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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Put your foot down

One of the frustrating things about the dating scene is dealing with disrespect. It seems inevitable that you run into that person who is inconsiderate, inexperienced, or flat out clueless. You would think that the older we get, the less likely we are to meet this type of person. Sadly, that is not always the case and then you have to put your foot down.

If a guy has some bad behavior that is unacceptable to me, I always wonder how he has managed to get away with it. I mean,  all the women he dated never told him when he was being a jerk? Have you ever met or dated someone who was unaware of their bad dating behavior? Did you call them out on it? How did they respond.

Are you guilty of any behaviors that others have called out before? I once had a guy call me out on being late all the time. He finally had to put his foot down and let me know that he wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. So much for being fashionably late! He saw it as disrespectful and he let me know. I quickly corrected that problem and now I am always on time or early for dates

How do you put your foot down or call someone out without alienating them?

478 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 28th, 2009
11:40 am

What I also thought was key is that he mentioned that he needs someone to “teach” him things in regards to how to treat a woman and I thought that spoke volumes b/c he saw an area where he was lacking and didn’t let his ego stop him from: 1. Admitting what he didn’t know and 2. Asking for help about the matter.” – And you felt honored because this fool ran you a line. Teach me… I don’t know no better… HAHAHA he is 28 years old!!!!! But you soaked it up because he appealled to your ego. HAHAHA…. What do you think you could have taught him about being a man a 28 years old? I bet you gave him your number didn’t you?

ForReal so it’s YOUR turn today huh…cool. First let me give you some background info…I’ve known this man for the last five years and in that time we’ve conversed ALOT about ALOT. I’ve never considered him to be a fool…only an honest man stating what HE didn’t know and MY ego has nothing to do with it. I’m not into parenting adults and as a woman how can I possibly teach him how to be a man?…what he said was he didn’t know how to really treat a woman and I took it as that. I can give him insite on how to treat a woman b/c I am one azzhole, so who better to learn from? I mean seriously dude, someone had to teach you how to treat a woman didn’t they…or thenagain maybe you don’t know….and trust there are PLENTY of men older than that who still don’t know how to treat a woman….you dumb phuck dip shyt go back and re-read my post THOROUGHLY before you try to come for me, that being said……get at me biotchey :)

Dan

May 28th, 2009
11:41 am

“You correct children and if the person you are with needs your correction what does that say about you?” Coldest isht of the year!

@My2

Why all the “extra” reading? I don’t expect anything from anyone and my face is never chopped or screwed, darlin’. I’m much too “cash” for that.

Which is why I’m hardly ever surprised by my preconceptions.

@For Real

Really though, if you have or carry yourself in a respectful manner giving that to someone else (until they’ve shown a propensity for the respect not being warranted) means nothing.

SexyCool

May 28th, 2009
11:41 am

I agree with the consensus. Not addressing small slights (intentional or not) can result in major issues down the road.

Additionally, it CAN be indicative of the infamous he’s just not that into you or even that he’s NOT been called on unacceptable behaviour in the past and in his world has deemed it acceptable because he has “choices”. (Trust me, I had someone tell me something similar recently.)

Three Words Daily – Action yields results.

Elijah

May 28th, 2009
11:42 am

Good Morning to all the ladies!

Men need to act like gentlemen regardless of who they are treating like a lady! Doing something for a women no matter what title we have tag her with should come at no cost of being judge because of her dress or tatoos!

Men quit complaining and start acting like you got some common sense! Women give us everything we need even when we do not deserve it! So treating a woman with chivalry manners/actions should be a no brainer!

Since my Cleveland Cavs are down I am not doing well!

@sassy I am no longer luving you, I saw that comment about Orlando! :wink:

For Real

May 28th, 2009
11:46 am

DK: That’s the way I was taught as well but the fact remains you are still giving something that hasn’t been earned. One of my pet peeves is entitlement ie deserve. This world doesn’t owe anyone a thing.

mytw♥tatas

May 28th, 2009
11:47 am

CEE I’m lost. My last was about the lil dude. I guess we are just resigned to status quo.

PERNT I like your P.O.V. site.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 28th, 2009
11:48 am

Dang Elijah.. Is your newly Ex Girl reading? Professing your love in cyber space might not be the best approach to get her back..

