Free to be me
There are certain relationship milestones that women look forward to. We’re sentimental enough to relish the one year anniversary. We get giddy at the house key exchange. It’s something in our DNA that loves when a relationship reaches the next phase. What we – well, what I don’t look forward to is when our guys let it all hang out, literally.
The burping, farting, dirty jokes, or going to the bathroom in front of us. It is a romance killer sometimes. Why, I’m not sure. I remember when a guy used the bathroom at my house with the door ajar. We weren’t even to date number three! Perhaps I just prefer to keep the mystery as long as possible, but what’s wrong with that?
Ladies, at what point do you let your lady guard down? When do you feel that you are free to be “regular” around your man. When you are comfortable with a guy, do you still think it is important to retain a little of the spice that first caught his eye?
Guys, do you really notice when your girl has become comfortable around you? Do you like it when it gets to this point? How soon do you let down your guard? Are you pretty much the same as when you first meet her? Is it a turn off if you see your woman doing “human” things like burping?
Have you ever dated someone and felt that you weren’t really free to be yourself?
How much “free to be me” do you think we can really even handle in relationships?
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© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
679 comments Add your comment
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:47 pm
I remember when I lived in hawaii back in 1994 belly rings were everywhere..almost every other woman had one..then you could see the other piercings poke thru the bikini’s also
Jamoca
June 22nd, 2009
12:47 pm
I make sure that I am clean and smell good. I may not and can’t always look like I just stepped off of a runway, but I will always smell good and be clean. If a man couldn’t work with that then he couldn’t work with me.
Very good point, Raqi . I think quite a few folks have lost sight of that. Honestly, I’m not a fan of wearing makeup, but I really don’t need it. Well, I may touch up my lips, but I have naturally thick n’ long eyelashes, healthy eyebrows and a healthy completion…so unless it’s for something in particular, I’m not spreading all that mess over my face. And the times that I wear it, it’s very little.
I like natural. Classic beauty.
Don’t really do hair weaves either…of course braids are somewhat different, but I’m of course not knocking those that do. I’m glad that my hair is as thick as it is, to include the length…but ask me on a different day, and I may be a little tired of it.
The one thing that errrks me, is to see a jacked up weave. Or the woman’s natural hair is “bushy or puffy” and she has the nerve to don a bone straight pony tail. Rainbow colored hair that resembles a parakeet. Or simply weave that looks like…well a weave. If some women are going to wear them, please make it as realistic as possible, not an art project.
But honestly, if the man and I were to be making a love scene of our own…I’d be pretty turned off if wearing a weave and he goes to run his fingers through my hair, only to be caught in a track or row or sewn extensions. Mood killah off top. Cain’t do it.
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
12:48 pm
Melo – I seen your nephew in the African shop i get my hair braided.
W8 I’m not “grown n sexy” in the Wine Bar. My gf’s say they add me to the fold for added “sunshine no chaser” effect.
->> A lame that’s not mellow b/c i smile alot.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:48 pm
I have 2 tats and I am not even implying where they are if you see them you see them
East Point's Own
June 22nd, 2009
12:48 pm
Question.. why do so many celebrities(basketball players & rappers) have one color ( black ) tattoos?
If you did not get tatted in jail you should have some color in that thang… its 2009 people. How you gonna have a whole body full of black cheap looking tatts? If they are all gonna be black at least get the work done by one of the top artists in the business.. not your cousin Fred who is still learning how to use a tat gun.
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
12:48 pm
Sexy- Depends on the type of tattoos you get.. If they are small & cute, you could place them in many places without a soul knowing you have one.. I am not a fan of black ink tattoos or tattoos with your name, kids, names etc.. That is ghetto to me but to each its own..
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
12:49 pm
I had a navel ring. It closed during my prgnancy though.
AmazonRed™ - off the hook!
June 22nd, 2009
12:50 pm
but seeing other people rubbing feet should not gross you out either…
EPO – Why should I have to see that. Really, where in public should that being going down???? Other than place of business designated for it?
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:51 pm
@Ce- Hit me up, I send you to some spots in Buckhead, Midtown and Downtown..that are actully really upscale jazz bars, lounges etc..without the uppity air..and on the outside they look like a normal house if you are not in the know..but on the inside its a function business
AmazonRed™ - off the hook!
June 22nd, 2009
12:52 pm
I remember when I lived in hawaii back in 1994 belly rings were everywhere..almost every other woman had one..
W8 – When I went off to college, the fad was tongue rings. You were more unique if you DIDNT have one (I was one of em). I mean seriously they were played out by being so common.
