First WiseDiva let me thank you for running my entry yesterday. I was really hyped looking for to having the discussion with the good people of blogland but I was pulled away for an emergency. My son broke his arm and fractured his collar bone at school. Idiot. But yeah thanks for giving me a chance. BTW if I am allowed a do over I do have another one in the rough draft stage that I will send you soon. Thanks again.

Now on topic: I think the biggest blunder these in dating it the lost art of chivalry and manners. So many men are clueless when it comes to gentlemanly gestures toward women and so many women have lost their manners. The put your foot down statement is very appropriate because a person will only treat us how we allow them to or how we demand (not literally, but yet literally) them to.

Some things are a big deal and are very well the symptoms of larger issues to come or that lingers. One example, if you allow a person to talk down to you even in jest, chances are it is how they view you and it will manifest itself in a much uglier way later on. We all should demand respect. Joking around is one thing but don’t be disrespected even as a joke.

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Morning errbody

The only thing I’ve been called out for is being late. I’m as slow as cold molasses on a winter morning so I usually have to start getting ready at least an hour before I scheduled to leave home. The funny thing is that this didn’t start until after I graduated from school. Go figure….

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So many men are clueless when it comes to gentlemanly gestures toward women and so many women have lost their manners.

Chivalry isn’t dead but it’s definitely somewhere layin’ up on life support teetering on the edge of obscurity b/c it does seem to be largely non-existent in the datng scene. What’s sad is when things like opening doors or pulling out a chair are expected and when it’s not done subsequently brought to the man’s attention you get that blank stare and they look at you like “wha…huh”. Some men take it in stride and do better but some get insulted…..why though?

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Good morning all. Raqi, sorry to hear about your son. Hope he gets well soon.

I will admit that I have not put my foot down like I should in relationships. Which is funny because I will usually tell someone where to go in a heartbeat, especially my family! But I know they’ll love me anyway, and they know I just want the best for them and myself.

Anywhoo, I’ve tried to buck the whole “difficult black woman” stereotype to show my “California cool” side in relationships and that’s not always the best attitude to have, especially when encountering disrespectful behavior.

Anyway, it’s tough to call someone out without alienating them, but sometimes folks simply need a wake up call. I’ve been called out “gently” for being late too, so I’m taking heed before I get called out for real!

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Good Morning All,

@ Raqi I wish your son a speedy recovery, because that sounds painful! I saw the previews for that show and I hate I missed it…I am not much of a TV watcher just news and sports for the most part.

On topic: Long story short I will put my foot down if a person is being disrespectful. Also if there is potential for a relationship or friendship I will definitely speak with them on other annoying issues, because I know that will stand in the way. I am not speaking of petty things I mean the big stuff…the deal breakers.

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One of my pet peeves is a guy dropping by without notice. To me it’s disrespectful. I had one and only one issue with mi marido with that. He came by and I didn’t like it. Yeah he was in area and I enjoy his company but that didn’t mean he was allowed to just invade my space when he saw fit. Like I told him a simple phone call “hey I am down the street do mind blah, blah, blah” would have been appropriate. Especially after a certain time of the evening.

And yes he had to put me in my “girlfriend” place before.

And even now after the nups we have had to point out a bad act of behavior to the other. Nip it. Don’t let it grow limbs and branches.

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I am not speaking of petty things I mean the big stuff…the deal breakers.

Professor are you aware that a tree is just a mere seed before it becomes a tree. That’s the problem we sometimes look at things as being petty when they are the seeds of something bigger to come.

I don’t believe in being a nag however even if you don’t speak it out loudly every action should be weighed.

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Morning All!

I have no problem putting someone in their place if I’m disrespected. I’m always nice with it, using my soft voice ‘Sweetie, if we’re going to get along you really can’t talk to me like that.’ Or I might pose it in the form of a question ‘Do you always curse this much?’

I have been called out for being flip at the mouth before. Mainly using the term ‘whatever’ – I try to work on that.

On chivalry – I make it a point to say ‘thank you’ to all acts of kindness: opening doors, letting me on/off the elevator first, helping me down the stairs – all that stuff. I love it and I make sure its acknowledged with a big smile and a thank you. When my guy does it – that thank you is followed by a term of endearment and a quick peck on the lips

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Raqi I’ve never broken a bone, but I’m sure your babe is in pain. I hope he heals quickly and I hate that you had to sit up at the hospital yesterday.

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Good Morning All

Yes I have been called down to the carpe AND I do some calling as well.

I am sure that’s how it is for new relationship since you are dealing with two different ppl who expect two different ways on being treated.

Disrespect is not apart of the game. I can easily spot it a mile away and I am willing to bow out gracefully if respect is not there and will not be there.

My main thing is learning and maintaining my position/role. It gets hard when you are use to doing everything and wearing all hats. You have to let a man perform and be a man. I’ll let em have his drive..less work for me. Also, knowing that my time and effort is valuable…shoots out to Rell!

RAQI…I agree..small things do turn into big things. You have to be careful and correct that situation when it presents itself.

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AmRed – I too try to dispel the angry black woman stereotype when dealing with the opposite sex but I’ve realized that some dudes just need to get told.

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I have never, ever, EVA; dated a female who was consistently on time! You all are worst!

And y’all have plenty of excuses to minimize the behavior: “Girl-time”, “CP-time”, “my baby this or that”, “15 minute rule”, once I was even told “You want me fine, well, it takes time”.

Just be on time, is that too much to ask?

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@Raqi

Sorry to hear about your son, and they heal up rather under 21 so he should be fine. Plus, the summer on restrictions due to his injury is prolly the best teacher in this instance than anything.

On topic:

Respect is a quite simple equation: give it to get it; have it for yourself and other will have it for you.

I don’t hold to the “respect (as in chivalry) being earned” thought, but that’s my background. I do like to say that “if chivalry is dead, women killed it”. I mean, how do treat a tramp-stamped, gum popping, mean mugging chick as a lady? Those two things are incongruous, IMO.

In the end, how you are treated by the world is an extension of your self-respect. No one will treat you any better, or worse, than you display in your treatment of self (did I mention the “boot”?).

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@ Raqi I am aware that things start off small, however I know myself very well: likes, dislikes, pet peeves and those small things that will only bother me during that time of month . So with that said, at this stage in my critical thinking I can distinguish significant things from insignificant things, and express myself precisely when needed. I say this very humbly, my inner circle consist of those with the same level of thinking skills that I have, so it is really easy to communicate with them…it is not like I am dealing with some unreflective thinker, as Paul & Elder labels most of the population.

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Tazzee the longest wait was waiting for the orthopedic surgeon to look at the x-rays before the put him in a cast. Thankfully it will heal just fine without surgery. Only three more days in school and he couldn’t without doing something idiotic. LOL Boys will be boys.

Dang, there goes my runner while I am out with baby. That knucklehead.

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My darlin’ came by without notice the first time he came to see me. I took it in stride….it didn’t bother me actually.

That is our most memorable visit! It was a surprise…i’m glad he did!

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I too try to dispel the angry black woman stereotype when dealing with the opposite sex but I’ve realized that some dudes just need to get told.

I used to live in a really nice apartment right smack in the middle of downtown Atl.(5 min walk to CNN center,Underground, 5 Points, errthing) and the property manager’s son would work security sometimes…anyhoo he’s about 28 yrs. old and never had a good relationship with his mom-dukes and he just got out of a 5-6 yr. relationship so I assumed he knew how to treat women but by talking to him I realized I was waay wrong. BUT he’s one of those guys that truly NEED TO BE TOLD AND HE EVEN SAID SO. What I also thought was key is that he mentioned that he needs someone to “teach” him things in regards to how to treat a woman and I thought that spoke volumes b/c he saw an area where he was lacking and didn’t let his ego stop him from: 1. Admitting what he didn’t know and 2. Asking for help about the matter.

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Cemeeli for me, dropping by without notice is taking me for granted. Like I asked him how would he have felt if I had company…family-friends-whomever…over and had told him to go away. I did not spend my nights pining for him…well some…nevermind…I was not sitting at home with nothing to do waiting for him to just drop in. He needed to respect that. But that’s just how I am.

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Sassy – That’s great that he realized he needed to learn those things. I must admit that I was well into my 20’s before I realized that I needed to learn how to talk to a man. So I went to the extreme and REALLY held my tongue. Then some dudes would keep pushing and get called all kinds of witches (with a capital B). I’m glad I found my balance and learned how to say things nice and only break out with the weapons when pushed to the limit

Professor – I like that ‘please say that again’ approach. Just a quick check to make sure they came out of their mouth wrong before you check them.

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Where is W8?

I want to know how he feels about that Denver vs. Cleveland final he predicted.

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Tazz I thought it was great,too. I was even more flattered that he trusted me enough to be the one to shed some light on us AA women(and women in general). His dad is cool but I see where the son “learnt” some of his behavior b/c children sometimes emulate their same sex parent an boy did he ever…….

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Dan – I don’t let the actions of others dictate my manners. Unless they do something to me directly that is disrespectful, I’m still going to say please, thank you and hold the door open for the person coming behind me. There are many times I’m walking in front of someone and I hold the door for them without a thank you (usually they are on the phone) – then we walk through our parking garage and get to another door – I’m not going to NOT hold the door for them because they didn’t acknowledge it the first time because I’m the type of person that does that.