Cemeeli

May 28th, 2009
11:49 am

@Kimmie – I’m wearing this set of bangle braclets(that are very loud when i type) with my lond maxi sundress that’s draggin my heels, some flat sandals. I don’t even feel like i should be at work. Opposite the sweater i’m wearing, i look as if i should be hanging in V-Highlands with my fellow eccentric friends. Summer fever, i guess.

Leggs

May 28th, 2009
11:49 am

Oh my, and you guys say I speak my mind….SassyMe shot straight from both kneecaps!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 28th, 2009
11:49 am

For Real – I’m not talking about Grandma or Moma respect just basic respect..

Cemeeli

May 28th, 2009
11:51 am

@ SexyCool – Did you watch the movie?

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 28th, 2009
11:52 am

Men need to act like gentlemen regardless of who they are treating like a lady! Doing something for a women no matter what title we have tag her with should come at no cost of being judge because of her dress or tatoos!…….@sassy I am no longer luving you, I saw that comment about Orlando!

Elijah the first part of your post is soo poigant and on point and eloquently summed up several points of view and I totally agree with it. As for the Orlando thing….YOU’RE still my munber one cat daddy ;)

Cemeeli

May 28th, 2009
11:54 am

happy birthday Lil Mo. Are you giving a party?

Melo

May 28th, 2009
11:55 am

Its not very hard with these females,to decipher, which one needs respect and which one does not.Heck,u can even tell by the conversations on the blog the ones who are walking with explosive dynamite.
Some of uall ladies seem to have gunpowder and petrol bombs ready to go off anytime.
Why swing the door open for such trife??

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
11:56 am

Doing something for a women no matter what title we have tag her with should come at no cost of being judge because of her dress or tatoos

- should i go in or not…lol

i will just say…i dont get it

Raqi...Sandwich Making Mama

May 28th, 2009
11:57 am

ForReal To say that people have to earn your respect is you thinking of yourself higher than one should. Everyone deserves respect. Who are any of us that someone has to prove their worth in our presence in order to be respected?

That is just sheer arrogance.

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
11:58 am

u can even tell by the conversations on the blog

- You can…because i cant…you making judgements of folks off of a (vent)blog??!?!?!!?!

SexyCool

May 28th, 2009
11:58 am

Cemeeli – I couldn’t find it. I think Sh!thead took it. lol

Cemeeli

May 28th, 2009
12:00 pm

:lol: :lol: Get cho’ stuff sis!!!

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
12:01 pm

Everyone deserves respect. Who are any of us that someone has to prove their worth in our presence in order to be respected?

That is just sheer arrogance.

- i agree…some folks are real high on themselves…and they are so undeserving themselves of respect

Melo

May 28th, 2009
12:01 pm

Yep u do.The blog is about pples perspectives,opinions and ideas.

Thats a lot to go by.Not 100% but a sure start.

Mo (aka Moeisha- so excited)

May 28th, 2009
12:02 pm

Cemeeli – now you KNOW we are having a celebration! Or two….make that a total of three…..dayum this kid is spoiled! LOL!

Hey Rell, whats good

Elijah

May 28th, 2009
12:03 pm

@Mr. DK, Nope not writing for any ex! I just believe in treating everyone right!

On topic: I have date some ladies who had some bad manners and sometimes after speaking with them about those bad manners they made an effort to clean it up! Ladies coming late to dinner thing is a no-no it cannot be tolerated my time is important!

Let’s get off the angry black women theme…. sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!

@Raqi that was a good topic yesterday! :smile:

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
12:05 pm

Yep u do.The blog is about pples perspectives,opinions and ideas.

Thats a lot to go by.Not 100% but a sure start

- lol…thats all i am going to say on that…

@MO…hello

and whats good is me….i am hawt love..lol…

For Real

May 28th, 2009
12:06 pm

Sassy: You funny as hellz swelling up behind the keyboard and ish. Anyway, fool is a term I use because I don’t use the N-word but the fact remains I was taught when I was a CHILD by MEN how to treat women. You say your ego wasn’t involved huh but you think you can teach a GROWN AZZ MAN how to treat women… let me correct that you think you can teach a GROWN AZZ MAN how to treat you cause I’m going to assume you never dated a woman before to have the knowledge on how a man is to treat a woman. Like I said, all that swelling up behind the keyboard is funny as hellz especially when the blog is talking about angry black woman and respect.

