Relationship A la Carte
Good Morning everyone! Today’s post is courtesy of our fabulous Raqi. If you are new to the MIA blog, Raqi is a married woman with a bambino on the way. Whenever she comments on relationships I perk up and take notes. She always provides insight about love and marriage without sugar coating things! Her topic today may strike a nerve for some of you but please read what she says carefully then weigh in with your comments!
In my early adult years I would hear of male-female relationships labeled with different terms. Traditional, Modern and Open. Those were considered the relationship combos as far as I am concerned. Today those terms still exist today but to some not in the same context. We have managed to construct relationships in a way that gives the benefit of one term sans the return responsibility.
The relationship a la carte. I, as most of you have read, am a traditionalist in the largest sense. I believe and practice the gender roles in my relationship. But that’s just me. What works for me does not necessarily work for others. That’s cool and that’s life. However, where I see the imbalance in some is with the picking and choosing of the relationship sectors. I find that many women want the benefits of having a traditional mate, yet they themselves do not care to take on the roles of the traditional woman.. There are men that desire the modernistic woman on one hand however he wants her to regard him as the head on the other.
It is all fair? Can we have it both ways? Can you enjoy the freedom of the open relationship and still get the devotion that comes with being monogamous?
I think not. But again that is just me. I read the other day where someone declared being a modern woman yet still wanted the protection of the days of old man.
Relationships are give and take. But can one give modern and expect traditional in return. Do you think we can pick and choose what part of the relationships we want to practice and it all work out in the end?
And not just that, how many of you buy into the together but separate ways of doing. Can a couple really be together yet live separate? Can you choose what part of the relationship you want to live as a couple and what parts you don’t?
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540 comments Add your comment
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:39 pm
Amazon – I am not going to allow you to demasculate me.. See where this is going?
Um…I’m not trying to. You said you were going to ride it til the wheels fall off, and I have no problem with that.
But I’m not going to apologize to you for saying the word is “emasculate” because it is, whether you chose to use it or not. Do you but don’t think I owe you anything.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:41 pm
Jerry Maguire…great movie. I can relate to Avery Bishop.
“I won’t let you hurt me Jerry! I’m too strong for you! Loser.”
SexyCool
May 27th, 2009
3:41 pm
Cemeeli – Last one – I promise….I LOVE BLACK PEEEEOOOPPPPLLLLEEEEE!!!!! LMAO
Oh – and my language pet peeve is when I hear people say a numerous amount of times. Whatdahell?
-W8©
May 27th, 2009
3:43 pm
Off Topic: I guess it’s rough in all industries..A stripper I know “Just sent me a text stating”Can you help me out with $20 to get groceries to feed my kids” thats deep on a bunch of levels when you can’t earn twenty in the strip club. (strippers are an excellent source when you are looking for people..thats my story and i am sticking to it)
Do I:
1.Make her dance for it?
2. Tell her hell no!
3. Make her dance for it?
4. Tell her no?
5. Give her $20 and send her to Demi?
Poppa Grande
May 27th, 2009
3:44 pm
Kimmie
Leggs – I can’t stand to here people say “shrimps
I’m with you on that one.
There was this girl in HS that used to say that she loved to eat cereals for breakfast. I tried to correct her, but she said that there was more than one in the bowl so it should be plural.
At the point, I remembered “if you argue will a fool, people have a hard time telling you apart., and left her alone. She was fine as all as all outdoors, but as dumb as her pet rock.
W8
Does Vince Young ever want to play again? Videos of him “makin’ it rain” recently showed up on the internet. That doesn’t look like good judgment from a guy that plays a position that requires good judgment.
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
3:45 pm
Amazon – You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.
Cemeeli
May 27th, 2009
3:45 pm
SexyCool – All i can think about now is the scene when Jerry Maquire (Cuba) was in the kitchen on the phone with Matt (Tom Cruise)….the shirt off and dancin’…leave it alone Cee…leave it alone!
btw – I loved “Bob Sugar’s” name, I dont’ know why….
Tazzee - it's my birthday week!
May 27th, 2009
3:46 pm
W8 – I vote for #5.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:46 pm
You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.
I’m sorry proper english poses some threat to you. Sounds like a personal problem to me.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:47 pm
W8 – I say ignore her til she’s woman enough to call you! Must have been a mass text.
Tazzee - it's my birthday week!
May 27th, 2009
3:48 pm
The misuse of ‘myself’ is widespread, but it still grates my nerves.
kimmie
May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm
You just keep protruding your femininity all over my masculation.
LOLOLOL!!! Now you sound like that militant dude in prison trying to sound all intelligent with made-up words and real words used out of context that Damon Wayans used to play on In Living Color!!
Beautiful
May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm
this blog . . . it is what it is! i do hate the name calling. it’s so uncalled for. and it does remind me of hs. what happens on here is the reason why schools get shot up by anger and depressed teens.
we really need to think before we call someone out their name. is it really necessary?
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:49 pm
There was this girl in HS that used to say that she loved to eat cereals for breakfast. I tried to correct her, but she said that there was more than one in the bowl so it should be plural.
