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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Relationship A la Carte

Good Morning everyone! Today’s post is courtesy of our fabulous Raqi. If you are new to the MIA blog, Raqi is a married woman with a bambino on the way. Whenever she comments on relationships I perk up and take notes. She always provides insight about love and marriage without sugar coating things! Her topic today may strike a nerve for some of you but please read what she says carefully then weigh in with your comments!

In my early adult years I would hear of male-female relationships labeled with different terms. Traditional, Modern and Open. Those were considered the relationship combos as far as I am concerned. Today those terms still exist today but to some not in the same context. We have managed to construct relationships in a way that gives the benefit of one term sans the return responsibility.

The relationship a la carte. I, as most of you have read, am a traditionalist in the largest sense. I believe and practice the gender roles in my relationship. But that’s just me. What works for me does not necessarily work for others. That’s cool and that’s life. However, where I see the imbalance in some is with the picking and choosing of the relationship sectors. I find that many women want the benefits of having a traditional mate, yet they themselves do not care to take on the roles of the traditional woman.. There are men that desire the modernistic woman on one hand however he wants her to regard him as the head on the other.

It is all fair? Can we have it both ways? Can you enjoy the freedom of the open relationship and still get the devotion that comes with being monogamous?

I think not. But again that is just me. I read the other day where someone declared being a modern woman yet still wanted the protection of the days of old man.

Relationships are give and take. But can one give modern and expect traditional in return. Do you think we can pick and choose what part of the relationships we want to practice and it all work out in the end?

And not just that, how many of you buy into the together but separate ways of doing. Can a couple really be together yet live separate? Can you choose what part of the relationship you want to live as a couple and what parts you don’t?

540 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
8:15 am

The only way you can have it both ways is if you find someone to date whom you can control, or who is lacks a spine. Basically you are describing people who want all the benefits without making sacrifices or doing work.

Together but seperate? Well in certain ways that works, I do believe that each partner in a couple needs at least a couple friends beyond the “joint” friends… not to say that a man or woman need to have friends who are strangers to their mate, but you need to have some interaction with people who are outside your common circle of friends.

I do not buy into the whole thing about folks who are “seriously dating” or married who live apart or in seperate rooms by choice and who don’t live their lives together. There is something wrong, or those folks are married for the wrong reason. If you can’t spend time or sleep together then the problem need to be addressed, and if one party is unwilling to address the issue whether its medical, financial, or emotional then they are putting their selfishness before the relationship, which is not healthy for the relationship.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
8:25 am

I know a couple of married women who come out clubbing with me and my friends(guys and girls)…on a weekly basis (without their husbands) for months at a time and I always wonder what the deal is with that. Its not like once a month or a couple times a year, I mean every week sometimes twice a week for a couple months solid. Either these hubbys are using that time to cheat, or they are spineless dudes who do not realize what their wives are capable of doing when they are out drinking. I have seen these married women acting very single in the clubs.

Raqi

May 27th, 2009
8:28 am

East Point I encourage having friends to spend time with away from your spouse. It’s healthy. That’s not what I am talking about. By “together but separate” I am talking about being a part-time couple. You can’t give all of your time but hold back on the finances, for example. You can’t expect your woman to give all of her body and being while you ration out your time. If you are together you are together.

Dan

May 27th, 2009
8:34 am

I had a version of this conversation with a friend. In my travails of dating I find the same illogic quoted often by women “want[ing]the benefits of a traditional mate, yet do not take the role of a traditional woman.” And for yours truly, that is fine. I mean, I cook, clean, wash, sew, iron, and all the traditional “female” stuff because I don’t want to have to depend on a potential mate to have to do any of that for me. Strange thing is my divorced high school football coach impressed that on us.

And I can deal with a traditional woman, and be a version of a traditional man, but I’d rather not. I’d rather have a modern woman with her own opinion and engage in a healthy debate about the direction of our lives together.

I pray to be wise enough in life to know that I don’t know everything and that’s what I want in a mate. Someone to challenge me with the same veracity that she presents facts at work and I will her. In that (healthy tension) there lies the seeds for a great relationship.

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
8:45 am

RAQI (24? 23? Gimme my countdown so I can mastermind the kidna..uhh babysit!)

When I try to order a la carte at a restaurant, thinking if I just get the main element I’m craving, I’ll be good. But I usually end up disatisfied. And paying for extra stuff I really didn’t want, but thought I’d throw in to make it seem more like a complete meal. However, if I just focus on the entree that will satisfy most of what I’m craving for, I’m happiest. With leftovers I actually want to revisit. :idea: Guess I’ll just have to reserve a place on the mantel for the club that’ll come with my caveman.

What if I come back thru, with sumthin real foolish…

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
8:45 am

Raqi Gotcha…
Well I agree with that too. I mean you have to have a balance of everything. Ideally I would love to meet a women with whom I can share 100% of everything emotion, finance, thoughts, recreation, etc. But man…. its sooo hard to trust folks these days with all of the ulterior motives and doing what you have to do to get what you want from someone. I know friends who dated women for years, got engaged and some married while some didn’t make it that far… but either way they found out years into the game that their ladies had hidden major facts from them.. like one was still married to another dude, and another lied about her job and education for years. I mean love can cause you to let your guard down and get hit on the head when you are vulnerable.

In theory I would love to say I will be 100% open and share everything with my future wife (if there is one) because I don’t see myself marrying a woman I can’t share everything with. But at the same time I would require the same… I don’t believe that a man or woman should be maintianing a “just in case fund” in the event that there is a divorce. I say if you are that paranoid of divorce sign a pre-nup. Also as you said I don’t see myself being with someone who never/rarely wants to allow me into her world.

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
8:47 am

PROFESSOR D, You do not sit around in your courduroy blazer with the patches on the elbow sewing! Is this a utility borne of your proclaimed frugality or what?

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
9:01 am

Morning All!

Great topic Raqi! I think this relationship a la carte business is a result of our selfish society. A lot of things are ‘have it your way’ nowadays. Yes, I joke about being married with separate houses – but in all honesty I know that if I desire to be married then sharing a home with my husband comes with it. However, if I COULD have my cake and eat it too (stupid phrase, but I’ll use it) then I would totally jump on that deal. Unfortunately, there are probably some other heartaches that would outweigh the discomfort of sharing my space that I’d have to contend with…

I’m a traditionalist in that I believe there are certain roles in a relationship. I’m a modern woman in that my skillset is a mixture of the male and female roles. For me to take on the traditional ‘wife’ roles in a relationship would require a MAJOR shift for me, one that I’m not sure I could do. Yes, I can do all those things – but to do them on a regular basis with my work and workout schedule is not necessarily something I’m trying to do. But I still want a traditional man. In the end, for me, there’s a level of compromise – I may not get ALL the traditional ‘head’ characteristics in my husband, but I will get the ones I need. Similarly, my husband will get all he needs.

I think we can have it both ways (kind of an 80/20 ratio) if we find a mate that operates both ways. And in this day and age with so many single parent households, divorces, etc – a lot of men and women are doing both roles. After playing both roles for a long time, when the two people merge – the result may not be the man doing all the traditional male roles but if we choose wisely, the end result will workd for both parties.

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:02 am

Good Morning,

Long story short, I think anything and any arrangement can work as long as two people agree to it, regardless of how dysfunctional it may seem on the outside looking in. Think about the relationships that blossoms for those that are incarcerated. Many of those locked up are engaged and get married to those that are out here walking around quite frequently. As for modern vs. traditional I still feel the same way it will work as long as two people agree on it. Being a woman I value a lot of the traditional ways, however my background and upbringing allows me to embrace many of the modern moves. Guess what, I have been in relationships where the modern/traditional gave way to a nice recipe.

Raqi

May 27th, 2009
9:03 am

Dan That’s good. No one is knocking that.

TwoLincolns It’s 24 days until I go on maternity leave and 36 days until she is actually due to be born. And I only $2.50 an hour for babysitting.

EastPoint I struggle with this stuff also. I am learning as I go along. But I am very much aware of the selfishness and unfairness of wanting to pick and choose as it benefits me. I am not in this relationship by myself. I have to give what it is I want to receive. I knew the type of man that my husband was before agreeing to marry him. And I knew the type of wife I am willing to work to be. If I didn’t see that we were on the same page in the type of relationship we want I would not be married to him today. I don’t do everything right and neither does he but we at least have the same foundation for our relationship in mind.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
9:05 am

Morning Blog Fam!

I’m a little early today cause I’m blogging from home – going in late.

Great topic Raqi!

I am of the opinion that all relationships are a la carte, or a modified version of traditional. To explain this, I am remembering what my mom used to tell me – “You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors in other people’s houses”. I did not fully understand it until I got older and really observed the behavior of other people and the glimps I was able to see of the dynamics of their relationship, including my own parents. A lot of people are “traditional” out in pubic and for the church, but “non-traditional” or “modern” behind closed doors. Sometimes they offer others a peek behind those doors. Every couple does what works for them – they are grown and there is no rule book.

For example, an older couple we knew growing up slept in seperate bedrooms I found out thru my mom when I got older. She told me they dearly loved each other, but the husband snored very badly and wife just could not rest. They would get together intimately and hubby would lay beside wife until she fell asleep, then go into the other room to sleep. They would meet up in the morning. They were happily married until death parted them, over 50 years later. It’s what worked for them.

Even those who say they want traditional traits in a mate, yet are not traditional themselves – there is someone out there for them too. I’ve seen that work out quite well too. I know a couple where those roles are mixed and they would not have it any other way. The wife is feminine, yet kinda tomboyish. She is kinda “tough” – in the Air Force – and is the main breadwinner. They have 2 great kids. The husband is the “sensitive, romantic” one in the relationship, though he is no punk. He works from home and cared for the kids until they started school. He does most of the cooking, she cleans very well and is great in the yard! It all seems to work for them and knowing them I really could not see either of them with a “traditional-minded” person.

There has to be a meeting of the minds in what each person wants in the other. Once that happens, who cares what others think?!

Dan

May 27th, 2009
9:07 am

My2

Coach had gone through a reallly bad divorce after 20 years. In a team meeting he started talking about the difficulties of life.

A grown man telling me he didn’t know how to wash clothes or cook nothing, only warm isht up, it hurt my feelings. And I never forgot it.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
9:07 am

mytw♥tatas I love your restaurant analogy. I am notorious for ‘wasting’ food when I go out simply because I want just a taste of different things. It’s much easier to get it all in an entree than to order separately and when it’s all said and done – the meal ordered a la carte does cost more. And usually, the things that I don’t care for in the entree aren’t major enough for me to discard the entire meal.

The same principle can be used when choosing a mate. There are some things about my guy that irk me, but they are minor and the overall entree of him keeps me satisfied so I’m good! ;-)

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:09 am

@ Kimmie my grandparents had separate rooms as well. I never thought twice about it and they were married over 50 years.

Raqi

May 27th, 2009
9:12 am

After playing both roles for a long time

Tazzee that was my life. However in that I always knew what it was I wanted in and from a relationship. We had and occasionally still do have our tug-a-wars on matters because I took care of myself and my kids all by myself. When he says let him handle it…I’ll just say this, it is becoming easier to do that now.

And no one get me wrong, I am not campaigning for the traditional way, I am just saying that you can’t give one way but expect another way in return without the understanding of your mate.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
9:14 am

ALl this talk about “having my own” reminds me ov a debate I got into with a young lady last week. She said that she would never take any man seriously unless he said “Hey baby I got you, you don’t have to work anymore…” I said well if a man said that what sacrifices are you willing to make? what rules of the house are you willing to abide by? And what does that mean, would you be fine living in a nice house, decent car and shopping once a month or so? Or do you expect to go shopping every other day and keep the newest Benz 550 or 600 in the driveway every year? This particular woman said she was down with the program… if her man provided all she reqired she would keep him fed, clothed, happy in all ways, etc… so I can’t really get on her too hard.

So my question here is for all the “I can/want/will have my own women… if a man said you could sit back and not work, would you do it? And if so what is the limit of your man’s requirements/expectations that you could live with? ( pre-nup?, cooking, cleaning, sexual expectations, spending limits, etc. oh yeah, and what if he had other women on the side but kept you happy at home???)

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
9:16 am

Sorry about the slight topic change… my bad… but hey I have been here for 3-4 years and this is my first time… LoL
Also this is my first time plugging my new blog so go check it out
http://hispointofview.com

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:23 am

Whew!!! Good morning all. Great topic today Raqi.

Yes, I have to admit, I’ve claimed to be a traditional woman, but then want my independence and other things a la carte. I don’t think you can have it both ways, really without changing what it is.

As I stated recently, having a traditional man highlighted that I need to do more to become a more traditional woman. I’ve had to stop being so independent at times and just let him handle things. Fortunately it’s not a threat to my womanhood.

In other news, new boo asked me my sex number last night! I really didn’t think that still happened to folks in their 30s. :lol:

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
9:25 am

The REAL PROFESSOR Don’t you think there’s A LOT more to those Prison Love Stories than compromise, tho?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:26 am

Oh and as for separate but equal… my friends think I’m not into guys because I still need my “me” time. Driving home from new boo’s place I was thinking to myself that I just want a day to myself to catch up on my full DVR. :lol: I don’t think he’d mind, but I’m trying to figure out how much “separate” is enough without pushing him away.

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:26 am

@ East Point-

So my question here is for all the “I can/want/will have my own women… if a man said you could sit back and not work, would you do it?

I have been drawing a paycheck for 20 years and prior to that my parents gave me an allowance, with that said it is in me to my very core to do some kind of work. Therefore if a man said I do not have to work I would still work and tell him to handle everything as if I did not work, and we could use my income as ancillary e.g. to save more in the kids 529 plan, invest more for retirement, becoming debt free etc. I am passionate about my career and I love what I do, it would be painful to give that up.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
9:27 am

Good Morning All,

Let me see if I follow because there seems to be several topics roled into this one. Open relationships, the well worn modern -traditional battle royal.(Who really is right?) and the ever popular separate but together. Not sure if I follow or even where to start..but here goes.

Not every person, situation, or life is the same. So there is no way to say that every relationship, should, can or will follow some pre-design pattern. IMHO relationships are not cookie-cutter. They are all hybrids. Bits and pieces of all these pre-designed ideas and tradtional elements.

In the terms of open relationship..I am not sure how you define it but I always thought it meant the two people were together(married in name only) yet choose to date, or fool around with other people.(I called this the swinger mentality)–I consider all dating relationships open until confirmed committment by both parties.

As for separate lives..are we talking about married people? Because again I think dating couples date for companionship..but share separate lives -I really don’t see a problem with this. I mean if I am dating a man I have no desire to share every waking moment or interest he has..anymore than I would expect him to share all of my interest and desire. For example, my desire is to go to law school, if I am dating a guy who has no interest what so ever in law I wouldn’t expect him to share my same passion for the law..but I would ask that he respect my desire to follow that passion.

Thats all I got this early in the morning.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
9:31 am

Dan – I noticed you mentioned a lot of difficulties some friends you have had with marriage and the women they choose. 2 guys come to mind that I’ve dated that sound like you and your friends.

If you ever would like a happy, positive relationship for yourself, you might want to limit you dealings with those guys, or at least the convo about relationships. I’ve observed that men that I see that seem happy in their relationships and marriages have positive, like-minded friends! Those that are miserable, untrusting of women, unfaithful, players – friends are the same! Misery LOVES company! My SO is a widower and by all accounts had a great marriage for 11 years. Other than the one couple that is seperated, all his friends SEEM to be happily married family men!. In fact, just being around him and his friends renewed my faith that there are great AA men out there that are committed and love their families. It is a truly different world versus my experience with the other 2 guys I mentioned above!

Speaking of your coach, my mom raised my brothers to be able to do traditional things for themselves. She said everyone should be able to care for themselves anyway and they may not meet & marry a traditional woman like their mother. They appreciate her wisdom to this day!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:34 am

@ Kimmie my grandparents had separate rooms as well. I never thought twice about it and they were married over 50 years

My aunt has her “own” room along with her the room she has with her husband. She doesn’t use it often, but it’s there when she wants her “me” time. She’s in a house full of men (they have two sons) so it helps keep her sane. He sons had a share a room their whole lives because my aunt wasn’t giving up her “woman cave” :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:34 am

Oh, and my aunt never cooked either. My uncle was the cook in the family. How I envy that sometimes! :lol:

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:34 am

@ mytw♥tatas in all honesty I think there is a lot more to most people love stories, marriages etc., not just those that are locked up. I will say this I have seen all types and read about even more. There was a story a few years back that talked about couples living in separate houses and they actually “appeared” happier than those under the same roof. I just feel that human beings are complex walking contradictions and you never know the whole truth and nothing but the truth about them due to all the pompous

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:39 am

I am just saying that you can’t give one way but expect another way in return without the understanding of your mate

Raqi – I love how you put this. I think the one problem I have with being traditional is having to work. If I’m brining home the bacon too, you should be pulling your weight on the domestic front. But many men claim they want a traditional woman, but then putting the burden of the responsibilities onto the woman.

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:42 am

@ARed…I concur

If I’m brining home the bacon too, you should be pulling your weight on the domestic front.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:43 am

if a man said you could sit back and not work, would you do it?

EPO – I’d do it in a heartbeat. But I came from a household with a stay at home mom. i especially want to do it if we had kids. It annoys me a bit how folks have kids and then no one is willing to stick around and raise them.

But no, he can’t have other women on the side. What kind of ish is that?! He’s providing for his family, he doesn’t get a pass for doing what he is supposed to do. I’m at home, but I’m pulling my weight as well and managing the household, him and the kids.

MissQC

May 27th, 2009
9:44 am

Morning Bloggers…….have a great day ;;)

http://www.blackthen.com

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
9:45 am

Kym – Yeah, I did not understand the “dating seriously” issue in the topic. I meam, it is what it is. I consider me & SO dating seriously, leading to marriage. We spend almost every weekend with each other and see each other a few times during the week, especially at choi kwang do. He has his house with his kids and I have my own home. Until we decide to marry and join households, that’s how it will remain. We don’t have to “shack” to prove our commitment to each other.

Amred – If your relationship is secure with new boo, a day or 2 of “me” time should not be a big deal! In fact, it’s required!!LOL!!

Dan

May 27th, 2009
9:48 am

@My2

I appreciate the advice too. I mean, learning how and learning to love cooking is best thing I’ve gotten from it. But being self-sufficient in that regard is comforting.

By no means though do I expect to have to work, cook, clean and all that just because I can (I realize that wasn’t your point), but there are ladies out here that don’t iron (shocked me), don’t know how to iron, clean, cook, etc. And I hear these things on dates – and me being me- the women are never at a loss as to why there isn’t a second date.

As has been stated, it’s about the agreement between the two parties; but man, it is hard finding a woman that can deal on that level.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:48 am

Amred – If your relationship is secure with new boo, a day or 2 of “me” time should not be a big deal! In fact, it’s required!!LOL!!

kimmie – It’s just funny the way it comes out. No I’d rather not spend time with you today because I’d rather watch my DVR. :lol: I know I might give the :???: if someone told me that! (though I’d ultimately understand. :lol: )

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
9:49 am

So my question here is for all the “I can/want/will have my own women… if a man said you could sit back and not work, would you do it? And if so what is the limit of your man’s requirements/expectations that you could live with? ( pre-nup?, cooking, cleaning, sexual expectations, spending limits, etc. oh yeah, and what if he had other women on the side but kept you happy at home???)

