Where is your label?
Sexual orientation can be a touchy topic among single people on the dating scene. Some people want to know immediately; some try to guess, while others make a fool of themselves with assumptions. Do you think it is rude and impolite to inquire about sexual orientation?
I am a pretty friendly person so a lot of times I like to get clarification about whether I am engaging in friendly chat with a stranger or if we are checking each other out for potential romance, number exchange, or whatever. I have simply asked outright. Not in a malicious way or to offend, I just put it out there so I can get clarity: Do you date women, men, or both?
Do you ask people their orientation when you first meet them? Have you ever been asked the “which team are you playing for” type of question? How did you react?
I have known women who consider themselves bisexual. I am not sure if it means anything, but they currently are seeking/are in relationships with men. Their attraction for women is still there and they openly tell men about their past experiences and it does not seem to impede them.
Guys, what do you think about women who have had relationships with both genders? Could you see yourself in a serious relationship with one?
Ladies, if a man admitted to having prior experiences with other men, is that an immediate turn off for you? Do you feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with someone you are getting to know?
What do you think about sexual labels: straight, gay, bisexual..etc. Are they necessary or not important?
Touchy topic, so let’s keep the discussion adult and clean.
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864 comments Add your comment
Melo
June 24th, 2009
11:18 am
Um no, Melo, the way you talk is gross
i know,sme chics dont like a guy to say too much, but just touch them right and do it.
If ur boy wanted to sexx u up, how does he approch the subject.
Smebody on the blog actually likes u Page and ur answer might actually benefit both of u!
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:18 am
Yeah, well, no W8 not, exactly. I guess you just had to be here to get the gist of it.
DJ Sniper
June 24th, 2009
11:19 am
No DK didn’t just bring back Mr. Wrestling #2! LMAO!!
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:19 am
@Page- Why would i ever want a SDSU tag on a car of mine?
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:20 am
Melo, lol omg.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:20 am
Damn self filter…I am the master of my domain..I am the master of my domain..I am the master of my domain
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
11:20 am
W8 Auight. auight. I’m going to sit back in the ‘Pala and listen.
Kimmie I need the lemonade for my book club meeting, please. I’m hosting the next on and I want my virgin drinks to be delish. I have this on lemonade i only find in TJMaxx that i spruce up. But…you know my “cater head” is on now that i’m going bbq style.
BLATino..... yes, THAT dude... Now Married, lil girl comin, learning a whole NEW game for the MLB
June 24th, 2009
11:21 am
Wise…
thanks for the Old School Blog Love!!!
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:21 am
LOL W8 cuz it’s cute that’s why.
M'
June 24th, 2009
11:21 am
@Sassy
Yes, for the uninitiated the rude awakening of what a “gay” man acts like, looks like and conveys is not always an absolute indicator of being gay…I have been around the gay male community since I was about 17, almost 31 years now…I have a very good sense of gaydar…hey-ale, even my gay male friends ask me…lol…but relying just on stereotypes can be a fatal mistake.
I have done the rounds of the gay scene in the ATL since the mid-80’s…and the most interesting sets are the private social club parties…I went to a few at D’Jango before I left the ATL in ‘07…I encountered a lot of middle aged Black men who would look totally hetero on the street…and the ones trying to play the DL would always look at me with trepidation b/c they weren’t sure whether or not they would run into me in a “straight” setting and get busted out.
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
11:21 am
DK-
Yall must have been bored!
Wise Diva
June 24th, 2009
11:21 am
Beautiful, Misadventures in Atlanta was started in March 2004, but I didn’t start contributing until August 2005. Cee asked how long I had been the moderator, so that is my own blogaversary date
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
11:22 am
W8 Stay in your domain, man…stay home.
Bruthaman
June 24th, 2009
11:22 am
Can I hijack the blog for one moment. Sorry WD
I need your help on something I’m working on. I need your honest
response, I promise It won’t be held against you. If you were allowed to
ask all the Men in the world (all races/ages etc…) ONE question that
they had to answer Truthfully. What question would you ask?