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
12:53 pm
Jamoca My braids are a long weave (micro), and the last time i had them boo, said they were “becoming” on me. I cain’t stand to sweat in them though.
When i wear them I was my braids more than i’d wash my own hair.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:53 pm
One of my tats is full of color the other one is all black..but I did it that way for a reason..and there is a difference in black..and that black/green jailhouse color….oh yeah a little known fact is that both of my tats are done with a ink that glows in the dark
Leggs (Karyn)
June 22nd, 2009
12:53 pm
@Lioness you have 5. The rose is nice.
I can’t imagine kissing someone’s feet on a bench in public while people walk by. Well, then again, for shock value I might let him do it quickly. No telling!
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:54 pm
Tongue rings-=turn off
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
12:54 pm
I wash my braids.
See, now it’s time to eat! Why ain’t no one tell me?
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm
Everyone shouldn’t have belly rings
Melo
June 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm
Melo – I seen your nephew in the African shop i get my hair braided
Cee,u wrong for that!
U think im from sudan,nigeria,ghana or smewhere close to the equator!.
My neph is very light,so is my son thats why i was wondering.
My neph’s mum is a light skinned afr/american chic.Her grand dad is swiss.
Ur BIL is dark, i can imagine,being from westAfr.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 22nd, 2009
12:56 pm
SEXYCOOL… girl I am cracking up at you in the delivery room with you homegirl. I was in there with one of my friends and all she keep saying is, “I can’t feel my butt…am I pushing? Hey can I get some of these drugs to go”?
LURKER…I live alone…so unless I have guests…my door ia always open!
W8…OMG…buying condoms in ATL while you are with your homeboy can get you on the suspect list of those who do not know you!
EPO…the dyes in certain color can cause scarring and keloids. I have only black tats because It is the basic color and has less chance of looking nasty. Plus..I am brown…getting colors on top of that is not all that cute to me. But I love man with tattoos.
MELO…I have a navel ring, I had a tongue ring briefly. The metal in it I beleive caused a lot of sore throats so I got rid of it…and I had less after that. The man in the boat is not pierced…however I have thought about it.
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
12:56 pm
Jam- Good Read!!
W8- I’d be pretty turned off if wearing a weave and he goes to run his fingers through my hair, only to be caught in a track or row or sewn extensions. Mood killah off top. Cain’t do it.<— I could see THIS being a turn off rather than HEARING a women pee before a session..
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
12:56 pm
“Melo – I seen your nephew in the African shop i get my hair braided”
@Ce- LMAO
Melo
June 22nd, 2009
12:57 pm
Tongue rings-=turn off
So are nose rings!!
i had to tell a girl once,back in the day,to get that phluckk off her nose!
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
12:58 pm
Leggs- No rose’s on ME but thanks Mama!
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
12:58 pm
Ring peircings anywhere hurt. I don’t care what no one else tries to say differ. The guy asked me if I have keyloid skin? Then while he was interviewing me for “pain threshold”..i closed my eyes and it was over.
I had a silver hoop. My gf thought i was going to chiken out. I wore that thing for 5 years.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:00 pm
@Staceye- lol you have to buy them..but hell you just aint thinking all the time if some fag is watching you or not
@lioness-both of those are turn offs to me..hand getting caught in some weave( i give passes for summertime braids) and hearing a woman urinate
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
1:00 pm
Cee- The belly didn’t hurt because if you pinch that area, you don’t feel anything.. NOW, getting my ears pierced was a biyatch!
I would like to get my nipples pierced BUT I’ve heard that they stay hard.. Wouldn’t like that at all!
Jamoca
June 22nd, 2009
1:01 pm
Cee – Yeah, I remember seeing them. They were nice
…and exactly why I said braids are different. Ya know…it’s expected for one to have some form of extensions to either provide length/style. I miss getting braids myself. The woman that does my daughter’s (and mine as well) can braid some hair! But no matter the time, it would always take a good 7 hours to braid my hair. I had to take breaks and stretch, azz sore and sleepy since she’s usually wrapping it up by 1am.
Treas’ is getting her hair braided on the 29th. We usually tell her to put “us” on standby, because she’s usually booked for at least 3 months at a time. She’s that good. So if we’re lucky, she get someone who wants to reschedule or just unable to make it.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:02 pm
Nose rings..lol what the hell are people gypsies now?
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm
My brother in law, is blurple! (blue purple) Okay.
U think im from sudan,nigeria,ghana or smewhere close to the equator!. My neph’s mum is a light skinned afr/american chic.Her grand dad is swiss.