East perrnt If I had a man to tell me that I wouldn’t accept it b/c Iv’e always worked and had my own PLUS if I was at home all day what would I be doing….besides go crazy. Maybe if there was some kind of extenuating circumstance like an illness or school then that would be different. As for other women on the side, uh hellz naw bruh. I am a one man woman and I expect that in return.

On topic: Me being the person that I am, I’ve done the a la carte thing before(to an extent) b/c I want to be/feel independent of my SO but still be treated like a lady/woman in the traditional sense of our relationship. Sometimes when two people get together one person loses themselves and morphs into whomever they THINK the other person wants them to be and in the end they become bitter and disillusioned when things don’t work out. I still think people will do what works for them even if it looks weird to those who are on the outside looking in…..now-a-days there just seems to be alot of different labels for the same “repackaged” situation.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
9:54 am

Either these hubbys are using that time to cheat, or they are spineless dudes who do not realize what their wives are capable of doing when they are out drinking. I have seen these married women acting very single in the clubs

U know what EPO, i have seen that oftentimes and i used to think its an african american tradition.Guess, i am learning evryday!! U are afr/american urself,right EPO?
Thanx for that insight.
Uall know where i stand,unaplogetic Traditionalist with a capital T.Evething runs thru ME! I am CEO/Executive chairman combo.
Open marriage.. LMAOF. :lol:
Who really has an open marriage that they are proud off and they go on a limp,publicly to say so and the marriage(if we can call it that) is successful??? Who??? :???: :roll: :lol:

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
9:55 am

Hey TAZ- I definitely think we get tunnel vision and forget to weigh the (emotional/mental) costs of being all over the place with what it’ll take to satisfy us. Then we’re still left wanting something more…

PROFESSOR I can rock with you on that. Whenever we’re out and we see what to outsiders may be a mismatched couple and somebody makes a negative comment, I’m thinkin: They ‘work’ for each other on some level we’re just not privvy to. Caveat – still can’t stand dude driving her car w/ sorority plates!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
9:57 am

there are ladies out here that don’t iron (shocked me), don’t know how to iron, clean, cook, etc.

Dan – Men too.

Don’t be shocked. If the ladies are not being raised to be self-sufficient, it only stands that men are not either.

EVERYONE should be self-sufficient, traditional or not! At that has been since the beginning of time, not just MODERN times. Forget divorce, suppose you lose your spouse – or never get married in the first place?!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
9:57 am

Caveat – still can’t stand dude driving her car w/ sorority plates!

:lol: That annoys me too.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
9:57 am

Good morning. Excellent topic, Raqi. I personally do not believe in “open” relationships. That’s 2009’s version of FWB. I lean more toward the “traditional” relationship where the man is at the head and we lean on each other to strenghten the relationship. I complement him and he in turn complements me.

Professor

May 27th, 2009
9:58 am

@ Dan you are stepping on my toes regarding the ironing…LOL I was never good at it…in the past six years I have used that iron maybe twice.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
9:59 am

NO!!!! I could not give up working because the love of my life would take care of everything. I don’t know about some of you but I work and go to school because not only do I desire the cheddar and the knowledge needed to make more cheddar, but I really enjoy what I do. I don’t always like my co-workers and certainly there are classes that wear me the hell out. But I go because I truly love learning. I am a knowledge junkie. And the idea of sitting at home 24/7 would drive me ape shyt batty. For example, I love my son I could not imagine life without him. But when he turned six weeks old I was back at work. There is only so much convo you can have with a 6 week old and even now at 13 I have to an outlet. Working gives me that outlet. Everythang aint for everybody…not working is not for me.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
10:02 am

Where’s Mr. PoppaG to tell me where the Howell Mill milkshake spot is….Let do this.

Hello everyone.

Who really has an open marriage that they are proud off and they go on a limp,publicly to say so and the marriage(if we can call it that) is successful???

You’ve said a mouthful already! So what! I agree…Melo. I’m just to tired to add to it.

I’m sooo tired this morning. The Cavs/Magic game went into overtime and I’m went into overkill this morning – I need sugar!!! :)

Professor

May 27th, 2009
10:03 am

Me too with the sorority plates…pet peeve to the fullest.

@ Melo I did not have a chance to post yesterday evening, but I do not mind making a trip to get my soul food plate at Walter’s. No, I do not eat with the women on the ave., but I do not have a problem occupying the same place with them if they are in line as well. My Daddy raised me not to look up to anyone or down on anyone, but to look everyone straight in the eye.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:05 am

@East Point- I registered for your site. Let me know how I can contribute. I like the theme “hispointofview”

On Topic: You get it how you live it. I am a traditionalist, I’m that guy who if the woman didn’t want to work she doesnt have to…but yet that comes at a price she needs to maintain the household, not 24/7 nut the majority of the time. On the other hand if she wants to work that’s her decision, she is not obligated to..but there is none of that “i’ve alway’s got my own” stuff it’s “ours” and it works both ways because we both have our share of the burden to carry even though as a man mine is significantly higher than hers. In relationships there are bound to be disciplines that one is better than the other at. You just have to recognize each others strong attributes. Take me for an example, I can not budget for the life of me. I make money I’m never broke..I just cant budget…Usually women are great at that so I put that on her(if she can handle it), now that doesnt compromise my manhood, she is just better at it than I am. I notice sometimes while dating that the woman wants the everything man while she is not willing to be the everything woman. I see relationships like this. A man is supposed to be a covering, not a lid. Envision a can with a lid on it, there is no room for movement for the woman that is covered she is trapped. The man in the relationship should be more like an umbrella type covering. I am going to hold that umbrella up and keep myself dry, the woman has to chose if she wants to stand beside me and all that comes with it to be sheltered from the storm.

Dan

May 27th, 2009
10:05 am

@Kimmie

I know some guys that are completely useless. There are skills that they just never felt like the needed to know. Including one (good friend) that said: “that’s why God created women”.

@Prof

I can dig it. If it’s not a skill that you possess, I’m good with a woman wanting to learn.

The women I’m talking about think that drycleaning, eating out constantly, are the way to live. That combined with a high level of shopping screams “debt” to me. And I’m instantly turned off.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:06 am

Good Morning All

Raqi- Interesting topic..

I don’t understand people who want to get married but then need time alone.. Living in seperate houses doesn’t make any sense to me. Why get married if you still want to live a single life? The person I marry WILL be the person I COMPLETELY love and WANT to spend the rest of my life with. When you feel that way about a person, “me time” consist of the two of you since you have a joint union. It is really critical that people choose their mate appropriately!

Traditional vs Modern.. I am somewhat of a traditional woman when it comes to my willingness to submit and knowing that everything doesn’t require an answer.. Basically, knowing my place in my relationship. Now, I don’t know how to sew.. lol! I can learn though :) Everything else comes like second nature to me..

EPO- if a man said you could sit back and not work, would you do it? Couldn’t do it for long..

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
10:10 am

The only way I could give up working is if I had a small child to care for, but as soon as that child was old enough to go to daycare, I would need at least a part-time job. And the only exchange for me staying at home would be that I would be taking care of his child full-time. All that other crap is a no-go, it would be the same as if I were working. Shoot, I’m his wife not his hired help.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
10:10 am

In todays society I think Marriage is out dated. I favor Committed Companionship over Marriage because it keeps everyone honest. I say that because at any given moment you can walk away. It keeps everyone on their best behavior as opposed to being married and knowing I got her/him now so I dont have to keep up the excitement. The I got papers on you menatlity sets in. “Youze mines Harpo and I’ll kill ya dead”.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:12 am

Open marriage.. LMAOF.
Who really has an open marriage that they are proud off and they go on a limp,publicly to say so and the marriage(if we can call it that) is successful??? Who???

:lol: :lol: :lol: LMAO.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
10:12 am

W8 – Under my um-ber-ella, ella, ella! Deep!

Melo – I agree about the open marriage thing. They act like it’s so great and they got it all figured out in the beginning. Then ish falls completely apart! They are not built for long term! Somebody or both gonna get hurt!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:12 am

@My2- I used to hate driving my ex’s car(she had the 4 seater mine has only 2) with the sorority plates on it and the little girly thing hanging from the mirror even though I bought the car..but hey if I didnt drive it..it would have never gotten washed nor had oil and tire changes..lol..I used to get in trouble for not putting that thing back on the rearview mirror all of the time..lmao…no worries now though we broke up and you darn right I took the car back and dont feel bad about it

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
10:14 am

Cemeeli – I came back to try to answer you yesterday, but the blog was shut down – are you talking about Flip – the gourmet burger place that has the Krispy Kreme milkshake?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:14 am

And the idea of sitting at home 24/7 would drive me ape shyt batty.

Kym – Just because you’re at home, doesn’t mean you’re chained to the house. Keep learning and going to school. That’s allowed. :lol:

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
10:15 am

For a very long time, I was a 100% traditional woman. Prepared to submit, serve, cater to and spoil my man in any way, shape, form or fashion. The problem I kept running into – I have not met the traditional man who can hold up his end of the deal.

And quite frankly, I’ve become a bit jaded. So, right now, I am making it up as I go along and doing what works for me. I am tired of the men who want to physical benefits of the relationship with none of the emotional, financial or mental responsibilities. Sybil and Jazzy mentioned a term yesterday – “fugging for sport”. I’ve run into a lot of that lately. And I’m over it. As a result, I am spending time with myself, looking inside to see what it is that I am doing that I continually attract this into my life.

Like JFoxx says, “I got options. I don’t need it.”

Three Words Daily – Free your mind.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
10:18 am

AmazonRedI only threw that in because I have been told by a couple women that as long as their man keeps them & the kids financially set ( and I mean very financialy set.. LoL) and he is around to help raise the kids, they will accept him seeing other women.

Melo What are you saying? that you no longer think is an African American tradition? I mean I one of the women I am speaking of is asian… so I can’t cosign on that. But yes I am African American… still not sure how that factors in though.

Everybody not working does not mean staying in the house… I know a woman who does not work but she volunteers several days a week with emotionally and mentally challenged kids and I used to live in Bham and there were a lot of well off families there where the wives did not work and there was a lively housewife scenes around town during working hours (classes, workshops, social events, etc) I never said you had to be at home with the kids… what about the years of marriage before and after the kids???

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
10:18 am

W8 – Under my um-ber-ella, ella, ella! Deep!

Kimmie hahahaha…rotf.

Tazzee – Okay “Flip” right off Howell Mill…lemme tell them.

I need a Krispy Kreme too! As you can tell i’m on a sugar low.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:18 am

The only way I could give up working is if I had a small child to care for, but as soon as that child was old enough to go to daycare, I would need at least a part-time job

Tazzee – Several of my co-workers put their kids in daycare at 6 weeks old, so apparently, that’s old enough. :lol:

Professor

May 27th, 2009
10:22 am

@ W8 I am good for getting my cars serviced but washing, waxing and buffing that is something else. Needless to say I have a two seater now and I still cannot keep it together and we will not talk about my other car…LOL

I guess I need to make a trip to Cactus Carwash

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
10:22 am

AmRed – I wouldn’t put them in at 6 weeks, more like 12 months with some part-time day care starting at 6 months so they can learn some social skills. I’d be so upset if I missed my baby’s first steps, first tooth, etc. I can’t imagine picking him up from daycare and them telling me he walked that day :-(

But then again – if I needed to work to pay the bills, I’d get over it I guess.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:22 am

Ared- That is retarded! 6 months? I am not leaving my child with anyone(besides certain family members) before they are 2!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
10:22 am

Honeslty most women dont even know what a real man is these days. They are so used to wearing their dudes pants they dont know how to wear their skirt. There are still Men out there who wear their pants and could care less how you feel about it. There are Dudes out there who believe that a woman cant tell a man anything about how to be a man. So many women have opinions about what makes a man. I have a novel idea for you.. Try worring about what makes a woman and let a man worry about being a man, that way you dont have the pressure of trying to build a man a la carte. When you have been working on being the best woman you can be you will know immediately when you meet a dude if he is what you need.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:23 am

@Kimmie- How you been? eh eh eh eh..lol but that’s just the way I see things.

@SexyCool- I can see where you are coming from with that, a lot of people just don’t know how to act and it’s not our job to teach them.. On the dating scene now i’ve seen some women who try and use the sex as a tool, that crap doesnt work for me. I want to explore her mind first if I am not comfortable mentally nothing is going to happen. Options are always there and the cream rises to the top.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:23 am

Cemeeli – There is some sort of marshmellow/nutella shake at Flip that is good too, so try that one in additon to the Krispy Kreme.

I went on my expense account so I pretty much tried the whole menu while I was there. :lol:

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
10:23 am

Professor – I’ve been blessed in that every job I’ve had for the past 10 years has had a car wash service that came to the job. That is SO convenient. Even with that, I’ve been guilty of needing a wash every now and then – especially during rainy seasons like this.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
10:24 am

Professor – Yeah, that’s me all the way. At least you’re going to Cactus – I think I,m doing something if I go thru the drive-thru!LOL!!

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
10:25 am

Why does everyone keep equating not working with raising kids and housework… I posted an open question I did not say you had to do any of that… My question was how many rules/requirement or rathe what rules/requirements could you live by if your man gave you that option.

So basically if you could not work what’s the limit of the amount of control he could have over you for you to have that “freedom” of not having a 9 to 6. Would you cook/clean/break the bank spending/raise kids/ etc. Or is it a no-go under all circumstances???

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:26 am

Ared- That is retarded! 6 months? I am not leaving my child with anyone(besides certain family members) before they are 2!

No Lioness, 6 WEEKS.

Dan

May 27th, 2009
10:27 am

@EPO

I had a young lady flat out tell me that when she had kids (after marriage) that she wouldn’t work til they were in kindergarten. My mouth dropped.

I was like “Really? In the meantime, what if hubby gotta get to/tree jobs (In Living Color fans know that one)?” Her reply, “Then he has to.” Wooooooooooow

Melo

May 27th, 2009
10:27 am

I know some guys that are completely useless. There are skills that they just never felt like the needed to know. Including one (good friend) that said: “that’s why God created women

I luv how we all go on extremes when discussing certain topics on the blog!
Traditional,in my book does not necessarily mean that the wife has to stay at home.She can or could if thats what uall decide to do but i dont think that is necessarily the qualifier.What defines a Traditional marriage is really a mix of things.
The man is ceratinly the head of the family,the backbone,the bread winner,the rock,the decision maker,the go to guy etc.
There are certain things in my home that i dont make decsions on.So do not take decision maker point abve as gospel.Example,my wife wants to change the tiling in her kitchen,she may say ‘daddy,what u think’.I put in my opinion but iam not gonna lose sleep on it coz she handling it.I do cook on occasion if i want to or have to but thats her show.There are multiple things i do that she dont have to or wont do coz that my thang to handle.If shes working late, i used to cook for both of us be4 she arrived home.My girls do that now.
Dan’s friends version of traditional is close to slavery! :lol: Good luck with that in 2009!
My soon to be 4 year old is now learning to put the outside lights on(protector).I told him thats hiz job and now eve nite he says,”daddy,im gon do my job’ He will learn more protector roles as he grows older.But yes,the mom is gonna teach him how to clean,iron,cook coz everybody needs to know that for basic survival.Common sense u would think? :) Maybe not for some. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:28 am

AmazonRedI only threw that in because I have been told by a couple women that as long as their man keeps them & the kids financially set ( and I mean very financialy set.. LoL) and he is around to help raise the kids, they will accept him seeing other women.

:???: Dumb broads. I guess those are the women that really enter a marriage to have kids. I didn’t believe those existed til abc stated he married one. Then I had a girlfriend admit that she wants the kids more than the man anyway and once it comes down to caring for her child or working on her marriage the child will win! :shock:

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:29 am

Ared- WTH? Something is WRONG with that person! I couldn’t do anything but worry about my child @ that time! Homegirl was just able to start having sex again.. Dropping the baby off with strangers.. WOW!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
10:29 am

W8 – I’ve been great, dawg, just getting crunk for summer! I’m home this morning, finally doing my clothes rotation – packing away the winter stuff and glad to see it go for awhile!!!

Of course, I did the shoe collection awhile back!

Really, really trying to get this exercise program going – on top of taking my martial arts classes. I really want to get in better shape and be completely serious about it.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
10:31 am

W8 THanks for signing up… I just started that blog Thursday or Friday so I have not really figured out where to go with it yet… I am looking at my fan base and trying to determine what they like to read about. BUt basically I am trying to get dudes’ wardrobe( and their woman’s wardrobe), wine lists, and minds right ( concerning relationships and finances) as well as a few entertaining articles to keep folks interested. Its a lot in the world that I have seen and until others are exposed they won’t know that they can do better and get more out of life.
Basically if you went to the site you can send me any ideas or suggestions related to the subject matter. I have the email address you registered with so I will be in contact.

http://hispointofview.com

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:31 am

@Professor- I’m a regular at Cactus Carwash on piedmont,I get my haircut right across the street @71 so i’m there every saturday morning for a few hours. What model do you have? I have a black Z06 and just ordered a ZR1 that will be here at the end of July. There is a minority vette owners club that Chief Pennington actually heads up, you should check it out.

@Infamous DK- I AGREE WITH YOU 100% somehow some way you should post your 10:22am every single day..or mass email it out or something

Melo

May 27th, 2009
10:31 am

EPO, I meant ur point where u referenced married or supposedly married women in clubs week in week out,without their husbands.I thoght that was an african american tradition of independence but married.That was my point.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
10:32 am

A man should be a covering! Most definitely!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:32 am

I had a young lady flat out tell me that when she had kids (after marriage) that she wouldn’t work til they were in kindergarten. My mouth dropped.

I love it. Again, I don’t understand why folks have kids to allow someone else to raise them. You kids will only be babies once.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:33 am

EPO- So basically if you could not work what’s the limit of the amount of control he could have over you for you to have that “freedom” of not having a 9 to 6. Would you cook/clean/break the bank spending/raise kids/ etc. Or is it a no-go under all circumstances???

CONTROL?? Who would want to be CONTROLLED in a relationship because they were given the option to not work? Me being controlled is a No Go!

Professor

May 27th, 2009
10:34 am

@East Point- I guess my option of continuing to work usinge my income as ancillary e.g. to save more in the kids 529 plan, invest more for retirement, becoming debt free etc. is not an option.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:36 am

Ared- WTH? Something is WRONG with that person! I couldn’t do anything but worry about my child @ that time! Homegirl was just able to start having sex again.. Dropping the baby off with strangers.. WOW!

Lioness, it’s really more common than you think. Some folks can’t afford to take the time off. My co-worker chose 6 weeks so she’d still have enough leave if the baby got sick (and by putting your kid in daycare with all those other kids means they get sick a LOT!)

