Flip the script
I suppose it was inevitable that President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama would be come an iconic couple. A lot has been written about their date nights, affection towards one another in public, and the history of how they came to be.
It all brings a discussion about love, romance, and marriage, especially among African Americans that sheds some light on our attitudes. One particular article that has made its rounds on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites is from the Washington’s Post interactive site, The Root. It was entitled What Single Women Can Learn from Michelle.
Of course it doused gasoline on an already hot fire of debate between men and women, which is always annoying fun and informative. I actually thought the article made some excellent points. I just thought it would be vindictive fun and informative to flip the script a little:
What can single men learn from President Obama?
Do you think that we place too much blame on each other for the state of dating, marriage, and divorce?
Are we not all culpable when things don’t succeed?
Is it important for society to have a couple for us to believe in love and romance? Is it to give the children hope or are the grown ups clinging to the idea too?
*Note this is not an opportunity to bash First Lady Michelle Obama. Let’s keep things adult.
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970 comments Add your comment
Poppa Grande
June 23rd, 2009
10:42 am
Cee
Did you hear that the Celtics tried to get rid of Rondo? They wanted to trade him to Detroit for Stuckey. Boston is claiming that they have problems with Rondo’s maturity. Detroit declined the trade
Demigod33 (via PDA)
June 23rd, 2009
10:42 am
Page…fugg are you talking about? I havent said I’ve fugg ish in a hot hot minute…I don’t go out fuggin different women…yes I love going to strippa but not to fugg ish…yeah I love going out…now to look for any woman to fugg…not my bay…I am off the dating market…
You would know if I was fuggin and thing that move!!
Page….now go and put on your 4 inch heels and come give me a hug…you hurt my feelings will your three years old assessment of me…I’ve grown to respect myself and the women I date since then.
Page1908
June 23rd, 2009
10:42 am
Hey Angie!
LOL ARed. And everyone knows Cindy’s face is pulled every which-a-way. lol. Even my girl Nancy Pelosi seems to have had a nip/tuck here and there lol.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 23rd, 2009
10:42 am
I’m sitting here with a Jet magazine on my desk dated April 13 with Jill Scott on the cover. She says the pregnancy altered their marriage plans & that they may or may not get married. They were originally scheduled to get married in March. That came to a halt when she found out she was preggers. This is her first and his 4th.
When I read that I knew it was over.
NY2GA, Inc.
June 23rd, 2009
10:44 am
I mean the chicks most of y’all end up certainly ain’t “all that” either
@Amazonred LOL!
I was just thinking about that yesterday. My friend announced recently that he was getting married. He sent me a picture of “the one”…and…YIKES!! Well, she may not be physically attractive, but maybe her inner beauty won him over. I’m going to the wedding and making sure I wear something with an elastic waist because based on the her family pictures I’m sure there will be some smothered chicken, pulled pork, plenty to drink and a huge red velvet cake somewhere at he reception. Count me in.
Cemeeli
June 23rd, 2009
10:45 am
Boston is claiming that they have problems with Rondo’s maturity. Detroit declined the trade
PoppaG No, I didn’t hear about Rondo. Problems with his maturity?
Cemeeli
June 23rd, 2009
10:46 am
My co-worker has came by and emailed me told me i look like i’m sad.
I must have a stern look, i’m not sad today.
AmazonRed™ - Getting to my ♥ through my stomach
June 23rd, 2009
10:47 am
He sent me a picture of “the one”…and…YIKES!! Well, she may not be physically attractive, but maybe her inner beauty won him over.
NY2GA…
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 23rd, 2009
10:49 am
So does that mean that the guy is all of that because women “hate” on his choice of woman? I mean who is the judge of that? If she is to good looking then you label her as having no brain, if she doesn’t look that good then you nitpick at her for the “flaws” that you think she has? Geesh, thats the same as a man hating on another man to make himself look good. Just watch your own lane and be the best that you can be.
Demigod33 (via PDA)
June 23rd, 2009
10:49 am
yes I love going to strippa but not to fugg ish…yeah I love going out…not to look for any woman to fugg…not my style bay…I am off the dating market…
You would know if I was fuggin any thing that move!!
typing on my pda sucks
Kym- I don't wanna be like Cinderella!!
