Put your foot down
One of the frustrating things about the dating scene is dealing with disrespect. It seems inevitable that you run into that person who is inconsiderate, inexperienced, or flat out clueless. You would think that the older we get, the less likely we are to meet this type of person. Sadly, that is not always the case and then you have to put your foot down.
If a guy has some bad behavior that is unacceptable to me, I always wonder how he has managed to get away with it. I mean, all the women he dated never told him when he was being a jerk? Have you ever met or dated someone who was unaware of their bad dating behavior? Did you call them out on it? How did they respond.
Are you guilty of any behaviors that others have called out before? I once had a guy call me out on being late all the time. He finally had to put his foot down and let me know that he wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. So much for being fashionably late! He saw it as disrespectful and he let me know. I quickly corrected that problem and now I am always on time or early for dates
How do you put your foot down or call someone out without alienating them?
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
478 comments Add your comment
Leggs
May 28th, 2009
3:35 pm
I wanted to tell her “He’s allergic to fun”.
The things we do to spare our children. But, that was funny! I’m curious, please let us, sorry, let ME know tomorrow how he was when he got home today…thank you!
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
3:36 pm
@BootySweat with the Boxcutter……” And trying to remember even when you’re not attached to them, their kindness doesn’t necessarily have an ulterior motive. HATE when I witness the third degree when a guy is just being nice. And whether or not ladies are interested, not sure why turn downs require more than a polite no. (Granted he wasn’t approaching sideways) I think everything’s suspect when you don’t value yourself as anything more than @zz. So you naturally assume that’s what every dude is tryna get at. Heavy sigh….”
Some mistake common courtesy as flirtation and that leads to an awkward moment..lol
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
3:38 pm
ARed – His kids are not here either.
Cemeeli – Dang.
I have two sisters, but my mother would ship us off to my grandparents for the summer. Then we were reunited with my 5 other cousins. We’re all around the same age. It was the only time I got to experience having “brothers.” Boys are so different, voilent and messy!
Leggs
May 28th, 2009
3:39 pm
@Jamoca, 503 has a better sound to my ear!
mytw♥tatas
May 28th, 2009
3:39 pm
LEGGS Are you enjoying the cocktails I sent over to the lounge? their on the house.
kimmie
May 28th, 2009
3:39 pm
I love me some Mint Condition and You Send Me Swingin is my favorite! I have a tape single of it packed away somewhere!LOL!!!
Melo
May 28th, 2009
3:39 pm
Cee, i feel ur pain.
My boy is almost 4 and thankfully he has his 8 yr old cousin to play with.And my son worships his cousin…. too,too,too much!!!.
It wld have been harder without my nephew coz the girls are a lil older than him.
Boys need other boys
For Real
May 28th, 2009
3:41 pm
Maybe it’s me but I don’t see how a woman can emasculate a man. Oh and I can’t stand to hear a woman “let a man be a man” like they have a say but the absolute worst thing is when I hear a dude say “she want let me be the man” – Now that’s some bytch azz ish!!!
mytwotatas: Your name makes me think of a 2 piece spicy from Popeyes. You got some texas pete?
For Real now giving lil Cee’s his first pet rock.
Ared: “Nor have I ever been a fan of getting “shaked the ish out of.” – LMAO
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
3:41 pm
W8- I agree
Random thought: I love Jaime Fox’s Digital Girl Song.. Too Sexy
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
3:41 pm
Random thought (cuz all the cool kids are doing it, lol): I wore these strappy sandals today because I am hitting the streetz later, but I don’t think my feets got the memo. I can take my shoes off under my desk while at work, I don’t know if I can fake it once I’m out socializing. Ow. ow. ouch.
Raqi...Sandwich Making Mama
May 28th, 2009
3:42 pm
Cemeeli is he old enough to get a summer job?
Elijah
May 28th, 2009
3:43 pm
I most redo some of my posts because some think I am angry! Not happening at this moment enjoying life right now to be angry when discussing a simple topic!
@Dan I am not grouping all men into one category (partna) the evidence speaks for itself! I have been treated very good by women even though I have not always treated them well! Women know what they want and if you give it to them most will give you everything you want in a relationship!