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
10:36 am

I had a young lady flat out tell me that when she had kids (after marriage) that she wouldn’t work til they were in kindergarten.

That’s not unheard of, especially among the “swiss” – I ran into a lot of them at UGA, especially those there to get their M-R-S degree! If she wants to be a stay-at-home mom and that’s what her husband wants, it’s all good. Just like what EPO asked – what if he wanted her home? You’re not that kind of dude.

It’s just now what YOU want in a woman, Dan – but what’s so wrong with that?

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
10:37 am

I just want to meet someone who knows how to play his position and that will allow me to play mine. However, today’s societal influences has perpetuated a relationship environment that is skewed. So much so, that most people would be incapable of assuming the role that they are supposed to play even if it were scripted specifically for them.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:37 am

@EastPoint- I will ride with you over there, sounds like my kind of “blog”

@Kimmie – I feel ya..oddly enough I am trying to slow it down this summer and move back out to the ‘burbs..lol

Professor

May 27th, 2009
10:39 am

W8- I have a Black coupe, and I love it. My other car is a sports car as well. Do you mind giving me the info about the vette club? I have been looking to join a club, but I have not found one yet that I was comfortable with (b/c of the reasons you stated). By the way, how did you know my two-seater was a vette? Most people think it is something like the Saturn Sky or Solstice when I say I have a two seater…you know something more feminine. That is the Cactus I go to on Saturdays when I get my car clean…

M'

May 27th, 2009
10:41 am

I think that this issue is one of the most salient reasons that there are so many ppl in my generation (the baby boomers) are reaching middle age and…either we have never been married (like myself and several other ppl that I know) or because we can not sustain long term relationships and have histories of multiple marriages and divorces.

Many of us grew up in the age of transition from traditionalist marriage units to the divorce culture…so there is a wide range of mixed experiences in our backstories…quite often when I have heard couples in my age group talk about growing apart from each other…what they usually meant was that the initial understanding of the relationship was based on a traditionalist paradigm…but as society changed, as the roles of women changed, as opportunities to pursue other options changed…so did the expectations of the relationship…it seemed that while most of the men still expected the traditionalist paradigm of a relationship…the women started feeling the desire or need to become less traditionalist, thus wanting or expecting a shift in the paradigm to suit their own personal growth agendas…and with divorce now a more commonly accepted out…many marriages ended rather than remain intact.

The other side of this issue in our generation is that some men who grew up in traditionalist households…and who did not value the “housewife” status of their mothers…wanted a woman who was willing to work and to contribute to the household income…but at the same time, these same men could not do any of the traditional household duties required to make it a mutual endeavor of exchange…these relationship paradigms did not work well either.

Just an observation.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:42 am

@lioness- “CONTROL?? Who would want to be CONTROLLED in a relationship because they were given the option to not work? Me being controlled is a No Go!”

What’s your definition of controlled? If a woman is not working her roll at home has to increase..plain and simple.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
10:42 am

Dan Well I would love to be that dude who could support a wife and kids without her having to work… but I am not at that point yet… any woman with that requirement will have to keep on walking for a couple more years… LoL But really I don’t think I could date a woman who had that as a requirement… in today’s society that’s still the best way as far as the kids are concerned but not many people can afford to live that way even wit two tree jobs.

I make more than both my parents combined, but my costs of living are much higher than theirs(my town house cost on 1/2 acre in VA cost more than their house on 3 acres in ATL), and I could definitely not support a wife unless she was completely debt free and I did not have to cover any of her financial obligations from prior to our meeting.

So if a woman expected me to support her at this point in my life she would have to sit her arse inthe house all day… LoL

Kym

May 27th, 2009
10:43 am

@DK I like that idea. I have battle royals with family about marriage. I am perfectly happy with the idea of a very long term committed relationship. I am not pressed to get married.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:43 am

@East Point- I guess my option of continuing to work usinge my income as ancillary e.g. to save more in the kids 529 plan, invest more for retirement, becoming debt free etc. is not an option.

Professor – I want to work after I marry just to use my income as savings. That way, if I want to stay home after the babies come, or one of us wants to go back to school full time, etc… we have built a nest egg.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
10:45 am

I just want to meet someone who knows how to play his position and that will allow me to play mine

If u lucky and persistent SexxyCool u can meet that person.But u have to ward thru a lot of weeds and woods coz there is so much confusion out there.To be a traditional man,it takes seeing it being practiced elsewhere,oftetimes,in his/ur home by ur parents,uncles,aunts etc.There is a zulu saying, translate,”to inherit/achieve success,u gotta see success at work or in practice”When u meet a potentail dude,try meet their family too,see how they interract,inquire about them and their life styles,who is married to who etc.
If there is no pattern of successful marriages in his background,then u know the deal.
NOW!!, dont let that sexx confuse ya. :lol:

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:47 am

W8- Having me on a schedule that I have no say so. That word Control is a strong word to me..

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
10:49 am

SexyCool – I think thats what we are all looking for. In a right now culture no one believes in getting toknow someone for real anymore. I say step back and slow the world down around you and you will see whats going on. Its almost like a movie on fast motion while youre moving slow, eventually you will see someone in the background moving at your speed.

Professor

May 27th, 2009
10:49 am

@ Ared I agree with you totally some money is there to fall back on.

Ohh I forgot to mention that I have taught classes online so I could actually stay home and still make a few pennies, or teach at night a little if it was about staying home for the kids…

Dan

May 27th, 2009
10:51 am

@Kimmie

Naw, it ain’t what I want, and the point was made during the conversation.

But it leads me to SexyCool’s point about a “scripted role”. Ain’t nothing scripted about this life, IMO. I can only be the D and those that ride with it, ride with it. Those that don’t, I ain’t mad at cha.

Thing of it is, to my mind a lot of people spend more time wondering what “role” they want to play or want their partner to play, and no time to who they are. And to DK’s point, being the best “you” you can be, everything else will fall into place on that line.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:51 am

@Professor- How did I know you have a Vette.lol..I pay attention to details all of the time and reading what you have typed in the past about your car I knew it was a vette. It’s a national organization and I’m a memebr of the Atlanta chapter It’s an invitation only club so I will hook you up with it. It’s about 45% women so it’s not an all boys club and it’s fun but yet mature. If you remember a few years ago in the news Chief Pennington got in some trouble because he had some on duty officers escorting us..so we ran redlights and sped all over the place..lol

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
10:52 am

Professor Naw, I am keeping it simple either you work or you don’t. SO I guess you are in the pile with those who would not give up working no matter what.

Lioness Its not for everybody… but unless your man whas Bill Gates money and also does not care where you are and what you do no body is going to give you keys to the kingdom and the checkbook without some strings attached. 99% of women who don’t have to work have some types of expectaions placed upon them, if it be: staying in shape, looking like a model 24/7,spending limits, cooking, sex, etc… there is some element of control in these relationships. Why would I give you everything and not require anything of you? SO women who accept these deals are willing to accept some level of control by their man.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
10:54 am

@lioness- At the end of the day the man has the control to say yes or no.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
10:54 am

Ohh I forgot to mention that I have taught classes online so I could actually stay home and still make a few pennies, or teach at night a little if it was about staying home for the kids…

Professor – Exactly. Working from home is great! :lol: Being a stay at home mom or wife is really not a death sentence. You can do plenty of things to get what you need out of the adult world. You’re just not a slave to having a 9-5 anymore.

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
10:54 am

I have not met the traditional man who can hold up his end of the deal….And quite frankly, I’ve become a bit jaded. So, right now, I am making it up as I go along and doing what works for me. I am tired of the men who want to physical benefits of the relationship with none of the emotional, financial or mental responsibilities.

SexyCool I feel you and agree….I know for a fact that at one point I was quite jaded and in my pursuit of “doing me” I became selfish…to a degree. Currently I’m single so the selfishness isn’t effecting anyone but like you said “fuggin’ for sport” is some college type ish I got past a looong time ago.

I also cosign with your 10:27 as well….good point. Keep it 100, girl do your thang :)

NY2GA, Inc.

May 27th, 2009
10:55 am

As a result, I am spending time with myself, looking inside to see what it is that I am doing that I continually attract this into my life.

@SEXYCOOL

I took this quote out of your post to say that spending time with yourself is always good, but so far as attracting those that like to do it for sport…it may not be about you. I see it this way… It is like shooting a gun at a target. Sometimes you hit the mark that you anticipated and sometimes you don’t. They see you as a target and try to run game to see if you are with it (sport fuggin). If you are- they hit the mark. So, I’d say that the reason why you may be attracting these dudes may only be because you are female…nothing deeper than that. Based on their experience with other women they may have been conditioned to think that the same approaches and tactics may work with you, too. It may not be that you are putting energy out there that says “come to me.” They’re coming anyway.

Man sees woman. Man becomes intrigued. Lightbulb goes off in head…he wants to pursue/hunt to try to meet his hunger for intimacy. He’ll try. Either he’ll succeed or fail in getting you to meet his needs. In the meantime, you weren’t doing anything but enjoying your space and “doing you.”

Kym

May 27th, 2009
10:58 am

@EPO it would be a no-go for me. There is no way in the hell I would stop working. I enjoy what I do to much. As for the child going to daycare at six weeks..as I stated before I did it. And never felt once like someone else was raising my son, or nuturing him more than I did. He had a great daycare provider who went above and beyond to assist me in his infancy and toddler years.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
10:58 am

W8- Good to know..

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
11:01 am

The men that I have met and dated most recently range from the ages of 28 to 47. Every one of them has wanted to fast forward to the sex and press super slow motion on every other part of the relationship.

They are like Adam Sandler in Click.

anonymousella

May 27th, 2009
11:02 am

@melo i know two happily-married polyamorous couples, and one sort-of-happily-married one. open marriage works if both people are open and — most importantly HONEST. (whew lawdy, i’ve been talking one of my polyamorous friends down from the ledge since she and her dishonest a** also-polyamorous boyfriend of 2 years broke up. she and the hubs are still solid though.) you won’t have monogamous devotion, obviously. but you can have TREMENDOUS love, commitment, and shared understanding of where “home” is.

and that’s really the point: the folks involved have to work out what’s right for them at the time. sometimes circumstance — recession, career growth, factory shutdown — will dictate that the traditionalist husband be a stay-at-home parent while the wife gets to winning that bread.

i’m lucky in that my parents were atypical. my dad was the breadwinner, chief chef, did his own laundry, and shifted his schedule so that he could be home by 4:30 or 5pm every day so that I would only be home for a few hours. ProbableFutureHusband’s parents have had long-stretches of long-distance relationships for much of their 30-year marriage.

again: it’s about what works for both people invovled.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
11:03 am

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
11:09 am

good morning RAQI! yaaaaaawn. great topic.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:11 am

Sis Professor – Is that ride sweet? Sounds like it…ohhhmmmmm.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
11:12 am

M’ – Your 10:41 is really what it’s all about. Very few people want to stop and recognize those societal dynamics and how they profoundly affected relationships.

Also, we all talk about folks not wanting to play their position. Like Melo said, unless you have seen it being played successfully, you may not know your position.

Like I’ve stated before, we’re all trying to react naturally to situations that are really unnatural.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:14 am

But really I don’t think I could date a woman who had that as a requirement… in today’s society that’s still the best way as far as the kids are concerned but not many people can afford to live that way even wit two tree jobs.

EPO – That’s fair. For me, I don’t have to have kids. But if I do, why would I have kids that I couldn’t afford? That’s with anything. Our economy is in the gutter because folks continuously bite off more than they can chew. I don’t want to have kids I can’t afford, I don’t want to have a house, car, etc, that I can’t afford! And I’m willing to delay some milestones in life to set myself up better financially.

Not to say that tragedies can’t and don’t happen, but many of us are living beyond our means regardless of that.

My sister and her husband. They live in a trailer manufactured home, only have one car and her husband can’t move up in his company without this certification that he still doesn’t have. Yet, they just couldn’t WAIT to get pregnant. Now she’s complaining about the $115 a week it costs for childcare.

Really?!? What did you think will happen?

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
11:16 am

Ok so just because women are making more “Bacon” in the professional world, that should change their private world? Huh? What you do in the streets has nothing to do with what you do at home.. See that where it gets twisted. You still gotta be a woman and he still has to be a man no matter how much money you make, where you work, what you do or how many people work for you. You cant demasculate a Dude because you have some success outside the home.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
11:18 am

Ared- That’s with anything. Our economy is in the gutter because folks continuously bite off more than they can chew. I don’t want to have kids I can’t afford, I don’t want to have a house, car, etc, that I can’t afford! And I’m willing to delay some milestones in life to set myself up better financially.<– I agree one million percent! Those Jones’..

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
11:20 am

DK is about to stir up some ish..

-W8©(having coffee and grilling steak)

May 27th, 2009
11:21 am

@Infamous DK- Once again I agree with you 100%

Melo

May 27th, 2009
11:21 am

anonymousella

do u talk to both wives and husbands about their open relations or u talk to one side,the wives??? U sure its not the wives who are philandering??? just curious coz thats so foreign to me…..an open passport to phuck others.Other than the MIA soap opera i have heard off, i know no other,personally.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. LMAOFF

abc

May 27th, 2009
11:23 am

Roles are well defined in the Bible: 1 Peter, Ephesians, Corinthians, Proverbs. People twist up what the Bible says about it, but if those roles are followed, everything will work better.

A woman that makes more than a man needs a man that makes more money, with extremely rare exception. It reverses the roles too much to overcome. Chicks who make the most dough will not submit to a husband. ‘Course, that’s talking about marriage, not dating.

A woman that thinks she would rather work after childbirth rather than stay home until the child is in kindergarten (at least! and then some!) is kidding herself. Every woman will do that if she has the opportunity. Else, she’d not have had kids in the first place. Unfortunately, it’s not very practical in modern society.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
11:24 am

DK – Who said anything about demasculating a dude? If lil ole’ me can take away yo manhood, honey, you never had it to begin with, Punk!LOL!!!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:25 am

$115 for childcare? That’s very inexpensive these days.

“You cant demasculate a Dude because you have some success outside the home.”

Infamous uh-uh, Yea.

East Point's Own

May 27th, 2009
11:26 am

AmazonRed I do not mean bite off more than you can chew or have kids you can’t afford. But if you say a couple can’t afford a child unless one parent can stop working for a couple years then most couples in the US can’t afford a child…
Having a child while both parents work is the standard in the US right now. I agree that it is best if one parent can stay home for the first few years, its just not realistic these days. Especially with college educated folks who have a 20 year student loan to repay… I mean who wants to wait til they are 40 to have kids?

Sure in situations where the husband is older and more established the mother taking year off from working is more common, but for couples of a similar age both parents working is unfortunately the rule, and not the exception.

And you can’t realistically put off having kids forever if that is one of your milestones… I mean sure you can freeze eggs and all that but who really wants to do that? And then on top of that it costs tens of thousands of dollars for that too… so there goes all that money you saved up by trying to wait to have kids… LoL

Melo

May 27th, 2009
11:28 am

You cant demasculate a Dude because you have some success outside the home

u hit it bro!This is where most chics get it twisted.To be in a union,u both have to have respect for each other be4 u develop luv.U gotta respect the institution called marriage.That way,u value ur husband as ur protector,luver,buddy etc.And the husband does the same.
But if u respect money more than u respect him and ur marriage,yes,when u make more than him,respect goes outa the window.And the luv follows too.No wonder such women end up getting phuckeed by other dudes coz they diss the husbands simply coz of the bacon they make.
SAD

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:28 am

What you do in the streets has nothing to do with what you do at home..

*sounds buzzer* Why doesn’t it? That sounds like some playa mess too. :lol:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:29 am

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:29 am

But if you say a couple can’t afford a child unless one parent can stop working for a couple years then most couples in the US can’t afford a child…

Well duh! :lol:

Professor

May 27th, 2009
11:29 am

@ Cee- It is sweet and I will buy another one, but for some reason I am still debating on that new Camero…

@W8 I will wait on the invite…please let me know what information you need from me.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
11:30 am

Honestly.. When youre married its not your money anymore. Its the money to better your family’s well being, no matter who makes it. At least thats what it should be.. Because if a Dude is a bread winner she can spend his money all up, but if she is he is a no good nothing for spending anything outside the allowed specific predetermined prescibed neccesary amount she has designated for him. What I’m saying is if you wanna be modern be all they way modern and not half way.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:32 am

$115 for childcare? That’s very inexpensive these days.

Cemeeli – They live in the sticks. :lol: But I did say $115 a week though, I don’t know that the going rate here is in the city.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
11:32 am

Again, I want to know who on here demasculated somebody????LOL!!!!

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
11:33 am

@SEXYCOOL
in my world, it’s the guy who i’m most attracted to who are not ALL IN. it’ll take them a lil longer to catch up to me in the relationship dept. i’ve found out that skipping over them is best and leaving them the hell alone. time is precious and most important is feelings/emotions that get caught up in it all. it’s harder for me to let go.

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
11:35 am

@professor- att_rr@yahoo.com, it’s nothing to stringent at all..license, insurance..umm a corvette..it’s a professional environment so messy people tend to weed themselves out(you know what I mean)..

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
11:37 am

@Kimmie – I dont think he is directing his statements towards an individual

DB

May 27th, 2009
11:38 am

You get out of a relationship what you put into it. If you aren’t willing to put yourself into the relationship, you aren’t going to get a whole lot out of it. At that point, it’s superficial, and it’s not going to last. Which is fine, but many people make the mistake of confusing sex with a relationship.

I didn’t want a clone of myself when I married. I wanted someeone who could challenge me, someone who had a slightly different take on things, someone who didn’t have the same volatility of temperment, and most of all, someone whose sense of honor and personal integrity was unquestionable.

Our relationship, after almost 30 years, is somewhat traditional in some ways, and extraordinarily modern in others. For the last two years, he has been working on a project out of state. We weren’t able to join him, because the kids were finishing up high school and I didn’t want to move them so close to the end. So I see him every two weeks or so (sometimes more often, sometimes less, depending on scheduling and demands). It’s not ideal, but it’s only temporary, for another year. We talk every day, and we still make decisions together.

Basically, stop trying to label a relationship. It is what it is — and it is what you make it.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:38 am

Again, I want to know who on here demasculated somebody????LOL!!!!

:idea: Kimmie, I’m with you.

But since demasculate is not even a WORD, I figured they knew something I didn’t. :lol:

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
11:39 am

But on the flip side some weak males are intimidated by women who are more successful financially than they are( I said males, not men). If a woman chooses to do her thing and be successful in whatever she wants to pursue, I will be her biggest fan. “Go girl go”..but that azz is mine when you get home..