Similarly, I’m the type of person that smiles and says good morning as I’m coming in the office. There’s this one guy that never speaks back – that’s fine with me, I give him the same smile and greeting. I’m not going to let him change who I am.

Plus – it takes too much energy to think about who I should smile at (or hold the door for) so I just do it for all.

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Dan….tu che

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@Tazzee and Raqi

That’s not my point. I used the “tramp stamped” lady as an indicator of behavior and for that matter that “mugg” is just as bad.

What I’m saying is that my behavior isn’t going to change or be dictated by anyone, but it does give me pause when agruably “simple” gestures are dismissed. I’m not saying I agree with the position that chivalry is “earned”, but by the behavior of some these ladies, I can understand where “why bother?” is valid.

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Off Topic – have any of you blog ladies ever tried FitFlops? I’m thinking of getting some.

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There’s this one guy that never speaks back – that’s fine with me, I give him the same smile and greeting.

Bless ur heart!! I dont do that.Im usually kind most times but once i figure how u wired and u dont respond after a cple of times of trying to say hello, piss off….

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I was having brunch after church with a friend at Thumps Up Diner in East Point.

There are two doors in succession at that establishment to enter.

We approched at the same time as an elderly man and his family.

He reached for the door, so I slowed to allow him to open it for me. Knowing there was another door coming, I was going to open the 2nd door for him, and then speak.

Well, after I passed through the first door he says: “YOU’RE WELCOME! THAT’S WHY Y’ALL AINT GOT NO HUSBANDS.”

I explained to him that I was most certainly going to speak and that I also wanted to make sure I got the door for him. In addition, his comment was rude and unnecessary (he’s lucky I had the word that morning because I am not above tripping a rude old man! )

His family look totally embarrassed and he apologized but he mean mugged me and my friend the whole time.

I guess guys our here are fed up. Get over it.

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**singin’**

**i got a question why they hatin’ on me . . . ain’t did nuttin’ to ‘em but count this $, put my whole team on, got my whole click stunnin’**

that is my jaaaaam! lol.

what’s up y’all?

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Good morning everyone!

@Raqi, sorry to hear about your son’s injuries. I can pretty much picture you standing there wanting to wring his neck. Broken arm and collarbone….Yikes! Also, I missed Hitched or Ditched. Is the show any good?

To show up at one’s place uninvited is disrespectful. The first time I will probably let you in and explain that I would appreciate a phone call in advance. If you do it a second time, more than likely you’ll find yourself staring at the door.

I have very good manners and expect thouse around me to use manners. It certainly is a form of respect and home training. Chivarly can go both way, and it should go both ways. Certainly not a one-way street!

@atlwen, I am an “on time” person. I’m not late for many things. I lived 2 blocks from The Fox Theatre and left my 2 gfs in the bathroom because they weren’t ready for the play we were going to see. 2 blocks away and still couldn’t manage their time properly. Well, I sat in my seat and saw the entire show I paid for. They arrived 30 mins later. All I could was SMDH! Time management is important tool to have to navigate through life.

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Good morning good people!

I was guilty in the past of not speaking up when I should and letting small things fester. Like Raqi said, the small things take root and grow into very large trees. Then I would explode and become the tornado. I did not start out that way. In my very early dating days I would not let the slightest thing go. I foolishly listened to my friends and softened up. I too did not want to do the angry woman thing.

You live & you learn. It’s no longer an issue now. I choose my battles, but tolerate no disrespect of any form. My parents did not allow my brothers to disrespect women and I won’t allow it either. And I speak up in a respectful way.

I have always given guys the respect of at least listening and considering if they offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism of me in a kind way. More often than not, though, I was talked down to. Even though what he says might have some merit, it’s all in the delivery. If it’s not right I tune him out.

As for the chivalry, that’s not an issue with me. I have impecible manners but I know everyone was not raised like me. I still show everyone the upmost respect. I hold doors and offer my seat to the elderly or those juggling babies and kids and bags. Even the dogs I’ve dated had good manners, so no problems there.

Showing up uninvited or unannounced will get you left standing outside. One I had to threaten to call the police. Don’t need anybody checking up on me. Simply call and I will invite you in, no matter who is there.

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@Ared

It’s not being fed up (at least for me) to the point of reaction. It’s just that after a while you begin to wonder “where’d you get that mess?” Same token, I’ll get after a young boy for not opening the door and will tell one “I don’t wanna see yo draws, lil homie, pull ‘em up”

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LOL @ Leggs rolling out on folks.

New boo invited me to dinner, he told me “7ish”.. I took that to mean between 7 and 7:30 (ish… ). He was thinking it meant between 7 and 7:10. I know that for next time.

I had to remind him to open the car door for me after the first couple times he didn’t. He was completely unaware, but he didn’t make a stink, he just started doing it.

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@Staceye

Laugh lines are not that bad. It takes more muscles to NOT smile than it does to smile. Think about those lines.

@Ared

I’ll give you five dollars if you tell the next dude shorter than you to step to “smurf off”. HAHAHAAHHAHAHA

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Tazzee – I had not heard of FitFlops until you mentioned them. I just pulled them up on the web and I am definitely getting some! Bath & Body Works had a web-exclusive price on some styles for 39.75, normally 49.99. Where were you going to get yours and what price?

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ARED..you know the sad thing is…we will always be deemed the Difficult Black Woman if we don’t put up with their shyt!

Staceye – Very true. I told one guy to stop texting me like he knew me and to pick up the phone and call. His response: “Black women”

the dude that said you are not that tall….was he saying this while his short a$$ was looking up at you? You should have said…neither are you now Smurf Off!

I told him I was tall enough for him to ask such a stupid question. He started to argue with me and then just scampered away.

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I’ve also had a guy to wait for me 1hour and 28 minutes on a date because he wanted too. I warned him i was not ready, and let him know i was not going to rush. He said okay, and waited. He invited a friend of his and that freind’s date to join him. They were late also, so he chilled and hung out in the area. By the time i arrived he told me i owe him 1.5 hour more of my time.

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Lemme try the BEAUTIFUL/CEMEELI style of dear diary posting today. Whateva crosses my mind…whether it be here or there.

I’m sad that I can’t find either one of my HARDCORE cds.

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DAN…boy oh boy….I saw so many dudes in Miami with their pants under their a$$ I wanted to smack the crap out of them. They looked so nasty and trife! Then wonder why I gave them the stank face when they approached me. You’ve got a mouth full of metal,….you can’t speak proper English and you have to walk like a bloody duck to keep your pants from dropping to your ankles…so you’re a wanker and yet and still you approach a woman! UGH! They made me so ashamed of my own people…especially when other races were around. I would hate foreigners to think all of our men are like that. They already have a bad wrap….now this just adds to it. I know everytime I hear about a crime or whatever I secretly pray…please don’t let him be Black! The flippin’ DC snipper has now added brothas to the “you fit the description” bill fr serial killers now! Way to go jackhole!

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Oh and the reason you are late is because your are Trini…..you know West Indian People time is worst that CPT

Staceye if I had a cent..five cent…ten cent..dolla(get it) everytime I heard that I wouldn’t be running any experiments today Those Jamaicans started it with that “Mi soon come” business…soon come could be 10 minutes or an hour.

Did you go to carnivale in the Atl. this past weekend?…I went and it was great.

I know you’re gonna be hoarse tomorrow from cheering for Dwight tonight? I wish I could be part of his welcome home party when he comes back home to the “A”. He’d get a vigorous welcome from me for sure…..oooh lawd.

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Ared,dont hang with Mamba,she will corrupt u with her man repellant.

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This is how I’m feeling this morning.. My Pradas and Gucci’s got me tied up with hoochies.. My hotel room smeels like a lot Bedussie and I’m a God I could crucify you exclusively – Classified ft Royce da 5′9′ and B.o.B… I love good music in the morning..

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Whateva crosses my mind…whether it be here or there.”

I’ve told you Ms. Beautiful “just be real”. I dont. .

mytwocents I have India and Hamilton on deck. listening to my “My Souls on Fire” now…you might wanna holla at that track.

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DAN…I prefer to keep a straight face..that requires less muscles.

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Morning All,

I was just having this convo with my Son. We were discussing doing things for an expected response. I was telling him you do things for others because its the right thing to do. Whether its acknowledged or not doesn’t change whether its the proper thing to do. Same with girls/women (yeah he’s at that stage now) and being respectful. It was funny to me because he said something about how one girl did this but it was alright because she was tight and her friend couldnt pull it off because she wasnt all that. It took me a good hour and a few brews to get the ism in him. Funny thing is he actually seemed interested in how to do things the right way but admitted he knew he wouldnt because at times thats not how he rolls. Funny and Sad at the level of manipulation already at 12/13. This boy is gonna be a monster on these chicks, ima need reinforcements the force is strong in this one.

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kimmie – I hadn’t even thought about where I’m going to get them, I just got an email from amazon.com about them and remembered I wanted to check them out. I’ll probably get them from Macy’s (I’ve got SO many coupons/rewards there) because I can’t order online – my feet are different so I definitely need to try them on first. But that’s a good price at Bath & Body works so I may just try them on at Macy’s then order online

Melo – in the situation you described, I can totally understand not speaking. In my situation, almost everyone speaks back and I’m in my natural state. So I’m not going to do the ‘extra’ to remember he’s a non-speaker. Plus, I catch a smile from him every now and then. Personally, I think he’s just not a morning person.

