Put your foot down
One of the frustrating things about the dating scene is dealing with disrespect. It seems inevitable that you run into that person who is inconsiderate, inexperienced, or flat out clueless. You would think that the older we get, the less likely we are to meet this type of person. Sadly, that is not always the case and then you have to put your foot down.
If a guy has some bad behavior that is unacceptable to me, I always wonder how he has managed to get away with it. I mean, all the women he dated never told him when he was being a jerk? Have you ever met or dated someone who was unaware of their bad dating behavior? Did you call them out on it? How did they respond.
Are you guilty of any behaviors that others have called out before? I once had a guy call me out on being late all the time. He finally had to put his foot down and let me know that he wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. So much for being fashionably late! He saw it as disrespectful and he let me know. I quickly corrected that problem and now I am always on time or early for dates
How do you put your foot down or call someone out without alienating them?
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478 comments Add your comment
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:12 pm
okay, das’ my cue…
If I gave you my love,
I tell you what Id do
Id expect a whole lotta love outta you
you gotta be good to me
Im gonna be good to you
there’s a whole lotta things you and I
could do
hey hey
hey hey hey
simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
beautiful
simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
beauti..
simply beautiful
simply beautiful
simply beautiful
simply beautiful
Rell - swag surfin on you benchs!!!
May 28th, 2009
4:12 pm
@raqi…why not just show him the bag and ask him what he thinks of the look..tell him before you explode you wanted to get something cute and go out on the town with him…show him a dress or a pair of shoes you want to pair with it…then say i was thinking of getting this while its on sale…it will really go well with (fill in the blank)….
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:12 pm
Screen on the Green starts tonight at Centennial Olympic Park. Tonight’s flick is Back to the Future.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:14 pm
Melo – He has not been home since he left here! The son and the mom is traveling there for all visits. The LOVE is definitley holding it together. And yea lately she dates, but from my understanding it’s just dating.
My point is. If he feel the “motherland” is better than ole USA (where his home, his son, his wife is) but up and leaves…there some mental problems there. This warped thinking country? Okay WHY even leave your beloved family? Why subject them to such? Why they traveling and your aren’t? Yea, the sons needs that connection, but what happens with your son/family all the other moments when they are needing you other than the lil Christmas and summer visits?
Raqi
May 28th, 2009
4:17 pm
Staceye are you sure you have never done this before? LOL
Rell that’s an excellent idea. Not only do I get the purse I get a new outfit also. Puurrfect.
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:18 pm
Ared – Speaking of Screen on the Green…I think those great no matter if it’s a first date or an established relationship. We have those down here too…not the same name, but the theme…it gives the same effect…especially watching the old heads when they’re still so in love….yeah, I really love those.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 28th, 2009
4:19 pm
RAQI…minus the baby carrying…I sho’ have!
Gotta love my parents!
Beautiful
May 28th, 2009
4:20 pm
hey MYTWO! i can’t decide sometimes if you’re with me or against me? lol. gon head on then.
i decided to take the summer off. got a lot on my to do list. my youngest is leaving for dad’s until august. i’m so blessed it ain’t funny.
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
4:21 pm
@Staceye- See and I just said something real nice about you today..and i’m allergic to Mayo..(shakes my head women)
@DK-LMAO
@Raqi- Just use the points and get the purse I wouldnt mind plus you are having the baby and preggo women can get away with stuff…just make sure you give him some of that good preggo loving when you show him the purse.
My “baby making” playlist is 72 hours long (just let it play in the background all weekend..lol
On Deck:
Sex Songs Remix-Maxwell
Love 5:05 -Musiq Souldchild
Grind With Me 4:02 Pretty Ricky
Erotic City (unedited!) 7:27 Prince
Do Me Baby 7:44 Prince
Insatiable 6:39 Prince
Down Low (x-rated remix) 4:30 r kelly
Seems Like Your Ready 5:39 R kelly
Honey Love 5:07 R Kelly
Slow Dance 5:05 R kelly
Prototype 5:38 Raheem Devaughn
EVerytime I See Your Face 4:33 Rome
Can’t Get Enough of You 4:13 Tamia
Last First Kiss 4:40 Tamia
Whatever You Want 4:50 Tony Toni Tone
(Lay Your Head On My) Pillow 6:11 Tony Toni Tone
How Do You Want It 4:47 Tu Pac & Jodeci
Signs of Lovemaking 4:06 Tyrese
Superstar (Interlude) 1:05 Usher
Superstar 3:12 Usher
Bad Girl 4:22 Usher
That’s What It’s Made For 4:38 Usher
Can U Handle It? 4:39 Usher
Seduction 4:34 Usher
Rell - swag surfin on you benchs!!!