June 23rd, 2009
10:50 am
I know this..at some point in folks lives you are going to have to quit looking for someone to validate you and start stamping your own damn card. I am a nerd..hell I didn’t need Michelle Obama to validate that I can be smart, funny, sexy and wonderful any more than I need Monique or Jenny Craig to tell me how to be a size active. It is about find comfort in your own skin..and stop looking for society to put its stamp of approval on you.
Poppa Grande
June 23rd, 2009
10:51 am
Dan
Here’s the my problem with blaming Obama, like blaming Bush, Clinton, or Reagan. The President only signs legislation, he doesn’t create it. So if you have a problem with the way the government is run, quit re-electing the same Senators and Representatives – or run yourself.
That is the truth. Americans have gotten the victim role down pat.
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
10:52 am
Oprah & Gayle-
I see the trolls are out in full effect this morning!
anonymousella
June 23rd, 2009
10:52 am
i have some sincere issues with both of the root’s columns on this subject. the follow-up was a bigger pile of steaming cow poo than the original column. both of them just rehashed the oft-repeated lecture about how black women need to change in order to get a man. michelle stuck with barack when he was a community activist, but BHO had two ivy league degrees including a JD from harvard and experience as a lawyer. sh*******t, that’s merely attaching yourself to a rising star. that is NOT the same thing as sticking by a dude who says he wants to go back to school, but doesn’t apply.
so what can brothers learn from barack (assuming they want to find a woman like michelle)?
1. be smart. get an education. read a book (or some artsy-fartsy magazines). note, i did not say “be intelligent.” you can be a genius, but if you don’t have some edumacation, and ain’t expanding your mind, well what’s the point? women want to know that you have some ambition and some job options before we tie our lot up with yours.
2. be submissive. BHO runs the country, but MO runs the household. he adores her, and doesn’t try to be Man of the House. but it’s really obvious that he loves her, respects her and wants to see her happy. in return, she supports his dreams. as that crazy a** teresa guidice puts it “happy wife. happy life.” (did i really just cop to watching RHNJ in public?)
3. be funny. women who are ’bout something can sometimes be uptight. make us laugh, and you’re in. have you peeped BHO’s goofball game? shoot, MostLikelyLifePartner got me to look past his extra 50lbs of belly by making me LMAO on a regular basis. it SERIOUSLY helps that he also meets criteria #1.
4. be honest and trustworthy. you want someone smart, pretty, funny, and family-oriented, you need to act like it by showing that you are not the type to abandon your family.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 23rd, 2009
10:53 am
If i see somebody with good qualities that i admire or wld want my kids to emulate, i show them the person and tell them about her/him,white or black.
Melo – I totally agree with you on this & that’s how my parents tried to raise us, to be color-blind. What you speak of is the ideal. But what I speak of is hard, cold reality and that is that a lot of these kids coming up today are not as fortunate to have dads like you and parents like mine. The streets are raising them. Do you realize this is the first time it is considered cool to like a president & wear a picture of him on a t-shirt? A lot of these kids barely could tell you WHO was president before, much less wear him on a t-shirt. You go around and ask people at random who the governor of their state is or who is Sec of State – they can’t tell you! So like it or not, Prez Obama is an example and lucky for us, he’s a good one.
Poppa Grande
June 23rd, 2009
10:53 am
Cee
He has a rep of being immature. His relationship with Tubby Smith was really similar to Josh Smith and Mike Woodson’s relationship. That was one of the knocks against him. I thought that he was better. But with the Celtics saying this, he must have had a relapse or something.
Beautiful
June 23rd, 2009
10:54 am
@Page1908
i thought i was trippin’ and seeing things, but then i saw them again! i went in CVS yesterday, and they’re selling the halter top dresses for $19.99. remember those? lol. wth is going on? i wore those back in the 70’s. and to make the situation worse, i bought one to prance around in with my flip flops. smh.
kimmie(Sheree)
June 23rd, 2009
10:54 am
W8 – Big kisses to you today!
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
10:55 am
Melo- I grew up in the hood too,mind u but i came out of it.
So can these american kids too in the hood, if their models can be both black and white.<– Real Talk!
