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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Cougar Duty

In an attempt at full disclosure (sort of) of my dating life, I have to confess that yours truly is dating a younger guy. He is a solid 9 years younger than I am! It started out pretty innocently because I had no idea just how young the guy was until our first date. He just looked my age and I was too distracted by his muscles to card him!

After polling my friends for their opinion (sometimes I live my life by committee), I received some interesting advice. It ranged from “give him a chance” to “why not play a little bit with him”, and not one person advised me against it.

An older woman and younger man relationship can bring it’s own unique set of dating issues. Not to mention how some folks think that younger men date older women because they have “Mommy issues”. What do you think? In your opinion what is the prognosis for such relationships?

Guys, have you ever dated an older woman? How much older was she? What attracted you to her? Do you have an age limit to how old you would date?

Ladies, am I completely insane for dating a 28 year old? Would you do it? How young would you go before it’s too creepy for your taste?

HAPPY FRIDAY!

326 comments Add your comment

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
12:04 pm

Speaking of graduation, i’m going to my first High School graduation party tomorrow at 5pm. Know it’s my co-workers son, but HE told her to ask me if i was comming…now does that say i’m young at heart and can “hang” with the youngins’? OR does that say he wants a fiya gift? Cause he know imma set him up!

He’s going to HBCU on a band scholarship and he has heard my tales many of times about what THIS summer’s band-boot-camp will be like. He’ll loose about 15-20 lbs in the first 6 weeks rehearsing the formation and routines alone.

Im partying with the youngin’s tommorrow…imma get my “stanky leg” oooon. but not for real…

:lol:

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:04 pm

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
12:06 pm

@Raqi, your absolutely correct. It all depends on where you’re at in life.

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
12:07 pm

@ALVIN
it’s all good babe! (wink)

Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)

May 22nd, 2009
12:10 pm

@ Tazzee… my tickets are ORCH CT, row HH

@ Cee- LOL about the debil is a lie…shoot I is the prof now

@ Beautiful- The only time I redirected a guy to one of my friends was when I knew the guy pretty well e.g. a guy at work trying to hit on me and I told him about one of my friends…usually a situation like of that matter. When I was younger and hanging out if one of my friends “called” out a guy (you know admired him from a distance) I always respected that and if the guy approached me I would say something like she was just talking about you and redirect him to my friend. I stopped doing that when a smooth brother told me, “ok, because I am trying to talk to YOU.”

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:11 pm

M’ I am going to be almost 60 when my daughter graduates high school.

LOL The other Mason and I were talking and he said that he will 72 when our daughter goes on her first date and 77 when she gets married.

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:11 pm

W8…back when I was a gym head at age 23…I dated this 52 years old aerobic instructor…Mayne, she was a workout in it’s self!!!

we still when out and ran 2miles after our sessions

I was on the slow side of things…she was hoggin me to herself, LOL

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:14 pm

(I stopped doing that when a smooth brother told me, “ok, because I am trying to talk to YOU.”)

Professor…let me guess, you’re fly and your girls are alright…LOL

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:14 pm

Beautiful I am not against keeping a friend in mind to introduce to a guy that may be single. I just can’t do it if his initial interest is in me.

Now this is coming from a woman that is married to a man that was friends with her first husband. LOL

M'

May 22nd, 2009
12:17 pm

@Raqi

Being 60 when she GRADUATES and getting preggars past 60 ain’t the same…lol.

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
12:18 pm

But you know what Raqi?

The other side of coin when getting “knocked up” is….and you can tell by my next line–>….”she gots that glow”…somma of us don’t have it, yet!

…going to lunch…

Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)

May 22nd, 2009
12:18 pm

@ Demi I am fly, and my girls are fly too…LOL.
That just sounds conceited, but I am very humble and I value my mind more than my face/body. My Daddy used to say there is nothing worse than a dumb woman, and being pretty is not enough. Long story short I have always strived to be a lifelong learner.