Remember ONE question and all Men had to answer it TRUTHFULLY or their balls would fall off or something like that.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:23 am
@SNIPER
i picture some men getting irritated, upset and questioning me on why i asked. the whole thing will go down hill from there.
Tazzee - countdown to NFL season
June 24th, 2009
11:23 am
Morning Folks!
When the whole DL thing first came out I would ask. Now I’m like SexyCool – if a guy expresses interest in me I assume he wants a woman. I only ask now if a relationship seems like it might advance to the point where I really need to know.
I would not be open to dating a guy that also likes men or has been with a man in the past. I do know two women that go back and forth between men and women. In both cases, their relationship with the woman was a rebound from a bad relationship with a man.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 24th, 2009
11:24 am
Sister Cee – When is your meeting? Gimme your email address. Keep in mind I don’t have exact measurements, but I know you can handle it, being a cook and all yourself!
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
11:24 am
Spoiled Lioness – Nah we werent bored.. Like I said I felt like Mr Wrestling Number two and of the top of the headboard I dove into action. Oh yeah it was a title match that night..
Jodi
June 24th, 2009
11:25 am
Yes, I ask men that I meet. People we live in DL Capital!!! If they say yes to prior experiences with dudes…then I keep it moving. I will NOT be competing with another guy in ny relationship.
Its all good to not want labels, but if you DL or bi/try…admit it!
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:25 am
@Page- I dont do cute…
@Ce- I am trying to…I really am…:)
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:26 am
@M
i have a wonderful gay-dar sensor that hasn’t failed me yet.
@WISE
gotcha!
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
11:28 am
M- So True!
This woman I know started dating this guy that she met @ the grocery store. She just moved to a new city & didn’t know a soul so they became good friends then lovers. This lady was Jehovah’s Witness, just got divorced etc.. When I tell you within a months time of them dating, dude was suggesting swingers clubs & even though she wasn’t enthused about going, she was willing to do ANYTHING to please her new man sexually. Homegirl told me about him suggesting the club on Tuesday & I asked her when was the “event” she said that Thursday. I was like WTH?? So soon? Next thing he suggested was anal sex.. All of this within 3 months of dating.. Mind you, this chick has only been with 2 dudes in her entire life & she is 40. I thought the dude was gay but never told her cause that was her man. Women need to take charge of their sex lives!
Cemeeli
June 24th, 2009
11:28 am
My kimmie Sister Leggs’ is our pawn. ‘told you yesturday. She cool. We all cooks.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:29 am
@Bruthaman
you’re cute! let’s see. my question would be . . .
i can only ask one question?
For Real
June 24th, 2009
11:29 am
Wise How long have you been m.i.a resident/moderator?
1st King: Hey did you hear about the new child?
2nd King: Child? That ain’t my child!
3rd King: Noooo 2nd King not that child. The child that was born in Bethlehem.
2nd King: Ohhhhhh okay no I haven’t heard about that one. I just wanted to let yall know that child wasn’t mines. You know how dem harlots lie.
Wise: Heyyyyy okay now kings, don’t start with the woman bashing. A new baby in Bethlehem huh?
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:30 am
Ok, where exactly does it say that Atlanta is the DL capital? I know it’s high, but I would disagree with that based on some of the studies I have seen that show areas such as Washington D.C., Los Angeles, Dallas and NYC as having a high prevalence of “DL”.
SexyCool - I'm so 3000 and 8. You so 2000 and late.
June 24th, 2009
11:31 am
Ce – Email me – cscfromajc@yahoo.com
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
11:31 am
LIONESS…girl that story is a hot mess! That is what I mean when I say the, “I need a man and will kick my pride, common sense, dignity and health aside” syndrome in the city is crazy!
lovelyliz
June 24th, 2009
11:32 am
If they aren’t having sex with you & yours, it’s really not any of your business.
Spoiled Lioness-
June 24th, 2009
11:34 am
Staceye- They are still together! Shyte, she has told me a BUNCH of stories.. If this Yahoo messenger could talk.. LAWD!! Some men prey on women when they KNOW that they have no one else to turn to BUT them. SAD! Make your bed, YOU lay in it!
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:34 am
@Page1908
i live in gay/dl city! smh. they’re everywhere.
but there’s nothing wrong wit that. lol.
