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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Relationship A la Carte

Good Morning everyone! Today’s post is courtesy of our fabulous Raqi. If you are new to the MIA blog, Raqi is a married woman with a bambino on the way. Whenever she comments on relationships I perk up and take notes. She always provides insight about love and marriage without sugar coating things! Her topic today may strike a nerve for some of you but please read what she says carefully then weigh in with your comments!

In my early adult years I would hear of male-female relationships labeled with different terms. Traditional, Modern and Open. Those were considered the relationship combos as far as I am concerned. Today those terms still exist today but to some not in the same context. We have managed to construct relationships in a way that gives the benefit of one term sans the return responsibility.

The relationship a la carte. I, as most of you have read, am a traditionalist in the largest sense. I believe and practice the gender roles in my relationship. But that’s just me. What works for me does not necessarily work for others. That’s cool and that’s life. However, where I see the imbalance in some is with the picking and choosing of the relationship sectors. I find that many women want the benefits of having a traditional mate, yet they themselves do not care to take on the roles of the traditional woman.. There are men that desire the modernistic woman on one hand however he wants her to regard him as the head on the other.

It is all fair? Can we have it both ways? Can you enjoy the freedom of the open relationship and still get the devotion that comes with being monogamous?

I think not. But again that is just me. I read the other day where someone declared being a modern woman yet still wanted the protection of the days of old man.

Relationships are give and take. But can one give modern and expect traditional in return. Do you think we can pick and choose what part of the relationships we want to practice and it all work out in the end?

And not just that, how many of you buy into the together but separate ways of doing. Can a couple really be together yet live separate? Can you choose what part of the relationship you want to live as a couple and what parts you don’t?

540 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:15 pm

Page1908 – Where have you been heffa!

Now, don’t shoot me up for me calling you a name. :lol: :roll: :lol:

Lioness- Going to the Pool

May 27th, 2009
4:15 pm

29 year old with 21 kids

On paper, he has 20 possibly 21 children. With a minimum wage job, he can’t afford to support them all.

What is the state to do?

Desmond Hatchett, 29, told WVLT he wasn’t out to set a record, though he certainly holds it in Knox County Juvenile Child Support Court.Hatchett’s children range in age from newborn 11.There are at least 11 mothers; probably several more.

Constitutionally, there is nothing the state can do to limit him from having more.”I had four kids in the same year. Twice.” Desmond Hatchett told Volunteer TV.On Friday, his name appeared on the docket 11 times; Representing about 15 of his 21 children.

“The children can’t be supported all by Desmond, so the state of Tennessee has had to step in,” Hatchett’s attorney Keith Pope said.

SMDH!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

Or you could ask her if she would like to make some “honest money”. And provide her with someone that could use some help around their house, running errands, babysitting…heyal landscaping LOL But honestly, I’m telling you, if she really needs it, and its for her children, she won’t turn it down…esp being that it’s honest pay. Just a thought.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

@Staceye- Yup those kids are not my issue
@Jamoca- pbj taste like pizza..whaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

W8…I forgot you were in law enforcement. Yeah that does sound like a habit which is sad because she does have kids.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:17 pm

LOL ARed…girl, I have been here working. I also went back home for 8 days in March, but i can’t keep up on here anymore lol.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:18 pm

Show me the mooooneeeeeey!

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:19 pm

Oh they did reverse the tech-foul call on Howard? Goood!!

I’m glad.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:21 pm

@Jamoca- It is not that deep I told her no..her issues are not my own..she is just an informant to me I dont care about her personal issues at all, everytime we pass money along or information we have to document it..if I give her money that could put everything i’ve done with information i’d gathered from her in doubt…see the other side of that is that should could be testing me for someone that we have already caught..just to cause doubt…you have to navigate through this stuff.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:21 pm

I also went back home for 8 days in March,

:( Home… I know you enjoyed it! Glad you’re back.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:22 pm

If i were a proffnal athlete, i wldnt get married.
They all end up divorced,miserable and angry and broke anyway,many on druggs.
Better solo and save ur money.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:26 pm

Yeah, I don’t go back again until August…bummer but a few of my friends have already visited me here. My parents will be here in July!! 18 months in Atlanta and I still have my Cali accent lol….ask Leggs and Staceye lol.

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 27th, 2009
4:26 pm

Snitchin Strippers!! Dang.. WTH!

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
4:27 pm

W8 – I would not touch that with a 10-foot pole. Act like you didn’t even get the email.

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:29 pm

18 months in Atlanta and I still have my Cali accent lol

I left Cali in 2001 for good and I certainly still have mine. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

Anyone ever done the Viking Cooking School? Like the 12 week series and not just a class here and there?

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

Bonafide – Well…you asked, didn’t you?! Lol I personally don’t give money to folks just because they say that they’re hungry. My response is usually, “I’ll buy you something, if you’re really hungry”. Of course, I know, a lot of them (on the streets) have habits. Is it my problem? No. But it checks them everytime and gives me my answer on whether or not, the hunger was ever really there.

Heyal, I had one woman at the gas station ask me for “just change”. I said what for? She’s like: “I’m so thirsty”…I proceed to go back in the store…just for her to stop me and say, “ohhh, you can just give it to me…I’ll get it later…” Yeah right! I told her: You’re not really that thirsty then, b/c I ain’t givin’ you one read cent for you to just go and smoke it! Lol… Trust me, I know what it is.

