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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Cougar Duty

In an attempt at full disclosure (sort of) of my dating life, I have to confess that yours truly is dating a younger guy. He is a solid 9 years younger than I am! It started out pretty innocently because I had no idea just how young the guy was until our first date. He just looked my age and I was too distracted by his muscles to card him!

After polling my friends for their opinion (sometimes I live my life by committee), I received some interesting advice. It ranged from “give him a chance” to “why not play a little bit with him”, and not one person advised me against it.

An older woman and younger man relationship can bring it’s own unique set of dating issues. Not to mention how some folks think that younger men date older women because they have “Mommy issues”. What do you think? In your opinion what is the prognosis for such relationships?

Guys, have you ever dated an older woman? How much older was she? What attracted you to her? Do you have an age limit to how old you would date?

Ladies, am I completely insane for dating a 28 year old? Would you do it? How young would you go before it’s too creepy for your taste?

HAPPY FRIDAY!

326 comments Add your comment

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
8:29 am

what’s the?!

WD…you know you r asking for it….age is nuttin but a number…it all depends on the level of maturity and confidence of each individuals…every thing elseis just plan ole bullish.

now beginning two hour work out…

ImAPeach404

May 22nd, 2009
8:43 am

WD – 28 is the magic number these days. I think the every dude I have met this year, less about 5, have been 28. Strange. Anyhoo, I’ve never been one to get caught up on age, but as of late, I find the guys in this age range to still be “playing” and since I’m done “playing” and want to be in a SERIOUS, functional, adult relationship – 28 is NOT where it’s at. I have a dude on the team now who is 25. He seems nice enough and hasn’t said anything stupid yet, but I don’t take him seriously. Oh, and I’m 32 by the way.

I can agree that age doesn’t/shouldn’t matter if you’re looking to date and have fun. But if you’re looking for a more serious relationship, then it is a factor. In my experiences anyway.

WD, you know what is see as a huge factor in these types of relationships? The kid thing. I don’t mind the younger man sometimes, but they all want to have kids one day and I don’t! I know you guys are just dating so maybe this hasn’t come up. I actually don’t even know your stance on this but… do you foresee that being a problem?

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
8:47 am

When I was growing up I would hear a lot of older folks say that girls mature (mentally) faster than boys. That statement is probably more true than not, however I have do believe that there is a span in life that they catch up. Sometimes that catch is forced as a result of the trials of life. Who knows? I personally just think it’s the way we girls are wired. We are born in relationship mode. LOL From the time we are 2 years old we are playing house, dressing up, some being motherly…just already an ingrained take charge mode. Boys? Not so much.

That to say, if he seems mature and level headed then why not. If he makes you happy then go for it. Happiness is all that counts. With almost a 10 year age difference there will probably be some disconnect in the way that you think and do things but I believe that all things are possible. Anything is possible if it’s what you want. Heck just being male and female brings about differences. Go for it.

My friend Lacy dates younger guys, but her motive most of the time is “jackrabbit”. No real relationship expectations.

On another note: We rented our other house to my husband’s cousin who was 23 at the time and dating an older woman. Lawd have merci that whole ordeal was a boat load of drama.

Vick

May 22nd, 2009
8:48 am

Guy Here,
Never dated a woman my own age. Always older or younger. If you are having fun, don’t mess it up with the age question. Ever noticed that puzzle pieces fit together because they are opposite ? I’ll guess you and your ‘date’ are just opposite enough to spark very interesting conversation.
Enjoy!!

Tmac

May 22nd, 2009
9:09 am

Yes, age matters. If you dont believe me try to date 15 yrs old. Na, I get it but I think age matters to a certain age. 9 yrs age gab could be rediculous or it could be Ok depending on how old you are. So WiseDiva, how old are you

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
9:10 am

Good morning everyone!

Age definitely is just a number. If you guys are compatible, can converse on various levels, he respects and treats you like a woman and the sex is good (if you’ve gone there already), go for it. Life has some very interesting curves and a 9 year age difference shouldn’t be one of those curve balls you want to spend time analyzing if everything else seems to be in place!

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
9:18 am

If Mason was to die and I found myself on the dating scene again, I would not avoid the younger guy however I would try to avoid the ones that are needing to be babysat. While they may be fun to hang out with, but if when it comes to being responsible and knowing when to be serious he needs someone to hold his hand or guide him, then no can do.

LIONESS-On Pet Duty

May 22nd, 2009
9:24 am

Good Morning All :)

Diva- Live your life! As long as he makes you smile & you are happy then that is all that matters. You have some TRUE friends! Real friends have your happiness in mind :) I LOVE that!

On Topic: I’ve done it before and it was not for me. I LOVE a man that is older than me but not by much..