May 28th, 2009
4:22 pm
@RAQI…the mouth piece is golden and my mind is always moving on ways to make life work for me…i am a master at getting what i want…well at least half the time….
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:23 pm
Ared – Speaking of Screen on the Green…I think those great no matter if it’s a first date or an established relationship.
Jamoca – very true. I’m looking forward to going and snuggling with someone I really like! With the current, we did the laser show at Stone Mtn and that was the first time he kissed me, ironically fireworks followed but I hear that was part of the show.
Melo
May 28th, 2009
4:24 pm
Cemeeli
the roots are too deep to server ties,that is the feeling of most folks from the mother land,me included.
The only problem with this dude is his ish aint together and so he cldnt make it so comfy for american wife to want to go wit him.But i applaud her for her luv tho and for keeping son and dad in sync.
As for me, im here for loot,nothing more,nothing less.And i make plans everyday to make sure my country cabin is well set(recently electrified) up and my city home is prepped good.
When its time(after my kids get into college),no thanx to social security,im gone.
I can do good/better in the cheap country back there,go to the city eve so often to cash my 401k etc and fly toi usa once a yr!
Leggs
May 28th, 2009
4:25 pm
@DK, love Salt N Pepa. That’s a great dancing song!
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
4:25 pm
W8- 72 hours long?? Goodness.. I guess you are trying to make that baby THAT weekend.. Please forewarn the lucky lady cause that seems like it is going to be something..
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 28th, 2009
4:27 pm
Rell – Because thats too eas. We shouold read their minds and just magically appear with the purse, dress and shoes to match. Look here ladies if your man can do all that pull down his pants and check his nether regions because he is or has been tampered with…
Raqi – Just show it to him and say I like this.. or say “Score it for me honey and I’ll rock your world”.. No just tell him you like it and it would be nice if you had it..
Mo (aka Moeisha- so excited)
May 28th, 2009
4:27 pm
Kimmie/Jamoca – I am a Mint Junkie….so of course I am not listening to their 3rd cd, Definition of a Band
DJ Sniper
May 28th, 2009
4:28 pm
Raqi, I’ve never had an issue with a woman driving me anywhere. As I mentioned earlier, I usually do the bulk of the driving and it doesn’t bother me at all, but still, it’s a very nice gesture when a woman offers to drive.
Cee, I grew up as an only child and I had no issues at all. There was a brief period of time when I wanted a younger sibling, but I got over that ish real quick. lol
To whoever asked about why men want justification for rejection: Again, that goes back to lack of home training and just straight up ignorance. Rejection is something that all men have to learn to deal with. The only thing most of us ask is that if the guy approaches them respectfully, that you return that respect in the rejection. Nothing irks me more than if I approach a woman respectfully and she give me a look as if I belong in a leper colony or something like that. On the flipside, I don’t worry about the reason that I’m rejected. I just keep it moving on to the next one.
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:28 pm
okay…Cee, you know I could not just leave and not play sumthin’ from that kuntry bowaay from Chaw-lotte, Norf Cacky-lacky…
No matter what the people say
I can’t, I can’t let go
No, no
Why must they try to tear down my house when they know it’s made from love
And they could never stand in my way
We made a vow to love through it all
We are one
And no one has the right to tear my love down
No matter what the people say, I’m gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can’t let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try til we get it right
You are my life, I can’t let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can’t let go
I can’t, I can’t let you go
How dare they say
That a love like ours wont last?