Melo
June 23rd, 2009
10:57 am
abc,blaming Obama for the deficit is ignorant when we are in a recession(meaning,unemployement,low tax base, and less GDP) and especially only after 6 monhts in office.
When full employment picks,GDP growth and overall industrial output picks up,the tax base increases,the deficit decreases coz govt gets more income to fund whatever and we all be merry and dandy.
The deficit talk on talk radio and tv is political and not necesarily economic sense.Its meant to incite the other rival base,thats all.
I thoght u,of all pple know better!
AmazonRed™ - Getting to my ♥ through my stomach
June 23rd, 2009
10:58 am
So does that mean that the guy is all of that because women “hate” on his choice of woman?
W8 – The men on here certainly seem to be hating on Michelle more than the women. Sad.
Leggs (Karyn)
June 23rd, 2009
10:58 am
foolish :delete:
Raqi-Loving my Beautiful Ordinary Life
June 23rd, 2009
11:01 am
That came to a halt when she found out she was preggers.
Kimmie wow. That’s a first. Pregnacy usually forces the hand in marriage rather than halt it…unless it is not “his” baby.
Melo
June 23rd, 2009
11:01 am
anonymousella, i like that!
Kimmie,i get u (the streets are raising them)
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:01 am
DEmi- I am off the dating market…<– That is what I thought too..
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:02 am
Pregnacy usually forces the hand in marriage <– This type of mess needs to STOP!
Poppa Grande
June 23rd, 2009
11:02 am
Kym
I agree with that to a point. As it relates to my life, I am with you 100%.
But my belief isn’t the only way. I know that actually seeing things can make a difference to some people. It can opens their minds to other possibilities.
For example, my parents made a point to take us on summer vacations when we were kids. Actually, seeing folks in Texas, opened my mind to more than the stereotypes that I saw on TV. Or actually seeing and meeting with Philly folks gave me a better perspective than the Santa Claus booing folks that I saw on TV. (I was a kid and it had a big impact.)
Actually seeing things can open peoples minds to other possibilities. So, I can see how the statements can be true.
Leggs (Karyn)
June 23rd, 2009
11:03 am
foolish :del:
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:03 am
Anon- :lol
@ as that crazy a** teresa guidice puts it “happy wife. happy life.”
abc
June 23rd, 2009
11:03 am
Precedence.
Dan, Presidential campaigns are all conducted by issuing promises. Obama’s no different in that regard. He promised transparency, public health care, bringing troops home. The financial collapse happened during the campaign, and is the result of policies dating back 15 years, so obviously, nobody is trying to assign blame for that to Obama. Everyone is looking to him for leadership on a fix for it. So far, not much guidance, at least, not that doesn’t sound, look and feel just like what would happen with any old body in the White House.
What it looks like to me is that the economy is shrinking and it’s going to stay shrunk. There is not a near-term solution. People are going to have lesser standards of living. 80 or more cities in the country are going to actually start bulldozing entire neighborhoods and create green space between smaller downtown areas, places like Detroit, Flint, cities in Ohio, acknowledging that steel and auto industries, along with others, simply are not going to recover. Now, how about a President that, rather than throwing huge money at problems that can’t be ‘fixed’ other than to appease the big money people, comes up with some plans that manage the economic contraction? We can’t avoid it, it’s going to happen anyway, just as sure as the sun’s coming up tomorrow.
-W8©(thoroughbred... I dont play nor hate)
June 23rd, 2009
11:04 am
@Kimmie-What’s up Dawg, how are you holding up?
Leggs (Karyn)
June 23rd, 2009
11:04 am
Blog moderator say’s I’m posting too fast. HAAAAA!
Beautiful
June 23rd, 2009
11:06 am
OBAMA clearly wasn’t basing his decision to love SHELLY on her looks. after you get to know a person, you’ll find that you are attracted to some many other things. chemistry is huge in my book and i feel it’s a big deal with OBAMA too.
abc
June 23rd, 2009
11:06 am
Melo, I didn’t say anything about deficit.
Poppa and Dan, Obama portrayed himself as one who would make a difference, and be a change. That’s why people voted for him. Now he looks like any other politician, who’d say and do about anything to gain the office.
That’s just the way it looks to me.