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
11:40 am

Kimme – Dollface I could never see me wearing a skirt.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
11:41 am

abc I had the option to stay home with my son. His father was working a nice job full-time in a section of the country with a very low standard of living. I didn’t have to go out and seek employment. We were not starving, bills were being paid..and there was money for recreation(granted not much to do in that area of the country) but the funds were there. I simply could not get with the idea of staying at home all day.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
11:42 am

When youre married its not your money anymore. Its the money to better your family’s well being, no matter who makes it

100% ur pay check,ur 401k,ur bonus..all that is in one pot.U cant make decisions to take a loan from ur 401k without consultation with ur mate,for example.Whatchu gonna use the money for??
U on point with that.I make more than my Queen and i get to deposit it in a common account.Thats what she wants and i dont mind that at all.The funny thing tho(and i find this with most women),she thinks she can make decisions with (her??) paycheck(money) without my input smetimes.I have to put her on check a lot of times.
Marriage to me is like being a Christian.
U have to work at it everyday to make it work coz there are temptations,hiccups,sidetracks etc all the time,constantly and incesantly.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:42 am

Basically, stop trying to label a relationship. It is what it is — and it is what you make it.

This is always a problem for me because I like labels. Whether it’s pea soup or chicken soup or a hybrid of the two, it’s something. Maybe chick-pea! :lol:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:42 am

Professor – I would like to ride out in either one. Camero or the Vette. Gotta a friend that’s a Kappa and he has a red one. One day he teased as he drops his son at the school he hollers out the window “Cee watch this”…and then proceed to rev-up the engine….yea, it’s red-hot to say the least!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
11:42 am

DK – You’re just not a man if you allow a woman or anyone else to use you as a doormat! We’ve talked until we should all be blue in the face on here about woman that kick azz at work but should not expect to do the same when they come home to their man. We GET THAT!! In fact, most of us on here got that a long time ago!

As the man, YOU should not need a woman to ALLOW you to be the head & CEO of your household! You step in and just DO IT! Wish Truth was on here today, he could break it down to you!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:43 am

@ ARed – Where do they live?

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
11:43 am

NY2GA – I cosign your 1055a. Because although I’m not ruling it out, I really don’t think it’s me.

anonymousella

May 27th, 2009
11:45 am

@melo in couple #1’s case, i know both parties. they swing. couple #2, i know the husband. couple #3, i know the wife. now i can’t say with certainty what goes on behind closed doors. they could be really good at faking the funk. but all of these marriages are several years old and don’t involve children. if they were going to leave, i think they would have by now.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
11:46 am

Ceemeeli – They live in Moultrie, GA.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
11:49 am

W8 – I know that, but even collectively I don’t see the women on here “demasculating” with thier words!!

DK – If you wanted to wear a skirt, do you! And guess what – you don’t have to ask Dollface’s permission to if you don’t want to! Wouldn’t want you to feel LESS than a man!!LOL!! Gosh I crack myself up sometimes!!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:49 am

Lioness – I see where it started.

W8aaayytoomuch – At this point i’ll eat some steak. ONe of the lunch crew memembers is stuck in a meeting. We’re going to leave her…

I’m hongry!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
11:51 am

okay south Georgia area…

Yea, that $115 is a stretch for that area maybe.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
11:54 am

This girl I go to school is a stay at home mom. When she got married, she got pregnant & quit her job because her husband asked her to stay home and raise their children. They have a 3 year old & a 2 year old. Her husband started to entertain his women friends often and she would find the credit card receipts and used to be mad that she didn’t know who the women were. She used to confront him and he would say that the women were just his friends but she wanted to know why he never took her out.
Long story short, she filed for divorce this year and since she hasn’t worked for 3 years she is now struggling to get back into the workforce. Her husband closed their joint account and took all of the money (around 14k) and gave her 4k. She now wishes that she had not taken him up on his offer..

Professor

May 27th, 2009
11:55 am

Cee..I used to have a TransAm and I still have a Firebird. For some reason I just love them.

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
11:55 am

If a woman chooses to do her thing and be successful in whatever she wants to pursue, I will be her biggest fan. “Go girl go”..but that azz is mine when you get home..

That’s what I’m talkin’ bout right there….I love it when a man(that knows what he’s doing) TAKES charge :) There is a difference b/c some men want the power and are clueless as to what to do with it. If a woman is with a man that truly knows how to handle his biz then the rest will fall into place…..it will.

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
11:56 am

@Ce- its tastes great

@kimmie- he is talking about every other day on here..lol

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
11:59 am

@Lioness- she had to have some sort of clue before hand..im sure there is more to the story

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
12:00 pm

@Kimmie, you don’t need Truth. You just broke it down. It really is that simple. You just step into being the CEO and head of the household. As Truth stated on more than one occasion, if you have the right tools, no problem being a man!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
12:00 pm

@ W8 @ 11.39 – You know that some gansta stuff, right?

This Day in History: 1969 Walt Disney World construction begins.

Professor – Camero, TransAm, Vettes???…Cee has her eyes on you…that’s cool typa ride-out.

abc

May 27th, 2009
12:01 pm

Hey, Cee!

W8, thing is, there’s no such thing as a chick that will submit to man if she makes more money than he does. He’ll always be the lesser party. Very, very, extremely rare exceptions, of course, there are exceptions to everything, but a woman doesn’t want a man that she can out-earn. Inability to earn a superior amount doesn’t denote leadership, and it doesn’t impart security. Security is what women want above all else.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
12:02 pm

but all of these marriages are several years old and don’t involve children

Thats really interesting anonymousella
But not having children is proly also an attraction/facilitator for doing such….anything goes! :lol: And they’re married for real,not just shakers?? :lol:
I find it weird that man can live like dogs like that…i mean dog biaacthes get phucked by other male dogs while the family male dog is around and all he(male dog) gets to do is lick the wet female biaatch’s semen plastered puddsy. :lol: :roll:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
12:02 pm

Weeeee’re off to see the Wizard…the Wonderful Wiz of Oz….

Ina minute folks

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
12:02 pm

@DB
umm, i like labels and need to know where i am in said relationship. if i’m your homie then stop asking for the booty.

see where things can get confusing?

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
12:03 pm

Ya’ll know I dont have problems with women. Ya’ll know I’m in the its 20 to 1 in Atlanta mindset. Ya’ll must need The Filthy Villanous DK to remind ya’ll and start saying the uncut truth most of ya’ll cant handle. I’m being polite.

Unlike alot of these dudes I aint afraid of you leaving me or me leaving you.. Its the nature of the beast. I understand living with regrets and that life goes on. I’m also a stand up Dude first and foremost so a woman could never demasculate me.. Or turn me into a B!tch, put me in a skirt or henpeck me for those who dont understand my slanguage..

Melo

May 27th, 2009
12:03 pm

Ceemeli, u havnt asked me what i drive!

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
12:06 pm

@abc- If a man is a real man and a woman knows who she is….who makes the most is not an issue(pride will get ya everytime)

@Ce/Sassy- That’s just how we roll in my family..lol

Sybil

May 27th, 2009
12:08 pm

@-W8’s 1139a – I think I just fell in love a little bit.

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
12:09 pm

Beautiful – I’m pretty certain DB was talking about the LABELING of a relationship TYPE not the titles within a relationship.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
12:10 pm

NY2GA- Sometimes it is the woman.. Not saying that this is the case with SexyCool.. I knew this girl that couldn’t get or keep a man for nothing.. She was sweet,cute etc.. I introduced her to a couple of my guy friends and each of them said to me that she was a freak. I was like HUH? How do you figure that? Each of them said that it was just her.. They knew.. Each of them was right. She is a freak.. LOL!
Sometimes it has something to do with the individual that makes them attract the same type of person over & over again..

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
12:12 pm

I love it when a man(that knows what he’s doing) TAKES charge There is a difference b/c some men want the power and are clueless as to what to do with it. If a woman is with a man that truly knows how to handle his biz then the rest will fall into place…it will.

Sassy – That’s what I’m trying to say to these “Please don’t emasculate me” whiners!

W8 – You read like you can identify – we ladies say – don’t whine, just BE ABOUT IT!!

Leggs- Thanks, you got what I’m trying to tell DK & his little amen corner!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:12 pm

she is now struggling to get back into the workforce.

Lioness – Isn’t everyone right now?

My parents had 3 kids in 5 years and my dad asked her to stay at home. She didn’t like it, but she did it. She didn’t turn a blind eye to her marraige tho and she always had a voice. My dad would have gotten hit with a frying pan doing all that! :lol:

abc

May 27th, 2009
12:19 pm

W8, of course, what I’m saying is that most women are not capable of submitting to a man that doesn’t earn substantially more than she does. People’s identities are wrapped up in their jobs, professions and earning power way too much to disregard. If you’re a flunky at work and she isn’t, it’s almost guaranteed you’ll be a flunky at home too, and she won’t be. It’s just the way chicks are — they want a man that can provide them security (especially financially), and it you can’t do that, you’re not going to be a man. You’ll be some chick’s beeyotch.

Is that prideful of me to say so? I don’t think so, but others may. That’s okay. I’m no chick’s beeyotch, that’s for sure. I know plenty of men who are, and I don’t envy them for their wife’s earning power, nor willfulness, nor the crap they continuously catch from them.

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
12:20 pm

she is now struggling to get back into the workforce.

Lioness – Isn’t everyone right now?

Ared- Nope

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
12:21 pm

**LABELING of a relationship TYPE not the titles within a relationship.**

example please! aren’t they one in the same?

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
12:21 pm

Abc- I agree with you..

Professor

May 27th, 2009
12:22 pm

@ARed, I just saw Moultrie as I was catching up, girl I know about Moultrie and Doerun, GA…

@ Cee thanks

Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

May 27th, 2009
12:23 pm

**LABELING of a relationship TYPE not the titles within a relationship.**

example please! aren’t they one in the same?

Angie- Re-read the comment and you SHOULD get it.. There is a difference

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
12:24 pm

RELATIONSHIP TYPE – platonic, romantic, open, traditional, modern, etc.

RELATIONSHIP TITLE – girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, booty call partner, FWB, etc.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
12:24 pm

Inability to earn a superior amount doesn’t denote leadership, and it doesn’t impart security

Inability,yes?? coz if u are unable that means smething is lacking in skill set etc.
But in our dynamic bizzness world,earning power is not static,it is changing,yr in and yr out.
Its quite possible that one year,the woman may be earning less but earn more in another year depending on whats going on in her own career.
That alone shldnt be what defines a marriage,in the long run or who is head etc.
abc,u wldnt know that coz ur wife is a stay at home wife,by ur ruling,PERIOD!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:26 pm

That wasn’t a literal question, Lioness.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
12:26 pm

I’m sorry ladies if I dont buy into your modern woman nonsense.. I think a Man is a Man and a Woman is a Woman. Period. I also feel a secure woman doesnt have to parade around and say she is a modern succesful woman.. She’s just a woman. I guess thats where I get it confused because I dont care what you do or what you make, youre just a woman plain and simple. Hopefully you have a beautiful mind and we can chit chat, have a good time and just be.

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
12:26 pm

Lioness- Going to the Pool

May 27th, 2009
12:28 pm

DK- I like that :)

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
12:29 pm

DK – are you just posting stuff for the lurkers to see or are your comments related to the comments the ladies are making today?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:30 pm

I guess thats where I get it confused because I dont care what you do or what you make, youre just a woman plain and simple.

DK – That’s not really what the issue is though. Yes a man is a man and a woman is a woman, but what about gender roles. If you’re not into modern women, then are you traditional? If so, are you willing to bring in the bacon while the wife takes care of the household? If not, if she’s working just as hard as you in the office, are you pulling your weight at home too?

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
12:30 pm

DK – And a secure man does not have to parade around or blog around saying he’s a MAN either, per your 12:03. Practice what you preach!!LOL!!

Ya seem sorta bitter, bro, but hey, it’s all good!!

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
12:31 pm

@abc —>”…thing is, there’s no such thing as a chick that will submit to man if she makes more money than he does. He’ll always be the lesser party.” You are wrong!!! A real woman will recognize the “man” in her man no matter how much more money she makes than him. I know a few households where the woman makes more, and husbands are every bit the head of their households.

abc

May 27th, 2009
12:31 pm

No Melo, mine stays at home because she can, and she wants to. She has a lot else to occupy her time and energy, and no need for earning money.

Now, that could change, and if it does, she’ll certainly step up and do whatever is required, because that’s the kind of woman she is. It would serve to change some dynamics between us, not in a positive way. I hope it doesn’t happen.

-W8©(man meal for lunch..just steak..nothing else)

May 27th, 2009
12:32 pm

@abc- I guess we will just have to agree to disagree

@SexyCool- on titles..lol..I remember I was with a woman with whom I just had relations with, as this was or bi- weekly thing..nothing more nothing less…her phone rang and she replies to the caller”Oh, I am just hanging with my friend” after she hung up I busted out laughing she asked why. I told her I just had a moment of clarity..lol..all the times I have called females and they said “Just hangin with my friend”..LMAO

Kym

May 27th, 2009
12:35 pm

Where is Truth when you need him?

Lioness- Going to the Pool & Setting my out of office reply

May 27th, 2009
12:36 pm

Have a wonderful day all!

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
12:36 pm

Hey abc, I may be wrong, but I thought you’ve posted a few times that your wife will NOT work. So is she staying at home because she wants to or is it because you feel your wife shouldn’t work since you can provide for everything. Just curious!

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
12:39 pm

It would serve to change some dynamics between us, not in a positive way. I hope it doesn’t happen.

That is a mouthful, abc. Why do you think the changes could not be positive ones?

NY2GA, Inc.

May 27th, 2009
12:39 pm

@Lioness- Still on East Coast Time

I don’t disagree with you. But, in my response I was talking to SEXYCOOL directly.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
12:41 pm

Kimme – Youre missing the point. I’m not attacking you or anyone I’m just speaking my mind. My Mind. Its not going to always coincide with what you wanna hear. I was very bitter when I got divorced because I thought the system screwed dudes but that another story. I’m at a point in my life where I know what I like, want and theres no need to be ashamed about it.

Amazon Red – Im for what works for you. I personally think marriage is over rated. However I dont wanna grow old alone. I just want to be the Uncle that had that Girlfriend for ever. Like Fred G. Sanford and Donna or Oprah and Stedman.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:43 pm

DK – What works for though? You haven’t answered the question. If you’re gonna get married (cuz you don’t want to die alone, great reason by the way :???: ). What do you expect out of your wife? Especially if you’re not into “modern” women?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:44 pm

My apologies for the length but here is a perspective from a stay at home wife. Doesn’t sound like the worst life to have…IMO

I was having a conversation with someone recently who needed to get my information in the file in the event they needed to call me about something. Cool. No problem.

The question got around to where do I work and I answered…I don’t work. Then she asked how many kids did I have in my home and I answered…three, my husband and two doggies.

I laughed.

She didn’t.

Oh well…whatever.

I remember having the conversation with a good friend once about why I have a housekeeper if I’m home. Basically he was like…shouldn’t you have time to clean? I explained to him the danger of planning MY time…for ME.

Apparently being a stay at home mother isn’t the same as being a stay at home wife and yes, I get that. But I still don’t care cuz it works for us.

My husband wants me to be happy and my MAIN job is to make sure HE’S happy. That’s my job.

He just walked out the door with a new suit on. Dare I say he looks FABULOUS. His shoes were tight as were his shirt and tie. Cuff links EXACTLY as they should be. I did that. Last night he had a proposal to review. He was able to close the door to the office and do just that and I kept all extraneous anythings out of his way. When it was dinner time he ate and we talked.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
12:45 pm

You are wrong!!!-Leggs,thanx,u see it the way i do!

It would serve to change some dynamics between us, not in a positive way

not in a positive way???..i kinda knew that.Thats lame coz it means u dont wanna be be challenged in a good way and u proly view marriage only in material/money/jesus-bible era days/ways.It sounds to me then that ur wife stays home not because she wants to but becoz u have manipulated her that way.I bet u have a phsychological edge on her and shes smitten.
So there is only one lyfestyle ur wife can lead and be with u?? Housewife??
abc,u not serious!! :lol: :roll:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:46 pm

Sorry, the post was broken up into two parts but melo’s comment crashed the party. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:47 pm

Part two:

Hubby has made a few moves in his career since we’ve been together that have been pretty impressive. I’ve watched him turn down VERY good offers without even blinking twice after we’ve discussed it and found it wouldn’t fit for his career path. Since we have been together he has more than DOUBLED his salary. Yall don’t recognize how big that is. Lemme put it this way.

We’ve been together now for 7 years. Let’s say he was only making 50K when we met. Let’s say he’d received a 10% salary increase per year. (Now I know that’s waaaay high this day and age because the average is REALLY only about 3.5%…lemme repeat…THE AVERAGE IS ONLY 3.5%…but I really want to drive home the difference.)

Year 1 – 50,000
Year 2 – 55,000
Year 3 – 65,500
Year 4 – 72,050
Year 5 – 79,255
Year 6 – 87,180
Year 7 – 95,898

So…that’s a modest increase right? Right. How does that comparison work against reality? It’s blown out of the water. No contest. None. At all. He has made up for the loss of my salary in less than 4 years.

(con’t)

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
12:51 pm

NY2GA – The other thing that I keep telling myself is that I have not met the right person at the right time.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:53 pm

Last part:

So…a stay at home wife I am right now. Sure…I’m probably considered lazy because of my housekeeper. Sure…I’m probably bad, bad, bad. All things terrible via the feminist regime.

But my husband likes it and he loves his life.

Do I love my life?

What do YOU think? LOL!

Don’t knock being a stay at home partner. Bored I NEVER am. And I hope I’ve proven that a person with the type of support at home that my husband has can and WILL do BIG, BIG things. Hell…before you know it…the money will catch up without a hiccup if done RIGHT.

Now…let me get my lazy butt up and start my morning.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
12:55 pm

Amazon – I dont wanna get married. My perfect situation would be to have a committed relationship with a woman that has her home and I have mine. We get together spend time, travel and love each other without marriage. Thats my answer. Its not that uncommon these days you know..

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
12:57 pm

A man can take over the world with the right woman on his team

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
12:58 pm

DK – No, I totally get your point. I never said you attacked anybody on this blog! You stated how you feel, I commented on it, end of story. I’m sorry if MY opinion of you speaking YOUR MIND is not to your liking. Actually, no I’m not sorry!LOL!!

It’s just that the times that you come on here you never have anything positive to say about women! In fact, it’s a few like you that come on here and proceed to tell us how we think as women. All based on your own bitter experience. Ish happens in life, move on. We all don’t operate like those you’ve come in contact with.

I wish you LOVE, PEACE and SOUL!!!!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
12:59 pm

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:00 pm

@Kimmie- When I want to hear your opinion I will give it to you!!….lol..im just joking..lmao

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:01 pm

Ugh…the part after part two got deleted. Guess it was too long. So here is part 3 hopefully followed by part 4! :lol:

Hubby and I both believe it’s because when he gets home…he can lay it all down. He’s spoiled dang rotten and I like it that way. He doesn’t have to do a DANG.THING. that he doesn’t WANT to do. He reads, watches MSNBC, watches a game, a movie, talk to me…any and everything he wants to do. I pay CLOSE attention to him. If he looks tired we go to bed earlier. If he looks like he’s getting sick…EVERYTHING SHUTS DOWN AT the house until he’s 100%.

