accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Doing Too Much?

I was reading an article in the June issue of Essence that raised a couple of great questions about single and coupled up women. The article, entitled Body Shop asked how far would/should women go to get a man or please the one they have? Obviously this will vary a great deal from one person to the next.

The article referred to this quest to seek physical and sexual perfection in hopes of landing a man or keeping a man. Some women are taking classes in everything from cooking to pole dancing, to sex lessons to raise their profile on the dating scene. If it can impress a man with one of the tricks/tips they have learned in these classes, it is well worth the investment of money, time, and effort.

I decided that I am pretty much too lazy to be that pressed about getting a man and maybe that is my problem. Am I doing enough to get a man? Should I start enrolling in classes that will make me a soul food cooking, pole swinging, vixen in the bedroom kind of woman that men are drawn to?

Guys, does it really take all of this to attract you? Do you really find women with a well-rounded “education” in male attraction more fascinating? Are you meeting women that disclose the fact that they are taking these classes? How do you respond when they tell you?

Ladies, do you think women are doing too much to get a man? Is it desperate measures or are these actions spot on? Should more women try harder to improve their profile to a single man with classes like this? Have you taken a cooking, pole dancing, or sex class before? Was it a good experience for you? Did you learn a lot? Did it make you feel empowered?

Happy Wednesday!

482 comments Add your comment

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:29 pm

LMAO- speaking of mail…I just went out to the mailbox and Ms. Maye lives in the care of her daughter…they live across the street from me. ..she was getting off her old folks bus and had a few bags..so I go to help her in the house..she starts to tell me about her daughter who I have met in passing..this is what the little old 70 yr old lady said..”Now baby, Sharon has her eye on you and you seem like you are a good man..but my daughter likes to stick and move so just be careful”…me..”Okay, thank you Ms. Maye”…now back to you regularly scheduled blog topics..lol

I think I am going to take Ms Maye out for some lemonade tomorrow, she is a sweetie.

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
2:31 pm

Now you know a pistol like Ms Maye deserves something stronger than lemonade! :lol:

Demi ( Feeling like a pimp, though my pocket is saying krump change )

May 20th, 2009
2:31 pm

Bored at work…Demi is now install a pool table and strippa pole near his work station…Now calling a few strippa friends to join in on the fun

Fellas, let’s be honest…unhappy married women got some fire puddy…

Foots

May 20th, 2009
2:32 pm

Randy Yes, you know YOUR situation. I have a friend who I talked about earlier who had a different experience than you. Although I haven’t dated a man in the process of a divorce, I find it easier to take situations like this on a case-by-base basis. So if I did, I would handle it the same way as I do a man with children, or any other situation I can’t control: If at any point it becomes too much for me to handle, I know how to keep it moving. That’s all any of us can do.

I have dated three men who were freshly divorced, one wasn’t ready and two were. We didn’t work out for other reasons. Case by case basis.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:32 pm

lol@Demi in all of his thugnificence..lmao

@Ce- I can’t help it if fools with Federal Warrants try to fly back in to the country ( we will let you fly out, maybe you will stay gone, it’s just when you bring yourself back that we get ya)…dumbasses..you’re doing my job for me..lol..seriously though I will be out creeping in South Georgia later tonight.

Jamoca

May 20th, 2009
2:33 pm

Demi – Flea-gro…that ain’t the half of it, mayne!…you better get on down the yellow brick road to Munchkin Land with that!… Jamoca now flicks away Demi (not Alvin)…like the buggah on her index fanga… LOL

You silly! What’s up man?

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:33 pm

@Demi- Hawt Fiyah “work it out girl…work it out”

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20th, 2009
2:33 pm

ELIJAH…”Tmac tell us how you really think about the Mamba!” He’s got his manties in a bunch because I turned him down! :shock:

Hey…firemen slide down poles and look sexy doing it! :lol:

LIONESS>>>the chick in tha story shoudl cut her looses and move on. Being as that he has kids with this woman…she will always be a part of his life and should she marry him….she will be a part of hers too. She will make there life hell. Hence my reason for not dating men with kids. Now if the kids are older (teens) and the parents have been divorced enough time….then I would give him the chance. But young children…hellz no! But wait…did you say he was separated? That is not divorced….no way in hell I am dating separated dudes. I just do not see the justification in messing with a married man. He’s is trife and so is she!