Page1908
June 23rd, 2009
11:06 am
Angie, yes I remember the halter dresses but they have them at CVS? Which city in Cali do you live in again?? lol
Raqi-Loving my Beautiful Ordinary Life
June 23rd, 2009
11:08 am
Lioness why does it need to stop? More than not when you hear of a couple that is already planning to marry finding out the woman is pregnant usually set the dates up and they marry a little sooner than planned. But I have never heard of finding out the woman is pregnant actually halting the marriage plans. However, unless there is a chance it is not his baby.
Raqi-Loving my Beautiful Ordinary Life
June 23rd, 2009
11:10 am
OBAMA clearly wasn’t basing his decision to love SHELLY on her looks
Why? Is it unthinkable that he actually loves/likes the way she looks?
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:10 am
Raqi- More than not when you hear of a couple that is already planning to marry finding out the woman is pregnant usually set the dates up and they marry a little sooner than planned<– This is ok but I was referring to getting married out of the clear blue sky BECAUSE the woman is pregnant.
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:11 am
I think the two of them make a GREAT lookingcouple! Frankly, I don’t like cute guys AT ALL..
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:12 am
Demi- Mail Call
M'
June 23rd, 2009
11:12 am
@kym
I do not need to rely on Michelle either for a validation of sorts…I am proud of her role in history…and she walks in a long line of historically significant Black women…amen to that…WE CAN BE and WE ARE ALREADY
Page1908
June 23rd, 2009
11:12 am
LOL, like Raqi said, why do people assume that Barack doesn’t like the way Michelle looks?
Cemeeli
June 23rd, 2009
11:13 am
Kimmie – I am hungry and sleepy today (was up til 12:45). I look cute (my coworker said) but my darn sandal straps wont stay on my ankle like they are suppose to and it’s getting on my last nerve….there again i’m soo sleepy. I need some lemonade.
need = Citrus lemon and sugear has an affect “sunshiney” affect on me.
So you need to find someones email (Leggs) and get that lemonade recipe to me girl!
Kym- I don't wanna be like Cinderella!!
June 23rd, 2009
11:14 am
PopG I am not saying my belief is the best way.. but there was this old commercial one time that said..”Seeing is believing but taste is proof.” Again for all the Obamanics out there..I am not knocking them..however seeing maybe believing but unless you make a solid effort on your own..you won’t get the proof. I was expose to alot of things as a kid..I expose my son the same way..because I know the world is vast and wide and filled with endless possiblities. But our society has become to quick to label everyone and everything and stick them all in nice neat boxes. We(because I do it too) wait for someone to come along so we can indentify and feel validated in our beliefs. I am just slowing growing away from that. I hope this makes sense..I am yawning like crazy while I type.
AmazonRed™ - Getting to my ♥ through my stomach
June 23rd, 2009
11:14 am
LOL, like Raqi said, why do people assume that Barack doesn’t like the way Michelle looks?
Yes, I think they compliment EACH OTHER quite nicely.
But you know I’m biased towards the tall couples.
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:15 am
M- I am LOVING this –>WE CAN BE and WE ARE ALREADY
Cemeeli
June 23rd, 2009
11:16 am
PoppaG Rondo having a matturity problem on the team is really throwing me for a loop. Because i never would think such.
interesting.
Spoiled Lioness- All Natural & Loving It!
June 23rd, 2009
11:17 am
Cee- What time is lunch? I am picking up lunch from California Pizza Kitchen.. I make YUMMY lemonade as well
kimmie(Sheree)
June 23rd, 2009
11:18 am
W8 – Doing pretty good. I started this Eat To Live program, where you eat big vegetable salads at every meal & lots of fruit and very little meat except fish. I am feeling good. I’m not used to eating a lot of meat as it is, but SO is a meat&potatoes guy. It was all too heavy for me & especially being summer.
Raqi – I didn’t think about that, that it might not be his. But yes, I’ve never heard of you postponing, especially so close to the wedding, because you are pregnant. From what I’ve read, doctors had told her since she was very young that she probably could never have kids and she never got preggers during her first marriage. I thought maybe he just did not want anymore kids! But yeah, maybe it might NOT be his!Hummmmh!
SexyCool - Back to being the Ambassador of Sexy and Cool
June 23rd, 2009
11:19 am
I am REALLY loving the question about responsibility in the failure of a relationship.