I also love when little boys hold doors open, all they while praying they won’t get jaded as they get older. I taught my nephew to hold doors for ladies and sometimes it would take us forever to get into IHOP after church because he wanted to hold the door for EVERYONE! After a while I started to leave him there and put our name on the list then go back for him

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DAN Of course you’re not getting them cuz ya face is already screwed up because your EXPECTATION has already been set that she’ll be unappreciative! If he’s 8 to 80, blind, cripple or crazy (aww I still ♥ Big Daddy Kane, I’m kinda thinking I’m bout to get a pleasantry, a door held or something. Because I hope for the best, and it is rare that I’m disappointed. I don’t expect for them to be bitter and expectant of whatever some dudes have entitled as the Black woman’s demeanor, totally ignore me or shut the door in my face. Now if they do, I may raise the brow but I don’t break stride.

CEE Uhmm so you saying no Sweet Tea for me (Insert Pout Here. Borrow one from the guys.) And yeah, he had til Saturday. The one which has long passed. I need you to do betta!

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There is nothing sweeter in the world than a well-mannered, well-behaved little boy! And yes, I hate to see them get jaded as they get older!

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SASSY Thanks, chick. Now all I can hear is Dolla, Dolla, Dolla, Dolla! Arrgghh Take me with you to Carnival and we’ll call it bygones…

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Soo you guys are not smart enough to find a better way of dealing with life issues… Other than the angry black woman syndrome. Just seems a little to convenient to have that as your only option to deal with stuff..

Mr. Smith If you’d read the full contexts of our posts, what we were saying is that we were a little too closed mouth so we wouldn’t be viewed as angry black women just because we said something. Additionally what we were saying is that we learned how to properly tell a man that he’s being disrespectful without caring if we’re being labeled as ‘angry black women’ just because we stood up for ourselves.

So my question to you is, are you not smart enough to read an entire post in context before making a comment?

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@ Kimmie I concur with your 11:28 100%

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What I also thought was key is that he mentioned that he needs someone to “teach” him things in regards to how to treat a woman and I thought that spoke volumes b/c he saw an area where he was lacking and didn’t let his ego stop him from: 1. Admitting what he didn’t know and 2. Asking for help about the matter.” – And you felt honored because this fool ran you a line. Teach me… I don’t know no better… HAHAHA he is 28 years old!!!!! But you soaked it up because he appealled to your ego. HAHAHA…. What do you think you could have taught him about being a man a 28 years old? I bet you gave him your number didn’t you?

ForReal so it’s YOUR turn today huh…cool. First let me give you some background info…I’ve known this man for the last five years and in that time we’ve conversed ALOT about ALOT. I’ve never considered him to be a fool…only an honest man stating what HE didn’t know and MY ego has nothing to do with it. I’m not into parenting adults and as a woman how can I possibly teach him how to be a man?…what he said was he didn’t know how to really treat a woman and I took it as that. I can give him insite on how to treat a woman b/c I am one azzhole, so who better to learn from? I mean seriously dude, someone had to teach you how to treat a woman didn’t they…or thenagain maybe you don’t know….and trust there are PLENTY of men older than that who still don’t know how to treat a woman….you dumb phuck dip shyt go back and re-read my post THOROUGHLY before you try to come for me, that being said……get at me biotchey

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I agree with the consensus. Not addressing small slights (intentional or not) can result in major issues down the road.

Additionally, it CAN be indicative of the infamous he’s just not that into you or even that he’s NOT been called on unacceptable behaviour in the past and in his world has deemed it acceptable because he has “choices”. (Trust me, I had someone tell me something similar recently.)

Three Words Daily – Action yields results.

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DK: That’s the way I was taught as well but the fact remains you are still giving something that hasn’t been earned. One of my pet peeves is entitlement ie deserve. This world doesn’t owe anyone a thing.

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Dang Elijah.. Is your newly Ex Girl reading? Professing your love in cyber space might not be the best approach to get her back..

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Oh my, and you guys say I speak my mind….SassyMe shot straight from both kneecaps!

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@ SexyCool – Did you watch the movie?

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happy birthday Lil Mo. Are you giving a party?

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Doing something for a women no matter what title we have tag her with should come at no cost of being judge because of her dress or tatoos

- should i go in or not…lol

i will just say…i dont get it

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u can even tell by the conversations on the blog

- You can…because i cant…you making judgements of folks off of a (vent)blog??!?!?!!?!

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Get cho’ stuff sis!!!

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Yep u do.The blog is about pples perspectives,opinions and ideas.

Thats a lot to go by.Not 100% but a sure start.

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@Mr. DK, Nope not writing for any ex! I just believe in treating everyone right!

On topic: I have date some ladies who had some bad manners and sometimes after speaking with them about those bad manners they made an effort to clean it up! Ladies coming late to dinner thing is a no-no it cannot be tolerated my time is important!

Let’s get off the angry black women theme…. sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!

@Raqi that was a good topic yesterday!

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Sassy: You funny as hellz swelling up behind the keyboard and ish. Anyway, fool is a term I use because I don’t use the N-word but the fact remains I was taught when I was a CHILD by MEN how to treat women. You say your ego wasn’t involved huh but you think you can teach a GROWN AZZ MAN how to treat women… let me correct that you think you can teach a GROWN AZZ MAN how to treat you cause I’m going to assume you never dated a woman before to have the knowledge on how a man is to treat a woman. Like I said, all that swelling up behind the keyboard is funny as hellz especially when the blog is talking about angry black woman and respect.

DK: See what I mean about giving something to someone that hasn’t earned it?

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What’s Rita’s water ice? Is that a old time icee? A “slushie”, like Mr. Slush?

I’m jealous.

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Thank you Elijah. I just hate I wasn’t here to input more and explain my thoughts more.

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sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!

- have you seen this

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/27/desmond-hatchett-29-year_n_208393.html

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@cem…rita water ice is like a slushie but better…melts in your mouth..they have one in tucker by my job..and another i know of by piedmont park..its my lil date first date spot…who can turn down something sweet and me…lol

@leggs…hello lady..how have you been

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Enter your comments here

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Ared,dont hang with Mamba,she will corrupt u with her man repellant.

melo – I’m not worried about it. Like Staceye said, he milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Heck the two of us together may make an unstoppable duo.

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lol I have been known to be wrong..but remember our bet is that the Lakers will not win the Championship.

Excuse me? No it isn’t. The bet is that the Lakers will be in the finals. You have to wear your “I LOVE KOBE” shirt to the games. It’s a moot point after the fact.

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melo – I meant to ask you. Is your wife American, born and raised, or is she “zulu” too?

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ELIJAH….I love your 11:42…except the part about Orlando. I loves me some Dwight! He looks like he could have been the son of the late actress Madge Sinclair (The queen/mother n Coming to America)!

CEMMELI….were you peeping in my window as I got dressed this morning? Girl I am wearing the same thing. I wear cbangles everyday…I get all my colors from the Indian stores. But I have on a shrug with my dress! Giiiiiirrrrrl! We are twins today!

ELIJAH…”Let’s get off the angry black women theme…. sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!” DAYAM son…..you speaking gospel today! CHURCH!

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Ared-melo – I meant to ask you. Is your wife American, born and raised, or is she “zulu” too? LOL @ cause you are serious

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Ared,zulu but of a different tribe than me.Not very relevant(being diff tribe) to me per se, but since u american( i presume),thoght i might thrw it in there coz u might have other qstions.(and i be glad to share)

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major of women yes black, are very pugnacious

- NOT TRUE…there are some but they dont count….trust me they are angry for a reason..and even dr phil cant fix there deep seated anger..i avoid those types…

Im ashamed to have foreigners or other races, witness the blow-up of a black woman because she need everyone within earshot know how she felt, I guess thats standing up for oneself…

- blow up??….wow…my brothers..how far have we fallen…you ashamed because someone else is showing out…not all black women speak or represent all that is black women…i could go in deep but we need to stop with the whole one represents all..cause i can use my fingers and toes and yours and show alot of HIGH QUALITY sisters…hell there are just too many to choose from…pray for me….lol

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For Real – Ok but since you feel disrespected all bets are off.. Now doesnt your conscience feel better that you tried..

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@Rell, where in Tucker…I love slushies, icees. I feel a “jones” coming on! BRB!

- across from the walmart shopping plaza and they are giving them away for FREE until the end of the week so says the coupon on my desk..along with buy one get one free..yes!!!!!!!!!

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Ared,zulu but of a different tribe than me.

melo – Thanks. I was asking to see if it was a transition for her dating a guy from another country. But she is not American so it doesn’t matter.

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Everybody deserves a level of respect until they show they dont.. I mean basic respect is deserved by everyone. Thats the problem nobody uses the basic respect principle. I will respect you as long as you are respecting me..

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@Leggs. No the location is not secret. The production will be performed at Pointe South Community Center, 8049 Webb Road, Riverdale, GA (near GA Hwy 85). The cost is FREE!

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Oh, and Thanks.

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Rell – I saw that on FB, I love this CD. And that 112 helped me write my thesis in college…wow.