Melo- Oh, i forgot you’re a HOUSE kept African.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm
I can’t stand it when a owman looks like a damn comic book with to many tatts
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm
W8-
For a short while, I thought only lesbians had nose piercings..
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm
woman
East Point's Own
June 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm
Staceye scarring is caused by tattoo artisit who are not used to tattoing people of color… Keloids happen in certain people who have any type of damage to their skin no matter if its a cut or a tattoo. Granted there may be some people who are allergic to some chemicals/minerals used to color certain inks… You need to check out the web site for the City of Ink in Atlanta you will see tattoos in color on people of all skin shades. Those guys know how to tattoo black people well.
Demi
June 22nd, 2009
1:05 pm
(Pedicures are not particularly enjoyable for me.)
more like…borderline painful…not in a good way.
Melo…lots and lots of pleasures…I will leave it at that!
lioness…ummmmm
W8…you want the ladies to remember who and what…is beating them down, huh? LOL
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
1:05 pm
I had to take breaks and stretch, azz sore and sleepy since she’s usually wrapping it up by 1am.
Jamoca Girl you silly. lol @ Azz sore! hahaha
Jamoca
June 22nd, 2009
1:06 pm
LOL @ —> “owman” …it kind of read like “omen”.
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:06 pm
LOL@ MO- She is not a cat burglar..
Cemeeli
June 22nd, 2009
1:06 pm
looks like a damn comic book with to many tatts
It’s after 1 – i’m going to lunch after that..
fools proof….i tell you.
Melo
June 22nd, 2009
1:07 pm
MELO…I have a navel ring
let melo see it Mamba!
The man in the boat is not pierced…however I have thought about it
when u decide to do it,dont anybody else see it 1st except, u know who!
kimmie(Sheree)
June 22nd, 2009
1:08 pm
Sister Cee – Copper. Got lots of compliments!
Amred – We think alike. I use the same kind of wipes.
W8 – Yeah, ready for some football!(college football)
Spoiled Lioness- Referring My Man To Nitpickers Anonymous
June 22nd, 2009
1:09 pm
Cee- Oh, i forgot you’re a HOUSE kept African.<–
A tattoo artist isn’t just a tattoo artist? WOW!! A dude from Hawaii drew & tattoo’d all of mine and I had no problem.. I even had two done back to back..
AmazonRed™ - off the hook!
June 22nd, 2009
1:09 pm
When I went off to college – I got a tattoo, my dad flipped out.
(she only wore small studs, not hoops)
When my sister went off to college she got a nose ring. Mom flipped out and said it looked like a pimple.
Melo
June 22nd, 2009
1:12 pm
Melo- Oh, i forgot you’re a HOUSE kept African
CEE, u are a phool.
No wonder u afri/americans had beef onetime tween the lights and real dark nikkas.Some nikkas are so dark u can tell they were the real hard,outside share croppers,toiling in the sun, while others grannies and grand dads did the house chores,no wonder disparity in blackness.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 22nd, 2009
1:12 pm
W8..sometimes I will wear a weave to let my hair rest from the heat styling. It is how I keep my hair healthy. Now today I have it blown straight. I know I will get a weave within the next month. Of ocurse I have a crap load of wigs and hair pieces for my costume changes. I had black hair yesterday…courtesy of a lace front wig.
MELO…you so nasty!
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:13 pm
@Demi-lol no my tats have special meaning and I just thought the glow in the dark in was cool..lol
@Jam- lol
@Ce-to many tatts is not coll..lol I tell some women you look like a damn comic book..lol
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:13 pm
coll=cool
Kym-10 days and counting!!!
June 22nd, 2009
1:14 pm
I have one tattoo it is in color..the fellow who did it did a nice job. Not sure I understand the whole neck tat..it looks borderline Aryan brother hood to me.
Not into piercings. Nose or anything else.
Melo
June 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm
Melo…lots and lots of pleasures…I will leave it at that
okkkkkkay.
Sme tells me u got lots of mileadge on ur wang Demi.That means u cant have Lioness,shes still green and i dont want u to take advantage of her and pimp her to ur gross advantage!
Demi
June 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm
(Melo- Oh, i forgot you’re a HOUSE kept African.)
HAHAHAHA…HAHAHAHAHAHA
w8…some women look cute with those small nose rings…so so sexy…and will the right look…with a upper lip ring too!
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:15 pm
@Staceye- the devil wears a weave?
-W8©
June 22nd, 2009
1:16 pm
Demi- you did not blog about your trup to Club Donkey Booty on Friday…how did it go?