Love them like my own
NFL player Tom Brady has a child from a previous relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan. When Brady dated his then girlfriend Giselle Bundchen, I remember reading a comment from Bundchen about Brady’s son:
“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.”
Now I thought it was a noble and endearing perspective to take, but after talking to a couple of real parents, it seemed to strike a nerve. If you have children, wouldn’t you want the person your ex is dating (seriously) to care for your child as if they were your own?
Have you ever dated someone with children and became close to their children? Did it cause a problem with their parent because you were too close?
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who treated your children like their own? Isn’t that a little litmus test to see if the person is compatible to you and your kids, since you are a package deal?
Is there a line that one should not cross when it comes to dealing with someone who has children in terms of parenting them? What would you say are the boundaries? Do you set those ground rules with your significant other and their children?
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603 comments Add your comment
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
1:47 pm
Kelly- Sorry for your situation! Question: Did you know all this before you had children?
Cemeeli
June 18th, 2009
1:48 pm
PoppaG/Fellow Bloggers
Does anyone remember the name of the Spa for men that has the sports theme?
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
1:48 pm
DK- Huh? Are you saying if the DUDE disrespect you or your child?
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
1:49 pm
Random Words of Wisdom – You can’t be big and small at the same time.
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
1:49 pm
@ Lioness I agree with that 1:38 post…I want to stay together forever and not deal with the drama, I don’t want what Chrisette Michele calls “typical American shady love.”
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
1:49 pm
For REal- Just be appreciative for WHATEVER you get!
Vick
June 18th, 2009
1:51 pm
Professor
I wanted us to date and build something but she wants just talk and see how it goes. I am not feeling right about that rout(tell me if I am wrong) but she talking to her guy, me talking to my girl and us talking just doesnt sounds a good way to go…what do you think
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
1:53 pm
Vick – Always trust your instincts. You have said more than once that you don’t like what she is proposing. Just turn and walk away.
Cemeeli
June 18th, 2009
1:54 pm
I am just not a huge fan of letting the lil dudes go full blown with the pastels. Promise you’ll draw the line if a skinny jean thought passes those lips.
Mytwocents all I can do is laugh because you know my son. ha!
Mo You’re right. There will be a time to give up the ghost and havta punch them or let them get punched. dad/uncle/grandad/goddad…
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
1:54 pm
Professor- Reading some of this stuff is givin me a headache because it seems like a sad situation.. My life has ALWAYS been simple & I would like to keep it that way!
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
1:56 pm
Mytwo- I SPOIL kids if they are good! Shyte, I love to be spoiled and I will damned if they see me being spoiled rotten and it is not being reciprocated!
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
1:57 pm
Vick,
You are correct. You cannot build a solid relationship with all of those folks in the picture. If you all are serious about being in an exclusive relationship you are going about it all wrong. It appears that she just wants to keep you in the bullpen, because her man is the real pitcher. I will admit I have an ego, so there is no way I would play that role, but hey that is your call you are in the bullpen.
I don’t want to add confusion to your situation, but how do you feel about the girl you are with? How long have the two of you been together? It doesn’t seem like that relationship is too solid either? I have not read all the post so forgive me if you have already touched on this.
Melo
June 18th, 2009
1:58 pm
told Chantal that you’re the type that might like the idea too much
u make me laugh Chantal.But u know what,for all his seemingly loud and lewd mouth on the board,Boaz is so disciplined when it comes to his off road liasons,but then u wldnt know coz u scared.
U dont seem the scared type tho.(im goarding and daring u there)
Truth doesn’t have any kids so that’s why he said that
For Real,u made me laugh with that one.
good for nothing Big balls.
Never ever say that to a kidless african with a wife or long term relationship,they take that as a diss to mean he is a mule!
She tells them to treat us badly and manipulates them emotionally
KELLY,simple qstion:how do u know this?
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
1:59 pm
When something is “spoiled”, don’t you get rid of it because it’s not any good anymore, harmful even?
AmazonRed™
June 18th, 2009
2:01 pm
You have said more than once that you don’t like what she is proposing. Just turn and walk away.
Right…this is how people purposely invite drama into their lives. Stop giving folks a chance to play you.
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:02 pm
Sexy- I am spoiled and I have YET to be thrown away..
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:02 pm
Lioness I agree this stuff is making my neck tense up which exacerbate my hunger…Lol.
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:02 pm
Vick is 27 and has to learn his OWN life lessons.. Enjoy the drama Vick & make sure you learn from it
For Real Ballwood
June 18th, 2009
2:03 pm
Ared: First of all, if a chick is stupid enough to dive into water and know they can’t swim then that chick wouldn’t be with me in the first place. If I remarry my wife want ever have to worry about drowning. I don’t think you read my earlier post since you got here late but basically if I decided a chick has the potential to be my wife then I would start an intergration period with my kids and the chick before I marriage is even talked about. By the way, everyone that gets married takes a swan dive. Oh and on Truth’s point you seem to be posting from the aspect that the father is around on on weekends and I think DK, W8, and myself have a joint arrangement which makes Truth point sound crazy. I will respect his marriage, his household, and my kids will too but he better respect that my kids are being raised a certain way long before he showed up. I am fine with picking my kids up on the curb.