He gets a hot, healthy breakfast every morning, he gets a delicious and nutritious lunch to take with him if he doesn’t have a lunch meeting on his schedule for that day. When he comes home…yall know how I do. It’s all about him. Why? Cuz he deserves it. He’s been at work all day and he’s the kinda guy that works HARD. His work ethic is PHENOMENAL!

Mo (aka Moeisha- waiting on the weekend already)

May 27th, 2009
1:04 pm

Hello all! I wont try to catch up, I’ll just pick up right here.

I couldnt dream of being a stay-at-home mom unless I had a tribe of kids. I stayed out 3months w Lil Mo and that was enough for me! I give kudos to SAH moms though, its just not something I am for.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:04 pm

Where’s Demi?

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
1:05 pm

@DK, let me introduce myself to you. My name is S…….. better known as Leggs. I see we want exactly the same thing in a relationship. Now, let’s see what we can offer each other. :wink:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:05 pm

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
1:06 pm

That’s what I’m trying to say to these “Please don’t emasculate me” whiners!

Kimmie Okaay?…that’s reminiscent of that “let a man be a man” ish that flooded the blog last week…how do you let a man be a man….either he is or he ain’t…plain and simple.

TRUTH WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:07 pm

Ok I’m officially lost now.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
1:08 pm

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:09 pm

So I really really really like Asian Sesame Ginger Salad Dressing

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:10 pm

@Leggs- I dont know why..I think i have been demasculated and it feels weird..lol

Melo

May 27th, 2009
1:10 pm

Amazon,whos that lady,ur friend,acquaintance???

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
1:10 pm

RAQI….for the first year…I will babysit for free! I love babies. Its the toddlers and lil’ kids that drive me nuts! :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:15 pm

Part 4??? :lol:

And Imma take partial credit for this because I remove all stressors from his life when he walks through that door.

See…Hubby has the luxury of REALLY being fresh every single day. He’s happy and healthy and his mind isn’t muddled with crazy crap that he can’t focus on in conjunction with focusing on work. He’s able to make clear and concise decisions and put steps in place for the big picture.

Hey…half that salary should be on a check with my name on it.

Our life works for us. Will it always be this way? Probably not. Hopefully not. Hopefully I’ll be making movies one day but I will still make sure he is supported the way he DESERVES to be supported. As he states jokingly…you’re a GREAT personal assistant honey! LOL! NO ISH P.UNK!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
1:17 pm

Kimmie – Have you read the majority of comments made about Dudes? I would love to have a balanced comversation about men and women but it will never happen because people wont even be honest on a blog.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:18 pm

melo – just a blog I read from time to time.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
1:20 pm

@W-8, I see you got jokes, son!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
1:21 pm

Hey Leggs I’m DK

NY2GA, Inc

May 27th, 2009
1:21 pm

@SEXYCOOL

I here ya. I just have to trust the master plan, whatever that is for me. In the meantime, I gotta keep living my life in full. The right person at the right time will come though it is difficult to not get jaded sometimes. I just vented on here last week!

You know, Gerald Levert had a song that said “I’m looking for a real love. An everlasting love. So, I’m sending out an application across the nation. Hurry up and sign-up right here.” He might have been onto something. Maybe we need to come up with a Love Application. LOL!

:)

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:24 pm

DK – What do you think folks aren’t being honest about. Why are folks so quick to say this about people on an anonymous blog?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:26 pm

Part 5

Me? I’m well rested. I’m well read. I’m not a ra.ging witch with a b cuz I’ve had to deal with azzes all day at the office and come home still mad with the attitude…hell…I work too sh.it. WhatCHU gonna fix for dinner??????? Why in the hell you always looking at me to cook?

Humph.

So…a stay at home wife I am right now. Sure…I’m probably considered lazy because of my housekeeper. Sure…I’m probably bad, bad, bad. All things terrible via the feminist regime.

But my husband likes it and he loves his life.

Do I love my life?

What do YOU think? LOL!

Don’t knock being a stay at home partner. Bored I NEVER am. And I hope I’ve proven that a person with the type of support at home that my husband has can and WILL do BIG, BIG things. Hell…before you know it…the money will catch up without a hiccup if done RIGHT.

Now…let me get my lazy butt up and start my morning.

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
1:26 pm

like KYM i had the option to stay at home/was begged to stay at home to assist with managing/keeping his cheating under control. lol. well, that’s how i looked at it. why would a man ask you to stay at home after he was caught being bad?

i couldn’t do it. we weren’t married and my career is something that he couldn’t take away after our union fell apart.

have a good day y’all!

Kym

May 27th, 2009
1:27 pm

Maybe that should be a topic one day..”Drop your mask at the blog door, today only reveal yourself.”

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:30 pm

i had the option to stay at home/was begged to stay at home to assist with managing/keeping his cheating under control. lol

:???:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
1:30 pm

Ceemeli, u havnt asked me what i drive!

Melo – What do you drive?

they want a man that can provide them security (especially financially), and it you can’t do that, you’re not going to be a man. You’ll be some chick’s beeyotch.

abc – NAW! you’ve said the “some chick’s “beeyotch”?…as if!! I go out for lunch and come back and Lawddy…lawdy.

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
1:30 pm

ARed – girl, you shoulda just posted the link…

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
1:32 pm

Ok, that’s a start. Nice to meet you. If interested, please email me so we can discuss things off this nosey arse blog. :lol: I think you already have my addy!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
1:32 pm

I think regular commentors do post under bogus names in this blog to tell their stories.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:33 pm

SexyCool – Didn’t have one. That post was emailed to me. Anywhoo, I’m done now. :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
1:33 pm

Kimme/Amazon – The only person I do listen to on here when it comes to relationships is Raqi because at least she is objective. She has been thru the rain to find her sunshine so she has learnt some thangs. She doesnt profess to be perfect, nor is her man.

I dont come on here to be negative towrds women because I love ya’ll with a passion. I love the way ya’ll smell, feel, walk, the sweet whispers that comes with a soft touch and that coy look across the room that says come get me.. I just want ya’ll to hear us to because most of the time we dont talk we just let ya’ll assume. Honestly outside the blog I would never let a woman know this much of me because it shows I have chinks in my armor and I cant have that of course.

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
1:34 pm

NY2GA – The Love Application – let’s get it together, copyright it and sell it as the next big self help relationship guide.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:36 pm

She doesnt profess to be perfect, nor is her man.

DK – If you think everyone else is fronting but her, that’s really on you. No one here professes to be perfect and some of us have simply avoided certain pitfalls in life. No need to front like we haven’t.

I guess the typical parting comment is “do you.” *shrugs*

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
1:37 pm

**I think regular commentors do post under bogus names in this blog to tell their stories**

please tell me that you didn’t just realize this!

ok, gone for real now. lol.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:37 pm

@Kym/Ce- The contradictions here a very comical..and you know what I mean

Melo

May 27th, 2009
1:38 pm

Melo – What do you drive?

During the week or on weekends Cee??
Week days,its my 16 wheeler tractor trailer(popopoooh,peepeeeh!).
On weekends,its my customized ,top drop Chinese model CadiRaqqi. :lol: :grin:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
1:38 pm

Infamous – So your saying no other blogger is being real mostly?

Just askin’ i’m not being cute.I feel you ’bout Mrs. Raqi.

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
1:38 pm

STACEYE GO SIDINE! You will not cut me out of the $112 I planned to make babysitting her the first 18 years. RAQI & I have a virtual verbal agreement. It’s that new shii…

Did I just witness the return of SEXXYLeggs? Uhohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Lemme know so I can go Runtelldat!

Lioness- Going to the Pool & Setting my out of office reply

May 27th, 2009
1:39 pm

Ared- Angie is a NUT!! Goodness gracious!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
1:39 pm

Amazon – Because some people actually use the site, have an agaenda and will say whatever they need to to feel popular or to preserve blog friendships. Its almost like high school sometimes.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
1:42 pm

Is someone up in this piece calling me a liar?

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:44 pm

Ok, I think I am to new for this convo…

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:44 pm

Amazon – Because some people actually use the site, have an agaenda and will say whatever they need to to feel popular or to preserve blog friendships. Its almost like high school sometimes.

That’s life tho. I wouldn’t waste my time complaining about something that isn’t going to change. There are plenty of genuine folks on here. Focus on that. *shrugs*

I would never change my screen name just to post on here. It’s really not that serious. If I don’t feel comfortable discussing something, I simply don’t.

But I’m just simple like that anyway. :lol:

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
1:45 pm

Went to get my car inspected at lunch – got the Subway $3.99 special, now that’s a deal!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:46 pm

@Kym- I dont think anyone called you a liar

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
1:46 pm

I don’t think it’s about folks not being honest. It would just be nice to have a discussion without all the name-calling and bitterness.

Personally, I think a lot of the women on here seem to walk on eggshells trying not to hurt the men’s wittle feelings. If that’s holding back honesty, then I agree. If some could let it rip in here without monitoring, some of yall could not handle it. Dang, you can’t handle the little stuff on here now. In my opinion.

W8 – Dawg, you know I luvs you! You are one of the few that handle yours and make no apologies. You had some hard knocks, you don’t come in here bashing your daughter’s mama and you dealt with things. You don’t come in dogging all women & bitter. That does not make for a refreshing, informative discussion. For that you have my respect.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
1:47 pm

the only person I do listen to on here when it comes to relationships is Raqi

Shes the only regular, female blogger on here thats married so that makes sense DK.
I think the other(some) single ladies get some notes from her too.And shes a traditionalist,i think.

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 27th, 2009
1:47 pm

Good evening everyone.

Dk, dam bruh, your posts are on point. I co-sign all of em even though I skipped a few pages.

On topic: Just like a chick has a vision of what a man should be I have a vision of what a woman should be. Most would consider that to be a traditional role. I expect a woman to make sure I’m fed and taken care of in ways that women have in my life. Thats what I’m confortable with and what I’ll have.

I’d never have a chick stop working because then I’d have to pay alimony as well as child support if things dont work out, a high likelyhood in these times. I dont want tot pay for azz i cant get and at that point a woman is just another bill. Give it all you have but always check your exit strategy too. I know alot of cats dropping loot to cover some old mates living expenses while she’s out giving azz away like its 1999.

Kuwait Chronicles: I hate fugging muslims. What a group of useless puddies.

If any of you all are part time travel agents contact Lebron James. His azz is about to start a long and depressing summer break. LOL

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:49 pm

I’d never have a chick stop working because then I’d have to pay alimony as well as child support if things dont work out

:lol: :roll: :lol:

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
1:49 pm

Melo

May 27th, 2009
1:49 pm

I think a lot of the women on here seem to walk on eggshells trying not to hurt the men’s wittle feelings

Nah,i doubt it Kimmie! Actually,its the other way round.
Lets start some ish then,if u diasgree. :lol:
Oh maybe its too late for that.
Tmrow at 8.30 am GO………. :arrow: !!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
1:50 pm

@ W8 – That would not be YOU the new person. You’ve been grandfathered in…stop playin’.

Noooow he wanna run.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:50 pm

Is someone up in this piece calling me a liar?

:lol: I know, right? :lol:

abc

May 27th, 2009
1:50 pm

No, she stays at home because she wants to and can. She volunteers at a few places. If she wants a job she can take one; if not, then fine.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
1:51 pm

@Truth Youuuu!!!! I ought go whoop upside your apple head!! You just check your email you!

DJ Sniper

May 27th, 2009
1:53 pm

Truth, I can’t say I blame you for not wanting the stay at home wife. I’ve known a couple of dudes who had to pay thru the nose when they got divorced from their SAH wives. Not a pretty sight at all.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
1:54 pm

I hate fugging muslims. What a group of useless puddies

thanx for that co-sign on BK but Truth plz,spare us the muslimn talk.We dont want a fatwa on here.Lets keep the Ayatollahs off this bish.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:55 pm

@Kimmie- Thanks Dawg, I’ve found it best in life just to be me.

@Ce- Whaattt? Im trying to be humble and stuff…its not working huh..lol..

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
1:55 pm

I think a lot of the women on here seem to walk on eggshells trying not to hurt the men’s wittle feelings<– LOL!

I actually think it goes both ways.. Why walk on eggshells for people you don’t know??

Keeping it 100 is good for your health!

SexyLeggs

May 27th, 2009
1:57 pm

:lol: @.02. Well, when you put it like that, Yes. That was funny!

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
1:57 pm

Melo- You are HILARIOUS!

Cee- Hey you Sweetness :)

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
1:57 pm

..till death do us part..oh yeah if the another divorce happens…someone is dying..smart money says it wont be me…..”Here baby sign this insurance policy”

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

have an agaenda and will say whatever they need to to feel popular or to preserve blog friendships. Its almost like high school sometimes.

Okay i see your point. But just because some have become blog friends doesn’t mean they are not being real. I’m not arguing the high school mentality up in here AT ALL. But i think you’ve taken the “being real” and rolled it up into “may friends are watching so i need potray the image” for friends sake and confused the two.

again i’m not trippin’ about what you said

Dan

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

I will cosign DK last statement.

But uh, walking on eggshells, I would hope that wasn’t the case.

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

Good Afternoon…you all,

These are some really interesting comments! Love em! So is it to be understood….that there are quite a few of “us womenfolk” who’d rather work hard for our titles at work for “the man”, before even considering (if provided the opportunity) of working hard (WITH/FOR) our “husbands” ? LOL!!! But
N/R …just a brain tickler I’m pondering that one myself…although some know my take on it. Okay…just being open minded…I’d say I’m flexible to consider it, as long as I can without a doubt, hands down, TRUST him as a man as well as his intentions and/or expectations. To be honest, it all boils down to that for me. If he’s got that from me, he got the keys to the kingdom. Now obviously we’re not talking about a dictatorship here, that’s a given. All I’m saying, is I would be less likely to question him and his motives, requests, expectations and so on….as long as there is a solid trust between us. Trust and respect goes hand in hand for me….as well as actions. Show and prove.

DK- really liked that 10:22…. and gon’ head Leggs…I can hear you all the way over hear with that NY accent…”it’s me n’ you, baby…me n’ you!…LOL But really…it’s about time we witness someone …or two people actually getting together on here. It’s refreshing…heyal, in some cases, you just can’t hold it against someone based on the “place” (in this case, ‘the forum”) of where the two of you met.

Bonafide Brutha who told em’ to W8 – Now what did I tell you about being on point?! Mannn, let me stop! Keep it comin’ man! …and you’re killin’ me with that 11:39! LOL

Tatas – Hey chica!…loved your food analogies earlier!…and hey??? Did DK just make a donation payable to WAKW?! Man, it’s hard out here! and did he just say Whole Azz = No Azz….translation: half azzes need not apply LOL …and you’re killing me with the run tell dat! Lmao

Raqi, this is really good topic, mami!…but really, Wise didn’t have to even mention, that you had your hand in this…I already spotted your banner across wall…lol

Cee – Did you just “Deebo” W8’s chucks from off his feet??? AND tell em’…”he ain’t Nu-Nu”…no more! lol

SexyLeggs

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

That post was meant for you mytwotatas!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

Lawd, divorce did a real number on some of y’all…

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
1:59 pm

Lioness – Wish I could go to the pool! Why walk on eggshells for people you don’t know?? —> Because I’m at work & also don’t want to be banned by the ajc, LOL!! But I agree!!

Naw Melo, you really couldn’t handle what I’d say to your butt if unleashed!! But it’s all good, don’t want to get in a cussin match with my buddy The Melo!!!

English Girl

May 27th, 2009
2:03 pm

On Topic…I think a marriage can be traditional but in the context of a modern world. I am out working just as hard as my husband, so he cannot expect me to pay the same amount of attention to housework, cooking, cleaning and laundry that a stay at home wife would provide. Plus he knows staying at home would drive me crazy, I like to be out working.

However he is the head of our household, I do cook for him at least three to four days a week. I do the laundry, clean the house and understand that I must uphold my wifey duities in the bedroom…lol

In return because he knows I do work hard, he helps with the housework, takes care of the yard, takes out trash and makes sure I have a a rest day or two per week because I am cooking cleaning ect…as well as working a 40-45 hour work week.

As for an ‘open’ marraige I don’t know about that, but if it works for some…so be it. I’ve only been married 7 years don ‘t know what we may do 25 years from now. Most open marriages I’ve witnessed were ’swinging’ couple who had been married 15 plus years and were looking for something to ’spice up’ their relationship.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
2:04 pm

TRUTH…dayyum son…tell us how you really feel. What is going on over there? I get it…the ban on alcohol is finally getting to you. :lol:

MY2TATAS…you can have her back when she turns one…Raqi won’t mind! She will have plenty of pictures of the princess dressed in various outfits! Hey I usually play dress up and take my own pictures. So when I got a neice…I did the same to her! There are pictures of my straight up posing with my Auntie’s beret and big shades on and I was only 6 months. She said I have always loved the camera and would perk up every time I saw one. I went into auto-pose. I still do it….even if I am in the back ground of somebody else’s picture. Hey I do not want to be the goofball in the back. :lol:

SexyLeggs

May 27th, 2009
2:05 pm

“If she wants a job she can take one; if not, then fine.” Dear abc, do you really believe that. You just stated it would change the dynamics of the marriage in an unpleasant manner. So, in essence you’re not fine with her if she desires to take on a job. That’s talking out of both sides of your neck, don’tcha think???? Oh, wait, I re-read it and you’re fine with the “if not”. (LOL). Just messing with you!

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
2:06 pm

Ared- Ya think? Goodness gracious! That is why I don’t play with marriage because I MOST DEFINITELY feel the way W8 feels.. It will be on & popping NY style :)

Kimmie- lol ;)

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:06 pm

@Jamoca- How ya doing :)

@ARed- I aint gonna like i got divorced in ‘02 and it was a doozy..so for my next one I will have a pre-nup that states I have the right to make her disappear without fear of prosecution if we decide to split”..nothing wrong with the right? LOL I’m kidding I wouldnt get married again thinking it may not work..if I have those thoughts I need to keep it moving until I dont

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
2:07 pm

If any of you all are part time travel agents contact Lebron James. His azz is about to start a long and depressing summer break.

Yeah he probably last night once he was all alone he probably cried a little……on the other hand Dwight Howard and those bowling ball shoulders are the sheeiiiit!!

Nah,i doubt it Kimmie! Actually,its the other way round.
Lets start some ish then,if u diasgree.

Melo do you REALLY wanna do that?…….

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:09 pm

Naw Melo, you really couldn’t handle what I’d say to your butt if unleashed!!

nah,its the other way round.U too young and inexperienced at this!
I only hurt at what i know to be true about me currently.And trust me,ive lived most experiences,good and bad.More T shirts here than Rand-T and u combined.
Have u had one real bad bust up with ur karate kid yet Kimmie and then phucked him real hard and nice, soon after???
When u say yes,then maybe u and i can go head to head.

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
2:09 pm

I’m so not a fan of the spam filter who ate my 1st afternoon post.