On another note I open doors for everyone even sistas girl with the nene hairstyle and you know what sometimes she will smile and say thank ya!
@Mamba you are special! No truly special!
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
3:44 pm
Ared- Are they the Victoria Secret ones?
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
3:47 pm
Ared- Are they the Victoria Secret ones?
No, but they are new and they were on sale and I thought “these shoes are so cute and they’re one sale!” and now I see why.
For Real
May 28th, 2009
3:47 pm
“I think everything’s suspect when you don’t value yourself as anything more than @zz. So you naturally assume that’s what every dude is tryna get at.” – That’s real talk right there….
Melo
May 28th, 2009
3:48 pm
So is Keisha Coles’s crack head mum a permanent feature now on the Ryan CAM SHOW???
Is that a plus?
Dan
May 28th, 2009
3:48 pm
@Elijah
You the one that lumped all “black men” into the same boat in your post, I was merely pointing out how wrong that was.
That said, admittance is the first step to recovery. But howza bout focusing on fixing you and yours before going “macro”. Problems like politics are local, my boy.
Tazzee - partying with my girls tonight!
May 28th, 2009
3:48 pm
AmRed – Your feet are MAD at you!!! I usually bring an extra pair/shirt/jeans, etc. when I know I’m going out right after work. I got a cuter top in the car right now.
side note: Ryan Stewart is a N-U-T!!!
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 28th, 2009
3:49 pm
TMAC….whatever son!There is nothing wrong with being independent. I think nobody should be dependent of another. There is nothing wrong with someone who perfectly happy being single. Nor is there anything wrong wiht someone desiring one. The problem of codependcy is what bothers me. Its usually the ones who feel they “need” man rather than wanting him are the ones who end up with the dirtbags who beat down thier self esteem. They will allow certain behavior based on desperation. The woman who simply desires a man is someone who knows to love herself more than any man. As I stated before….my self love has been a slow process for me. I had to love me in order to know what I do not deserve or what I will not allow. I no longer would try to change myself to be who a guy wanted me to be. I will only be who I want to be. Nor will I be that chick that turns the blind eye to a man’s misdoings simply because of my fear that he may leave. My self love has taught me to not try to hold on to something that should not be. Love (other than the love of self) is a 2 way street. And there are certain things a man would not do or say if he could love me. So now I will call a guy on his behavior…and then let it be. If he does it again…that is just who he is and I will not try to change him. We can go our separate ways.
CEMEELI..I loved being an only child. I found so many ways to entertain myself! But I know I am one one in a million that feel that way. Weird I am!
Hey my homegirl has an 11 year old son…they can play. He plays football though so I am not sure how much time he will have.
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
3:50 pm
Ared- LOL! Sometimes getting on that sauce makes you forget about foot pains.. When I was younger, I used to learn how to walk in my shoes during a night of drinks with friends.. Alcohol works wonders
SexyCool
May 28th, 2009
3:50 pm
My Random Thought – I look terrible in fluorescent lighting. I wish I could bring a lighting designer into my office….(Oh, the vanity…lol)
Lord Velonese
May 28th, 2009
3:50 pm
Respect is earned, never given unless you’re a fool. Demanding it is like walking into a fire, you’re going to get burned. Now if you want to pay me, then I’ll do whatever but unless you prove to me I should, I will not period. I’m putting my foot down, I just don’t like people, I just tolerate you, barely.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
3:50 pm
Yep Melo- Boys need boytime.
I get on his 10.YEAR.OLD. nerve lately!
awww…
The close buddy is leaving for Africa for a month in July. Now check this. His mother (american) has been married to E’s dad since he was born (He’s american Atlanta native). When E was nine months dude moved to Africa tell her he wanted to live in “the motherland” because “the man” has warped the black man’s identity here in the states. She had been going to Africa EVERY christmas and summer for 9 years to see her husband. He lives in a village, no electricity, only 2 beds in the hut, and a table. I’m like WHT is that?!!!! He lived well here.
If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage an
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
3:51 pm
Ohh ohh ohh my turn on Random thoughts:
I’m really thinking about moving to the country.