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:30 pm

@Kimmie- I have to report it so that it doesnt come back on me

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

W8, so have u figured out which bloggers are into crime yet on here?? :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

Oh snap, I forgot about your profession. Your 4:21 makes sense!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:31 pm

You do? Wow, that’s good! My friend on facebook told me i talk like a “valley girl” lol. i was like oh ok.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:32 pm

U know Kimmie has her side cake bizz but no Fulton bizz licence to show 4 it :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:32 pm

Stop trying to throw ppl under the bus Melo! Here take this {{{forward pluck}}}!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:33 pm

i talk like a “valley girl” lol. i was like oh ok.

Page – That’s what I’m told too. They just call it that by default! :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:34 pm

Here I am thinking from the heart when in reality and we got law enforcement, informants, bookkeeping, making sure nothing is commingled. Ok, I gotcha!

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:35 pm

Melo, I betnot find out you’re the blog informant, just for a little side hustle! LOL

-W8©

May 27th, 2009
4:35 pm

@Melo- Lol I turn my head alot, besides I’m not local or state I chase Federal fugitives who are looking at around 20 years plus in the “bootyhouse”

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 27th, 2009
4:36 pm

PAGE & ARED…is it safe to say Cali girls are Valley girls? :lol: Hey I have been here 5 years and people say I sound like I am fresh off the plane for the very first time in ATL. You never lose you hone grown accent.

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:37 pm

Leggs

Oh snap, I forgot about your profession

He wants you to forget, get comfortable.

Next, he will ask to meet you.The next thing you know is that you are meeting Chris Hanson with a TV crew.

kimmie

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

W8 – Gotcha – CYA for work. I would act “blank” to her though!

Melo – Hush, now that was our little secret! Can’t tell you nothin – but hey, at least I don’t have to pay you a cut anymore!!! Insert foot into mouth!!LOL!!!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

Staceye, I don’t know lol. Yeah, you do sound kinda rough with that NY accent. To me, it’s more noticeable when I talk to you on the phone lol.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

SexyCool and PoppaG – Ya’ll left me all hype wanting more quotes! lol

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:38 pm

I see some of uall are gonna lurk henceforth.
We got the pow pow in dis house. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:39 pm

I won’t forget going forward!

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:40 pm

is it safe to say Cali girls are Valley girls?

Staceye – No it is not! Besides, the N. Cali and S. Cali folks sound different. Think Snoop Dogg vs. E-40. :lol:

But yeah, I bet you are so NY with it. Leggs still sounds NY to me. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:40 pm

He’s not the po po. He’s a federal agent!

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:41 pm

W8

Melo- Lol I turn my head alot

I have a friend that is a FBI agent in Los Angeles. She was in town recently with her soon to be husband. We all met for lunch. Outside the spot there was a guy like Hustleman (Tracy Morgan) from Martin. Dude was trying to sell us bootleg copies of Star Trek (this was before it was released). She tried to look the other way, but dude wouldn’t leave her alone. She eventually reached in her purse and pulled out her badge and dude and his stuff got seized.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:42 pm

I’m so silly i have these mints that are called “GREAT BITE” remsemblance of a shark bite…. And so they have a lil small bite/indention in them, but instead of putting them in my mouth and eat em, i nibble inside the already bitten part until the mint is gone.

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:43 pm

And to my mother, I sound country. Staceye’s accent is deeper than mine. Everything is relative. I’ve been here 30 years so I’ve lost some of it.

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:44 pm

He’s a federal agent!

Same thing Leggs.I bet he knows who to call and get an answer quick if he need sme done.
I aint talking about immigration stuff on here anymore. :lol:
Phuckk it!

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

ARed, omg, did you ever go to the Cali picnic? They have it every year and omg I heard it was ghetto! I was like “probably dudes from Northern Cali” lol. This dude told me it was really hood and dudes was throwing up gang signs and crip-walkin lol. I was like omg totally awesome even though I know how to crip-walk, I don’t think I would do it out here in the park lol

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

@Cee…that post is too easy for me to step in and crack a joke on!

Melo

May 27th, 2009
4:45 pm

Leggs, u know i am pow pow too,but i dnt talk about it.

Jamoca

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

…now waiting for Ared to blurt out —-> “Call da poe-poe h0e!” LOL

Leggs – I was looking at dude sideways the day after he asked if I had warrants (on here) just because I refuse to have a Facebook, Myspace…or any page that tracks my whereabouts! LOL Then it all came clear…I should have answer: Ohhh, maybe one or two…but it wasn’t me, it was my friend Obamaneeesha stealing clothes from Dillard’s at University Mall. Lmao

Bonafide – Dude, I gotcha 4:21! :)

AmazonRed™

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

She eventually reached in her purse and pulled out her badge and dude and his stuff got seized.

We seize bootleg stuff on my job too. Mainly at sporting events. It’s fun and we get to travel to a lot of fun games! :lol:

My friends call me the narc. I told them I’ll leave their bootleg movies and CDs alone. :lol:

Leggs

May 27th, 2009
4:46 pm

@Page 1908, stop it with the “Omg” and “I was like”…too funny (nothing Valley there) :lol:

SexyCool

May 27th, 2009
4:47 pm

Bob Sugar: It’s not show friends. It’s show *business*.

Yep – I’ll be watching this movie over the next few games between basketball games and work and the rest of my life.

Page1908

May 27th, 2009
4:48 pm

LOL Leggs, sorry I can’t help it. You know I always say that! Come on now lol

Poppa Grande

May 27th, 2009
4:49 pm

Cee

Ya’ll left me all hype wanting more quotes! lol

Here’s quote for you and its from my favorite movie of all time.

“I’d love to sit and chat, but I’m having an old friend for dinner”.

Cemeeli

May 27th, 2009
4:49 pm

I know you ain’t shy with me! Post it Leggs.