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
9:28 am

A lot of time our level of maturity determines how we respond to and deal with problems. It’s ideal to be with someone than can offer support and help you thru a matter rather than creating them or making them worse.

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
9:36 am

I guess in a situation as such one should ask themselves “Can the relationship survive outside of Montego Bay?”. Not literally the place but the mindset.

NY2GA, Inc.

May 22nd, 2009
9:36 am

@WISE

I agree with the other posters. It does depend on maturity. I have dated younger before. So, no, you’re not insane. You’re just being a woman who is exploring her options.

How young would be too creepy? Well, if he takes you to the mall food court for a date and he has to make sure he leaves before the 6PM mall curfew…that indeed is a problem. Or, if his momma drops him off at your house for a date and says “Take care of my son”. LMAO. J/K.

Roar, Cougar…ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAR :)

Deeva4Life

May 22nd, 2009
9:38 am

Good Morning…Great topic WiseDiva…and timely

I struggle with this situation at times. I don’t have a problem dating younger but how much younger is ok? I’m currently 31 and I’m being pursued by a 21-year-old. He’s supersexy and his conversation is engaging but he’s 21 :) Like someone stated, I desire a “SERIOUS, functional, adult relationship” and I’m don’t feel at 21 we’re on the same page. Maybe if I were 41 and he were 31 it would be a little different. I just don’t feel he’s lived enough yet…I mean, he’s just now legal…LOL

I’d also like to give a shout-out to all my fellow Gemini’s…GEMINI’S ROCK!!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
9:39 am

Morning all!

Wise – Go for it!! Enjoy it until you have reason not to. This happened to me twice in the last year. The first guy was 31 and the second was 28. Funny thing is, I ran into the 28 year old again about 2 months after I first met him (and blew off his calls/texts). Part of me wants to say ‘consider what you’re looking for in a relationship and see if he’s on the same path’ but what I really want to say is have fun!

Deeva4Life

May 22nd, 2009
9:40 am

That should have read “I don’t feel at 21 we’re on the same page

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 22nd, 2009
9:41 am

Deeva4Life Back at you fellow Gemini! My birthday is exactly one week from today. Let’s all pray for sunshine at the beach ;-)

M'

May 22nd, 2009
9:44 am

There definitely seems to be a trend of sorts with the older woman and younger man…and much less of a stigma as well ablut it.

While I do not do any traditional “dating” as a rule…I have kicked it with some men who have been younger than myself…my last longstanding relationship was with someone who was 4 years younger than I was…and I had a brother here who was 13 years younger than me that seemed very much interested in a “relationship”…and in the VA the youngins make no bones about being attracted to older women…lol…shyte, I had to card some of them brothers…lol.

But what I have decided, at least for me, is that most younger men are looking for things in long term relationships that are not of interest to me…like ImaPeach said, some want kids…some have kids and my daughter is almost 26…so raising some else’s youngins ain’t on my radar…and I have also decided that there must be a cut off age, like no more than 10 years in age difference…I do not want to be competing with the young women in my daughter’s age group…just a matter of principal with me…but I also try to keep a realistic focus on the situation…meaning?…well, givne the number of men in my age group who need enhancement measures to sustain some pleasure…uh, the young cats do not :wink: :twisted:

But, I say that if it is an interest that is mutually shared…go fot it…why not???

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
9:44 am

You know what NY2GA during the time when it seemed like every time you turned to the news another teacher was sexing one of her underage students a friend and I were talking about why and how these women get caught in that kind of situation. I have a 20 year old son and of all the times he has brought his friends to the house I have never looked at one of them as anything but a child. The same with my 14 year old now. Any guy that is less than 10 years older than my oldest son is too young for me to even look at or consider in a dating, romantic, sexual, intimate manner. That’s just creepy.

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
9:46 am

What??? Who has set the school busses on fire!?!?!? whoa…

As I remember the last days of school folks having food fights, toilet papering the trees/yard, steal the clocks, take doors off the bathroom stalls, toilet paper the ceiling in the bathroom, smoke weed in the teacher’s lounge & parkinglot, take the principal keys and leave a message in his office that says “Your fine azz wife was with <—(insert 17y/o that was always hitting on teachers here)last night”

Lol…as you can tell i’m product of APS schools.

Morning! I have the Friday song on deck,…whenever ya’ll ready!

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
9:49 am

WiseDiva – I have a friend that is in this same situation. She is “happy as a clam”….you know my mantra.

LIVE!

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
9:53 am

Demi os at the QT on Lawrenceville…these jokers have cases of 12 packs sitting out front…thinking of a quick come up…my boy got a pickup …I could see the plan forming…awwwww ishhhh bish…Deklab PD was standing right next to me grinning!…lol

404….your company is trippin…these folk won’t release the overtime…but r fuggin wit us about the heavy volume…I am only doing 100 per msoc and that’s it..

