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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Love them like my own

NFL player Tom Brady has a child from a previous relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan. When Brady dated his then girlfriend Giselle Bundchen, I remember reading a comment from Bundchen about Brady’s son:

“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.”

Now I thought it was a noble and endearing perspective to take, but after talking to a couple of real parents, it seemed to strike a nerve. If you have children, wouldn’t you want the person your ex is dating (seriously) to care for your child as if they were your own?

Have you ever dated someone with children and became close to their children? Did it cause a problem with their parent because you were too close?

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who treated your children like their own? Isn’t that a little litmus test to see if the person is compatible to you and your kids, since you are a package deal?

Is there a line that one should not cross when it comes to dealing with someone who has children in terms of parenting them? What would you say are the boundaries? Do you set those ground rules with your significant other and their children?

603 comments Add your comment

Alvin

June 18th, 2009
2:52 pm

For Real…sad thing though…I am like that even when I am at the Boys and Girls club…folks be like…don’t fugg with kids under Alvin’s care…li’dude is the truth!!

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
2:52 pm

I have no problem spoiling myself.. Actually, I almost ALWAYS do :mrgreen: Can’t help that I am SUCH a DESERVING person **shrugs**

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
2:54 pm

@Cee- get him floor seats to the Atlanta Dream game so he can sit there and wathc thos tall women run back and forth with the sweat glistening all over their baaaaaaawdddddiess..mmm hmmmm

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
2:55 pm

Mytwo- You are soooooo FUNNY!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Page1908

June 18th, 2009
2:56 pm

THE INFAMOUS DK

June 18th, 2009
2:58 pm

PG – I limit my time in the Hollywood spots. I like the underground spots that aint hot yet. The ones that have a nice sensible crowd and everybody knows how to act. Now when I start seeing pants around ankles, Bandanas and bling(generic or real), I usually find me a new spot.

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
2:58 pm

LOL every year my daughter asked me what I want for Fathers day /bday/xmas…ever since she was a baby I have always replied with a big hug amd a kiss on the cheeks and on those days I get them..that lil convo is or thing..lmao..so the other day she asked me and I say Filet Mignon and Steak..she paused and laughed cuz she remembered thats what she asked for the last time she and I went out on a date..lmao..she said okay Dad, I got money…I love that lil girl…I aint going to let her pay but i am darn sure going to get my hug and kiss…

mytw♥cents...the most beautiful

June 18th, 2009
2:59 pm

SEXYCOOL I wanna go to the place you had your birthday party last year. I heard they have skating but couldn’t verify. Reminds me to order my purty skates. Lemme find a reason I deserve the treat.

W8 Me nub u too, sucka! Now shhhh

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:00 pm

barley’s is crowded on weekends..how is it during the week?

For Real Ballwood

June 18th, 2009
3:01 pm

Page: “It’s just funny when some women spew “I’m an INDEPENDENT WOMAN”, then contradict themselves by saying “I’M SPOILED”.” – Real talk right there!!

“I owe you an a$$ whipping for that skit from last year…I will try to leave you with 9 balls on the table…and if I am semi-drunk…you may not get off a shot” – For Real now throwing sand on the floor and starts doing the ritual “Tap Dance” for a challenge in front of Alvin.

Cee: Dayumm!!! Too funny!

PG: I read about that this morning but I have never been to Lucky I couldn’t get pass the $20 for parking.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:01 pm

Thanks folks.

ForReal and PoppaG My girl friend thanks you all for the great ideas. She is lurking.

She’s shy, but the sistah is bank! Lol…I ain’t mad at her.

My boo gets a card. :wink:

SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.

June 18th, 2009
3:02 pm

MyTwo – we were at MetroBowl, which is connected to MetroSkates, which is connected to MetroFitness, formerly Run and Shoot on Metropolitan, formerly Stewart Ave. (I keeps it hood – gnr!)

THE INFAMOUS DK

June 18th, 2009
3:02 pm

Oh and one more thing on the fathering.. If you got kids but you do more for somebody elses chillren than you do for your own you dead wrong. Thats what a lot of cats do get all enamered with the new chicka and forget their responsibilities they already have.

Poppa Grande

June 18th, 2009
3:03 pm

W8

Speaking of the Dream. Chamique Holdsclaw is an old friend of mine. She is now on the Dream.

I gave my little sister a signed t-shirt from the 1996 Tenn. Vol. National Championship team.
My sis went on to play basketball for Syracuse in the fall of 96.

I had tickets to the opening game of this season but gave them away.

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:04 pm

Page- “It’s just funny when some women spew “I’m an INDEPENDENT WOMAN”, then contradict themselves by saying “I’M SPOILED”.” <– What doesn ONE have to do with the OTHER?

I LOVE IT!! Keep it coming :mrgreen:

Jamoca

June 18th, 2009
3:04 pm

sigh…skimming through

As for “dating” …pleeeaaassse what’s that??? But honestly, the answer is absolutely NOT. There is no reason for someone that I’m simply interested in and vice versa for them to meet my daughters AT ALL. Come to think of it, it’s been many moons since my daughters have seen ANY man (besides family), walk through my door, especially since they already know by that move alone, would definitely mean it’s the real deal….but even then, I would suggest different location for such an introduction. Which is another reason why I refer to stay in my own “circle”. Since there will be occasions that one must be able to relate, without a whole lot of explanation, insecurities, and second guessing.

