accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Save some for later

I hope you all had a safe and wonderful holiday! It is so important to remember all our military service personnel and honor those that gave their lives. What did you do this weekend?

Since there was a little rain this weekend, I made a point to watch Love Jones, one of my favorite films, again. Do you remember the scene in Love Jones when Nina and Darius returned home after a date and Nina decided to put him on the couch?  Although they had been intimate before, on their first date, it seemed really important to her that they not sleep together that night. She wanted to “save some for later.”

Ladies, have you ever done that before? What were your reasons? Ever had first date sex regret before? How did you handle it?

Guys, if the mood has been set and things are progressing, what do you think when the woman puts the brakes on the evening? What about first dates, do you usually try to “seal the deal” on the first date? If so, why do you think it’s a good time? Is it about comfort level, convenience, or something else?

383 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

May 26th, 2009
8:41 am

I can only recall one first date which I “put the brakes on” I was trying to turn over a new leaf, and I could tell that she wanted to go for it… but I decided that for some reason I would try to take it slow and that we might have a more solid foundation if we waited… The first date went extremely well, in fact that probably stands as my best first date ever… but after not sealing the deal our interactions were not the same as they were on the first date, I am not sure if she felt that I was not interested or what… but N T ways. I won’t make that mistake again… LoL

I personally think that you should follow your feelings, I mean if you are holding out for no other reason that its the first date then you are punishing yourself as well. You can’t try to predict the future, so you might as well be as real as possible in the present because your and his true colors will show up eventually. In a way its like you are putting up that “first date front” if you stop the action and you know you want to go there.

I find it humorous when a chick tells one dude that she does not want to go there on the first date, but I know of other cases when she does give it up on the first date. I guess she felt she had no future with the dude she gave it up to on the first date… oh well I had no visions of a future with her either ( …oops did I say that out loud?)

Gary

May 26th, 2009
8:47 am

Demi, I am neither alone, nor sad. Thank you, though, for your “concern.”

MissQC

May 26th, 2009
8:54 am

Morning Bloggers….my 1st date sex was the “best sex” i’ve ever had…we had no regrets at all..althogh the relationship ended we’re still friends “with benefits” if needed…HAVE A GREAT DAY ALL :)

http://www.blackthen.com

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
9:14 am

Morning all! I hope we’ve all recovered from our weekends. :D

While it hasn’t been first date sex, I have had sex with a guy where I felt it was too soon. I often try to put the breaks on, because I want more time to get to know the guy without sex clouding things. However, the rational part of me says that we’ve already gone there, so be a big girl and deal with it. If the relationship fizzles because we went to far to soon, learn from it and do better next time.

Raqi...25 Days to ML

May 26th, 2009
9:14 am

Good Morning.

Regret??? No. Indecisiveness??? Yes It just kinda happened and I really didn’t know where it would lead. After a few more dates I did need to make sure what we were doing was not based strictly on the physical so I did slow it down a bit. He continued to come around. He kept calling. We continued to spend time out and about together.

It was a promising relationship. Fortunately.

Kym

May 26th, 2009
9:16 am

Good Morning All,

I have to say I have had first date remorse. Not because it was the first date..but because the sex was unteresting with that person. But like QC I have had sex with someone date one and we have remained friends for years. Trying to avoid the benefit part for other reasons.

@PoppaG I like Obama’s Supreme Court pick..now if they could just fill some of those other federal seats..so the wheels of justice could move a tad bit faster.

Marco

May 26th, 2009
9:19 am

I’ve had drunken one-night stands with stranger, one of which turned into a short-term dating relationship and a long-term friendship. On a couple of other occasions the girl and I had sex on the first “official” date following group outings, lunches, etc. But those couple of times, we knew we were into each other and spent time together before formally dating.

Kym

May 26th, 2009
9:33 am

Great Wisey!! Now thanks to this topic I will be hearing Jeffrey Osbourne all day.

Last night I love a stranger..

