accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Doing Too Much?

I was reading an article in the June issue of Essence that raised a couple of great questions about single and coupled up women. The article, entitled Body Shop asked how far would/should women go to get a man or please the one they have? Obviously this will vary a great deal from one person to the next.

The article referred to this quest to seek physical and sexual perfection in hopes of landing a man or keeping a man. Some women are taking classes in everything from cooking to pole dancing, to sex lessons to raise their profile on the dating scene. If it can impress a man with one of the tricks/tips they have learned in these classes, it is well worth the investment of money, time, and effort.

I decided that I am pretty much too lazy to be that pressed about getting a man and maybe that is my problem. Am I doing enough to get a man? Should I start enrolling in classes that will make me a soul food cooking, pole swinging, vixen in the bedroom kind of woman that men are drawn to?

Guys, does it really take all of this to attract you? Do you really find women with a well-rounded “education” in male attraction more fascinating? Are you meeting women that disclose the fact that they are taking these classes? How do you respond when they tell you?

Ladies, do you think women are doing too much to get a man? Is it desperate measures or are these actions spot on? Should more women try harder to improve their profile to a single man with classes like this? Have you taken a cooking, pole dancing, or sex class before? Was it a good experience for you? Did you learn a lot? Did it make you feel empowered?

Happy Wednesday!

482 comments Add your comment

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:07 pm

Start lifting weights and not steaks dude!

:lol: Too funny Staceye!

Blow Me

May 20th, 2009
12:08 pm

Everyone working on the wrong things..What they need to be working on is the screwed up issues that spew and toxify a relationship.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:08 pm

lol@ all of the pole dancing issues..I am still not seeing where anyone said that they were taking the classes to “get” a man..and the guy pole dancing..is not for me…now I will flip the script and strip for my lady out of the blue…just because she is special

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:09 pm

@Lioness- Dating a man is not difficult…do you want to go out on a date before you leave town this weekend?

Blow Me

May 20th, 2009
12:09 pm

Trust LIONESS…you are NOT the LOST ONE!! LMAO!

kimmie

May 20th, 2009
12:10 pm

Melo – I totally get you. All you went thru made you the man that you are today and worthy of such a Queen.

But you said essentially what we’ve all been saying.

I had in a mother what you would probably consider a Queen. She was the epitome of class, beauty and humility. On her obituary it said “A Most Gratious Lady”. She was loved not only by our family, but many others in the community. The pastor said “Atlanta lost a princess today”. That’s the kind of example I had growing up. She’s a tough act to follow, but I’m trying my best. Making her proud up in heaven!

Now are there things I can improve on – yes! Mom was not perfect and neither am I. But the SO I have attracted is hopefully my future King – the equivalent of your Queen! He is attracted to the woman I AM today!

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:10 pm

Oh yeah I have to give a formal “Hello” to my Dawg Kimmie!

kimmie

May 20th, 2009
12:12 pm

W8 – Woof Woof!!!

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:12 pm

Yup..but I think people should workout for themselves not for others..

I’ll admit I constantly struggle with this. Cuz I don’t want to workout for myself, yet. Thought I know I should start now to make it easier.

I do like being fit and I want to stay active, so I look to alternate forms of fitness. That’s why the pole classes worked for me. They were fun, great tone/cardio and certainly not boring!

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:13 pm

@Kimmie- Sic’Em!!!!!!!

Cemeeli

May 20th, 2009
12:13 pm

@ W8 & Kimmie – While yall barking like a dog. What’s for lunch?

I’m sitting here waiting for the lunch crew to come up with something….

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:13 pm

W8- Awww.. Can I wear sneakers?

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:14 pm

@Ared- as long as you are fit and active you are doing your body good

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:14 pm

I am still not seeing where anyone said that they were taking the classes to “get” a man

W8 – Yeah, but apparently we are not to be believed with that. :roll: :lol:

Raqi...30 Days to ML

May 20th, 2009
12:14 pm

ForReal are you not one of the very men that is here every day talking about a man that changes or jumps thru hoops for a woman is a cashmere kitty? Now you are saying me do it all the time. Which is it?

Are the normal things that guys have to offer considered jumping thru hoops to you? Does being gainfully employed, responsible, fun and level headed get put in the “man hoops” category in your book?

Or is refraining from scratching your balls in public considered a trick or jumping thru hoops. LOL

Cemeeli

May 20th, 2009
12:15 pm

awww Kimmie Your mom was a sweet. Like mother like daughter.

Sorry, i read from the bottom, up.

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:15 pm

as long as you are fit and active you are doing your body good

W8 – I haven’t worked out at all in 2009, quite honestly, but I’m going to “keep doing what I’ve been doing” til I get something I don’t want to get. :lol:

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:16 pm

@Lioness-I dont eat at places for dinner where you can wear sneakers
@Ce- I had French Chicken and Asparagus for lunch..

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:16 pm

W8- I won’t wear sneakers if you do this for me–>now I will flip the script and strip for my lady out of the blue…just because she is special

OF COURSE I will go out with you this weekend :) My cupcake has been DYING to meet you ;)

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:18 pm

@Raqi- lmao
@Ared_ SmartAzz..lol

Cemeeli

May 20th, 2009
12:19 pm

Lioness – Say “Can i wear tennis shoes?”

Translations and phonics didn’t work in College Park Schools. :smile:

Tatto Season???<—Okay i’ll wait til after lunch to get with you on that.

!In a minute folks.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:20 pm

@Lioness- um you have to have some time in grade before I strip.cuz I’m a honest hoe…lmao

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:20 pm

In Europe men taking pole dancing classes is gaining popularity…

EPO – In Europe it’s a true fitness craze. They’re trying to even make in into an Olympic sport, kind of along the rhythmic gymnastics realm. A pole can be just another aparatus to do tricks and spins on.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:23 pm

@Ce- she wearing sneakers..she dont eat..lmao

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:23 pm

W8- Cute but I need something to remember you by while on my trip..

Tmac

May 20th, 2009
12:24 pm

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

that is why you are single and will be so. But not many woman are “single and happy” for a while, they want a man, they need a man and do whatever it takes to have one

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:25 pm

@Ared_ SmartAzz..lol

W8 – As Mary J says: “I can only be meeeee!!!” :lol:

That was one of my moms first nicknames for me. :lol:

Married until proven Single!

May 20th, 2009
12:25 pm

good morning all!

imo i think a lady should keep doing what she was doing BEFORE she got her man. he liked what he saw, right? don’t break what is not broken.

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:25 pm

Gangster Tmac is back..

W8- I have a sweet tooth

mytw♥cents

May 20th, 2009
12:26 pm

RAQI You did the dance of the & veils, girl? Cute. What’s funny is that our classes started out with a lecture about how learning was NOT about being sexy for some man. And yes, a helluva workout..

I. have gotten tired of denouncing the FWB–>GF—>>WIFE Bermuda triangle many of us get caught up in by trying so hard to give dudes what they want when they won’t give you what you need. It’s another way folks seek validation outside of themselves which sets em up for failure.

People really do pay lots for those workshops n sessions too. Silly when they could figure it all out for free and/or may not have anyone worthwhile to hone their skills on after graduation.

Married until proven Single!

May 20th, 2009
12:26 pm

don’t fix! ooops. lol.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:27 pm

@Lioness- I can let you pay the bill..you’d remember that right..lmao
@Ared- I can see that..lol
@Married til single- Good point

DJ Sniper

May 20th, 2009
12:28 pm

Men taking pole dancing classes? What in the name of all things black and holy is going on with that nonsense?!?!?! No dude worth his balls should want to slide down a pole. Ever. Did I mention ever?

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 20th, 2009
12:29 pm

@Sassy now I am jealous you just stated you still Heart Mick Vick too! I thought you only hearted me!

Elijah I do heart you cat daddy :lol: It’s just that I think Mike could use some more support from the AA community. Ryan Cameron made a good point yesterday on V-103 during his show…a young lady called the show wanting to know why T.I was being “glorified” for going to prison(V103 is giving away tickets to his last concert) and as Ryan was making his point he said that the same way Tip did what he had to do(community service) and was still supported, therefore now that Mike has served his time he needs our support as well. That’s all.

Elijah you’re still my #1 :)

East Point's Own

May 20th, 2009
12:29 pm

AmazonRed It still ain’t right… it just ain’t right. Tell me what kind of outfit would a dude wear and maintian his masculinity with his sac squeezed between his thigh and a brass pole?

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:29 pm

@my.02- I don’t like it when a woman is trying overly hard..I mean I want her to show interest but not be overbearing..its a two way street

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:30 pm

W8- I guess that didn’t last too long.. MEN..

Sassy Me....Cocoa cure :-)

May 20th, 2009
12:32 pm

OOMPAH LOOMPAH!!!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me..it’s like I have Turret’s or something

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:32 pm

imo i think a lady should keep doing what she was doing BEFORE she got her man. he liked what he saw, right? don’t break what is not broken.

Angie – But do you think that can sustain a relationship over time? Relationships call for greater responsibility. As a wife, you should be doing more than as a girlfriend. Same for you when you become a mother.

I mean, you can live the same life you lived as a single, but I don’t think the husband and kids would appreciate it as much. Deeper commitments call for deeper responsibility. IMO.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:34 pm

@DJ/EastPoint- ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..lol

about Vick: I support him he made a mistake did his time..etc etc..I just dont like him as our quarterback for game reasons..I like Matt Ryan I even like Schuab before he left..my favorite QB for the Falcons is D.J….GO DAWGS!!!

But serioulsly if Ray Lewis can bounce back after getting away with murder then becoming NFL MVP and wining a Super Bowl Vick can bounce back from this..

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:35 pm

Tell me what kind of outfit would a dude wear and maintian his masculinity with his sac squeezed between his thigh and a brass pole?

EPO – One of those tight Under Armour shorts and some biking shorts? Man, I don’t know! I’m not advocating it at all. But if you look at some of the European videos, it’s more like a body building competition then something you’d see at Magic City. Very fitness oriented. I haven’t seen the guys do it. Only heard of it. :lol:

There have been a couple of scenes in the show “The Game” where the guys have jokingly pole danced.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:35 pm

@LIoness- the sneakers threw me for a loop..lol

Melo

May 20th, 2009
12:36 pm

Silly when they could figure it all out for free and/or may not have anyone worthwhile to hone their skills on after graduation

yeah,thats kinda negative mentality.
Nothing in lyfe is guaranteed.Its like training to be a nurse and then finding out that there arent any jobs after u done.
Thats lyfe.

LIONESS-Tattoo Season is Here!

May 20th, 2009
12:39 pm

W8- LOL! Sneakers.. The amount of shoes I have.. SMDH! Matter of fact, I am about to see what Perimeter mall has to offer me.. Can’t wait to shop in Vegas

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:41 pm

Silly when they could figure it all out for free and/or may not have anyone worthwhile to hone their skills on after graduation

I missed that quote earlier. Thanks melo.

Just goes back to the point that you should do these types of things for you. It’s your money. People pay a a lot of money for things that seem “silly” to others and may not benefit anyone else in the long run.

Wise Diva

May 20th, 2009
12:41 pm

“Everyone working on the wrong things..What they need to be working on is the screwed up issues that spew and toxify a relationship”. <—-PREACH!

I was thinking that too, some should go to see a THERAPIST before you hit the pole, seriously!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 20th, 2009
12:42 pm

Personally, I want to take pole dancing classes to see if I can do it. Ever since I saw Toccara do it on Celebrity Fit Club I’ve wanted to take a class. I’m competitive like that, just like I’m training for this 5k just to see if I can do it. I have no desire to become a marathon runner or anything like that.

Poppa Grande

May 20th, 2009
12:42 pm

In Europe men taking pole dancing classes is gaining popularity…

Men wearing pantyhose is also gaining popularity (especially in England), but doesn’t mean that it will spread here.

-W8©

May 20th, 2009
12:45 pm

@Ared- All of those guys on “The Game” seem suspect except for Jason…lol

@WiseDiva-”I was thinking that too, some should go to see a THERAPIST before you hit the pole, seriously!”

…and that is not just limited to the stripper pole…………..

AmazonRed™

May 20th, 2009
12:45 pm

Well damn Wise Diva. I felt some bass in those keystrokes. :lol: