Because He Kept Me Off the Pole
Sunday is Father’s Day, a rare day when some men get as good as they give. If you are fortunate enough to have a father that is still here, I urge you to spend time with him. If that is not possible then I think a card or phone call can go a long way!
I am so thankful for my Father, for always being there for me. He has been such a great example of what a good man is. I remember listening to comic Chris Rock joke about being a father to his daughters and the importance of being a good dad: I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole. I mean they don’t grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you messed up.
I love my Dad because he’s kept me off the pole and kept me from doing outrageous things to a man on a dance floor (I’m still in disbelief, sorry). I love my dad because he is always supportive, loves me unconditionally, and has always been there for me. In a lot of ways, I think he has set the standard for my relationships with men.
Ladies, why do you love your father? What has he taught you about dating, relationships, and men?
If you are dating a single dad, do you plan to celebrate Father’s day with him? Do you show him that you admire him for being a wonderful father?
Guys, do you have daughters? What kind of lessons do you think they should learn about men? Have you ever dated a woman who had “Daddy Issues?” or was not raised with a father in the home? How did you handle it?
How do you think our relationships with our fathers impact our dating and relationship habits?
To all our readers who are fathers HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!
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643 comments Add your comment
kimmie(Sheree)
June 19th, 2009
10:51 am
Good morning good blog people!
Well I was missing in action on the blog yesterday due to attending lil cuz’s funeral. Never want to have to go to a child’s funeral again! But it was a beautiful service. Both the brother’s & a few small cousins even spoke. The oldest brother got up and was incredible-he had everyone in tears & a standing ovation. Everybody in the family had boys and one of the aunts got up and assured everyone that they were doing fine and they were raising some strong young men. It was evident too, how TOGETHER everyone was and FIRMLY rooted in the Lord. W8, the dad is a Kappa, so your brothers were in full effect yesterday. Very impressive! The music was great and uplifting. His middle name was the same as the first name of my brother that passed. Just a tough day.
Imma comment on the topic on my next post, cause if yall didn’t know it already from past posts, I adored my Daddy!
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
10:51 am
@Tazzee- GNR equates to LOL ..GNR means Gotta N(word) Rolling
kimmie(Sheree)
June 19th, 2009
10:51 am
Dang Amred, same thing with me about the first french kiss!LOL!!!
Page1908
June 19th, 2009
10:52 am
LOL ARed. Well, it’s never been an issue for me. I’m bi-racial, so it doesn’t bother me at all.
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
10:52 am
@Kimmie- HUGS!!
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
10:52 am
Hey Professor, did you get your yogurt this morning? I am eating mine as I type
SexyCool - Yeah - I got that 'Drake' status.
June 19th, 2009
10:52 am
Taz – GNR – I received an announcement via text a few days ago. It read as follows:
Attn: All Black People
Going forward, we will discontinue the use of LOL. Instead, we will now begin using GNR – Gotta Negro Rollin’! Use will be implemented immediately.
Mo (aka Moeisha-counting down to the haircut!!)
June 19th, 2009
10:53 am
W8 – wow are you serious???
SexyCool – I hear ya on that ‘Drake’ status!! LOL!
Page1908 – you should’ve scooped ole boy up! LOL
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
10:53 am
Sexy- Thx
3rd- I was in that SAME situation.. RUN!!
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
10:54 am
I remember being a little girl and him taking me out to Nathan’s for hotdogs on Saturdays and we’d sit in the booth together and talk.
N2GA – With my Dad and I, it was ice cream. That’s what we’d bond over.
The last time I saw my mom (a few months ago). She was like “let’s go get some ice cream.” And I told her “no” because I only go for ice cream with Dad.
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
10:55 am
Was is that exactly?
Lioness – Probably not, I’m just not into white guys.
But it certainly didn’t help matters.
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
10:56 am
Ared- No you didn’t
M'
June 19th, 2009
10:56 am
Just got off the phone with pops…now, that is and always has been my main dude…salt of the earth…it is so funny, for years whenever my pops would come to visit me in the ATL there was a ready made fan club of ppl (mostly male acquaintances) lining up to meet him…and yes, there is no doubt thathe sets the standard of what my spoiled arse wants with regard to certain qualities in a man…now, if I could just get over the uniform issue…seems like I am a sucker for a fine Black man in a uniform…given that pops always looked good in his…hmmm, yeah…my child’s father is a cop too…lol
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
10:56 am
On the French Kiss thing..when the heck did women start getting extra aggressive with their tongues and teeth..right off the bat.