TMAC…”Why call names those who believe in marriage or relationship”! Hell they do it to me…so payback is a beyotch isn’t it? :lol: Oh and believing in marriage is one thing…but making it your main focus in life is nuts! That is saying that you need another person to make you happy and feel complete. So I am not knkocking those whose desire it…just those who feel they need it. What they really need is a therapist. Being dependent on others is a problem.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 20th, 2009
2:35 pm

Elijah – I can cook, I just don’t on a regular basis. Plus, like most men, he could use some more veggies in his life ;-)

W8 – that is hilarious. I guess you won’t be going after Ms. Maye’s daughter.

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
2:35 pm

Nope married is married and divorced is divorced

correction married is married til death do you part

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
2:37 pm

I have dated three men who were freshly divorced, one wasn’t ready and two were.

Foots – Though I haven’t been divorced, I agree. Some people have been living as strangers or alone long before the divorce papers have been filed. Once you’ve decided your relationship is over, you start looking towards the next chapter. Not to say that the actual process isn’t draining.

I do have concerns about men who are “separated” and are off actively looking for someone. But sometimes good people fall right into your lap when you aren’t looking. So I do think it’s a case by case basis.

Since I’ve dated a separated man, I can say that I wouldn’t get close to one until after the divorce was final, but there are some women who are well equipped to handle a person in transition.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:38 pm

lol@Ared- she might have her own little flask..lol

Raqi...30 Days to ML

May 20th, 2009
2:39 pm

Foots tell your friend you are married until you are single. Not living single but single single.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 20th, 2009
2:40 pm

FOOTS Fair enough. I suspect the trick is to go into these situations with one’s eyes wide open. That gives one the highest probability of success. If one is not careful one’s emotions get in the way of making careful decisions. All it takes to fall in love is a pulse…not a brain. LOL

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:42 pm

@Mamba– Down kitten..now purrrrrrrr..lol
@Tazzee- hell no at Ms Maye’s daughter
@Vow Keeper- YUP
@Foots- so you were the constant in those 3 situations?

Once again men “on” poles..ewwwww gotta lose your mancard on that one.

Foots

May 20th, 2009
2:42 pm

Raqi Yeah, I WOULD tell her…but as I said earlier, they dated while his divorce was in process and she’s married to him now.

Foots

May 20th, 2009
2:43 pm

W8 I’ve been the constant in EVERY situation I’ve EVER been in. Everywhere I look, there I am. Imagine that!!

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:46 pm

@Ared-..”but there are some women who are well equipped to handle a person in transition.”..

Until he is transitioning from her..lol..I had a conversation with someone yesterday..long story short I let it be known that there is no reason for a single person to be chatty, calling, emailing, hanging with a single person of the opposite sex. Well it’s okay it’s nothing happening..umm ..does this persons spouse know about it?

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:47 pm

@Foots- “I have dated three men who were freshly divorced, one wasn’t ready and two were. We didn’t work out for other reasons. Case by case basis.”

Good thing you are consistent! Imagine That!

Le Siren

May 20th, 2009
2:49 pm

VOW KEEPER- “correction married is married til death do you part”

Yes, of course that is ideal…but please step off of your pedestal for moment to join all of us in the real world…

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
2:50 pm

Isnt Foots the main one in this joint against adultery? Seeing a divorced/about to be divorced/somewhat divorced/transitioning/separated/legally separated/ain’t quite told the whole story man, is adultery

DJ Sniper

May 20th, 2009
2:52 pm

W8, I believe you meant to say that there’s no reason for a single person to be doing all of that with a married person of the opposite sex. If that’s what you meant, do you really believe that doing that will always lead to some sort of trouble? Me and my wife both have single friends of the opposite sex that we communicate with and there’s no issue at all. Some of them we both know, some of them we don’t.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:52 pm

@Le Siren- Maybe Vow Keeper is in a happy relationship and has seen examples of what he/she is stating..till death do us part does exist for some. and that’s their world

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
2:52 pm

LeSiren Yes, of course that is ideal

Nothing to do with a pedalstal nor the world in which you refered to as being real because I myself see plenty of “was married” men. I pulled that from the good book. Nothing to do with me personally.

kimmie

May 20th, 2009
2:52 pm

there are some women who are well equipped to handle a person in transition.

And I ain’t one of them. Before now, looks like everyone I met was in some kind of “transition”, though not separated or married.

Case by case basis may be true, but I know my limits. I don’t have the patience to date and find out if it’s a case worth working with, or just a case!

