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Love them like my own

NFL player Tom Brady has a child from a previous relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan. When Brady dated his then girlfriend Giselle Bundchen, I remember reading a comment from Bundchen about Brady’s son:

“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.”

Now I thought it was a noble and endearing perspective to take, but after talking to a couple of real parents, it seemed to strike a nerve. If you have children, wouldn’t you want the person your ex is dating (seriously) to care for your child as if they were your own?

Have you ever dated someone with children and became close to their children? Did it cause a problem with their parent because you were too close?

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who treated your children like their own? Isn’t that a little litmus test to see if the person is compatible to you and your kids, since you are a package deal?

Is there a line that one should not cross when it comes to dealing with someone who has children in terms of parenting them? What would you say are the boundaries? Do you set those ground rules with your significant other and their children?

603 comments Add your comment

Alvin

June 18th, 2009
9:07 am

get too close t the child…relationship end…the woman , is an adult…understands fully…what’s going on…but the child…my God…my God…becomes attache to that person….like no other…tell that child you and the mother are no longer together…the pain in the childs eyes will cut you like no other…they spend a long time thinking they were the reason for the break up…

There is a lot of drama involves if you’re trying to be a respectable parent and be involve in the child’s life. you and the mother try to maintain a nonsexual friendship and keep conversations focus on the the child, which is a good look for the child…bad for any new dude that shows you on the scene. most men are jealous by nature’ will immediately think your intentions is to get back with the chlid’s mother. on top of that, you’ve been with the child since birth…that child want his father and being that most kid are selfish by nature…isn’t looking for another father, he already has one. new dude has very little chance of making an impresion on the child.

can you imagine how dude I feeling loss…not lookig at the big picture…lil dude has a good father figure and provider for the child…it makes his life easy…nah, dude gotta act like a bish igga and run complain.

for my men folks…before getting involve with a woman with kids, ask yourself…are you here for the long haul or just a booty call….and play your role accordingly.

single moms…I walk down that road before….being a single parent aint easy…on of the hardest jobs in the world…no matter how much money you got in the bank…the sacrifices yall make aren’t always easy….but it is important you make wise decisions concern your children and dating….what you do will affect them for life…

amen to yall mother who doing the dayum thing…

(this post aint got ish to do with the topic…on marta thinking…see a lot of aimless moms on this bish.)

Kym

June 18th, 2009
9:09 am

Wisey,

Since I know this is going to be a hot topic for all those who “I don’t date people with kids” let me start the party off.

Attention: You are dating me not my child. Ladies and Gentleman with children when you go out on a date. The woman/man is dating you and not your child. Your first dates(3-4 maybe 5 ) should not include dragging little Rollo or Tanizna along cause you are a “package deal”. Matter of fact Wisey I found that whole phrase offensive. I am a parent..but when I am dating I am a single person with a child who is dating. Other than scheduling I am no different than any other single person dating.

That line you are speaking of does not cross until those who are dating become more than a notion to each other and they wish to commit to something more serious like marriage(insert shudder here) or a long term thang. If are dating the person there will be plenty of opportunities to see if that person has parenting potential without subjecting your child to the madness of meeting mom or daddy’s new friend.

Shandra aka Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!

June 18th, 2009
9:12 am

Alvin- You are a VERY SPECIAL PERSON!! Hope you find someone that will appreciate all of you! :mrgreen:

Deeva4Life

June 18th, 2009
9:16 am

Good Morning…great topic Wise Diva

This entry is the reason I’m usually leery of dating guys with children…I recognize the odds of meeting a man without any is often times slim, but these type situations often put a huge damper on things. I love children and when dating someone with children it’s easy for me to become attached to the child/children. I try to make them comfortable around me which creates a better overall atmosphere. However, I’ve never tried to overstep any boundaries by “trying to be” their mom…they have a mother.

Now I’m not a mother, so I can say what I would or would not do…however, I would hope if I had a child and me and the father didn’t work out that whomever he had in his life would treat my child kindly and lovingly. Her being nice or accommodating to my children won’t change the fact that I’m the mother and when my children are in her presence I would want them to feel loved and safe. I also want them to be respectful to her and in times when they are not, she would have permission to put them in their place. Now physical reprimanding is a little blurry for me…I personally would have a hard time spanking someone else’s child. I have a hard time spanking my own nieces and nephews (don’t get it twisted, I have and I will if the situation calls for it). With that being said, there are times that people make bad judgements on who they introduce and allow their children around…that’s a whole different story for a different post. But if the father has chosen someone who ultimately has my child/children’s best interest at heart, I pray I wouldn’t be ignorant about the situation and causing unnecessary friction for everybody (my kids, myself, their father and her). Too many times I feel these antics or “reservations” have more to do with keeping tabs on the ex than it does about the well fare of the children. And that to me is when it gets real ridiculous. Just my .02

Kym -declaring a holy war on Bull-shiggidity

June 18th, 2009
9:16 am

Awww Alvin..

Shandra aka Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!

June 18th, 2009
9:21 am

Good Morning All :)

I used to be one of those people who didn’t like to date people with children because of the lack of attention that would be paid to me but I’ve learned to not limit myself to specifics because I could be missing my blessing. The special person in my life has children and whatever he loves, I love harder..

I remember reading that comment Gisele made and I totally feel her because she loves her man THAT much! That is what I got from her comment. Straight up LOVE for her man & whatever comes with him! I give respect where respect is due! I totally agree with Alvin! A person SHOULD NOT introduce their kids to just anyone.. Kids tend to become attached to people very easily and it is not fair to them if they become attached to an individual who means NOTHING to their parent OR if the individual is not in their parents life for the long term.

AmazonRed™

June 18th, 2009
9:26 am

Morning everyone,

Not a parent, but I would hope the step parent would love the child as their own. Folks with kids are a package deal and if you can love your spouse unconditionally, you should work to achieve that with their child. Not like he’s going anywhere. Easier said then done, I’m sure tho.

If I date a man with kids, I expect them to be close, which causes a conflict. Biblically your spouse should come first, but when the kid was there before you, and you’re just the girlfriend, I can see where it could be come a competition for time.

Blow Me

June 18th, 2009
9:26 am

Good Morning All..

LIONESS: I completely agree. I could have not said it better. I would rather someone to love my kids like their own as opposed to mistreating them.

But I do feel if you love someone you have to love thier child as well because it’s apart of them and it’s a package deal. I know if I had a child I would want or rather they would have to love me just as well as my child.

If not it’s a NO deal!

Leggs (Karyn)

June 18th, 2009
9:29 am

Good morning. I figured Rell or Alvin would be first to post.

I too remember the comment made by Gisele and understood what she was saying. Co-sign you Lioness = straight up love for her man and all he brings. Now, when dating not everyone will have the privilege of meeting my daughter. There is absolutely no need to introduce her to every person I go out on a date with.

@Alvin, you’re a good man!

Sassy Me...juicy fruit AKA Victoria :-)

June 18th, 2009
9:32 am

I don’t have any children but have experienced two situations that left a bad taste in my mouth. First let me say that when it comes to children I am old school in that the parent runs the child not vice versa and rude children are a no no. Now in the first situation I dated a single father whose “baby mama” was out of state and it was obvious he needed help but he tried to MAKE ME mother his son and I was in school at the time so that really wasn’t happnin’. To make matters worse he tried to muscle me into moving in with them waay in College Park(they didn’t even deliver pizza at night over there) and I was still living Downtown PLUS dude didn’t have a car so that was an extra hellz naw…the final straw came when he told me that he didn’t want me on the pill anymore and I was like “biotch is you crazy?”. I have Never heard a man say that unless and I felt like he was tryna trap me so I bounced.
Second situation dealt with the ex and his two bad azz kids with ADHD and the baby mama with the i.q. of a brick. He wanted me to discipline the boys but I felt like two things can happen: 1.They would tell their mama and all hell would break loose and 2. They would resent me b/c I aint they mama and I had no right to discipline them. He couldn’t control them and sometimes I wanted to shake them but I just had to remove myself from the situation. I tried to help as best I could but in the end I realized that the situation wouldn’t change and I HAD TO GET OUT so I did. For ME dating a man with children took away from the relationship. Would I do it again?…..I don’t know but I’m not completely closing the door but my first/last two experiences were whack.

abc

June 18th, 2009
9:45 am

If a child is not your own, then that’s that. A step-parent is not a father nor mother. Such surrogacy is important to perform to your utmost, don’t get me wrong; but to say that one treats another person’s child as if they were their own is to not know what having your own child really is.

I don’t fault anyone for so saying, though. It seems to indicate to me that their heart is in the right place, at least. But I have kids of my own, I’ve been a step-child, and I’ve been a step-parent. I know what I’m talking about.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
9:48 am

Hello blog.

I just had a morning of “traffic from hell”….a 20 minute drive to the office, took me 1.5 hour to get in today….really should have just made a U, and went back home…but I am thankful for the job and do not take it for granted. I made it in here.

Wooosaaaaaahhhhh.

I appreciate this read:

no matter how much money you got in the bank…the sacrifices yall make aren’t always easy….but it is important you make wise decisions concern your children and dating….what you do will affect them for life

Thanks Alvin! You have ministered to what I need this morning…

Shandra aka Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!

June 18th, 2009
9:49 am

Abc- Wouldn’t you like if the man that your child/children’s mom gets with next(if you are not with her currently) takes your children in as if they were his own? I would prefer to have an individual say that then say, I not really into kids but they are OK.. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my kids being with that individual..

Sassy- Just learn from those experiences and use EXTREME caution when dating men with children. Don’t shut ALL men out because they have kids cause not everyone has parenting issues :)

SexyCool - Like tight verse over a hot track

June 18th, 2009
9:52 am

With Coach’s youngest son, I was a fully participating part-time parent. Homework, bath times, trips to Chuck E. Cheese and Storytime at Barnes and Noble, driving him to school in the morning, teaching him the alphabet, reminding him that he goes to school to “get an education”.

After I ended the relationship, Coach attempted to keep me tied into his life by involving the child. I decided that it was in the child’s and my best interest to allow that bond to fade. I no longer wanted to be the hand that rocks the cradle. Besides, at six years old, he didn’t need to be party to the confusion of our failed adult relationship.

I emailed his mother and thanked her for sharing him and to give him all of my best love. I let her know that if ever there were anything that I could do for that child, I am only a phone call away, but that I would leave it to the judgement of her and his father as to what if any involvement. I didn’t receive a response to that email and I have not heard from them since and I am okay with that.

Do I miss this child? Sometimes, I do. But most often, I am glad for the experience and just take it for what it was, a part of the life that I was living at the time. Like everything I do, I put a 100% effort into being a part time parent and I was d@mned good too (lol). But that was then….

Three Words Daily – Enjoy life’s journey.

Leggs (Karyn)

June 18th, 2009
9:53 am

@Sassy “(they didn’t even deliver pizza at night over there)”…cute! Yes, both of your situations reaped with controlling YOU. Especially the first one!

abc

June 18th, 2009
9:55 am

No. They’re not his own. They’re MY own. Now, my kids are grown, but projecting back, if they had had a stepfather, he would have had a job to do or answer to me, but he’d never be their father. That’s MY job.

If a father doesn’t do his job, then the surrogate (i.e. stepfather) does the best he can, but he’ll never be the father. Trying to be so will simply cause friction. The child won’t accept it.

Shandra aka Lioness- Just Keeping it Real!