W8(going in for the goodnight peck)
Her:(shoving tongue down my throat licking my lips, face, biting my lip)
W8(thinking to myself I feel violated, like a piece of meat,maybe i have been off the dating scene to long)
Her(just looking at me)
W8:(just standing there dumbfounded and says very awkwardly”umm, Bye”)
Raqi
June 19th, 2009
10:57 am
Today is Friday and I am not exactly sure what we are doing for Father’s Day. Maybe we will go to breakfast some where. Maybe I’ll make breakfast myself. It will only be Mason, the baby and myself this year.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 19th, 2009
10:57 am
LAWD have mercy I could spew a crap load of venom about bio-dad..aka sperm-donor. But my dad (stepdad)hase been a great dad to me. I love the kooky relationship we have. I call him Gremlin…he calls me Troll. He treats me as if I were his own. He dang near had a coronary when he found out that at 21 that I was no longer a virgin!
“A successful guy once told me that if you meet a woman and she dosen’t respect her father….run…” That is easy for that man to say. Nobody can judge why somebody doesn’t care for their parents. You do not know what said person has done to them. Just because you let loose a nut and help made me does not make you special nor does it give you a free pass to be an a$$ and all if forgiven. Respect is earned…I don’t give a *&%^ who you are! Any fool can make a baby..sad to say it does not require testing, a license or a degree. But it’s the person who takes care of you that deserves the respect. So a person should not be judged on whether they are a doormat for horrible parent. Just because one has functional reproductive organ does NOT mean they need to you them.
anonymousella…I can’t identify with you…except the codependent thing. It made me more of a loner with a “F” the world mentality.
DEEVA…”not in a clingy type way but always searching for assurance that I’m loved and cared for.” I think I used to be that way…but after dealing with eough Jack-holes…I am the complete opposite. If I feel you are getting to close…i get annoyed and will bolt. Do not try that you love me crap. I wil lNOT get used to your false sense of admiration. We all know it’s here today and gone tomorrow with the first piece of a$$ that comes your way! So please….spare me the process of the game playing. Boy chases girl….boy get’s girl…girl falls in love…boy breaks girl’s heart then calls her crazy because she actually believe what he told her. Boy get’s Oscar for the role of the Typical Man! El Fin!
W8….Sexycool can tell you…he got no play with me. I shook his hand and sent him packing. All het got out of me was what Demi told him…my name and where I was from!
FOR REAL was trying to pimp me for drinks….ok just because I got you guy free drinks last time does not mean there are always nice guys around! Next time…i got you boo!
LIONESS…you left so quickly I didn’t even see you go. I turned my head for one second….girl I’ma get you!
MO..I need a Pepsi…STAT! You got one?
LEGGS..I was waiting for you to drop it on W8..or table dance for us!
PAGE….tried to smother For Real with her “Rack”!
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
10:57 am
Page – I didn’t know you were a swirl. Which parent is white?
ThirdWheelWTH?
June 19th, 2009
10:57 am
I am a female….
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
June 19th, 2009
10:58 am
This is a sensitive subject for me. My father died when I was seven (he was twenty-nine). I was the oldest child and frankly my childhood ended that day. My mom remarried three years later and I was never close to my stepfather and all I ever knew from then on was chores, whippings, and an intense desire to get the hellz out.
When I became a father, I made the decision then and there to ALWAYS be involved in my children’s lives, and I did. All three of my children were heavily involved in sports and other extracurricular activities, and I went to almost every game, almost every practice, coached them in sports, etc. Part of it was regaining my own lost childhood and I am not proud of that…but I was ALWAYS involved.
I feel for so many of the ladies on this blog. Over the last three years or so, I have come to pick up bits and pieces of the backgrounds, and in addition to trying to raise a child without his/her birthfather, there is so much that the child loses if he/she does not have that father for support, guidance, and validation. That is often/usually/maybe always carried with that child.
No one has a perfect childhood, but I have nothing but contempt for men who are only “sperm donors” not fathers. They need to “man up” and do the right thing. If their pecker was present at the conception, then they are responsible.
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
11:00 am
Ared- LMAO @ what I typed cause I didn’t mean that..
I think I am @ work too early & the fact that I NEVER go into work on Friday’s doesn’t help either..
I meant to type: What is a French Kiss exactly?
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:00 am
Ared- No you didn’t
Didn’t what, Lioness?
Cemeeli
June 19th, 2009
11:00 am
Somebody doing the swirl got arrested on 285 lastnight?
What were you all doing?
….is it lunchtime?
Kym -in honor of Friday will call a cease fire.
June 19th, 2009
11:00 am
FATHER’S DAY CARDS FOR LOSERS
Once a year we celebrate the men in our lives…the man that watch us take our first steps and gush all swollen with pride. But not you daddy oh no, you were in the wind. When I took my steps, learn to ride a bike, you were off around the bend. But its Father’ Day and so I have to give thanks for the little thangs you do. So here’s to the guy who knockup my mom on the fly, and made her cry boo-hoo.
Happy Father’s Day!!–since I am here–apparently you are not impotent after all.
Happy Father’s Day!! This card cost more than my mom’s last child support payment.
For My Father’s Day!!-My mom made me get you this card. Hope you choke on it.
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
11:00 am
@Page and Mo- Those white guys that were sitting next to us were trying to hit on yall…Did you see the look I gave him for his pickup line…”you ladies let me know if this guy is not treating you right:..lmao…I looked at him like who the eff are you..
LMAO@Staceye and her anti-man self…when we all were walking out of barley’s in a group..this dude stopped stace and was talking to her and looking at her earrings..by the time the rest of us caught up to her I grabbed her arm and said in a loud deep voice”I’m sick of taking your azz out and you start acting up” and then i yanked her and pulled her out..you should have seen everyones face..while the crew just laughed..lmao
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:02 am
On the French Kiss thing..when the heck did women start getting extra aggressive with their tongues and teeth..right off the bat.
W8 – I’ll venture a guess…the lonely desperate ones? Maybe they haven’t been with a man in a while?
Cuz, I don’t know nuffin bout that. I definitely follow the man’s lead when it comes to the kiss (until I’ve got to put the brakes on
)
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:02 am
Lioness – You don’t know what a french kiss is?
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
11:02 am
Staceye- Hey mamasita
I did wave to you & W8 when I was pulling off 
Raqi
June 19th, 2009
11:03 am
To hold on to a grudge from years past is wasted energy.
Page1908
June 19th, 2009
11:04 am
ARed, I’m not a white swirl I am a Black and Puerto Rican swirl. Mom is Black, dad is PR.
Staceye lol, baby got back and baby got rack. lmao.
Beautiful
June 19th, 2009
11:04 am
Happy Birthday Cancers!
(KYM, WISE, TRUTH, and ME of course)
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
11:06 am
W8- I like to control the kissing session because I don’t like to get slobbered.. Some men are very sloppy when they kiss. I like to be kissed ever so gently, slight bit of tongue, & a little lip nibbling.. All what you mentioned is what your girl does to YOU??? Goodness SON!
Ared- I sure don’t
I thought a kiss was just a kiss
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:06 am
Happy Father’s Day!! This card cost more than my mom’s last child support payment.
I. AM. DEAD.
Cemeeli
June 19th, 2009
11:07 am
Kym Father’s Day cards are hilarious.
Spoiled Lioness- Loving Life!
June 19th, 2009
11:07 am
Page- Can you cook? I LOVE PR food!
Raqi- I agree! To hold onton anything more than a day is retarded to me too
Page1908
June 19th, 2009
11:08 am
W8- Those white dudes were talking with me and Mo before you came in. He almost poked me with his stick and I gave him a hard time (no pun intended lol), so he said he would buy me and Mo some drinks for our troubles lol
SexyCool - Yeah - I got that 'Drake' status.
June 19th, 2009
11:08 am
Reading all this father ish has me feeling all melancholy and ish…check this:
I mourn for a little girl
Trapped deep inside of me.
A little girl with no mother or father
And no identity.
I feel for a little girl
Mistreated and abused.
She had to make her own way.
She’s no longer lost or confused.
I weep for a little girl
who was never loved enough.
But somehow it made her strong
And taught her to be tough.
I have mad love for a little girl.
She grew up beautifully.
You see, I know her well
For the little girl is me.
Page1908
June 19th, 2009
11:10 am
Lioness yes I can cook, I cook a lot actually, but mostly mexican food or puerto rican food.
Tazzee (Linda) - countdown to NFL season
June 19th, 2009
11:10 am
Got it.