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
11:35 am
(its kinda hard for me to say,”i phlucked her”,without explaining the process of how to get there)
Comedy.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 24th, 2009
11:36 am
Man…the stuff you hear on here makes me never want to have sex again!
Professor
June 24th, 2009
11:36 am
@Lioness I have seen stories like that one before and if you listen to Michael Baisden (sp) you hear folks calling in with all kinds of stuff when they do the show on swinging.
M'
June 24th, 2009
11:37 am
@Page
The ATL has always had one of the best kept secrets of a gay underground…it is where Little Richard started performing professionally…and the current trend of DL behavior just melded into to that pre-existing culture, so it make the ATL one of the most prevalently known, and hence visited, areas for DL encounters…several cluster STD patterns were traced to sexual activity in the ATL DL culture…from states like NC, SC and TN.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:37 am
@Lioness- There are three sides to every story..so I wouldnt base everything off of what your girl is saying
I had someone get mad at me the other day because she called me with all sorts of issues and other peoples drama..I asked why do you listen to that crap..it plants seeds i your life..I dont want to hear it..she got mad and said you must not have any friends..I said I have just a few and I like it that way..she said but what if they need to talk..I responded..with ask them if they prayed first and did God tell them to put their troubles off on you..It’s an easy way to stay drama free
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:37 am
Angie, exactly. They are everywhere, which is my point. I think people always seems to say Atlanta, because Atlanta is usually in the media more often and when that dude wrote the book on DL and went on Oprah ever since then, it’s been said that Atlanta. From what I have seen and heard DC beats Atlanta by a long shot, but because DC is hardley ever mentioned, people don’t know. Ughhh.
Grace
June 24th, 2009
11:38 am
Lioness that’ some messed up stuff! A JW rolling like that? WOW!
AmazonRed™ - Toning ↓ my sexy...
June 24th, 2009
11:39 am
i have a wonderful gay-dar sensor that hasn’t failed me yet.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:39 am
@Staceye- Hey Dusty..lol
Melo
June 24th, 2009
11:40 am
this chick has only been with 2 dudes in her entire life & she is 40
Cam,they are both suspect!
A chic that is Jehova’s Witness for sho and just got divorced and been with only 2 dudes entire lyfe thus far cannot be like that in 3 months.
These are 2 hoes who just met and like each other.
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:40 am
M’ I get that, but someone said earlier Atl is the capital. I’m saying I disagree with that. Sure, it’s prevalent but when you look at stats like this, you have to take into account the number of Black men per capita and other things, which can often skew data to appear to be something that it is not.
Beautiful
June 24th, 2009
11:40 am
just to make it clear, SWINGING isn’t a gay thing.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 24th, 2009
11:40 am
@Page- Fags will tell you that Atlanta is the Black Gay Capitol
Grace
June 24th, 2009
11:42 am
ask them if they prayed first and did God tell them to put their troubles off on you – W8 – CHUCH!
Leggs (Karyn)
June 24th, 2009
11:43 am
@Infamous, thanks for the offer to change my oil. I now know where to go to get my oil change and believe it will be done properly.
@Lioness ~ “Terry McMillan(sp?) & Star Jones puzzled the CRAP out of me!!” ME TOO! Especially, Star Jones w/all the hoopla she put around her wedding. She was the poster child who always wore “color coated glasses” because she reeked of desperation.
By asking a guy if he’s on the DL usually will not warrant a truthful answer. However, how he answers the question will say a lot!
@M ~ was thinking about you this morning. How you doing, chica?
Bruthaman
June 24th, 2009
11:44 am
@Beautifu
One Question
Page1908
June 24th, 2009
11:44 am
W8, the person earlier didn’t say Black Gay Capitol. They said Atlanta is the DL Capital. So, is San Francisco the White Gay Capital? If so, so what.
SexyCool - I'm so 3000 and 8. You so 2000 and late.
June 24th, 2009
11:44 am
Kimmie – Email me – cscfromajc@yahoo.com
THE INFAMOUS DK
June 24th, 2009
11:44 am
Beautiful – Well say that then..