DK: See what I mean about giving something to someone that hasn’t earned it?

Raqi...Sandwich Making Mama

May 28th, 2009
12:07 pm

some folks are real high on themselves

Rell tell me about it. How can anyone but an arsehole walk into a room of people with the attitude of “show me a reason why I should respect yall, benches and then I might”? GTHOH

That attitude alone makes you less worthy of respect from others.

Cemeeli

May 28th, 2009
12:08 pm

What’s Rita’s water ice? Is that a old time icee? A “slushie”, like Mr. Slush?

I’m jealous.

Leggs

May 28th, 2009
12:08 pm

How goes it, Rell?

Raqi...Sandwich Making Mama

May 28th, 2009
12:08 pm

Thank you Elijah. I just hate I wasn’t here to input more and explain my thoughts more.

-W8©

May 28th, 2009
12:09 pm

@Ared – “Where is W8? I want to know how he feels about that Denver vs. Cleveland final he predicted.”

lol I have been known to be wrong..but remember our bet is that the Lakers will not win the Championship.

On Topic: I respect all women even those that don’t respect themselves..As for me putting my foot down, I check it at the first sign..no if’s and or but’s about it. I am man enough to listen to a woman if she thinks I am disrespectful towards her and will make the appropriate changes. I am a hard kind of no tact guy, so it takes a tough and not a sheepish woman to deal with me because if you don’t know me I come of as very harsh but in reality I am just intense 85% of the time. I can not deal with a woman who is all extra and flip at the mouth AT ALL, nor will I deal with a woman who has a filthy mouth even when it’s not directed towards me. On the time thing if she has a problem with being late I will just lie to her and tell her the time is around 90 minutes earlier than we are supposed to be there. If she is consistently late I will just leave her and if she meets me there fine if not..oh well. You cant respect others if you don’t respect yourself..respect is not situational it’s either in you or not.

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
12:09 pm

sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!

- have you seen this

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/27/desmond-hatchett-29-year_n_208393.html

Dan

May 28th, 2009
12:11 pm

@Elijah

No “sister” has the “right” to be angry about her mistreatment by some dude. For 1) she chose the cat; 2) she put up with it; and 3) other than her selection process, none of that has to do with the NEXT dude.

The same justifications and reasons apply to men and women.

Don’t even try that “she has a right to be mad” she/me/you/him DON’T! The world doesn’t owe you anything and neither do I.

Try that one again, homie

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
12:12 pm

@cem…rita water ice is like a slushie but better…melts in your mouth..they have one in tucker by my job..and another i know of by piedmont park..its my lil date first date spot…who can turn down something sweet and me…lol

@leggs…hello lady..how have you been

Rell - eating a rita's water ice

May 28th, 2009
12:14 pm

@dan…i was not going to touch elijah post in fear of that term i like to use spill onto the screen…some folks will forever be in the mode to save the world….as for me i cosign your list..i was kicked out the justice league years ago….lol

Rell - listening to the first 112 cd - now that we're done..

May 28th, 2009
12:16 pm

Enter your comments here

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 28th, 2009
12:16 pm

For Real ummm WTF..seriously though. It was what it was plain and simple. No I’m not swelling up behind the keyboard…sometimes I get off on talking ish…actually my acrid tongue is another life lesson I’m in the midst of learning to temper a bit….then there are other times I just feel like it..like now. As my post alluded: he didn’t have a good relationship with him moms and his dad wasn’t the best role model. I see nothing wrong with a woman telling a man what women want. Seems perfectly logical to me. Now that being said, we’ll just have to agree to disagree but that’s what I like about this blog….NEXT!!

AmazonRed™

May 28th, 2009
12:16 pm

Ared,dont hang with Mamba,she will corrupt u with her man repellant.

melo – I’m not worried about it. Like Staceye said, he milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Heck the two of us together may make an unstoppable duo. :lol:

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 28th, 2009
12:17 pm

Rell that first 112 cd is the bizness!

AmazonRed™

May 28th, 2009
12:18 pm

lol I have been known to be wrong..but remember our bet is that the Lakers will not win the Championship.

:???: Excuse me? No it isn’t. The bet is that the Lakers will be in the finals. You have to wear your “I LOVE KOBE” shirt to the games. It’s a moot point after the fact.