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
2:03 pm
Yep. Vick will be setting himself up to get thrown away.
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:04 pm
Professor- Try eating plain yogurt in the morning and your lunch will become more filling I promise
Oh, plain yogurt takes a while to get used to 
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:05 pm
Ohhh please don’t throw me away I am spoiled…everybody always told me it was sorta cute….
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
2:05 pm
Besides, Lioness, if Vick wanted to be learning his OWN life lessons, he wouldn’t have come asking for input/advice.
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:06 pm
Vick are you 27 for real? You should know when you are getting setup for the bullpen…I thought you were a young person…now I feel bad because the game is SOLD not TOLD and I am in violation.
Poppa Grande
June 18th, 2009
2:06 pm
The only place that I’ve ever been to is called Knock outs. It was on Peachtree. It is a boxing themed spa/salon. It has been a minute since I’ve gone.
SexyCool - I'm gettin' my Maya Angelou on right now.
June 18th, 2009
2:07 pm
I am not spoiled. I am rewarded, pampered and appreciated.
AmazonRed™
June 18th, 2009
2:08 pm
don’t think you read my earlier post since you got here late but basically if I decided a chick has the potential to be my wife then I would start an intergration period with my kids and the chick before I marriage is even talked about.
So when does the gf get to meet your kids?
By the way, everyone that gets married takes a swan dive.
It’s not about the dive, it’s about the prep beforehand. Some folks are more prepared to be wives and mothers than others. Doesn’t mean they can’t learn or that they can’t be with you.
you seem to be posting from the aspect that the father is around on on weekends
No, not really. Even if it is 50/50, the man should be empowered do disipline your kid while he’s in his home. He shouldn’t have to wait for your authority or approval.
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:08 pm
@ Lioness I will have to try that…I am so hungry I am getting ready to munch on some oatmeal w/ dried fruit but it is just too hot to eat that…
Leggs (Karyn)
June 18th, 2009
2:08 pm
@Vick, you already have your answer. It is not going to work. The both of you are already starting on a rocky foundation. She told she she just wanted to talk and see how things are going. She’s pitting both of you against each other without eithe of you knowing to see which one will come out on top with the demands she’s about to place on both of you. In the end, mark my words, you’ll be home alone wondering what just happened with the 2 of you! She’s playing you because you’re letting her. She has the upper hand so don’t be surprised at the outcome if you stand your ground and stick to your beliefs. Time to man up and walk away from this one.
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:10 pm
Sexy- No one wants to learn on their own nor do people REALLY want to be told which direction to take in life.. Ultimately, he is going to do EXACTLY what he feels no matter what any person on here suggests to him
Tomato, tomatoe.. As I have said before, I am simple.. Spoiled works fine for me.. I just don’t like to be called a spoiled BRAT
For Real Ballwood
June 18th, 2009
2:10 pm
Lioness: Respect is EARNED not GIVEN. I can show anyone common courtesy but you will earn my respect and i will earn yours. That always taking the high road doesn’t work in real life cause sometime those fools are on the high road too. Oh and why are the commercials for Father’s Day soooooo different that the ones for Mother’s Day. I mean dayummmm every kiss don’t start with Kay for dad’s?
Vick
June 18th, 2009
2:10 pm
thanks sexyCool, isnt that what this blog is all about, sharing experiences so we dont do same dang thing while possibly avoided,
Thanks for the input but am just afraid it might sound like an ultimatem if i tell her pick one. And I like her so much to just let her go and call it quit myself.
Poppa Grande
June 18th, 2009
2:10 pm
There is also a men’s spa in the Terminus Building in Buckhead. I haven’t been there.
The only reason that I went to Knock Outs was that the wifey paid for it. She knows how I feel about boxing.
-W8©*N8*
June 18th, 2009
2:13 pm
@Ce-Entebello has a nice male spa with some sport themes..it’s on Paces Ferryy
@Vic- Man the phuck up I cant stand a whining azz indecisive dude, handle business dont let a woman lead you around. You are on here asking a bunch of women to help you make a damn man decision..
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:13 pm
Oh.. I forgot to add I am VERY BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cemeeli
June 18th, 2009
2:14 pm
Thanks PoppaG.
Is there anonther place just a man’s hangout? Like a good billard that offer giftcards?
Elijah
June 18th, 2009
2:14 pm
Heavy* your new woman Lioness( enchantress/spoiled isoff the chain)!
I agree whole heartly about boundaries they are a most in extendedfamily relationships. Once established it will helpkeep the drama down!
I applaud all the men and women who have stood in the gap for a child due to a missing parent!
