was comical!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:37 pm
Melo-
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
12:39 pm
Leggs – I love the word rascal. It’s a good to slip it in when flirting with a new guy. He’ll appreciate it’s use and it’s a good way to break the ice and get a laugh.
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:39 pm
Demi- Cause I am GROWN
Tmac
June 24th, 2009
12:39 pm
I am homophobic, ew ew ew especially to Gay black men. I just cant stand to see a black man acting so girly, aggrrrrr
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:41 pm
Random thght- Since we are on the topic of chicken… I have spoken to A LOT of people recently that don’t wash their meat before they cook… That threw me for a loop
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:41 pm
Leggs – The Firmly roll the lemons comment was sexy for some resaon. I dont know, someone standing in the kitchen rolling lemons with a apron and heels on would probably get my goat..
Melo
June 24th, 2009
12:41 pm
blah,from a gay perceptive what do u call the female version and the male.
Is it the norm that the aggressor/pursuer is the male version(or whatever u call them)
Hw do uall smell each other out really?
So u personally, absolutely and positively hate pudsy??
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:42 pm
Tmac- Don’t be scurred casue most likely they don’t want you either..
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
12:42 pm
@SNIPER
i heard it was nice in there. when you first walk in there is a dance floor, a yummy buffet, and ev1 sittin’ around lounging. then when you head to the back through the double doors . . . BAM!!!! it’s on till the break of dawn. lol. and i heard it’s cheap for the ladies to get in, but they charge like $150 for the men? dang!
did you have a membership?
Tmac
June 24th, 2009
12:43 pm
I am sure somebody here proobly seen that guy but I took my uncle from Africa to Westin plaza to have dinner at the sky bar with his wife and this young skinny gay kid was at the receptionist desk. It was so annoying the way he was acting and my poor uncle asked him with harrrrrd african accent, if he is a boy or a girl. hahaha. grabbed him and head to the elevetor with out expecting an answer from that kid.
I dont get it, wanting to have sexual desire with same sex is one thing but why act so girly….ewww it was gross
blah
June 24th, 2009
12:44 pm
I think bisexual men are secretive because most people are hesitant to divulge information about themselves that they assume will make people automatically reject them. That doesn’t make their secrets right, but might explain their dilemma a bit.
And M…one more thing, since you keep referencing your 31 years of experience among gay men…YAWNNN….You and the queens you were with then and now are becoming a bygone generation, and gay people and gay culture have evolved radically since 1978. LMAO that you would even think that “knowledge” you aquired about gay behavior in 1978 is the same as 2009…Your expertise is outdated as your thinking,
Tmac
June 24th, 2009
12:45 pm
Spoiled Lioness…
Thank Godness!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:45 pm
I am going to NEED all of the men on here to STOP using “EWWWWWW” It reads so girly..
Kym
June 24th, 2009
12:45 pm
Dan please don’t get all Wild Kingdom up in this piece no one said a damn thang about other animals in nature. And USA Today is about as much a news source as the freaking funny pages. Please. You have bisexuals saying they don’t know what or who the sam hill they like..those who say they dont what sex they would like to be..and others saying they will try anyting once..twice if it feels good and three times for good measure.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
12:46 pm
they have a blog too. i was on there for about a week. married folks looking for either one female or another couple. single folks looking for hook-ups. it was too much for me.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
12:46 pm
I am going to NEED all of the men on here to STOP using “EWWWWWW” It reads so girly..
*weezing*
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
12:46 pm
@Lioness-EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:46 pm
Beautiful – It cheaper as a couple.. You get a membership for three months.. So a dude canget a girlfriend of his to sign up with him and she’ll never go but it saves him dough..
Leggs (Karyn)
June 24th, 2009
12:47 pm
@Tazzee, yes hopefully most women who cook know about rolling of the lemons, oranges, etc. You get more juice that way. I’ve heard of people who put the lemons in the microwave for a few seconds to release the juices, but I’m not keen on mircrowaving.
MissQC
June 24th, 2009
12:47 pm
Hello everyone
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:47 pm
Blah aka Go Hard- Thanks! Do you think a man that has had a homosexual encounter could never EVER EVER do it again? Or do you believe, once you go there there is no turning back?
Tmac- Try it you might like it
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
12:49 pm
Aw…Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillo split. This is a teeny bopper headline, but I liked them together.
Bad week for relationships…
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:50 pm
Kym-
:lo: 
The men in here use it FAR more than I have EVER read any of the women use it.. Just saying
Kym
June 24th, 2009
12:50 pm
Also, why in the world is it so all fired important for me as a hetrosexual to accept someone who is gay? If you don’t wear it or say it how will I know and why in sam hill should I care? Not to go political but gay rights is a touchy subject with me. I know gay people but I don’t love them cause they are damn gay..I love them because they are great people. This whole thing smells alot like ..the way hippie white folks do..I have plenty of black friends. *wink* Whateva.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
12:50 pm
Tmac- Try it you might like it
Don’t get fired Lioness! I still got some pink slips!!!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:50 pm
Ared- I thought they have BEEN finished since last year…
blah
June 24th, 2009
12:51 pm
Melo: There is no male or female version in a gay male relationship. We are both men, and we don’t have to fit into any specific gender roles.
Do I hate vagina? I absolutely do not hate it — a vagina produced me! Sexually, I am disinterested in it. However, I will say, I absolutely do not rule out having safe sex with a woman in my future. There’s always that possibility, because I believe women can be very attractive and sensual. But I would certainly be honest, and let her know that I am a gay man.
And even if I had sex with a woman, that will not make me bisexual. I am gay. I love men. I say this because I think the same is true for heterosexual men and women. I think that they can have a same-sex experience and that does not make them bisexual or gay. They are heterosexual.
Our desires can be fluid or momentary, while the core of who we are remains unchanged.
Tmac
June 24th, 2009
12:51 pm
shyyyt…i dumped a hot girl ’cause she is too friendly with gays and has so many of them as a friend. She is one of those “human right” types….
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:51 pm
Ya’ll know what I just had a light bulb moment.. I bet Blah and Cafe are just sitting back like look at these ignorant MF’s talking bout the Gay community they know nothing about.. I say it all the time a woman cant tell me nothing about being a man, and i admit I cant tell someone whos gay about the gay community. I can only ASSume.
M'
June 24th, 2009
12:52 pm
@Blah
No doubt that gay men are not trying to get with any women…lol…that is why I like hanging out socially with my gay male friends…pure social interaction, cocktailing, convos on many subjects…and no concern for sexual engagement…makes for a perfect social butterfly advent…some of my best.
I am specifically addressing those men who do not come forth right with their sexual duality…and there are many still fronting the straight role b/c of their fears of being alienated or ostracized from a certain perception of a societal norm…like there is this one dude, a brother…big, huge mammoth of a man…he hangs out at Tripp’s…hmmmm, he has tried to hit on me a couple of times…but my inclination is that if he is at Tripp’s it ain’t b/c the drinks are cheap…lol…now, when ask he claimed to not be into men…uh-huh…I’ll beg to differ…Tripp’s is not a straight man’s scene…so I think he is bi and not open about it.
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:53 pm
Tmac- You need more people
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
12:53 pm
@Kym- I love you for your 12:50
@Lioness- We dont say anything about the some of yall women here who carry on like dudes…lmao..ewwwww@women who act like dudes..lol
Cafe
June 24th, 2009
12:55 pm
I think the other risk we face is that some narrow minded folk like to condemn gay people. I often wonder if the folk doing the condemning of gay people are the same ones participating in anal sex with their wives. I knew a woman who’s husband liked her to penetrate his rectum with the handle of a hairbrush. He too, would be the first to condemn the gay lifestyle. We are all different and we should all accept our differences and move on. It’s not animalistic, raunchy, dirty, immoral, or whatever word is chosen to describe bisexuality or homosexuality. It’s just different than what some would chose. I knew at the age of 4 I was gay (no trauma or manhater issues) so I don’t know anything else. To me being gay is no different than being white, black, or purple. Its just a part of who I am.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
12:55 pm
ARED…”He’s found a woman who is looking the other way and they will wed.” Oh that is one desperate a$$ nasty chick for knowingly laying with a man who is a$$hole surfing with men. EWWW!
CORYSTA…”I’m a chick and I’ve been dating a guy since last year who’s bi. He’s what matters to me not his sexual orientation.”