I just wouldn’t be as lucky as Foot’s friend.

Cemeeli

May 20th, 2009
2:53 pm

“daughter likes to stick and move so just be careful”

DAYUM GINA!!!

W8South Georgia is a whole nother world, isnt’ it! I just got back Sunday for fooling around with my folks. Gotta love ‘em.

Scene One: Birthday party for a 1 year old.

-Party starts at 4pm Saturday (which is what it says on the baby-pictured printed birthday invitations.) No R.S.V.P. just “Start-4pm”

- 2 Blow up bounce/jump houses, and 1 water attraction later, the party starts at 5:15ish. Kids eat as soon as they arrive cause Uncle Leon been bbq-ing all morning.

- 2 grills and 50-11 kids (read: fifty eleven kids)running all over the yard and the house.

- Twice as many grown ups (50-11+) including cuzins, nephews, along with baby mammas in their Ecko LTD, Ed Hardy, and Juicy Couture outfits (”kits”). Cell phones blazin, textin-teenagers, and air force ones and Jordans everywhere!!!

- Likka and Hunch-Punch <—-need i say more?

- Oh yea, the one year old is surrounded buy great aunts, grandmas and whole buncha camera phone (needless to say she’s a beautiful babygrl).

- 3 hours later about 9ish…somebody brings 2more coolers (one with ice only) and a gang of fish already fried <—WTH????

- 9:08pm Cee says; “Did we sing happy b-day to babygirl yet?” Have you did the pinata and goodie bags for the kids?” “Isn’t it time for somma these kids (and parents) to go home?”

- 11pm – Auntie Linda, Tina, Kee-Kee, Cuzin’ Pap, Bobby, Kel, Mike, Jeff and all them break out the Bumble Bees!!!

- 11:15 Babygirl still has CP folk bringing gifts and she’s sleep!

aaaaannnnnnddd – Where they do that^^^ at???? South Georgia!!!

Mo (aka Moeisha- wishing she had a hammock, a good book and some fresh lemonade)

May 20th, 2009
2:54 pm

okay I dont know what the topic is now but I aint tryin to see not one mo’ post bout men and stripper poles! It aint right and I soooo dont want a visual of that.

For Real – are you here so you can provide a recap?

So off the subject but I had to share: how cute is it when your lil one says your toes are “petty” (pretty)…awwww

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:55 pm

@DJ- I put opposite sex in my post :) ..what I left out was basically the inappropriate conversations and such( i left that out) it’s a matter of respect..some not all get off on the wrong tangents sometimes.

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
2:56 pm

LeSiren oh and that pedalstal thing would probably come into play moreso for the women on here that condemn women to brimstone and fire for seeing someone that’s openly married but justify seeing someone because they’re transitioning. Now that sounds more like the pedalstal thing going on

DJ Sniper

May 20th, 2009
2:56 pm

VowKeeper, are you saying you wouldn’t date someone who is legally divorced?

kimmie

May 20th, 2009
2:57 pm

W8 – You know Foots is a Dawg too.

Foots

May 20th, 2009
2:58 pm

Vow Keeper I’d like to think that most people are against adultery. If the relationship is over, it’s over. It was over the day before the judge’s clerk mailed you the finalized papers and just like it’s over the day after you receive them. It’s a legal matter at that point. You don’t have to agree and I’m sure you don’t.

If you want to put in the full meaning of adultery, you can’t leave out the divorced people that are dating and who remarry. Like you said, you are married until you (or the other person) dies.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
2:58 pm

Ce- lol@ Cuz’ Pap..and dont forget about the fam who is way out by the tree line “gettin it in” (weed)

Foots

May 20th, 2009
3:01 pm

Vow Keeper Nothing to do with a pedalstal nor the world in which you refered to as being real because I myself see plenty of “was married” men. I pulled that from the good book

Now, you DO realize that you seeing plenty of “was married” men is adultery in the Good Book right? :lol:

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
3:01 pm

@Kimmie- Foots is a Dawg? Okay I will be nice now (lol@Kimmie keeping me in the know and checking me on the sly)

Cemeeli

May 20th, 2009
3:03 pm

W8 There are 4 trees in my cousin’s yard. You choose!

Tmac

May 20th, 2009
3:05 pm

Stacey Mamba,

about you turning me down, I think I am ok with missing a frozen, dead nana hahaha

as of your hypocracy…

“Hell they do it to me…so payback is a beyotch isn’t it?”

fair enough,

Foots

May 20th, 2009
3:09 pm

kimmie I don’t have the patience to date and find out if it’s a case worth working with, or just a case!