Raqi...25 Days to ML

May 26th, 2009
9:33 am

What did you do this weekend?
Since our plans were to really do nothing we pretty much did nothing. We put some chicken breast on the grill and some kabobs. We went to see Star Trek which was pretty good. Mi marido didn’t care for it too much being a former early age Star Trek lover. We had sort of a lazy weekend which was cool. I baked a cake on Saturday and made some fresh waffles on Sunday, both using the fresh strawberries from my garden.

Dan

May 26th, 2009
9:34 am

Morning,

I will only say this: first date, 30th date if the two of you are compatible outside the bedroom (or kitchen)j/k, then when passion or lust is expressed is not really an issue.

Sometimes “study long, study wrong” is a phrase that proves to be so true.

@Kym

He has a fight on his hands with Sotomayor. It’s the political test, not her rulings, that Obama’s got to pass.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 26th, 2009
9:37 am

Morning All!

I’m dragging this morning…

Yes, I’ve had early sex regrets and like AmRed – I wanted to stop but then had the ‘we’ve already done it so deal with it’ conversation with myself. I’ve tried to put the brakes on a relationship when I’ve felt it was moving too fast. Or I’ve tried to put on the brakes when I felt I was neglecting other areas of my life for the relationship.

MissQC

May 26th, 2009
9:37 am

Kym i love that song…..now i’m trying to find it online :)

Kym

May 26th, 2009
9:41 am

@Dan..

He won’t have to fight. It was a Republican who first appointed her..and a Dem who moved her up. She is a pretty safe bet..and her confirmation should be a breeze.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 26th, 2009
9:44 am

Raqi – that’s the first time I heard of someone that didn’t like Star Trek.

This past weekend was busy for me and concluded with a VERY lazy day yesterday.

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
9:48 am

This weekend was jam packed for me. We had a family reunion and everyone was able to come and we reminised on old times. My sister met new boo and I talked to my family about our difference in religions and no one had a problem with it at all. We did discuss some challenges but as they pointed out, every relationship has them. Then my grandparents who have over 60 years of marriage experience left me with some jewels of wisdom.

Then I flew home and ate my weight in food at my friends bbq and killed all the guys on the spades table. Had the Lakers won, the weekend would have gotten no better.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 26th, 2009
9:50 am

AmRed – you took the new boo to the family reunion? Please share the jewels of wisdom with the rest of us.

Oh and I’m bummed about Cleveland losing too :(

abc

May 26th, 2009
9:52 am

‘Save some for later’ seems like a pretty juvenile and bogus premise, but if someone doesn’t want to, they don’t want to and that’s that. It’s relatively rare that I’ve been in a position of being propositioned and not really feeling like it. In those cases, I just said, “I don’t feel like it”. In a few cases I thought it best not to introduce sex into the relationship yet, at which point I just said so. I know that seems counter-intuitive to chicks, but really, just say what you really think, it’ll be okay — it’ll be better than what you get from the subterfuge.

Cemeeli

May 26th, 2009
9:54 am

Morning!

What did i do this w/e? Well i was a movie bumb as well WiseDiva. I got to watch a couple of new ones i purchased i hadn’t watched yet. “Mall Cop” was funny, “Bedtime Stories” is a good family movie, and i also watched “Cadillac Records”, again, AND again, Beyonce didn’t do nothing for me! Walter, is the star of the movie for me, that dude is crazy! Didn’t get to “Slum Dog” or “Taken” on my movie watching, so i’ll catch those on next R&R. Saturday I attended a BBQ, and entertained with RockBand on the Wii (which was fun). Sunday was “Deadliest Catch” on Discovery Channel – Memorial Day marathon, so i watch those episodes most of the day Sunday.

The best part of my weekend…well there were 2 big hitters….1. After getting my hair fixed, then getting it sweated, and rained on, it’s still holding it’s style today. And yesturday i didn’t have to come in to work, as i had thought, nor did i have to cook.

Cemeeli

May 26th, 2009
9:54 am

Early sexual encounters = Yes.

Regrets = NO!

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
9:56 am

you took the new boo to the family reunion?