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:20 pm

Honest question…

Are men really okay with being passed off to someone else?

I wouldn’t like it if a guy I like tried to pass me off to a friend for whatever reason.

Like I said earlier, without the initial interest being there is one thing, but after he has approached me that’s that. Now should he meet a friend of mine in a different place and time and they get together that would a horse of another color. I had nothing to do with that.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
12:22 pm

@Raqi, been meaning to ask, is your husband very nervous?

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:23 pm

Watch ya now, it name
A pretty face and bad character
Dem the kinda livin can’t hold Chaka (follow me!)
A pretty face and bad character
Dem the kinda livin can’t hold Chaka
Seh gal yuh pretty
Yuh face it pretty
But yuh character dirty
Gal yuh just act too flirty flirty
Yuh run to Tom, Dick, an also Harry
An when yuh find yuh mistake
Yuh talk bout yuh sorry, sorry, sorry (Come now!)

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:26 pm

Being 60 when she GRADUATES and getting preggars past 60 ain’t the same…lol.

Amen!

I read these stories of 70 year old men who start families with their 30 year old brides and just feel it’s selfish. You kid deserves to have you around, barring any accidental death!

But from what I can tell, the 66 year old woman was taken by surprise? I’d be so heated!

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:27 pm

(Are men really okay with being passed off to someone else?)

Nope, as long as the girl is cool and fly…

Professional Lady…cool

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
12:28 pm

Raqi – I think when two mature people realize they don’t click, there’s nothing wrong with a referral. My best friend went out with a guy and discovered he was VERY involved in church. She goes when I ask her at the right time – so she told him about me. He and I both were open to meeting so we went on a date. Now would she have tried to work with him if he were cuter? I don’t know :lol:

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:28 pm

Leggs Nervous??? Not yet. He gets rather “concerned” if he knows I am hurting a little. If I am not feeling well when I go to bed he will wake up if I get up to go to the bathroom and ask if I am okay. But right now he is more excited than nervous.

Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)

May 22nd, 2009
12:30 pm

@@Raqi…I think the guys I have passed off at work understood that I do not date people that I work with. The guys that I met out when I was younger hanging out seemed ok except for that one brother that called me out. Long story short at this point in my life I cannot remember the last time I did the pass off. I guess if it came up now I would do a little thinking and if it adds value to my friend I would do it…

Raqi I don’t know if I shared this but my mom had my brother when she was three months shy of turning 44…the labor and delivery went well and my brother is 23 now…he has really been a blessing!!!

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:30 pm

Now would she have tried to work with him if he were cuter? I don’t know

LOL Tazzee The things that motivate us to give it a try.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
12:31 pm

I’d be heated if I was taken by surprise with pregnancy at 38, so I know I’d be ready to give up the ghost if it happened at 66.

Demi

May 22nd, 2009
12:34 pm

Raqi…most dudes are trying to get it how ever they can…we rarely turn down puddy…no matter how crazy the puddy maybe:

Ah rather wait outta patience
Loving she get dat will be sufficient
Ah rather wait till ah cyar wait no more
X-amount ah loving hardcore
Me ah listen just to hear she knock pon de door
Only to touch and me no wha dat no more

Gyal flex time to have sex
Look how long yuh have de rude bwoy ah sweat
Gyal flex time to have sex sex sex sex sex sex

(Demi is at now at Mo’s desk…in full ‘FLEX’ mode)

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
12:35 pm

surprise pregnancy is surefire motivation for abstinence

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:35 pm

I’d be heated if I was taken by surprise with pregnancy at 38, so I know I’d be ready to give up the ghost if it happened at 66.

Exactly! But at least at 38, you know that the possibility exists. 66 is just cruel. You should be long past that “worry!” Whoo chile!

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:35 pm

Professor 44??? Wow.

Since Mason feels that we will live to be 94 and 95 I guess it is a good thing that we are having a child at this age. We gonna need somebody to change our diapers and feed us soup. LOL

DJ Sniper

May 22nd, 2009
12:37 pm

I have no issue with being passed off either.