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Guys of blogsville:

I received this invite headed “Foreign Affair Invitation Atlanta seminar‏” and i dont know how.It simply landed in my inbox.
Happening this Saturday,30th May.
If u want me to forward it to you,email me at takpat78@gmail.com.
Its only relevant for guys!
The first line reads:Fed up with the same old unsuccessful dating options? Time for a change?

PS.Personally,i aint going coz u know why.But i know some of uall may actually luv it.

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115 degrees today. What the hell am I doing in this pit of hell?

On topic: Opening doors and whatnot doesnt take any effort and always yields good karma, if for nobody else but yourself.

On respect, if you let someone treat you in a way other than you like or deserve thats your fault.

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Diva- On topic (sort of) do you guys think it’s disrespectful for a guy to send a photo of his package in a text msg/email? What’s that about, anyway? H*LL YEAH!

This girl that I know always meets dudes that seem to think it is alright to send package pics to her via text message.. I couldn’t believe it! I have NEVER had a man do that to me and I KNOW that would be the ABSOLUTE last time I would speak to the dude! I don’t even like to get chain text messages/emails, silly pictures, jokes etc.. I am WAY too old for all that!

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On topic: Opening doors and whatnot doesnt take any effort and always yields good karma, if for nobody else but yourself.

Truth – Exactly. That whole “she didn’t look worthy of respect” attitude won’t get you past the pearly gates.

Do your job even if the other person isn’t doing theirs.

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WD, I’ve talked to quite a few females who have dealt with guys that have sent pics of their “package” in a text. The main reason some guys do that, as well as a lot of other trifling things, is very simple: at some point, it worked. Most guys operate on the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” line of thinking. Somewhere, there’s a chick who responded positively to his package pic and it yieled the desired results. I ain’t agreeing with it, but hey, that’s how some dudes roll.

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Elijah – Come on Guy. Youre making my eyes bleed.. Are you serious?? Everyone has something to be angry about but why.. It comsumes you. I take care of my child and my EX for that matter so why should someone be angry with me? Those blanket statements are a mess you know..

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On topic (sort of) do you guys think it’s disrespectful for a guy to send a photo of his package in a text msg/email? What’s that about, anyway?

Wise….eeeeeeeewwwwww. Please tell me that didn’t happen to you…I sure hope not.

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Dan – Now you know my Mom always say you do the right thing. Thats what I do, in most cases no matter what someone else does..

Yeah on that Drake.. I like the Soo Far Gone Mixtape.. Its more authentic..

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“We need to be on time for something other than free before 11″

I do not take folk’s time for granted. Time is a precious commodity but more precious is someone’s heart…<—that’s another lesson there.

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Raqi: common courtesy and respect are two different things. Which one are you talking about? I can and do give common courtesy but I will earn your respect and you will earn mines. I know what God spoke but since men have free will Jesus had to earn their respect by treating everyone the way he did. Jesus never said I am Jesus come pay your respects. He walked and then walked some more.

Rell: I looked at that link and ole boy is a busta and so are the chicks that deal with him.

Truth: If you take short breath it will cool the air as it enters your lungs or did I see that in an Eddie Murphy movie?

Wise: I think it shows the dude has not self respect or ability to talk to women. He is not capable of engaging a chick with his speak persona so he goes with all his has a picture of his wang.

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Melo – I deserved an @$$hole’s disrespect just because HE was an @$$hole? Seriously? That’s like saying I deserve to get robbed just cause I got money.

You know me. H#ll, you just saw me at ABC yesterday. You should know quite well that there is nothing about the way that I carry myself that would indicate that seing me a picture of your johnson is something that is acceptable to me. When it happened to me, I immediately called dude on it and simply disassociated myself with him.

The other side of that coin is idiots who ask me to send them a picture of my ‘in my skin’. Read the last line of Paragraph Two above.

Clearly, these were two individuals who did not know me very well.

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@ Wise – I think it’s SOOOO wrong on so many levels for a person to text pictures of their privates.

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PG – Stop talking to me about my Lakers. It gets my pressha up. Much like being a Raiders fan but at least the Lakers win (albeit in dramatic, Hollywood style fashion! )

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Mr. Smith If you are talking about random women blowing up, then that’s cool – but your initial post quoted mine and was totally out of context. I will admit that there are some women that exhibit those behaviors and that is precisely way the other ladies and I were saying that we used to go out of our way NOT to say anything when disrespected.

Oh and my crew will be having a good time tonight – no angry women in my bunch.

On being late – I’m a stickler for being on time and will leave someone in a heartbeat. With those that I care for, I’ve learned to cope by telling them a different time, coming a little late myself or occupying myself with a book or my iPhone. But that is one of my major pet peeves!

Sassy – I got my first package in email this year from a random dude. It shocked and angered me. Then a couple of weeks later, another dude did it. At that point I didn’t want to talk to ANYONE with a package. I was H-O-T! What angered me was I hadn’t had any type of sexual conversation with either of those dudes. Matter fact, we were in the initial phases of our conversations talking about things like what we like to do, etc. ARGH! Just thinking of those encounters gets me a little upset. Sorry Suckas!

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I watched that game last night and noticed 3 things:

1) Home-court means a lot fouls by the home team are not called and mysterious fouls by the visiting teams “appear”:

2) Carmelo Anthony had a really off night and wasn’t doing things to work himself back in the game (rebounding, defense);

and 3) if the performances that Lamar Odom, Shannon Brown, and Derek Fisher are more than an abberation (which is what they are), then the next couple of games are going to be good.

All that said, I’m still taking Denver

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SexxyCool,for a moment i was lost on the meaning of ur post.
He read u wrong.Like smeone said,thats proly his modus operandi and has wrked for him,maybe,in the past.

Sorry to hear u collected that garbage in ur mail!

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Leggs,i like ur proposal!
Lemme hush,three is a crowd.

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Thing is that sista will submit just the same if your game is tight enough. Instead of lowering your standard up your game.

The Truth – hugs to you for that one

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Tazz that’s just nasty wrong. I was asked to do the same by a man I dated and I hung up on him when he said it….I asked him to repeat himself and the azz said it again(had the nerve to use his “sexy” voice) so I promply hung up and never accepted any of his calls again….the nerve.

…alot of cats bolt to other nationalities because the chick is easier to control. Thing is that sista will submit just the same if your game is tight enough. Instead of lowering your standard up your game.

Truth well spoken…I definitely agree with that

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I wish this thing had spell check..should have been promptly…I’se sowwy.

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Thing is that sista will submit just the same if your game is tight enough.

Yeah he will have your azz up making steak and potatoes for him because he’s hungry and tired and had a long day at work even though your azz is snuggled up in the bed so excited to finally catch up on 90210 on the DVR!

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PoppaG – I’m learning to press the time issue with people that are way to late for me to wait as well. Just 2weeks ago for a road trip i had to kinda “check” my sister for having me to wait because she wanted to ride with me to south Georgia and I had to wait 2hrs for her and her family of 4, to ride! That’s my momma’s child!

My cousin did it to me before. She wants to go eat before a concert and i didn’t made it clear to her that i was not going to be there to do the dinner prior to the event. When i arrived at the agreed upon location she had left. Til this day i she still won’t say that I was not late because i didn’t want to meet her when she wanted to. We ended up hanging that day, but her problem is communication.

I’m sure your homeboy was looking “right cuuu-razy” when he realized you had gone on, to the flight.

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Leggs – Of course you can sit down so we can discuss some thangs.. Can I get you a drink? atlalien@yahoo.com.

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@Elijah

Hold on Patna!

“Black Men” have not left black women with the burden of single parenting. That is, quite simply the DUMBEST statment ever.

Black Men does not encapsulate the Black Male experience. Nor does the action of a few equate so haphazardly with an entire subset of race or gender.

Leave aside for a moment the varying statistics on single parents and the racial component that make up the “largest” statistical/numerical disparity that disproves your theory in its entirety, and let’s focus on “someone to blame”.

Without entering into the morality of abortion. A child is created when two parties actively participate in doing so. Thus, the genesis of that child is NOT ONE PARTIES FAULT over another. Secondly, there are protections and methods (including abstinence) that would prevent unwanted pregnancies. Lastly, adoption. Cultural mores and familial pressure notwithstanding, there are any number of options available to men and women in this country that find themselves in this predicament.

Now, admit your personal faults, point out the fault of other specific people, but DO NOT cast such a wide net when you make a specious argument such as the one you just made.

In the future when you make a statement or attempt to make a point, be mindful of your language, because your slip is showin’.

And that’s 2.

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Elijah, I hear what you’re saying, but I refuse to bear the brunt of a woman’s anger because of what the last kneegrow did to her. On that same note, I won’t make the next woman suffer for what the last woman did to me. Years ago, I had some Maury Povich drama with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I could have gone a different route and assigned her behavior to every other black woman, but I didn’t. For starters, I had run across many other black women who were just the opposite of her, and also, I had to shoulder my share of the blame for getting in that sitation. If you’re gonna be angry, direct that anger at the person or persons most responsible.

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TMAC, alot of cats bolt to other nationalities because the chick is easier to control. Thing is that sista will submit just the same if your game is tight enough. Instead of lowering your standard up your game.