Tazzee – No. We both went out of town this weekend and ironically booked our flights for the same time. So as my sister and I were heading to our gate, stopped to meet up with him at his. So he and my sister talked for a while and we snapped some pics. My sister loved him so when we got to our destination she told everyone about him within 10 minutes of our arrival and then everyone wanted to get details and see pics and plan the wedding ( :roll: ). This is why I usually wait to tell my family about guys I’m dating. They get waaaay too excited. :lol:

Raqi...25 Days to ML

May 26th, 2009
9:58 am

Tazzee he said because he was so into Star Trek as a young kid he did not like the way they did the movie. He feels like Capt. Kirk was sorta wimpy in the movie. He kept getting his behind whipped. LOL

All in all it made for a good late afternoon outing on yesterday. After the movie we got some ice cream and then went home and settled in for the rest of the evening.

Kym

May 26th, 2009
9:59 am

How I spent my Memorial Day Holiday–
Sleep..Sleep..Read..Eat..Sleep…Eat and More Sleep. Summer classes start tonight..so it is back to the grind.

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
9:59 am

and entertained with RockBand on the Wii (which was fun).

Cee – I agree. It’s a blast! I like Guitar Hero too.

Poppa Grande

May 26th, 2009
10:01 am

QC – the song is named “Stranger” and it is by LTD (a group that Osborne was a member)

Kym – That is a good pick. There will be a fight just because Obama picked her, but I believe that she will pass. That is just politics. The dems are questioning his change of tune the Gitmo manner, so it won’t be a rubber stamp. Gitmo will probably play a role in this thing. Her views on Gitmo. IMO it will end up in court at some point.
As far as the other federal judges, that is where Obama may lose. It will be a payback for all of the Judges that were turned away during Bush’s presidency.

abc

May 26th, 2009
10:04 am

I’d say that barring any scandalous disclosures, Sotomayor should be a shoo-in. She’s quite centrist, replacing a very liberal justice, has been nominated to positions she’s held by George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. Republicans should be happy with the choice.

I like her because she busted the MLB strike in 1994. You can’t get much more inclusive than to nominate a Puerto Rican chick from the Bronx — she was an excellent scholar at Princeton and Yale, and would be an excellent role model for Hispanic youth.

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 26th, 2009
10:05 am

Raqi – gotcha. That’s one movie that I’m planning to see on the big screen.

AmRed – my family used to be like that, but I guess they got tired of getting their hopes up :lol:

Dan

May 26th, 2009
10:06 am

@PG

I kinda looked at Bush’s federal court appointments, those that weren’t recess appointments, combined with those that never got confirmed, leaves President Obama with a lot of room to work with. But in the end, the Republican have little to no power (that Harry Reid doesn’t give them – I do not like that dude) to block many of his appointments to the bench. The one appointment I’m waiting on is the #2 in the Justice Department that wrote articles about Gitmo.

@Kym

Like, PG said, it’s the political fight the President is going to have to win. The “chattering class” and cable television fight.

-W8©

May 26th, 2009
10:09 am

Hmmm, going for the Olympic Gold on the first date…If we are feeling it then we flow if not we don’t…but I screen the hell out of people before I even take them out. I have no problem with it though, just let’s me know we both know what we want..but then again I’m not a random dater.

..What did I do this weekend. Had a ball in Atlanta with my family, all my uncles, brothers and I brought our individual grills down to my fathers and had a cook off and played our annual bball game.(More of a talk trash session) and spent sometime with my daughter(Best hugs and smiles IN THE WORLD). Later I got the call to go to New York, put the team on the perp and after that I just checked out and spent time with my family and bbq’d all day. I have at least 30 first cousins with kids in NY and we all got together yesterday..just a fun laid back time on the grill watching the kids play, family argue..only had one fistfight break out…LOL had fun Just sitting back watching the different “sets” in my family…I love them.

Oh and I learned how to smile again this weekend!!

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
10:09 am

AmRed – my family used to be like that, but I guess they got tired of getting their hopes up

Tazzee – I let them think I haven’t dated in years. With all my trips and socializing, they believe I do all of it solo (and do mostly). So to them, the fact that they even know about it has sent them into a tizzy. But the religion thing was weighing on me and they all have so much wisdom and experience, I felt the need to bring it up. I don’t even waste my breath getting their advice on the jokers. :lol:

kimmie

May 26th, 2009
10:12 am

Morning Gang.