That’s about how I feel about men with kids. I have to take them on a case by case basis too. Like you detailed yesterday, you’ve dated men with unruly kids and that case didn’t work for you, so you left it. But this man’s kids are wonderful and it’s great. I bet you’re glad you handled his case on its own merits.

And W8 can snipe at me all he wants. Don’t matter if I’m a Dawg or not.

And W8 Most relationships we are in don’t work out. You know that from your own experience, having been divorced. Just like me, you’re probably the constant in your relationships too. So what was your point?

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20th, 2009
3:09 pm

W8…”Mamba– Down kitten..now purrrrrrrr” Come make me! :wink: :lol:

CEMEELI…that party sounds like a Southern version of a Caribbean “Kiddie” party. Trips me out that the party starts at 8PM for a 2 year old. By 1AM the adults are drinking and dancing..the kids are asleep under tables on the floor in cute party dresses! There are pictures of me as a child asleep on the floor at family parties…even one of my own B-day parties! It sucks having a December B-day. You could never have an outdoor party unless it was at Rockefeller Rink!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 20th, 2009
3:11 pm

TMAC….could you even reach my frozen dead Nana without a step stool? :lol:

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 20th, 2009
3:15 pm

It sucks having a December B-day. You could never have an outdoor party unless it was at Rockefeller Rink!

Staceye I feel your pain…my birthday is Dec.24…so imagine getting that ONE gift. As a child I thought “Okaaay so if I open this today I’ll have nothing for Christmas BUT if I wait until tomorrow I won’t have anything for my birthday”…that sucked huge chunks of monkey butt if you ask me. You just don’t do that to the chirren…..

OOMPAH LOOMPAH!!!!! There goes that Turret’s again…..

Leggs

May 20th, 2009
3:15 pm

That was too easy ~ but Staceye a step stool would put him exactly where he wanted to be, head first!

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
3:15 pm

DJ Sniper nope

Foots Don’t take the statement out of context. When I referred to “I see married men” was meant as in passing, interacting as in work, approached as in out and about. And yes, once we cover the are you married question, if it comes up as a yes or separated or divorces. It becomes a no go.

Married until proven Single!

May 20th, 2009
3:16 pm

ok, so i’m the only one who saw that? lol. y’all funny. BLOW, you got a problem with your identity?

@RAQI
i’m stickin’ my tongue out at you!

@AMAZON
**Are you ok with dating a dude if he is in the divorce process?**
**I did this once**

you can do it once and i can’t! when i accidentally fell into this mess, i all of a sudden became a bad person.

y’all are full of shiit! i tell ya.

Foots

May 20th, 2009
3:17 pm

Vow Keeper So let’s put it in context. Would you date a divorced man?

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
3:17 pm

@Foots- Point is I learn quick and dont do the same thing over and over, hence me being divorced once and not yet again married. See I know what I want and I am not settling until I find it, that’s my point.

@Mamba- (makes the cheesy lion face and growls@u)

Blow Me

May 20th, 2009
3:18 pm

Ceemeeli- What part of south ga?

kimmie

May 20th, 2009
3:20 pm

Foots – Hey I don’t want you to have to go back & read what I wrote yesterday, so I’ll just tell you – that was my FRIEND that IS dating the dude with the unruly kids, NOT ME. I’ve been lucky in that respect.

And yeah, TIME has made me lazy and less patient when it comes to giving a dude a “chance”! I used to hang around and try to “work” with a situation – and that’s why I’m still single today! Just wasted a lot of time. Life is too short. Now I’ve gotten better at casing a situation out quickly and deciding if I can deal with it. Dudes fresh out of relationships – I can see that upfront and decide I don’t want to deal with it.

W8 – You’re welcome – I look out for all my Dawgs! But she ain’t gonna be any easier on ya though, Foots tells it like it is!

Vow Keeper

May 20th, 2009
3:21 pm

Foots No, he’s married til death he does part.

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
3:21 pm

you can do it once and i can’t! when i accidentally fell into this mess, i all of a sudden became a bad person.

Angie – Cry me a river. “Accidently” fell, you just sound stupid when you tell your stories.

You always want me to keep it real. Well, I am. I dated a guy who is going thru a divorce. The key is that he was GOING THRU A DIVORCE not just talking about it.