- you right dawg…but what is funny they are ready even without you saying anything..i have a collection of fun stories i will share in the coming weeks..this last month as been quite interesting….but i will cosign they are ready…so says where i am going after work…lol

@sexyc…i know you..lol

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“TMAC, alot of cats bolt to other nationalities because the chick is easier to control ”

That is the biggest self misconception of a “black woman”. Just as a disclaimer, as the case for everything, there are exceptions to this rule, eventhough I have yet to meet a black woman who doesnt have highly inflated self view (look good, long hair, tall, big booty, edumacated, decent career, well paying job) any combination as the more of those things the more untouchable they become like heavenly droped angel. As if there is something special about being black woman and being so. Its absolutley crazy, I am being for real here.

I am blessed with to be from a place were girls are born black, too beautiful and God bless majority who have excelled in academics here in the States. So, for me, I dont have much tollerance for such “i am so and so Black woman” hoopla…plzzzzz,

So, no. I pass on you not because others are easier or have lower standard its because “I am all that Blackwomen” consider themselves a unique creatures and expect red carpet….

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@ Raqi – Your homegirl is going to late for her funeral. She’ll live longer.

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Hello you all…

On Topic

IMO there is a fine line between showing respect versus just some simple common decency/courtesy. There are so many different levels and just because I exhibit certain qualities (which to me is the norm…a no brainer) does not and I repeat, does not mean…that I respect said person…especially a stranger. This goes for some family as well. For instance, I could go over to one of my girlfriend’s grandmama’s house… and get offered a fresh slice of butter pecan pound cake from scratch and a nice cold chaser of a tall glass of fresh lemonade. I may see her uncle coming through at that very moment and offer to cut him a piece, while pouring him a tall glass myself…and pleasantly bringing it out to him and long before he could even pick his lips up to say “thank you” I’m already halfway back to the table to enjoy my Lil piece of heaven.

Does this mean that I respect him? Quite frankly, no it does not. But common courtesy nonetheless.

Some may view that as having some level of respect. I say, it doesn’t hurt to be cordial to folks…whether or not they’re donnin’ the mean-mug, jellies, even the saggy pants, as well as tattoos (which btw, I own ONE myself); and just to put it out there, it’s so well hidden most times that I tend to forget it’s back there. But I’m so often reminded of how well I carry myself, that once it’s revealed that there may be angel baby, who looks like me, peeking out… it’s taken as having a little edge to my feminine and subtle ways. So I’ve yet to experience someone treating me differently or disrespectfully based on something like that. I’ve shown (without looking for validation/approval) myself to be an individual that many have no problem exhibiting a level respect, let alone mere common decency.

Sometimes…heyal, many times I’ve found this little gesture to work like a charm in order to smooth away those rough edges, barriers, guards and even preconceived notions of the feeble-minded.

As far as I’m concerned, they can take my common courtesy any way they damn well please…I’ve done my part. It is up to them to do theirs.

Raqi So your “juice-getter” is busy taking advantage of using his short term disability, before Little Lizzy arrives, ehhh??? Glad he’s alright, and it’s a good thing that children heal faster since they’re younger.

Leggs Hey do ya’ thanga-thang, ma-ma…gon’ head and lead the pack…cool, yet confident! …beaming and all smiles

Ohhh, Miss Celie…I feels like sangin’! …and buckin’ at the same time. lol

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@TAZZEE…u are welcome…you should watch for the one day sale and get an extra 15 or 20% off… and lol at walking with shorts on, yes you might give the wrong impression…you crazy! lol

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its because “I am all that Blackwomen” consider themselves a unique creatures and expect red carpet….

Tmac – I’m just curious as why this seems “bad.” There are enough people walking around with low self esteem and a poor self image. Why shouldn’t one consider themselves “unique” and expect the “red carpet?”

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Raqi, i think we need more abortion in our commnity!

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Raqi

I’ve told my friend that too.

My wife claims it is because he is from the Caribbean. Her paternal grandfather branch of her family tree is from Barbados. They are late a lot. I didn’t attribute the islands to it, though.

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@tmac…stop it i say….lol…its not that bad…why do you listen when women talk that nonense anyway…LMAO…

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Jamoca Yep. I went all the way home just to make him a ham sandwich. No mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, cheese or nothing. Just bread and meat. He could have done that himself. He only needs one hand to do that.

The doctor is estimating 8 weeks of healing time for him.

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LOL Tazzee I see you got the joke without me having to post it.

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There is a Nile like difference between, “I am all that black woman” and having high self esteem.

If you say so. *shrugs*

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Rell – I know you know me. I miss you

- AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ISH i am gettin full…lol….i got you…time to burn down the house again…hell i will be out that way dis weekend…so ya know wings on you…lol

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His brother hooked us all up with some Beef Patties and Cocobread. (They are from Jamaica). So, he and his brother showed up to our room bearing food.

PoppaG Was it from a restaurant around Miami? There is one in Lauderdale that called “Jerk Station”…great eats! The culture in the area of that restaurant is Jamacian and Cuban.

I’m having withdrawls! Jamacian cuisine is one of my favorites!

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Cee- Maybe the gum companies are trying to tend to the folks with halitosis.. I love Obitz fruitini & Pepperrmint! Yummy

What’s up with all this West Indian People are always late stuff?

W8- Good Question.. I have NO answer

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W-Eight by calling dem Massa Jefferson.

Seriously though, more women should appreciate men more. More of us should acknowledge when you all do show us gentleman like acts. More women should not disrespect men by trying to berate or emasculate them for no reason at all.

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But dude has a point, some of these ladies out here want to treated like champange and lobster but only reciprocating with beer and cheetos.

Yeah, but that’s not what he was saying. He didn’t quality it with “reciprocation.” HE stated that they act like “they are all that” so you have a choice to not spend anytime with them at all from the first conversation.

So yeah, not the same thing, sorry.

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They are difficult to deal with, but worth having, IMO.

- They are not even difficult my dude…when we having problems with the women..actually its us having a problem with ourselves and it projects out..feel me…now that i have killed angry rell…now comes the love..

calling dem Massa Jefferson

- LOL…loves it….

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Ladies, how do you show respect towards men?

W8 – Mainly by being kind and appreciative. Making sure I thank him for his efforts and not by taking them for granted.

My first boyfriend taught me to reach over and open the door after he’s opened the door for me and is walking around on his side. I’ve found that’s a hit or miss with men. Most guys like it, others don’t want the woman opening doors for them period! So basically, I just follow his lead and make sure that how ever he wants it, is granted (within reason of course! ) )

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@Lioness- Why don’t you have an answer?
@Raqi- Good stuff@1:55

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W8, I really didnt think of it in only man/woman instances. If you came to the door I’d hold it too.

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“a Black woman is the finest thang on this Earf ”

May be that has something to do with thier big head…

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Enter your comments hereTruth – just so you know – the IT Nazi’s have blocked my IM access.

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BK,what Raqi say she do???
What u giving her credit for?

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Melo what? What is it you want from me? I have read my name at least in five or your comments but I have no idea what you are talking about. Please if you want me to discuss something with you make it plain. Okay.

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Raqi – Youre Dude must’ve sold his soul to get a woman like you

what im asking?

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@Cee

Well, the day I get married, if she has a child, yepper I’m adopting. Partly out of “obligation” and more importantly because that child is now my responsibility.

Again, the (in)actions of someone else has no bearing in who I am or what I do. The fact that the non-custodial parent is a deadbeat is irrelevant but for its affect on that child.

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Infamous -I ain’t taking notes for Raqi, that chic will get cha’ pregnant.

NOT trying to go there!

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…Jamoca now takes the stage, front & center

You knew you had me, With your sensuous charm
Yet you looked so alarmed, As I walked on by

An awesome wonder, You had to know why
I did not respond, to carry on

Chorus:
Love me in a special wayyy…
What more can I sayyy?…
Love me now
(Repeat)

Love me now
‘Cause I’m special, Not the average kind
Who’ll accept any line, That sounds good

So reach into your chain of thought
(Try to find something new)
Try to find something new
(’Cause what worked for you)
What worked so well for you before, For me just won’t do

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Dan, slam on the brakes there. That adopting the kid thing may seem honorable but no matter how much money you kick in you’ll never be the father of that child. Most likely you’ll just wind up being the one to pay for something you didnt even create. Love is cool but the legal system is a mushafugga. With the divorce rate being what it is you have a pretty good at mailing a check to a chick for a child you didnt even father. Hell you didnt even get to bust a nut. Obligations about to get you into a whole lotta ish.

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ARED/DAN/MELO…I refuse to even acknowwledge TMAC. It seems like he comes at me for personal reasons. Rejection is a biotch..I know! But anyway, everywhere Black woman turn they are being bombarded with the epitomy of beauty being anything BUT them. Hence the reason for Essence & Ebony, etc…we had to make our our mark. Now we could stand there and let the disrespect from some brothas and others beat us down or come out swinging with our heads held high. That same, “I refuse to be broken” spirit is what has carried our familes for generations. It’s no secret brothas have dropped the ball in our families leaving women to be both mother and father. Now I am proud of the men that are doing their part and not being like the losers before…however do I think they deserve some medal for it…NO! You are simply doing what you should be doing! Now am I thinking that I am so unique based on my races…no! My uniqueness is from my personality, my ambition, my goals, my leader not follwer mentality…need I go on. If I as a woman do impower myself and hold myself in high regard…who in the hell will. We have enough women staying in bad relationships & viloent situations because their spirit and esteem is so low that they think they can not do better or that they are deserving of it. I am sure all of the men on here with Daughters would want their daughter to hold themselves in high reagrd so that they are not like these women I speak of. I must say..the emotional beating I have taken over the years from sperm-donor…aka Bio-Dad took a toll on me for the most of my life. I can say now that I finally let that self hatred of myself go and can for the first time look in the mirror and maybe see what other see. What I am saying it…he should have been building me up…but he tore me down. And as a child that can cause lots of issues that may never heal. That is an example of where having a crappy father is worse than none at all…doing more damage than good. So before somebody speaks ill of that woman who loves herself…..take a moment to think where that confidence came from. Most likely she probably went through hell & high water to get there!