Again…I’ve stated my daughters have no contact with their “other halves,” and that’s unfortunate enough as it is, but from where I sit, it is in their best interest that the decision was made. I’m not one for the in & out relationship, since I know first hand what that kind of thing does to a child. My thing is, you’re either in their life or you are not. There is no in between. So when I began to notice the trend years ago, as their mother I put a stop to it. Not one for confrontations, battling or any misunderstandings that can easily escalade into more serious matters. But at some point, someone has/must take the reins —> for the sake of the child(ren). And that is where I am…that is where I’ve been for some time now.

And for the record, I know exactly who and what I am in this equation. I am their mother. Simply put. However, if I see there is a need I will do my best to fulfill it and give it all that I have. Be it “the man’s job or not” – there is a need. No time to blow smoke and pity because of an absent parent. There is a need. Fulfill it.

Does this make me a superwoman? Do I proclaim to the mountain top that I am in fact “that superwoman? No.

But I will say this: I refuse to be or allow myself to feel inadequate and/or belittled for giving my daughters the best that I’ve got. This is not a competition. IMO, it’s survival of the fittest by making due with whatever resources you have. Sure, I have plenty family to extended family. And I’ve long ago come to the realization that it does not compare..even still…to not having their father(s) as an active role in their lives. Hmph, truth be told, little girls need their fathers just as badly…for he is/would be the very first relationship she has ever had with a man…sure there are certain things I can “tell” …but he’d be the better candidate for “showing” her. And although I am a woman, and I’m raising young ladies myself…sure theirs a plethora of issues that I can relate to, but then there are others that would be interpreted better or rather efficiently from a father figure.

However, I refuse to dwell on such an unfortunate fact with such wasted energy. For it is also my duty to show them how to carry on and make the best of a bad situation. Life is full of them. However, it’s no excuse to allow such things to define who you are. We still have a responsibility to make the best decisions possible, no matter the cards we’re dealt.

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:07 pm

@PG- I love Womens BBall and Women’s Vball for reasons that I will not post on here

janellscloset

June 18th, 2009
3:07 pm

Cemeeli that was funny.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Men are har to shop for.

Don’t let Cemeelii fool you all she is a great person. I simply love her.

Thank you.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

W8 – I’m going to WNBA games too if he get those tickets. And no sitting next to the players. You silly.

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

Jcloset- I agree she reads like a WONDERUK person! Can’t wait to meet her :)

Being spoiled means that you aren’t independent??

Melo

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

Now when I start seeing pants around ankles, Bandanas and bling(generic or real), I usually find me a new spot.

So DK/PG,uall afr/american men,is bandanas,saggy pants and neck tats just a juvenile thang,a gang thang,a hood thang or an ill informed youth thang or an afr/american societal thang??

Whats ur take?

As a pure breed african,ofcourse some thangs to me are askance but i wanna understand from ur perspective,assuming uall afr/american.
Thnx

THE INFAMOUS DK

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

Janellscloset – Well if you love Ce, I bet you wont kiss her. Hold up for a minute until I get there though..

Had to get you cause that sounded so “Happy”

Thank you.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

Janell!

Hey you!

For Real Ballwood

June 18th, 2009
3:09 pm

Cee dude talking to his boys……

Cee Dude: What fellas, check it my girl got us some spa passes!!!

Fellas: What?

CD: Yeah spa passes my nizzel. We gon be ballin up in there!!

Fellas: We going with our ladies?

CD: Nawwwww boy it’s the crew!

Fellas: Magic City got a spa now!!!

CD: Naw man dey ain’t got no spa. It’s Spa Seyedell…

Fellas: You know how I know you gay?

Poppa Grande

June 18th, 2009
3:10 pm

DK

I limit my time in the Hollywood spots.

I do too. I haven’t been to Luckie yet.

I live less than two miles from the place. I am a fan of places where I can just chill. I will give them credit, you can’t tell that it was auto repair place just a few years ago. They didn’t tear down the building, they worked it out.

For Real

The $20 parking thing kinda erks me, too. Rays on the River is nicer and they don’t charge that kind of money.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:11 pm

DK – Now how you gonna me ME twisted?

Page1908

June 18th, 2009
3:11 pm

Lioness, what? That’s my opinion. If you don’t agree with it, then it’s really fine, really. Like I already mentioned, to ME it’s an oxymoron.

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:12 pm

Hey Janel and Ce are about to kiss?

@Melo- When I see that I know it’s not my environment. I see it as a youth thing..I don’t know why adult males do it

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria :-)

June 18th, 2009
3:12 pm

I love Womens BBall and Women’s Vball for reasons that I will not post on here

Hmmm…that’s one or two of the reasons I like to watch the NBA and NFL ;) :mrgreen:

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:14 pm

awww…

ForReal – How bout Janell was gonna send him to Spa Sydell for real!?!?! I voted NO!