God made no mistakes
When He sheltered me with your heart
There’s no safer place than to be in love
And here I will stand
And there ain’t never
Ain’t gonna never ever leave you alone
No matter what the people say I’m gonna love you anyway
You are my life, I can’t let go
Even if we fuss or fight, try til we get it right
You are my life, I can’t let go
Even if we disagree, you can put it all on me
You are my life, I can’t let go
I can’t, I can’t let you go
All that I know now is to give you all of me
And no matter how long I take
And every part of me belongs to your love
Help me, help me
No matter what the people say
Beautiful
May 28th, 2009
4:28 pm
**I just chalked it up to some folks just not having seen enough solid relationships in their lives or something**
that’s prolly it! i recently asked a friend about two different couples and how the families were doing. their both divorced! wth is going on? ppl are not putting in the necessary work to make their marriage successful.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:29 pm
Melo – You plan is different. He lived well here. He just up and left. I feel bad for E because he has to adjust so often to the no-connection, then connect again. AND don’t forget he has a nice pad at home with his mom. so when they get to Africa’s village they have a lot of re-adjusting.
I couldn’t imagine. And when she gets back she comes hang out with us as if it cool. I mean. my husband cain’t tell me he’s going to live 10,000 miles away from me and out child all of a sudden. But since it’s been so long she’s probably use to it.
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 28th, 2009
4:30 pm
Leggs – Yes. Yes it is a great Dancing song.. (Said with a devilish grin)
Melo
May 28th, 2009
4:31 pm
He lived well here
meaning how well Cee??
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:31 pm
mytw♥tatas
May 28th, 2009
4:31 pm
W8n 2GETCUT So if some angelic young lady did take a boxcutter to ya, you’d know you had gotten outta pocket first and deserved this form of disrespect?
I wonder if I’m a female chauvinist. I remember the last time I stopped and got some coolant to put in the automobile formerly known as Zsa Zsa, two guys in two separate cars parked in conneecting spaces watched me do it. Yeah, I could do it, due to her terminal illness had MUCH practice.. but Iwas taken aback that neither offered. Aunties CEE & MOCA Her is officially off to the big ol parts yard in the sky….
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
4:32 pm
@DJ- I just like to drive I dont mind if the woman drives sometimes but I just automatically drive…only times I dont drive is after training or a intramural bball or football game
I agree with you on the rejection thing also
Poppa Grande
May 28th, 2009
4:32 pm
Raqi
Using the points are no big deal to me unless we have already made a decision on how to use them. We have a ton of them, too.
In my mind, points represent already spent money. They don’t credit them until you pay the bill. So, that really isn’t money out of my current or future pocket.
AR
Tonight’s flick is Back to the Future.
I didn’t know that. It is funny that you mention that movie because the secretary and I were just talking about how much we wish that we had a 1.21 jiggawatt flux capacitor right about now as we reviewed the new case here in the office.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 28th, 2009
4:33 pm
W8….you know I loves you boo!
But we’ve gotta keep it on the low. My man TRUTH may come back from Kuwait on the warpath because he can’t drink and it’s 200 degrees over there! 
RAQI..if guilt doesn’t work….we have to step it up to holding out on the booty…while walking around naked…..
Poppa Grande
May 28th, 2009
4:33 pm
W8
72 hours? Are trying to get a Vitamin Water commercial or something?
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:34 pm
DJ Sniper – I’m just gonna allow him to feel whatever. He’ll be fine. Just makes me feel bad a lil. I know how that is.
Rell - swag surfin on you benchs!!!
May 28th, 2009
4:35 pm
purse, dress and shoes to match
@dk…there was a time when me and the wife where cool…thats the only way to come back with something…if you buy one YOU HAVE TO BUY THE OTHER…its easy on the shoes..go the weekend prior see what she really want and then go from there or just buy the dress and purse and let her get the shoes…but you cant just buy a purse or just a dress…learn that loooooooooong time ago…you get points if the items are unique…meaning someone will stop and ask her about where she aquired said unique piece.