Mo (aka Moeisha- wishing she had a hammock, a good book and some fresh lemonade)

May 22nd, 2009
12:38 pm

Demi (Chocolate Baby)- get the heck away from desk with all dat!! coming over here getting ya Chippendales on! LOL!

A pregnancy at 66!! Hell I dont want to be preggers after 35, much less 66!! DAYUM!!

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
12:38 pm

I heard on the news that she got pregnant via vitro!

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
12:39 pm

lmao! i rec’d a call from two gfs. one said “hook a sista up witcho picky azz!” lol.

so that’s 2 YES – 0 NO.

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:42 pm

LOL Tazzee I just hope to be worry free at 66.

While this little I am carrying now was surprise, she was not a surprise.

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
12:44 pm

Demi and DJ passed off for random trim I get, but would it be okay if you are seeking a serious relationship.

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:44 pm

I wouldn’t like it if a guy I like tried to pass me off to a friend for whatever reason.

Like I said earlier, without the initial interest being there is one thing, but after he has approached me that’s that.

It’s really about ego. The person you’ve approached is telling you that you don’t have a shot with them, but that you might be a good fit for someone else. I find that a compliment in the midst of a “diss.” I might not like it at first, but realize it’s just a pride thing.

Might as well give it a shot.

The only thing I’d caution against is if the two friends hung out a lot. Cuz the guy may hit it off with your referral, but may still want a shot with you.

The Truth-Developing a camel hump

May 22nd, 2009
12:44 pm

Whats up folks?

On topic: Go for it WD. Dating you is prolly gonna be a thrill for that cat. School him, it’ll help his developement.

When I was 18 in germany I met this 32 yo chick that was going thru a divorce. She really liked me, prolly cause I still smelled like milk. Anyway, I could not wait to hit that thang. The big night came and I got drunk and went down there and blew a flat. The worse part was I had to jump out her window in the snow because they were checking the rooms. Took a whole week to get a second chance. LOL

My last three gf’s have been in their late 20’s, early thirties. At that age they still like having fun and arent pressed for kids, yet.
After 35 its a race to get knocked up and anybody including Jeb the janitor is game.

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:45 pm

I heard on the news that she got pregnant via vitro!

Oh, well that’s just silly and selfish!

I remember in elementary school, one girl had a 70 year old dad. We used to tease her cuz her dad was ANCIENT! I think he died before she got out of middle school. :(

Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)

May 22nd, 2009
12:47 pm

Yep she had him at 43 in January and turned 44 in April. I found this out recently at the time her doctor told her although she was 43 she had the body of a woman in her late 20s to early 30s…her doctor was in complete awe. My mother is in her 60s now and she still looks good. My brother was heaven sent…there is a 17 year difference between him and my oldest sister…I am about 10 years older than him I would not trade him for the world.

I must say this; I do not understand how my mom dealt with the outside criticism. This was in 1985 and her sisters gave her hell saying she was just too old. It tickles me now when her sisters need his help since they were the main ones talking.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
12:49 pm

Hi Sir Truth. I’m cleaning out my desk and came across the lyrics to the song you and I both like. I fondly remembered our short marriage and smile ear to ear at our divorce! (Stevie Wonder “All I Do”) :lol:

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
12:50 pm

**if it adds value to my friend I would do it…** ANOTHER GOOD POINT!

**I would say something like she was just talking about you and redirect him to my friend. I stopped doing that when a smooth brother told me, “ok, because I am trying to talk to YOU.”**

ummm, this is a different situation and a sticky one. you have to be careful cause you don’t want to lose a gf over a nicca. they come a dime a dozen. now if you triflin’ do you! but i can tell PROFESSOR HEAR ME ROAR that you’ll do the right thing like i would.

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:50 pm

After 35 its a race to get knocked up and anybody including Jeb the janitor is game.