RAQI…I will not emasculate a man as long as he doesn’t try to dehumanize me! I am not your dog…I am your partner. Partners are equal…supposedly! As the saying goes..God created woman from Adam’s rib at his side to be at his side…not from his head to be above him…but NOT from his feet to be below him. Alot of my problem is with this subservient role men think women should play. He is human…just like I am!

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I feel like a bish if a chick drives me around

me to Truth,besides,my Queen cant drive!
By the time we get there ,her blood pressure will be up coz i check the driving all the time.So she wont touch the stearing wheel in ma presence anyway.
I hate it when a driver wont put turn signals on when they turn.
How can a driver that supposedly passed a driving test just turn left or right like that,like a bush snake…no warning….nada!

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as long as he doesn’t try to dehumanize me

Staceye that’s why I said for no reason. I am nobody’s doormat.

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@ Dan – I thought you meant adot the child to someone else’s family. Not the step parent.

Ok gotcha.

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Infamous DK We take notes from Raqi – but what selfless act are you referring to?

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ARED/DAN/MELO…I refuse to even acknowwledge TMAC

Staceye – It’s clear that he has issues with the black woman. Maybe he’s been taken down a peg or two by one.

So to quote Robin in the movie Waiting to Exhale: “A white woman can have your azz!”

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@Ared- Yup it’s the little things that count

W8 – I really try not to forget this because I love having a guy take care of me. So I always show my appreciation because I know without it it’s the quickest way for him to stop doing it!

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I am always polite and in my book, that means opening doors, letting my lady friend enter first, letting her pick her seat at a restaurant, walking on the sidewalk between her and traffic, all that stuff. But I will have to say that women have brought on themselves the fact that some men no longer practice southern politeness. With the “independent woman” comes a price in some guys minds. For me, its all about attitude. If a lady has an attitude that seems like she “expects” to be treated a certain way, it is a major turn off for me and although I will treat her as a lady, for my taste, I would only do it on ONE date.

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Dan, learning and growing up in front of a chick are 2 totally different things. It takes a stronger woman to watch you fall all over yourself while you try to figure out what you as a man are capapble of. Your woman never fantasized about her dream man breaking down because he couldnt figure out he next step. Set your path, plot your course and you’ll surely pick up passengers.

On the adoption thing, man that sounds like fantasy island to me. Hey, its your loot she’ll enjoy so do whats in your heart.

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Melo – I’m blushing now…your support as well as donations towards our well-known, non profit organization of The WAKW = Whole Azz Kind of Women…will not go overlooked. Your buffoonstress may not take so kindly of these …but hey, Rasa Devi at least I’m raising up a little money for our cause! Lol…

Heavy W8 Champion – Love how you did the 360 on us ladies.

And it most definitely does go both ways, but I will admit while we womenfolk are a bit more complicated when it comes to our daily needs…as well as SOME of us who are just an embarrassment to their daily wishes, expectations and demands…versus your simple, yet so easy to satisfy “requests” ….I can honestly admit, there is a heavy load to bear. That’s where I’d say that I have to probably coming into play at that very moment. Because it definitely doesn’t look easy. But the efforts as well as time, does not go unrewarded, unrecognized nor overlooked. I have a laundry list of things that I can list that I have done to show not only a man, but just an individual my appreciation….so much that I’m often times told when rushing towards an half opened door, to just “take my time and watch my step”.

Little gestures like the ones that have been mention are always brought to the forefront…now just imagine the big ones.

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Maybe there’s a mirror around you can look into.

Truth –

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You send me swingin’…Oh, you send me swingin’

chorus

I wait for a dayyyy…One sweet gentle sway

Sends your love right my wayyyy…

Oh, you send me swingin’ You send me swingin’

Oh, you send me swingin’

I never thought I’d really find, Someone so beautiful and kind

Oh what you’ve done to me, With just the little things you do

That’s got me crazy over you, And it’s getting stronger

When I’m with you, I fall deeper in love (swingin’)

This feeling is the one thing, My heart is sure of

So I’llll…(chorus)

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@Truth

Duly noted. But there’s a spiritual reason that I make that statement. So as to not get that conversation started with you, we’ll just say agreed.

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W8 – I absolutely love men and I treat all of them kindly, and yes hold doors and what not – until they mistreat me. Even then, I’ve really only cussed 2 men out in my life and I’ll probably never even do that again. Having a great dad and 4 brothers, I just love everything about men and love to be around them and talk to them!

Of course, SO gets treated like a king. I don’t hang all over him, but I show much appreciation for the excellent way he treats me. I show affection and concern. It definitely is the little things that count and add up.

Just yesterday, he gave me a new portable GPS for my car. I needed one, but I’m always Mapquesting everything and printing out directions. How thoughtful!

I combed his little girls hair and checked his son’s math homework and helped him fix a bathroom faucet.

I showed much appreciation for his kind gesture.

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Dan, spirit doesnt have jack to do with the law making you send cash if things dont work out. You adopt them and its your bill. Sorry, i dont roll like that but like you said no need for that discussion here.

Staceye/Tazz I’m hurt to the quick I wasnt “dark” enough to attract you before I jumped into this oven. Dont get to excited though, I’ll be like old dried up overcooked meat before this is over. I’m not built for this kind of heat. /we feel relieved when the temps drop to 100 degrees around here.

Sniper, last gf drove for me 1 time in 2 years and that was because i didnt want to drive my big truck to the arena to see a hockey game. Even then I wasnt comfortable.

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Raqi, I dont think uhuru got with Spock. She was shagging Kirk i think, or was it scotty?

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I’ve really only cussed 2 men out in my life and I’ll probably never even do that again.

kimmie – same here, well you can’t count my elementary and junior high school days, LOL. Because I didn’t have any brothers and no man in the home (regularly) I used to jump bad at boys all the time. Until I got my lip swole in the 8th grade…that stopped right then. Even so, I don’t fuss men out, I might cut him quick if he disrespects me then I’ll walk away.

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mytw♥tatas Thanks… come back now ya hear!

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Truth,so what u doing with ur money bro,besides spending it with the mullahs over there??
U might wanna put it in stocks now coz this revcovery is for real i think!

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Melo, I’m stashing all of it. I take out a little for me and the rest goes to the bank. We’ll see on this recovery.

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Staceye,

Nothing personal, and you taking the you rejecting me a bit seriously as you did for my 5 2 256LB physic comman…

That aside, I am not advocating for any girl fall for anything, have low self esteem, nor fall for a dude who doesnt have his life together. Absolutley not.

My beef is with the attitude of you and yours alike who go above and beyound (sorta you coming here telling the cyber world while you have no bussiness in the whole relationship deal) to show how ‘independent’ they are, how they dont need ‘a man’, how ‘free’ they are. My beef is those woman who think just because they are black, every ‘good’ thing they are is a bit elevated.

I know many many decent woman who are reserved and do it and such a classy and lady a like way. Show their independence, intelegence, beauty not by shouting and barking anywehre and everywhere and to anybody.

I dont know you and you dont know me, so there cant be anything personal beef. My beef is with the “i am independent black woman’ mantra advocate, be you, my lil cousin, or first lady.

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@Raqi, you never answered me about Hitched or Ditched. Are there embarrassing moments?

You show your man respect simply by letting him be the Man and taking care of those things that make him happy to come and be at home (if you’re living togeter). If simply dating, then you take care of those things that make him want to remain your boyfriend. Only you know what those are!

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I’ve really only cussed 2 men out in my life and I’ll probably never even do that again.

kimmie – same here

Tazzee/Kimmie – The only place I’ve cuzzed guys out is on the innanet, like via email or this blog!

I’m very aware that toe to toe I max out at 130. Nor have I ever been a fan of getting “shaked the ish out of.”

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Truth,here is a lil nugget,in 18 mths,by the time everyone works up to realize that times are good,the stock mrket has picked that up already,its too late.
Take a lil risk on my advice.Just 25% of ur stash and stickk it in der.
I havnt lost yet since i put mine back in March.

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@Kimmie- Hey!

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@Tmac

Not wading into that “other stuff” I think what most of the fellas have been saying has been real accurate.

Think of it like this: A dude can’t tell you nothing ’bout how to act in a given situation, esp. if you grown or feeling extra grown at that moment, right? Then, why give that power to a woman that you feel is behaving improperly or as a “more important person” than you feel she is?

If she she hit you with the “I am woman hear me roar”, listen and respond by kindly ignoring it and going on with either; what you were going to say anyway, or the rest of your life.

We give folks waaaaay too much power to affect us.

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W8 – Hey Dawg!

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You know what hurts my feelings?