Mo (aka Moeisha- so excited)
May 28th, 2009
4:35 pm
meant “now” listening
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:35 pm
Tatas- chick, it really hadn’t dawned on me how much I missed ZsaZsa baby, until you laid her to rest. …Jamoca now pours out a little likka coolant for the Infamous ROD ZsaZsa lol
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:35 pm
When its time(after my kids get into college),no thanx to social security,im gone.
melo – The exchange between you and Cee is striking a chord with me. New boo is from Senegal, though he hasn’t lived there since he was 15. He’s complained about the sterotypes of African’s in the work place, that they are stupid (because they have accents) and lazy. He works very hard to counter those stereotypes, but I know it’s frustrating.
Now I’ve got to worry about him ditching me for Africa?!
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
4:36 pm
@BootySweatDiva – I knew you’d bring that boxcutter back out..told ya..Now if a woman is on the side of the road..I usually keep on driving(I figure some dude will stop who wants to holla at her) in a parking lot I will usually help.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:36 pm
@ Melo – He was some kind of smart guy, into architect made a good bit of change.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:36 pm
R.I.P. Zsa-Zsa.
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:36 pm
I didn’t know that.
PG – How can that be that you didn’t know something?!
kimmie
May 28th, 2009
4:36 pm
Jamoca – What is the name of that song & who sings it – your 4:28! I love that song!
Melo
May 28th, 2009
4:38 pm
New boo is from Senegal, though he hasn’t lived there since he was 15
hence the earlier qstion to melo! Light bulb
Senegalese guys have madd swag tho.And females luv the french.
Good luck Ared.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:39 pm
@ Melo – Her mother in law lives with them. She’s very active as the grandmother. I guess she feels obligated since her son left them like that.
DJ Sniper
May 28th, 2009
4:40 pm
Kimmie, that song is Can’t Let Go by Anthony Hamilton.
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:41 pm
Senegalese guys have madd swag tho.And females luv the french.
Thanks.
SexyCool
May 28th, 2009
4:41 pm
Is it true that if you have sex with someone from Africa, you can no longer donate blood to the American Red Cross? Or is that just an urban myth?
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:41 pm
Kimmie – That’s Anthony Hamilton’s…from the album “Ain’t Nobody Worryin’”….Oooo, chile….when I tell you how much I love his voice when he sings…his songs, to me…they make you listen to them.
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
4:42 pm
@PG- on the 72 hours..just a weekend in house session…you know keeping her influenced with the music playing all weekend long
..besides we arent leaving the house anyway, might as well slow dance a little, have some intimate cooking sessions, massages, and all of the other things you dont post on a public forum..lmao
Football season really needs to get here or I am going to mess around and be in a relationship..lol
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:42 pm
ARed – The lady that does my braiding is form Senegal. I really like her work!
SexyCool
May 28th, 2009
4:43 pm
That d@mn song kept me with Sh!thead WAAAAYYYY longer than I should have been. j/k – kinda…lol
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:44 pm
DJ Snippa – Look mayne, quit blockin’…! LOL I’m trynna make a livin’! Today, this is my house! Tatas, is already on my back about our little side hustle…lemme have dis! LMAO
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:45 pm
Is it true that if you have sex with someone from Africa, you can no longer donate blood to the American Red Cross?
SexyCool –
DO NOT DONATE BLOOD IF:
You have ever tested positive for HIV,
You have ever injected yourself with drugs or other substances not prescribed by a physician,
You are a man and have had sex with another man, even once,
You have hemophilia or another Blood clotting disorder and received clotting factor concentrate,
You have engaged in sex for drugs or money since 1977,
You have lived in western Europe since 1980,
You have been held in a correctional facility (including jails, prisons and/or detention centers) for more than 72 hours in the last 12 months,
You were born in, lived in or had sex with anyone who lived in, or received Blood products in Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Gabon, Niger or Nigeria since 1977 (this list changes frequently; updates are very important) or,
You are, or have been a sexual contact of someone in the above list.
NOTE: There is a special watch for potential donors who have visited or lived in England/United Kingdom from 1980 to 1999, and those who have lived and/or worked in Western Europe since 1980.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
4:45 pm
Kimmie – That song was branded for Cee. You’re gonna havta get your own.
♥ Jamoca ♥ – I’m all sappy again now. Oh, my baby.