:lol:

It’s refreshing to be on here with so many 30+ sistas who aren’t trippin to have kids.

On another note, Angie is picky? :lol:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
12:50 pm

She really liked me, prolly cause I still smelled like milk. :lol:

Always good to read you The Truth

Jamoca

May 22nd, 2009
12:53 pm

ow’s everybody?…hmph, I’m doing much better myself, now that it’s Friday! now spinning around in my chair Weeeeeeeeee Lol…yeah, right!

ON TOPIC: Can’t say that I’ve ever been interested in someone younger…since I can remember, I’ve always been into older men. At one point, I was seeing a much older fellow, who was just as vibrant and extremely active (indoors and outdoors…from yard work to the lair) and looked dayum good for his age (could have been all those roots and concoctions he’d brew and drink?! Lol

But…he was adamant about only dating younger women…but he was a charmer himself. However, I now find it a little funny that he’s really toning things down, when it comes to dating. He also divulged to me, that of all of the women he’s known…he could only trust me when it came down to personal matters, family/state of affairs…heyal, even on the financial end. And how he tends to the needs/wants of his home, his children (and their grown) and especially…his woman.
Like I said, we’ve known each other for awhile, so I’ve witnessed this to be true….but I believe that he’s just lonesome and being that he’s getting older, eventually he’ll have certain health issues that’ll need some “tending” to”…so he’s really seeking not only for that special someone, but that special someone that he can truly trust. And it’s funny that I said these words to him a long time ago, when I referred a few people to him (for auto body work)…when we called ourselves catching up on each other.

I thought for a minute that maybe at the time, he thought that maybe I was too young to take on anything more…well whatever the conclusion he came to, I was my “genuine self” ….and he could not really recall that character trait with anyone else he’d seen/been with in the past….talk about living like Anna Nicole!…IF that was my nature of course NOT!…(and don’t bother asking how old the man was).

Understandably, he could always hire help if need be (he tried that with me too…and told him upfront that whatever he was hoping for was not going to happen)….but I’m sure he’d rather have a loved one there to help him out when necessary, instead of paying a stranger (and boy, have I heard some stories)!

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm

Talking about getting knocked up. I found out I was pregnant when I kept my apptmt with my gyn to take a fertility test. I got sick in his office and we took a pregnancy test instead. True story!

DJ Sniper

May 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm

Raqi, I honestly wouldn’t mind either way.

Jamoca

May 22nd, 2009
12:55 pm

Of course, in my greeting…I meant “how”? Anyway…

RaqiI told my oldest to stay at home and I hope my youngest will go away. LOL ….but when Liz Adalyn arrives, she’ll be here to stay! Lol…had to add that!

Btw, your 11:43 definitely hits home for me in a big way. Having some good moments/memories of our own….well, of course! But I’ve enjoyed some who had come out of the “ol mid life crisis”…or somewhere in between. However, I also found that just because their driver’s license state that there older, does not necessarily mean they’re mature. Overtime, I’ve also found that being with that younger woman/or man, can bring up and about some underlying insecurities. That can be exhausting too…for both parties involved.

Cee LOL…why I gots to hurssshhh, chick?!?! Jamoca now challenges Cee’s stanky leg to my Halle Berraay…

Demi I was actually thinking the same thing with Snippa..LOL! And who told you to come out with the Elephant Man “Jook Gal”?!

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
12:57 pm

**On another note, Angie is picky?**

i am! and it’s a curse. i could actually be married right now. holdin’ out for the ONE could be a bad idea. whatcha think?

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
12:59 pm

i wouldn’t mind having another child. a lil girl would be nice! sasha.

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
12:59 pm

(Stevie Wonder “All I Do”)

That song is in my head today. Maybe it’s because I want to go to his concert and it’s one of my favorite songs…

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
1:00 pm

whatcha think?

No comment. :D

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
1:03 pm

@AMAZON
you picked the wrong time to be nice gurl!

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
1:04 pm