Cemeeli
May 27th, 2009
3:50 pm
SexyCool Jerry Maquire “Jerry Maguire: I don’t like black people? I am Mister black people.”
You gotta love it.
Beautiful
May 27th, 2009
3:50 pm
correction:
what happens on here is similar to why schools get shot up by . . .
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm
Amazon – I’ve been befuddled by the english language for years..
Melo
May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm
W8© several scenarios u can do;
U a cop,right?? If true:
1)u can refuse her any money,maybe shell do crime instead,that helps to keep the crime stats up and u get to keep ur job since they will need u to fight crime(thats number 2 on ur list)
2)u make her dance for it but u devise ur own dance routine(wink),thats n#1
3)make her dance for it again(thats overnighta),thats number 3 on ur list
4) make her go to Demi wld be evil of u since hes been dry for a while,hell make her work real hard.
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
3:51 pm
Amazon – Great answer to the text though I couldnt have said better myself
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:53 pm
I’ve been befuddled by the english language for years..
DK – That’s fine man. Really.
Melo
May 27th, 2009
3:53 pm
She was fine as all as all outdoors, but as dumb as her pet rock.
I think she was taking it from her mama
Jamoca
May 27th, 2009
3:54 pm
Truth – AwwwMannnn!…what happened to “babygirl” ? …and what’s up witcha?! …and what’s this you say about Muslim puddies, I mean “broads” . OMG! LOL…do tell!
Didn’t Tatas and I tell you what to do, just to give you the feeling of being with a true sistah (…which happens to be one of your biggest preferences, but you couldn’t find you one within close range, worth havin’ to save yo’ crazy life…) …but you profess to the “neva-end” that you love ya’self somma us while in the same breath, you’ll never fully commit naa’an one of us ever again?!!! (now pouting!)
Oh, the irony and cleverness of that! I just love it!…bet you can’t wait to go over to Dubai!…just tell Nafeeza to get two tracks of weave sewn into her head and spread em! Lmao! Oh, Mr. Sandman….I bet you wish it was just that simple. Shoot, I’m surprised The Shiek hasn’t bust down ya’ door yet?
So what’s up with dude from Tamper (yes, Tamper..lol)/St.Pete area? Is he in Truth’s Training Corp on being a self made man….please say it ain’t so!
Melo – Stop it, stop it, stop it! Lol…you’re killin’ me with your 2:46!…consider today all on me, man!
Bonafide Brutha who made em W8 – I’d go with #’s 1, 3, and 5! LOL And yeah, tell Ms. Leggums it’s all Grade A!…hahahaaa …now I wan’ a Nathan’s hot dog w/ mustard, hold the ketchup! (yum yum yum)…dayum, I hate being a Vegan eatin’ all deez betch-tables Lmao!
Now since Ms. Cee won’t take roll call??? I’ll do it! (…before you know it, she’ll have me running the ville’s cafe!
Dushawn I need you to bless the blog with your presence and your “beloved” yet crazy stories, from Du’s Classified Chronicles!
Foots I need you to bless the ville with your thoughts as well.
Blue Miss reading your snide comments too! Lol…plus ya’ lingo can assist in irritating some of the lurkers on here that our fresh out of night school themselves.
2CPTG Mayne, dayum!…just peek ya’ self in n’ say wuzzup! ..kiss my azz witcha tongue out!…sumthin!!! Miss reading your version of real-ism!
Main_Lurker Gurrrl, quit playin’!…and getcho’ butt out here. Miss your brashy yet honest replies…however, so classy at the same time! Cuh’mooonnnnn naah!
and WillieD ‘dis here’s yo’ ish (today’s topic)…where you @?!!! lol
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:54 pm
Amazon – Great answer to the text though I couldnt have said better myself
W8 –
Can’t knock her hustle tho. If 5 people say “yes” she just made a $100 in 5 minutes.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm
Whoops, meant DK in my 3:54.
Melo
May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm
what happens on here is similar to why schools get shot up by
which private school did u go to Beautiful??
SexyCool
May 27th, 2009
3:55 pm
Cemeeli – GIIIIRRRLLLL…you gone have me watching the movie tonight.
Ray: “Do you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”
-W8©
May 27th, 2009
3:57 pm
@PG- Nooo not Vince Young..(going to google now)
@Ared-lol I pay her for information..I wont give her any money because if I start that trend she will think she can get over
@Beautiful- you want to shot the blog up?
@Melo- I’m not a “cop” per se..man if i touched one of those tricks they would try and hem me up so quick..I would lose everything…not worth it…lol
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
3:58 pm
Its always the beautiful ones that talk about shooting up people, cutting off your johnson and putting it in a pickle jar.. Beautiful I am afraid right now.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
4:01 pm
Yeah, I could definitely see Angie snapping and boiling a few bunnies.
Poppa Grande
May 27th, 2009
4:01 pm
W8
Try tmz
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm
I wont give her any money because if I start that trend she will think she can get over
W8 – Such the suspect. She could really need help.
