Where is your label?
Sexual orientation can be a touchy topic among single people on the dating scene. Some people want to know immediately; some try to guess, while others make a fool of themselves with assumptions. Do you think it is rude and impolite to inquire about sexual orientation?
I am a pretty friendly person so a lot of times I like to get clarification about whether I am engaging in friendly chat with a stranger or if we are checking each other out for potential romance, number exchange, or whatever. I have simply asked outright. Not in a malicious way or to offend, I just put it out there so I can get clarity: Do you date women, men, or both?
Do you ask people their orientation when you first meet them? Have you ever been asked the “which team are you playing for” type of question? How did you react?
I have known women who consider themselves bisexual. I am not sure if it means anything, but they currently are seeking/are in relationships with men. Their attraction for women is still there and they openly tell men about their past experiences and it does not seem to impede them.
Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?
Ladies, if a man admitted to having prior experiences with other men, is that an immediate turn off for you? Do you feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with someone you are getting to know?
What do you think about sexual labels: straight, gay, bisexual..etc. Are they necessary or not important?
Touchy topic, so let’s keep the discussion adult and clean.
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864 comments Add your comment
Melo
June 24th, 2009
11:45 am
lovelyliz,u bi??
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:46 am
@Grace- no time to hear about others mess
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
11:46 am
Cotton candy, sweet and low, let me see that tootsie roll.
Come on, tootsie roll, just make that tootsie roll here we go, tootsie roll. Just make that tootsie roll….
Kym-Texas Gold Rita with Lime..is just fine.
June 24th, 2009
11:49 am
So are we still on DL Men, who’s gay and who’s not? I am so in need of some General Tao’s chicken today.
You know what I think alot of the problems we have with sex and asking who is what today is because we are so freaking conservative about sex. It is a natural desire to get naked..(please do not go all freaking biblical on me in here cause this can easily become the OK Corral today)
I will say that I am not of the school of thought that people are born gay. Sorry but if you are female and you hook up with another female who can only please you with the tongue and finger action(this is as clean as I can get) then you break out the plastic toys..the natural need is for penis to vagina contact..I don’t care how good you are with the strap-on..you only get that the old fashion way. Same for men..the anus is exist..I understand there is some weird sensation that folks get off on…but it is still the friction of the in and out that causes the ejaculation. Do you and him or her too but don’t expect all of us to understand it.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:49 am
@Page- It has been known that Atlanta is the DL capitol and that has been done by studies in the Gay community..you can not just base it off of reported diseases or what have you. Hence the term Down Low it’s secretive so I am sure its not just public info that you can get from a census book or google. Why are you getting all defensive about DL men? Do you have the usual suspects in your life? lol
Bill Dautrieve
June 24th, 2009
11:50 am
LENORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Melo
June 24th, 2009
11:51 am
Page, i think that statement is more of a euphamism.
A is proly more of the gay capital of the south.
When i was in the shuttle biz, i used to ferry gays coming in here for events and coming from such cities as Charlotte NC,Orlando fl,Houston Tx etc.
I think in the south,the A has gay/lesbo on lock!
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:51 am
I’m not getting defensive, it’s my opinion and you have yours. Like I said, I disagree and that’s it.
blah
June 24th, 2009
11:53 am
A lot of the people who think they know so much about Atlanta’s gay culture, or think they have impeccable gaydar obviously need to do more studying. Yes, Atlanta has a thriving gay culture, particularly a thriving black gay culture, but the vast majority of these men are not on the DL, they are not interested in women, and they are not participating in any charade.
The men you see outside of Bulldogs, the men you see inside Django, no matter how “straight” or masculine or rough they look, the vast majority of those men have not been with, or even expressed interest in a woman since puberty, if even then. Sure, Atlanta has it’s share of DL men; but Atlanta is not a DL city. Atlanta is a proud gay mecca.
Grace
June 24th, 2009
11:53 am
strong>W8 – LOL
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:54 am
There should be a term for DL women..or is that the term DL women
And aint now way you are born gay
Kym-Texas Gold Rita with Lime..is just fine.
June 24th, 2009
11:55 am
So I take it blah that you are gay?
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
11:55 am
It doesn’t reallly matter where the capital is. There are too damn many of em everywhere.
I wish there wasn’t such a stigma against gay black men in this country where they feel they have to keep it on the DL in the first place.
I am attending a wedding in the fall of a good friend from college. He has never admitted to being gay, but he’s been caught several times in some questionable situation. Knowing his feelings on homosexuality, I can tell that he never wants to live life as a gay man in America.
He’s found a woman who is looking the other way and they will wed.
Corysta
June 24th, 2009
11:55 am
I’m a chick and I’ve been dating a guy since last year who’s bi. He’s what matters to me not his sexual orientation.
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:56 am
I agree with Blah. To ME, being gay and being DL are 2 different things. They are not one in the same. If Atlanta is a proub gay mecca, so what. No one says San Francisco is the white gay city, do they? I could agree with Atlanta being a gay city, but to say it’s a DL city, ummm nope.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:56 am
@Bruthaman
here you go sweetie! when you get married, will it be for love?
@INFAMOUS
umm, say what?
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
11:57 am
I love djangos…they have the best pineapple (and bubble gum!) mojitos. I didn’t know that’s where the fun boys went.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Kym – blah said in his initial post that he is gay.
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
LOL @ fun boys.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Blah – See now I can respect that. You are doin you. If its one thing I have learned it is not to judge anyone. Just respect people for who they are.