Raqi,we went to see Star Trek yesterday too! We both loved it. I too like the old series best, but I thought they did a great job with the movie.

Saturday we took the kids to see Night at the Museum at Fork & Screen(old Backlot). Kids had a great time and thought it was the coolest movie theatre they’ve been to. Saturday we had a fairly big cookout. We played several games and showed a few movies in the newly finished basement theatre – Taken, Daddy’s Girls, My Bloody Valentine in 3D, 88 Minutes. We let the guys watch the Bloody Valentine mess. Anyway, we got started at 2 in afternoon and it was almost 2am when the last guests left.

I got a mini-laptop that is awesome. Clark Howard on CNN recommended them on his show the day after I got it, which made me feel good. One of my computer-geek friends that came to the bbq got it up & running for me.

On topic – All I say is as you grow up & mature, these things should become less of an issue. I’ve had some great 1st dates and been a little tempted once, but never went there on the 1st date. I did go there a bit soon in one instance – just thought we were rushing things a bit, but you live & learn. No regrets.

Cemeeli

May 26th, 2009
10:16 am

@ARed – I rocked on that RockBand mic! My scores were 96% & 100%. The guitar does have as special trick. :wink:

@ Kimmie – I see you were a movie bumb too! I think quite a few of us got in on movies this w/e. Plus, familytime is GREAT!

Tazzee - it's my birthday week!

May 26th, 2009
10:16 am

W8 – glad you learned how to smile again.

SexyCool

May 26th, 2009
10:16 am

Being the Love Jones fan that I am, I have to complete dialogue for the rest of that scene. When Nina says she wants to save some for later, Darious responds, “Naw, I want all mine now.”

I have a tendency to get caught up in that end of the conversation – wanting it all now. However, a thing I’ve learend is – Delayed gratification has its sacrifices. Instant gratification has its costs. In the end, the question is Do you make the sacrifice or pay the price?

Three Words Daily – Back to grinding.

Leggs

May 26th, 2009
10:16 am

Good morning everyone. Glad to see you guys survived the wkend. I had a great Saturday. Lil Leggs and I met M’Karyl for lunch. Sunday was told by a friend that there were people in town to plan h.s. reunion and would be having a meeting at Hairston’s @7:00. I’ve always wanted to go to my h.s. reunion so I met up there. They weren’t there. Called and said they were coming to party and will be there in an hour and a half. I finally met them. They all graduated (9 ladies at a table) after me and quite a few have not taken care of themselves. They asked me to join them, but told them I couldn’t sit a table w/9 women. Most laughed and others did not. Oh well, it was the truth. I met a lady at the bar and we got a table together. Converstion was great so I stayed. God puts people in your path for specific reasons. This lady was gorgeous, 42 and contemplating divorce. I couldn’t tell her what to do, but did convey the straws on my camel’s back that became too heavy for me to bear any longer. We talked for a long time. I danced and danced and danced. Lo and behold I was back home by 10:30 because I felt like a sardine in that place. People started complaining about how packed it was and that was my cue to take myself home where I always hope to be safe!

Oh, on the topic…yes, had first date sex and feel it’s somewhat crazy to pump the brakes afterwards. If a relationship is going to materialize it will. Holding out the sex in the hopes one does, is crazy. However, I can see stop (not holding out) sexing if this is all the person wants from you and you want more!

Cemeeli

May 26th, 2009
10:19 am

“I have at least 30 first cousins…only had one fistfight break out”

30 cusins and all the uncles and kids running around but only ONE fight! That’s a Ripley’s moment W8. Your fam pretty much sound like my folk. Sans the ONE fight…j/p. :) keep smiling.

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 26th, 2009
10:22 am

Welcome back to work folks.

Tazz/Raqi just finished watching Star Trek 5 minutes ago and it was pretty good. Spock knocking off Uhuru and /kirk and the green chick was a bit much but other than that i liked it. Adding old spock in was cool.

On topic: What is th topic? Oh, yeah. Sex is cool whenever you have it as long as both can cope with it.

