Doing Too Much?
I was reading an article in the June issue of Essence that raised a couple of great questions about single and coupled up women. The article, entitled Body Shop asked how far would/should women go to get a man or please the one they have? Obviously this will vary a great deal from one person to the next.
The article referred to this quest to seek physical and sexual perfection in hopes of landing a man or keeping a man. Some women are taking classes in everything from cooking to pole dancing, to sex lessons to raise their profile on the dating scene. If it can impress a man with one of the tricks/tips they have learned in these classes, it is well worth the investment of money, time, and effort.
I decided that I am pretty much too lazy to be that pressed about getting a man and maybe that is my problem. Am I doing enough to get a man? Should I start enrolling in classes that will make me a soul food cooking, pole swinging, vixen in the bedroom kind of woman that men are drawn to?
Guys, does it really take all of this to attract you? Do you really find women with a well-rounded “education” in male attraction more fascinating? Are you meeting women that disclose the fact that they are taking these classes? How do you respond when they tell you?
Ladies, do you think women are doing too much to get a man? Is it desperate measures or are these actions spot on? Should more women try harder to improve their profile to a single man with classes like this? Have you taken a cooking, pole dancing, or sex class before? Was it a good experience for you? Did you learn a lot? Did it make you feel empowered?
Happy Wednesday!
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482 comments Add your comment
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
May 20th, 2009
4:36 pm
LOL at melo’s :gasface:
kimmie
May 20th, 2009
4:37 pm
Sometimes you do have to work on self, other times, it’s just not your time.
Amred – I agree
And with that, I am out! Have a great evening good people!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 20th, 2009
4:38 pm
Foots…I got most of the t-shirts before I got smarter. One of the reasons an “over the hill white guy” (me) blogs here is because I have made every mistake known to man, and probably invented a few new ones that had God shaking his head wondering “where did THAT come from” LOL.
Maybe someone can get smarter, sooner…without the closet full of t-shirts.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 20th, 2009
4:38 pm
W8….”I used to be a big time player before I was married and didnt want to get back into that life so I didn’t put myself into those positions to fall back.” Boy you are really ’bout to make a sista come out of hibernation!
Hey….I may have to dance for ya! 
MELO…don’t feel guilty. I do not take everything in the bible as the 100% ultimate truth. There is contradiction and lots of other things that would take a long time for me to go into. When people start scripture quoting my ADHD kicks into overdrive and I zone out! Basically 2 different people can read the exact same thing and get too different interpretations from it. Who is to say who is right and who is wrong? Its a common sense approach. I don’t just believe things because Pastor said so….or because that is what I was taught to believe. As a child…of course. But as an adult…you need to seek what your TRUE beliefs are. At least when I have to answer for something on Judgement day I can honestly say I did it because I really believed it to be true..not because Pastor said so!
LIONESS…you chose yet another song I have choreography to. I love that song!
DEMI…you are crazy man!
-W8©
May 20th, 2009
4:39 pm
@Randy- lol im in that mistake boat with ya..lo..I used to roll so hard Satan himself would be like naww bro Im staying home..
Demi
May 20th, 2009
4:42 pm
( Sometimes you do have to work on self, other times, it’s just not your time. )
A.red…Fist bump!!
Due to her forgetfulness of Demi’s height…A.red knock Demi the fugg out, on their fist bump attempt
Foots
May 20th, 2009
4:43 pm
Tazzee I doubt many go with the notion that, after their counseling, they may not get married.
Unfortunately, that’s true, though I do know of a few people who called off their engagements after counseling. It’s kind of like how most people feel when they have to read all those papers they give you when you close on a house. Even if they see something they don’t like or understand, most people aren’t going to leave that table without those keys. Sometimes they should.
Professor That’s kinda the point I made about the legality of marriage earlier. If they stood up there and made the decision to be married, that is what made the bond, not the paper. The paper just makes it legal and gives each other certain rights in the eyes of the state. If the bond is broken and two people make the decision to divorce, the paper is the only thing holding them together. It’s just waiting to clear the legal contract at that point. So I guess your friend was married in the eyes of God (spiritually), but not in the eyes of the state (legally).
What did you get them for their wedding present? You might be able to get Judge Mathis to get it back for you!
AmazonRed™
May 20th, 2009
4:43 pm
I have made every mistake known to man, and probably invented a few new ones that had God shaking his head wondering “where did THAT come from” LOL.
RandyT, we’re just glad you lived to tell us the stories.
Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)
May 20th, 2009
4:46 pm
@ Demi- when she first told me about her “husband” not paying the minister I did not think much about the matter. I figured they would work something out, needless to say the honeymoon was over and I figured they would PAY the man. So when they started having problems and she moved out and another girl moved in with him…she made the comment. He was about 28 at the time and she was under 25. I was like they are ill.
For some reason people will always tell me the crazy mess as if I can solve it…
Melo
May 20th, 2009
4:46 pm
Yeah Tazzee,Beautiful said sme gross.I wanted my gas face to spew in her face.
Demi
May 20th, 2009
4:47 pm
And Fellas, the latest bra technology for women is off the chain…I watch my female co-worker go from an A cup to a low C…I thought to myself:
I feel for any dude taking her home tonight.
For real/Slim…Skit please!!
Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)
May 20th, 2009
4:48 pm
@ Foots I gave them a gift card. She looked at me cross-eyed when I told her I wanted my Tar-jay gift card back.
Melo
May 20th, 2009
4:50 pm
2 different people can read the exact same thing and get too different interpretations from it
yeah yeah yeah.Thats why homo weddings etc are on the rise in cali…..That seady(sp) side of bizzness is booming in kalifornyaia(i felt like strangling that wrd like swazzhzinegger does)
The end is near!!!
Foots
May 20th, 2009
4:50 pm
Randy See Amazon’s statement: “All of us will have failed relationship after failed relationship until one works. Sometimes you do have to work on self, other times, it’s just not your time.”
Don’t beat yourself up too hard, it’s not always all you. Even if you were the smartest, wisest, most perfect man on Earth, some woman could still come around and blindside you.
That’s what I dislike about someone claiming that you’re the problem if all your relationships fail. Life isn’t that black and white. Sometimes it’s not about you, sometimes it IS them. Sometimes you do your best, and the person you’re trying to be with asks for more than you can give. Sometimes you choose “outer booty” over “inner beauty”. Anyway, we date, find out what we like and don’t like, and eventually (hopefully) all the cards will fall into place with chemistry and timing.
Demi
May 20th, 2009
4:52 pm
Professor…Heck, you call yourself a professor…what do you expect, LOL
the Professor, is now professionally choking ish outta Demi
(thinking to self: Women!!)
Foots
May 20th, 2009
4:52 pm
Professor Oh yeah! You could certainly use that Target gift card. I’ll be your witness when we make it on the show if you promise me you’ll buy me some Clean Breeze scented Tide when you go to Target to use the card. The liquid kind. I’ll be out after about three more washes, so we need to get moving.
Demi
May 20th, 2009
4:54 pm
(She looked at me cross-eyed when I told her I wanted my Tar-jay gift card back.)
You had all rights to slap the ish outta that woman!!
Cemeeli
May 20th, 2009
4:55 pm
I have made every mistake known to man, and probably invented a few new ones that had God shaking his head wondering “where did THAT come from” .”
I absolutley love the REALNESS of that!!
But God has seen it all, nothing new under the sun for my Jesus (read: G-sus!!)
~ Ya’ll have a good one.
Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)
May 20th, 2009
4:55 pm
@ Demi…LOL I need to stop letting these fools know that I am a Professor and just say I kick rocks or something for a living.
@ Foots…I got your cut! Let me go file my court papers
Melo
May 20th, 2009
4:55 pm
Demi,we need to get tgether man.Whats u doing memorial weekend??
Leggs
May 20th, 2009
4:55 pm
I certainly agree
“In light of my past experience, current circumstances, and future hopes and dreams…is this the wise thing to do”? When you can answer yes, then do it!
I agree w/all who said you should take time to reflect after a divorce or a breakup. You’re right, RandyT, you need that time to stare at the ceiling 2:00 in the morning wondering how the heck did I get in this situation!
Taking time for yourself and your emotions surely helps in not coming across needy, desparate and willing to hump anything with 2 legs (I couldn’t say that any nicer cuz I didn’t want to)!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 20th, 2009
4:56 pm
Foots you are right. It is not always (seldom even) about just one or the other. One of the lady’s I dated said something that was incredibly accurate and I see the wisdom of the comment even now almost daily. She said, “If it is not right for one, it is not right for either”. Very accurate (of course sometime after that she did break my heart LOL…”right” does not always mean painless does it?)
Melo
May 20th, 2009
4:56 pm
U too Staceye and leggs…
Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)
May 20th, 2009
4:57 pm
By the way Foots, your 4:50 was great…well said.
Melo
May 20th, 2009
4:57 pm
Hey Foots! Can i look at somebody on this pic resembling u, i think??
hmmmmmm.That man better deserve u…im jealous..
AmazonRed™
May 20th, 2009
5:00 pm
That’s what I dislike about someone claiming that you’re the problem if all your relationships fail. Life isn’t that black and white. Sometimes it’s not about you, sometimes it IS them.
Foots, you know I love it!
-W8©
May 20th, 2009
5:01 pm
Denial is not just a river..lol
Catch you people in a day or so!
Professor (living for the 3 day weekend)
May 20th, 2009
5:02 pm
Wishing everyone a good evening.
Foots
May 20th, 2009
5:04 pm
melo Did you email it to me?
Randy I told somebody something like that too, but I said “You can’t love me enough for the both of us”. He thought his feelings for me would sustain us, even though I didn’t share those feelings. And someone basically said it to me too. You’re right, it was terribly painful. That’s what they mean by “the truth hurts”, I guess.
Demi
May 20th, 2009
5:05 pm
(…and just say I kick rocks or something for a living.)
I am chucking at that…But that’s not your style…You are who you are.
Night All.
For Real
May 20th, 2009
5:13 pm
Lets see what happening……
W-8 has discovered an untapped source of women. Apparently all you need to attract one is some lemonade and a hand full of fen-na-mints.
Demi has an unhappy pole in a married woman at work or something like that.
Foots has dated three dudes that had a problem processing a BM after they were divorced and apparently one of her friend married one of them and they now have a child that’s lactose intolerant.
Tmac sat on a wall, Tmac had a great fall. After 2E’s put his azz!
Dayumm apparently “til death do you part” ain’t divorce.
Ared: “I dated a well equipped separated man” – Wonder if she is talking about Truth.
Apparently W-8 lost his mancard for dancing on a pole.
Le Siren is threatening bust Vow Keeper in head with a pedestal
Apparently Cee attended a 1 year old party with stolen fish.
Dayum that Vow Keeper can shoal can take some punishment. First a pedestal to the head and now Foots puts a combination together
Awww ish Tmac just scratched 2E’s on her face.
Dayum Foots is in MMA mode she poured vanilla scented oil on Kimmie and body slammed her.
Ohhhhhhh 2E’s just kicked Tmac in one of his nuts but he didn’t go down
For Real now wrapping up some Black Cake for Sassy… Half says Happy Birthday, Half says Merry Christmas and the other Half says Wow Happy New Years!!!
Awwww dayum Vow Keeper getting her ish handed to her some she breaking out the bible quote. Why don’t you just tag out to KP!
Apparently 2Pennies has been drinking again at work.
“girl even with a step stool…a running start jump may be required!” – DAYUM!!! 2E’s is deeper than down!!
Vow Keeper
May 20th, 2009
5:15 pm
So God is good on swapping partners all over the place as long as you filed papers saying you erased the ink? GOOH!
Foots Not according to me, according to what I copied and paste. I didn’t write the good book.
And a lot of folks don’t even make their vows before God….if you state the vows, their before God. You make not have knowledge to that fact but if you take them, God is holding you to it.