If it doesn’t reappear, I was officially buying what the VILlAINOUS one was selling. As long as hee takes coupons…

W8 You are not vision challenged hahaaaaaa Lollipop Lane residents are just Krazzy And reserve the right to be whateva for whoeva, wheneva the mood strikes.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:12 pm

so for my next one I will have a pre-nup that states I have the right to make her disappear without fear of prosecution if we decide to split”..nothing wrong with the right? LOL

W8 – :lol:

You know, I used to think that dating a divorced man at 38 was better than dating a never married man at 38 (I tend to date guys in their late 30s). I thought the divorcees had a more realistic view on marriage after getting divorced.

But now…I’m thinking I’ll stick with the never marries. I love myself to much to end up chopped up in a freezer somewhere! :lol:

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:13 pm

Melo do you REALLY wanna do that?…….

Sassy,u know me i can take ish.How many mandingos have u seen in this bish,u think its by coincidence?? My tough zulu leather skin is genuine leather,not the flea market fake ish. :lol:

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
2:14 pm

When I say walk on eggshells, I’m saying I really don’t see the manbashing as much as I see the womanbashing, especially AA womenbashing.

Everyday we “chicks” are reminded constantly of what we’re “doing wrong” or what we need to take notes on. Most of us come on sharing our experiences with men, not bashing all the time. I remember when I first came on, I shared some trials I’ve had with different dudes. I’ve also admitted my part in the problems, but still offered my experience. The guys on here would jump all over me, taking up for the dude. There were times I would have given yall his number, but I thought yall didn’t roll that way!LOL!! If there was no real way you could take up for dude, then you’d fall back on the “choose better” thang. Well guess what – I did. And some of you guys need to chose better too! Maybe you wouldn’t be so bitter. But I am digressing.

Just like a woman can’t tell a man how to be a man, a man can’t tell a woman how to be a woman.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
2:14 pm

You know people speak of friendships/cliques and such, but have you ever realized its your girlfriends that are keeping you single. You know your Girl Power group will keep you single and with a house full of cats at 60. As soon as you stop listening to other broads and listen to your inner voice your relationships will begin to blossom..

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:15 pm

Jamoca,i cosign everything u have to say,including the rest of this week’s posts.I prepaid 4 them! :Lol:

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:17 pm

@My.02(my buddy my pal my ace)- I thought it was just me

@Ared- thats just a little bit of motivation to make it work..lol

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:18 pm

You know people speak of friendships/cliques and such, but have you ever realized its your girlfriends that are keeping you single. You know your Girl Power group will keep you single and with a house full of cats at 60. As soon as you stop listening to other broads and listen to your inner voice your relationships will begin to blossom..

Well, then I certainly wouldn’t blame someone’s girlfriends if a woman can’t listen to anyone but her friends. It’s not her girlfriends fault she’s easily influenced, it’s hers.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
2:18 pm

.U too young and inexperienced at this!

That’s why I love you Melo!!

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
2:19 pm

DK- WOW.. Some women have bitter friends.. Luckily, I have good friends that are all about happiness :)

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
2:19 pm

Dang, DK, I haven’t even met you yet, and I already disagree with you. I don’t listen to girlfriends cuz I don’t share my business with any. Haven’t in the past 5 years because I know how some people like to sabatoge things on the DL….some girl power groups are not the reason for being single. Not many sit around like Whitney, Angela Bassett, etc did in Waiting to Exhale bashing men and getting drunk!

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 27th, 2009
2:20 pm

Relationships are fine and beautiful but once you bring the law and the church into it you alter the original puprose of the union. Like DK said, marriage is useless. Even alot of chicks that have spent their whole lives dreaming of marriage do it then swear thats the last time.

All of my past, current or future wives are forbidden from reading the above post.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:20 pm

@Ared- thats just a little bit of motivation to make it work..lol

W8 – I will spare you my thoughts on this because it always starts a showdown with folks who are divorced.

But I will say, the motivation shouldn’t lie there in threats. ;)

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
2:21 pm

Dan – Mail call.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:22 pm

@Kimmie- should have a winter baby so the bay can enjoy the summer

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

No girlfriend ever kept me single. I only date men!!

Just kidding, I know what you mean, but most of the ladies on here are sharp enough, with minds of their own, to have figured that one out by now. At least I hope. I don’t have friends all up in my business. Haven’t since high school, and really didn’t then!

Kym

May 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

Well DK as my cousins have taught me you want to know men..you ask a man you want to know women you ask women. I share with my sisterfriends..but since I am a bit of a damn rebel.. I pretty much do what I want anyway.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

I don’t listen to girlfriends cuz I don’t share my business with any. Haven’t in the past 5 years because I know how some people like to sabatoge things on the DL

Leggs – But how can folks sabotage things by their opinions?

I have a very opinionated group of girlfriends that I share openly with. Anytime they fix their mouths to give “advice” I remind them that I’m going to do what the heck I want to anyway. :lol:

Professor

May 27th, 2009
2:23 pm

I am trying to catch up with the post since I have been gone for a few hours…

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
2:24 pm

Melo at least you got the leather part right :lol: What makes you think you’re the ONLY one? Truth be told I rather enjoy reading Truth’s posts(no pun intended)….he trims off the fat and gives you the meat…no double talk or stupid inuendos. As a matter of fact East point and W8 breathe fresh air from the male perspective and it’s quite refreshing. Nothing against u personally.

If a war unnu want, make it start nuh,man

Lioness- Going to the Pool after housekeeping leaves

May 27th, 2009
2:24 pm

Kimmie is going to have a baby? Congrats!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:27 pm

um my last comment @Kimmie that uh wasnt for you..I got a little confused there for a sec..or maybe im just being random to loosen things up in here a bit..hmmmmmmmm

Dan

May 27th, 2009
2:27 pm

@Kimmie

I will say that I try to speak on the women that I know in life. And there are few things that I’ve “said” here that I haven’t said in real life.

That stated, I listen to some of the ladies on the blog that I respect. I may not like all of what is “said”, but I listen. Because I don’t know what it takes to be a woman, nor do I care to.

But when you ladies drop some dimes, I see it. Maybe I (just speaking for the D) oughtta do better at acknowledging that.

@Truth and DK

I have married friends that are right now debating that very issue with me and out single homeboys.

Marriage, for some, is a paneaca until after the wedding and life begins.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:27 pm

Truth be told I rather enjoy reading Truth’s posts(no pun intended)….

not mad at chaa.
I got my prefs too.U digg??

Lioness- Going to the Pool

May 27th, 2009
2:27 pm

I would like to have a summer baby

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:28 pm

@lioness you would be the first one to catch that..lmao…

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
2:28 pm

ARed, you know how. No, let me retract. Let me go back to see who said something. Awww shyt, you said it —->It’s not her girlfriends fault she’s easily influenced, it’s hers. I have to agree with this! Carry on…..

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
2:29 pm

Sassy – They flashed a shot of DHoward with a UnderArmour tank on. I almost passed out.

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
2:29 pm

I don’t have friends all up in my business. Haven’t since high school, and really didn’t then!</em

Kimmie me either…never did hang with a huge clique of females b/c they keep up too mich ish and I don’t have the patience for it. I have one or two I roll with but not very often…usually do my dirty by my lonely. Last thing I need are witnesses…..

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
2:30 pm

Hi – Lioness…back at cha.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:30 pm

Let me go back to see who said something. Awww shyt, you said it —->It’s

Leggs – :lol:

I do acknowledge that folks can plant seeds of doubts in your head though. Even still, it’s your choice and on you if you chose to follow.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
2:31 pm

Oh good grief at any moment a big old love fest is going to break out.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
2:31 pm

Yeah I did fall into the blanket statement zone just then. Some women let their friends and families influence their lives..

Leggs – Its ok we disagree but at least its out there that we do and we can have a dialogue as to why. As long as we respect each others opinion on the matter and not stoop to petty attacks that undermine the conversation that put everyone on the defense. Now come over here and talk to me so we can work this thang out..

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:32 pm

I hate everybody..

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
2:33 pm

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I too had to laugh when I saw your name in front of that post.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
2:34 pm

Sassy and Sexycool – Dont’ rob the cradle now.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
2:34 pm

@W8 Peace sign up with the index down to you too dude.

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
2:34 pm

Good Topic.

My feelings is that there is nothing new under the sun. Therefore, I question the whole traditional v. modern relationship thing. As much as I talk about it, I don’t see that much different between the independent woman mentality and Eve’s mentality in the Garden. She knew what not to touch but had to have some of the “who is he to tell me what not to eat?” in her before the serpent came along. That is independent mindset aka I can decide for myself what is fit for me to eat.

Simping men have always been around. Some say the Adam was simping when he bit into the apple because he didn’t think for himself and was a follower.

As for relationships, there is no one size fits all for a traditional relationship. I’ve posted about my grandparents relationship. They had drag down real fist fights. I remember my grandma cutting my grandpa with a butcher knife, but then in the next breath getting her bag (& me) to take him to the emergency room. They both claimed to love each other and filled the gender roles but had that violent streak in both of them. However, when my grandpa had a heart attack, my grandma was right there by his side and took care of him and he did the same when she was diagnoses with cervical cancer. She refused a hysterectomy and he respected her wishes. (She wanted to leave earth with every part that she came into this world with) They were married for 57 years.

Relationships are as different as the people who are involved in them.

IMO the only thing traditional is keeping private things private (the behind closed doors doctrine). That is why reality show couples fail IMO. Their dirty laundry gets aired out publicly. Most couples don’t have to deal with that.

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
2:34 pm

They flashed a shot of DHoward with a UnderArmour tank on. I almost passed out.

Sexy Guurrl, I completly understand…he’s just a marvelous specimen. That’s what I want for Christmas(with a big red bow strategically placed on it)..I promise I’ll be good. :)

Melo I agree…I have my “prefs.” as well..to each his/own…that’s why I like this blog.

Lioness- Going to the Pool

May 27th, 2009
2:35 pm

W8- My bad.. I can be random sometimes..

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
2:35 pm

W8 – It’s all good, though there are about 10 pregnant or just-had-babies women in my small office of this large corporation, so there is something in the water!

I always wanted a spring baby though, because I hated it that my birthday was in January!LOL!!

But no, Aunt Flow is visiting…sigh… I know, TMI!!!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
2:37 pm

DK – I hear you on that 2:14…it’s to whomever it applies. It’s not foreign to me that some folks are indeed weakminded and unable to make a sound decision for themselves…by themselves. Those are usually the ones who take no ownership for what they do!…since they often come back with the “you told me to do this…or I took your advice, it’s all your fault that I’m…blah, blah, blah…” But ultimately, whether she takes responsibility for what SHE ALLOWED herself to say, think and do…bottomline, it’s still HER fault, no one else. But I hear you…

W8 up – What’s up?! You could have saved some of that steak, dude!… I like ketchup on mine hahahaaa j/k!…ewww

Melo – You’re something else, man! Lol…but thank you. I’ll try my best to give you your money’s worth with my post. Fyi…none will be for shock either…I mean every…well most of what I put out hear! Lol…so keep those donations comin’…!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
2:37 pm

Dang I read that back and it was a horrible sentence or two in there..

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
2:38 pm

W8 What’s wrong boo boo? as I hug you and you rest your head on my….shoulder :)

SexyLeggs

May 27th, 2009
2:38 pm

Stop lying W-8!

@DK, yes, that is one of the main ingredients in a relationship…”Respect”. We are starting off with a great foundation :lol:

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 27th, 2009
2:38 pm

WD, did Blanca finally quit or are we still waiting for her return? lmao

Really the only folks talking about wanting to get married have never been married.

Jams, whats up little lady? Was talking to a cat from Tampa/St Pete the other day and thought about you. Hope all is well.

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
2:38 pm

put out *here*

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
2:38 pm

Hey Mo -I went partime when my kid was 9months. I juiced the heck outta my Longterm Disability!!! Sure did…he did not attend daycare until he was walking and training to the potty.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:42 pm

@Kym- you are number one in my world also..lol Hey Kym I’m W8, nice to meet ya
@Lioness- No problem, with randomness(you been going to the pool for about 3 hours)
@Kimmie- I had a response but your last sentence took me for a loop…so umm Go Dawgs!!
@Jamoca- ..she wanted to put ketchup on a steak at chops..tsk tsk tsk..thanks for bringing that up..grrr..lol

M'

May 27th, 2009
2:44 pm

So y’all think dat be what happened to Jon & Kate????…he wanted the traditional and she went modern????…lol…j/k

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:45 pm

@Sassy- (while sniffling) dey wuz messsiiinnn wif me..i didn do nnuf uf uf uf in (while pointing @Kym) she showed me her middle finger

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:46 pm

DK – I hear you on that 2:14…it’s to whomever it applies-Jamoca.

I hate to give u another cosign, else they call me simping.When it hurts u,u holla loudly!!! :lol:
Even married dudes/girls do that.Hang with other married dudes coz the unmaried/single etc will corrupt ur midset,wittingly and unwittingly or by osmosis.The moment my clique turned certain ages and we were hitched,our single friends dropped themsleves off the radar or we just found ourselves not hanging with them that much.To talk about what??Their many girlfrinds??
Coommon sense in my area code.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
2:47 pm

@PoppaG, I’ve been waiting to read you on this topic all day. Thank you and I agree w/you. The other part to your reality show statement is that’s also why relationships fail like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Never understood how some truly expects to find love going that route!

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 27th, 2009
2:49 pm

Cee, is “juicing the heck out of longterm disability” the christian thing to do? You sure get going about god on a regular but there’s times you totally forget about it. Whats up with that?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
2:50 pm

Really the only folks talking about wanting to get married have never been married.

Truth –

:lol: There are divorcees that would like to get married again. I don’t think they exist on this blog though. :lol:

Kym

May 27th, 2009
2:50 pm

@W8 First you and your buddy all but call me a liar. Then you talk about you hate everybody, figured I would return the hateration.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:51 pm

@M- who is Jon & Kate
@Sexy- I aint lying (rolls my eyes)

Dan

May 27th, 2009
2:51 pm

@Leggs

If we can agree that society has changed from the traditional gender roles, can we agree that the search for “love” has changed as well?

I mean, between all the E-Harmony and other venues finding “love” or a relationship has gotten more accessible and a lot more difficult.

Lord Velonese

May 27th, 2009
2:53 pm

Reading between lines of what Raqi is saying, basically people still want there cake and eat it too.

Derail: Most of you need to go back to school; the poor grammar on here makes my eyes bleed.

Enough Said.

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
2:54 pm

M

So y’all think dat be what happened to Jon & Kate????…he wanted the traditional and she went modern????…lol…j/k

I don’t watch the show, but I saw the clips on all of the newsmagazines (Today, GMA, etc). It seems that he doesn’t like the camera being there all of the time. He body language (especially face) shows resentment. He wants to be done with it (the show and the relationship).

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
2:54 pm

@Kym- When I made that post I was agreeing with you not disagreeing and Ce said something along the same lines so I agreed with the both of you at the same time.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
2:55 pm

Melo – I agree with your 2:46. But like an earlier post I wrote to Dan, some folks do have a negetive influence on your mindset, even if they are the same status as you – and that’s where DK’s post about friends is true but not only for women. For example, a lot of your friends were marriage-minded and family-oriented. I notice a lot of guys who have friends that have a negetive mindset toward marriage and family or who are messing around on their wives – they tend to, if not emulate that behavior, at least be influenced by it – so they fear marriage and commitment or are not faithful themselves.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
2:56 pm

Super Truth -What? My insurance has to do with God? Have you ever seen a Longterm Disability insurance policy?

I think you just wanna holla! :) What up mister?

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
2:56 pm

Jon and Kate is a perfect example of how a woman can be oh so disrespectful and demasculate a man.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
2:57 pm

do have a negetive influence on your mindset, even if they are the same status as you

thats true too!

DJ Sniper

May 27th, 2009
2:57 pm

W8, Jon and Kate are a couple who had fertility treatments and would up with 8 kids. They have a reality show on TLC called Jon and Kate Plus 8. Recently, Jon was spotted out on the town drinking with another chick, and now some of his dirt is starting to come out, as well as dirt his wife has done.

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
2:57 pm

Leggs

The Bachelor and Bachelorette shows are fake. They are like Flava Flav’s show with wannabe celebrities picking other wannabe celebrities.

The reality shows that I speak of are like Carmen Electra’s marriage, Jessica Simpson’s marriage. These people were already married or already about to get married when they decided to have a show. A show is really invasive. They will only show the dirt because that is what gets ratings.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:00 pm

DK – You’re just gonna ride this “demasculate” word til the wheels fall off huh? :lol:

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
3:00 pm

So y’all think dat be what happened to Jon & Kate????…he wanted the traditional and she went modern????…

M I’m not sure what happened to Jon and Kate….I’ve watched the show enough to see just from their body language that something just wasn’t right. I noticed how Jon would sit with his arm out and open and Kate sat away from him…kinda like shunning him and it just wasn’t inviting. I know they have 8 kids but I rarely saw affection between them. Plus Kate treated Jon like one of the kids….now THAT was emasculating. Even other female viewers replied that “she had it coming”….and since then Kate has admitted that she lost her temper with him quite a bit.

W8 Jon and Kate plus 8 is a show on TLC that follows a couple that have 8 children (set of twins 9yrs. old and a set of sextulplets that just turned 5 yrs old.)

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:01 pm

@DJ- damn 8 kids and they are both out doing dirt? It’s a reality show?

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 27th, 2009
3:01 pm

Kimmie, for the last dam time, men dont fear marriage or commitment, it just doesnt have enough in the deal to make it worth it.

Ared, if they dont exist in blogsville they dont exist. Do you know any guys that want to get married? If so why not hook up with them? Really.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:03 pm

Yes Amazon Yes I am..

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
3:05 pm

As far as Jon and Kate goes, I see both sides of the show thing.

I understand not wanting the show around to film everything.

However, I don’t know what is his profession, but I heard that she was a nurse. Feeding 8 kids on a nurses salary is a stretch. Especially when most of them are the same age. That eliminates some of the hand me down stuff. In the future they will all be in college together. So, the show is a major source of income.

He should have spoken up when when chose not to adopt as previously planned. (according the story that I saw this morning, there was a pregnant teenager that we gonna adopt from). She took fertility pills and this was the result. He gave in and I think that may be the root of his resentment.

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
3:05 pm

AmRed just for fun I googled the word demasculate and even though the results came back and asked “Did you mean emasculate?” apparently it does exist…..who’d have “thunk it” :)

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:06 pm

I’ve been through a divorce, I want to get married again. I learned more about what marriage is supposed to be after my divorce though. I am giving it until 1/2/2011..

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:06 pm

Do you know any guys that want to get married? If so why not hook up with them? Really.

Sure do. No need to hook up with em, many of them are hooked up and engaged already.

Or they are too short for me. ;)

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
3:07 pm

@W-8, don’t roll your eyes…it makes you look like a punk (LOL)!

@Dan, I can understand EHarmony or online dating. Picking a mate out of 20 others kissing, sexing and feeling up on you while cameras are rolling and the network paying for the beautiful dates only to be shell shocked when you plant your feet back in reality wondering “why didn’t we work” is a whole different baliwick.

@PoppaG, I agree with. I too don’t understand why married couples would want to air their dirty laundry on tv and truly think the marriage will survive. Don’t know what the heck Bobby and Whitney was thinking (yeah I know $$$) doing a realtity show. That was pure d stupidness in its best form!

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
3:07 pm

I, too, am divorced, but would like to be married again.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

Truth – So you saying you not scared to be married to me? Good, cause you know you married me for my money. I thought we had an understanding.LOL!!

For lack of a better word – fear – but yes, I’ve noticed especially with men that if they have a lot of naysayers around telling them how awful marriage is, especially if they did not have a good example with their parents, they are fearful – or lets say “extremely hesitant”LOL!

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

Cee

Do you still need the name to Flip the burger boutique on Howell Mill?

BTW, when did Six Foot Under On Memorial sell out to Tin Lizzy’s. The only Six Foot Under is now near Northside.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

W8- What if you’re putting a ultimatum on something that is not suppose to happen prior to 1/2/2011? Are you just sayin’…just sayin’?

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

I’ll start taking those apologies on my word demasculate starting here…

Dan

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

@DK

She had his masculinity in hand from Day 1, partly why I can’t watch the show (that one episode was enuff for me).

@PG

An astute analysis. She made a decision and wants them to live with it.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
3:11 pm

My guy is divorced and wants to get married again. It appears that abc is someone that’s been divorced but promotes marriage (did abc get married?)

I have another guy friend that got divorced and promotes marriage. He and I almost dated, but he couldn’t wait until the divorce was final before trying to holla…

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:13 pm

@ PoppaG – What? Six Feet has done the switcheroo?! I’m not trippin’ as long as they didn’t move to waaaaayyyy North Atl.

Did you go to have dinner at the other location?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:13 pm

PG – She was a nurse, but gave up nursing when she had the sextuplets, so her salary was of no consideration.

He was in IT or something and they got by on that and a lot of free stuff from folks.

He quit his job a couple years ago because the show and appearances paid them enough that neither would have to work.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
3:13 pm

BTW, when did Six Foot Under On Memorial sell out to Tin Lizzy’s. The only Six Foot Under is now near Northside.

WHAT?!?!!? Dang, I was planning to go there this weekend… :-(

Sybil

May 27th, 2009
3:14 pm

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:14 pm

Flip issa done deal. Thanks for remembering!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:15 pm

I’ll start taking those apologies on my word demasculate starting here…

:lol: You say demasculate when the word is “emasculate” or does demasculate mean something different then what the context said.

Conversate is not a word either, but folks use it and you can find it. :lol:

Sybil

May 27th, 2009
3:16 pm

DefiNItion, that is.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:16 pm

Sybil – Oh it’s an “urban” word eh?

No wonder. :lol:

Dan

May 27th, 2009
3:17 pm

@Kimmie

That “fear” and “influence” you speak of is the measure of that man. No one can tell anyone else how to live life because all our experiences are different.

I too would like to be married, in part to have that soulmate in my life, and in part because I don’t do kids outside of marriage. But in listening to all the griping, arguments, and frustration of my married peers and relatives the one constant is to find the woman that you can love and like, the woman that you argue with and nothing festers, and pray like heck that she don’t change after “I do”.

Kym

May 27th, 2009
3:17 pm

PopG Six Feet is still in the area go down one block to the Jane bldg. And quit spreading rumors.

Sybil

May 27th, 2009
3:17 pm

@ARed – you feel me, huh?

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
3:18 pm

Enter your comments here

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
3:18 pm

Just because it’s in the urban dictionary doesn’t make it a word. I know you know this. Cool! Do you rememeber how long it took for the word “ain’t” to appear in Webster’s? Most of those urban words will never appear!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:19 pm

@ARed – you feel me, huh?

You know it. Type in “conversate” and see what comes up. I am LMAO!!! :lol:

Melo

May 27th, 2009
3:19 pm

Or they are too short for me.

yeah!! a tall chic with a short guy,proly it can work.But it sure looks hilarious! :lol:
And i bet u,he will always be angry coz other dudes will want to holla at u in his presence.And short dude will alwaaaaaays take it the wrong way and to another level. :arrow: thats him Ared :evil: looking and waiting to hear ur response to that other hollering dude! :lol:

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:19 pm

Poppa – I heard that too, about the adoption and his resentment when she got preggers with sextuplets. One more kid he was cool with, but 6? The few times I watched it I could feel the tension between them – his resentment and her bossyness! Their marriage was a disaster waiting to happen so I am not surprised.

Personally, if I were in Jon’s shoes, I would have stuffed that resentment and we’d have put on an Oscar-worthy performance for the camera to get that money!!LOL!! He could have shut her mouth easily from jump if he had the balls and we would have rode that thing out till those kids went away to college!! I know, sounds easier than it looks, but hey, give me a chance to make a cool million or so and I’d work it!!!

Melo

May 27th, 2009
3:21 pm

Conversate,Aks(ask),Demascualte….i get it when they say it tho!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:21 pm

@Leggs- LMAO..no punk here..all beef!!
@kimmie- good example from parents will do that to ya
@Cee-If i’m not engaged by then I guess I would just be missing out then..fa real fa real

Sybil

May 27th, 2009
3:21 pm

@Leggs – that’s the exact point I was making.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:22 pm

Most of those urban words will never appear!

Good. Bootylicious is in (some) dictionaries too. :lol:

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:24 pm

@kimmie- so he wanted one more kid and got 6?

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:24 pm

Six Feet is still in the area go down one block to the Jane bldg. And quit spreading rumors.

She is my “Ambassador of Kwan”.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:24 pm

Dan- I feel ya, that’s just a discussion for another day. The 2 I dealt with were affected negetively – at the very least I had to hear about the gripes of the friends and then deal with the effects on my men’s spirit and it was not pleasant. My SO’s friends don’t have those troubles, or at least they keep them to themselves. A much more pleasant situation to be in.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
3:26 pm

I know it was, Sybil.

LOL @ W-8.

@Melo, using the word “conversate” it next to the top on my list of Don’t’s. But “aks” is at the top! I cannot stand the way a lot of black folx say “ask”. There’s an “s” in there and it’s not SILENT!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:26 pm

W8 – Yep, just one!

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
3:27 pm

Cemeeli – She is my “Ambassador of Kwan”.

GIRL – I was JUST looking up Jerry Maquire quotes today. And did you know that you can find the manifesto that he wrote online?

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
3:28 pm

PopG Six Feet is still in the area go down one block to the Jane bldg. And quit spreading rumors.

Thanks Kym – the bad part about it is, I knew this…the last time I went it was in the new building. *my mind is bad

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
3:29 pm

W8 actually he didn’t WANT anymore but Kate JUST HAD to have ONE more and they got six and neither were keen on the idea of “reduction” so they had six chirren even though they had two already.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:29 pm

@kimmie- so he wanted one more kid and got 6?

W8 – He was happy with the two they had. She wanted to go for one more. He agreed after they talked about it for a while. They knew the chances were high to get multiples with infertility treatments, but neither of them expected 6.

But basically, it wasn’t his to go over the two they had. He said that he didn’t resent it because he didn’t have to agree.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:30 pm

Dan @ I know I checked it to see what the hub bub was about and I was like she talks real wreckless to him..

Amazon – Tomato or Tom-ato. Demaculate is on the innanet.. You just cant lose can you? Take the L babe. It suits you.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:31 pm

Dang I’m talking junk and mispell the word i’m trying to defend..

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:31 pm

Okay, as others have clarified – he AGREED to one more, not WANTED!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:32 pm

Demaculate is on the innanet..

DK – And? So is a lot of things.

The word is “emasculate” though. That is what it is.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:33 pm

It’s so funny runnin’ into you
It has to be three years
Since we last seen each other
Many flashbacks come to mind
Of the wild and crazy times
We used to have with one another
We absolutely didn’t care
We would do it anywhere
Eye contact, and it was over
But that’s when I was wildin’ out
I couldn’t care less about
Someone gettin’ hurt
I’ve done my share of dirt
But I done wised up
1 - Seein’ you reminds me of
All the nights I used to beat it up
I would do it again, but I can’t
Cuz everything is different now
I finally have settled down
And became a one woman man
Ooh
There were many others after you
Quite a few one night stands
Some of their names I can’t remember
Imagine wakin’ up to someone new
You barely even knew
Time and time again
But there’s someone for everyone
I’ve been blessed to find that one
Who makes me feel like no other
You are lookin’ good as hell
But I can’t go home with you
Because I’m goin’ home to her
Repeat 1
Long gone, are the days
When I ran the streets
Tryin’ to get laid
Ooh, and now
(See now that I found the love of my life)
(I don’t have to trick no more)
Girl, it was nice seein’ you
But I gotta go home to my baby

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 27th, 2009
3:33 pm

Sassy Me doing her homework and using the “word of the day” in a sentence: Kate demasculated Jon so he found him a Ms. New booty. :) Read y’all tomorrow…..

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:33 pm

SexyCool -

Jerry Maquire

Cuba Gooding worked that movie! It’s actually one of my favorite. Regina did her thing too…a Classic.

Cuba was good in “Radio” too…another favorite sappy movie i watch over and over.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:35 pm

Leggs – I can’t stand to here people say “shrimps”!

THere is this lady I work with that tries to be all proper and lets everyone know she is not from here, but from Baltimore. How about I hear her saying all the time “I seen this or I seen that”? It drives me crazy! SAW, it’s SAW!!!!LOL!!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:36 pm

So this woman Kate gets sideways at the mouth with her husband on national tv?

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:36 pm

Tazzee “my mind is bad” We need to stop smoking that stuuuufff.

HA!

I went to the new side building before also. And i think you and i spoke about it. I went with S and she got turned around b/c she had been there only the one time before going again.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:37 pm

Amazon – I am not going to allow you to demasculate me.. See where this is going?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:38 pm

So this woman Kate gets sideways at the mouth with her husband on national tv?

She hits him too. Most of the time it’s playful, but a couple of times, she’s slapped him a little too hard and has to apologize.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:38 pm

@ W8 – You get a fine for all that! I feel like i had to post around a long curtain or something!

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
3:39 pm

Cemeeli – TNT used to loop Jerry Maguire – playing it 3 or 4 times back to back. I could literally pick it up at any point and watch it all the way through a few times.

Same thing with Pretty Woman, Coming to America, Love Jones and Brown Sugar.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:39 pm

Amazon – I am not going to allow you to demasculate me.. See where this is going?

Um…I’m not trying to. You said you were going to ride it til the wheels fall off, and I have no problem with that.

But I’m not going to apologize to you for saying the word is “emasculate” because it is, whether you chose to use it or not. Do you but don’t think I owe you anything. :D :arrow:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:41 pm

Jerry Maguire…great movie. I can relate to Avery Bishop.

“I won’t let you hurt me Jerry! I’m too strong for you! Loser.” :lol:

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
3:41 pm

Cemeeli – Last one – I promise….I LOVE BLACK PEEEEOOOPPPPLLLLEEEEE!!!!! LMAO

Oh – and my language pet peeve is when I hear people say a numerous amount of times. Whatdahell?

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:43 pm

Off Topic: I guess it’s rough in all industries..A stripper I know “Just sent me a text stating”Can you help me out with $20 to get groceries to feed my kids” thats deep on a bunch of levels when you can’t earn twenty in the strip club. (strippers are an excellent source when you are looking for people..thats my story and i am sticking to it)
Do I:
1.Make her dance for it?
2. Tell her hell no!
3. Make her dance for it?
4. Tell her no?
5. Give her $20 and send her to Demi?

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
3:44 pm

Kimmie

Leggs – I can’t stand to here people say “shrimps

I’m with you on that one.

There was this girl in HS that used to say that she loved to eat cereals for breakfast. I tried to correct her, but she said that there was more than one in the bowl so it should be plural.

At the point, I remembered “if you argue will a fool, people have a hard time telling you apart., and left her alone. She was fine as all as all outdoors, but as dumb as her pet rock.

W8

Does Vince Young ever want to play again? Videos of him “makin’ it rain” recently showed up on the internet. That doesn’t look like good judgment from a guy that plays a position that requires good judgment.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:45 pm

Amazon – You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:45 pm

SexyCool – All i can think about now is the scene when Jerry Maquire (Cuba) was in the kitchen on the phone with Matt (Tom Cruise)….the shirt off and dancin’…leave it alone Cee…leave it alone!

btw – I loved “Bob Sugar’s” name, I dont’ know why….

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
3:46 pm

W8 – I vote for #5.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:46 pm

You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.

:?:

I’m sorry proper english poses some threat to you. Sounds like a personal problem to me.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:47 pm

W8 – I say ignore her til she’s woman enough to call you! Must have been a mass text. :lol:

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 27th, 2009
3:48 pm

The misuse of ‘myself’ is widespread, but it still grates my nerves.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm

You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.

LOLOLOL!!! Now you sound like that militant dude in prison trying to sound all intelligent with made-up words and real words used out of context that Damon Wayans used to play on In Living Color!!

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm

this blog . . . it is what it is! i do hate the name calling. it’s so uncalled for. and it does remind me of hs. what happens on here is the reason why schools get shot up by anger and depressed teens.

we really need to think before we call someone out their name. is it really necessary?

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm

There was this girl in HS that used to say that she loved to eat cereals for breakfast. I tried to correct her, but she said that there was more than one in the bowl so it should be plural.

:lol: :lol: :lol: She probably said that to you with much attitude too!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
3:50 pm

SexyCool Jerry Maquire “Jerry Maguire: I don’t like black people? I am Mister black people.”

You gotta love it.

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
3:50 pm

correction:
what happens on here is similar to why schools get shot up by . . .

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm

Amazon – I’ve been befuddled by the english language for years..

Melo

May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm

W8© several scenarios u can do;

U a cop,right?? If true:
1)u can refuse her any money,maybe shell do crime instead,that helps to keep the crime stats up and u get to keep ur job since they will need u to fight crime(thats number 2 on ur list)
2)u make her dance for it but u devise ur own dance routine(wink),thats n#1
3)make her dance for it again(thats overnighta),thats number 3 on ur list :lol:
4) make her go to Demi wld be evil of u since hes been dry for a while,hell make her work real hard.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm

Amazon – Great answer to the text though I couldnt have said better myself

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:53 pm

I’ve been befuddled by the english language for years..

DK – That’s fine man. Really.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
3:53 pm

She was fine as all as all outdoors, but as dumb as her pet rock.

I think she was taking it from her mama :lol:

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
3:54 pm

Truth – AwwwMannnn!…what happened to “babygirl” ? …and what’s up witcha?! …and what’s this you say about Muslim puddies, I mean “broads” . OMG! LOL…do tell!

Didn’t Tatas and I tell you what to do, just to give you the feeling of being with a true sistah (…which happens to be one of your biggest preferences, but you couldn’t find you one within close range, worth havin’ to save yo’ crazy life…) …but you profess to the “neva-end” that you love ya’self somma us while in the same breath, you’ll never fully commit naa’an one of us ever again?!!! (now pouting!)

Oh, the irony and cleverness of that! I just love it!…bet you can’t wait to go over to Dubai!…just tell Nafeeza to get two tracks of weave sewn into her head and spread em! Lmao! Oh, Mr. Sandman….I bet you wish it was just that simple. Shoot, I’m surprised The Shiek hasn’t bust down ya’ door yet?

So what’s up with dude from Tamper (yes, Tamper..lol)/St.Pete area? Is he in Truth’s Training Corp on being a self made man….please say it ain’t so!

Melo – Stop it, stop it, stop it! Lol…you’re killin’ me with your 2:46!…consider today all on me, man!

Bonafide Brutha who made em W8 – I’d go with #’s 1, 3, and 5! LOL And yeah, tell Ms. Leggums it’s all Grade A!…hahahaaa …now I wan’ a Nathan’s hot dog w/ mustard, hold the ketchup! (yum yum yum)…dayum, I hate being a Vegan eatin’ all deez betch-tables Lmao!

Now since Ms. Cee won’t take roll call??? I’ll do it! (…before you know it, she’ll have me running the ville’s cafe!

Dushawn I need you to bless the blog with your presence and your “beloved” yet crazy stories, from Du’s Classified Chronicles!

Foots I need you to bless the ville with your thoughts as well.

Blue Miss reading your snide comments too! Lol…plus ya’ lingo can assist in irritating some of the lurkers on here that our fresh out of night school themselves.

2CPTG Mayne, dayum!…just peek ya’ self in n’ say wuzzup! ..kiss my azz witcha tongue out!…sumthin!!! Miss reading your version of real-ism!

Main_Lurker Gurrrl, quit playin’!…and getcho’ butt out here. Miss your brashy yet honest replies…however, so classy at the same time! Cuh’mooonnnnn naah!

and WillieD ‘dis here’s yo’ ish (today’s topic)…where you @?!!! lol

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:54 pm

Amazon – Great answer to the text though I couldnt have said better myself

W8 –

Can’t knock her hustle tho. If 5 people say “yes” she just made a $100 in 5 minutes. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm

Whoops, meant DK in my 3:54.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm

what happens on here is similar to why schools get shot up by

which private school did u go to Beautiful??

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm

Cemeeli – GIIIIRRRLLLL…you gone have me watching the movie tonight.

Ray: “Do you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
3:57 pm

@PG- Nooo not Vince Young..(going to google now)
@Ared-lol I pay her for information..I wont give her any money because if I start that trend she will think she can get over
@Beautiful- you want to shot the blog up?
@Melo- I’m not a “cop” per se..man if i touched one of those tricks they would try and hem me up so quick..I would lose everything…not worth it…lol

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
3:58 pm

Its always the beautiful ones that talk about shooting up people, cutting off your johnson and putting it in a pickle jar.. Beautiful I am afraid right now.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:01 pm

Yeah, I could definitely see Angie snapping and boiling a few bunnies. :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:01 pm

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm

I wont give her any money because if I start that trend she will think she can get over

W8 – Such the suspect. She could really need help. :(

It’s just $20.

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm

Just read the headline about the NBA rescending the tech called on DHoward last night. When they called it, I was 38 hot. How could you let Smith holler about his ‘mpchkng house’ and penalize DHoward for a natural reaction?

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm

Amazon – And your friends don’t understand your choice of man
They speak proper while my speech is from a gargabe can
But regardless, you shouldn’t have to be so raw
I’m lookin’ at the front door

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:03 pm

DK – :lol: :lol: :lol:

Shut up dude. :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:04 pm

Cee

Here’s a Jerry Maguire quote for ya:

“A real man wouldn’t shoplift the pootie from a single mom.”

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:04 pm

@W-8, just give her $30 and call it a day. She will be very appreciative. Pay it forward, pay it forward!

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:06 pm

I say $30 because she probably needs more and felt $20 was safe.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
4:06 pm

SASSY…all I can do is drool when I see Dwight Howard! Dat man is SEXINESS on a platter! It’s hard to watch the game with all dat finess running up and down the court! He makes me think dirty things! :evil: My cup ruuneth over..he maketh me lie down in green pastures…UGH! (Clean up on aisle 4)! :lol:

LORD Velonese….is that what cake is for…to eat it? :lol: Pay me no mind..I’m just being a smart a$$! :lol:

W8…You didn’t lay down with this stripper to make those kids…so they are not your responsibilty! I go with telling her hell no! It may be only $20…but she is probably asking plenty of other dudes for only $20…hell after 5 you got $100.