Tazzee – I do think we here in America are very secretive when it comes to sex and sexuality. I should be able to say I like having sex on my front porch late at night without being labeled a freak. At least I wait for the children to go to bed. Dang!
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Somehow pineapples and mojitos in the same sentence…
hmmmm maybe it that “Pineapple Lifestyle”….
Melo
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
am not of the school of thought that people are born gay
i actually think that some pple can be honestly conflicted but that it requires prayer to God to overcome that.I really do!!
However, i also believe that gay/lesbo is also a fad to some,an attraction for some coz its in around their circles or they wanna try it for fun.
I dont think somebody would honestly and consciously want to bring pain and suffering on themselves by wanting to be gay/lesbo and be looked at in suspect fashion by society.So there have to be some who are honestly conflicted.Pray for them.
But this human rights thing has made ish go mainstream and some just lavish in this dog sexx.
Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe calls gays/lesbo, worse than dogs coz dogs dont go there!!
Whatchu all think??
Corysta
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Erm, I’m sure I just overlooked it in all the posts, but what does “DL” mean?
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:59 am
Angie, which question did you choose? I’m still trying to think lol.
DJ Sniper
June 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
Beautiful, you are so correct on swinging not being a gay thing. I’ll go ahead and put it out there: I’ve been to several swinger parties/club, and there has never been any man on man love going on. Anybody engaging in that would get booted out with the quickness. Now girl on girl love is allowed and encouraged. lol
Grace
June 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
Corysta is your guy top or bottom or is he a spooner?
M'
June 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
@Blah
Truly beg to differ…gay men who have no deisre to deal with women are straight forward with that…and yes, there are many DL men who frequent these scenes…and this I also know from the gay men who are involved with them…I have so many gay male acquaintances who just love to talk about the married men they hook up with…and they also like to point them out in these settings too…so, yeah right…blah.blah.blah.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
How about this, I am not tolerant of any of it..nor do I care to associate with those who are tolerant whether they are gay/lesbian or not..so what if I burn bridges or lose “friends”..you can adjust accordingly
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
12:01 pm
i wish i was bi. everytime i see a lesbo couple, they seem so happy. i’m guessing because life is more simple for them. how great is that to be with a female who knows what you’re talkin’ bout and feeling.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:01 pm
Beautiful – That youre a swinger..
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:02 pm
Ared-
I guess it is your turn now.. Fun Boys 
W8- I agree! That is why she is ONLY on my Yahoo messenger.. also, I see that you can’t hold back your feelings about the suject anymore..
@ Fags…
Melo- I thought she was a freak too to be willing..
@ ATL having the lesbo/gay thing on LOCK!!
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
12:03 pm
LOL Angie, but ummmm that is so not a good look when Aunt Flow visits.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
Beautiful – I have seen Lesbo women become more Jealous than men. I have seen a Butch chick knock her girlfriend out because she wanted to go and be with a man again. Be careful what you ask for.
Wise Diva
June 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
I would REALLY prefer that we not start a gay bashing, anti..whatever discussion. I would not want the discussion to deteriorate into that. We should all be able to voice our opinions without it.
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
The Rainbow folks I have encountered strive on trying to turn a person OUT! Female & Male rainbows..
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Looks @ Ce doing the tootsie roll
@Lioness- I am still cool..lol
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
OMG DK, that’s horrible. Domestic violence is prevalent in same sex couples.
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Beautiful – The force is telling me that you are on the fence and you want to experiment.
Wise Diva
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Also, let’s stay away from derogatory terms. I ain’t trying to hang out in the spam filter all day
M'
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Things that will not get resolved on this blog today:
1) Whether or not ppl are born homosexual
2) Whether or not the ATL is the DL capital or not
Any more????…lol
Melo
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Corysta is your guy top or bottom or is he a spooner
Grace,plz school me on spooners and all??
blah
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
@ M….and you believe them, too, every time they talk about a married man they’ve been with, or when they point at someone and says, “He’s gay.” LOL.
Just because you believe gay culture is a “secret world” doesn’t mean every secret you hear is true. Stop being so gullible, and then you might not have to worry about DL men.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
i wish i was bi.
And it’s not often simple for gay people in America.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
12:08 pm
@PAGE1908
my question was *when you get married, will it be for love?*
**Now girl on girl love is allowed and encouraged. lol**
i was asked by someone to accompany them to that one popular place there in ATL. i forgot the name. at the last minute we cancelled. the girl on girl doesn’t bother me, but man on man . . . h3ll to the naw. that’s nasty!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
12:08 pm
Angie- REALLY? I’ve never heard anyone say that before..
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
12:08 pm
LOL M, no that’s it.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
12:10 pm
Be careful Lioness you might offend someone with the term “Rainbow Folks”
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
12:10 pm
Ok, Angie, that’s a good question. Would you be looking for simply a yes or no response, or would you ask follow up questions?
Grace
June 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
Beautiful don’t get it twisted. Lesbo have their problems too. My girlfriend have just as much drama with her relationships/dating as I have had with mine.
Dan
June 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
To address the born gay/become gay question:
Recently, USA Today wrote an article that stated that across specie, there are animals that (attempt to) mate with partners of the same sex.
Having gay men and women in my family, let me tell you that you are BORN gay.
When you reach the age of sexual awareness, your initial appetite is what you will forever want. That appetite must be satiated and you are going to look for what addresses it.
To the point that people experience a gay lifestyle later in life, that is their denial of that initial appetite for whatever (usually social) reason.