Que crickets!…..WTF…ewwwwww!!! I hope you don’t give brain to that dirty d!ck! I think I just lost my appetite. barf! My Lord she is tasting the rainbow…SKITTLES!
W8….I am tolerate because I have an auntie who is gay. And though I may not agree with the lifestyle I still love her. My friends that are gay..they treat me nice…and always have my back. Again…they know I do not like what they do. But it doesn’t hurt me…and they not make moves on me. Come to think of it…I guess I was the “Hag” because they were always hanging with my crazy butt! Friends with gay/lesbian fine…but no romance!
Oh and what do you know about Trapeze and 2 Risque?
FREAK!
DOS CENTAVOS…”“Every gay man kinda wants to be a Black woman” The flambouyant ones…of course! Isn’t it funny!
INFAMOUS….I like front porch/balcony sex!
BEAUTIFUL…I have been propositioned by couples for a 3some so many time. I wonder what that is all about. Shocks me each time that somebody just asks me that!
Once it was over breakfast…dang near choked on my egg whites. Granted…it was at Hedo! 
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
12:55 pm
hi QC!
can you tell BIGD i mees reading him? thanks. he had great blog chemistry.
DJ Sniper
June 24th, 2009
12:56 pm
Beautiful, yes it is a nice looking club. The front part has a bar(where you bring your own alcohol), tables, chairs, and a dance floor with a pole in the middle. Once you get ready to go to the back, you cannot wear street clothes. They have lockers for you to put your clothes in, and you can either wrap yourself up in a towel that they give you or you can bring something from home. When you go to the back, there are private rooms where you can close the door, and there are open rooms where you can do your thing in full view of everybody. There are also some couches and chairs where some people chill and some people get down. Then there’s another room in the back that is designed to look like a resort. There’s a heated pool in the floor, lounge chairs, three jacuzzis against the wall, and a couple of canopy beds with privacy curtains. As you can probably guess, I do have a membership there. lol
Tmac
June 24th, 2009
12:56 pm
Blah,
I think youwould be right person to ask. I personally dont have an issue with what people do in their own bedroom. Shyyt you can have r/s with an animal, I care less. My issue if those gay men trying to act so girly(man I can stand those swinging their hand like a owman and dress like a woman, talk like a woman and walk like a woman, especially especially black gay men) I cant stand em.
My question to you is, does that behavior come naturally being gay or its just a fasion statment by gay men ? SEcondly, cant you just be a man, normall acting man, talk like a man, walk like a man, dress like a man, and be gay?
M'
June 24th, 2009
12:57 pm
@Blah
About my knowledge you are dead wrong…I still have some very strong and vital ties with the community and many of the young ppl in it…especially when it comes to being comfortable with the who of your being…I do not think there is a stigma in being homosexual…and although it is easier today for many ppl to openly acknowledge being gay…some ppl still have problems with the stigma of being openly gay…society is not as evolved in being able to embrace the community as the community itself has evolved…imagine that…and you can not change the fact that many men still hide their sexual duality…women are less stigmatized fro being bisexual involved…not so for most men…just the way it is…so many still hide behind a facade of straight acting and living…period.
Kym
June 24th, 2009
12:58 pm
Infamous I don’t claim to know anything about the gay community..Hell the only thing I associated with being gay is too dude naked playing hide the sausage…or with lesbians two women playing peek a boo between each others thighs. All that other gay community stuff-whateva.(Today’s word must be whateva.)
Corysta
June 24th, 2009
1:00 pm
Grace – I know the answer (and it’s not a spooner), but what difference does it make for the purposes of this blog whether he was top, bottom, or a switch?
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
1:00 pm
@STACEYE
i just thought of a question to ask the ladies.
**if you were married and of course in luv wit yo hubby, if he asked if he could bring someone home, would it be ok witchu? how far will you go to keep your life partner happy?**
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
1:00 pm
Do I hate vagina? I absolutely do not hate it Sexually, I am disinterested in it.
blah – I am easil amused so this made me holler!
BLATino..... yes, THAT dude... Now Married, lil girl comin, learning a whole NEW game for the MLB.........and STILL a LESBIAN
June 24th, 2009
1:01 pm
DEMI!!!
Well Said. I say two women = Double the Drama……
On an unrelated note, Question for the Blog:
Why do women want to call a married man a dog for flirting with them, and proceed to CONTINUE the flirting???