June 18th, 2009
9:56 am

abc- You are the type of parent that Wise is referring to.. Got you ;)

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
10:01 am

I emailed his mother and thanked her for sharing him and to give him all of my best love. I let her know that if ever there were anything that I could do for that child, I am only a phone call away.

This one got to my heart, SexyCool.

I’ve never been to make a decision to an ex that had bonded with my child and after the breakup figure out whether or not my child or I should keep the relationship going. Wow! Now that i think about it that would be a really hard decision.

You willingness to still be there for the kid is selflessness at it finest.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
10:02 am

Correction: I’ve never had to make a decision of an ex that had bonded with my child…

Melo

June 18th, 2009
10:12 am

Daaaaan SexyCool,that was tight!

Ull be a good mum,i can see that!

Good morning crazy bunch!!

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
10:17 am

I used to not date women without kids, because of an incident that happened with a woman who did not have kids. She stated that she wanted me to love her like I loved my daughter. I told her no matter what my daughter does I would love her unconditionally and that my love for her as a girlfriend had some conditions. Anyway I ended that relationship because she gave me grief about spending time with my child, So I started dating women with children because they understood the commitment of being a parent better..then I realized that there are some women without kids who understand also. For me my kids are the most important thing in this world until I have a wife, then she becomes first and foremost. I said a wife not a girlfriend. I recently met a girl who said that she just wanted to be my kid’s friend and “good times” partner..I told her she and I could not be, because I needed someone who would help me raise my kids as their own. Now my ex knows how I am about my kids and they know that I am not having anyone around them before due time and trust the decisions I make regarding my son and daughter. I have to admit my last serious girlfriend stepped up to the plate bigtime helping me with my newborn son. I would have been lost if that woman was not in my life at that moment, I did not know what I was doing with an infant and she stepped in and helped big time, hell she spent more time with my daughter than I did(I was jealous..lol the weekend I had my daughter they would hit me up for my credit card and be gone for the weekend..lol..but I was glad that they had a great relationship..even though the girl and I have no conversation she and my daughter still hang out and kick it) she had a young son also of which I grew extremely close to. I miss him dearly, he was in the 3 year old range and he and I used to do everything together..I used to actually miss him when he went to visitation with his father.

Long story short, if you can’t get with my kids and be a positive influence in their lives you can’t get with me…It’s a package deal. People ask if I want more kids, I tell them it’s up to whomever I marry if she wants them I want them if she doesn’t I am fine with that also. I dated a woman who once was adamant about meeting my daughter’s mother because she thought it would be better if my ex wife knew who was around my child…lol..I told her it was a bad idea but he called her on her own. My ex proceeded to tell her :”Why are you calling me?” “W8 loves his daughter to death and I am not worried about her at all when she is with him, I don’t need to know you or have any sort of relationship with you, he makes sure his daughter is well taken care of, so unless W8 has been killed or seriously injured and I need to come pick up my daughter don’t call me ever again” lol

SexyCool - Like a tight verse over a hot track

June 18th, 2009
10:20 am

The leftover effect from being a part of a toddler’s life – I like Disney television way too much, The Penguins of Madagascar is almost Must See TV and I’ve got a boatload of Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
10:20 am

Good morning Melo.

MR. Unknown

June 18th, 2009
10:25 am

Good topic,, Im not a parent,, Im currently or I guess as recent as yesterday formely dating a woman with child… Me and ol girl have been dating off and on for the past three years. Due to business, getting back into school, we just haven’t had time in the past… But we were giving it another go and she is a now a mother of a new 1ish child…

I don’t know how to feel around the child, because her prev relationship ended badly, buddy hasn’t seen his kid.. blah blah.. and Im not going to step into it as if im the savior.. I really value the friendship, and regardless i will be in the childs life… but do ya’ll think i push the ejection button to early.. and remember I used the classic I value our friendship line yesterday,,, and she hasn’t spoken to me since…

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
10:25 am

Whoa I didn’t know I was typing a long Jamoca/Kimme post..sorry :(

Melo

June 18th, 2009
10:30 am

Morning Cee! What up Big EGO!
I was caught up in traffic too on Rockbridge whilst taking my son and dghter to camp.
Had to do a 360 degree and was at wrk much later!
Looks like the traffic gods were hovering over the A this morning!!

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
10:30 am

@Mr Unknown- based off your post you need to keep it moving and leave her alone. Do you know why the father hasn’t seen his child? Anyway doesn’t sound like you have a desire to play the role that is required in dating her as a single parent

mytw♥cents...the most beautiful

June 18th, 2009
10:31 am

I think this is the crux of the dilemma: Now I thought it was a noble and endearing perspective to take, but after talking to a couple of real parents, it seemed to strike a nerve. If you have children, WOULDN’T YOU WANT the person your ex is dating (seriously) to care for your child as if they were YOUR own?

This concerns me and I always feel uncomfortable inquiring about or having contact with a guy’s kids because of it. Some women just love their kids and are offended on GP when another woman seeems to be insinuating herself. But sadly, I there are those who thought a baby would keep him or use the child as a bargaining chip and they’re probably the worst. The last thing they want is another woman who probably has more sense than them taking too much of an interest in their pawn…I mean pride & joy.

My girl bought her dude’s kids like 3 outfits each for Christmas- wrong move! The kids were grilled and BOTH baby-mamas wanted them not to visit with her anymore b/c they didn’t want to keep hearing her name. So eventhough she was just being generous, it came across as threatening the hold they seem to want to keep on him.

SexyCool - Like a tight verse over a hot track

June 18th, 2009
10:32 am

Mr. Unknown – wth? You’ve been dating off and on for THREE years, but she has a new ONE year old? Did I read that right?

From the way you read, it sounds like you don’t know what it is that you want from the relationship anyway and that all you ever were was ‘FWB’.

And hell, it’s only been since yesterday, what were you expecting her response to be? Or was the ‘valuing the friendship line’ some sort of ultimatum?

More info, please.

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
10:33 am

W8 – You and SexyCool’s comments are really what’s up….

And, from one single parent to another single parent, thanks for keeping it real. With my left handed writing self, I am signing your 10:17 with my sterling silver felt tip pen.

And my man, one comment to that lady…You know when I saw this:

she wanted me to love her like I loved my daughter.
I called her a silly broad….Sorry, I did. :???:

Willie Dynamite

June 18th, 2009
10:36 am

Morning All,

This topic really needs to be addressed in depth when out dating. Whether you are the single parent or the suitor. Like Alvin (BTW that was some real Grown Man ish, pound to you) says you have to fully understand the situation you are getting yourself into. The child is an innocent bystander in whatever your intentions are. Some young adults are really not redy mentally to move into a situation like that.

@SCool- That was real stand-up. Win lose or draw you can always be on my Life Team.

@ABC – I tend to agree with you. The love for a child may not always be transparent. When you have your own kids you understand the depth of that love and whether intentional or not the Step Parent can not reach those depths for the most part. Thats just how it is.

Melo

June 18th, 2009
10:38 am

and she is a now a mother of a new 1ish child……….and regardless i will be in the childs life hmmmmm,didnt realise u and her are tied tgether like a joint of weed(the jamaican herb leaves and their wrapper! :lol:

What u talking about stranger?? Why dont u bring ur drama later on this afternoon after everyboidy has had their cup of coffee.

Goodness!! :lol:

SexyCool - Like a tight verse over a hot track

June 18th, 2009
10:38 am

MyTwo – sounds like your girl was dealing with some immature and/or insecure mothers.

I will say this though – each situation has to be judged on its own merit. The way that I was with Coach’s child may not be that way in my next serious situation should it involve children.

I don’t own the rose colored glasses that allow me to think that the next situation will involve parent meetings where we all decide schedules, private schools and after school activities.

Kym -declaring a holy war on Bull-shiggidity

June 18th, 2009
10:42 am

SexyCool the value our friendship line means..I enjoy screwing you but we are not getting much farther up the road than that. Dude needs to push the hell on.

Grace

June 18th, 2009
10:43 am

Have you ever dated someone with children and became close to their children? NO, when I’m dating I NEVER bring my kids in the equation until it evolves into a healthy two way relationship. He would be aware that I’m a single parent upon initial meeting, and be fully aware taht there are no “drama” surrounding it if and when we go from dating to a full blown relationship. some people will try to buy the kid(s) with presents, and such thinking if they can win the child(ren) over and the person they are dating/relationship with sees it that can bump them up on the richter scale, and they’ll be in the house.

mytw♥cents...the most beautiful

June 18th, 2009
10:43 am

Months ago, this dude sent me a crazy text asking me to follow a certain script if his child’s mother were to text me :???: Included was acknoledging her as the mother of his child, yaka, yaka, yaka.

Why would she have my # to text me?
Why would she need validation from an unknown?
WTH was he smoking to think I’d go along with this?
WTF do I look like explaining myself to anyone when I’m grown?

Grace

June 18th, 2009
10:51 am

LOL mytwo that’s some crazy mess….

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
10:55 am

Now my daughter tells me “Dad, you need a girlfriend you are a good guy, you are just to mean at times and you should not always say what you think, atleast have some tact about what you say”…lmao I am like why is my daughter giving me dating advice..but ummm she is right..lol

Now to her mother’s boyfriend when she met him:”Don’t try and do anything special for me, don’t buy me anything, don’t call me any nicknames and don’t try and get close to me, I have a daddy and you are not him so don’t try to be”..lol

Her mother called me and was like will you tell your daughter to lighten up on my boyfriend she gives him a hardtime all of the time. I told her I didn’t have anything to do with that but I will talk to her. So I told her “Scoot, mommy is entitled to be happy with her new man so you need to ease up a bit and let them enjoy each other” She says,”Dad how was he supposed to be your friend but then start dating mommy while yall are going thru the divorce, that is not right she needs to find another boyfriend”…Me:”Babygirl, they started dating before the divorce but daddy’s at fault with that also, sometimes you have to let things go”..Her:”Well I just won’t talk to him ever” Me:(just shakes my head)..lol

Melo

June 18th, 2009
10:58 am

Dad how was he supposed to be your friend but then start dating mommy while yall are going thru the divorce, that is not right she needs to find another boyfriend”

W8, and u were telling ur daughter that grown up mum/dad mess,why?? Coz ur were pissed at her??
That wasnt fair still, i think.
Hw old is ur dghter?

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
10:59 am

On my 10:55 we were legally spit for two years before the divorce and the both of us were doing our own thing. It was shocking but not suprising or maybe i just didnt care..lol

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
11:02 am

@W8- How old is your daughter?

THE INFAMOUS DK

June 18th, 2009
11:02 am

This is a very touchy situation with me because I am very active in my Son’s life.. I only think a child has one mother and one father everything else is extra. The extras should always yeild to the parents of said child to keep drama down.. Now if dude or mama is not doing what they are supposed to do then ok step in and fill that void but you had better tread lightly when it comes to a child that is being raised by their biological. See women dont have to worry about this because ya’ll usually get custody and then some dude tries to step in and do what he can to impress ya’ll which includes acting like a surrogate father. I have said it time and time again if any man every disrespects me or my child I will be on the news..

Cemeeli

June 18th, 2009
11:03 am

lol…HUSH Melo!

Dang that’s funny.

AmazonRed™

June 18th, 2009
11:04 am

and I was like “biotch is you crazy?”.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

M'

June 18th, 2009
11:05 am

I believe that if you are going to get involved with someone who has offspring, then there has to be some measure of awareness for the child(ren) best interest…and if that is not something that a person wants to consider, then do not become involved with the person.

Page1908

June 18th, 2009
11:05 am

LOL @ Dos Centavos.

I don’t mind dating men with kids, however, it seems that the men I come across with kids, don’t typically date women without kids, similar to what W8 mentioned earlier.

I used to work in Child Welfare and I also spent a few years as a preschool teacher, so I absolutely adore kids, especially littles ones lol. But, my career was always a problem because I would get dudes asking me “hey what can I do with my son who is acting out in preschool, or my daughter’s teacher said she doesn’t socialize with the other kids, what should I do”? I would be like OMG, I am not on the clock lol. Then, when I was a social worker for child protective services, I would get “hey, my friend’s son said his dad leaves him at home alone all the time, can you go over there and see what’s going on”? Or, hey, my baby’s mom is accusing me of things and now I have to appear in juvenile court…what should I do, you know a bunch of attorneys and judges”. I’m like OMG, I am not on the clock! *sigh*

-W8©*N8*

June 18th, 2009
11:06 am

@Melo- My daughter will be 16 in a few months an we all went to the same Church and worked in the same ministry so it was no secret that he and I were friends the whole Church new it. I understand what you are saying but I never lie to my daughter and she made that observation on her own.(plus later own I found out my dughter used to sneak and read my ex wifes diary so she knew what was going on before I did..lol) Never been pissed with my ex, if I still had active feelings I probably would have been but nope..My role is Daddy to my child and thats what I do. Nobody can tell me anything about raising her at all except my ex and I must pat us both on the back..My daughter is not “fast” nor is she “green” she is not perfect but she is not a wyld child and the realness we give to her allows her to talk to us about anything under the sun..Whether it be about God, school , music, masterbation, her crushes on boys, even to why she gets picked on for still being a virgin..I always keep it real and straight forward with her

mytw♥cents...the most beautiful

June 18th, 2009
11:10 am

ALVIN/SEXYC Y’all were bout the business of acting in the best interest of the chirren and that’s admirable. Eventhough it hurts, you’ve gotta know when to remove yourself from the situation for your mental stability as well.

Crazy mess, indeed, GRACE. Let’s tune in to one of our convos:

.02 – How old is your daughter?
Dude- Three months
(.02 starts calculating and carries the 1)
.02 – Soooo she was like 6 months preggers when we met?
Dude- I guess
.02 – Soooo when did you break up?
Dude- We didn’t.
.02 – HUH!?!
Dude- We were never together.
(.02 now has a revelation)
.02 Soooo you like to raw dawg chicks you don’t even wanna be with?
(Dude allows phone line to crackle, praying .02 won’t realize he hopes she’s that stupid too.)

This is my life… as a covergirl…

For Real Ballwood

June 18th, 2009
11:11 am

What up Blog Fam!

My kids come first in my life period. I think some people do not place the proper value on their kids. If you ain’t willing to give that chick or ole boy access to your bank accounts then don’t give them access to your kids. I think we need to make a distinction here:

1. Dating = You don’t get to meet or see my kids even if you introduce them to me. My kids and I are not a package

2. Girlfriend = You MAY/MIGHT/POSSIBILY/PERHAPS see my kids but you will have no interaction with them. My kids and I are not a package

3. Wife = Full Monty – My kids and I ARE a package.

If my kids mom decided to remarry I would require a meeting with dude to express the importance of my kids to me. Based on that conversation we can move forward. However, ANYBODY that is in possesion of my kids better know to take care of them as if they were they own because I JUST AIN’T GON UNDERSTAND and that goes for my kids mother too!!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

June 18th, 2009
11:13 am

I was listening to Micheal Baisden one day and he actually said that when he gets with a woman that has kids the Dad has to understand that he needs to back off.. I was like are you serious?

I figured out though with me being in my Son’s life it weeds out a lot of pretenders cause for the most part I’m sure his mom tells them that he aint going no where.. He is the coach of his baseball team, stays at home when he is sick, buys all clothing, pays for private school, is at every Dr’s appt and still pays child support on top of it all..