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
9:54 am

Well go head WiseDiva!

I don’t see anything wrong with “Cougar relationships” as long as you have the same goals. Most never married women in their mid to late 30s I know want to get married and have kids relatively quicky after entering a relationship. A lot of guys in their 20s have no desire to be married in the next year or two and start families.

As long as that obstacle is addressed, I don’t see the problem. Besides the sex drives should be similar!

Happy Friday before a 3-day weekend all!

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
9:55 am

Anthony Hamilton and MusiqChild tickets go on sale in 5 minutes!

Mo (aka Moeisha- wishing she had a hammock, a good book and some fresh lemonade)

May 22nd, 2009
9:58 am

TGIF and a long weekend!!! Add to that a win by Denver and all is alright in Mo’s world! :smile:

My ex hubby was younger than I and as someone stated, it all goes back to maturity. As of late I have been approached by younger men mostly and its cool.

Demi – now you know the peoples dont want to give you no extra monies!!

Cemeeli – go on with that friday song chica, Im ready!

NY2GA, Inc.

May 22nd, 2009
9:59 am

I hear you Raqi. I made my comment to Wise in jest. However, we do see alot of cases where adult women (and men) are messing with younger folks. I may be dating myself, but do you remember that movie The Graduate…when he seduced by Mrs. Robinson? That’s the cougar phenomenon in a nutshell. It’s just that some modern day cougars take it too far. Those are the ones that don’t need to be dating, they should be in jail for messing with kids.

Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)

May 22nd, 2009
10:03 am

It’s a beautiful morning, and hello to all.

From the time I was 20 I always dated older guys, but recently I was in a relationship for a 1 ½ with a gentleman that was four years my junior. The relationship started out fun, but in the end it was not the age thing that made the relationship tumble, but there were a lot of things I feel age related that contributed to the cause.

WD- I say go with what you feel.

Tazzee…thanks for the code and I do have my tickets for 06.25.2009. Now it is time to find something to wear.

@ M’ I agree with a cutoff age.

@ Cee…yep that is how we used to do it in the APS…LOL. Shoot I had left some of that stuff in the closet whew…I need to say my Prayers and ask for forgiveness again.

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
10:04 am

Besides the sex drives should be similar!

Amazon that would be grand if sex was the only thing that mattered. :lol:

Blow Me

May 22nd, 2009
10:05 am

Good Morning All

Blogging before the Big GETAWAY again..I love to travel.

Anywho..seeing that I am 28 dating young would be nothing but trouble….I mean getting a guy my age of sound quality is a hard feat.

Dating under 28….I can’t do it. What do I look like dating someone who is 25…and truly expecting something serious out of it? Not going to happen. I will wait for those COUGAR days..I think I have another good 10 YRS before then anyways

M'

May 22nd, 2009
10:05 am

@Raqi

That is why I put a cut off age range into place…with the guy that was 13 years younger than me…all I could think about was that he was in kindergarten when I was graduating high school, 10 years old when I moved to the ATL at 23 and 17 years old, graduating high school when I was 30…and I could never quite comfortably wrap my had around that…so hence, age cut off became a real consideration…I am more comfortable with 10 or fewer years in age difference…lol

ImAPeach404

May 22nd, 2009
10:05 am

Hey Demi! I’m not there anymore. I was a contractor and got the boot SOON as AT&T took over.
I’m now with Verizon and MUCH happier!

I’ve been approached by much younger guys my whole life – thanks to great genes, I currently look to be anywhere from 24-26 so it’s inevitable that younger guys approach me. I LOVE the look on their face when I tell them I’m 32. Fun times to know their wheels are spinning in overdrive trying to change their game plan :)

I heard that Old School Saturday is the SPOT for May-December hook-ups… can anyone confirm this Atlanta Myth???

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
10:08 am

“As of late I have been approached by younger men mostly and its cool.”

Hey Mo it’s’ on you….

I’m gonna get my Cougaring on….I’m gonna get my Nick Cameron Lok-alike-on, on….I’m gonna get my “younger men are broke!!!” <– Hunh ….aaaaalll weekend long.

You havta watch that Cee

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
10:08 am

NY2GA I have never seen that movie but I have heard about it. I actually thought about that situation when Demi Moore married Ashton.

In a situation like that, I would hope that I could trust the guy but it would be hard to do when he is closer to my daughters in age and mentality.

I do remember the movie Class where the college student fell in love with his friends mother.

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
10:11 am

Amazon that would be grand if sex was the only thing that mattered

Yeah, that’s why it was listed as the afterthought. :D

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
10:15 am

Mo…be want me to do all of this extra ish…and have a meeting on my a$$ about high productivity level and how to bring my level back down…I am sitting there with a WTF!? look on my face…some how they fround I am trying to tranfer out of this camp…and ask me what wrong…I wanted to tell the truth…fields got married to cooks…and that screwed my whole sexual fantasy up!!