Kym’s Fathers Day Cards – GNR! hmm, lets see if this works :gnr:
Cemeeli
June 19th, 2009
11:10 am
@ Lioness – You’ve been tagged.
Tazzee (Linda) - countdown to NFL season
June 19th, 2009
11:11 am
headed to Sweet Tomatoes for lunch – Yay me!!!
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:11 am
Lioness – Kisses with tongue are referred to as “french kisses.”
Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara
June 19th, 2009
11:14 am
KYM…girl I wish I had those cards. I woudl have mailed them all to dat LOOZA!
W8…..I am gonna kick your a$$ for that!
All I could do was laugh because I wasn’t expecting it.
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
11:14 am
Once we left lastnight i was in full work hunter killer mode..I noticed the girl in the suv sitting low and the two dudes in the monte carlo a space away from the girl in the suv pointing the other direction..and I saw them all crouch down when we started walking. Mo that way I asked you about4 times where your car was. I didnt want to make yall nervous..And Page thats why i asked why you were on the passenger side of your car and not going to the drivers side..once yall got in your cars. Staceye and I walked to our cars that were about 800ft from yall. I noticed the guys in the car creeping up behind us..I told Staceye to get in front of me and keep walking(which she did thanks) she asked why I said those two guys in the car are coming up on us..she kept walking I turned around to face them they hit the brakes and reversed..I thought that was it..later on on the hwy what do I notice beside me..that same monte carlo..I fall back I start checking with everyone who walked out with me they made it home safely..I run their tags..they have some serious warrants tied to that car..I trail give locations and tail them..Ga State Patrol comes flying up in about 5 minutes..guys got arrested and are being questioned on some more things now..lesson learned always be aware of your surroundings. The odd part is that I made about an hour pit stop when I left Barley’s but yet they were still following after that.
Cemeeli
June 19th, 2009
11:15 am
French kissing in the A = “tonguin’”…
kimmie(Sheree)
June 19th, 2009
11:16 am
W8/Staceye – Dang, I wish I could have been there to see that!
W8 – Thank dawg, hugs back! I need them, it was really something else yesterday!
On yesterday’s topic – I love my SO’s kids to death, as if they were my own. We are bonding nicely and I would be honored to be their stepmom.
Today’s topic – My daddy was an important influence in my life. I was a mama’s girl, but daddy had a quiet, powerful presence. He was a man’s man, very professional and respected in his career and old school. He liked dirty jokes, jazz and was very humble. He cared about his community. In his younger days, my dad actually could have “passed”, but he was a true brother. His dad died when he was 3, so he never knew him, but he followed in his footsteps professionally and he had 3 strong older brothers that were impressive in their own right.
He took care of us and was always there for us and the whole family. He used to buy all the ladies in the house a red foil heart box of candy for Valentines and put it on our bed the night before! He’d give my mom some flowers too the next day. He loved good food and after mom died, I loved cooking for him. He loved sports, especially football, in fact that was the reason why he agreed to let me go to UGA and not Spelman like my mom wanted!
I miss him dearly.
-W8©(Spaceships don't come equipped with review mirrors)
June 19th, 2009
11:17 am
@Lioness- No, I was just seeking some insight from past dating experiences..I dont mind intense kisses I am talking about right of the bat
**my post may not reflect current events in my life**
@Staceye- LMAO!!!
AmazonRed™
June 19th, 2009
11:17 am
The odd part is that I made about an hour pit stop when I left Barley’s
Cemeeli
June 19th, 2009
11:18 am
Wow W8! I’m so happy nothing happen to any of you all! That is some crazy stuff.
Raqi
June 19th, 2009
11:21 am
Yall talking about kissing??? Why??? Did your daddy’s never teach you that kissing leads to other things???
Page1908
June 19th, 2009
11:21 am
Yeah, W8, I noticed the dudes and the girl in the SUV, too. Man, you are on it. Thanks for making sure we all got home safely. That was nice of you. I was behind Mo and I saw Staceye on the side of me once we all got on the freeway. You know, my dad is a San Diego County Sherrif Deputy, so for years when I still lived in Cali, my tags were blocked so no one could run them. Whenever I would get pulled over, the cop would always try to run my tag but it would never come up. They would be like “ok either you work in law enforcement or your parents work in law enforcement”. At the time I was working at the Correctional Facility too, so that is another reason why my tags were blocked.