I’ve really been neglecting the gym.
and judging by the recent fact that I have been listening to my playlist titled “baby making music”..I think something is going on in my heart as of late. Here’s the previous hour:
Piece Of My Love
Say Yes
Getting Late
I Gotta Be
Long As I Live
Love Rain Mos Def REMix
He Loves Me (Lyzel In E Flat)
The Way
Feenin’
My Heart Belongs to You
I’ll Cry For You
”Joy”
Take It From Here
I’ll Give All My Love To You
Nice And Slow
My Body
Woozy
We Belong Together
Sweet Thing
Fortunate
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
3:51 pm
If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage anulled.
Dan
May 28th, 2009
3:52 pm
@W8 and For Real
Agreed. Makes a loooot of sense and just put the last piece in a puzzle, thanks fellers!
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
3:52 pm
Raqi I love you thinking. Publix takes ‘em at what age?
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 28th, 2009
3:52 pm
LIONESS…I guess being an only child in NY is fun. There are always a crapload of neighborhood kids to play with. My closest friend lived down the hall from me.
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
3:53 pm
….okay, then 5-0-3 it is!
LOL @ Tatas!…and Melo, mayne you ain’t nuthin’ but trubbuh’!lol
…now let me clear my throat!…aaacccchhhemmm…(cough, cough)
SexyCool
May 28th, 2009
3:53 pm
MyTwo – And whether or not ladies are interested, not sure why turn downs require more than a polite no.
I’ve been polling my male friends lately to ask them what is the preferred turn down and why do guys always seem to expect you to justify turning them down.
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
3:54 pm
Yeah
Time’s a wastin
Don’t you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain’t no tellin where you’ll land
Run baby, run, run
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a man
Takin’ full command
Cause we’re
Livin in a world that’s oh so strange
Boy don’t let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that’s oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh
Time’s a wastin
Don’t you take your time young man
Keep on driftin and
Ain’t no tellin where you’ll land
Sweet love and sunshine
If it’s all in the air
Then it’s all on your mind
Breathe baby
Come back to the world
Dig up all your pearls
Teach the boys and girls, hey
Livin in a world that’s oh so strange
Boy don’t let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that’s oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
3:54 pm
AmRed – Your feet are MAD at you!!!
They are. And I left my cell phone in the car so I’m debating how bad I want it before I go out there and get it.
Yeah, usually I change in it’s entirety, but it’s summer and the chicks here in my office are really pushing the envelope in terms of fashion right now. Young folks, I think they think they are in a Sex and the City Episode. The CEO’s secretary wore spiked heels yesterday. She looked adorable but totally to fashion forward for the office.
So I put my strappy sandals on today and that’s what I get for not wearing the sensible shoes like I normally do. Besides, it’s totally distracting when I dress up because everyone wants to comment.
Cemeeli
May 28th, 2009
3:54 pm
ARed – Where are you car shoes? You know…the comfy ones!!!
Leggs
May 28th, 2009
3:57 pm
If you hit, you can mail me a bottle of NaVan!
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
3:57 pm
Heavy W8 – Mayne! Get out my playlist!!!….lol Seriously, I was just listening to a few of those on Imeem…I love Imeem!!! LOL
Mo/Kimmie – I love that song too as well as Mint Condition!…a beautiful song to wake up in the morning to…
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
3:58 pm
Staceye- Funny thing is, I was ALWAYS a home body. I would stay home and play video games. Still do
My mom always had something planned for me during the summer.. I never associated with people in my neighbrhood until I was in Junior High.
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 28th, 2009
3:58 pm
Sexy Cool – You look Al Green Simply Beautiful from here..
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:00 pm
The sweetest thing I’ve ever known
Was like the kiss on the collarbone
Soft caress of happiness
The way you walk, your style of dress
I wish I didn’t get so weak
Ooo, baby, just to hear you speak
Makes me argue just to see
How much you’re in love with me
See, like a queen, a queen upon her throne
Chorus
Chorus
It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know,
It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know
I get mad when you walk away (don’t walk away)
So I tell you leave, when I mean stay
Warm as the sun dipped in black
Fingertips on the small of my back
More valuable than all I own
Like your precious, precious, precious, precious dark skin tone
Chorus
It was the…Ah
I tried to explain
Ah…but baby, it’s in vain
Speaking on my mother’s phone
The touching makes me think I’m grown, (you ain’t grown)
Sweet prince of the ghetto
Your kisses taste like armoretto
Intoxicating, oh, so intoxicating
How sad, how sad that all things come to an end
But then again, I’m, I’m not alone
AmazonRed™
May 28th, 2009
4:01 pm
ARed – Where are you car shoes? You know…the comfy ones!!!
Cemeeli – The only other pair of shoes I have in my car are my stripper shoes – 6 inchers. They actually aren’t that bad on the feet, but may give the wrong impression at happy hour!
Raqi
May 28th, 2009
4:01 pm
Poppa, ABC, menfolk let me ask you all a question. (Not seriously but seriously)
Macy’s has a bag that I want. http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=329561&CategoryID=27725
I can get the same bag using the Amex points. 50,000 pts. We ain’t using them for anything else right now anyway.
As husbands which scenario would suit you better.
1. “Hey I like this bag. Can I use 50,000 of your points to get it?”
Or
2. “Look Macy’s has this bag I like. Look at it. (Priced at $395.00) I think I am going to get” He will say that’s a lot of money to pay for a purse. Then I will say “Well what if I just use Amex points to get it. It’s only 50,000pts.”
Note: My husband will look at the 50,000 pts as what they are. 50,000 $1.00 spent to accumulate points. In other words $50,000 for a handbag.
What do you all say? How can I get this bag?
Oh and not spend my own money preferably. LOL
Jamoca
May 28th, 2009
4:02 pm
Leggs – Hmmmm…so what’s or will be the occasion? …Don’t. Say. Nothin’. lol
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
4:04 pm
Raqi- You are too clever! Hilarious!
Melo
May 28th, 2009
4:04 pm
If he decided to leave his family for the motherland and you stayed here in the US of A, then either he should have or called the marriage anulled
First of,thats real luv,if she hasnt been philandering over here and him doing the same over there! But as u can see,all relatiosnhips have their own glue,the outsider,u wont even have to know.
He lives in a village, no electricity, only 2 beds in the hut, and a table thats village life for the most part,no electricity but the other amenities depend on how hard the man of the house worked.Others will have a city home and a country home for the most part.
Does ur friend go to Africa too,smetimes and which part/country???
I wld think the mother is doing it for his son too, so he can have a relationsip with the father and not lose his roots.
See how Obama got swallowed up by babylon,the man dont know his totem!!
-W8©
May 28th, 2009
4:04 pm
@Staceye- I am depending on you to go make me a sammich…now get to it!!!….JUST KIDDING!!! no i’m not..where is my sandwich..lol
SexyCool
May 28th, 2009
4:04 pm
Aaawwww, DK – you say the cutest isht. lol
Rell - swag surfin on you benchs!!!
May 28th, 2009
4:06 pm
why do guys always seem to expect you to justify turning them down.
- not me i dont care..actually i dont hear anything but yes..so if its no it comes into my ears as white noise…lol
pushing the envelope in terms of fashion right now
- at my job there is a dept called “club ar”…mayne…lol…i just get my eye hustle on and chill…but i do get a nice show…we have them in all shapes and sizes at the club…lol
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 28th, 2009
4:07 pm
W8 – Funny my baby making list has Push it by Salt and Pepa.. Ooohh Baby baby oohh baby baby. Get up on this.. Push it real good.
Lioness- Going back to the Pool
May 28th, 2009
4:08 pm
DK- I spit out my drink with that one! LOL
Raqi
May 28th, 2009
4:09 pm
Lioness there is an old saying.
“While men are dreaming (sleeping), women are scheming”. LOL
I was looking thru the AMEX membership rewards catalog last night while sitting in bed and saw that bag. I looked to see if Macy’s had it and they do. Now how can I get it. hmmm LOL
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 28th, 2009
4:12 pm
RAQI…you are carrying his baby….this is the time for emotional outburst complete with tears and sympathy because you are feeling “unsexy” and it would make you feel better!
W8…I’ll make you a sandwich boo…let’s see arsenic in the mayo! Oops did I think out loud again!?!