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
10:20 am

age aint nuttin’ but a numba! giggle.

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
10:22 am

Shoot I had left some of that stuff in the closet whew…I need to say my Prayers and ask for forgiveness again.

Professor is now professing that “The debil issa Liiiieeee”…

Deeva4Life

May 22nd, 2009
10:23 am

Dear Lord,

Please let it be sunny at the beach so Tazzee can have a Fantabulous birthday.

Amen,
Deeva4Life

There you go Tazzeeall done :)

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
10:23 am

Oh – Why ya’ll didnt tell me his name is Nick Cannon? <— some kind of friends…

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
10:24 am

M’ any guy that would be into the same music and fashions as my sons would probably be too young.

And yeah if you think back to certain events comparing ages and get creeped out, then he is too young.

Mo (aka Moeisha- wishing she had a hammock, a good book and some fresh lemonade)

May 22nd, 2009
10:24 am

Cemeeli – now I do have a cut off, if dude is the same age as my younger sis then I cant hang wit’em. On the other side if he is more than 2yrs older than my brother I can do it!

Im gonna get my cookout on, Im gonna get my cougar flirt on and Im gonna get my chill on…all weekend loonnnng!

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
10:27 am

blow is sound quality now..who knew?

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
10:32 am

404….dayuuuuuum yooooooou!! (Demi is now mean mugg sexy A$$, fo oh fo)

I am glad things work out for ya…it is getting ugly in this camp…things are calm here…ish may hit the fan soon…

Raqi...The Wife of one Sleepless in Seattle

May 22nd, 2009
10:34 am

Ya know Moeisha that getting my chill on sounds just about right when thinking about what I want to do this weekend.

I was talking to Mason on the phone last night and we have decided that we are not going anywhere. He is so ready to come home to his own bed he is not interested in doing nothing else. I. am. so. glad. From what it looks like now it is suppose to rain on Monday so we may throw a couple of burgers or so on the grill but that will be about it. No visitors and no visiting.

I told my oldest to stay at home and I hope my youngest will go away. LOL

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
10:35 am

Mo…you look 5 going on 10…you got the baby johnson’s baby soft look about you, lol

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
10:37 am

good morning ladies!

i took the age thing out of my rule book recently. i was tellin’ myself that dating a man under 36 yrs old was a no no. i realized that i could be missing out on some great guys.

my co-worker went on a dating website and of course i made sure to put my .02 in the mix. i asked her to keep the age range as wide as possible. she frowned, but agreed. she later told me that it made a lot of sense, because she had more to choose from and most of the males she was interested in were either way older or a lil younger.

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
10:41 am

Moas we wait for the next blogger that’s happy it’s Friday, and they are blessed, well, able blog, to jump on the Friday song… with us.

The guy at the sporting good store (21 as of April 22 y/o) hit on me in front of the son of mine and was using his knowledge and likes of my sons athleticism to conversate with me. I thought was interesting b/c as he asked me to sign up for the Memeber Discount program and asked my son to “sample” some of the newest equipment in the store. I saw “THE LOOK” and i knew he was going for the kill once my son became occupied with the new toys. So long story short he asked if he could take me and the son out to a sporting event (can’t remember if basketball or football) and then onto Grand Prix…i thought it was sooo cute…awww…him was on his game with Cougar Hunting (hush Jamoca…:)

Leggs

May 22nd, 2009
10:42 am

Well, all I can say is this certifiable “Cougar” is going younger. I have to because the men older than me are just plain OLD. They’re settled. Don’t want to party occasionally, don’t want to stroll around the park, don’t want to go to brunch, don’t want to do much of anything but sex it up, watch tv or complain about ailments. I can’t stand it any longer!

AmazonRed™

May 22nd, 2009
10:46 am

I have to because the men older than me are just plain OLD.

Leggs – This 49 year old hit on me recently. When this happens the first thing I do is ask them if they date women their own age! He admitted that he likes younger women and if the lady is over 42, she doesn’t have much of a chance. :???: His reasoning though was that women his age were OLD too. I thought about giving him your number and you showing him what’s what! :lol:

Beautiful

May 22nd, 2009
10:47 am

@LEGGS
are you watchin’ the cougar reality show with whatserface? i haven’t taken the time to catch it, but looks interesting.

Cemeeli

May 22nd, 2009
10:51 am

Lol@ Leggs – Don’t take that! Do you know the Friday song?…come on sis.

Demi...(via pda)

May 22nd, 2009
10:51 am

Angie…I think you will enjoy guy in the 19 thru 24 age range…

Leggs…you need to stick with the 36 thru 45 age range..for serious dating…use the 28 thru 32 for the much needed puddy beat down, lol