She meant well.

Melo

June 18th, 2009
3:14 pm

but the sistah is bank
meaning CEE??

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:14 pm

LMAO@For Real-3:09 You just don’t do somethings with fellas..I get manicures..i am comfortable with that but that is nothing I would go do with the fellas..lol

ON the Independent spoiled thing…I dont care if a womoan is that way..just don’t try and hold me to your standard or keep telling me..I dont give a fudge..I give from my heart.

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria :-)

June 18th, 2009
3:16 pm

Being spoiled means that you aren’t independent??

Lioness I was wondering the same thing b/c I get called that often BUT I’m like if it’s ME spoiling ME then why are YOU hatin’…cause that’s what it really sounds like pure-d-hateration in this nation….

Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara

June 18th, 2009
3:16 pm

POPPA…I gave my dad a $50 BP card and he loved it…you know since gas in NY is Ri-d#mn-diculous!

PAGE..I am spoiled because I spoil myself! :lol: I just got back from the mall…bought a thing during a lunch time break! And at least I know why I spoil myself…I don’t have anybody thinking that I owe them anything because they bought me something. No thanks. I will get it myself and take pride when I wear it because I bought it.

W8….your father’s day is going to be great!

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:16 pm

Page- I didn’t mean to type your name AT ALL!

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:16 pm

@Sassy- I was at a womans Volley Ball game when I was married and living in Hawaii..I got elbowed in the gut by my then wife..she goes Don’t look at them like that ..that is the look that you give me when we are…….lmao

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
3:16 pm

I read about that this morning but I have never been to Lucky I couldn’t get pass the $20 for parking.

Been there, done it.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba AKA Xiomara

June 18th, 2009
3:17 pm

POPPA…I gave my dad a $50 BP card and he loved it…you know since gas in NY is crazy!

PAGE..I am spoiled because I spoil myself! :lol: I just got back from the mall…bought a thing during a lunch time break! And at least I know why I spoil myself…I don’t have anybody thinking that I owe them anything because they bought me something. No thanks. I will get it myself and take pride when I wear it because I bought it.

W8….your father’s day is going to be great!

AmazonRed™

June 18th, 2009
3:17 pm

Since we’re talking about pampering and gifts and all…

What kind of day do you plan for a guy here in ATL. He lives in DC but is in town and will be turning 35 while he’s here.

And no, black cake is not an option! :lol:

Poppa Grande

June 18th, 2009
3:18 pm

Melo

So DK/PG,uall afr/american men,is bandanas,saggy pants and neck tats just a juvenile thang,a gang thang,a hood thang or an ill informed youth thang or an afr/american societal thang??

Its an immature thang to me. Most kids aren’t gangbangers. So are, but most aren’t. Most kid’s want it because it is what they see their hip hop folks wearing and they think that it is cool.

It was like when I was in high school and everyone had to have a starter jacket or cross colors. Or when I was even younger, the fat boy laces in the addidas (Thanx to Run/DMC). Kangols with LL Cool J. The list goes on and on.

Most of the kids are just emulating what they see.

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:18 pm

Ifa woman is spoiled and independent that is fine..I just dont want to hear how you spoil yourself…you dont need to tell me for validation…hell good for you keep spoiling yourself..save me some money

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:18 pm

W8- Thank the LAWD!!

Sassy- Shyte, I am VERY independent & I am spoiled SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. I think only the people who haven’t EVER been spoiled in their lives feel so passionately about other people being spoiled :) I don’t hate, I congratulate ;)

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:19 pm

Ared- Birthday Sex

For Real Ballwood

June 18th, 2009
3:20 pm

Melo: That’s just young boys trying to fit in to what the young ladies like and since the young ladies like rappers well you get it. My son tried it one day and I snatched he jeans over his head.

Janel and Cee are kissing. Let me get my backup cameraphone battery!

Melo

June 18th, 2009
3:20 pm

janellscloset,u shopping for ur man and were asking for suggestions??
missed that.

Wld have asked u for his age.If he 55/60 :arrow: get him a pack of cialis/viagra,u do good on the day. :lol:

Younger,get him the spa treatment thang like the guys suggested,when he comes home,hes ready to go .
Merry father’s Day!

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
3:20 pm

@Staceye-Yup Sunday will be a great day..lil man will be with his mom somewhere..me and the princess will be at Church first the dinner aftewards…then I have to come see you and my sister dance…you didnt tell her I was coming did you?

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:22 pm

Page1908

June 18th, 2009
3:23 pm

Ummmmmmmm ok, like I said earlier, MY definition of being spoiled is obviously different from others. LOL @ hatin on that. Seriously? DO YOU!

Melo

June 18th, 2009
3:23 pm

He lives in DC but is in town and will be turning 35 while he’s here.

Is he ur guy,are u eyeing him or wanna send a message to that effect or he is jus a friend(thats a song by the way)??

Lioness- No Clouds In My Stones

June 18th, 2009
3:23 pm

Melo- LMAO!! I had to post twice cause you ARE a FOOL!