I myself have 2 nieces where I took over for the parents until they became young ladies then they wanted to hang-out with my sister!
They turn on me, you just cannot trust little girls!
You guys are funny trying to convert the Devil (mamba)!
-W8©*N8*
June 18th, 2009
2:15 pm
AInt nobody meeting my kids until I put her through ALLL of the paces..period
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:15 pm
Vick,
I am not saying give her ultimatum, but you need to let her know what works for you. Does knowing about the other guy she is with works for you? Are you going to get upset and jealous knowing that she is getting busy with old boy and that is the reason your calls are being sent to vm? If you are okay with that sit on the sideline and wait to see where things fall. You should tell her where you stand (I said it before and I will say it again relationships are about timing)…
What about this girl you are with?
Cemeeli
June 18th, 2009
2:15 pm
Terminus, thanks i just read that.
W8 That’s near me. I’ll check that out…
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:16 pm
For Real- We’ve had that convo before & you are entitled to your views on it as I am. I ALWAYS take the high road cause in the end I have to live with my decisions.. I don’t get in my feelings easily NO WAY!
mytw♥cents...the most beautiful
June 18th, 2009
2:17 pm
BOAZ It would take LOTS to scare Chantal cuz she’s seen so much. You know she’s not naive enough to take that bait, tho. That’s why ya luv her!
CUTIE See the reciprocation thing implies that them lil buggers have the means and are tryna ’spoil’ you too. Now if you reward them for behavior and grades and sometimes treat em, I think they’re cool. But when they’re just ’spoiled’ for no reason, they gain a sense of entitlement. Betta go sit ya lil @zz down somewhere… again, this applies to adults too.
Gentlemen, do you think there’s a difference between “spoiling” your woman and treating her well in general? If not, has this ever backfired?
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:17 pm
Eli- Why am I off the chain??????
-W8©*N8*
June 18th, 2009
2:19 pm
@My2-good question
Professor (went to lunch early and now I am back hungry)
June 18th, 2009
2:19 pm
W8…LOL at that 2:13 and I thought this woMAN was giving Vick some good advice…
Melo
June 18th, 2009
2:21 pm
Vick
Few qstions to u on ur issue:
First are u a Christian,as in practicing or just regular guy having fun in his 20s in the A.
I got male gems to pass on after the qualifiers are in.
Lemme know!
Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!
June 18th, 2009
2:22 pm
Mytwo- I have a godson that is AMAZINGLY smart & an overall AMAZING little boy. That dude gets WHATEVER from me!! Ya hear?? WHATEVER!!! He is very appreciative for EVERYTHING he gets!!! Just because a person is spoiled doesn’t mean they are obnoxious.. I have ALWAYS been spoiled but I don’t go around boasting about NOTHING I have!! I am very humble & confident..
All the single ladies, put your hands up!!!
June 18th, 2009
2:23 pm
As a single woman without kids, I have dated men with children. In some cases it’s easier to date men who don’t already have kids. But on the other hand, men who do have kids are often more mature, dependable, etc.
While I can understand parents wanting to be protective of their kids, I could not become serious with someone who wouldn’t allow me to spend time around their children. Bottom line is that I have a choice in this relationship too, and I should have an opportunity to decide whether I want to deal with your kids, your baby-mama drama, and everything else that comes with dating someone who’s a parent.
I think it’s all in how you handle it. You don’t have to introduce the person you’re dating as “the new mommy” or anything heavy like that. Rather, I think a few casual interactions would be appropriate, thereby giving all parties a chance to see if they get along, etc.
Poppa Grande
June 18th, 2009
2:25 pm
Cee
I guess that you could contact ten pin alley (they have billiards there) at Atlantic Station or 300 Atlanta bowling for something like that.
Ten pin Alley is part of the Dolce group so I guess that they would have giftcards.
Most guy hangouts really don’t have giftcards. I mean I have yet to see a gift card to Magic City, Blue Flame Lounge, Strokers, etc. You’d be better off giving him a stack of singles. j/p
Seriously though, I really can’t say about the giftcard thing. The only giftcards that I seem to get are to The Home Depot (They are really appreciated because there is always something to fix on a house), and I don’t giftcards for men.
I’ll tell what giftcard that my dad like a lot. (He’s the only male that I really get giftcards for). Last year I gave him a $50 QT giftcard. I seemed to like the idea of someone else spring for the gas for his ride. He said that it was something practical and something that he’d know that he would need and use.
mytw♥cents...the most beautiful
June 18th, 2009
2:25 pm
CEE Yeah, I know my dude is too damn cool for skinny jeans, but I thought maybe some lurkers somewhere were out there letting them boys bring that back from the bootleg summercamp (read: mall) with their summer spending monies.
LEE LOVEBONE I’m with you… WTF is dude going thru and why? This ain’t a struggle to figure out- his candle alone ain’t good enough and she wanna get burned at both ends… (I took the liberty of editing the phrase a bit.)