I was listening to Q100 recently when I heard a promo from The Bert Show. They were discussing people who were given warnings not to date/marry their mate. One young lady said that her then fiancee’s mother told her not to marry her son because he was “crazy.” Not like Borat crazy, but asylum crazy. She said that she married him anyway and her husband turned out to actually have some mental health issues. It was the final line that caught my attention: “Some people are given assignments in life, and he is my mine. He’s my project.” Now, I could not figure out if this was the most noble thing I have heard or the saddest. Perhaps a little of both?
One of the best dating tips my father gave me was to never try to change a man. If you don’t love the “crust” of a man, you don’t need to marry him. You know the crust of a man is like bread crust. That tough outer layer that is good for you, but you may try to pick apart or cut off. It’s not about what you want him to be, what he may become, or what you want him to become. It’s about loving him for who he is. I wish I could say that I always listened to that advice!
Ladies, why do you think some women consider men their projects, like a old house that has to be renovated to be move in ready? Do you think that is the most common mistake women make in dating? Have you ever tried it? What did you learn from the experience?
Guys, I have always heard that men hope that their women never change. Is this generally true? Do you want your woman to stay the person she is when you first meet her/fall in love? Have you ever dated a “fixer upper” female that you needed to polish up a bit? Was it a good idea or a disaster?