My child has “only child syndrome” and when he comes home tonight from hanging with a friend today since 1/2 day at school ad lunchtime. He’s going to come home all sappy and looking lonely in the eyes. He’s at his bestfriend and Christopher leaves for New York for the summe tomorrow after the last day of school. He’s gonna act like he’s cool but i can tell by the eyes, and body language that he misses his friend. It hurts my feelings too because I remember those days of not having anyone to play with at home. My grandmother raised my sister…and sometimes i longed for her to live with me and moms. But it never happened. “only child syndrome” is hard on a kid.

Okay i’m off my vent.

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And the thing is Leggs they were just going thru the motions. (I know I said that already). Only when both sides of the family stated their peace did it all get put out on the table. Neither one of them obviously did not state their greivances before then.

How many people are caught in that situation? I kept wondering why were the together and how did the manage that long. Was it for convenience of not having to deal with a breakup? Did they both hope the other would eventually change and it all work out? Four years is a long time to be on different paths and not say anything. She was sort of a party girl and he was a smotherer yet he stated that the marriage would be for her. He was fine not being married but wanted her to more “wifey”. <=== That’s my interpretation of it.

The wife and commitment without the ring.

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Cee

I hear ya. My nephew is an only child. He even tried to bribe my sister to have another baby by promising to wash her car every week for a year.

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@Cee

I grew up like an only child, he’ll miss his friend no doubt, but we all have “summer” friends. He won’t understand it, but this is an opportunity for him to get out and make a whole range of “new/added” friendships.

He’ll be aiight, kids are tougher than we give ‘em credit for sometimes

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Leggs- That was me too Also, your suggestion to Cee is a wonderful idea!

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Cemeeli – Well get busy and make him a sibling.

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JAMOCA I done tole you I don’t too much care to share any bufoonery witcha…we girls but come on nah. Tom foolery? Yais, all day erry day. But my zulu is off limits. Cept when he’s being a raving lunatic standing in his shower berating lil Melo for his circumstances. He’s all yours, then…

W8 You know, I think the easiest part of being respectful of men is acknowledgment and appreciation of their manhood. And trying to remember even when you’re not attached to them, their kindness doesn’t necessarily have an ulterior motive. HATE when I witness the third degree when a guy is just being nice. And whether or not ladies are interested, not sure why turn downs require more than a polite no. (Granted he wasn’t approaching sideways) I think everything’s suspect when you don’t value yourself as anything more than @zz. So you naturally assume that’s what every dude is tryna get at. Heavy sigh….

I want a coqui from the man on the corner of 3rd Ave & 149th Street.

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What prompted this is that the mother called and asked permission to take him out for Pizza and somewher to play basketball with Christopher. I’m thinking he’s going to be in overkill and REALLY be sad when he comes home.

I wanted to tell her “He’s allergic to fun”. .

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Cemeeli – Well get busy and make him a sibling

Infamous it’s too late now. I think about my daughter and given what the age difference is going to be between she and her brothers she will be raised like an only child. My youngest is 14 years old now. In 4 years is off to college. She will just be going to pre-school at that time. She will be the only child in the house by the time is old enough to remember back to being a child.

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Thanks for the pointers. The pen pal idea is neat.

Melo – My folks are in South Ga. and my sister’s kids are 5 & 2 years old. His other bestfriend got out of school last week and left for Florida, Saturday.

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ARed – His kids are not here either.

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I wanted to tell her “He’s allergic to fun”.

The things we do to spare our children. But, that was funny! I’m curious, please let us, sorry, let ME know tomorrow how he was when he got home today…thank you!

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ARed – His kids are not here either.

Cemeeli – Dang.

I have two sisters, but my mother would ship us off to my grandparents for the summer. Then we were reunited with my 5 other cousins. We’re all around the same age. It was the only time I got to experience having “brothers.” Boys are so different, voilent and messy!

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LEGGS Are you enjoying the cocktails I sent over to the lounge? their on the house.

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Cee, i feel ur pain.
My boy is almost 4 and thankfully he has his 8 yr old cousin to play with.And my son worships his cousin…. too,too,too much!!!.

It wld have been harder without my nephew coz the girls are a lil older than him.
Boys need other boys

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W8- I agree

Random thought: I love Jaime Fox’s Digital Girl Song.. Too Sexy

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Cemeeli is he old enough to get a summer job?

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Ared- Are they the Victoria Secret ones?

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“I think everything’s suspect when you don’t value yourself as anything more than @zz. So you naturally assume that’s what every dude is tryna get at.” – That’s real talk right there….

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@Elijah

You the one that lumped all “black men” into the same boat in your post, I was merely pointing out how wrong that was.

That said, admittance is the first step to recovery. But howza bout focusing on fixing you and yours before going “macro”. Problems like politics are local, my boy.

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TMAC….whatever son!There is nothing wrong with being independent. I think nobody should be dependent of another. There is nothing wrong with someone who perfectly happy being single. Nor is there anything wrong wiht someone desiring one. The problem of codependcy is what bothers me. Its usually the ones who feel they “need” man rather than wanting him are the ones who end up with the dirtbags who beat down thier self esteem. They will allow certain behavior based on desperation. The woman who simply desires a man is someone who knows to love herself more than any man. As I stated before….my self love has been a slow process for me. I had to love me in order to know what I do not deserve or what I will not allow. I no longer would try to change myself to be who a guy wanted me to be. I will only be who I want to be. Nor will I be that chick that turns the blind eye to a man’s misdoings simply because of my fear that he may leave. My self love has taught me to not try to hold on to something that should not be. Love (other than the love of self) is a 2 way street. And there are certain things a man would not do or say if he could love me. So now I will call a guy on his behavior…and then let it be. If he does it again…that is just who he is and I will not try to change him. We can go our separate ways.

CEMEELI..I loved being an only child. I found so many ways to entertain myself! But I know I am one one in a million that feel that way. Weird I am! Hey my homegirl has an 11 year old son…they can play. He plays football though so I am not sure how much time he will have.

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My Random Thought – I look terrible in fluorescent lighting. I wish I could bring a lighting designer into my office….(Oh, the vanity…lol)

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Yep Melo- Boys need boytime.

I get on his 10.YEAR.OLD. nerve lately! awww…

The close buddy is leaving for Africa for a month in July. Now check this. His mother (american) has been married to E’s dad since he was born (He’s american Atlanta native). When E was nine months dude moved to Africa tell her he wanted to live in “the motherland” because “the man” has warped the black man’s identity here in the states. She had been going to Africa EVERY christmas and summer for 9 years to see her husband. He lives in a village, no electricity, only 2 beds in the hut, and a table. I’m like WHT is that?!!!! He lived well here.

If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage an

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If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage anulled.

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Raqi I love you thinking. Publix takes ‘em at what age?

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….okay, then 5-0-3 it is!

LOL @ Tatas!…and Melo, mayne you ain’t nuthin’ but trubbuh’!lol

…now let me clear my throat!…aaacccchhhemmm…(cough, cough)

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Yeah

Run baby, run, run
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a man
Takin’ full command
Cause we’re

Livin in a world that’s oh so strange
Boy don’t let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that’s oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Time’s a wastin
Don’t you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain’t no tellin where you’ll land

Sweet love and sunshine
If it’s all in the air
Then it’s all on your mind
Breathe baby
Come back to the world
Dig up all your pearls
Teach the boys and girls, hey

Livin in a world that’s oh so strange
Boy don’t let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that’s oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

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ARed – Where are you car shoes? You know…the comfy ones!!!

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Heavy W8 – Mayne! Get out my playlist!!!….lol Seriously, I was just listening to a few of those on Imeem…I love Imeem!!! LOL

Mo/Kimmie – I love that song too as well as Mint Condition!…a beautiful song to wake up in the morning to…

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Sexy Cool – You look Al Green Simply Beautiful from here..

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ARed – Where are you car shoes? You know…the comfy ones!!!

Cemeeli – The only other pair of shoes I have in my car are my stripper shoes – 6 inchers. They actually aren’t that bad on the feet, but may give the wrong impression at happy hour!

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Leggs – Hmmmm…so what’s or will be the occasion? …Don’t. Say. Nothin’. lol

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If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage anulled

First of,thats real luv,if she hasnt been philandering over here and him doing the same over there! But as u can see,all relatiosnhips have their own glue,the outsider,u wont even have to know.

He lives in a village, no electricity, only 2 beds in the hut, and a table thats village life for the most part,no electricity but the other amenities depend on how hard the man of the house worked.Others will have a city home and a country home for the most part.
Does ur friend go to Africa too,smetimes and which part/country???

I wld think the mother is doing it for his son too, so he can have a relationsip with the father and not lose his roots.
See how Obama got swallowed up by babylon,the man dont know his totem!!

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Aaawwww, DK – you say the cutest isht. lol

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W8 – Funny my baby making list has Push it by Salt and Pepa.. Ooohh Baby baby oohh baby baby. Get up on this.. Push it real good.

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Lioness there is an old saying.

“While men are dreaming (sleeping), women are scheming”. LOL

I was looking thru the AMEX membership rewards catalog last night while sitting in bed and saw that bag. I looked to see if Macy’s had it and they do. Now how can I get it. hmmm LOL

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okay, das’ my cue…

If I gave you my love,
I tell you what Id do
Id expect a whole lotta love outta you

simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
beautiful
simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
beauti..
simply beautiful
simply beautiful
simply beautiful
simply beautiful

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Screen on the Green starts tonight at Centennial Olympic Park. Tonight’s flick is Back to the Future.