Off topic: Ared, I feel like your seeing someone behind my back. Dont know why I get that uneasy feeling but I do. Btw, check your mail.

Kuwait Chronicles: Its hotter than hell here. Felt my first 120+ day and its like standing behind a jet engine. If the devil owned this place and hell he’d rent this place out and live in hell. Chronicles of Riddick. Every day is over 100.

Kym

May 26th, 2009
10:22 am

It will be interesting.. but I agree with Abc..the Republicans shouldn’t hold this one up.

I am thinking Obama..maybe just maybe can get two more picks. I am thinking Ginsberg and one other..who’s name escapes me right now.

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
10:26 am

Ared, I feel like your seeing someone behind my back. Dont know why I get that uneasy feeling but I do.

:lol:

Truth – The person I’m seeing is you! I just put my stories in a way to throw folks off the scent. Don’t tell the blog. LOL

Poppa Grande

May 26th, 2009
10:28 am

Kym -
Stevens is 90 years old, He was a Ford appointee

I’ve seen Ginsberg recently here in Atlanta. She claims that she doesn’t plan on stepping down, but…you never know.

Raqi...25 Days to ML

May 26th, 2009
10:29 am

Kimmie/Truth I liked the movie also. It was pretty exciting…but then again I was not an early Trekkie.

My dad and I used to watch Lost in Space on Sunday mornings. That was the extent of my SciFi childhood.

AmazonRed™

May 26th, 2009
10:31 am

@ARed – I rocked on that RockBand mic! My scores were 96% & 100%. The guitar does have as special trick.

Cee – What level? I’m pretty bad at RockBand. I don’t own it so I can’t practice. New boo already knows how to play guitar, so he gets on advance and kills it while I struggle at beginner. *sigh* No fair. :lol:

-W8©

May 26th, 2009
10:31 am

@Tazz-Happy Bday week and yup I think I am going to keep smiling…people always say I never ever smile and always look mean..lol

@Ce- ..from being around my family I have come to the realization that my bi-polar ways are okay and acceptable.LOL

Poppa Grande

May 26th, 2009
10:33 am

Star Wars is and always will be better than Star Trek.

I did like the Next Generation& Deep Space Nine but can’t stand the original Star Trek.

I remember Lost in Space, too, but hated the recent movie. (I think that it came out in the 90s, but that is more recent than the show)

Kym

May 26th, 2009
10:36 am

@PoppaG–THAT’S THE ONE!! I was thinking he was going to stepdown first.

kimmie

May 26th, 2009
10:37 am

Sister Cee – SO has all the latest Rock Band & Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero World Tour is fun. I can play guitar & bass okay. Stink at drums. I mostly do vocals now. I finally learned to ad lib to add more points. Once we were playing the Police/Sting song SOS. I was messing up big time, so when we played it again, I sang it with a heavy english accent!LOL!!! 100!!!

Leggs

May 26th, 2009
10:37 am

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 26th, 2009
10:38 am

Kym- you can’t make him step down.

It is like getting Joe Paterno (Penn State Football coach) to step down. Once he quits, you will be signing that death certificate.

Working keeps them alive.

Kym

May 26th, 2009
10:40 am

Star Wars Rule!! Trekies drool!! My son is a huge Star Wars Fan!! for 2 years he dressed as Yoda..for Halloween. And apparently he will need a lightsaber for the DragonCon parade.. that or a brown trenchcoat so he can be the Doctor.

-W8©

May 26th, 2009
10:41 am

@PG- I love Star Wars( I liked all of them except for the one when they had Anakin whining like a little sissy the whole movie), I’ve never watched a Star Trek episode/movie that I can recall..J.R. Smith went off last night didn’t he?

Poppa Grande

May 26th, 2009
10:41 am

I think that I play the wife’s wii more than my xbox 360. She guitar hero. It is pretty fun. I liked it enough that I got it on my cell phone. I can play while I wait for a train. Midday trains take forever on the East West line

Wii has downloadable games and I downloaded Super Mario Bros and Tecmo Bowl this weekend. That was my weekend other than reading for summer classes.