It’s just $20.
SexyCool
May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm
Just read the headline about the NBA rescending the tech called on DHoward last night. When they called it, I was 38 hot. How could you let Smith holler about his ‘mpchkng house’ and penalize DHoward for a natural reaction?
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
4:02 pm
Amazon – And your friends don’t understand your choice of man
They speak proper while my speech is from a gargabe can
But regardless, you shouldn’t have to be so raw
I’m lookin’ at the front door
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
4:03 pm
DK –
Shut up dude.
Poppa Grande
May 27th, 2009
4:04 pm
Cee
Here’s a Jerry Maguire quote for ya:
“A real man wouldn’t shoplift the pootie from a single mom.”
Leggs
May 27th, 2009
4:04 pm
@W-8, just give her $30 and call it a day. She will be very appreciative. Pay it forward, pay it forward!
Leggs
May 27th, 2009
4:06 pm
I say $30 because she probably needs more and felt $20 was safe.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 27th, 2009
4:06 pm
SASSY…all I can do is drool when I see Dwight Howard! Dat man is SEXINESS on a platter! It’s hard to watch the game with all dat finess running up and down the court! He makes me think dirty things!
My cup ruuneth over..he maketh me lie down in green pastures…UGH! (Clean up on aisle 4)! 
LORD Velonese….is that what cake is for…to eat it?
Pay me no mind..I’m just being a smart a$$! 
W8…You didn’t lay down with this stripper to make those kids…so they are not your responsibilty! I go with telling her hell no! It may be only $20…but she is probably asking plenty of other dudes for only $20…hell after 5 you got $100.
BEAUTIFUL…I now you’re no bunny boiler!
Melo
May 27th, 2009
4:07 pm
Its always the beautiful ones that talk about shooting up people
By beautiful ones u mean Dumb ones,DK??
I know right!
A beautiful moment/comment,MIA blog style is a dumb moment/comment.
Angie got that on lock
Cemeeli
May 27th, 2009
4:07 pm
SexyCool
Ray is soooo cuthe <–(my way of saying “cute”). I bet hes a grown man, or a teenager now!
(Cuba) Rod: “Who’s our muthsucka Jerry?”
I need to find that movie, if i have it!
Oh! And I got Cuba and Tom Cruise stage movie names mixed up on that other post. sorry
Poppa Grande
May 27th, 2009
4:08 pm
SexyCool
Just read the headline about the NBA rescending the tech called on DHoward last night. When they called it, I was 38 hot. How could you let Smith holler about his ‘mpchkng house’ and penalize DHoward for a natural reaction?
I am glad that they rescinded that tech. I’ve seen LeBron dunk, land and then flex the biceps. That is more taunting than what Howard did last night. With that said, he still needs to be careful. 7 techs equal a one game suspension. He has five now that last nights was rescinded.
THE INFAMOUS DK
May 27th, 2009
4:10 pm
W8 – Have her come over and dust for you.. Slowly.. With heels on.
No seriously if you have it to lend and not expect to get it back then do it. If not then dont.
AmazonRed™
May 27th, 2009
4:10 pm
He makes me think dirty things! My cup ruuneth over..he maketh me lie down in green pastures…UGH! (Clean up on aisle 4)!
Staceye!
Those shoulders do make me think naughty things, tho.
Best ones since David Robinson’s and a better face to go with it too.
I was late to work this morning and I told new boo I blamed it on him. He responded “blame it on Dwight Howard’s shoulders.” LMAO.
Cemeeli
May 27th, 2009
4:11 pm
“A real man wouldn’t shoplift the pootie from a single mom.”
PoppaG – Who paired Tom and Cuba together and wrote that did a great movie!
This is Rod (Cuba) to (Tom) Jerry Maquire – “Anyone else would have left you by now, but I’m sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you’re gonna show me the money.”
^^^ Hay diddididd!
SexyCool
May 27th, 2009
4:12 pm
Pg – thanks for correcting my spelling on rescind.
Beautiful
May 27th, 2009
4:12 pm
y’all know what i mean. lol. i’m teaching my son now not to make fun of ppl. it’s just not nice and also just plain dangerous.
Page1908
May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm
lol @ ARed and DK
Jamoca
May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm
Bonafide – You may even want to put it on paper too (and yes, for $20. Like I tell my daughter, true “hunger” does not discriminate…PB & J tastes like pizza if you’re hungry enough…LOL)…highlighting that this is a one time thing; given your profession versus hers, there would be no confusion as to what the “hand up” was for, just in case she returns in the future!…CYA baby! CYA! LOL
Page1908
May 27th, 2009
4:13 pm
lol @ Ared and DK.
-W8©
May 27th, 2009
4:14 pm
@PG- I peeped on TMZ, thanks
@Everyone else about this stripper..She is a Stripper she can go do 2 lapdances and get $20, what do i look like giving a stripper money? I pay here for information, if she can give me a lead on lil ray ray and dem I can help her out if not..she’s gets no love..a stripped textn for $20 bucks is showing me signs that she may have a “habit”