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Staceye are you sure you have never done this before? LOL

Rell that’s an excellent idea. Not only do I get the purse I get a new outfit also. Puurrfect.

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RAQI…minus the baby carrying…I sho’ have! Gotta love my parents!

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@Staceye- See and I just said something real nice about you today..and i’m allergic to Mayo..(shakes my head women)
@DK-LMAO
@Raqi- Just use the points and get the purse I wouldnt mind plus you are having the baby and preggo women can get away with stuff…just make sure you give him some of that good preggo loving when you show him the purse.

My “baby making” playlist is 72 hours long (just let it play in the background all weekend..lol
On Deck:
Sex Songs Remix-Maxwell
Love 5:05 -Musiq Souldchild
Grind With Me 4:02 Pretty Ricky
Erotic City (unedited!) 7:27 Prince
Do Me Baby 7:44 Prince
Insatiable 6:39 Prince
Down Low (x-rated remix) 4:30 r kelly
Seems Like Your Ready 5:39 R kelly
Honey Love 5:07 R Kelly
Slow Dance 5:05 R kelly
Prototype 5:38 Raheem Devaughn
EVerytime I See Your Face 4:33 Rome
Can’t Get Enough of You 4:13 Tamia
Last First Kiss 4:40 Tamia
Whatever You Want 4:50 Tony Toni Tone
(Lay Your Head On My) Pillow 6:11 Tony Toni Tone
How Do You Want It 4:47 Tu Pac & Jodeci
Signs of Lovemaking 4:06 Tyrese
Superstar (Interlude) 1:05 Usher
Superstar 3:12 Usher
Bad Girl 4:22 Usher
That’s What It’s Made For 4:38 Usher
Can U Handle It? 4:39 Usher
Seduction 4:34 Usher

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Ared – Speaking of Screen on the Green…I think those great no matter if it’s a first date or an established relationship.

Jamoca – very true. I’m looking forward to going and snuggling with someone I really like! With the current, we did the laser show at Stone Mtn and that was the first time he kissed me, ironically fireworks followed but I hear that was part of the show.

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@DK, love Salt N Pepa. That’s a great dancing song!

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Rell – Because thats too eas. We shouold read their minds and just magically appear with the purse, dress and shoes to match. Look here ladies if your man can do all that pull down his pants and check his nether regions because he is or has been tampered with…

Raqi – Just show it to him and say I like this.. or say “Score it for me honey and I’ll rock your world”.. No just tell him you like it and it would be nice if you had it..

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Raqi, I’ve never had an issue with a woman driving me anywhere. As I mentioned earlier, I usually do the bulk of the driving and it doesn’t bother me at all, but still, it’s a very nice gesture when a woman offers to drive.

Cee, I grew up as an only child and I had no issues at all. There was a brief period of time when I wanted a younger sibling, but I got over that ish real quick. lol

To whoever asked about why men want justification for rejection: Again, that goes back to lack of home training and just straight up ignorance. Rejection is something that all men have to learn to deal with. The only thing most of us ask is that if the guy approaches them respectfully, that you return that respect in the rejection. Nothing irks me more than if I approach a woman respectfully and she give me a look as if I belong in a leper colony or something like that. On the flipside, I don’t worry about the reason that I’m rejected. I just keep it moving on to the next one.

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**I just chalked it up to some folks just not having seen enough solid relationships in their lives or something**

that’s prolly it! i recently asked a friend about two different couples and how the families were doing. their both divorced! wth is going on? ppl are not putting in the necessary work to make their marriage successful.

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Leggs – Yes. Yes it is a great Dancing song.. (Said with a devilish grin)

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I’m setting a record with misspells today! Go CEE!!!

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@DJ- I just like to drive I dont mind if the woman drives sometimes but I just automatically drive…only times I dont drive is after training or a intramural bball or football game

I agree with you on the rejection thing also

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W8….you know I loves you boo! But we’ve gotta keep it on the low. My man TRUTH may come back from Kuwait on the warpath because he can’t drink and it’s 200 degrees over there!

RAQI..if guilt doesn’t work….we have to step it up to holding out on the booty…while walking around naked…..

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DJ Sniper – I’m just gonna allow him to feel whatever. He’ll be fine. Just makes me feel bad a lil. I know how that is.

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meant “now” listening

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When its time(after my kids get into college),no thanx to social security,im gone.

melo – The exchange between you and Cee is striking a chord with me. New boo is from Senegal, though he hasn’t lived there since he was 15. He’s complained about the sterotypes of African’s in the work place, that they are stupid (because they have accents) and lazy. He works very hard to counter those stereotypes, but I know it’s frustrating.

Now I’ve got to worry about him ditching me for Africa?!

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@ Melo – He was some kind of smart guy, into architect made a good bit of change.

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I didn’t know that.

PG – How can that be that you didn’t know something?!

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New boo is from Senegal, though he hasn’t lived there since he was 15

hence the earlier qstion to melo! Light bulb

Senegalese guys have madd swag tho.And females luv the french.
Good luck Ared.

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Kimmie, that song is Can’t Let Go by Anthony Hamilton.

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Is it true that if you have sex with someone from Africa, you can no longer donate blood to the American Red Cross? Or is that just an urban myth?

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@PG- on the 72 hours..just a weekend in house session…you know keeping her influenced with the music playing all weekend long ..besides we arent leaving the house anyway, might as well slow dance a little, have some intimate cooking sessions, massages, and all of the other things you dont post on a public forum..lmao

Football season really needs to get here or I am going to mess around and be in a relationship..lol

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That d@mn song kept me with Sh!thead WAAAAYYYY longer than I should have been. j/k – kinda…lol

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Is it true that if you have sex with someone from Africa, you can no longer donate blood to the American Red Cross?

SexyCool –

DO NOT DONATE BLOOD IF:

You have ever tested positive for HIV,
You have ever injected yourself with drugs or other substances not prescribed by a physician,
You are a man and have had sex with another man, even once,
You have hemophilia or another Blood clotting disorder and received clotting factor concentrate,
You have engaged in sex for drugs or money since 1977,
You have lived in western Europe since 1980,
You have been held in a correctional facility (including jails, prisons and/or detention centers) for more than 72 hours in the last 12 months,
You were born in, lived in or had sex with anyone who lived in, or received Blood products in Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Gabon, Niger or Nigeria since 1977 (this list changes frequently; updates are very important) or,
You are, or have been a sexual contact of someone in the above list.

NOTE: There is a special watch for potential donors who have visited or lived in England/United Kingdom from 1980 to 1999, and those who have lived and/or worked in Western Europe since 1980.

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Rell – You know I found it works best if I’m just there to put down the plastic.. Let her pick out what she wants while I just chill off to the side. You know they love to let other babes see that plastic drop from his pocket and he’s not tripping. Not even paying attention actually except for the obligatory.. “You like nice Honey” And of course grab the bags when ya’ll leave. But again that was for ex-wifey when we were cool..

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ARed – The lady that does my braiding is form Senegal. I really like her work!

Uh…okay. I’ll let him know maybe they are cousins…

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SCool – I second that!…a little LOL…but I sorry, it’s still the ish tho…love it!

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Dang – SexyCool! Imma keep myself over from round shhhead convo. You seem as if you wanna give him a new song something that will require a visit to rehab, maybe.

j/k

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Mrs. PG is a bigger fan than I am of football, though. She actually gets mad when her teams lose. Last year she broke a vase when Buffalo lost late in a game.

She is super competitive from her days of gymnastics.

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Tatas – You know him scurred!!!…you see he knows better than to spit that mess over in these parts. Jamo shuts it all down! Jamoca’s now doing Lil’ Moca’s evil genius laugh….Aaaaahhhhaaaahaaaa

Kimmie – you all have a wonderful trip! Yes girl…bump that, naw blast it! I love the beat too. lol

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Kimmie – Don’t let Anthony give you a “new look”. He does a hellava job setting the mood.

You know Raqi left her baby dust over there by the front door.

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She’s very active as the grandmother. I guess she feels obligated since her son left them like that

there is more tho the story,seems

Sexxycool,SMDAH.I got no words.

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Cee – You bad girl, spreading Raqi’s dust around!LOL!!

Jamoca – Thanks, I know I’ll have a good time, but the kids are going to Florida with aunt & cousins. Me & boo will have the house all to ourselves for 2 weeks!!LOL!!

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okay…here’s a personal favorite of mine…you all enjoy. G’nite my people.

Let me be patient let me be kind
Make me unselfish without being blind
Though I may suffer Ill envy it not
And endure what comes
Cause hes all that I got and
Tell him…

In the night time, in the morning, in the evenin’ baybeh..

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@DJ- I’m excited about the Falcons also..be a fan since the early 80’s but I’m Georgia down..Hawks,Braves,Falcons, Bulldogs..ride or die..for life…I am an absolute UGA Fanatic and i’m not ashamed of it..lol

@PG- The Vol?Gator game is going to be something else..I sitll haven’t figured Kiffin out…and as a Bulldog you already know I hate everything Gator

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Kimmie – That’s even betta.

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@Kimmie- Do you still go to Homecoming? I think last year was my final year going for awhile

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W8 – I work in sports marketing, but our clients are mainly colleges, bowl games and the NCAA.

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