MR. Smith

May 28th, 2009
12:18 pm

uhhh Tazzee – partying with the angry black women coalition of Atlanta tonight- my bad at my earlier post, if you felt offended… I stick by my statment,, that a major of women yes black, are very pugnacious. Its way to easy to say I don’t want to show that side.. but then turn around at the first chance and say, that was my only option was to act.. Well you know uhh “black and angry”… lol… Stop playing, It just gets old… Im ashamed to have foreigners or other races, witness the blow-up of a black woman because she need everyone within earshot know how she felt, I guess thats standing up for oneself…

I think I went to the left with this,, but hey free country, my opinion..

AmazonRed™

May 28th, 2009
12:20 pm

melo – I meant to ask you. Is your wife American, born and raised, or is she “zulu” too?

For Real

May 28th, 2009
12:23 pm

Dan: Yeah everything start with you. Ever notice how kid behave around some people? They know who they are dealing and so will adults.

Elijah: Why don’t you just call her and say I’m SORRRRRYYYYYYY. Oh and you don’t expect me to believe that every woman in your life give you everything you need. Do you?

Raqi: Not arrogance we all have to prove our worth to someone else if we want to be in that person’s life. I have to earn respect just like everyone else. If Jesus had to earn respect then why do you or anyone else think they deserve it? – Good topic on yesterday.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 28th, 2009
12:23 pm

ELIJAH….I love your 11:42…except the part about Orlando. I loves me some Dwight! He looks like he could have been the son of the late actress Madge Sinclair (The queen/mother n Coming to America)!

CEMMELI….were you peeping in my window as I got dressed this morning? :lol: Girl I am wearing the same thing. I wear cbangles everyday…I get all my colors from the Indian stores. But I have on a shrug with my dress! Giiiiiirrrrrl! We are twins today!

ELIJAH…”Let’s get off the angry black women theme…. sister’s have a right to be angry because too many brothers have not step up to the plate and taken care of their responsibilities!” DAYAM son…..you speaking gospel today! CHURCH! :lol:

Leggs

May 28th, 2009
12:23 pm

@Rell, where in Tucker…I love slushies, icees. I feel a “jones” coming on! BRB!

Lioness- I need Water

May 28th, 2009
12:23 pm

Ared-melo – I meant to ask you. Is your wife American, born and raised, or is she “zulu” too? LOL @ cause you are serious

Turd Fergusen

May 28th, 2009
12:25 pm

If one of you women should be so lucky to receive an invitation for a night out with Turd Fergusen just remember. You make use of the cell phone then the next call you will be making is to a local taxi service.

I will of course be a gentlemen…I will excuse myself to the mens room and you will never hear from me or see me again…ya self-absorbed nobody…YOU LOSE!!

*POOT*

Melo

May 28th, 2009
12:26 pm

Ared,zulu but of a different tribe than me.Not very relevant(being diff tribe) to me per se, but since u american( i presume),thoght i might thrw it in there coz u might have other qstions.(and i be glad to share)

AmazonRed™

May 28th, 2009
12:26 pm

The cure for lateness is to leave. After waiting for a while and you have served warning before.. Just leave.

True story: The first time my dad was meeting my mom’s parents, he left. They were extremely late so he dipped out on them.

Dad is gangsta! :lol:

Rell - listening to the first 112 cd - now that we're done..

May 28th, 2009
12:27 pm

major of women yes black, are very pugnacious

- NOT TRUE…there are some but they dont count….trust me they are angry for a reason..and even dr phil cant fix there deep seated anger..i avoid those types…

Im ashamed to have foreigners or other races, witness the blow-up of a black woman because she need everyone within earshot know how she felt, I guess thats standing up for oneself…

- blow up??….wow…my brothers..how far have we fallen…you ashamed because someone else is showing out…not all black women speak or represent all that is black women…i could go in deep but we need to stop with the whole one represents all..cause i can use my fingers and toes and yours and show alot of HIGH QUALITY sisters…hell there are just too many to choose from…pray for me….lol

Mo (aka Moeisha- so excited)

May 28th, 2009
12:27 pm

Rell – I have been listening to the first Faith Evans cd this week. And Im glad you are “hawt”! LOL