BEAUTIFUL…I now you’re no bunny boiler! :lol:

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:07 pm

Its always the beautiful ones that talk about shooting up people

By beautiful ones u mean Dumb ones,DK??

I know right!
A beautiful moment/comment,MIA blog style is a dumb moment/comment.
Angie got that on lock :lol:

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:07 pm

SexyCool

Ray is soooo cuthe <–(my way of saying “cute”). I bet hes a grown man, or a teenager now!

(Cuba) Rod: “Who’s our muthsucka Jerry?”

I need to find that movie, if i have it!

Oh! And I got Cuba and Tom Cruise stage movie names mixed up on that other post. sorry

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:08 pm

SexyCool

Just read the headline about the NBA rescending the tech called on DHoward last night. When they called it, I was 38 hot. How could you let Smith holler about his ‘mpchkng house’ and penalize DHoward for a natural reaction?

I am glad that they rescinded that tech. I’ve seen LeBron dunk, land and then flex the biceps. That is more taunting than what Howard did last night. With that said, he still needs to be careful. 7 techs equal a one game suspension. He has five now that last nights was rescinded.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
4:10 pm

W8 – Have her come over and dust for you.. Slowly.. With heels on.

No seriously if you have it to lend and not expect to get it back then do it. If not then dont.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:10 pm

He makes me think dirty things! My cup ruuneth over..he maketh me lie down in green pastures…UGH! (Clean up on aisle 4)!

Staceye! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Those shoulders do make me think naughty things, tho. :twisted: Best ones since David Robinson’s and a better face to go with it too.

I was late to work this morning and I told new boo I blamed it on him. He responded “blame it on Dwight Howard’s shoulders.” LMAO.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:11 pm

“A real man wouldn’t shoplift the pootie from a single mom.”

PoppaG – Who paired Tom and Cuba together and wrote that did a great movie!

This is Rod (Cuba) to (Tom) Jerry Maquire – “Anyone else would have left you by now, but I’m sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you’re gonna show me the money.”

^^^ Hay diddididd!

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
4:12 pm

Pg – thanks for correcting my spelling on rescind.

Beautiful

May 27th, 2009
4:12 pm

y’all know what i mean. lol. i’m teaching my son now not to make fun of ppl. it’s just not nice and also just plain dangerous.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm

lol @ ARed and DK

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm

Bonafide – You may even want to put it on paper too (and yes, for $20. Like I tell my daughter, true “hunger” does not discriminate…PB & J tastes like pizza if you’re hungry enough…LOL)…highlighting that this is a one time thing; given your profession versus hers, there would be no confusion as to what the “hand up” was for, just in case she returns in the future!…CYA baby! CYA! LOL

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm

lol @ Ared and DK.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:14 pm

@PG- I peeped on TMZ, thanks

@Everyone else about this stripper..She is a Stripper she can go do 2 lapdances and get $20, what do i look like giving a stripper money? I pay here for information, if she can give me a lead on lil ray ray and dem I can help her out if not..she’s gets no love..a stripped textn for $20 bucks is showing me signs that she may have a “habit”

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:15 pm

Page1908 – Where have you been heffa!

Now, don’t shoot me up for me calling you a name. :lol: :roll: :lol:

Lioness- Going to the Pool

May 27th, 2009
4:15 pm

29 year old with 21 kids

On paper, he has 20 possibly 21 children. With a minimum wage job, he can’t afford to support them all.

What is the state to do?

Desmond Hatchett, 29, told WVLT he wasn’t out to set a record, though he certainly holds it in Knox County Juvenile Child Support Court.Hatchett’s children range in age from newborn 11.There are at least 11 mothers; probably several more.

Constitutionally, there is nothing the state can do to limit him from having more.”I had four kids in the same year. Twice.” Desmond Hatchett told Volunteer TV.On Friday, his name appeared on the docket 11 times; Representing about 15 of his 21 children.

“The children can’t be supported all by Desmond, so the state of Tennessee has had to step in,” Hatchett’s attorney Keith Pope said.

SMDH!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

Or you could ask her if she would like to make some “honest money”. And provide her with someone that could use some help around their house, running errands, babysitting…heyal landscaping LOL But honestly, I’m telling you, if she really needs it, and its for her children, she won’t turn it down…esp being that it’s honest pay. Just a thought.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

@Staceye- Yup those kids are not my issue
@Jamoca- pbj taste like pizza..whaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

W8…I forgot you were in law enforcement. Yeah that does sound like a habit which is sad because she does have kids.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

LOL ARed…girl, I have been here working. I also went back home for 8 days in March, but i can’t keep up on here anymore lol.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:18 pm

Show me the mooooneeeeeey!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:19 pm

Oh they did reverse the tech-foul call on Howard? Goood!!

I’m glad.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:21 pm

@Jamoca- It is not that deep I told her no..her issues are not my own..she is just an informant to me I dont care about her personal issues at all, everytime we pass money along or information we have to document it..if I give her money that could put everything i’ve done with information i’d gathered from her in doubt…see the other side of that is that should could be testing me for someone that we have already caught..just to cause doubt…you have to navigate through this stuff.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:21 pm

I also went back home for 8 days in March,

:( Home… I know you enjoyed it! Glad you’re back.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:22 pm

If i were a proffnal athlete, i wldnt get married.
They all end up divorced,miserable and angry and broke anyway,many on druggs.
Better solo and save ur money.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:26 pm

Yeah, I don’t go back again until August…bummer but a few of my friends have already visited me here. My parents will be here in July!! 18 months in Atlanta and I still have my Cali accent lol….ask Leggs and Staceye lol.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
4:26 pm

Snitchin Strippers!! Dang.. WTH!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
4:27 pm

W8 – I would not touch that with a 10-foot pole. Act like you didn’t even get the email.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:29 pm

18 months in Atlanta and I still have my Cali accent lol

I left Cali in 2001 for good and I certainly still have mine. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

Anyone ever done the Viking Cooking School? Like the 12 week series and not just a class here and there?

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

Bonafide – Well…you asked, didn’t you?! Lol I personally don’t give money to folks just because they say that they’re hungry. My response is usually, “I’ll buy you something, if you’re really hungry”. Of course, I know, a lot of them (on the streets) have habits. Is it my problem? No. But it checks them everytime and gives me my answer on whether or not, the hunger was ever really there.

Heyal, I had one woman at the gas station ask me for “just change”. I said what for? She’s like: “I’m so thirsty”…I proceed to go back in the store…just for her to stop me and say, “ohhh, you can just give it to me…I’ll get it later…” Yeah right! I told her: You’re not really that thirsty then, b/c I ain’t givin’ you one read cent for you to just go and smoke it! Lol… Trust me, I know what it is.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

@Kimmie- I have to report it so that it doesnt come back on me

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

W8, so have u figured out which bloggers are into crime yet on here?? :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

Oh snap, I forgot about your profession. Your 4:21 makes sense!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

You do? Wow, that’s good! My friend on facebook told me i talk like a “valley girl” lol. i was like oh ok.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:32 pm

U know Kimmie has her side cake bizz but no Fulton bizz licence to show 4 it :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:32 pm

Stop trying to throw ppl under the bus Melo! Here take this {{{forward pluck}}}!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:33 pm

i talk like a “valley girl” lol. i was like oh ok.

Page – That’s what I’m told too. They just call it that by default! :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:34 pm

Here I am thinking from the heart when in reality and we got law enforcement, informants, bookkeeping, making sure nothing is commingled. Ok, I gotcha!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:35 pm

Melo, I betnot find out you’re the blog informant, just for a little side hustle! LOL

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:35 pm

@Melo- Lol I turn my head alot, besides I’m not local or state I chase Federal fugitives who are looking at around 20 years plus in the “bootyhouse”

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
4:36 pm

PAGE & ARED…is it safe to say Cali girls are Valley girls? :lol: Hey I have been here 5 years and people say I sound like I am fresh off the plane for the very first time in ATL. You never lose you hone grown accent.

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:37 pm

Leggs

Oh snap, I forgot about your profession

He wants you to forget, get comfortable.

Next, he will ask to meet you.The next thing you know is that you are meeting Chris Hanson with a TV crew.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

W8 – Gotcha – CYA for work. I would act “blank” to her though!

Melo – Hush, now that was our little secret! Can’t tell you nothin – but hey, at least I don’t have to pay you a cut anymore!!! Insert foot into mouth!!LOL!!!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

Staceye, I don’t know lol. Yeah, you do sound kinda rough with that NY accent. To me, it’s more noticeable when I talk to you on the phone lol.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

SexyCool and PoppaG – Ya’ll left me all hype wanting more quotes! lol

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

I see some of uall are gonna lurk henceforth.
We got the pow pow in dis house. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:39 pm

I won’t forget going forward!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:40 pm

is it safe to say Cali girls are Valley girls?

Staceye – No it is not! Besides, the N. Cali and S. Cali folks sound different. Think Snoop Dogg vs. E-40. :lol:

But yeah, I bet you are so NY with it. Leggs still sounds NY to me. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:40 pm

He’s not the po po. He’s a federal agent!

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:41 pm

W8

Melo- Lol I turn my head alot

I have a friend that is a FBI agent in Los Angeles. She was in town recently with her soon to be husband. We all met for lunch. Outside the spot there was a guy like Hustleman (Tracy Morgan) from Martin. Dude was trying to sell us bootleg copies of Star Trek (this was before it was released). She tried to look the other way, but dude wouldn’t leave her alone. She eventually reached in her purse and pulled out her badge and dude and his stuff got seized.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:42 pm

I’m so silly i have these mints that are called “GREAT BITE” remsemblance of a shark bite…. And so they have a lil small bite/indention in them, but instead of putting them in my mouth and eat em, i nibble inside the already bitten part until the mint is gone.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:43 pm

And to my mother, I sound country. Staceye’s accent is deeper than mine. Everything is relative. I’ve been here 30 years so I’ve lost some of it.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:44 pm

He’s a federal agent!

Same thing Leggs.I bet he knows who to call and get an answer quick if he need sme done.
I aint talking about immigration stuff on here anymore. :lol:
Phuckk it!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

ARed, omg, did you ever go to the Cali picnic? They have it every year and omg I heard it was ghetto! I was like “probably dudes from Northern Cali” lol. This dude told me it was really hood and dudes was throwing up gang signs and crip-walkin lol. I was like omg totally awesome even though I know how to crip-walk, I don’t think I would do it out here in the park lol

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

@Cee…that post is too easy for me to step in and crack a joke on!

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

Leggs, u know i am pow pow too,but i dnt talk about it.

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

…now waiting for Ared to blurt out —-> “Call da poe-poe h0e!” LOL

Leggs – I was looking at dude sideways the day after he asked if I had warrants (on here) just because I refuse to have a Facebook, Myspace…or any page that tracks my whereabouts! LOL Then it all came clear…I should have answer: Ohhh, maybe one or two…but it wasn’t me, it was my friend Obamaneeesha stealing clothes from Dillard’s at University Mall. Lmao

Bonafide – Dude, I gotcha 4:21! :)

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

She eventually reached in her purse and pulled out her badge and dude and his stuff got seized.

We seize bootleg stuff on my job too. Mainly at sporting events. It’s fun and we get to travel to a lot of fun games! :lol:

My friends call me the narc. I told them I’ll leave their bootleg movies and CDs alone. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

@Page 1908, stop it with the “Omg” and “I was like”…too funny (nothing Valley there) :lol:

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
4:47 pm

Bob Sugar: It’s not show friends. It’s show *business*.

Yep – I’ll be watching this movie over the next few games between basketball games and work and the rest of my life.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:48 pm

LOL Leggs, sorry I can’t help it. You know I always say that! Come on now lol

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:49 pm

Cee

Ya’ll left me all hype wanting more quotes! lol

Here’s quote for you and its from my favorite movie of all time.

“I’d love to sit and chat, but I’m having an old friend for dinner”.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:49 pm

I know you ain’t shy with me! Post it Leggs.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:50 pm

LOL. I do say “OMG” “dude” and “like” a lot.

Page – I don’t think I’ve heard of this Cali picnic. For good reason. The most I’ve done is the Kappa Beach Party and the Omega Fest. :lol:

Jamoca – Call the po po h.oe! :lol: :lol: :lol:

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
4:50 pm

W8 That would make a great TV show. Snitchin Strippers using the cheaters format we could have ratings gold.

Our accomplice Butterfly Cheese has lured Jaquan to the house and is now pressing him for info.

Butterfly Cheese – So wen da last time you seent Boobie nem.
Jaquan – Shid shawty I seent dem fools da otha day
Butterfly Cheese – Well shoot you get them over heah and i brang some of my Girls and we can pawdy.
Jaquan – Shid shawty BET.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:50 pm

@Melo, I know who you are!

@Page, yes I know you always say that!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
4:50 pm

Melo – U scared now?LOL!!

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:51 pm

Barcelona 2, Man U big O

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:52 pm

@PG- LOL, People wont leave well enough alone. I think I was on the phone with My.02 or Jamoca when these fools tried to set me up for a carjacking last week..I saw what the were doing and let them proceed and then snapped on their azz at the last moment..When in NY I have people trying to sell me weed all of the time..lol ..Now my family they dont respect it at all…they just blaze right on up in front of me..lmao

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:53 pm

Leggs

It is relative and also it depends on surroundings too.

My bestfriend moved here from Jamaica when he was 12. (He has some cool pictures of birthday parties with the Marleys. There is one with Rita Marley that is so cool)

When I met him, I didn’t hear the accent and didn’t believe him at first. But when he gets around other Jamaicans that accent is fierce.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:54 pm

@DK-LMAO, the economy has made my job a whole lot easier..people want money

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:54 pm

W8

I could tell that she didn’t want to call in the local FBI (after all she was on vacation), but she did.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:56 pm

@Ared- you’ve been to Kappa events in the “A”? I am usually at all of those..hmmm

mytw♥tatas

May 27th, 2009
4:57 pm

JAMOCA My Zulu cosigning you prior to dissecting logic, injecting undertones & purposefully misunderestanding? Hmmph we gon have to chat about that. Must also review all of the Filthy, Infamous ones deposits before accepting donation in collection plate… then again, might be enough to keep us from goin back to scrippin ;)

SEXXYLEGGS Did he take a bite outta that leg you been danglin’ yet?

W8’s a beat biter, dope style taker. Tell ya to ya face you ain’t nuthin but a faker!!!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:58 pm

you’ve been to Kappa events in the “A”? I am usually at all of those..hmmm

W8 – I was talking about the Cali events but um, yeah, I’m at quite a few of them out here too. They’re my homies and my ex is one.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:58 pm

@PG- it has to be something way aggravating for me to call it in. I’m in fugitive recovery and SWAT so Im not a normal agent although I have those powers.usually we get involved when bullets are going to be exchanged..so I really do try to keep it moving unless they are just plain stupid.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:59 pm

I went to a few Kappa events, too *wink*

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:59 pm

@my.02- there goes your whole virginal saint routine

Drink Booty Sweat!!

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
5:00 pm

Good night everyone!

@DK ~ You were very smooth!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:00 pm

Looks @Page and Ared…. and decides to remain anon on this blog

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
5:01 pm

I don’t care what folks think.

I looove a man with a southern drawl! MY BABY has is times when when he turns it on!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
5:01 pm

Tatas – This quote is for you —-> This is beeeauuutiful…what is it, velvet?! (Coming to America) Lol

Ared – LMAO!..I hear that phrase so much down here, it’s a shame!…and I hate, I hate, I hate to hear —-> mens and womens!!! Ya’ dumb bish…it’s already plural, drop the dayum “s”!!! …Oh, I sorry ya’ll, had a moment there. LOL

Bonafide – I remember when that happened, that was me!…just crazy I tell ya.

DK – I’m dyin’ over here from your skit…not “pawdey”! BahahahHA!!

Tatas – Lmao!!! …and finish that song!…Git $$$…you gotta move ova…git $$$! LOL…But I love Pac’s version, sorry DIEHARD Pac fan…he’een dead ya’ll! Lol

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
5:02 pm

MELO….your papers and skraight bruh? :lol: INS looking for you?

W8..I attended one of your events on May 16th.

PAGE…see…now why an NY accent gotta be harsh? :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
5:03 pm

and decides to remain anon on this blog

You’ve already kinda given us enuf info for me to reasonably guess who you are.

See you June 13th. :lol:

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
5:05 pm

I think I already know who you are @ -W8.

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
5:05 pm

…and Tatas chick, don’t reject the $$ for donations, donations sounding like Mr. Clarence LOL Ya’ Zulu mayne, dun’ came to his senses!…now singing chuch songs —-> give and it will come back to youuuu, press down, shake it togetha and runnin’ ovvvvaaa… Between DK and Melo…we str8 <—that was for Zulu! LOL

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
5:05 pm

I tried, but wasn’t successful! :wink:

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:08 pm

@Page- You probably do..uh ohhhhh..lol

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:09 pm

@jamoca- “Bonafide – I remember when that happened, that was me!…just crazy I tell ya.”

Sorry about that..lol

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
5:09 pm

Your “secret” is safe with us W8. Us Cali girls are cool like that. LOL 8)

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
5:10 pm

LOL this may be the first time you have seen me post. I used to more a long time ago.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:11 pm

@Staceye- Hmm you also..i have to start going into my mental rolodex now

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
5:11 pm

LOL ARed..totally rad Cali girls lmao. *looking at -W8* lol

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:15 pm

@Page.Ared- AWKWARD!!!! (like Derwin says on “the game”)

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
5:16 pm

Bonafide – Sorry…Naw dude, that’s cool…don’t matter who as long as ya’ handle the business first —> your safety. No need to dig in that mental rollie for meh’ …potnah yee’oun know me! LOL

G’nite you all.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:16 pm

awkward awkward awkward

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
5:18 pm

LOL. W8, you sent a pic around to folks. I don’t think you really care about being “outted” :lol:

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
5:22 pm

LOL -W8, omg it’s not awkward. Who cares? Are you on FB?

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
5:25 pm

Shouldn’t be awkward, unless you perpeerrrtrating up in this camp!

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:27 pm

@Leggs- Im real and Im sure Page can vouch for that along with a few others on here that know me
@Page- yeah I am on FB
@Ared- yeah i just didnt see that coming though..lol

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
5:29 pm

It’s funny because you read how people type and express themselves then you find out you are in the same circles then it’s a big old party cuz you already know them..lol

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
5:29 pm

Ok, -W8…email me so you can send me a FR. I’m at pageantgirl_1908 on hoo hoo.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
5:33 pm

It’s funny because you read how people type and express themselves then you find out you are in the same circles then it’s a big old party cuz you already know them..lol

Yeah. I’ve been “outted” several times by people. Like Leggs said, I’m not fronting, so it’s easy to know which one is me. That’s why I laugh when people just think I’m making my life out to be a fairy tale. Nope, I kicks it and I have fun too. :lol: